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Speaker 1: Hoping and we talk back where we encourage you to

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Speaker 1: hustle hard, laugh, laughter, and always keep it cute. So

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Speaker 1: grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about to

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Speaker 1: go down.

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Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 2: talks back.

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? Let's your girl? A j holiday? What's up? Team? Damn?

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Speaker 1: But you ain't know who you was?

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Speaker 2: Just now, I ain't.

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Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out, like how we starting? Okay? Whatever,

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Speaker 1: what's up y'all? Hey y'all, I love y'all. What's again

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Speaker 1: this week?

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Speaker 2: I love y'all. And I appreciate y'all so much for

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Speaker 2: voting for my new.

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Speaker 1: Niggah who they voted for. So I didn't see. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even look.

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Speaker 2: I haven't done all the tally because I want to

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Speaker 2: give it a little bit more time because people are

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Speaker 2: still listening to the episode. But so far, Willie is

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Speaker 2: in the lead, but just by a hair, just by

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Speaker 2: a hair, yes, just my hair. Willy's in the league,

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Speaker 2: so it's between him and Jordan. We didn't have a

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Speaker 2: single vote.

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Speaker 1: Put it on the post the pole.

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Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I thought about it. I didn't put

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Speaker 2: a pole I just had them put who they wanted

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Speaker 2: and why, and I just went through counting.

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Speaker 1: No, that is too much to do.

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Speaker 2: Wait a minute, do you think we should go back

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Speaker 2: and add a pole?

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to see if you can add it, because

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Speaker 1: what that is too much to do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's what I teople doing counting everybody's opinion,

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Speaker 2: because listen, a lot of people was like both, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, come on, you got to say you got

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Speaker 2: to pick one, not both, so to count you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you cannot add a pole after creation.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm, I mean you don't it don't hurt the

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Speaker 2: go ahead, girl, I'll be kind of listen, I can

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Speaker 2: count money and.

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Speaker 1: Who y'all vote for money and niggas?

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Speaker 2: Yep, So thank y'all for participating in For the Love

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Speaker 2: of Tama.

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Speaker 1: All right, Willie, I like that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we should do around two a face

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Speaker 2: off between Jordans and Willie. Oh, that would be nice,

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Speaker 2: and just have both of them on the line at

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Speaker 2: the same time, just.

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Speaker 1: Both I'm lying at the same time. A live performative, right,

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Speaker 1: tap dance, nigga tap dance? How was your weekend? It

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Speaker 1: was a good girl. I ain't do much and nothing.

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Speaker 1: What the fuck did I do this weekend? I feel

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Speaker 1: like I did something this weekend. Well, it was Valentines, right,

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Speaker 1: So it was Valentines, bitch. Okay, I'm geechee, but I

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Speaker 1: know English. Okay, Okay, I know it's not Valentine's right

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Speaker 1: In case, y'all niggas didn't know it's Valentines, So we

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Speaker 1: ain't do much for actual Valentine's On Friday, we cooked

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Speaker 1: at the house and put the projector up on the

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Speaker 1: wall in the bedroom because I won't let that nigga

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Speaker 1: put a TV.

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Speaker 2: Up, so y'all watch, y'all watched the movie or y'all want.

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Speaker 1: Just watch a movie. That's all we do. Yep. And

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Speaker 1: I got the regular stuff, flowers, balloons, that stuff.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people watched their They stayed home for

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. They didn't go out. I noticed that. So

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Speaker 2: for my Valentine's Day, I worked until like eight pm,

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Speaker 2: and then I stayed because you know, I'm living in

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Speaker 2: New York now, so in Charlotte, I just be staying

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Speaker 2: with friends all the time while I'm there. So I

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Speaker 2: was gonna give me a hotel room that night because

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Speaker 2: I just didn't want to, like go to nobody's house,

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Speaker 2: like especially anybody who got a hood been our nigga,

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Speaker 2: like they doing their romance thing. But my friend Shame

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Speaker 2: was like, girl, come over here. I've been married eleven years,

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Speaker 2: Like nothing going on, ye ain't shit. So I still

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Speaker 2: she had they had a private chef come over, and

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Speaker 2: I waited, so I stayed at I just stayed at

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Speaker 2: the shop till like ten o'clock, and then she called

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Speaker 2: me like where the fuck are you. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm on my way. I just never wanted to wait.

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Speaker 2: So when I got to her house, I ate the leftovers.

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Speaker 2: It's right, the wine, and I just sitting there with

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Speaker 2: an attitude eating that good.

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Speaker 1: They was waiting on you to eat with them.

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Speaker 2: Crazy No, no, well, I don't know, but I didn't

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Speaker 2: want to. Like I listened. I would have most certainly

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Speaker 2: cried if I sat at their Valentine's dinner and ate

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Speaker 2: with them. Girl, I'm a third wheel old somebody Valentine's dinner.

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Speaker 1: And not like I don't want to impose on somebody,

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Speaker 1: but if they invite me to come, like I'm gonna come,

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Speaker 1: and I wouldn't cry because I'm single, there.

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Speaker 2: Listen. It would not make me feel good to be

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Speaker 2: like sitting in between the two and they're like, so,

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Speaker 2: how's everybody's day going. No, I don't want to do that.

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Speaker 2: So that was my Valentine's. I did get some stuff,

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Speaker 2: you know, I got some stuff in the mail because

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Speaker 2: everybody who likes me right now is not local. So

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Speaker 2: I got some flowers. Oh, and I got some money.

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Speaker 2: A He's always good and I just want to shout

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Speaker 2: out Jalisa. Jalisa is a live man and she and

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Speaker 2: AJ collapsed.

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Speaker 1: That girl messaged me a month ago almost. She was like,

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Speaker 1: I want just want to do something really nice for

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Speaker 1: town for Valentine's.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that was so sweet, y'all. She

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Speaker 2: sent me a bouquet of flowers, and.

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Speaker 1: I cried like a baby in a car.

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Speaker 2: I woo cried because it was just so sweet and

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Speaker 2: thoughtful and unexpected. So thank you for that, Julisa. I

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Speaker 2: really really appreciate and love you, girl. And that was

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Speaker 2: my weekend. And my oh, I got something else to

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Speaker 2: happen this weekend, y'all. So y'all know, I'm traveling back

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Speaker 2: and forth to New York and I'm taking class or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And this weekend New York had bad weather. That weather

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Speaker 2: sweeped up the East coast. So it was in Charlotte

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Speaker 2: first and it just was moving and it was high winds.

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Speaker 2: So I struggled to get on the flight back to

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Speaker 2: New York because they kept getting grounded. Sunday night, I stood.

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Speaker 2: I sat on the runway for three hours before the

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Speaker 2: plane just turned around and went back to the gate.

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Speaker 2: The niggas was tripping like motherfuckers, was getting upset on

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Speaker 2: the plane when White Dude was like, whoever's fucking farten,

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Speaker 2: stop fucking far God dammit, it fucking smells like shit, Yo,

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Speaker 2: get the fucking bathroom.

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Speaker 1: Then charlat Maye just post some shit about people farting

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Speaker 1: a plane, like you're a special type of human and

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Speaker 1: just be farting just right there in your seat where

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Speaker 1: people sitting next to you. You ain't shit, right, actually,

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Speaker 1: so uh that happened.

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Speaker 2: So then we get off the plane and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be like two hours or something more before

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Speaker 2: this flight can take off. Potentially, we don't know, or

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Speaker 2: when I get canceled. Baby, I left the airport. I left.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I am not I've been here since

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Speaker 2: eleven am. I'm about to leave. So then finally, yeah,

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Speaker 2: a whole day wasted because it's like almost eight o'clock

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Speaker 2: now at this point when I leave the airport. So

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Speaker 2: then the next day I go back. They're still calling

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Speaker 2: for a bumpy flight. They're gonna be They're like, it's

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Speaker 2: gonna be a bumpy one. We're not gonna do any

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Speaker 2: service on the plane because this is a quick flight

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Speaker 2: of hour and fifteen minutes. Baby, When I tell you,

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Speaker 2: it felt like I was on a roller coaster flying

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Speaker 2: into New York. It was so scary. I was terrified.

