1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy This. I'm your host, 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin. I wish I could I do, 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: but I can't. No, no, you shut up, seriously, I can't, 4 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: but I digress. Let's meet our chamis, shall we? In 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 1: no particular order? Please say hello to Craig Cocao Chow. 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: What's your favorite Joey Greer smell? Uh? There's one that 7 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: he'll come in the room with. That's a little vinegary, right, 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: but it's a little sweet too, and then there's a 9 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: distinct aftertaste of ass. Yes, that's the one, sweet and savory. 10 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: We call it stopp insanity. Vanessa Raglan is in the 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: Who's veniche? Do you have a message for our listeners? 12 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: Oh god, oh god, be drink hydrate, hydrate, drink hydrates, 13 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: drink hydrate. Take a boo. It's James Ceney. H Can 14 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: dolphins really talk? Absolutely? They just talk in a different language. 15 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:13,479 Speaker 1: What you've heard it? We all know whoa. It's Joey Greer. 16 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: Joe Oh no, how do you start your day? How 17 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: did you start your day to day? One ft at 18 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,199 Speaker 1: a time? Wow? So great. Let's go back to James 19 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 1: Heney and last bit. Shut it tight if you think 20 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: it believes it's Chris Alvarado desk, but Alvarado is your 21 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: love is still available in reusable sizes. No we ran out, 22 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: Oh man, damn, So it's now it's you have your 23 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: choice of extra small or triple X. Betweens. We'd like 24 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: to invite you to be a v I P member 25 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: of our Patreon page. Bonus episodes are not available to 26 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: non members. Will be yours. There's a phone number just 27 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: for v i P s. You can call and leave 28 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: a message, be the question or request what ebbs will 29 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: reply at our new regular video Q and A with 30 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: the Alchemists at my whose which are only available to 31 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: v i P s. All kinds of cool Ship. We're 32 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: having a contest right now. Another one's our second one 33 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: for a T shirt submissions. Um really, we're gonna shout out. 34 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: We have a list of names. I think at one 35 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: point we have to list off everyone's name. Is that right, James? Okay, 36 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: I think that's true. Yeah, that's one of the big ones. 37 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: All kinds of cool Ship. Please join our super core 38 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 1: fans by going to patreon dot com slash Alchemy. This 39 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: all of today's scene suggestions were guid from our listeners emails. 40 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,959 Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit yours, please write to the 41 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com. 42 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Our 43 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: first scene comes from Nicholas, who wrote, hello you, lovely people. 44 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: All time listener, first time caller from Munich, Germany. I 45 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,639 Speaker 1: jumped right into your Patreon at the v I P level, 46 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: which in my mind adds up to you having to 47 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: be at my beck and call. That's fair, it's it's 48 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: a deal. My idea is this Marvin McK as a 49 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: young man courting Judy Garland. Anyway, I idore all of you, 50 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: especially your name here, bestie group, Nicholas mach horror right 51 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: this way, Miss Garland. Is a great day. Thank you, 52 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,359 Speaker 1: thank you. It's very nice. That is mine. I'm sure 53 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: there's a gentleman who's paid for fairy special v I 54 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: P meet and greet me. Yeah, that goes to your foundation. 55 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: Oh no, possibly accepted. So he's we're just gonna give 56 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: you a couple of minutes with your handlers and whatnot, 57 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: and then we'll bring he Hey, how are you doing? 58 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: Nice to meet you? Yeah, I pay for this v 59 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: I P. I just want a couple of hards, maybe 60 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: a couple of kisses and achieved. Wait wait taking mea oh, 61 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: I can't have any more like that? Just three more? 62 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: How do you do I'm somebody you don't know. You're 63 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: spitting on her face. Please be not sorry about my 64 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: dead tooth. What I want you to know is that 65 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: I like you more than you probably no get him 66 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: away from me in our last V I P anymore, 67 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: Give me my bottle, Give me my bottle, the other bottle, 68 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 1: the other bottle. Now put them all into this bottle. Okay, 69 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: now put him into the blender. One morning. Ms. Garland, 70 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: this is Marvin mckugh. Hello, I'm Marvin mckugh. I'm twenty 71 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: three years old. I'm a big fan, are you well? 72 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: Isn't that lovely? Marvin? For there's no place like There's 73 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: no place like home, there's no place like I'm clicking 74 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: my heels, but I'm not going anywhere. You want me 75 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: to beat the ship of this guy? Please know you 76 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: should You're lucky positive Well, I know I'm lucky because 77 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: I'm in the presence of the greatest entertainment that this 78 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: country is everything and stop. I loved every number that 79 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: you're saying tonight, did you could you understand me? No? 80 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: I couldn't understand. You were slurring every word I was. 81 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 1: I'm starting, Garland. Your dinner reservations are available for how many? 82 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 1: Reminds me for two? But you always eat alone? I 83 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: do always eat alone. I always eat alone. Well, I'd 84 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: love to join you, Mr McK Where we're going to know? 85 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 1: We're going to the Rainbow room of course. All right, 86 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: it's actually a booth at the back of Oh Charlie's. Well. 87 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: That sounds good, I know, And I just want to 88 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: say hello, Judy Garland. I paid a meter earlier and 89 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: I was escorted out. Come on. That was horrible. No, 90 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,280 Speaker 1: that monsters scatting all over the place. Oh Marvin, Oh, 91 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: can you put this bottle into this battle? Sure, the 92 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,720 Speaker 1: damn bottle into the Do I have a bottle in 93 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: my shoe? You do? You have a bottle in your shoe? 94 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: How do you walk around? Can you reach the bottle 95 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: in my shoe? Yes? Oh? No, you m Garland? Oh, 96 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 1: I say you have someone with you? Tonight? Graduated college? 