Speaker 1: I'm very proud of myself for having made it through
Speaker 1: those moments. I didn't know that that was like my
Speaker 1: body physically telling me something's wrong. You're a singer, actress, activists,
Speaker 1: all those superstar Please.
Speaker 2: Welcome Becky Gee.
Speaker 1: When you start in a career as young as I did,
Speaker 1: it's very much so like put your head down, get
Speaker 1: it done, get it done, get it done, get it done,
Speaker 1: and then you like blink and then you're like, oh snap,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six.
Speaker 2: Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite
Speaker 2: you to join this community to hear more interviews that
Speaker 2: will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All
Speaker 2: I want you to do is click on the subscribe button.
Speaker 2: I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments,
Speaker 2: and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go
Speaker 2: on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing.
Speaker 2: It means the world to me.
Speaker 1: The best selling authoring post the number one health and
Speaker 1: wellness podcast, I'm Purpose with Jay Shedding.
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one
Speaker 2: health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every
Speaker 2: one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier,
Speaker 2: and more healed. You know that our goal here is
Speaker 2: to only sell stories that are going to make us
Speaker 2: feel better, to make us improve ourselves, to make us
Speaker 2: connect with ourselves in a more authentic and deep way.
Speaker 2: And today's guest is someone that I've wanted to have
Speaker 2: on the show for years now, so I'm so happy
Speaker 2: that she's finally in this seat. I'm talking about multi
Speaker 2: platinum award winning singer, songwriter, actress, and activist Becky g
Speaker 2: who is born for the Spotlight, and her multifaceted career
Speaker 2: has proven Becky to be one of the most influential
Speaker 2: artists of her generation. The twenty six year old Global
Speaker 2: Superstars long list of achievements include four Latin Grammy nominations,
Speaker 2: four number one hits on the Billboard Latin Airplay charts,
Speaker 2: and her debut album Mala Sante certified eight times platinum
Speaker 2: in the United States, platinum in Spain, and gold in Mexico,
Speaker 2: putting Becky at over eight point nine billion global career
Speaker 2: streams to date. Today, we're talking about her new album, Eskinas.
Speaker 2: Did I say that right?
Speaker 1: Yeah? You did.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the show, Becky, what's going on? Wow?
Speaker 1: I feel like I was holding my breath that whole
Speaker 1: time because I was like, Jennie Sheddy is totally just
Speaker 1: giving the whole feel of my entire career layout. And
Speaker 1: I admire you so much and I'm so happy to
Speaker 1: be here, and the same way you've been trying to
Speaker 1: get me to sit in this chair in front of
Speaker 1: you for so long. I feel like everything just happens
Speaker 1: for a reason, with purpose on purpose, and I'm ready
Speaker 1: for the triple h man, I'm ready for it.
Speaker 2: I love it. Why was now the right time for
Speaker 2: you personally? Earlier you were just mentioning that you know,
Speaker 2: you and Rody bumped into each other last week, and
Speaker 2: you're saying now is a time where you've been looking
Speaker 2: for the signs like why, why is now a good
Speaker 2: time for you to be talking and sharing? Why are
Speaker 2: you feeling that way?
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a time in my life where, well,
Speaker 1: I mean, if we go all the way back to
Speaker 1: like when I was young, I'm such an observer, like
Speaker 1: I'm a little sponge.
Speaker 3: I taken everything around me, but especially.
Speaker 1: Like when you start in a career as young as
Speaker 1: I did, it's very much so like put your head
Speaker 1: down get it done, get it done, get it done,
Speaker 1: get it done, and you just keep going and you
Speaker 1: keep going, and then you like blink and then you're like, oh, snap,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six, Like look at all the things around me,
Speaker 1: Like what is this?
Speaker 3: What's actually happening?
Speaker 1: And so there's a little bit of an awakening I
Speaker 1: would say that's happening in this season of my life
Speaker 1: of a deeper sense of self, a desire to expand,
Speaker 1: and so as I look around and invite these signs,
Speaker 1: it just it's beautiful when it's really like affirmed by
Speaker 1: the universe that like there's no better time than now.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And what was it that got you started so young?
Speaker 2: Like how and why did that even come about for you?
Speaker 1: I think, well, I love making people smile, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: I grew up in a very big family. So I'm
Speaker 1: one of four kids. I'm the eldest, and then I
Speaker 1: have my brother Frankie, my brother Alex, and my baby
Speaker 1: sister Stephanie. And we were just like this dynamic four,
Speaker 1: fantastic four, always like we didn't do anything without each other.
Speaker 1: And I feel like we all just were so different,
Speaker 1: but we all had this sense of belonging because of
Speaker 1: how nurturing my mom was about our differences and how
Speaker 1: you know, one could like this color, but you can
Speaker 1: also like a different color. And Frankie you like to
Speaker 1: play sports, but be you like to dance, and Stephanie
Speaker 1: you love to cook. And we were just very free
Speaker 1: to be ourselves at home. I felt so lucky to
Speaker 1: experience that at such a young age, but I felt
Speaker 1: so misunderstood outside of that space because I realized, wow,
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of social constructs that don't allow
Speaker 1: us to really be that true, authentic version of ourself.
Speaker 1: And so I was just like hell ben on making
Speaker 1: sure that other people felt seen and felt heard and
Speaker 1: felt loved the same way I got to when I
Speaker 1: was younger. And so yeah, I think it started with
Speaker 1: that desire, that desire to make people feel connection, you know,
Speaker 1: for me to feel connection with someone else outside of
Speaker 1: that space as well.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I feel like we're all everything we all
Speaker 2: do is wanting to feel connected, right, whether we're crying
Speaker 2: or whether we're laughing, or whether we're reaching out for
Speaker 2: help or we're reaching out to help, Like all of
Speaker 2: it almost seems to be a cry for connection. We're
Speaker 2: all wanting to feel that. And you've talked a lot
Speaker 2: about this concept of the two hundred percent, which is
Speaker 2: what this new album is based on your roots, and
Speaker 2: I love that idea. Can you explain it because it's
Speaker 2: the first time I'd heard about it in that way
Speaker 2: and I really really appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. Well I okay.
Speaker 1: So I'm Mexican American. I was born and raised here
Speaker 1: in LA And it's interesting to me how I always
Speaker 1: like it was always like the fifty to fifty, you know,
Speaker 1: you're half this, half that, And I didn't like that.
Speaker 1: There was something about that that never sat well with me,
Speaker 1: and I think it's because it made me feel like
Speaker 1: in order to be accepted here, I have to give
Speaker 1: up a part of myself, and in order to be
Speaker 1: accepted there, I have to give up a part of myself.
Speaker 1: And in reality, it's like I am who I am.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have to give up any of who it
Speaker 1: is that is my true authentic being to be accepted somewhere,
Speaker 1: to fit into this this space, this shape right that
Speaker 1: doesn't feel organic to me, that doesn't feel natural to me.
Speaker 1: And it was a little like micro like experiences like
Speaker 1: even hanging around my cousins who were from Mexico, and
Speaker 1: I'm telling me I was American, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I guess technically, yeah, but like I don't know when
Speaker 1: I'm in America, they tell me that I'm Mexican, So
Speaker 1: which one am I? And there's this this saying in Spanish,
Speaker 1: you know, Nidia qui, Nidia yah, You're not from here,
Speaker 1: You're not from there? And then I would respond to
Speaker 1: that and Ton says on the Miquel like, well in
Speaker 1: that kid, where do I stay? Like where do I belong?
Speaker 1: You know? And so it's kind of like rewriting that
Speaker 1: to say, like no sisoy like I am, I am
Speaker 1: from here and from there csaki eia yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's kind of what inspired the album Mesquinas, because
Speaker 1: I am not this side or that side of the
Speaker 1: streets that raise me. I am the corner of two flags,
Speaker 1: two cultures, two languages, and I know I'm not the
Speaker 1: only one, you know, not just within the Latin community even,
Speaker 1: but i'd say, and I have so many friends who
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know that. Do you feel like
Speaker 1: you have a two hundred percent experience sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well I love that. That's why I love the
Speaker 2: way you put it, and even just now, the way
Speaker 2: you explain that is so beautiful and elegant, Like it
Speaker 2: really resonates with me. I love that idea about not
Speaker 2: having to be half of this and half of that.
Speaker 2: I actually experienced it even more in the roles I've
Speaker 2: played in the world, and so I often say to
Speaker 2: people that I'm as much the monk mindset as I
Speaker 2: am the manager in my work, as I am the
Speaker 2: media person, as I am now a married person, like
Speaker 2: all of that is me. I'm not one or the other,
Speaker 2: because I often get that where it's like, oh, Jay,
Speaker 2: it used to be a monk and now you have
Speaker 2: companies and you're married and do this and that, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but the two things can coexist for
Speaker 2: me as an identity because there's so much from that
Speaker 2: that I love and relate to, and then there's so
Speaker 2: much from this that I love and relate to. And
Speaker 2: again with being born in London, but my parents are
Speaker 2: from originally from India, but then my mother is from Yemen,
Speaker 2: and so there's so many cross sections in my background.
Speaker 2: And then I'm someone who's born and raised in London
Speaker 2: but now lives in la and so there's that intersection,
Speaker 2: and I love the idea of how we can all
Speaker 2: be so much more than what our passport says, or
Speaker 2: than what our job title says, or then what our
Speaker 2: bank balance says or whatever it may be, Like we're
Speaker 2: all so much more. So I think by you saying that,
Speaker 2: And I love the idea of the street corner. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that's really cool because that's all the cool stuff
Speaker 2: happens on the corner, not on either side of the
Speaker 2: street anyway.
Speaker 1: I mean totally. And if you're from La, you know,
Speaker 1: that's where all the best fruit stands are and the
Speaker 1: best tagos thing. So, but I yeah, it's the intersectionality.
Speaker 1: That's what it is, exactly what it is. It's like
Speaker 1: where all of these things meet, all the spaces in between,
Speaker 1: you know, And I think that's there's so much beauty
Speaker 1: in it. But I think unfortunately there's you know, systems
Speaker 1: that make us think that they're wrong, but in reality
Speaker 1: it's just an old programming that doesn't necessarily work anymore.
Speaker 1: And that's okay too, you know. And I love what
Speaker 1: you said about letting you know all the truths exist,
Speaker 1: because that's something that I think growing up I felt
Speaker 1: society tells you you how to think very black and white,
Speaker 1: and I'm like life is in color for a reason,
Speaker 1: you know, like we should be seeing life and color.
Speaker 1: There's so much going on around us, and I like
Speaker 1: to think that, you know, this vessel I'm very thankful for.
Speaker 1: I'm very thankful for the vessel that allows me to
Speaker 1: experience this life. But my spirit is so much bigger.
Speaker 1: My soul needs to expand, you know. And the same
Speaker 1: way we can experience such beauty, we can experience pain.
Speaker 1: And there's all these like opposites of everything, and then
Speaker 1: it's the spaces in between that kind of just tie
Speaker 1: it all together, you know. I love that there's purpose
Speaker 1: in that.
Speaker 2: How did you go about that journey of giving yourself
Speaker 2: permission to belong in both?
Speaker 3: It just it felt like I could only.
Speaker 1: Stay in that like uncomfortable position for so long. You know,
Speaker 1: you're sleeping on a plane, yeah, and you're so tired,
Speaker 1: like you will fall asleep anyway, But then there's like
Speaker 1: that half hour that goes by when you wake up
Speaker 1: and you're like, my leg is dead and I can't
Speaker 1: feel my neck and it hurts, and this is not
Speaker 1: like this isn't good. Quality sleep, like I can't wait
Speaker 1: until I get into my bed. Yeah, And I felt
Speaker 1: like I would feel that way sometimes, like I could
Speaker 1: stay here for just a little bit, you know, but
Speaker 1: it didn't feel very long lasting. And I think that
Speaker 1: there just comes a time where if you allow yourself to,
Speaker 1: like you said, give yourself permission to even just explore
Speaker 1: what could be on the other side, to explore that
Speaker 1: maybe I don't want to sleep on the plane, maybe
Speaker 1: I do want to sleep in my bed, and I
Speaker 1: can't right now, and that's okay, But I can't wait
Speaker 1: for the day, you know, or the time that comes
Speaker 1: and look forward to it. And so I would always
Speaker 1: look forward to the day that like I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: compared to like another artist that like literally looked nothing
Speaker 1: like me, spoke nothing like me, and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be them. I want to be Becky, you.