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Speaker 2: I was clinching my ass real tight in my seat

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Speaker 2: and like grinding my teams farting. No, it wasn't farting.

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Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie. I have farted on the plane before,

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Speaker 2: but it was not me.

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Speaker 1: That tie. You look like a bitch at a firm plane,

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Speaker 1: Like that's right up your shitty alley. That's crazy, man,

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Speaker 1: Have you ever held in a fart that shit?

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Speaker 2: Do not feel comfortable?

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Speaker 1: Just I feel like maybe I don't fart that much

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Speaker 1: as is, like I had to have some crazy shit.

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Speaker 1: I do not be full of gas, Like I feel

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Speaker 1: like that got something to do with your diet, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not eating some ship that's gonna get me gassy.

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Speaker 2: But it don't be like that. When I have farted

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Speaker 2: on the plane, it wasn't like a stinky dookie fart.

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Speaker 2: It was just like like a little air, just a

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Speaker 2: little air, just a little anxiety air or something like that. Now,

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Speaker 2: So anyway, y'all, the flight was bouncing like crazy, and

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Speaker 2: I was scared. I was really grinding my teeth together.

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Speaker 2: I was praying, calling on Jesus, holding my butt cheese,

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Speaker 2: and someone behind me was in the back talking about

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Speaker 2: every time we hit a like every time the plane would.

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Speaker 1: I was like this for these motherfuckers is crazy.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I ain't gonna tell you what kind

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Speaker 2: of person it was, but you know the demographic of

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Speaker 2: the person it was on a plane, like going like

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Speaker 2: a bucking bronco on that bitch and talking about he hall.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, in the midst of like possibly dying,

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Speaker 1: you might as well have fucking fun, Like what like

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Speaker 1: you traveling around the time that damn flight was belly

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Speaker 1: up in Canada, Yeah, exactly, you might as well have fucking.

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Speaker 2: I was literally in the air when that shit happened.

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Speaker 2: So no, I'm not. I'm not having fun. There's nothing

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Speaker 2: fun going on right now, and there's no heat. Hall

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Speaker 2: shut up and be quiet.

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Speaker 1: Like the rest of us, like it's thundering outside, like

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Speaker 1: your grandma.

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Speaker 2: Exactly that happened.

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Speaker 1: Let's get say. Okay, y'all listen, y'all be this fucking post.

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Speaker 1: And I just sometimes I don't know if shit be

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Speaker 1: real or not, like or if people just be putting

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Speaker 1: it out there just to just to I don't know,

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Speaker 1: get clicks, likes, and views. But it says this is

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Speaker 1: a post someone posting on social media. It says, my

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Speaker 1: husband is making us fly home from our honeymoon after

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Speaker 1: one day because he found out. I sent my ex

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Speaker 1: a simple goodbye text on the morning of our wedding.

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Speaker 1: It was a good bye text for goodness sake, she said.

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Speaker 1: It was a good bye text for goodness sake. Let

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Speaker 1: me read it how she writing it, and I will

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Speaker 1: always love you text, not a drop everything and meet

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Speaker 1: me at the altar. Text. I needed to say goodbye

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Speaker 1: to have closure on the unmarried part of my life.

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Speaker 1: Please tell me, my sensitive slash nostalgic girlies understand. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't, and I'm I'm a retired frangnizer, like I'm

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Speaker 1: with all the shits, bitch, but I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: not playing with my husband in any capacity. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That nigga didn't marry you. You trying

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Speaker 1: to check that other nigga's temperature before you walk down

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Speaker 1: the aisle the girlies is not okay with that shit

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Speaker 1: the morning of your wedding. Why are you checking on

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Speaker 1: the next nigga? So morning of your wedding.

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Speaker 2: I do understand, but let me tell you. Let me

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Speaker 2: say this, I don't understand on the day of your wedding.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this conversation conversation should have happened a

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Speaker 2: long time ago.

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Speaker 1: Like maybe when you got engaged, like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: he asked me to marry him. I said yes, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and yeah. But the morning of your wedding, and I

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Speaker 1: bet you he probably didn't even respond back, like he

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Speaker 1: probably ain't checking for you because.

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Speaker 2: You know why he didn't give you a ring or

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Speaker 2: maybe you was. That was your side, nigga, because that's

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Speaker 2: what it's given. It seemed like you still had an

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Speaker 2: emotional connection to this person because on the day of

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Speaker 2: your wedding, first of all you sloppy his hell, because

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Speaker 2: how your nigga even see that? It's just too much

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Speaker 2: mess right now, because and let's say you did decide

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Speaker 2: to send this message, whatever came over you. You had pre

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Speaker 2: wedding jitters, and you just this message to your ex,

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Speaker 2: you know, and it was innocent and quotations. Why you

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Speaker 2: didn't delete it and then delete it from the deleted shit?

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Speaker 1: You were supposed to delete that nigga from your phone

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Speaker 1: after you say goodbye. Yeah, you're supposed to lead you

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Speaker 1: a whole.

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Speaker 2: You're supposed to delete everything and delete the deleted shit

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Speaker 2: because you know you can go back and retrieve some

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Speaker 2: deleted shit. You're supposed to send that to the trash too. Baby.

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Speaker 1: I spent time this weekend deleting niggas, like just deleting

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Speaker 1: text threads and stuff that just needed not to be

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Speaker 1: in my phone anymore. Like why am I holding on

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Speaker 1: to these things? I just deleted a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to meet the man that's gonna make

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Speaker 2: me delete all the dp PEOs. I got dicks from twenty.

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Speaker 1: Sixteen and whirl remember when the cell phones had the

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Speaker 1: memory cards? Yeah, bitch, I got a few memory cards,

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Speaker 1: but like hell of shit on it, Like I have

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Speaker 1: to hide those things. Motherfucker might get like a little

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Speaker 1: convertic cartridge and pop that shit at a computer one day.

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Speaker 2: But here's the thing, also, there's some issues in your

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Speaker 2: relationship already to begin.

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Speaker 1: With, because we don't try your phone.

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Speaker 2: Why he and your phone on your honeymoon, like y'all

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Speaker 2: just trying to ruin your own honey like he was.

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Speaker 2: His goal was to ruin his own honeymoon. I'm not

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Speaker 2: looking on vacation when people be fighting on vacation about

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Speaker 2: going through each other phone. Why you didn't come here

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Speaker 2: to have a good time, exactly, You spent all this

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Speaker 2: money to be mad.

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Speaker 1: And that's the thing. The last vacation me and my

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Speaker 1: ex went on the nigga who I was engaged in.

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Speaker 1: Like the vacation was lovely, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Like we wasn't trying to ruin our vacation. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the minute we touched down back on us oil that

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Speaker 1: nigga like a his phone turned. My phone was working

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Speaker 1: the whole time over there, his phone wasn't working. So

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Speaker 1: as soon as we touched down, I don't know if whatever,

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Speaker 1: bitch you done ghosted for this week, it was hitting

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Speaker 1: your ass up. But that nigga has such the nastiest

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Speaker 1: attitude after we ended vacation.

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Speaker 2: At least wait till after we laying Yeah, like, who

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Speaker 2: the fuck go on vacation and ruin the ship by

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Speaker 2: going through he's with you?

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Speaker 1: What's your problem?

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Speaker 2: I remember I had a girl. I woke up one

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Speaker 2: morning and I seen on Instagram this bitch had I

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Speaker 2: posted my picture on her story to about this is

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Speaker 2: who my nigga talking to. I didn't like, I don't

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Speaker 2: even know. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. And

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Speaker 2: they were on her birthday trip and he was like

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Speaker 2: messaging me during the trip and he went to go

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Speaker 2: like change or something, and she went in his phone.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't just me, it was me and a couple

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Speaker 2: other girls.