97 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: Congratulations young buck isn't he? I graduated from buck Nell? 98 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 1: Fantastic usual starters. Well well, well, oh no, fine, we'll 99 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: bring that right over and Mr MQ, what can I 100 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: get you? I'll have a rare steak. Oh it's a 101 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: lovely choice for a big man like you. Sorry, I'm 102 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: just talking to more. We're pissing. But I saw you 103 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: on the table with Jimmy Garland. Judy Garland. Yeah, her 104 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: name is Judy Garland. That's pretty cool. How did you 105 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: swing that? I'm a big fan. I'm her biggest fan. 106 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: I'm always switched clothes and I get to go on 107 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: the date. How would switch in clothes help? I don't 108 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: know if you might think that i'm you and you 109 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: don't give me a chance to sneak in there? Let 110 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: her know the real deal. There's no way a guy 111 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: like you can Land Garland back off, pal and I 112 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: can out piss you winning day, Yeah and pay guards. 113 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: You're back, Marvel. Why will wet marb and you catch 114 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: your death of cold in my sweater? Marving? Oh wow, 115 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: that's a big sweater. Will you be my arms man? 116 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: I can't this guy your fun mom and give me 117 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: a bite of my start? All right? It says if 118 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: my right hand grabbed before. Okay, this is hard to 119 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: court me. But okay, am I stabbing here with the fourth? Honey? 120 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: I think that Judy Garland is over there trunk where 121 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: she's in the table. She's hitting herself, nice d her. 122 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: She's poking her eye with the four. Why would she 123 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: do that? Look, I don't know why. I think, Oh 124 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: my god, it's Judy Garland. She's strong. Oh my god, 125 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: it's Julie. We should go getting that try with her. 126 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 1: Who the young man that's with her? Oh my god? 127 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: Is there a young man in her shirt using his 128 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: arms to pretend to be his I think it's tim Sleftman, 129 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: tim Sleftman that you went to high school with, Miss 130 00:08:47,559 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: Garland jesticulating, I am gesticulating. I obviously um Mrs Kirby, 131 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: Uh okay, I am. I just wanted to I don't 132 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: want to let me rephrase that your husband was found 133 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: drowned in a hard stream of presumable urine. Yeah, and 134 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,559 Speaker 1: his body who was left in the Did he tell 135 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 1: you to do? This is just some sort of joke, 136 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: because if it is, I don't think it's no, nor 137 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: do I think it's funny. He was his body was 138 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: found in the trough full advice. I am a detective 139 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: want I want to be a detective. And I heard 140 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: the detective talking about this, and I thought I could 141 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: get ahead of it and come out and talk to you. First, 142 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 1: I realized I was probably bored. Decision anyway, I come in. 143 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,679 Speaker 1: You should say that, man, I'm a detective with the 144 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 1: We're both detectives. We're both detectives. What the fun are 145 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: you doing here? I man, what did you tell her? 146 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: I just told her that her husband probably died from 147 00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: a hard ship of your he was found. Go back 148 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: to the station. You're gonna get your asking, all right, Hey, 149 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: what is happening? I thank you very much. You have 150 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 1: a lovely home. Ma'am. Here's the truth. You know too much? 151 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, she knew too much. Okay, Judy, Maracle, Judy. Well, 152 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: I don't know what else you call me unless you 153 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:31,599 Speaker 1: called me out. Don't do that's going to be a 154 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: big hit someday. Can I confess something to you? Yes? Absolutely, 155 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 1: I think I killed him. And tonight, with a powerful 156 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: stream of urine, we too, Garland, I'm back. I have 157 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 1: some very bad news. We know you were slated to 158 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:55,319 Speaker 1: do a duet with Mr Sinatra, but he can't make it. 159 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,599 Speaker 1: But we do have some microphones. We do have the 160 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: greatest piano player. Somebody saying duet scoop. So unless you 161 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: can find someone else to sing with you, I don't know, sir. 162 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: Do you sing? Boy? Why did you? Who say you 163 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: do or do not have a piano player? We do? Oh? Okay? 164 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: So did you want to sing by yourself? The people 165 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: who want to see a duet? I'd be happy to 166 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:33,559 Speaker 1: sing with you. I could never forget you move and 167 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 1: covered the nearing MQ. No, what do you want to see? 168 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 1: What do you want to sing? What do you? What 169 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: do you? What do you say? Can you put this bottle? 170 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 1: And ladies and gentlemen round of applause everybody for what 171 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: you're about to see. Now we have a very very 172 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: wear fashion sits take it putting on the rich? Come? 173 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: What is that? I'm telling you, sweetheart? She is drunk 174 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: up there, she's stinging and my legs she was such 175 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: and now she's using that man she was using his 176 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: arms earlier. Are you are you to finish your stands? Black? 177 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: A million dollar trooper? Super? Now you want to pawn 178 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 1: a shoe that Judy Garland had a bottle in? That's right? 179 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 1: Whatever that's right, you son of a bit, damn it. 180 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: You know I cut you off and he said, son 181 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,440 Speaker 1: of it. And I didn't think you're gonna come back 182 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 1: to son of a bit, you know. I mean, I 183 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: deal with this stuff all the goddamn time. This shoe, 184 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: I don't know. I have to to paw it. What 185 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: do you want to Well, let's cut out the middle man. 186 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: You get the funk out here if you're gonna do 187 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:15,640 Speaker 1: Jumy Garland. Judy Garland comment out. That's right, get the 188 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 1: funk out of here. Mr MQ. I'm Judy Garland's butler. 189 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: She has written you so many letters and she wants 190 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:29,959 Speaker 1: to know why you're not writing back. She's behind this. 191 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 1: What looked we shared one magical night. She wants more. 192 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 1: That's all I have to give. Well, I'm gonna step 193 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 1: aside and I'm gonna let you break this news to her. 194 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 1: Oh mov, Judy, kiss me, Marvin, kiss you one last time? Here, 195 00:13:56,559 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: kiss me here? Really? Oh ships to be seen? Number one? 196 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: Oh my, before I read seen number two, here's another 197 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: amazing emails, simply amazing. Alchemist. It's me Tim. You may 198 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: remember me from a couple of weeks ago when my 199 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: father died and Grandpa Joe was an alien. Well, y'all 200 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: done it again. I have another true story for you. 201 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: When I'm not listening to Alchemy this or hanging out 202 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: with my family, I am a sexual assault detective alas today, 203 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: I was mandated to patrol to assist with the Kincaid fires. 