Speaker 4: Know, like.
Speaker 1: And I was so young, already feeling that way, growing
Speaker 1: up in this industry. And it was those boxes, man,
Speaker 1: it was those boxes that just like I knew I
Speaker 1: could check them. I knew I could check those boxes
Speaker 1: and make other people happy. But there came a point,
Speaker 1: I think when I decided honestly, to pursue singing Spanish
Speaker 1: music was that turning point for me, and it was
Speaker 1: it was because I was going to be facing my
Speaker 1: biggest fear, which was, Okay, well i am American and
Speaker 1: I've started a professional career singing music in English, but
Speaker 1: I've always repped my Latini dad. But now me singing
Speaker 1: in Spanish don't know if I'll be accepted there. And
Speaker 1: that was like really scary because the only real point
Speaker 1: of reference I had was the Queen Selina Quintania, who
Speaker 1: you know, unfortunately is no longer with us, and so
Speaker 1: I just remember being like there's a scene in the
Speaker 1: movie where her dad says, you have to be more
Speaker 1: Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans.
Speaker 1: It's exhausting, and he says it like that too, it's exhausting,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, your girls tired, man, I'm tired.
Speaker 1: Like I just want to be I just want to
Speaker 1: be who I am. And the truth is is, like
Speaker 1: I think, when you lean into the authenticity of just knowing,
Speaker 1: like I got to make myself happy and this really
Speaker 1: does make me happy, there's gotta be something on the
Speaker 1: other side of that. And little did I know I
Speaker 1: was gonna be confronted with so many other you know,
Speaker 1: obstacles in Latin culture that totally didn't want me to succeed,
Speaker 1: you know, the Machies mole that exists. The amount of times, know,
Speaker 1: the labels will say, you know, girls on sell tickets,
Speaker 1: they don't get played on the radio, all kinds of stuff,
Speaker 1: and I like to think, you know, we're here, we're
Speaker 1: doing it, so there must be something.
Speaker 2: Right, you know, doing a lot right? Yeah, a lot right.
Speaker 2: Tell me about that that fear that you had in
Speaker 2: terms of like, I've started my career singing in English
Speaker 2: now and moving over, will I be accepted? Yeah? And
Speaker 2: that fear is really displacing too again when you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm from here and I'm from there as well. What
Speaker 2: was it inside of you that pushed you to say
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this anyway? Like, what was it
Speaker 2: that gave you the courage and strength? Because I can
Speaker 2: imagine there's so many people who are listening and watching
Speaker 2: right now who are thinking, I don't want to do
Speaker 2: that because I don't want to be seen that way,
Speaker 2: or I don't want to do that because someone's going
Speaker 2: to put me in a box or someone's going to
Speaker 2: push me back. Like we all have these doubts in
Speaker 2: our own ways. What was it that helped you overcome
Speaker 2: that doubt?
Speaker 1: I think remembering what someone like Selena did for me
Speaker 1: and understanding that like like somebody's got to do it
Speaker 1: like and not like so I now I have to.
Speaker 1: It really came from a place of truly desiring and
Speaker 1: wanting to do that for myself because I know I
Speaker 1: deserved that space, and the same way I believe I
Speaker 1: deserve that space, I believe there's so many other talented
Speaker 1: young women that deserve that space. And so you know,
Speaker 1: brick by brick, and if I only bring one brick
Speaker 1: to this to this bridge, that's fine.
Speaker 4: So be it.
Speaker 1: But we need it. There isn't There's a need for this,
Speaker 1: and I want to be a part of that. And
Speaker 1: I think that was really inspiring for me to be
Speaker 1: able to like take agency in that way and know
Speaker 1: that there was a lot of like naysayers that were
Speaker 1: like not believing, but then also knowing like the same
Speaker 1: way I was in that nurturing household where I was
Speaker 1: allowed to be different, like we're going to keep building
Speaker 1: spaces like that, like we need that in the systems
Speaker 1: that are, you know, continuing because they're not sustainable. Somebody's
Speaker 1: got to shake it up. And so and I remember
Speaker 1: being a part of like specifically the Latin industry at
Speaker 1: that time, and I think it was my intersectionality that
Speaker 1: made it kind of less intimidating for me, because I
Speaker 1: was like, I know what it's like to not be
Speaker 1: accepted here, like because it happened on the other side.
Speaker 1: So there's nothing you can tell me here that I
Speaker 1: haven't already heard. You know.
Speaker 2: It's fascinating, isn't it That when you're young, you're forced
Speaker 2: to fit in, and then as you get older, it's
Speaker 2: all about how do you stand out?
Speaker 3: Yep?
Speaker 2: And it doesn't make any sense because it's so counterintuitive.
Speaker 2: Your whole life, you've been told stand in line, do
Speaker 2: as they do, do as I say, and everyone's told
Speaker 2: to conform. And as you get older, it's like, well,
Speaker 2: how do you brand yourself? How do you market yourself?
Speaker 2: What's unique about you? But you've been told to hide
Speaker 2: all of your uniqueness, all right, You've been told to
Speaker 2: hide all of it. So it's almost like we're trying
Speaker 2: to figure out what that uniqueness is I love your
Speaker 2: idea about or the vision that you just painted for
Speaker 2: all of us is like how we're all just laying
Speaker 2: another brick on the bridge. That's such a beautiful way
Speaker 2: to think about it. And I wonder how instrumental your
Speaker 2: grandfather was in this whole journey for you. I know
Speaker 2: that this album is inspired dedicated to and you sadly
Speaker 2: lost him a few years ago, But tell us a
Speaker 2: bit about why family has been so important to you,
Speaker 2: but particularly him, and I can see you taking it
Speaker 2: for those who are not watching. Yeah, big deep breasts
Speaker 2: from Becky.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I think it's because I mean to understand
Speaker 1: that we come from something so much bigger than us
Speaker 1: is so powerful, sometimes overwhelming, I think for a lot
Speaker 1: of us mixed ethnicity kids, because you know, we're not
Speaker 1: just walking into a room with our dreams. We're walking
Speaker 1: into a room with our dreams and then the dreams
Speaker 1: of the generations before. Not just into a room with
Speaker 1: our own sacrifices, but the sacrifices of those before. All
Speaker 1: of the stuff that you know can feel very heavy sometimes,
Speaker 1: but then those two truths can exist at the same
Speaker 1: time that I really here so strongly in the back
Speaker 1: of my subconscious, which is that it can be really heavy,
Speaker 1: but such an honor and there's a power in that
Speaker 1: to come from people who have had to make something
Speaker 1: out of nothing, and if they did, you can too.
Speaker 1: My grandfather, Miguel Gomez get his gun simpass. He is
Speaker 1: one of the greatest men I think I've ever gotten
Speaker 1: to know in this life. And I feel this way
Speaker 1: about all my grandparents. Like to have had all four
Speaker 1: of my grandparents so present in my life and to
Speaker 1: be a part of the village that raised me, you know,
Speaker 1: is such an honor to me. And when he passed away,
Speaker 1: and him being you know, my first grandparent, that that
Speaker 1: I lose, just that that thing that I hold on
Speaker 1: to is that although again his vessel may no longer
Speaker 1: be with me, that guidance, that that honor that it
Speaker 1: is to carry that that superpower with me is just
Speaker 1: it's so incredibly motivating and so inspirational, and I think
Speaker 1: there's there's a lot there that when I look back
Speaker 1: at it, you know, he was really a big part
Speaker 1: as to why I started pursuing this because a lot
Speaker 1: of my grandparents, I mean, they didn't finish their education,
Speaker 1: so they all started working very very young, and that
Speaker 1: was the social norm in Mexico, you know, in Mexico
Speaker 1: like that that was part of you know, part of
Speaker 1: what it was.
Speaker 3: You don't finish school, you work to help your family.
Speaker 1: Obviously, we live in America and there's such a thing
Speaker 1: as child labor law, so it wasn't the same thing
Speaker 1: for me. But the concept of being nine years old
Speaker 1: and working to provide for my family and going out
Speaker 1: in the streets and hustling like it didn't feel like
Speaker 1: a absolute no to me. It felt like, well, if
Speaker 1: they did it, I can do it too, you know.
Speaker 1: And to see everything that my grandparents have built, I mean,
Speaker 1: my grandmother talks about all the day, she says, he
Speaker 1: but like her little village. She's so thankful to God
Speaker 1: for her little village that she created, you know, with
Speaker 1: my grandpa. And it's just like, yeah, like y'all really
Speaker 1: did that, and we're all just this ever growing tree
Speaker 1: of and of those roots, you know, and so so yeah,
Speaker 1: he's he's with me every day.
Speaker 3: I feel it.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. Yeah, you can kind of see that energy
Speaker 2: coming through you right now as well. It's like it's
Speaker 2: evident that he has a place in your heart that's
Speaker 2: really deep and special and it must it must be
Speaker 2: so powerful to be able to use that to give
Speaker 2: back and to connect with people.
Speaker 1: Definitely.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think it's like it's their humanness, you know,
Speaker 1: it's seeing their old age, like even seeing like they
Speaker 1: once could and now they can't physically, but we can,
Speaker 1: you know, so like how do we carry that on?
Speaker 1: It's just it's it's so beautiful and so empowering and
Speaker 1: so just knowing that even when we're no longer here,
Speaker 1: like things stay, like there's an energy there that stays.
Speaker 1: There's something so meaningful and so purposeful to our every
Speaker 1: word and interaction shared. It's just like you want to
Speaker 1: live a life that is of substance, you know, Like
Speaker 1: I don't want to just lollygag and just you know,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe every now and then, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: but but no, I mean it in the way of
Speaker 1: just like even in the simplest of things, just like
Speaker 1: living in gratitude.
Speaker 2: Beggy, you grew up in the public eye, and you
Speaker 2: know you've grown up in the public eye too, And
Speaker 2: it's the idea of growing up, growing up, yeah, up,
Speaker 2: growing up, Yeah, growing up in the public eye. What
Speaker 2: would you say, have been the pros of that? Like
Speaker 2: what really great lessons have you kind of taken on,
Speaker 2: and what have been some of the challenges that you're
Speaker 2: still trying to figure out that you still feel you
Speaker 2: struggle with sometimes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's interesting. I don't think I saw
Speaker 1: many of the cons to it as a kid, because
Speaker 1: I was just like, wow, like this is so cool
Speaker 1: space to just be and be yourself. And then you
Speaker 1: don't really realize how you're exposing yourself, like beyond what
Speaker 1: then the average person like usually gets exposed to. And
Speaker 1: it's not just like the support, it's also the opposite
Speaker 1: of what support is, right, people having a thought and
Speaker 1: a say or an intention that isn't always positive against
Speaker 1: everything that you do. And it wasn't until you were
Speaker 1: like a teenager and you're getting made fun of for
Speaker 1: the way you dress or what your teeth look like
Speaker 1: or having acne or whatever, and you're like, wow, you're
Speaker 1: really wearing these things, like you're really wearing it. And
Speaker 1: then you know, on top of that, you're dealing with
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, I was dealing with, you know,
Speaker 1: the pressures to provide for my family, So like I'm
Speaker 1: really showing up as my best self because there's too
Speaker 1: much writing on the line.
Speaker 3: It's not just me, it's everybody who's walking in the
Speaker 3: room with me.
Speaker 1: So when you are kind of put in this place
Speaker 1: where you were, you feel almost attacked sometimes, or you know,
Speaker 1: you feel let down, You don't feel as supported as
Speaker 1: you thought you would. You start to question, like, oh,
Speaker 1: is this a safe space? Is this? Is this what
Speaker 1: it's supposed Is this what I signed up for? Because
Speaker 1: that's what everybody's telling me, this is what you signed
Speaker 1: up for, This is what you signed up for. And
Speaker 1: it's like, as I've continued to grow up in this space,
Speaker 1: I think the biggest lesson for me is just like
Speaker 1: maybe I'm.