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Speaker 1: I think imber I remember, I remember that. It's like

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Speaker 1: a couple of bitches. She holly pick and choose which

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Speaker 1: bitches she wanted to be mad at the most. So

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Speaker 1: it's bitch cute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Because I'm like, I don't know, I didn't know

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Speaker 2: he had a girlfriend. I would not be I'm not

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Speaker 2: trying to ruin your vacation, but why are you going

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Speaker 2: through his phone.

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Speaker 1: Why are you vacation? Why are you running your birthday?

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Speaker 1: Like so, you're right that something else may be going

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Speaker 1: on in a relationship. And maybe he had already had

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Speaker 1: reservations about her. Why he even checking her phone. He

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Speaker 1: might have always been checking her phone. She just didn't know.

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Speaker 1: But now it's that X so, I mean it's probably

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Speaker 1: you know this. This lets me know that there are

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Speaker 1: a lot of people who are not married to the

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Speaker 1: person that they are actually that they are actually in

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Speaker 1: love with. And I think more so men, they lose

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Speaker 1: the one that got away and then they just settle

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Speaker 1: for the next one and they just never get over

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Speaker 1: this other person. A lot of times I think it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of people married to just say mine, well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they married to mine as well, and the whole time

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Speaker 1: your heart is someplace else.

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Speaker 2: I remember we were all sitting around I think I

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Speaker 2: told this story on here before. But this man compared

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Speaker 2: his wife at the time because to a reliable Honda

306
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Speaker 2: Accord baby, like, well, I know the single last everybody

307
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Speaker 2: was sitting at the table like looking down at their phone, like.

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Speaker 1: The other bench. Pride was just a lexus made by

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Speaker 1: the same people, ain't it. No Toyota, make less Toyota, Hyundai.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who else Haunta, don't make nothing else.

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Speaker 1: Don't ever. I'm a bily motherfucker. I'm just saying like

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Speaker 1: his upgrade from the Honda was probably nothing serious either

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, or he a.

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Speaker 2: Downgrade because he went all of that. He wouldn't if

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Speaker 2: he was a ninety eight Honda. She was a two

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Speaker 2: thousand and one. He was definitely a ninety eight. Non man.

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Speaker 1: Shame, what else were you goll going on?

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Speaker 2: So listen, you sent this to me. Study finds that

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Speaker 2: most single women would choose their dog over a man.

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Speaker 2: A research conducted conducted by the Kennel Club reveals that

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Speaker 2: a substant number of single women would choose the company

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Speaker 2: of their dogs over pursuing a romantic relationship, with surveys

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00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 2: indicating figures between sixty and seventy percent. Studies conducted by

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Speaker 2: both the Kennel Club and Burns Pet Nutrition also showed

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Speaker 2: that many pet owners regard their dog's approval as essential

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Speaker 2: when considering a potential period.

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Speaker 1: Better know it.

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00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 2: Millennials are exceptionally devoted to their K nine companions, with

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Speaker 2: over half steering clear of relationships with anyone who lacks

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Speaker 2: fondness for their dogs.

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Speaker 1: When Bella was alive, like, if I was to be

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Speaker 1: fucking with somebody and they like, get your dog, even

333
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,360
Speaker 1: friends almost manless, I almost fought. We ain't friends no more.

334
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,160
Speaker 1: But I almost fought a bit over my dog once

335
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Speaker 1: because she kicked my dog. Yes, I said, listen, make

336
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 1: sure you pick all yourself up off the floor because

337
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 1: she'd be getting into shit. She'll choose stuff. So she

338
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Speaker 1: left her glasses on the floor and Honey, my dog

339
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 1: at the time, chewed her glasses. And when she woke up,

340
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Speaker 1: she's like, your fucking dog, choose my glasses. And she

341
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Speaker 1: kicked honeyey And he said, I said, bitch, get the

342
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Speaker 1: fuck out of my house right now. This is her house.

343
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Speaker 1: This is her house.

344
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Speaker 2: And I told you not to leave your shit nowhere.

345
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Speaker 2: Does I don't leave my ship there exactly a do

346
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Speaker 2: you know what time? It is like she would just

347
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 2: get bored randomly. She would not always do stuff like that,

348
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 2: but it was a possibility, which is why I pre

349
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Speaker 2: warned you. You know what I'm saying, girl, that bitch

350
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Speaker 2: kick my fucking dog. So if I'm fucking with a

351
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Speaker 2: guy who doesn't really like dogs like that. I don't

352
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Speaker 2: know how we're supposed to be in a relationship. Yeah,

353
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:37,439
Speaker 2: I don't know if pet's period No, because I dated

354
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Speaker 2: someone who, uh, you know, African men don't really like

355
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Speaker 2: animals at all like that.

356
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Speaker 1: In the house. They probably don't think they belong in

357
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Speaker 1: the house. That's what it is.

358
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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm I don't know if it's gonna keep

359
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 2: me from a relationship if you're not a pet person.

360
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Speaker 2: As long as you don't try to harm my animal,

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Speaker 2: it's okay.

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Speaker 1: But how are y'all okay? Like suppose y'all were to

363
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 1: get into a relationship with I would be married, y'all.

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00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 1: Y'all know that's what I'm saying. Y'all may not get

365
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,919
Speaker 1: to that place because this is not an animal. Person

366
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Speaker 1: like that person would not want an animal living in

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Speaker 1: a house with them. It's the same like with smoking cigarettes.

368
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Speaker 1: Just because you smoke at your house, I still don't

369
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Speaker 1: want somebody who smokes me neither.

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Speaker 2: But I listened. I remember I had, y'all. I had

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Speaker 2: a chihuahua Diamonds Rest in Peace Diamonds. And she was

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Speaker 2: so tiny, right like she was, you know how little

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Speaker 2: chihuah She was like, we've been small, like a pre

374
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Speaker 2: MEI hua tea cut.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

376
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Speaker 2: And I remember this guy that I thought was like

377
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 2: pretty dope. He was in banking in Charlotte and he

378
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: had his ship together and he was very much into

379
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 2: me and I finally, after you know, dating for a

380
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 2: little while, I invited him in uh to do karaoke

381
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 2: because I wasn't trying to fuck yet, but I love listen.

382
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,439
Speaker 2: I always want to do karaoke and entertain. And I

383
00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 2: let Diamonds out the cage, you know, because when I home,

384
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 2: she don't have to sit in the cage, you know.

385
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 2: And I let her free. And I didn't tell him.

386
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 2: I didn't say, hey, I'm about to let her out.

387
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 2: I just went and opened the cage and he jumped

388
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 2: with his shoes on into my couch and was hollering

389
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 2: like a little bit, I'm not like that. And I

390
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 2: was like, oh, no, you've got to get the fuck out.

391
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 2: I don't even want to talk to you no more.

392
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 2: I don't even want to date you no more. Honestly,

393
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 2: because we know and already love our animals, that's why

394
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 2: we're gonna choose them over this imaginary nigga. You know,

395
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 2: I think if you met the right imaginary yes, he's

396
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 2: a pigment of your imagination at this time. So but

397
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 2: I feel like if you met someone good and loving

398
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 2: and checked all your boxes and made you feel very love,

399
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 2: you might compromise.

400
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: I don't think. So. I have a friend who has

401
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: a child now, but and I think she might have

402
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 1: all already been pregnant when her and her boyfriend were

403
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: like like thinking about moving in together. But the entire

404
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: time she was dating him, he had this dog. She

405
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: knew he had a dog, right. She even she even

406
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: tried to go to therapy, like cause she's like really

407
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 1: really afraid of dogs, right, so she did actually, you know,

408
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: go seek therapy to find out you know why is

409
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 1: she just so terrified of pets, and also to make

410
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: the relationship work. But ultimately they didn't work out, and

411
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 1: that was one of the reasons why is And now

412
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,879
Speaker 1: they have a child together. And when she was pregnant,

413
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: she was like I'm not even I'm not I'm not

414
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:39,239
Speaker 1: moving in there, like you already made a decision. Now

415
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: you have a kid, and now is like you knew

416
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: this man had this dog the whole time y'all are

417
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: in a relationship, and he had the dog the whole

418
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,439
Speaker 1: time you were pregnant, right, so why wait until you

419
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 1: get pregnant for somebody who has dogs, who has a dog,

420
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,959
Speaker 1: and you know you don't like dogs, Like that's something

421
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 1: that's probably another negotiable for you.