204 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: As I was driving down a freeway, there was a 205 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: stretch of homeless encampments. As one of the one of 206 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: the encampments, there was a man with his pants down, 207 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: bending very slightly and pooping. As we drove fast, he 208 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: literally had a long poop hanging from his bottom. I'm sorry, 209 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: I know it's foul, but here is the point. As 210 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: I was driving home after my shift, I was listening 211 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: to your live show on Patreon and you were doing 212 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: my scene suggestion. I was cracking up as at the 213 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 1: scene spiraling into being a baby being born in the 214 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: bathroom and Caroline's character having to cut an augillery chord 215 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: hanging down. But then, of course, even more magic happened 216 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: when Vanessa noted that the Auxiliarian record was really just 217 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:41,880 Speaker 1: a big dangling poop magic. How the heck do you 218 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: know every time? What's going on in my life. It 219 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: was both too soon and impeccably time. Stay strong, stay safe, 220 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 1: and stay free. We're the worst soothsayers. Thank you, Tim. 221 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: That was awesome and now seen. Number two from Sarah, 222 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: who wrote, Hello hawk Uness. I feel like everybody's always 223 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: complimenting you. Is that wired? You're pretty okay? Sometimes? No, seriously, 224 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: enjoy the show. I am a chicken farmer and listening 225 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: while doing chores. I still listen even after you're throwing 226 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: shade at chickens and their tenders. My idea is a 227 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: small town farmer at the farmer's market dealing with the public. 228 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: Even though they put she's they've put in eighty hours 229 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: that week of work. People at the market are always 230 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: coming up to me and complaining about the prices and 231 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: and that they can get a big retail stores versus 232 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: what I sell for. Also, everyone and their dog have 233 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: some non research thing to try to tell me how 234 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: to raise my birds better than they read online. So 235 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 1: like how rotten okay? So that's from Sarah and the 236 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: last thing she said one of the examples given like 237 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: how rotten yogurt will make chickens lay more eggs by 238 00:16:55,240 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: giving chickens rotten Interesting? Yeah, so we now taking that 239 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: farmer's market. Just if I take these three tomatoes, I 240 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: can't get a discount for buying in bulk. No that's 241 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,679 Speaker 1: not bulk. It's three tomatoes. Yes they're there are fifty 242 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: cents each. How once you go to Costco, get out 243 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: of line already. I'm about too great man. These are 244 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 1: these are naturally grown, no pest of sides, no gem gemallows. Well, 245 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 1: good lucks out on these tomatoes when they're all what 246 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 1: the fuss smash? Come here, come here, you know what? 247 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:31,959 Speaker 1: You know what? You know what I get for those 248 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: time you're gonna smash my petits. I'm gonna get something 249 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 1: from me. All right, all right, I'm gonna get what 250 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: are your nipples? Huh don't? I'm right there. Hold up, 251 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: Mr Tomato man, We nipples off. We run a classy 252 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 1: establishment here. Okay, alright, Look, if people are gonna smash 253 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,120 Speaker 1: my tomatoes, nightdown. People are gonna smash my tomatoes, I'm 254 00:17:56,119 --> 00:18:01,399 Speaker 1: gonna take a little piece of them. No, well, I 255 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 1: got a basketful of human nipples. That's all on sale. 256 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: Anybody wants a Sarah. How's it going, Sarah? Hey, wow, 257 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: we got a lot of those eggs. Huh great, I'll 258 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 1: keep patrolling keeping you safe. Thank you. I'm sorry were 259 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,920 Speaker 1: I was with my sister here were we want to 260 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: know how many are the eggs? Did you? How many 261 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 1: or how far did you fresh farm? The fresh farm? 262 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: They are fresh from my time? Speak up? My sister 263 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,199 Speaker 1: just gets freaked up. She's scared that one of them 264 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 1: is gonna hatch and it's not going to be a 265 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: chicken or it's gonna be a full grown human. So 266 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,719 Speaker 1: that's like, that's hers for like scrambling. It's you can 267 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: use them for anything you would use eggs for. As 268 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: they are eggs and there are egging, you can make 269 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:45,640 Speaker 1: egg urrings. How many eggs day are you from your chickens? 270 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,359 Speaker 1: You can speak you can speak up your chickens. How 271 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,359 Speaker 1: many eggs are? It varies a bit, but I I 272 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: yield probably between fifty and seventy that if you if 273 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: there were three dollars for a dozen and two dozen? 274 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: Look you freak my sister out? Do you freak my 275 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: sister out? Now? I read online? I read online. Okay, 276 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: you can go to a different booths alright forward market 277 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: security coming through, security coming through. What's the issue here? 278 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: The issue here is this woman? If I can say that? 279 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: Scared my sister? All right, how do you like tomatoes? 280 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 1: I like them raw or cooked? Fine, Well, there's some 281 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 1: behind you. Thank you, Sarah. Okay, yeah, thank you. I 282 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: was getting ugly fast. You don't you get pretty slow? 283 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:35,679 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm embarrassed. I'm newly newly divorced. Oh 284 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: I'm never ever relations congratulations. Excuse me? Are these free 285 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,879 Speaker 1: range chickens? They are, Yes, they're allowed to run around. Correct? 286 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: Do you read them? Um? I don't read to them. 287 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 1: I have listened to audiobooks around them, and I'm sure 288 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: are you wearing headphones? Are you just playing? Are you 289 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: playing on a speaker where the chickens can hear? Slaying 290 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: it on my iPhone without headphones? And I live on 291 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,119 Speaker 1: a farm, so I just put it on speakerphone. What 292 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 1: kind of audio books? Well? Why do you care? Well, 293 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: because I want to know books. So it's trash. Oh 294 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: my god, Charlie. I found some beautiful tulips, beautiful red 295 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: I think we want to avoid these eggs. These ads 296 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: want to avoid you too, both of you little shits. Hey, 297 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 1: are you guys looking for eggs? Are you in the sewer? Come? 298 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: Over to the grate. Lean down to the grave. Where 299 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: are you going? Did you drop something? Excuse excuse us? Hey, hey, 300 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: you guys are in the market for eggs. Yes we are, Yes, 301 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 1: I have. I have a chicken in my trench coat 302 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,639 Speaker 1: and it's just about to live in this sewer. You 303 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,439 Speaker 1: can just step over those people. Yeah, just put your 304 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: put your hand in my trench coat. Hey, you chicken fucker, 305 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,640 Speaker 1: what are you doing in my brain? Get out here. 306 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: I've got customers. I'm more cadustomers, of course. Yeah, trap 307 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: out of my holes. It's a lot better deal than 308 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 1: getting in a booth at the farmer's market. Get out 309 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 1: of here. I don't baby, I hear this. Baby, No, 310 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 1: I'm Charlie. Let's just get out of I'm sure he's 311 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 1: coming back. You know I'm gonna come out of you guys. 312 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: Stay there. There's a sale up there. Why do you 313 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: get I'm selling chicken eggs? How much? I don't know 314 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,640 Speaker 1: if you really want to buy him? How much? There's 315 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,920 Speaker 1: three dollars each, do three dollars? But they're really fresh. 