Speaker 3: Not supposed to be like to by everybody.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's not the goal, you know, maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not supposed to be for everyone. Maybe I
Speaker 1: can be a little bit more sacred with my energy,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I don't have to be on social
Speaker 1: media twenty four to seven. You know, like, maybe I
Speaker 1: can remember that there's a real world out there with
Speaker 1: real people, and quality connection matters, not the quantity of
Speaker 1: connections I make. And so I think that like for me,
Speaker 1: going from literal baby Becky fourteen years old getting discovered
Speaker 1: on the Internet, to the twenty six year old that
Speaker 1: is still figuring out how to practice those boundaries every
Speaker 1: single day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the biggest takeaway for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that realization that we're not for everyone is
Speaker 2: really difficult to swallow because I feel like our whole
Speaker 2: life we've been trained to kind of be people who
Speaker 2: make everyone around us happy. We've been trained to be
Speaker 2: that way, conditioned, like we make people smile. Or you
Speaker 2: with the peace maker in your family, or you were
Speaker 2: the change maker in your family, or you with the
Speaker 2: person who kind of you know, communicated individually and mediated
Speaker 2: with your family, Like, we've all played roles, and most
Speaker 2: of those roles revolve around us being liked or doing
Speaker 2: things to be liked. And all of a sudden, you
Speaker 2: grow up, and especially if you have a large public platform,
Speaker 2: and even if you don't have a large public platform,
Speaker 2: just growing up, you go to work and you have family.
Speaker 1: It's crazy to I was literally gonna introduct right there
Speaker 1: to say you do not have to be someone with
Speaker 1: a platform like ours to know what this pressure is
Speaker 1: like today. Agree, And that actually makes me so fearful
Speaker 1: for the future generations because we are constantly comparing ourselves
Speaker 1: to everyone's greatest hits, and that is really really hard
Speaker 1: to leave any room, any space for grace, for growth,
Speaker 1: you know, because there's this fear, this fear of messing up,
Speaker 1: saying the wrong thing or whatever. And it's just like
Speaker 1: that's actually part of learning. We have to leave room
Speaker 1: to learn, and I think it's also learning that we
Speaker 1: can be something different. I was thinking about this the
Speaker 1: other day and I had a conversation with like a
Speaker 1: really close friend of mine about how it's wild to
Speaker 1: me that I've shared so much of my life on
Speaker 1: the internet since such a young age and because I
Speaker 1: shared that, you know, my favorite flavor of ice cream
Speaker 1: seven years ago was chocolate, that someone can come across
Speaker 1: that today and be like, oh, she's a chocolate ice
Speaker 1: cream loving girly and like.
Speaker 5: Little do they know, like I don't really like ice
Speaker 5: cream anymore, but like I don't even have a favorite
Speaker 5: flavor actually for for frozen yogurts, you know, and there's
Speaker 5: like seven years but because someone can come across that,
Speaker 5: you know today, it can be like, no, that's who
Speaker 5: she is, and.
Speaker 3: Unless it's documented, you can't tell me any different, you know.
Speaker 1: But it's like I think it's leaving space that like
Speaker 1: I can change my mind. I mean, I could love live,
Speaker 1: scream tomorrow who knows, you know, and that's totally possible.
Speaker 1: But on a deeper level, it's interesting you were saying something.
Speaker 1: There's a book that I read called The Family on Bradshaw,
Speaker 1: and it really blew my mind about the rigid roles
Speaker 1: that we play in like family systems, and we find
Speaker 1: so much purpose in that, but then we get so
Speaker 1: attached to what that role is to forget that, like
Speaker 1: we have.
Speaker 3: To go out into the world and like learn more,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: Like it terrifies me sometimes when I think about that,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I've lived so much life in
Speaker 1: my twenty six years, and I'm like.
Speaker 3: Wait, there's more.
Speaker 1: You're telling me there's more. I should be inspired and
Speaker 1: excited at that idea, and a part of me is,
Speaker 1: but then there's another part of me that's absolutely terrified,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think it's again leaving room for
Speaker 1: those two truths to exist. And usually when it's terrifying,
Speaker 1: I think it's because it's right for you, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it's supposed to be scary, like
Speaker 1: just at least just a little bit to like ignite
Speaker 1: that thing in you that really like catches your soul
Speaker 1: on fire and says I was made for this.
Speaker 3: You know, and I'm so happy that I did it.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how hard was it for you? You just talked
Speaker 2: about there where you're like, maybe I want to be
Speaker 2: someone who experiences the real world. Maybe I do want
Speaker 2: to switch up from social media, like as a public figure,
Speaker 2: and even in our friend circles, like I remember when
Speaker 2: I quit drinking alcohol and when I went back to
Speaker 2: my friend group that was used to me drinking alcohol
Speaker 2: and being a certain person at the party and now
Speaker 2: I don't. It was a complete switch. I wasn't I
Speaker 2: didn't have a public platform, I wasn't known. But even
Speaker 2: in my group or my community, it was like, wait
Speaker 2: a minute, Jay, have you changed right? Or when I
Speaker 2: stopped doing certain things and when I started doing certain things.
Speaker 2: We all go through these like identity deaths of who
Speaker 2: we were and who we wanted to be to who
Speaker 2: we are today. And when you're trying to make a
Speaker 2: transition like not being as active on social media or
Speaker 2: you're trying to make it transition of I don't go
Speaker 2: to those places anymore. Whatever it may be, I feel
Speaker 2: we all go through this moment of identity shifts, and
Speaker 2: it sounds like you've had to do that too. What
Speaker 2: has helped you make those as smooth as they can be,
Speaker 2: or what has happened when you've made those shifts and
Speaker 2: what have you.
Speaker 1: Dealt with I'm laughing because Jay, it's so not smooth,
Speaker 1: like it's so rough out here. It's very new for me.
Speaker 1: It is so new. I have lived more of my
Speaker 1: life this way than I have practicing trying something new.
Speaker 1: But it makes me very proud of myself to know
Speaker 1: that I can look at myself every day in the
Speaker 1: mirror and say, I know it's going to be really hard,
Speaker 1: and it's going to be challenging, and there's going to
Speaker 1: be things that trigger a response from you. Maybe that
Speaker 1: you are that is second nature. We are going to
Speaker 1: take time to process. We're gonna add some filters in
Speaker 1: your process that are better for you, because there's better
Speaker 1: ways to deal with things. There's better ways than having
Speaker 1: to just like promote your pain. You know, somebody the
Speaker 1: other day is so funny. Somebody the other day mentioned
Speaker 1: to be like, what's up with all these young kids
Speaker 1: posting videos of themselves crying on the internet, and I said,
Speaker 1: first of all, that's really mean, because literally, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe they're seeking for connection. And second of all, I've
Speaker 1: totally done that, damn it. I'm guilty. I'm so guilty
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 3: But are there times where I wish I didn't?
Speaker 1: Absolutely because maybe not everybody needed to see that. I
Speaker 1: wanted to be seen so badly. But who am I
Speaker 1: seeking that from? Why am I seeking that from the
Speaker 1: world when maybe it's really within myself? And so that
Speaker 1: daily practice for me is still very new, but it's
Speaker 1: doing things differently, willing to what's that saying, you won't
Speaker 1: You got to be willing to do something you've never
Speaker 1: done in order to get the result you've never had, Right,
Speaker 1: And so if I want to be the healthiest version
Speaker 1: of myself, I have to be willing to look at
Speaker 1: my daily routines mentally routine, the mental routines that I have,
Speaker 1: the spiritual routines that I have, the physical routines that
Speaker 1: I have, and really just be honest with myself and
Speaker 1: am I setting myself up for success? You know? And
Speaker 1: there's been hard times, like people very.
Speaker 3: Close to me will be like, Bee, we had this conversation.
Speaker 1: We've had this conversation, and they very lovingly hold space
Speaker 1: for me to come back around and be like you're right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're so right, you know. But it's like just understanding
Speaker 1: that we are constantly, always in process.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's walk through some of those actually, because
Speaker 2: we love doing that on purpose. You mentioned mental, spiritual,
Speaker 2: and physical routines. Let's talk about some of the Let's
Speaker 2: start with the mental routines. What are some daily routines
Speaker 2: or habits or practices that you've been working on.
Speaker 3: Okay, so shout out to my therapist because she's taught.
Speaker 1: Me the three legs.
Speaker 2: Therapists, I love me too.
Speaker 1: Oh they keep it real, that's for sure. But the
Speaker 1: three legged table is the mind, body, soul. And if
Speaker 1: it's a table that needs to work right, it needs
Speaker 1: to hold things on top of it. If one of
Speaker 1: the tables is a little wobbly, or one of the
Speaker 1: tables the legs break, it can't it can't fulfill its
Speaker 1: purpose right, what it's intended for. And so I am
Speaker 1: very much so a mind, body, soul kind of person.
Speaker 1: And I think for me, if we're starting with the
Speaker 1: mind just like not being on my phone the first
Speaker 1: moments that I wake up in the morning, I didn't
Speaker 1: realize like how second nature it was. Like even just
Speaker 1: having like a separate alarm clock outside of my phone.
Speaker 2: Very new for me.
Speaker 1: Actually just started practicing that I do a social media
Speaker 1: detox once a month, so like there's I'll literally delete
Speaker 1: the apps from my phone completely and.
Speaker 2: It's the best for how long?
Speaker 3: For how long I do at least seven days constantly?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, also very new, but it's working. Highly recommend
Speaker 1: And I don't say these things to like knock anybody,
Speaker 1: because there's some people I know that can, like very
Speaker 1: much so be on these platforms and like are so
Speaker 1: unphased by it, and it's great for them, and I
Speaker 1: love that for them. But I know myself and I'm
Speaker 1: very very sensitive. So kind of just just practicing those
Speaker 1: things has been super helpful for me on the on
Speaker 1: the mental side. And then I would say on the
Speaker 1: spiritual side, meditating has done so much for me, Like
Speaker 1: meditation and prayer. I think just believing and having faith
Speaker 1: in something that is greater than you is always helpful,
Speaker 1: you know. I think it's really hard to trust something
Speaker 1: that you can't see that you can't physically feel or touch,
Speaker 1: but there's also something very magical when you tap into that.
Speaker 1: And there's been moments where my day will be so
Speaker 1: crazy and I, you know, this is constantly trying to
Speaker 1: find time. How do we reset the mind? How do
Speaker 1: we reprogram? And I just think to myself, even after
Speaker 1: ten minutes of meditation, there's another version of me on
Speaker 1: the other side of that that.
Speaker 3: Will be so much better, so much capable.
Speaker 1: What part of me can't give myself ten minutes today
Speaker 1: like that that spiritual like tapp in and like recentering
Speaker 1: for me is.
Speaker 3: Special sauce.
Speaker 2: And what type of meditation is that for you?
Speaker 1: What I did? Meditation still for me because we've got
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts these days, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: hard to silence them. But uh, it's sometimes.
Speaker 3: Twice a day, you know.
Speaker 1: I try to do it twice a day, definitely in
Speaker 1: the morning or sometimes when I'm in the sauna, like
Speaker 1: post workout, to kind of just really be in my
Speaker 1: body and then uh, and then at night. And I
Speaker 1: also do uh do you know Wim Hoffs, Yeah, of course, yeah.
Speaker 2: On the show.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, another person I would like absolutely geek
Speaker 1: out to meet. But honestly, that that whole routine for me,
Speaker 1: even like before shows, just really relaxes the nervous system
Speaker 1: on that breath hold. There's like a spiritual feeling that
Speaker 1: I have, and sometimes I'll play like frequency during and
Speaker 1: it just like there's moments where I'm like, oh my God,
Speaker 1: I'm totally coming out of my body right now and
Speaker 1: this is so nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what about prayer.
Speaker 1: You mentioned prayer there, Yes, Yeah, prayer is super important.
Speaker 1: It's funny, I grew up in a very religious household.
Speaker 1: I'm very Mexican in that sense. My grandmothers are very Catholic,
Speaker 1: and I'm much more spiritual than religious, i'd say, but
Speaker 1: I think seeing them in their dedication, seeing them in
Speaker 1: their practice was like very inspiring to me when I
Speaker 1: was younger, and also the communal aspect of it too,
Speaker 1: Like getting to pray with my grandmothers growing up is
Speaker 1: something very sacred to me. And I just think that, yeah,
Speaker 1: when I pray and I surrender, like like going like
Speaker 1: God is like I.
Speaker 3: Literally have it tattooed.
Speaker 1: Because it's important to know that you can't control everything.