422
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 2: I just expect you to compromise in my in my favor, see.

423
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: And that's not how it's gonna be. So really, you

424
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 1: just have to get people who are comparable, yeah, to

425
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: your life, like you can't make especially at this big age.

426
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 1: Like if somebody doesn't like dogs, they don't like dogs,

427
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 1: they're not gonna date somebody who has dogs. They're not

428
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: gonna date somebody who. A lot of people be hating

429
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: on cats. People do not like cats. I didn't know.

430
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 2: I don't. I used to love cats as a child,

431
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: But cats is so sometimey as fucked. Like one minute

432
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 2: they like you, the next minute.

433
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: They they are women. They just like women and dogs

434
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: are like men. Like cats really don't when they don't

435
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: want you fucking with them, like you just leave them alone.

436
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 1: But the less attention you paid to them, the more

437
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: they want to love on you.

438
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 2: Like I would have for me to have a cat,

439
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: I would want to get them declawed.

440
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: No, that is so inhumane. What if they were to

441
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 1: get out and get lost, they won't be able to

442
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 1: defend themselves. I hate even Like for Christmas, we went

443
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 1: to some friend's house for she had like a gathering

444
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: for for friends for Christmas, and I actually took Dasha

445
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: to her people house like the breeder I got her from,

446
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 1: And I intentionally didn't cut her nails, just in case

447
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 1: she got to fight her mom when she get there.

448
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,360
Speaker 1: Like you just never know, like what's gonna pop off?

449
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: And your cat can't defend themselves because you don't cut

450
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: their nails or declawed them. Yeah, I would never that

451
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, that's their like defense, you know.

452
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, it gives your ass too.

453
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: You have a big scratchbar cat I have. I got

454
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: a scar on my damn arm from when she was

455
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 1: a kitten. But she's man. Catch her hurts they do her,

456
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,160
Speaker 1: but they don't, they don't, they don't mean to do it.

457
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: I don't know nowt up very intentional.

458
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: I was in high school. My friend Casey kat Panda,

459
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 2: she would always come rub on me, take rubbing on

460
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,120
Speaker 2: my leg, rubbing, so finally I was like, okay, let

461
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 2: me pay.

462
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: Oh, you can rub me, but I can't rub you.

463
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 2: Bit.

464
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: That's how she scratched me up.

465
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 2: And I ain't fu.

466
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 1: Shame. I love the cats, man, I was fixated on

467
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: cats for at least two years before actually getting one.

468
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 2: Your cat is pretty, but I definitely was still like,

469
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: if I came over, I would probably like myma business.

470
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: And then she rubbing through me is cool, but I ain't.

471
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna. I ain't gonna like I have PTSD.

472
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 1: She has never hissed. I've heard her hits that like

473
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 1: she was hissing at like trying to buck up to

474
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: fight her mom. But she's never done that to me.

475
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: And I heard her growl at a dog one time.

476
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: She growls, Yeah, I didn't know cats growled, Yes, Like hmmm,

477
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: that's insane, like a whole dog. Anyway, y'all listen. So

478
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: we got a lot of new legislation coming down the pipeline.

479
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all heard about this or not,

480
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: but it says Ohio and Mississippi bill aims to make

481
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 1: ejaculating without intent to conceive a felony costing over ten

482
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,719
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. Okay, it's as a draft bill was released

483
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: in Ohio this week seeking to make ejaculation without the

484
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 1: intent of conceiving a baby a felony offense. Its advocates

485
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: say that say the intent is to stir up public debate.

486
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: So maybe he's not a real thing. So it says,

487
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: to stir up public debate over reproductive rights and the

488
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: interpretation and application of Biblical law, because y'all know that's

489
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: how they like to do women. If the United States

490
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 1: governments are willing to use interpretations of theological law to

491
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: regulate women, why not men? I agree. Ohio State Representatives

492
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: Anita Somani and Tristan Radar Raider, the authors of the

493
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: Conception Begins at Erection Act, say it's a tongue in

494
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: chic means of highlighting the hypocrisy behind moves to regulate

495
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 1: women's bodies. It says, you don't get pregnant on your own, observers.

496
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: Representative Samani, Democrat for Dublin. If you're if you're going

497
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: to penalize someone for an unwanted pregnancy, why not penalize

498
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 1: the person who is also responsible for the pregnancy. It

499
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: is now legal in ten states for women to have

500
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: a termination. Excuse me. It's now illegal in ten states

501
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 1: for women to have a termination, even in the aftermath

502
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 1: of a rape. At least three women have been jailed

503
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,199
Speaker 1: after the US Supreme Court overturned the fifty year old

504
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: Row versus Wade precedent. So we get in politics, Yeah,

505
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: I feel like this is a is a great counter

506
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: because it doesn't like men don't have to have no

507
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: responsibility for real, once a baby is conceived. You know

508
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, like, yeah, you might get I guess,

509
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, child support stuff like that. I also then

510
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: understand men when they don't want the child, right, because

511
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: the women can say they don't want the child, and

512
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: then the man has no say so. A woman can

513
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: say they want the child and a man has no

514
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 1: say so, right, and that is your child, nigga. It

515
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: literally was in your nuts.

516
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 2: First.

517
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,919
Speaker 1: I love the name of the act, but it's ridiculous.

518
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: It is if I catch your ass busting off of

519
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: a sock, nigga, ten thousand dollars reckless abandonments. I don't

520
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: think that's what they mean though. I think they mean like,

521
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: if you get somebody pregnant and you didn't intend on

522
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: getting them pregnant, but they do it's gonna be ten

523
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 1: thousand dollars or maybe they just saying it just I

524
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 1: don't know.

525
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 2: No, I think they just want people to have conversations

526
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 2: about it.

527
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: And that's what they said, is like thought provoking.

528
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, because the ain't no way, baby.

529
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: I just think they need to go ahead with the

530
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 1: contraceptive for men. You know, but there are a lot

531
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: of men now who are getting vasectomies. I know a

532
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: few men who have had them. You know, do they

533
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: have kids? Yeah, they already have kids, and they're like,

534
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 1: I'm not having no more kids. And I guess I

535
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 1: want to be I want to fuck I'm not and

536
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:02,440
Speaker 1: I mean.

537
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean teach shirl, I listen. I'm like, just celibate,

538
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 2: still just celibate. But the next time I do it,

539
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: I want to be able.

540
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: You're gonna celibate next time?

541
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 2: No, I ain't gonna celebate. I would like to have

542
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 2: unprotected sex.

543
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, we fucking rut twenty twenty five, baby.

544
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,199
Speaker 2: But that's why, but only with the right person. So

545
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna wait and wait and.

546
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: Wait and wait. Don't do it, Ohio and Mississippi.

547
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 2: But I just need to lie. I wanted to be

548
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 2: my man, my man, my man.

549
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: You know.

550
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 2: So I think I'm just gonna wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

551
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: I've missed around and don't get none all twenty twenty.

552
00:28:53,400 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: Five, No, right, waiting on some nice clean well teen Yeah,

553
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: some god faring penis. Yeah, girl, Yo, Christians, be wild.

554
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 2: I want that. I'm gonna be like that girl. Remember

555
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 2: she's like, I ain't had no sex on the pool pit.

556
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: When she's saying that, Yeah, now that's where I'm at

557
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 2: with it. Well, God please.

558
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: Give her that, give her that.

559
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

560
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I don't know. I'm with the

561
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: non recreational fucking nowadays. I just eat my energy.

562
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: Man. It's kind of crazy because you in that house

563
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 2: with a nigga, and I know he'd be like.