316 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: This egg is gonna have a chicken in a second. No, 317 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 1: it's from a chicken's ass. Put your hand in my jack. 318 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 1: Put your chi called the cowaca, put your hand in 319 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: my jack, No problem, what every day cloaca? That true? 320 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,680 Speaker 1: And they got a mixture of urine and okay, so 321 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: you're just coming in for a general knowledge of chickens there, right, Yeah, 322 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 1: let's just say it's for a friend. Okay. Let's say 323 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 1: a friend found a chicken. All right, they want to 324 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: come in my friend. Yeah, it would have been more 325 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: help if I talked to them. No, I'd like to 326 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 1: really play telephone kind of situation. So let's just say 327 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: that I had a cheer. You're sweating in that trench coat. 328 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 1: It's trench coat. It feels like it's a down. Just 329 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 1: take it off. Okay, well I can't take it off. 330 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 1: So what if there was a chicken in my trench 331 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,159 Speaker 1: coat and I wanted if I wanted to easily have 332 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: the chicken pop on egg out into a hand. Well, 333 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: I can tell you right now from the stress and 334 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: heat that it's under that chicken. Excuse me? Is this 335 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: the chicken? Information? Does? Yes? It is. I don't have 336 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: an appointment. Is there any room? Say? Yeah, of course, okay, okay, 337 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: I'll take a number. Okay, thank you. Huh I'm sorry. 338 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just got so excited. My father there 339 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 1: was a chicken information alright, security backing up, back it up. 340 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: Hey Sarah, Hey, David, I am I want to confess 341 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: something to you. Wh would you kill? Why? That's the thing? Um? 342 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:17,920 Speaker 1: Week after week I buy dozens and dozens of I 343 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: don't actually used to fly and it's frankly, I have 344 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,679 Speaker 1: too many eggs and they're starting to rotten the refrigerator. 345 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 1: But the rotting smell reminds me of you. Know, you 346 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 1: have to get rid of rotting eggs. I don't want 347 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 1: to get rid of anything that you are a part of. 348 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 1: Are you saying? What are you saying? I'm in love 349 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 1: with you? Whoa I don't just like you. I don't 350 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: just like you a lot. I'm in love with you, 351 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 1: and I sleep with the eggs I get sometimes and 352 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: every now and then, David, is this the hussy that 353 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 1: you left before? I'm not hussy of a chicken farmer. 354 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,719 Speaker 1: Don't call her husamily that you left. The reason why, 355 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: my friend, David, this is a little You told me 356 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 1: you were divorced because I met you. I met you 357 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: two and a half months ago, and the first time 358 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: I saw you. Hi, we're back. The guy we were 359 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: talking to when the seward disappeared, he just left. So 360 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: I think we do want some of these? Great yes? 361 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,199 Speaker 1: Can you ask you? Do you feed the chicken's caviar? 362 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: What do you think about? That is the way to go, 363 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: you know, I was just curious about you. Where your well? 364 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:32,159 Speaker 1: You I have and I haven't you animals leave her 365 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 1: alone and you too to receive it. I don't love 366 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,920 Speaker 1: you anymore. I love Sarah, Sarah, and I have something 367 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: special going on your teller, Sarah, I don't. I thought 368 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 1: you were dude, but now you here? You want care 369 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: take these? Sara? Don't I don't want to hurt you. Well, 370 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,640 Speaker 1: then don't. I'll never hurt you. Yeah. So it's two 371 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: nipples for a dollar and then one dollar. Two nipples 372 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 1: for a dollar, and you get two nipples, two nipples 373 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: for a dollar. Yeah, it's a good deal. How fresher 374 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,239 Speaker 1: than him? Well, the ones that are greenish aren't going 375 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 1: to be the freshest one. But anything that's like only 376 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,439 Speaker 1: shouldn't freshen hipple? Uh yeah, pinker brown? And those are 377 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: the ones that are good. How many freshm nipples? Just 378 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,639 Speaker 1: show me the freshman. Just dig around here, I mean 379 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 1: just here like you are so, and who procured the nipples? 380 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,680 Speaker 1: I did? That's these are all fresh catches. Yeah, you're 381 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 1: the nipple catcher. How Long've been doing that often for 382 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 1: about two years now? Hey, um, do you these are 383 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 1: your nipples? Yeah? Have tomatoes to? Did you massage them 384 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 1: more to? No? I like to do it in shock. 385 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: It makes them tighter. Oh, actually I've heard opposite. I 386 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,640 Speaker 1: was gonna yeah, great, well I do opposite. So well, 387 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,120 Speaker 1: so your nipples are ship No, my nipples are taught 388 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 1: and hard. They're they're perfectly arected. That's not the way 389 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,280 Speaker 1: people want to eat them. It doesn't matter for either. 390 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 1: You can do what you can make him as a 391 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 1: small coaster for a little tea set. I mean, there's 392 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 1: so many applications. There's small a child's tea set, whatever 393 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 1: you like, small SIPs. I don't know if the children 394 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: should be using nipple coast. Look, man, there are two 395 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: for a dollar? Do you want? Yes? I do? Alright, great, 396 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: just pick two and take seven. Take seven. That's two 397 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,640 Speaker 1: dollars too. That's two for dollar. Okay, so that's three 398 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 1: fifty two for dollar? Is this your manager? Yes, give 399 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,680 Speaker 1: me a second, let me figure it out myself. Two 400 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,399 Speaker 1: for a dollar and how many do you want? Seven? Seven? 401 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 1: It's gonna three? No, no, no, the math is off there. 402 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm letting go. Okay, I'm sorry. 