Speaker 1: You just can't. You can control what you do, how
Speaker 1: you react to what's going on around you. But you
Speaker 1: can't actually control everything that's happening around you, and I
Speaker 1: struggle with that on a daily basis.
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Speaker 2: use the code on purpose. Those are beautiful routines. That's
Speaker 2: mental and spiritual. What about physical?
Speaker 1: There's not a version of me before this. I'd say
Speaker 1: age that would say I love being in the gym.
Speaker 1: I love working out so much the point where I'm like,
Speaker 1: maybe I should prioritize sleep a little bit more than
Speaker 1: the gym.
Speaker 3: But good sleep, good diet, Jim.
Speaker 1: Like feeling strong physically and knowing that I'm taking care
Speaker 1: of my body again, like the vessel needs to be
Speaker 1: safe and it needs to be protected and provided for,
Speaker 1: and so I try.
Speaker 3: My absolute best.
Speaker 1: But even in that sense, it's like, you know, not
Speaker 1: that my indulgence self takes over, but like enjoying the
Speaker 1: little things in life, like the balance, you know, like
Speaker 1: I love food, so the balance of that is like,
Speaker 1: go burn it off in the gym, girl, and you'll
Speaker 1: be just fine.
Speaker 2: I love that. No, And it's so beautiful that you're
Speaker 2: thinking about your life as those three legs to the
Speaker 2: table or the stool in your life, because it is
Speaker 2: so interesting to me about how as soon as you
Speaker 2: take your eye off of one of them, how much
Speaker 2: harder everything else becomes. And yet when those three things
Speaker 2: are good, like you said, they can carry the weight
Speaker 2: even if it's getting really really heavy. Yeah, you still
Speaker 2: have this fighting chance almost. And I guess the thing
Speaker 2: that I found that has really helped me in that
Speaker 2: regard as well is making sure that I'm not trying
Speaker 2: to solve all three at the same time. It's almost
Speaker 2: like one at a time. Like I remember, I always
Speaker 2: had my spiritual practice, and then I added my mental practice,
Speaker 2: and then I added my physical practice. And for me,
Speaker 2: that order worked really well. Whereas when you're trying to
Speaker 2: all three at the same time, then too, it's almost
Speaker 2: like saying, if you're putting a table together using your analogy,
Speaker 2: you can't put all three legs on at the same time.
Speaker 2: It just doesn't work that way. You got to put
Speaker 2: one improperly. Then the other one, and then the other one.
Speaker 2: I want to go back to something you said earlier.
Speaker 2: You talked about the need for quality connections instead of
Speaker 2: quantity connections. What is Beckyg's definition of a quality connection?
Speaker 2: How do you view your quality connection?
Speaker 1: You know, I think it's it's when I feel safe
Speaker 1: in a room to be my true authentic self. And
Speaker 1: there's ways that my body used to tell me that that,
Speaker 1: like this isn't authentic, Like there's something about this that
Speaker 1: doesn't feel right, and I would stay in the room
Speaker 1: because you're scared of how that might come off, or again,
Speaker 1: the people pleasing tendencies totally start to come through. Right
Speaker 1: I'm a performer by nature at this point because I've
Speaker 1: been doing this for longer than I've ever not been
Speaker 1: doing it. But I think it was just really understanding,
Speaker 1: man Like, it feels really good when I can just
Speaker 1: show up in me and when I'm trying to be
Speaker 1: my authentic self. Sometimes there's a little fumbling that happens,
Speaker 1: or just sometimes it flows. Like right now, this feels
Speaker 1: like a quality connection. It's just flowing. I'm not really
Speaker 1: thinking about what could be said or what could be
Speaker 1: felt and how that might come off. And that feels
Speaker 1: to me again aside from the universe and really affirms
Speaker 1: that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And so
Speaker 1: when I have those feelings that feel very affirmed in
Speaker 1: a moment, that is quality connection.
Speaker 3: And it might be with the stranger.
Speaker 1: There's been times where, like, I mean, man, I'd be
Speaker 1: at the airport sometimes just killing time because I'm totally
Speaker 1: like my grandparents. I don't want to be late for
Speaker 1: a fight or something, and I'm just talking to like
Speaker 1: the person behind the bar and just like, how's your
Speaker 1: day today, And I walk away like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Johnny was so sweet. I want to go to his
Speaker 1: mom's pizza shop. Like, next time I'm in the city,
Speaker 1: I'm coming. Because there's like a true connection that's being made.
Speaker 1: And I think what we celebrate today is like followers,
Speaker 1: Like how many fun followers you have? How many numbers
Speaker 1: you have streaming this? And it's like that I think
Speaker 1: is amazing when you're thinking from a business aspect, But
Speaker 1: even then, truly like people want to support something that
Speaker 1: is real. I want to support something that is real,
Speaker 1: whether it be in my friendships, whether it be with
Speaker 1: my family, with my team, with my fans and so, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd say that's what it is.
Speaker 3: It's like that authenticity. I could feel it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's really interesting, right. You said that we
Speaker 2: almost all have an inner compass or an inner dial
Speaker 2: that tells us whether something feels authentic and aligned or
Speaker 2: it doesn't, but we tend to ignore it sometimes because
Speaker 2: of our people pleasing tendencies or whatever it may have been.
Speaker 2: When is the time in your life where you feel
Speaker 2: like you've ignored it and it's misled you or it's
Speaker 2: led you away from feeling how you feel now where
Speaker 2: you feel safe in yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely feel so re on like certain career
Speaker 1: moments where it was very easy for me to let
Speaker 1: other people make decisions for me, and then and then
Speaker 1: when it wouldn't work, be like.
Speaker 3: Oh I should have said something, you know, Oh why
Speaker 3: didn't I say?
Speaker 1: Oh? But there wasn't enough time. There just wasn't enough time.
Speaker 1: We just and realizing, like, man, I spent some key
Speaker 1: pivotal moments in my career feeling like I was being
Speaker 1: far more reactive to what was happening than like proactive
Speaker 1: and setting myself up to like fully be present, you know,
Speaker 1: And I look back at it, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: very proud of myself for having made it through those moments.
Speaker 1: But like there was moments where and this is like
Speaker 1: even deeper on like the the experiences I used to
Speaker 1: have with like anxiety and panic attacks. You know, I
Speaker 1: didn't know that that was like my body physically telling
Speaker 1: me something's wrong, Like you're not okay. But because you're
Speaker 1: scared to let other people down, you're scared of what
Speaker 1: other people might say, you push through anyways. And I realize,
Speaker 1: like just because you can doesn't mean you should. And
Speaker 1: I think that that's one of my most valuable lessons
Speaker 1: for sure, because there was I mean many moments before
Speaker 1: going on to a stage, and I mean we're talking
Speaker 1: full blown tears. Can't breathe if you've had a panic attack,
Speaker 1: you know, the world is ending. And there's also this
Speaker 1: like subconscious part of you that's like, girl, breathe, just breathe.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what this is, you know, but
Speaker 1: your nervous system can't tell the difference between like the
Speaker 1: mental bear and the.
Speaker 3: Real bear that's in the room.
Speaker 1: And there's no bears in the room, so like chill axe,
Speaker 1: it's okay, you know, Yeah, just being really young and
Speaker 1: in really high stress situations, Like you know, you're everybody's boss,
Speaker 1: but technically everybody's older than you, and it's just such
Speaker 1: an interesting dynamic to have grown up in. And so
Speaker 1: I think that that has been the most valuable lesson
Speaker 1: for me up until this point. You know, just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good advice. Yeah, well said when you were
Speaker 2: talking about people pleasing there, and that naturally happens in
Speaker 2: environments where like you said, even though you're at the boss,
Speaker 2: everyone's older than you. It's natural to want to please
Speaker 2: our elders in the same way as we try to
Speaker 2: please our parents and our family. And I know you've
Speaker 2: worked a lot on therapy, and that's an area of
Speaker 2: your life you've invested in deeply. How is therapy or
Speaker 2: what work have you done in therapy that's helped you
Speaker 2: identify your people pleasing tendencies and allow you to start
Speaker 2: reframing and reshaping them, Because I think so many of
Speaker 2: us often works so hard at pleasing people that we
Speaker 2: end up displeasing and disconnecting from ourselves, and we don't
Speaker 2: realize that in the attempt to make someone else happy,
Speaker 2: We're making ourselves more unhappy and miserable, and the other
Speaker 2: person's not happy either because they can tell that it's
Speaker 2: not coming from an authentic, genuine place. It's just coming
Speaker 2: from a place of like, I don't want to cause
Speaker 2: any trouble. So what's some of the work that you've done,
Speaker 2: or what's some of the lessons that you've been able
Speaker 2: to illuminate about your triggers and where they come from
Speaker 2: and reframing how do people how to move away from people? Please?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, like I said, it's definitely like a daily
Speaker 1: practice for me. But I think a lot of the
Speaker 1: first I would say, like the first two years of
Speaker 1: therapy for me were very reactive to what was happening
Speaker 1: in real time. It wasn't really comfortable with the idea
Speaker 1: of shining a spotlight on what the root cause of
Speaker 1: anything was.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: It was very ambiguous in the sense of like it's
Speaker 1: got to be this, this, this, because this happened. And
Speaker 1: so going back to the reactiveness of the first two
Speaker 1: years for me is funny because yeah, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of small fires that I had to put out
Speaker 1: in that moment. It was a very high stress time
Speaker 1: in my career in my personal life when I had
Speaker 1: first started therapy. But I think when I really surrendered
Speaker 1: to the fact that this goes so much deeper than
Speaker 1: just what's happening around me, but it's like how I
Speaker 1: exist in all of it, Like that is when I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, this cis goes a lot deeper.
Speaker 3: And a lot of it is you know, childhood stuff.
Speaker 1: And when I think about, you know, a big part
Speaker 1: of my childhood was also shared in an industry that
Speaker 1: you know, my parents were very very young. They knew
Speaker 1: nothing about it, like quite literally, and even then I
Speaker 1: like to think I came out kind of okay, but
Speaker 1: you know, like they they couldn't really protect me from
Speaker 1: much when it came to that stuff. And then the
Speaker 1: fact that they were young parents when they got married
Speaker 1: and had children, like they were babies raising babies, and
Speaker 1: so there was a lot of things I had to
Speaker 1: like learn from myself and teach for myself.
Speaker 3: And so I think having a lot more empathy for
Speaker 3: myself was.
Speaker 1: Like a big step in therapy because it was hard
Speaker 1: for me to accept the fact that I went without
Speaker 1: things like what do you meet?
Speaker 3: But we tried our best, but.
Speaker 1: We did what we had to do.
Speaker 3: I did what I had to do.
Speaker 1: There was just so much resistance to the fact that
Speaker 1: I still didn't get what I really need. And so
Speaker 1: I think when you can just come from that space
Speaker 1: of empathy and compassion for yourself that like everybody really
Speaker 1: was trying, You really were trying, and it still came
Speaker 1: out a little short. But hey, it's not too late,
Speaker 1: like you can still learn. You can still learn, you know,
Speaker 1: And and that was like I would say, yeah, third
Speaker 1: year of therapy, and that's crazy, because you're right, it's
Speaker 1: an investment. And even then, I mean some of the
Speaker 1: types of work that I do, you know, I think
Speaker 1: when you take inventory on your life, you know, like
Speaker 1: really taking inventory on what your relationships with the people
Speaker 1: around you in your life look like and felt like
Speaker 1: from the moment you were born till this current day,
Speaker 1: inventory on memories, you know, experiences that you've had and
Speaker 1: your recollections of them, and then also kind of revisiting
Speaker 1: those with those people and being like, hey, what was
Speaker 1: your experience like in this. You know, it's the trippiest
Speaker 1: thing for me and my siblings because I'm like, we
Speaker 1: that has had the same parents, grow up with the
Speaker 1: same four walls around us, and we're all so different
Speaker 1: and we all process so different, right, So going back
Speaker 1: to even the deeper level of compassionate empathy holding space
Speaker 1: for each other in that way so beautiful. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: didn't get to really doing that until we went into
Speaker 1: family therapy together. So thankful for the resource and opportunity
Speaker 1: to do that, because there's there's a lot of times
Speaker 1: where I'm like, man, like we things could have gone
Speaker 1: one or another way, and we kept choosing, you know, family,
Speaker 1: and we got to a point where like choosing family
Speaker 1: this ride or die.