564
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, let's get to Battie of the Day,

565
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: Baddie of the week. So this week's battie is actually

566
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: a couple. Okay, black people, okay, Marie Van Britton Brown

567
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: and Albert L. Brown. Marie Brown was a nurse and

568
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: her husband was an electrician. In nineteen sixty six, they

569
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: invented an audio visual home security system. That same year,

570
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: they applied for a patent for their security system. It

571
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: was granted three years later in nineteen sixty nine, y'all,

572
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: And that is our baddie couple of the week that

573
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 1: talks back.

574
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: Okay, salute to them. Hey, listen, I know they got

575
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: paid off of that security system. Like we've we've created

576
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 2: so many things, like so many inventions, and a lot

577
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 2: of them came out of necessity the need. When you

578
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: need some shit that don't exist, you wake up some

579
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: shit real quick.

580
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were living in Jamaica Queen's back then, so

581
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: they absolutely needed an alarm system. So them niggas is like,

582
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: wait a minute, let me see we could throw together

583
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: right quick. So a lot of patents are still you know,

584
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: even used today. Period thirty two subsequent patents actually still

585
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: being used. We salute you all right, y'all. So listen,

586
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: this week's episode is actually an extension I guess from

587
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: last week from uh uh for the love of tam Bam. Okay,

588
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: So when do you ask those tough questions when you

589
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: first get into a relationship, Because now she's gonna be

590
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: going on dates. She got like two apostle one of

591
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: the possible right now.

592
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: Not a single soul voted for Nico, not one.

593
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 1: Nico was a damn fool. I feel like he was

594
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: trying to self sabotage because what so, when do you

595
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: have the tough questions? When do you have the tough

596
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: Excuse me? When do you have the tough conversations when

597
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: you first start dating somebody? When is the right time?

598
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: You know? I think it's before sex?

599
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, absolutely, before six.

600
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you plan on having sex with him

601
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: tonight and this is the first date, you need to

602
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: ask him all the shit today. Let's get into it, sorry, y'all.

603
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 1: So Valentine's Day just passed and we did for the

604
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: love of damn bam period. So she'll have a date

605
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: coming up soon. So we were thinking about, like, you know,

606
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: like it's hard to actually have or ask the questions

607
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: that need to be asked.

608
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 2: Period.

609
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: When are you going on dates with new people? You

610
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You don't want to scare a

611
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: nigga off, but I feel like scare them off if you.

612
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 2: Ask the hard questions up front, don't wait, but don't

613
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: some questions you should wait on, like don't ask for money.

614
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: I don't think you should ask for money on the

615
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: first date.

616
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: Wait, why he gonna ask her pussy on the first

617
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: date or try to insinuate.

618
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 2: Well, you can insinuate that you need help. But I

619
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 2: just feel like men are off put by anybody. Like

620
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 2: I promise y'all. I used to do that shit a

621
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 2: long time ago. Date, not all the first day, but

622
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 2: like after the first day. I'm so stressed. Life is

623
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 2: so hard.

624
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: I need help, but I really did.

625
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 2: I was young, I was poor, you know, college college agent,

626
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: young and poor, you do need help?

627
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: Well, My thing is this, if they ask about or

628
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: even just having a little small talk around sex, even

629
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: a little bit, then that's when you bring up the

630
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: topic of money to make everybody uncomfortable at that point.

631
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 2: But then it almost comes off as a little prostituty.

632
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: You don't actually have to give him the gucci on

633
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: the first date. We are just meeting you on marroring

634
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,239
Speaker 1: your actions right now, is what I'm doing. Yeah, But

635
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: so men value their pocket, they value their purse, and women.

636
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: Valuate their body, right, so, but then it almost comes

637
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 2: off as transactional. Are we transactional with our bodies?

638
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: Yes, even married women, But nobody want to talk about that.

639
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: And sometimes I know. I am like, if I need

640
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 1: you to produce, I might not milk you all the time.

641
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 1: We might not have sex all the time. If I

642
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: need you to be attentive and actually executeing on whatever

643
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: goals we have. Because if you really fucking a nigga like,

644
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: he don't have energy to do nothing else. So I

645
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 1: need you to have energy but to provide.

646
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 2: See, I'm thinking that you should want to fuck him

647
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 2: all the time.

648
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: So somebody else ain't doing it.

649
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, it's empty that nigga all the time, so

650
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 2: he don't need nobody else.

651
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,359
Speaker 1: I am at a point in my life where I

652
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: really don't care. Not that I don't, but I think

653
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: that it's real love When I never find out, I

654
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: feel like you hate me out for me to see.

655
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 2: But here's the thing. The niggas be sloppy. They don't

656
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 2: think as far ahead when it comes to turn things

657
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 2: like that as women do. When women step out or

658
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 2: do something they don't have no business, they are playing chess,

659
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 2: planning that ship down to what socks and shoes looking.

660
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: And that is love, that's respect. Am I wrong.

661
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 2: In a toxic way? You're right, is not doing it

662
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 2: at all? So I don't know with that, So what's

663
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 2: what's some.

664
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 1: Of the tough questions that you think should not be

665
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 1: asked on a first date, because again, if I were

666
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: dating at this age, I'm asking all the things upfront

667
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: so that you know, or you know, you can make

668
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: the decision whether or not you want to take any

669
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 1: further than tonight.

670
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 2: You should never ask a man on the first day

671
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 2: how much money he makes, how much money he makes? No,

672
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 2: that's you shouldn't act that on the first day.

673
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think I ever asked people

674
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 1: how much money they make, and I really don't ask

675
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: people what they do. Usually that comes out in general conversation.

676
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 2: No, you know, being in LA that is a quick

677
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 2: they want so much money you make? Not how much

678
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 2: money you make, but what do you do? So what

679
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: do you do?

680
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's like the first to it's the problem.

681
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:07,800
Speaker 1: He will try to size you up.

682
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 2: By But that is a common question out there. So

683
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: I don't think, like so some places that's normal to

684
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: ask and it's not offensive, you know, or where do

685
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: you live?

686
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 1: Where do you live?

687
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 2: Where do you live? But that's a that's intrusive to me.

688
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 2: It's why you want to know don't where you live.

689
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: So it's too soon to bring up money. How much

690
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: you make?

691
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 2: How much can I have some What's another question that

692
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 2: is too soon?

693
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:36,720
Speaker 1: Uh?

694
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 2: Do you have like mental illness in your family? That

695
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 2: is not too soon for a first day. Yes, No,

696
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 2: don't ask because if it's mama skins are Freddy, you

697
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,839
Speaker 2: think he want to have that conversation right away.

698
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 1: He might be taking you out right now, like it's crazy,

699
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: might fuck around and come out because you asked. You see,

700
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: so now you know rather than not you're getting that.

701
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: But listen, people might have mental Is that a breaker?

702
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: It was not a deal break exactly. Some know how

703
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: now to handle you because I know I've said this before.

704
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times like men. I want

705
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: to say men, but I deal with men right. People

706
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 1: have issues and they want you to use them to

707
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: justify why they treating you a certain way. Like just

708
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 1: because I know you are all this trauma, you know

709
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: I'm not going to keep sticking around and using it

710
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: to justify being mistreated. Yeah, So know upfront, it just.

711
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 2: Seems a little harsh because I'm just trying to put

712
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 2: myself in a place of someone who does have mental illness.

713
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 2: In their family and what I want to be asked

714
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 2: that question on the first day and have to explain

715
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 2: why my mom is in a facility or why my

716
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 2: cousin like my sister is. That's heavy for a first day.

717
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 1: You find that out, though, when do you.

718
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: Before you have sex with them?

719
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: But what if you might you know, be planning to

720
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: have sex.

721
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 2: Tonight, then I guess asked pussy tonight, then go ahead

722
00:37:58,840 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: and ask.

723
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: All the questions.

724
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 2: But I don't think that's that's so intrusive on the

725
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 2: first day. You know what I also I think is

726
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 2: kind of intrusive. I'm thinking in terms of like being

727
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 2: a woman. I don't like when people say, all right,

728
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 2: do you have kids? It's a fine question, why not

729
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 2: horrible question? Yeah, I think I hate that question. It's

730
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 2: like bitch y'all know ask God, don't ask me exactly?