403 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 1: Just you can you just drive away and leave with Hey? Look, 404 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: chicken information? Here? Are you? Okay? Ma'am? I'm not okay? 405 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: This man behind are official chicken information? Identify some of 406 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: this from this chicken's ass? What the s tell my wife? 407 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: I made a mistake by choosing you because it was 408 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 1: just satuation. You didn't have it back for mere falling 409 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: into a hole? What has happened to a great? Oh? 410 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,200 Speaker 1: I live down here with you guys. I don't know 411 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: what did you bring? Uh? State of security? Sense of security? 412 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: Yeah you're not. I don't know. And I can feel 413 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: better about things because there's thank you get a weapon? 414 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, flashlight maglite O. Great's you guys have about 415 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 1: your own farmer's market down here at Harvards Ceple in 416 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 1: the story down there? Whoa No, tastes like a pickle? 417 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 1: Not interested? So I live here now? Okay? How much 418 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:04,959 Speaker 1: you uh like to sleep? Lad? Damn? Lay down that's preferred. Okay, 419 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: we do actually sitting up stand them. You're not allowing 420 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 1: room down here, got you? Maybe this is crawls. Yeah, 421 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:20,119 Speaker 1: it's seventeen dollars a day. What are you doing back here, Dave? David? 422 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: It's two in the morning. You left your family. You 423 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,440 Speaker 1: smell like sewage. I come with you with my hat 424 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: and hand, Darling. No one's here, No one's here. Why 425 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 1: is the room smell like pickles? It's I don't know 426 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: what I brought you, some treats your kids donuts? These 427 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: are pickles. They're Amish doughnuts. Stupid little fucker. This is 428 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: what got you kicked out of the house in the 429 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: first place. I didn't get kicked out about how much 430 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: you got left? Yeah you did, you left. Nobody needs 431 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: a dozen of these. I'm back. The baker doesn't. There's thirteen. 432 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: These are three. Made a mistake, you did. I swear 433 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: by my guard card, your guard card, that I will 434 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: not make this mistake again. What I've been dreaming of 435 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: you saying this for so long. Here's my mag light. 436 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: You need that. Martha. You should not take him back. 437 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: I don't care what he swore by. He swore on 438 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 1: his card card. He handed my card a thing he 439 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 1: printed out. You are weak and you need to get 440 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: so much stronger. Okay, ladies, sorry to keep you waiting. 441 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: I do have a question. I do have an answer 442 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: to your question about chicken. I ran into the chicken 443 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,800 Speaker 1: information desk and got an answer. We we broil it, 444 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: I guess. Actually I have another question. Okay, with the 445 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 1: chicken questions today, I mean, if it's too much, I'm sorry, No, 446 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:56,400 Speaker 1: it's it's okay. So if I don't want to broil it, yeah, 447 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 1: and I want to just cooking normal? What does that mean? Okay, 448 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 1: we're arrested. Were arrestaurants chicken questions? Yeah? Um? In terms 449 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: of you know, emotion and intimacy? Where did chickens go? Okay, 450 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: all right, I'll be right back, I'll be ready. Yeah, 451 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: I mean again again, I don't know what I'm sorry information. 452 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: So I'm sorry, sir. I don't have an appointment. I'm 453 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: waiting on a table about two miles away. I ran here. Yeah, 454 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,280 Speaker 1: it was something about oh god, what was it about 455 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:42,760 Speaker 1: chickens emotions? Chickens have emotions. Let me think, let me think, uh, emotions, 456 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: they have emotions. Yeah, actually, you probably want to go 457 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 1: to the philosophy tent because they're going to be able 458 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 1: to break it down in the way that Okay, do 459 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,800 Speaker 1: will they see me on a moment's notice? Okay, excuse me, 460 00:30:54,920 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: Mr chicken man. Yes, I'm an actual chicken, and you 461 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,800 Speaker 1: have been spreading false information about us. Look all I 462 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 1: get is the information I'm looking at you. Okay, Look 463 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 1: the Chicken department tells me what to say. Yes, he 464 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:17,719 Speaker 1: had decided to leave the firm. It turns out they 465 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 1: had been mobbed up all along. An audio book. But 466 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 1: this is me, John Grissom, reading my own work. It's 467 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: just an audio book. Okay, you into this embarrassingly? Yes, okay, 468 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 1: do you if I pet you? Huh? Do you like 469 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:41,840 Speaker 1: that I opened up the Pelican brief. You're laying an 470 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 1: egg discovered that it was time to kill Well, there's 471 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: an alligator in here. I'm not actually a chicken scene too, 472 00:31:55,800 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: there's an internal logic that's undeniable. Our final seeing him 473 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: from Jason here wrote Hello, I wanted to thank you 474 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: for making me look forward to my hour and a 475 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: half drive past in Santa Monica. Well, it's a lot 476 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: of traffic, I guess an hour and a half My 477 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: eyes are in tears of laughter, especially after listening to 478 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 1: the baseball mascot scene. My scene suggestion about to get 479 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: it Coloska Cana, Do you say that? Colon oscar colin 480 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 1: oscope exam by a doctor who is also an expert 481 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: in psychotherapy and then anecdotally connects their psychological issues with 482 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 1: their medical diagnosis best Jason Kang alright, looking at your 483 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: butt here? Yeah, that's the X ray of my I 484 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: have a question for you. Um, you have a question. 485 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:55,479 Speaker 1: I do because I'm the doctor. Yes, the rings here, Uh, 486 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 1: it looks like there's a little burning right, No, I don't. 487 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 1: You can't see it your face down, but it looks 488 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: like they're a little looking through the camera. Are you 489 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 1: down the gun hole? So it looks like there there's 490 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: some there's burning rings. Sir again, this is what I'm 491 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: telling you. What I'm saying, burned Edges, just calm down. 492 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: Every time you get upset, your pucker and I can't 493 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 1: see all right, so just stay relaxed. Let's stay loose. 494 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 1: Is that a whole fist? Yeah? Well I'm trying, but 495 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:32,880 Speaker 1: I got three knuckles in Rick, give me a second. 496 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 1: Thank you so much? Was I left her right handed. 497 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 1: All right, who's wanting? I really thought I was gonna 498 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 1: be under Do you want somehow? What does that? I 499 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 1: take in some right? There? Just want? That's not bad. 500 00:33:53,880 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: Don't swallow up? And oh my god? Hello, who are you? 501 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm not your god? No, but I'm the doctor. Oh. 502 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,759 Speaker 1: I have to go for the bathroom. Excuse me? What's 503 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 1: going on? Why do you have a sandwich in your head? 504 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,879 Speaker 1: I have to go? Are you by two o'clock? Yes? 505 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,919 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I am so sorry. Catch him someone 506 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 1: catch that man Farmer's market security. I don't know if 507 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: I could help. Well, you can run, go get him? 508 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: Do you love me? Oh? He doctor? What is happening? 