Speaker 3: Mentality of like oh, you know, like why do we
Speaker 3: have to ride or die?
Speaker 1: Why can't we just be? You know, like nobody's going
Speaker 1: to ask that question. And I was the big sister
Speaker 1: who was like, you know, parentified, So I was like
Speaker 1: I'm their parent, there am I? And They're like, we
Speaker 1: just want you to be our big sister. We don't
Speaker 1: need you to be our mom or our dad. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean I have to be?
Speaker 1: It was like all those rigid roles and stuff. So
Speaker 1: taking inventory was super helpful for me.
Speaker 3: Gave me so much perspective.
Speaker 1: And then recently I started doing like parts work which
Speaker 1: we're talking about all the parts, you know, like, Oh,
Speaker 1: there's a part of me that's still a child. I'm
Speaker 1: still freaking afraid of the dark. I the amount of
Speaker 1: times I travel and I'm alone in my hotel room
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm gonna sleep with the TV on
Speaker 1: just so it feels like somebody's here because it's a
Speaker 1: little scary in here. That's a part of me, you know,
Speaker 1: that's a part of me that's still trying to figure
Speaker 1: things out, still feels a little lonely, that stuffels a
Speaker 1: little lost. There's the boss part of me that feels
Speaker 1: super empowered and feels like such a visionary over the
Speaker 1: career that I've built for myself and excited to like
Speaker 1: continue to attack these like parts of the industry that
Speaker 1: quite literally need to just be broken down, you know,
Speaker 1: so more more of me can get in there. When
Speaker 1: I say more of me, I mean other powerful women
Speaker 1: who have you know, so much talent and so much
Speaker 1: just to offer in these spaces.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's beautiful. I love the parts work.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, And it's so beautiful to hear someone talk
Speaker 2: about it so thoroughly and thoughtfully. And I think when
Speaker 2: you can articulate something effectively, it means you're more likely
Speaker 2: to be able to process it out here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, when you can the feeling part yea though,
Speaker 1: that's that's the other part, because I really I learned
Speaker 1: this from myself. It's like, Becket, you're really good at
Speaker 1: intellectualizing your feelings, but do you feel them? Cue the tears,
Speaker 1: Like I on purpose sometimes have to like get myself
Speaker 1: to that space to release because the body keeps count.
Speaker 1: The body keeps score of all of what you go through,
Speaker 1: so you can be like, yeah, I was really stressed.
Speaker 1: I was really if you don't allow your body to
Speaker 1: feel it somatically, like, that's the other thing that for me,
Speaker 1: I think I find myself like that was the manifestation
Speaker 1: of the panic attacks and things like that, Like, oh right,
Speaker 1: anxiety depression. They're not the diagnosis, they're the result of
Speaker 1: That was like whoa big knowledge for me because I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, I just have anxiety depression and
Speaker 1: it's normal, Like I just have patic attacks all the time.
Speaker 1: Like no, your body is telling you something, you are
Speaker 1: processing something that you aren't letting your body feel.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: It's again a hard reality because allowing yourself to feel
Speaker 2: it again. Is it almost goes back to that giving permission,
Speaker 2: just giving ourselves permission to feel, giving ourselves permission to
Speaker 2: process something, giving ourselves permission to allow for this paradox
Speaker 2: to exist. When was the last time you cried this morning? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I'm not crying right now. No, truly,
Speaker 1: truthfully speaking, it was this morning. It's such a stressful time,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's a time where I feel like
Speaker 1: in my career it's funny to me. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can walk off a stage and feel like, oh I
Speaker 1: want to do that all over again, and then leading
Speaker 1: up to a performance, I'm like, why do I do
Speaker 1: this to myself? This is torturous? And I never but
Speaker 1: I like to think that I always regret not working out.
Speaker 1: I never regret the workout, And so I tried to
Speaker 1: think about that way in my life, like, oh, I
Speaker 1: gotta do hard thing.
Speaker 3: I was designed to do hard things, you know.
Speaker 1: But even then, acknowledging that it's hard is super important
Speaker 1: because then you can have that compassion and empathy for yourself.
Speaker 3: But if you don't acknowledge that it can you very challenging.
Speaker 1: You're not going to leave any room for that compassion
Speaker 1: and that empathy that you need to have for yourself
Speaker 1: in order to do those hard things. And so, yeah,
Speaker 1: your girl was crying. It was a full moon, it
Speaker 1: was it was all kinds of things, but it was good.
Speaker 1: It was a good cry. Like it's not always like
Speaker 1: a sad cry. Sometimes it's like a release, like a
Speaker 1: sense of relief, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really interesting that if someone's natural reaction to
Speaker 2: something was to laugh, we'd see that as normal, But
Speaker 2: when someone's natural reaction to something is to cry, we
Speaker 2: see that as wrong.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Or it's like stop crying, everything will be okay. We'd
Speaker 2: never say someone stop laughing, everything will be okay, right,
Speaker 2: or everything is okay. Like, it's really interesting to me
Speaker 2: which emotions we allow for in society and which emotions
Speaker 2: we try and block others and ourselves from having. And
Speaker 2: I find that the more we try and stop others
Speaker 2: from having a certain emotion, it's usually because we blocked
Speaker 2: that in ourselves for a long long time. And I
Speaker 2: love that you cried this morning, and that that was
Speaker 2: a release for you and it is helpful for you
Speaker 2: and it's powerful. Yeah, I think it's And I'm so
Speaker 2: glad you shared that with us today as well, because
Speaker 2: at the moment, we're experiencing a really vibrant, abundant with
Speaker 2: your frequency. And the interesting thing is when you were crying,
Speaker 2: you were still vibrant and abundant, Like we shouldn't see
Speaker 2: that as not that right just because it looks different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, And I think it's like it goes back
Speaker 1: to like those core those core emotions, you know, really understanding,
Speaker 1: like again, what are the symptoms of those core emotions
Speaker 1: And when I'm feeling this anxiety, when I'm feeling is
Speaker 1: it coming from a place of fear? And do I
Speaker 1: just need to talk about it? Or am I experienced
Speaker 1: such a great joy that my body really doesn't know
Speaker 1: how to receive this right now, you know? Or am
Speaker 1: I experiencing both because there's two things going on at
Speaker 1: the same time. And I think it's doing that that
Speaker 1: check in with yourself is super important making time for it,
Speaker 1: you know, Like I genuinely made time to cry today,
Speaker 1: and I'm very proud that I did that because I
Speaker 1: would be crying right now, which would have been totally
Speaker 1: fine as well. But uh, but I think it's also
Speaker 1: such a it's such a sacred practice for me, not crying,
Speaker 1: but just checking in with myself that to be able
Speaker 1: to know how to do that and support myself in
Speaker 1: that way instead of seeking it again in a space
Speaker 1: of validation when it feels too late and more reactive
Speaker 1: or from people who maybe don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1: For me, it feels empowering to know, oh, I got me,
Speaker 1: I always got me, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean if we could all just feel like
Speaker 2: I've always got me.
Speaker 1: And we don't all the time. Like I said, it's
Speaker 1: it's a it's a it's a daily practice to make
Speaker 1: that effort. And even then I fall short, you know,
Speaker 1: I've fallen traded in for friends and family members of mine,
Speaker 1: and I think that's that's when our human really shows,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's that window of tolerance and we
Speaker 1: can try to expand it as much as possible, but
Speaker 1: there's it's still a window, you know, Like it's still
Speaker 1: a window, and some days it's this big, and some
Speaker 1: days I could be this big, And so it's just
Speaker 1: like acknowledging and then expressing that too, just letting your hey,
Speaker 1: my windows, my.
Speaker 3: Wind does really small.
Speaker 1: Same it's Becky's size, or sometimes it's just like my
Speaker 1: window is big. We could fit a whole house to
Speaker 1: that thing. You know, everybody, come on in. It's nice
Speaker 1: to just be able to vibe check like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's that daily as you use the word inventory,
Speaker 2: that daily check in of like where am I at?
Speaker 2: How am I feeling? What can I offer? Is today
Speaker 2: a internal day or an external day?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: I do that all the time too. There are certain
Speaker 2: days where I can literally be there for anyone and everyone,
Speaker 2: and I am this outward person, and then there are
Speaker 2: days where I just want to be alone and be
Speaker 2: in silence and stillness and being able to accept that
Speaker 2: they're both one and the same thing. Yes, that one
Speaker 2: is not a better expression of me and one is
Speaker 2: not a worse expression of me. I think we live
Speaker 2: in this world of what's right and wrong and better?
Speaker 3: Ye I can't.
Speaker 1: That's what I mean about the black and white thinking
Speaker 1: that I was talking about earlier. And uh, what's that story?
Speaker 1: There's a story about the man and he says, well,
Speaker 1: we'll just have to wait and see.
Speaker 3: Basically, I'm totally.
Speaker 1: Is. He's like a father and his son and this
Speaker 1: thing happens and then they're like, oh, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: and he's like, well, we'll see, you know, we'll see.
Speaker 1: And it actually, you know, there's so many things that
Speaker 1: you think are a bad thing, right quote unquote, bad
Speaker 1: things that are happening, but in reality it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: And uh and then maybe maybe it turns out to
Speaker 1: not be a good thing, and you just never know,
Speaker 1: you know. But I like to think, uh that everything
Speaker 1: happens for you, not to you, Like that is my
Speaker 1: that is my my mojo. These days, everything is happening
Speaker 1: for me, not to me. And it's interesting how you're
Speaker 1: the way you exist in those spaces will actually shift
Speaker 1: because you realize.
Speaker 3: Oh, this is in my favor.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to learn something from this, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to like gain something from this. And that's why
Speaker 1: the whole concept of failure and success, like navigating this
Speaker 1: industry is in such a young age.
Speaker 3: There's songs of mine.
Speaker 1: That I love that I thought deserved to be the
Speaker 1: number one song and they're probably like the lowest streaming whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, but it's like, what it means to me
Speaker 1: is a win, Like that is a success to me,
Speaker 1: that's not a failure, you know. And so is like
Speaker 1: redefining what success means to you, redefining what greatness is.
Speaker 1: It's redefining what all of the stuff that life has
Speaker 1: to offer, and saying no, this is happening for me,
Speaker 1: not to me, for me, I just think it's so yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for anyone who's wondering. The story that Becky was
Speaker 2: referring to, which please encapsulated that point. It's a beautiful
Speaker 2: zend story about a man and his son, and the
Speaker 2: man buys his son a horse. Well, actually, his son
Speaker 2: finds a horse, I believe, and comes home riding this
Speaker 2: beautiful horse, and all the villagers are like, wow, this
Speaker 2: is amazing, Like he's just so incredible that he could
Speaker 2: tame this wild horse. And now he's riding in. Look
Speaker 2: how elegant it is. And the man said the father says,
Speaker 2: good thing, bad thing? Who knows? Or maybe let's see.
Speaker 2: And then the next thing that happens is that the
Speaker 2: son's riding the horse, and then he gets thrown off
Speaker 2: the horse. And when he gets thrown off the horse,
Speaker 2: his leg gets fractured and he has to have on
Speaker 2: operation and surgery and whatever else, and everyone in the
Speaker 2: village is like, oh my god, this is the worst
Speaker 2: thing that's ever happened. Oh no, oh no, oh no,
Speaker 2: and the man says good thing, bad thing, who knows?
Speaker 2: Or maybe let's see. And then after that they come
Speaker 2: and recruit everyone in the village to join the army
Speaker 2: because they've got to defend themselves. But this guy can't go,
Speaker 2: and everyone's like, you're so lucky your son's not going
Speaker 2: because his leg's broken. All of our sons have gone,
Speaker 2: We're going to miss them. And the man says good thing,
Speaker 2: bad thing, who knows, or maybe let's see, And it
Speaker 2: continues that way that it's and it's really hard in
Speaker 2: the moment to live that way because when it feels like,
Speaker 2: because our mind has been trained in that good and bad,
Speaker 2: when something bad is happening, it feels like nothing good
Speaker 2: can come from it. And the interesting thing is when
Speaker 2: something good happens, we're also equally convinced nothing bad can
Speaker 2: come from this. And the truth is those two moments
Speaker 2: can switch so quickly, and I've been at the intersection
Speaker 2: of both of them in my life, and I've just
Speaker 2: found that not seeing things as good or bad, but
Speaker 2: seeing them as just learning and lessons and healing and growth,
Speaker 2: and what you just said which is that it's all
Speaker 2: about what's happening for us. If we can just live
Speaker 2: in that way, it's better than the dichotomy of good
Speaker 2: and bad, positive and negative.