731
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: Well, But I also then make people feel uncomfortable. I'll

732
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 1: tell them exactly why I don't have kids. Now that's

733
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: a question I don't want people asking me or yeah,

734
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: why you got enough kids? What's wrong with you?

735
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 2: Bitch?

736
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: But then if you got kids and no, man, that's

737
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: a problem too, exactly, So it's a lose lose for

738
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: women man we being.

739
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 2: So that's a question. I don't think you should ask

740
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 2: a woman or even a man. You know, you can

741
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 2: ask if they have kids, but if they don't, don't

742
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 2: say why not.

743
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: I be thinking it's more weird for men not to

744
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 1: have kids, the way to be ostracizing women for not

745
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: having kids. I really think it's more weird for men

746
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: not to have a child.

747
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: What I do think?

748
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: So, I think it's more weirder, like why you no kids?

749
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 2: But you can't say that you don't want nobody to you.

750
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 2: You know.

751
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: I had an epiphany one day when I was gonna streams,

752
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: y'all shreams. I think the best when I'm high, So well,

753
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: that's not a real high anyway, it is. I wrote

754
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 1: in my notes, are women subconsciously attracted? Because you know

755
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 1: what men like to say women have kids for a

756
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 1: certain percentage of black men, like all of all the

757
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: black women who have kids got kids by the saying

758
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: niggas basically, And I was thinking, like, is that something

759
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: that is subconscious when you see a man with children,

760
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 1: like you subconsciously subconsciously think like he is a producer,

761
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: why you're attracted to him?

762
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: No?

763
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: No, I mean at least, you know, he I think

764
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 1: it's I think it is subconscious kids.

765
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 2: I don't man without kids.

766
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,320
Speaker 1: You like them? You know? Or do you like the

767
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 1: niggas with it's better?

768
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think that's not my discermining

769
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,439
Speaker 2: factor or how well I like a man.

770
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,919
Speaker 1: But if the men that, I like the fact.

771
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: So if like, all right, I like the fact that

772
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 2: if we have kids, it's the first time with me,

773
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 2: you know, like we get to experience this.

774
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 1: I'm talking about that thing that we're not realizing in

775
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 1: the back because just think about the men you have

776
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: been in love with, did they or did they not

777
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:25,720
Speaker 1: already have children?

778
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,280
Speaker 2: So the last nigga I loved did not have kids.

779
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 2: He had kids while we were together with somebody else.

780
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 2: So I don't know if that counts.

781
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 1: No, that's not what I'm talking about.

782
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then the man prior to that, he did

783
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 2: have kids. But like I'm always I was always concerned

784
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 2: with like, if I get into this, you know, I'll

785
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 2: get with this man with children, am I going to

786
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 2: be a good step mom to these kids? I'm always

787
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 2: concerned with that, like what will my relationship to these

788
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 2: children be and their mother. That's always my first concern.

789
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 2: So when a man doesn't have, I'm like, yes, I

790
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 2: don't have to deal with none of that.

791
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like baby mamas and none of that shit.

792
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: And then you know, especially if you with somebody who's

793
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: not really facilitating the relationship between you and the kid's mom,

794
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: it's just gonna always be awkward. I remember my ex

795
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: I had met one of his baby moments because she

796
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 1: was just like a random way girl, one of his

797
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: childhood friends. The fun laughing was easy for him, I

798
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 1: guess with this other one real strict and he just

799
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: had her pop up at the house one day to

800
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: bring the sun. Didn't tell me nothing, and didn't tell

801
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: her who was at the house.

802
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 2: So he wasn't there, just you.

803
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,800
Speaker 1: Hell no, And I opened the door with a fucking bondy.

804
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,479
Speaker 1: You think that's how I want your baby mama and me?

805
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure. And she looked like she just

806
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 1: got off from work, looking tired, like I'm pretty sure

807
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: she wanted to look more.

808
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you have to properly. Yeah that wasn't fair.

809
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like that. It was embarrassed and you

810
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 1: didn't know the kid was coming. No, he called me

811
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: like right when he was pulling up, like, yeah, my baby,

812
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 1: mama dropping my son off. Where the fuck are you?

813
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 2: Right?

814
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 1: Whirredo anyway, So why do you think it is that

815
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: we avoid like the hard conversations thought, aside from not

816
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 1: wanting to offend, I think for women, we don't want

817
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: to push the man away too early. A lot of

818
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: times we women have a tough time asking things.

819
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't want to. I think it's the same

820
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 2: for everybody.

821
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to give the e like ugh, you know,

822
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 1: but the tough question like women that need women need

823
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: to ask that they may not on a first day

824
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 1: is like, you know, are you interested in being married?

825
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 1: Because in a man's mind, you want to marry him

826
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 1: tomorrow if you ask him that question. But really no,

827
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 1: I just want to know, like, are you even in

828
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: that mind.

829
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 2: Of marriage if you want that or not? Because if not,

830
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 2: I'm wasting my time here.

831
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: Do you have married friends? Are your parents still together? Now?

832
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:49,800
Speaker 1: Those are things you can ask.

833
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 2: But I've never in all my years had a man

834
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:58,439
Speaker 2: say no, he was completely escephal last week. Last week

835
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 2: the first time in my life. On the episode, it

836
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 2: was the first time my man had ever told me

837
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 2: that marriage was completely off the table, you know. So

838
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 2: I feel like men kind of like acquiesced to what

839
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 2: you what it sounds like you want off times, Yeah,

840
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: when they not even being for real Like whatever you say,

841
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 2: baby girl, I'm down with it until I get that pussy.

842
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,439
Speaker 2: You can't even get no cheese on your burger? What

843
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 2: Martin says?

844
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,240
Speaker 1: You want cheese? God damn? Why are you a cheese?

845
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:36,919
Speaker 2: Yes?

846
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,720
Speaker 1: But I don't be remembering these things to real life

847
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,359
Speaker 1: randomly like that the hell?

848
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: So I just say that to say that sometimes you

849
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: ask the hard questions and you get the answer you

850
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 2: want instead of the truth.

851
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 1: Right, So are we saying that men don't have integrity.

852
00:43:56,200 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 2: Sometimes because we family? I'm about to share some shit

853
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 2: that happened to me last year. I got ghosted.

854
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just February, so what a couple months ago?

855
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got ghosted by a nigga. Y'all that shit

856
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 2: is humbly.

857
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 1: Listen.

858
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 2: Then was like very persistent, like doing all the things,

859
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 2: like being very present. I even we were even discussed

860
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 2: matching pajamas for Christmas. He was down. I sent him

861
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 2: pajamas that I liked. He liked him too. It was lit.

862
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: He was supposed to come for Thanksgiving. He's supposed to

863
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 2: come to my mama's house for Thanksgiving. I sent him

864
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 2: a message about Okay, I don't want to give it

865
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 2: too much away, but all right, this person is an

866
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 2: entertainer or whatever, and I sent him a message about

867
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 2: what I saw on something that he had been on.

868
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 2: Do you know I never heard from that nigga again

869
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 2: to this day. He never responded, never text back. I

870
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,919
Speaker 2: call him, no answer. I have not heard back from him.

871
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 2: Why did you do all of that with me?

872
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: So he not like this thing was hidden, right, so

873
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 1: he knew you would see it at some point.

874
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, or I'm a sick I mean it's on it

875
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 2: was on YouTube, so hm hmm. Ain't that crazy that

876
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 2: I know him for a while. But we started talking

877
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 2: like early in the summer, and it just it progressed.

878
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 2: And then while my foot was broken, we kind of

879
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 2: was locked in, or at least I thought we had

880
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 2: locked in.

881
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 1: Maybe he found out somebody was pregnant, but I think that.

882
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: That's why.

883
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's that's like an avoidance tactic, right, so

884
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 1: you don't have to have the hard conversation.

885
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.