509 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 1: How did? I'm afraid? I mean, I'm still unpacking what 510 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 1: I just saw. But I'm sandwich as well. Let me 511 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: just get my gloves on. We real doctors a few tips, 512 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: um wear gloves. We would that should have been the tailtible. 513 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: Never stick a sandwich on a bottom, make any sense? 514 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: But Rick, you'll me? Who are you? Who are you? 515 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 1: Rick's gone? Well, somebody's gonna pay me for my sandwich? Um, 516 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 1: here you go? Thank you? Should I leave? I think so? 517 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: All right? Bye? Thanks for the money. Thanks for the sandwich. 518 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 1: Let me get this straight. The guy came in, I 519 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: told you that you had the sandwich for the guy, 520 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,960 Speaker 1: and you did nothing. I'm just trying to get this 521 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,839 Speaker 1: report correct because no, I think that the sandwich had 522 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,240 Speaker 1: already been consumed, some of it was in the patient's 523 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,080 Speaker 1: but you mentioned that. I did say that yet, So 524 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 1: why would you not talk to the guy who gave 525 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 1: Rick that? Well? Because the way he said it, I 526 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,960 Speaker 1: felt guilty. He said where Rick? And I was like, 527 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: am I in the wrong place? But that's so you had. 528 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,960 Speaker 1: You had parents that were maybe not so nice and 529 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: nice but um not trusting, you know, And so I 530 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: felt good. Four three seven two Avenue m cochrane. I'm 531 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: gonna write clock, but scratch that out, all right? And 532 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 1: do you have their number? Uh? Oh, that wasn't their 533 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 1: whole address, because you need like a zip code and 534 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:02,600 Speaker 1: a stap and stuff. Okay, I'm a cop. I think 535 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,359 Speaker 1: I know how this works. So in their phone number 536 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 1: at the area code at the very end. I'm doing 537 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,320 Speaker 1: it in the order I would dial it so badly 538 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:17,920 Speaker 1: the area code ue three one three anymore? Oh, you 539 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:27,279 Speaker 1: didn't write those numbers down? Hello? Hello, Hello, can you 540 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 1: see me? Can you see me? No, this is a 541 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:35,399 Speaker 1: vocal can you see me though? No? Okay, good, good, 542 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: so far checks. I just talked to your daughter, Rebecca 543 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,280 Speaker 1: Rebecca Milson. I don't have a daughter. I have four sons. Okay, 544 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 1: thank you? Oh male, can I see you mom? Yeah? 545 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,320 Speaker 1: Of course. I'm getting some reports about your work in 546 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 1: the field, and I just wanted to also a couple 547 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 1: of details would be great if you could cooperate them, 548 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 1: that'd be great. Yes, sir, you've written down about a 549 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,800 Speaker 1: third of an address here. Uh so what was that about. 550 00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 1: I've got a number, a street name, and that's it. Yes, sir, 551 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,239 Speaker 1: well Lincoln. Uh did you think it was just here 552 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,560 Speaker 1: in town and you would find it? Oh? Even if 553 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,600 Speaker 1: it wasn't, sir, I'd do my due diligence. Right. Well, 554 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,880 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem so because you didn't write down the city, 555 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,439 Speaker 1: the state where it crossed out the address a little 556 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,239 Speaker 1: bit clockran you did, and then then you wrote in 557 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,319 Speaker 1: cock Ring. Yeah, and to be fair, sir, no one 558 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 1: lives there. It's not that's not a real address. Yeah. 559 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:34,280 Speaker 1: This is a sex shop man. Yeah, for now, picks 560 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: what's going on your mind? Sterilized yeah, that's been sterilized. 561 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:45,279 Speaker 1: That has it is a Judy Garland boot replicas. That 562 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:49,400 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, no, it's a real thing. Jesus, Hey, baby, 563 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,360 Speaker 1: you were right. You were right. You're right. Whens to 564 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:58,960 Speaker 1: the doctor today said my butt looks fine, but but 565 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: I do have trust issues. Yeah, that's what I was saying. 566 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,720 Speaker 1: You were right. Well, thank you, I'm sorry, I mean sorry. 567 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 1: It's a good start. Well I can go further. Thank you. 568 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,640 Speaker 1: You gave me somethings to work on at home with you. Okay, Well, 569 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 1: I've actually got some things I'd like to work on, 570 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: but we'll start with what you want and will move 571 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,359 Speaker 1: fast because we gotta make up for lost time. Okay, 572 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,320 Speaker 1: I'm pulling my pants down. Okay, put your finger in 573 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 1: my butt, all right? Okay, and now this is the 574 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,680 Speaker 1: place of truth. Is this is exciting like I wanted. 575 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 1: This is like what I wanted to be doing a 576 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 1: month ago. I know, I'm I'm catching up. I'm catching up. 577 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 1: What was that mom down? Closer to it? And how 578 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 1: did you go with your wife? Well? Did you do 579 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,200 Speaker 1: the exercises I recommend? Yes, but she added her own 580 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,239 Speaker 1: she had a little wrinkle that was an issue. We 581 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,959 Speaker 1: had the button place, I mean the finger in place 582 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,640 Speaker 1: for the for the circle of truth, right, and justin 583 00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:14,000 Speaker 1: I was about to open up, she shoved. She said 584 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 1: the remote controls in remote control. Was it a universal remote? 585 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,920 Speaker 1: I don't recall. But then my daughter walked in and 586 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:25,919 Speaker 1: I was crying, and I was like, it's pretty easy 587 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,560 Speaker 1: to tell if it's a universal remote. Doesn't work, doesn't 588 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,279 Speaker 1: work for for multiple Yeah, it does, I think. So 589 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,680 Speaker 1: I just don't I feel I feel like I've regressed. 590 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,080 Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm making any progress anymore. Do Okay, 591 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,439 Speaker 1: I'm going to write you a prescription for a more 592 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:43,919 Speaker 1: ass play, It says cockering. Yes, there's a sex shop 593 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,440 Speaker 1: down the block. Um, yeah, and I don't give me 594 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,600 Speaker 1: one of those little hats. I guess I just lost 595 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,440 Speaker 1: my job, so it's sucking nuts. But I was a 596 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,160 Speaker 1: doctor for a while. Crazy how these things just flip out, 597 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Those inflatable dolls, they inflate 598 00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 1: themselves or them up unless you have one of those 599 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,919 Speaker 1: air pumps. You guys sell those here. Okay, you gotta 600 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:10,480 Speaker 1: go home, you do, I know you? Um, I think 601 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 1: you were putting a sandwich in a man's asshole in 602 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 1: my office today. I was just stopping by for a 603 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,600 Speaker 1: butt plug. But this day will not end. Yeah, I 604 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:23,279 Speaker 1: don't did did we? Ring? That's my name? I found 605 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,520 Speaker 1: that out from your sandwich guy. You owe me eight bucks? 