Speaker 3: Oh Jay, shutty ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1: Na I just yeah, yeah, I mean, you definitely told
Speaker 1: the story better than either. I'm no, but I really
Speaker 1: appreciate you going into that that much detail, because I
Speaker 1: think that is I wish that for the future generations
Speaker 1: to really know that, to really know that there is
Speaker 1: no such thing as good or bad. There's just you
Speaker 1: just doing what you can do for yourself whatever that
Speaker 1: looks like, you know. And unfortunately, I think what happens
Speaker 1: for a lot of youth that grows up in you know,
Speaker 1: communities like the ones I grew up in, it's like
Speaker 1: we're doing a lot of things that we were never taught,
Speaker 1: you know, like we're doing a lot of things that
Speaker 1: we were never taught, and so there's a lot of
Speaker 1: like self doubt that creeps in.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of shame that creeps in.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of oh, you know, do I trust
Speaker 1: myself or do I just stay where I'm comfortable, And
Speaker 1: it's just like, nah, just just do the best that
Speaker 1: you can whatever that looks like, just do the best
Speaker 1: that you can, you know, And I feel proud that
Speaker 1: there's moments in my life that I can look back
Speaker 1: and say, wow, I really I really showed.
Speaker 3: Up for myself, you know, the best way I knew
Speaker 3: how to.
Speaker 1: Maybe would look a little different today, but even then,
Speaker 1: like very proud, nonetheless, And so yeah, I hope that
Speaker 1: for the future generations that they leave room for themselves
Speaker 1: to know that good thing, bad thing. I don't know,
Speaker 1: guess we'll see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you know it's you know what's
Speaker 2: really interesting back Yeah, obviously I went. So I went
Speaker 2: on tour for the first time this year my book.
Speaker 1: It was what you just did.
Speaker 2: It was hard and grueling and exhausting and at the
Speaker 2: same time the most fulfilling, beautiful, powerful thing we did.
Speaker 2: I think it was around just under forty cities across
Speaker 2: the world, and it was insane as an experience, and
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful I did it. But I couldn't do
Speaker 2: anything else but that for the time that I was out.
Speaker 2: I think overall we did that in like eighty days,
Speaker 2: all of that, and it was it was a lot
Speaker 2: of travel and everything else, but I was obviously touring
Speaker 2: for my book Eight Rules of Love, and it was
Speaker 2: really interesting to me because there were there were lots
Speaker 2: of moments. So the difference about for those of you
Speaker 2: who came to my show you already know, but it
Speaker 2: wasn't a speech or a lecture. It was truly like
Speaker 2: a social experiment where I would take people up from
Speaker 2: the audience. People would be in uncomfortable situations, that'd be humor.
Speaker 2: There were moments where people were sharing their story with
Speaker 2: the entire you know, thousands of people in the room.
Speaker 2: I was really moving. And there was one area where
Speaker 2: we've really focused a lot on, and it was this
Speaker 2: idea of how the biggest space we lose ourselves is
Speaker 2: often in romantic relationships, and romantic relationships tend to be
Speaker 2: the relationships where we invest the most of us and
Speaker 2: often find that we leave feeling the most broken or
Speaker 2: hurt or whatever it may have been. And I wanted
Speaker 2: to ask you, like, how have you looked at healing
Speaker 2: through romantic relationships that you've had. We've talked a lot
Speaker 2: about platonic friendship, family, and life, but romantic relationships tend
Speaker 2: to affect us deeper. I don't know if you agree
Speaker 2: with that or feel that way, but yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean I'm a sucker for love.
Speaker 2: I love much so much.
Speaker 1: I'm excited to talk about this with you because I
Speaker 1: know you are, and I think for me, it's it
Speaker 1: doesn't get any closer to your heart than that. You know,
Speaker 1: this is the type of experience that isn't uh, that's
Speaker 1: actually chosen. You're not born into, you know, you're not
Speaker 1: placed into.
Speaker 3: This is a space of choice.
Speaker 1: I enjoy this person, I enjoy the time that's spent
Speaker 1: with this person, and I think that there's so much
Speaker 1: to be revealed in a dynamic like that about yourself,
Speaker 1: and you don't realize it because sometimes you're so focused
Speaker 1: on the other person on the other side that when
Speaker 1: you realize, like, oh, this is actually about me too,
Speaker 1: you know, it's as close.
Speaker 3: To your heart as it gets.
Speaker 1: And I think my healing in that is the deepest
Speaker 1: it's gotten of how do I exist in these spaces,
Speaker 1: you know, the self accountability part, the self reflective part
Speaker 1: of like what part of me shows up in these
Speaker 1: spaces and going to the parts work and stuff that
Speaker 1: I've done in therapy. It's just like, yeah, it's powerful.
Speaker 1: It's as I think it's it's as powerful as I
Speaker 1: could ever get.
Speaker 2: Because it's the most revealing of wekness, of.
Speaker 1: Your weaknesses, yeah, and your vulnerabilities and and all of
Speaker 1: that stuff, and also maybe not your weaknesses, but also
Speaker 1: your strengths. You know, it can show you, like just
Speaker 1: how strong you are, how giving you can be to someone,
Speaker 1: finding parts of yourself that you didn't know existed. You know.
Speaker 1: I think it's a very inspiring space to be in.
Speaker 1: I was talking, I was to say, talk about this
Speaker 1: with a friend, but funny enough is somebody who also
Speaker 1: works in the industry, and she goes, oh, Amiga. I
Speaker 1: used to be told all the time that I'm so
Speaker 1: unlucky in love, and I beg the tof I've been
Speaker 1: so lucky in love, and I'm like, it's that that
Speaker 1: change of mindset of knowing that, like everything is happening
Speaker 1: for us, not to us. And I think that when
Speaker 1: I think of my journey of healing and relationships, you know,
Speaker 1: some of my earliest relationships and how I existed in them,
Speaker 1: and then the ones that I've had in like my
Speaker 1: my you know, teenage years, young adult years, and how
Speaker 1: they evolve and how you change so much, so much.
Speaker 2: What have you turned to that you'd encourage other people
Speaker 2: to turn to find that strength within themselves and that
Speaker 2: connection with themselves when it almost feels like the foundations
Speaker 2: are broken, like those three legs are just destroyed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, are the three legs actually destroyed? I think
Speaker 1: it's like again, it's an opportunity to reflect inward what
Speaker 1: is real, what is not real, and going back to
Speaker 1: like what's happening in the real world versus what's happening
Speaker 1: which happening on social media. It's not always reflective of
Speaker 1: the same thing, you know, and one's experience, and something
Speaker 1: can be so different than someone else's, But leaving room
Speaker 1: for yours is super important. And then also being selective
Speaker 1: and who you share that with because it is such
Speaker 1: a sacred thing, you know. And I think that's been
Speaker 1: one of the most revealing things for me in this
Speaker 1: you know, chapter of my life is like who do
Speaker 1: I share with with every thing? Who do I share with?
Speaker 1: Who deserves to be in these spaces with me.
Speaker 4: In my pain, in my peak, in my process, all
Speaker 4: of those things, like I deserve to have filters, I
Speaker 4: deserve to hold space, I deserve.
Speaker 3: To just be and not have to explain, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think being a person who's grown up on
Speaker 1: social media, there has been so many times in my
Speaker 1: life where I've just been like no, no, and then
Speaker 1: what you say, how you say it, who said it,
Speaker 1: always gets mixed up, always gets used against you in
Speaker 1: some shape or form. And I think for me, it's
Speaker 1: just like no, I'm good because my three legs are
Speaker 1: They're good, they've been solidified, they're being catered to, they're
Speaker 1: being taken care of, and and so my table was standing,
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm proud of that, very proud of that.
Speaker 2: To me, it's really powerful what you just said now
Speaker 2: around the idea of we get so lost in a
Speaker 2: conversation that's happening outside of us that isn't actually reality,
Speaker 2: and so almost we're looking at the wrong things, we're
Speaker 2: arguing about the wrong things, where internally having a debate
Speaker 2: about something that isn't the thing. I actually had a
Speaker 2: friend I was talking to a week ago and we
Speaker 2: were discussing, you know, he's been going through some stuff
Speaker 2: and there was someone in his life that he had
Speaker 2: some rightful animosity towards right like it would be okay
Speaker 2: for him to feel this certain way about it, and
Speaker 2: I was asking him what was the big win and
Speaker 2: what was the ego win? And I was asking, like,
Speaker 2: what is really the win in this situation? And he
Speaker 2: was saying, the win in this situation is that my
Speaker 2: family member can move on from what they've been going through.
Speaker 2: And I said, what's the ego win? And the ego
Speaker 2: win was that person's life is ruined, right, the other
Speaker 2: person that they were mad at. Yeah, And it was
Speaker 2: really interesting, like just looking at it from that perspective
Speaker 2: of like it's natural to have the ego win become
Speaker 2: strong in a situation. But then when you look at
Speaker 2: the bigger picture and you zoom out, you're like, oh, actually,
Speaker 2: now when I make sense of this, that actually is
Speaker 2: irrelevant to what I really care about. Does that make
Speaker 2: any sense?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And so I think, to me, it's I'm always reflecting
Speaker 2: on that, like what's my ego win in this scenario
Speaker 2: and what's the bigger win in this scenario? And that
Speaker 2: only comes when you take a step back and what
Speaker 2: you said, you look at the reality and you look
Speaker 2: at the filter that you just talked about. To me,
Speaker 2: that's the biggest one. And I love how you said.
Speaker 2: It wasn't just about the pains. It was the peaks
Speaker 2: it pa. That's so well said. Who's the first person
Speaker 2: you want to call when you win? And who's the
Speaker 2: first person you call when you want to lose? Yeah,
Speaker 2: And there's a filter to that.
Speaker 1: There's a filter to that on what the qualifications of someone,
Speaker 1: anyone in any way that comes into your space. And
Speaker 1: I think, going again, I'm so crazy. Everything goes back
Speaker 1: to my childhood of just.
Speaker 3: Being like giving, giving, giving, giving, When do you take.
Speaker 1: And not take just to take, I mean like receive,
Speaker 1: you know, like that to me is like the thing
Speaker 1: to really be just thoughtful about. And so those filters
Speaker 1: are again constantly being reevaluated for me. And that's why
Speaker 1: I say growing up. I'm not grown up.
Speaker 3: I'm growing up.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you know the same way I felt this.
Speaker 1: I felt such a strong sense of self at sixteen,
Speaker 1: and I look back at her and I'm like, you
Speaker 1: better give me some of that. Girlfriend. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that was or what you was on, but you were.
Speaker 1: You were locked in but also not aware of what
Speaker 1: was really out there in the world. And so you
Speaker 1: go out in the world and you see what's out there,
Speaker 1: and you're learning and you're adapting and you're taking all
Speaker 1: these things in and things start to feel a little different.
Speaker 1: Your surroundings, your circumstances, they all shift. And then you
Speaker 1: know that this is how I feel at twenty six
Speaker 1: whouse you say, I'm not gonna feel any different one
Speaker 1: I'm thirty six, you know, and then forty six and
Speaker 1: so on, And so I think just like leaving room
Speaker 1: again for that, like that humanness and that being in
Speaker 1: process and the filters, you know, like not the filters
Speaker 1: we see on social media, but the real filters that matter.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: We can't just be drinking any water.
Speaker 1: You can't just drink any You think you're really sick
Speaker 1: by drinking just any water, you know. But if also
Speaker 1: if you just drink only purified water, you're not getting
Speaker 1: the minerals that you need. You're not getting you know,
Speaker 1: So you can't you can't be too guarded, yeah, because
Speaker 1: then that's a very lonely space to live in, you know,
Speaker 1: to have these walls that no one could ever get through.
Speaker 1: But if you have no walls, you have no no boundaries,
Speaker 1: no anything, and everyone and anyone can come in whenever
Speaker 1: they want to. I don't think that's a way to
Speaker 1: live life either, you know. So I like to think
Speaker 1: of the house that I was born into had no roof. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe some of the doors were a little funky.