886
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: And remember when I said I don't mind ghosting, I

887
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: mean because I have ghosted sometimes I feel like girl

888
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,399
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand times like that will that don't mean

889
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: you like you're trying to make me do something, and

890
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: that's gonna make me not answer the phone even more.

891
00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 1: I might change.

892
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna call a hundred times, but I will

893
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:06,840
Speaker 2: call three.

894
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,439
Speaker 1: No, I'm calling one time and I'm texting one time,

895
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: and that's it.

896
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 2: I will call you three motherfuck times and if you

897
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 2: don't answer that phone, I will pull up.

898
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 1: You ain't pulling up at lying that gas gasoline, no

899
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: mad So maybe he just he just avoided having a

900
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: tough conversation with you, and sometimes you just have to

901
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,800
Speaker 1: respect it. Did you ever give up the kuchie?

902
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 2: What?

903
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 1: No? Okay? I mean if you didn't, then you're winning.

904
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: No I did? I did.

905
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 1: That's a real ghost.

906
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 2: Yeah. He goes to me here my feeling okay, And

907
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 2: I ain't been on the day or talking to nobody since.

908
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: Okay, in case somebody after sex, I'm going to get

909
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: an STD test depending on Like, why the funk you

910
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,280
Speaker 1: stop talking to me? I'm scared now, but it wasn't

911
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 1: like direct. It wasn't like directly after sex.

912
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 2: He was like, puts it bad.

913
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:01,479
Speaker 1: It wasn't like that.

914
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 2: It was just like it was so random, you know,

915
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 2: it was just very random. It was it was weird.

916
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:10,720
Speaker 2: And this is the first time I shared with anybody

917
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 2: that this happened, because I was really embarrassed by it.

918
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 2: But I mean, we family, and it happens to the

919
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 2: best of us, So that's what happened. But I've been like, yeah,

920
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 2: I'm done ever since then, like for real done, Like.

921
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 1: M yeah, maybe a couchin as good as you think, girl,

922
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:34,320
Speaker 1: fuck you Gucci is amazing. Let me call that nigga

923
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 1: from myself. Ho fuck you. Women always say they got

924
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: the best Guccie. I don't know how this scuoci feel.

925
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: I know I have been stalked about it, but I

926
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: won't say I got good. Have you ever been ghosted

927
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 1: before I've done. I've had a mutual ghost where we

928
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: just stopped talking, like I really didn't care one way

929
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: to the other. After sex.

930
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 2: Really, it wasn't like after sex, so it was just

931
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,919
Speaker 2: like random. It was very random because we had been

932
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 2: you know, we were, like I said, we had been

933
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 2: locked in.

934
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: I just don't think men go away if you never

935
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 1: fuck them. You know what I'm saying, They gonna stick

936
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 1: around until they at least do that, and then they

937
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 1: kind of like decide rather it was they like you

938
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 1: enough to keep doing the things.

939
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it was.

940
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 1: To him.

941
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 2: Okay, So look, so I lied a little bit. I

942
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 2: did get I did get a random dem from him

943
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 2: when I popped out with the red hair on my

944
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 2: Instagram story that he was like in my DM saying

945
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 2: a little something. But I ignored it at that point.

946
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: Because it's like playing with right. Yeah. So yeah, yeah,

947
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: that's definitely he definitely on some bullshit.

948
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,800
Speaker 2: I just feel like he's just like, oh, I think.

949
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: That's how men put women in friendszone though. See the

950
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 1: difference between men and women. When we friend zone, we're

951
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: not fucking you first, like we're gonna friend zone you

952
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 1: because we don't really want to have sex with you.

953
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: Men will fuck you and then friends on you.

954
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 2: But the thing is, you're talking about mentioning pajamas and

955
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 2: coming for Thanksgiving.

956
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: He's saying all the things that you want to hear, though.

957
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 2: But I didn't ask you to cod for Thanksgiving.

958
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: You just you know, then just they just be fucking

959
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: lying for no reason. And then it doesn't matter how

960
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 1: many times you tell them like it's cool, like you

961
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,240
Speaker 1: don't even got to do all that, they just still't

962
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 1: do it because it's just like a normal setting and

963
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: they fucking head. That's why you gotta thump them sometimes

964
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: on top, because that's what a reset by.

965
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 2: Now, no, that's violent, you go to jail.

966
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 1: Look, man, these hands all right?

967
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 2: The what are we?

968
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: Once you get into their relationship.

969
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 2: Listen, I don't do the what are we? I don't

970
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 2: do the water we card of conversation. I just feel

971
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 2: like I'm sitting until you ask me to be your girlfriend.

972
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 1: I feel like at this point men or like somebody

973
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 1: needs to write a letter and like do the yes

974
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 1: and no like school check yes and no, because a

975
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: man will be doing all the things with you you

976
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,359
Speaker 1: meet his girlfriend.

977
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:02,399
Speaker 2: And I will not consider you my boyfriend. I'll meet

978
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 2: your mom and all that stuff. But if you don't

979
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 2: ask me to be in a committed relationship with you,

980
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to assume that we're not.

981
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think that even even if right you

982
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 1: got that mind, because I feel the same way. Right

983
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,399
Speaker 1: and then you're still dating and exploring other people. If

984
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: that guy that you might be spending the most time

985
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: with because y'all are doing the boyfriend girlfriend things, if he,

986
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 1: you know, realizes like you actually actively out here still dating,

987
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: he probably gonna stop talking to you that type of

988
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: way about it.

989
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 2: You didn't ask me to be your girlfriend, So if

990
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 2: you wanted that commitment, then why didn't you?

991
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: But why do we hide it?

992
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 2: Though?

993
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,759
Speaker 1: Why do we hide that we're still dating because you

994
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: haven't committed yet? I feel like women do? Bit is

995
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,919
Speaker 1: my lace showing it? Why are you looking up? I'm

996
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 1: just looking too. I feel like you're looking right here.

997
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 2: Right.

998
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: I love this ivy booth and sometime bit y'all they

999
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: just be so self conscious about that. Lacey, keep awake on.

1000
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: I know something going on right here looking at it. Okay,

1001
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:03,280
Speaker 1: you did.

1002
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 2: This?

1003
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 1: What we talk about farmers?

1004
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,319
Speaker 2: We need to be the way the food is right now?

1005
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 2: But yeah, like I.

1006
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: Think a conversation should have also. Yeah, even if you

1007
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: don't ask him, what are we like? Hey, you you're

1008
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 1: still dating other people?

1009
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 2: Are we exclusive?

1010
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: Maybe that's how you ask? But then men like, because

1011
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: what are we? What?

1012
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 2: Do we sound so needy? To me, like, what are

1013
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:39,359
Speaker 2: we It.

1014
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: Doesn't have to be said like that, That's what I'm saying.

1015
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: So maybe you can ask are we are we still

1016
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 1: seeing other people?

1017
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 2: Yeah? Are we exclusive?

1018
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 1: Putting me and you and the thing? Right?

1019
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 2: Are we exclusive?

1020
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 1: Because the minute because the man is doing all the things,

1021
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 1: and the minute you ask about a relationship, the relationship

1022
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: kind of ends at that point because they feel like

1023
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 1: somebody's forcing them.

1024
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you could be all in, like you think

1025
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 2: you're in a serious relationship, You've met the family. You know,

1026
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 2: everybody's taking your mama to his mama to her doctor appointments,

1027
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 2: you babysitting his kids, and then you catching with somebody else.

1028
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 2: And he was like, you know what it was for?

1029
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 2: When when it started? We ain't never we never said

1030
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 2: we was like that. We never said we was like that?

1031
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,439
Speaker 2: Did we have to say it? We were doing all

1032
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 2: the things.

1033
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 1: When was this? I think this is when we went

1034
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 1: to the breakfast club. I was dating this guy and

1035
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 1: I really really liked this guy. Man, we was on

1036
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 1: the floe for like eight hours, bitch planning goals. Like

1037
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,399
Speaker 1: though we had never yeah, though we had never said

1038
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: be in a relationship together, we were actually planning out

1039
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 1: like things like life. You know what I'm saying, Oh, I.