606 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:31,440 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's not me. Prescription off? Okay to 607 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:36,759 Speaker 1: me about a half hour to fill this. Uh you're 608 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:40,719 Speaker 1: getting you get a prescript shruckt uh filled out? I 609 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,480 Speaker 1: can do that. I'm a doctor. He's not a doctor. 610 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 1: You're not a doctor. I don't know who you are. 611 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 1: Give me your wallet, give me your walk I shouldn't 612 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 1: have that. I'm gonna need to size you for that cockering. 613 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 1: Oh you want to do that in the back? Are 614 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,480 Speaker 1: you're just gonna do that? Here? We're gonna do that here? 615 00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:01,040 Speaker 1: Do you care? Whoa if I? If I let the 616 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: counter people start stealing ship? Well, you were a doctor, 617 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:12,719 Speaker 1: Harvard educated doctor at one time. Let me hear it up. 618 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:18,840 Speaker 1: I worked in theoretical ideas, and in doing so, the 619 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,840 Speaker 1: thought that I could be young at heart was always 620 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,120 Speaker 1: available to me. Which you are young. You look like 621 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:29,640 Speaker 1: you your twenty six says on your license. Sorry I 622 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:33,439 Speaker 1: am twenty s So I had to run the counter 623 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,719 Speaker 1: from my uncle while he's doing something back there. Either 624 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,399 Speaker 1: of you want or anything. The lady wanted that blow 625 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,440 Speaker 1: up doll and I wanted the butt plug, and he 626 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 1: hears me heat dollars so you can start it on 627 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,359 Speaker 1: him and then I'll finish off whatever's last. Alright, Yeah, 628 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,800 Speaker 1: well we put on her tab and then no, we 629 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 1: can put the butt plug on your tab and then 630 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:56,480 Speaker 1: I'll pay the difference. Yes, Rick, Yes, I thought you 631 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,399 Speaker 1: were a banned from the store. Was my uncle? No? Yeah, 632 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,000 Speaker 1: he I talked to him. I was just talking to 633 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:06,439 Speaker 1: me back behind the counter. Well, we have your length 634 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: but not your girth, so but everything was going fine 635 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,920 Speaker 1: out there, I thought, yeah, yeah, Well can I ask 636 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,799 Speaker 1: you a question? I have the little scale. Okay, we're 637 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,320 Speaker 1: a little scale. Is this all just mumbo jumbo or 638 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,760 Speaker 1: well this really helped me. Look, you're weighing my balls 639 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:27,200 Speaker 1: later member on the little scale. My balls are my penis. Well, 640 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,840 Speaker 1: what do you want, doctor? We can do both together, 641 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,960 Speaker 1: or we can do which amazements? I mean, I know 642 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,279 Speaker 1: how much of balls were I going to tell you 643 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,320 Speaker 1: we need to do? We need to do at amagement. Yeah, yeah, okay, 644 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:44,360 Speaker 1: we're coming in at um twenty two ounces. Yeah, big boss. 645 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 1: If you get the wrong size cockering, I mean, your 646 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,359 Speaker 1: marriage is at stakes. What I'm asking you? Yeah, well 647 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 1: it'll work. We'll go home with this. Is Is this 648 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,880 Speaker 1: a solve all? Fix all? I just fit people for 649 00:42:54,920 --> 00:43:00,439 Speaker 1: the cock rings like out, don't squeeze that. I didn't 650 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:07,200 Speaker 1: know what that was, penis. Oh look what well this 651 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 1: is going on? There's a classic meat cute happening out 652 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 1: in the I don't give a damn about that, all right. 653 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 1: If you think for one fucking second, I'm gonna give 654 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,719 Speaker 1: up my right as an American, go look at the 655 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,359 Speaker 1: don't have sex with plastic. You're up your ass, all right, 656 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,040 Speaker 1: I am my ask thanks for probating. Charge it to 657 00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,520 Speaker 1: her and then just give me aet to him. Just 658 00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,520 Speaker 1: pay for the butt plug. Pay for it. I can't 659 00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 1: pay for it. Taking money out of your pocket and 660 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,120 Speaker 1: pay for the ladies but plug. I want that latext 661 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,600 Speaker 1: thing to come on. You want the little horsetail. I'm 662 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:43,160 Speaker 1: not gonna buy that, all right? Now, look what's listen? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Okay, 663 00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:48,759 Speaker 1: we're listening to if if If I pay for the 664 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:52,880 Speaker 1: butt plug, okay, and I get the little doll okay, 665 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 1: and in the tail Okay, why don't we Why don't 666 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,680 Speaker 1: we throwing something else there? Just for ships and gigs? Huh? 667 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,799 Speaker 1: What are you thinking? I'm thinking, don't know, maybe another doll, 668 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 1: another doll? Yeah, why not? Maybe he just blew up 669 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:08,239 Speaker 1: that whole situation just then, want to buy another doll? Yeah? 670 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:17,240 Speaker 1: Do you feel the energy though between that? Yeah? Okay, okay, 671 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,960 Speaker 1: so are we all done here? I'm almost done, but 672 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:24,000 Speaker 1: I'd like to get more accurate reading. I don't can 673 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,040 Speaker 1: we get a temperature? I'm sorry, Sorry, we're gonna have 674 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,600 Speaker 1: to remove your penis. It seems that the cook ering 675 00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 1: that you had purchased, um was well, that wasn't good metal. 676 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,640 Speaker 1: Because what are my options here? Well, your options are 677 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,960 Speaker 1: being fitted for a synthetic piece. We can and that's 678 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,680 Speaker 1: the real thing. Oh yeah, did it look real? Super real? 679 00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 1: We can make them huge? I think the size color? Yeah, 680 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,680 Speaker 1: whether it's good to have you back. Let me just 681 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,320 Speaker 1: look over your file, remind myself of your case. Yeah, no, 682 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 1: need doc. Take a look at the this. It looks 683 00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,879 Speaker 1: like a big plastic pretender penis with a little blow 684 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,839 Speaker 1: up all on it. Wait, wait a second, you work 685 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:14,000 Speaker 1: at the sex shop. And the doctor's office. What do 686 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:19,000 Speaker 1: you mean you get a whole racket here, your your 687 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:23,560 Speaker 1: your prescription rotting my penis off of my body? Well, 688 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,480 Speaker 1: did you read the fine print? There's always a five 689 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,560 Speaker 1: percent chance of that happening. I never go back to 690 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 1: the sex shop by Wait, well, anyway, do you think 691 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:36,680 Speaker 1: Mitchell marriage not bad? Really not bad? And I guess 692 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,160 Speaker 1: now the more I think about it, if my if 693 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,479 Speaker 1: the cheap metal on that cockering hadn't infected my little 694 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,920 Speaker 1: penis and making it so that I had to have 695 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,280 Speaker 1: it cut off and then have the synthetic large penis 696 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,600 Speaker 1: put on my body, thus being able to satisfy my 697 00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 1: wife mentally and physically, I guess I wouldn't. Bye, I 698 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:03,120 Speaker 1: forgot to get my sun casse tuna. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 699 00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:11,359 Speaker 1: it's up my guss doctor. Come in. Hi, I'm here 700 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,480 Speaker 1: to see the doctor. We have one second. Please, you 701 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,839 Speaker 1: have an appointment. I don't have an officer of the law. 702 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,000 Speaker 1: What are your name? Please may see some sort of 703 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:26,120 Speaker 1: identification officer. That's a big bed that's you, huh tipt No, officer, tipto. 704 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,719 Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor. You want to see the doctor, Yes, 705 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,880 Speaker 1: if you just have a seat that'll let him know 706 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,719 Speaker 1: to stand. I don't I sleep when I stand right, 707 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:39,640 Speaker 1: but it makes me nervous. I'm gonna stand. I would 708 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,279 Speaker 1: you like me to get to the doctor? I would that. 709 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,400 Speaker 1: I would need you to take it. Lay on my knees. 710 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,839 Speaker 1: But one appointment, of course you do. Nice to see 711 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,400 Speaker 1: you again, Mrs Julison here, Mrs Wilson, Mrs Wilson. Do 712 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:55,799 Speaker 1: you do you have anyone who lived on Cochrane Road three? 713 00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,640 Speaker 1: What is those simples that you write on that note? 714 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,400 Speaker 1: Do you know anyone at this addrest? That's not letters? 715 00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:03,279 Speaker 1: Are numbers? Do you know anyone at this address? I 716 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,440 Speaker 1: don't know what that is? Do you know anyone at 717 00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,600 Speaker 1: this don't know what that is? Do you know anyone 718 00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:11,120 Speaker 1: at this number? Then? You never seen this number? Number? 719 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,759 Speaker 1: Look at this? Please look at me? Look like someone else? 720 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:18,480 Speaker 1: It looks like stick. Please stop arressing our patients, customers. 721 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to get the doctor. Mrs Wilson and Verdetta. 722 00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,560 Speaker 1: Would you have towards, sweetheart? Did you see that assistant 723 00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,719 Speaker 1: just slap the ship out of that cop I did, 724 00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:31,400 Speaker 1: I say the copy ship. I don't know if this 725 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,840 Speaker 1: is a real doctor's office, but they've done wonders for you, 726 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:40,960 Speaker 1: so let's keep going, okay, doctor, Yeah, Mrs Wilson, as 727 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:45,440 Speaker 1: I want to. Yes, Yes, there's also office outside, just 728 00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:50,000 Speaker 1: asking and yelling at a patient about that. Okay, look 729 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,719 Speaker 1: that is not a number. V may need to move 730 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:59,479 Speaker 1: the office again again. Yeah. Yeah, there's a sewer, we said, 731 00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:05,200 Speaker 1: just as an opening. Start packing. Okay, yeah, meanwhile Mrs 732 00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:09,239 Speaker 1: Lis okay, I'll see her. And then Philish came out back. Yeah, 733 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:16,160 Speaker 1: how can I hope you today? You already? Did you already? 734 00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:19,560 Speaker 1: Did you know what you said about my asshole and 735 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 1: how it was all connected to d Well, you're right 736 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,719 Speaker 1: it was, and Lucy's a goose. I don't know, but 737 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,839 Speaker 1: I got a new lease on life. Well you're here, 738 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,879 Speaker 1: so I might as well take a look. Oh yeah, 739 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,960 Speaker 1: I love it. I love nothing more. You're gonna have 740 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:43,319 Speaker 1: to drop partner. Some pop falls out. It's okay. I'm 741 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 1: a doctor. I'm an as doctor slash psychologist. Oh you 742 00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:52,879 Speaker 1: know my mother, I forgive her in there right down 743 00:48:52,960 --> 00:49:00,359 Speaker 1: the barrel. Okay, let me ask you something. Oh there's 744 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:03,520 Speaker 1: something in there? Who is it? Oh? I don't know. 745 00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:10,040 Speaker 1: I just moved in. Okay, Okay, this is there's someone 746 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:15,160 Speaker 1: living in the Pardon me, I'm sorry you got to 747 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,160 Speaker 1: hold bout of them in there. Help me find my cage, 748 00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:21,600 Speaker 1: will drive out of here. Yes, sounds good. Okay, Well, 749 00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:25,880 Speaker 1: we're going to need to do some regression therapy and 750 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,200 Speaker 1: we're going to need to talk about your childhood again, 751 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 1: and then I think the guys living in your asks 752 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,040 Speaker 1: will go away. I would like that very much, now 753 00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:34,919 Speaker 1: that I know they're here. Okay, I'm going to write 754 00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,799 Speaker 1: you a prescription. Do you know the sex shop down 755 00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:42,400 Speaker 1: the street, Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, so they don't have 756 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:46,000 Speaker 1: everything you need there. Okay, thank you so much, and 757 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,200 Speaker 1: now I'm going to escape out the back because this 758 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:54,120 Speaker 1: is illegal, okay. And that's our that's like all of 759 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,960 Speaker 1: our alchemists in no particular ord. Joey Greth, thanks so 760 00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,120 Speaker 1: much for being here and being as weird as you 761 00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,120 Speaker 1: are happy to be here. If you want to hear 762 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,319 Speaker 1: some more weird ship, check out my album good Night, 763 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:08,399 Speaker 1: Good Night So Good Botify and iTunes, Amazon, Napster as well. 764 00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,320 Speaker 1: It's in the top three hundred albums in the country, 765 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:15,440 Speaker 1: so congratulations. Yeah, it is amazing. James Jeeney, thank you 766 00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:19,120 Speaker 1: guys for tuning in I have to also say I 767 00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,200 Speaker 1: have left a lot at Chowe's alp them so checking 768 00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:27,239 Speaker 1: out an opportunity. It's very funny. Thanks James Cracket. Nothing 769 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:31,880 Speaker 1: on the charts right now, but keep keep posting it 770 00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:37,279 Speaker 1: at Kikowski on Twitter, see Kikowski on Instagram. So nothing 771 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:42,200 Speaker 1: on the charts. Dynasty dipe writer and congratulations again on 772 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:46,280 Speaker 1: the New York Times looking on it, Chris Ovarando zero 773 00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,120 Speaker 1: chart talk. A lot of us here though, do a 774 00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,359 Speaker 1: lot of shows, a lot of places. Yeah, So one 775 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,240 Speaker 1: of those places is the West Side Comedy Theater. Inside 776 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,160 Speaker 1: there a lot of us here teach their new shows there. 777 00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:01,040 Speaker 1: So stop by the West Side Comedy Theater and Engineer 778 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:04,920 Speaker 1: to the Stars Mr Doug Bank and I heard media. 779 00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:12,280 Speaker 1: Go to Patreon dot com, slash alchemy this and support 780 00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,000 Speaker 1: the show if you can, If you'd like, there's a 781 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,840 Speaker 1: hotline phone number there. We await your requests and questions 782 00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,160 Speaker 1: all right to us at your name here tolcy this 783 00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:24,080 Speaker 1: dot com. We greatly appreciate your patronage. Until next time, 784 00:51:24,080 --> 00:52:00,800 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Polican. Remember who