Speaker 1: There's no locks on the doors, and the windows are
Speaker 1: a little broken, but there because of time where you
Speaker 1: grow up and you can say, I don't have to
Speaker 1: live in this house anymore. I can go build a
Speaker 1: new house. I can build my own house where the
Speaker 1: windows I can open and close them as I want
Speaker 1: to check the blinds or let in the light. There's
Speaker 1: locks on my doors. I can let people in and
Speaker 1: share in my space and share a meal with them,
Speaker 1: and even if they'd like to move into my house,
Speaker 1: because I'd choose for them to be in that house. Beautiful.
Speaker 1: But also there's locks on my doors, so not just
Speaker 1: anybody can come into my house, you know, knowing that,
Speaker 1: knowing that I've provided a roof over my head, that yeah,
Speaker 1: if it rains, we're good, We're fine, you know, can
Speaker 1: it can come crashing down and I will be safe.
Speaker 3: I think that's that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Like we're all building our own houses that look very
Speaker 1: different than the houses we grew up in.
Speaker 2: That is so powerful. Becky gus up and shoulder.
Speaker 1: That was like, thank you.
Speaker 2: That was no, that was so powerful, Like I love
Speaker 2: that analogy. It's so it's so true. There are some
Speaker 2: people you only meet in restaurants. There are some people
Speaker 2: who make it to the porch of the front door.
Speaker 2: There are some people who make it inside to the
Speaker 2: living room. There are some people who you'll cook a
Speaker 2: meal for, some people just order in for. And there's
Speaker 2: some people who not everyone's allowed into your private spaces,
Speaker 2: your bedroom, you know. Like I think for people to
Speaker 2: know that they can set how intimate they want to
Speaker 2: be with different people and that there isn't a policy
Speaker 2: that exists outside of that. It's something you have to
Speaker 2: set for yourself. Is such an important thing to remind
Speaker 2: people because I think people feel forced through stages, they
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable through the different steps. And for you, I mean,
Speaker 2: you just referred to the home. I was wondering. I
Speaker 2: think it was. Was it when you were nine years
Speaker 2: old that the home you grew up in?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I was I was.
Speaker 1: It didn't burn down. So the economy at the time
Speaker 1: was just it was a very scary time. There was
Speaker 1: a recession happening, and I just think that you know,
Speaker 1: at the time, my parents were so young, they had
Speaker 1: no idea they were first time homeowners, no idea really
Speaker 1: what type of mortgage they had gotten, you know, committed.
Speaker 3: To, and you hope for the best, but not necessarily
Speaker 3: prepared for the worst, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's one of those things where I think, I mean,
Speaker 1: thank God for our families that we had, like this
Speaker 1: family support that we had, because we lost everything.
Speaker 3: We lost our home.
Speaker 1: I went from having like my my first own bedroom.
Speaker 1: Like most of most of my life I shared. Up
Speaker 1: until that point, i'd shared a bedroom with my siblings,
Speaker 1: all three of them, and so I remember this house
Speaker 1: that we were living in. It was the first year
Speaker 1: I had ever had my own room, and I was
Speaker 1: so excited. I was like, this is what Lizzie McGuire has.
Speaker 1: This is what like all the girls on Disney Town.
Speaker 1: They get to put posters up on their wall and
Speaker 1: they get to like, you know, rhinestone their closets and whatever.
Speaker 1: And I just remember like being so excited about moving
Speaker 1: into that house, and then when we lost it, just
Speaker 1: feeling like, oh that that didn't last for very long.
Speaker 1: I think like subconsciously that started something in my mind
Speaker 1: that felt like, oh, when you have good things, they
Speaker 1: go away. Nothing lasts forever, so don't hold onto it
Speaker 1: too tight. And I'm thankful for like the flexibility that
Speaker 1: that gave me in life, but it also makes me
Speaker 1: very sad for my younger self that really believed that
Speaker 1: everything good that happened to me came with a really
Speaker 1: hard price to pay, you know. So like, if you
Speaker 1: have good things, oh, you got to be ready, got
Speaker 1: to be ready for something that, you know, for the
Speaker 1: shoot to drop. And so we moved into my grandparents
Speaker 1: convert a garage in Englewood where I was born, and
Speaker 1: it was a garage, I would say the size of
Speaker 1: the studio actually, and it was all six of us,
Speaker 1: my mom, my dad, my two brothers, and my sister,
Speaker 1: and there was bunk beds. I slept on the bottom
Speaker 1: bunk with my sister my brother's up top, and my
Speaker 1: parents on the food ton bed that you know, they
Speaker 1: would make a couch during the day so we'd have
Speaker 1: a little bit more room. And we had a pop
Speaker 1: up table from Ikia that I would do my homework
Speaker 1: on and eat my cereal that was the knockoff brand
Speaker 1: of Cocoa.
Speaker 3: Puffs, not the real one.
Speaker 1: All to fast forward to the day that I decided,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to do this. I was obsessed with,
Speaker 1: which is really funny to me. I mentioned Lizzie Maguire
Speaker 1: blonde white girl. I mentioned I was obsessed with Shirley Temple,
Speaker 1: young blonde white girl. I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning,
Speaker 1: blonde white girl. I don't know what it was, but
Speaker 1: it was something about how young they were and how
Speaker 1: like empowered they were, and they were doing these like
Speaker 1: very adult things, you know, they were like they were
Speaker 1: the heroes of the stories that they were doing and acting,
Speaker 1: and I just remember thinking like, oh, I want to
Speaker 1: do that, like I want to and I'm shout out
Speaker 1: to the internet. I go on Google and I look
Speaker 1: up like what do you need to do? Or who
Speaker 1: represents Dakota Fanning and all these things like how do
Speaker 1: you become an actress? And my first agency that I
Speaker 1: signed with at nine years old was OSBURNK Agency. Shout
Speaker 1: out to my first agents, and at the time, they
Speaker 1: were representing Dakota Fanning and I did not know what
Speaker 1: the heck of monologue was. I didn't know what headshots were,
Speaker 1: I didn't know any of that was.
Speaker 3: But I just knew I really wanted to learn. I
Speaker 3: really wanted to do this.
Speaker 1: And a huge shout out to my parents too, because
Speaker 1: again they knew nothing about this. They had three other kids,
Speaker 1: you know, to take care of too, and the drive
Speaker 1: from Inglewood to Hollywood is you know, with traffic especially,
Speaker 1: it is not very close. LA County's big. But they
Speaker 1: really supported me through that, and I have like a
Speaker 1: little like I printed out a little contract to my
Speaker 1: parents and I said, give me six months, just six months,
Speaker 1: and if nothing, yeah, if nothing happens, then like okay,
Speaker 1: like you know, that's fine, Like I'll leave it alone.
Speaker 1: What pretend it's never happened, or we can renegotiate our terms. Now,
Speaker 1: we can't renegotiate our terms after six months if all
Speaker 1: goes well. And yeah, going back to just like that instinct,
Speaker 1: that agency, that empowerment that I felt to just like
Speaker 1: to do this thing that no one in my family
Speaker 1: had ever done.
Speaker 3: Like there was really no point of reference.
Speaker 1: And I'm glad I did it because I look back
Speaker 1: at the garage, which is like still a real place
Speaker 1: where my family still lives. You know, there's there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things up there. My grandma has a couple
Speaker 1: of like little shrine things of like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm my grandma. This isn't a museum. There's people walking
Speaker 1: by the house like is this the house?
Speaker 2: The fack you lived there?
Speaker 1: My Grandma's like absolutely, I'm no very sacred space. Oh
Speaker 1: but yeah. It's like it's crazy to like look back
Speaker 1: at and think like this is you know, this is
Speaker 1: where it all started. Fire within me that felt like no,
Speaker 1: I can really do this, Like let's let's try this.
Speaker 2: That's so spectacular. That's special. That's special. How so many
Speaker 2: big dreams start from so many small places and small
Speaker 2: places within us too.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: And I was going to ask you that, like, how
Speaker 2: have you now that you're building this new home that
Speaker 2: as windows that work and as doors that have locks?
Speaker 2: What's changed about how you decide and define how someone
Speaker 2: gets to get closer to you and and connected to you? Like,
Speaker 2: what has changed? What is evolved? What have you learned
Speaker 2: growing up about who you allow close?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think it's like again it comes back to
Speaker 1: knowing not anything has to be concrete. You know, you
Speaker 1: can you can vibe with people, you can enjoy beautiful
Speaker 1: moments with people. And then and then the moment that
Speaker 1: something doesn't feel right, you can speak to that, and
Speaker 1: everything is always to me, always owe to conversation. You know,
Speaker 1: I've had friendships in my life that just in all honesty,
Speaker 1: I outgrew and there's all love and it was a conversation.
Speaker 3: And it's sometimes that's simple.
Speaker 1: But I think it's just like leaving room for that growth,
Speaker 1: just like it's gonna change. That's the point, Like we grow,
Speaker 1: like we change. Going back to the ice cream seven
Speaker 1: years ago, it was chocolate, today is frozen yogurt. You
Speaker 1: I'll again, but you know, like you're literally like you're
Speaker 1: even your physical body changes, why wouldn't our minds and
Speaker 1: our hearts also expand and change in those ways too?
Speaker 1: You know. So I think it's like and it's not
Speaker 1: just in the way that I hope to be received
Speaker 1: by other people, but it's just it's also like or
Speaker 1: like how I hold space for other people, it's also
Speaker 1: like being around people who hold that same space for me.
Speaker 1: You know, Like I think understanding that these are like
Speaker 1: mutual spaces, right, like powering when you're like, oh this
Speaker 1: is a choice, Yeah, Like I get to choose to
Speaker 1: be here. You got to choose to be here like
Speaker 1: and we're here together like that to me has been
Speaker 1: the most beautiful part of my like evolution and healing.
Speaker 3: It's like man like when I go.
Speaker 1: On tour, my fans buy their tickets because they chose
Speaker 1: to be there, like you know, the same way I
Speaker 1: chose to walk onto that stage. Like, let's not rob
Speaker 1: ourselves of that like empowerment, that agency that we have
Speaker 1: over our lives to decide to choose what's good for you,
Speaker 1: what's best for you, what motivates you, what inspires you,
Speaker 1: and that can be the bad things, that could be
Speaker 1: the hard things, that could be the because there's no
Speaker 1: such thing as good bad whatever, you know, it's it.
Speaker 2: Just is, you know when I'm speaking to you. And
Speaker 2: I love this and I love it when I get
Speaker 2: to experience it in someone because I think it's quite rare.
Speaker 2: But you just have such a like strong spirit of
Speaker 2: just like positivity mindset, like obviously you're working on all
Speaker 2: of these things as we've been talking about today, and
Speaker 2: I love seeing it be so tough in someone. Not
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that, of course, like you said you
Speaker 2: cried this morning, I'm not saying without I'm actually more
Speaker 2: tough I'm not saying tough in the sense that there
Speaker 2: isn't any pain or stress, of course, And to me,
Speaker 2: the display of to yourself of pain is even tougher
Speaker 2: to be able to admit to yourself that, hey, I'm
Speaker 2: working on this stuff. How have you stayed so open
Speaker 2: to that mindset of trust and forgiveness for yourself and
Speaker 2: others when it almost seems like there's so many reasons
Speaker 2: to not be that way.
Speaker 1: If that makes sense, well, I think it's just going
Speaker 1: back to like it makes it makes it easier for
Speaker 1: our human mind to see things in black and white, right,
Speaker 1: it makes our life easier, But actually it doesn't. I
Speaker 1: feel like it cuts a short from the experience that
Speaker 1: we're supposed to have. Like I believe in karmic energy.
Speaker 1: I believe that like we are here for reason, you know,
Speaker 1: there's there's We're here on purpose. There's a purpose to
Speaker 1: our pain, to our our our happiness, to our greatest joys,
Speaker 1: to our anger. There's purpose to all of it. And
Speaker 1: so I think just like really allowing yourself to be
Speaker 1: open to it is is where I think I find it.
Speaker 1: It's like it is that story of the father and
Speaker 1: his son, Like I don't think that there's these practices
Speaker 1: that have been around for like generations and generations and decades,
Speaker 1: you know, to think that, like, yeah, it's just a
Speaker 1: bunch of helps focus, you know, Like I just don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Like I think that's why I
Speaker 1: have a hard time trusting like the power of technology.
Speaker 1: Sometimes that's a whole other conversation. It's like, hasn't been
Speaker 1: around long enough for me to really understand what this
Speaker 1: is and what it's capable of and the impacts that
Speaker 1: it has. Like I said on on the Future generations,
Speaker 1: like it is, it's in timidating, and I think, but
Speaker 1: you got to be open to it because if it
Speaker 1: cuts our processing time, you know, by half, and our
Speaker 1: kids can learn more, that's that's great.
Speaker 3: But I believe in balance.
Speaker 1: I believe that we need balance as human beings, and
Speaker 1: I think that there's just so much more to this
Speaker 1: life than just being like, well I don't like you.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, well maybe there's something in that person
Speaker 1: that you don't like that actually reflects something that you
Speaker 1: don't like about yourself. But you're not ready for that conversation.
Speaker 1: You know, some people just aren't, And that's totally fine.
Speaker 3: But I am that person like put yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: I really do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I sense that I could tell that,
Speaker 2: and it's it's it's fun to watch. I think it's
Speaker 2: it's really meaningful to see it in someone. You've talked
Speaker 2: about having guardian angels m hm, And I want to
Speaker 2: ask you when do you feel most connected to your
Speaker 2: guardian angels?
Speaker 1: Oh? Ah, I feel like my faith journey is very
Speaker 1: interesting because it was something that I was introduced to
Speaker 1: again out of very very young age, because I grew
Speaker 1: up in a very religious family. My mom was kind
Speaker 1: of the one to break that up for us, which
Speaker 1: I'm very thankful for because it allowed me the opportunity
Speaker 1: to kind of find it on my own instead of
Speaker 1: it be something.
Speaker 3: That was forced.
Speaker 1: Because like my mom, I remember many times she'd tell
Speaker 1: me stories.
Speaker 3: You know, your grandma would just call us in.
Speaker 1: We'd be like playing outside, having the time of our lives.
Speaker 1: She's like, kids don't even play outside anymore, you know,
Speaker 1: but here here there we were like playing outside and
Speaker 1: my mom would make us come inside and pray the Rosary,
Speaker 1: and we'd be like a get come on, grandma, come on, mom,
Speaker 1: you know, and what I loved is Like as a kid,
Speaker 1: I would have so many questions, Like I'd tell my mom, like,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes when I was little, this is very funny.
Speaker 1: My grandma would sometimes be like kind of insinuate, like oh,
Speaker 1: you know, people don't go to church or like they're
Speaker 1: on the bad list, the naughty list, right, and and
Speaker 1: so my mom would be like, you know how Grandma
Speaker 1: is you know, we're gonna go to the Jocito's house,
Speaker 1: you know, which was like to go to church. We're
Speaker 1: gonna go to the Oscetho. So I'm like, why doesn't
Speaker 1: Joctho I'm not our house, Like why can't he come
Speaker 1: to our house? Like what's this concept of ice having
Speaker 1: to go to him? Why can't he come to us?
Speaker 1: Like challenging these things all the time, and I just
Speaker 1: remember just thinking like no, spirituality is a mutual connection
Speaker 1: with sores with greater source. And for me, my connection
Speaker 1: with God is just like yeah, like he loves me regardless.
Speaker 1: There's times where I pray and I mean some of
Speaker 1: the stuff that I share, I'm just like, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, you know what I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: and I think that that's like I love that for me,
Speaker 1: that I was able to discover that faith and I
Speaker 1: feel so protected and some of the moments that are
Speaker 1: so simple, you know. I mean not just like in
Speaker 1: my moments of deep like confusion or like pain, when
Speaker 1: I am challenged to like surrender that control right when
Speaker 1: I say I practice like go let God, but even
Speaker 1: just like when I'm by myself in my house, like
Speaker 1: making my coffee and I'm playing like I don't know,
Speaker 1: a certain song will come on, like on my playlist,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, that's my Grandma. I know it
Speaker 1: like I know it, you know. Or today A big
Speaker 1: thing for me is is dragonflies. I have a dragonfly
Speaker 1: tattoo and they definitely represent something very significant for me.
Speaker 1: And I mean for months now on the way here,
Speaker 1: dragonflies beautiful, isn't fine?
Speaker 2: Like I love that it's beautiful, and it's wonderful to
Speaker 2: have these notes and signs and you know, moments that
Speaker 2: make us feel aligned. We all need them in some capacity,
Speaker 2: and I think we all look for them because we're
Speaker 2: all trying to feel connected to something higher and bigger
Speaker 2: and more powerful than ourselves, whatever it may be, whether
Speaker 2: it's in the world or whether it's beyond, and it's
Speaker 2: it's nice thing about your spiritual journey and how it's
Speaker 2: evolved because it is so personal, and there's a beautiful
Speaker 2: there's a beautiful statement. I believe it's I believe it
Speaker 2: was said by David Lynch and he said that prayer
Speaker 2: is you talking to God, and meditation is God talking
Speaker 2: to you. And I've always loved that that idea of
Speaker 2: the God of God, universe, whatever you call it. But
Speaker 2: the idea that prayer is when you're speaking, in meditation
Speaker 2: is when you're listening. Yes, and that communication is mutual.
Speaker 2: As you said, it's this two way connection. It's not
Speaker 2: a one way as it's often portrayed or comes across.
Speaker 2: And I really find that as well, that sometimes my
Speaker 2: job is to stop talking and just to listen, yep.
Speaker 2: And so often we're just talking too much. You're trying
Speaker 2: to figure it all out or problem solving, and that
Speaker 2: listening ability is so lost in the art of communication.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's that's why I said, you know, everything
Speaker 1: is always a conversation. I think that's how we should
Speaker 1: look at even things I can't talk back to me.
Speaker 1: My dogs that live in my mom's house, you know
Speaker 1: all that. I love them so much. There is a
Speaker 1: mutual love. They can't necessarily talk back to me, but
Speaker 1: I listen. I take the time to like connect with them,
Speaker 1: you know. But I think it's about being that type
Speaker 1: of you know, intentional type of person. I guess when
Speaker 1: when you're having these daily practices. And that's why I
Speaker 1: think when I like meditate, like there was like a shift.
Speaker 1: Instead of saying, like what do I want? What do
Speaker 1: I feel right now, it's like what do you want?
Speaker 3: Like it's serve you have to ask.
Speaker 1: You're subconscious, you have to bring parts of yourself forward,
Speaker 1: you know, to really receive what that is because our
Speaker 1: psyche is like it's crazy.
Speaker 3: There's certain things.
Speaker 1: That I've unpacked in therapy.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I didn't even remember that that happened, you.
Speaker 1: Know, Like and it's it's because our minds are very powerful.
Speaker 1: Our minds were designed to protect us, right, Like our
Speaker 1: human body wants to survive and avoid death at all costs,
Speaker 1: but our spirit needs death. Our spirit needs death. The
Speaker 1: thing of giving up something to then have a rebirth
Speaker 1: of something else to gain something else, Like you have
Speaker 1: to be willing to do that, you know, Like there's
Speaker 1: so many parts of myself that I think, you know,
Speaker 1: I have kind of like resolved with and it's beautiful
Speaker 1: to look back at, like that's that skin that I
Speaker 1: needed to shed.
Speaker 3: That's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: But there's like, you know, parts in that that probably
Speaker 1: people I grew up with, people that knew me to
Speaker 1: be a certain way that was more beneficial for them,
Speaker 1: would probably be like she changed. Yeah, Like no, I did.
Speaker 1: I actually did. I did change, you know, And I
Speaker 1: don't think that's a bad thing. So it's funny how, yeah,
Speaker 1: spirit can need something different than like what our body
Speaker 1: is like designed for and you're like, no, no, it's
Speaker 1: not the literal thing. It's it's the shedding, you know,
Speaker 1: it's the shedding that needs to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Becky, it's been such a joy talking to you today,
Speaker 2: and I'm so glad that we've finally connected in this way.
Speaker 2: We've got to share your abundant, energetic spirit with everyone
Speaker 2: through this so much episode, and I'm hoping that everyone
Speaker 2: who listens to it can kind of, you know, walk
Speaker 2: away feeling that positive energy through your voice, through your
Speaker 2: energy into them as well, because I really feel like
Speaker 2: it's come across from me too. You just yeah, you
Speaker 2: just have this spark and I'm hoping that everyone today
Speaker 2: got to feel a bit of it. But we end
Speaker 2: every on Purpose episode with our final five, which is
Speaker 2: a question that has to be answered in one word
Speaker 2: to one sentence maximum. So Becky g these are your
Speaker 2: final five. The first question is what is the best
Speaker 2: advice you've ever heard or received?
Speaker 1: You miss one hundred percent of the shots you never take.
Speaker 1: I think that's one sentence, right, Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: Really be one word that was no, no, no, one
Speaker 2: word to one sentence is fine. Question number two, what
Speaker 2: is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm that positive, Patty. I'm like even
Speaker 1: those negative things, they're a positive thing.
Speaker 4: Ah.
Speaker 1: I would say, just make sure you really think about it.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you could overthink it. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I would say. Just make sure you really think about it,
Speaker 1: really think about what you're saying, or really think about
Speaker 1: you know what it is that you're asking for. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I trust my gut. I'd say probably that's the words
Speaker 1: of guys.
Speaker 3: You should really think about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, got it. Question on the three, what is something
Speaker 2: you're currently trying to unlearn?
Speaker 3: Definitely, people pleasing.
Speaker 2: What's the hardest part about giving it up?
Speaker 1: Ah, it's just second nature. You don't even realize like
Speaker 1: how you practice that on a daily basis, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I said, growing up in this industry, just I
Speaker 1: feel like there's a lot of child stars that are
Speaker 1: set up to not be very successful as adults who
Speaker 1: are trying to take agency over their own life. And
Speaker 1: so just knowing that, like, your feelings matter, how you
Speaker 1: feel matters, and also not everybody needs to participate in that.
Speaker 2: And that even if you spend your whole life trying
Speaker 2: to please everyone, chances are that will still be upset
Speaker 2: with you for something else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and again maybe it has more to do with
Speaker 1: them than it does you.
Speaker 3: So totally yeah, great, all right.
Speaker 2: Question number four, what's something that you used to value
Speaker 2: that isn't important anymore?
Speaker 1: I would say, like the optics, the optics of what
Speaker 1: it is to like be in, like the limelight, like
Speaker 1: going back to like that thing that like, oh everybody
Speaker 1: needs to like you and like you know, you got
Speaker 1: to you got to feed the beast or whatever. I
Speaker 1: don't think I really value that anymore. I value like,
Speaker 1: my my personal piece more than anything else.
Speaker 2: I like that yeah, beautiful. Fifth and final question, if
Speaker 2: you could create one law that everyone in the world
Speaker 2: had to follow, what would it be, Oh.
Speaker 1: That everybody practiced and had access to some form of therapy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd love to be able to help that happened.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, the access to to resource I think is
Speaker 1: very crucial. But I think I would make that like immediate,
Speaker 1: like starting today, sign on the dotted line, like I
Speaker 1: think we all deserve safe spaces.
Speaker 3: I don't think we have enough of them.
Speaker 2: Well said Becky. Gee everyone, Thank you so much, Becky
Speaker 2: for having so much presence, openness, vulnerability with us here
Speaker 2: today and everyone who's been listening and watching. Make sure
Speaker 2: you tag me and Becky with your favorite moments. I
Speaker 2: love seeing what stuck with you, maybe what's helped you,
Speaker 2: Maybe something you're going to pass on to a friend
Speaker 2: because you know they need to hear it. I know,
Speaker 2: Becky and I would love to see that. Please make
Speaker 2: sure you do that. And Becky, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: I can't wait favor to go and stream thanscuse us
Speaker 2: right now. It's available if you're listening right now, you
Speaker 2: can go stream right right now. So go to everywhere
Speaker 2: you listen to music. And go and listen in. But
Speaker 2: thank you so much, Becky, thank you.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate you so much.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. If you love this episode, you'll
Speaker 2: really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your
Speaker 2: inner critique and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
Speaker 1: My fears are only going to continue to show me
Speaker 1: what I'm capable of.
Speaker 4: The more that I face my fears, the more that
Speaker 4: I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I
Speaker 4: just want to keep doing that.