1040
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 2: Know who you're talking about.

1041
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:55,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, girl, why the nigga just got engaged? Anyway, you know,

1042
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 1: I still don't know how not your help him play

1043
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: his goals for the next bitch. So baby, I'm just

1044
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: this is just a podcast, right, So anyway, Yeah, I

1045
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,800
Speaker 1: was dating him and I really liked him. But before

1046
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: we went to New York, you know, I kind of

1047
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 1: had that conversation with him like what's up, you know

1048
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And he was like, I want to

1049
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 1: court you more. I'm like, what, like your kids be

1050
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: waking up in the bed with me and all type

1051
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 1: of shit, like we don't need what is courting? I

1052
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:30,319
Speaker 1: think we had a whole episode about this, trying to

1053
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:33,400
Speaker 1: understand like even the fucking steps and dating. It's so

1054
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: confusing because men and women just aren't the same. And

1055
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 1: men think they're so simple, but they are more complicated

1056
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: than the word d okay because what's the definition? So

1057
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 1: they think they are not complex, but they are. So

1058
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: he said he wanted to court me more. Whatever that means,

1059
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 1: I don't know. So from that point on, I knew

1060
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: I was still a free agent.

1061
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, courtymore means like he still wants to date.

1062
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,319
Speaker 1: That's not what it was like he month, you know,

1063
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: weeks later. Now he's trying to explain because my energy

1064
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 1: changed because I literally asked him, you want to be

1065
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 1: my boyfriend like that, and he was like, he want

1066
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 1: to court more. I was like, okay, So when we

1067
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 1: went to New York, I just wasn't as available and

1068
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,439
Speaker 1: the nigga, Now I start seeing something. Now, I see

1069
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,799
Speaker 1: like you got abandonment issues. Damn near because I know

1070
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: I was available, like at your back and call up

1071
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:26,360
Speaker 1: until now. But I'm working.

1072
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:29,359
Speaker 2: So why him saying that he wanted to court you

1073
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 2: more turned you off from it? Because that's because that's

1074
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 2: what I mean. That's not a bad thing.

1075
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: No, it's not a bad thing, but it still leaves me.

1076
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 1: I'm still single, you know what I'm saying. So now

1077
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 1: if I want to talk to somebody else instead of you,

1078
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: if I want to go out on a date with

1079
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 1: someone else instead of you, I should be able to

1080
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 1: do that without you calling my phone a hundred times,

1081
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 1: because that's what he did. And then that's the turnoff

1082
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: to me because I feel like when somebody calls your

1083
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 1: phone multiple times. They it's just a control thing. It

1084
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you, actually, a because if

1085
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 1: I were dead, I wouldn't be able to answer anyway.

1086
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 1: So now you're just trying to get me to answer

1087
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 1: the fucking phone. That is controlling. So now he explored

1088
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: something I didn't like in him. Hold on that bad Yes,

1089
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 1: you just want me to answer? Yeah, I am a

1090
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: grown person. This is my phone. I don't have to answer,

1091
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: especially if you not my man. So why are you

1092
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,760
Speaker 1: calling chain calling my cell phone?

1093
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 2: Because did you see me calling you? Stop playing?

1094
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 1: But you're not my man. You see what I'm saying.

1095
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,320
Speaker 1: But had you had we committed.

1096
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 2: But I think it would be available. You know. I

1097
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 2: like who you're with me.

1098
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 1: I went on a fucking date with another nigga while

1099
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 1: I was there. I remember, Yeah, he don't know that

1100
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 1: now until he watched this episode that guy. Yeah, but whatever,

1101
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,840
Speaker 1: he's engaged, so it's fine.

1102
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 2: But I don't know about that a J.

1103
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 1: I guess maybe a little bit because of man not

1104
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 1: bad off, Like he was doing all the things right

1105
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 1: and he just said I wanted to court you more,

1106
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,720
Speaker 1: and you was like, uh boy, by well, I said,

1107
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,319
Speaker 1: do you want to be my boyfriend, and you told

1108
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: me no essentially, but he didn't court me more. That's no,

1109
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 1: not yet, that's not no. That's weeks later when we

1110
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: talked about it again, he was like, okay, then fuck

1111
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:14,880
Speaker 1: are we together now? And don't get mad when I

1112
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 1: started stalking your ass. That turned me off even more.

1113
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,320
Speaker 2: No, that's a red flag. Don't say nothing about.

1114
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,399
Speaker 1: Stalking, especially to a bet.

1115
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 2: You's be stopped, right, Okay, yeah, so yeah, I don't

1116
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 2: play that because stalking is not a good feeling.

1117
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 1: It's scared. So I don't know. It's just so I

1118
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:36,280
Speaker 1: glad I'm not outside.

1119
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 2: What are the takeaways? How to get comfortable being uncomfortable?

1120
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 2: Practical tips for handling tough talks like a pro timing matters.

1121
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 2: Don't dump everything in the first convo, but don't wait

1122
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 2: too long. Keep it casual but direct, No pressure, just

1123
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 2: open communication. Be honest, not harsh, Say what you mean

1124
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 2: without being me that. I have trouble with that because

1125
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 2: I think, I don't know. I think in my mind

1126
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,839
Speaker 2: it is not mean, but then somebody will be like, girl,

1127
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 2: that was mean as hell the way he said that,

1128
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 2: And in my head I wasn't like I didn't intend it.

1129
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 1: To be mean.

1130
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: I didn't intend it to sound mean, but.

1131
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: And then I don't like that people can pick and

1132
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: choose when it sounds mean because they just don't have

1133
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: a response to it, because I think a lot of

1134
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: times that's.

1135
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 2: What people do.

1136
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 1: It's it's like a scapegoat tactic. You don't like what

1137
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: I say, so now you are dressing tone and how

1138
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 1: I said it. That'd be some bullshit. And my niece

1139
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: is twenty seven. She just we had a conversation this

1140
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: week and she was like, I saw this post on

1141
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 1: Instagram because God, she's dating said that she doesn't know

1142
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 1: how to talk to him right, but he's not doing

1143
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 1: life right right now. So she's like she's challenging him,

1144
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,160
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. She's asking him tough questions

1145
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out what is he doing in

1146
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: his life? And he doesn't like that, yeah, or probably

1147
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 1: just doesn't like what she's asking because it's making them

1148
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 1: have to be accountable. And I think a lot of

1149
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 1: times like people when they don't want to be accountable.

1150
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 1: But what it is that you're asking, and you know me,

1151
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 1: she's trying to get from them, Then they just address

1152
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 1: tone and how you say some shit right versus yeah, okay.

1153
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 2: But I do feel like I do. You know, I'm

1154
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 2: consciously trying to work on how I deliver how I feel,

1155
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 2: especially something I'm passionate and emotional about. It can come

1156
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 2: off harsh, but sometimes I don't mean it to be me.

1157
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 2: I remember one time I was doing this girl's hair,

1158
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 2: and like she would always come in and talk about

1159
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,480
Speaker 2: her nigga and how sorry he was and how bad

1160
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 2: he was and all that stuff. And she came into

1161
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: her appointment and my sister was sitting right there and

1162
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 2: I said, hey, girl, come on, sit down. I was like, gir,

1163
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 2: are you still with that sorry ass nigga? And Tanya

1164
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 2: was like, why did you say that to her?

1165
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: And I was like, that was me because I'm not

1166
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 1: bringing up your sorry ass nigga unless you do. When

1167
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 1: you know somebody fucking with a sorry ass nigg like,

1168
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:02,479
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be there. I didn't even always ask

1169
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 1: you about him, and let you got to bring the

1170
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 1: information to me. I'm not asking you for updates on

1171
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 1: the bullshit you be going through.

1172
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 2: But doing hair, that's all we talk about. Is it's

1173
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 2: like therapy, Like they sit down and unpack on me everything.

1174
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: It's her fault.

1175
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 1: It's her fault. It's not really your fault, because you

1176
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't know he was sorry as a nigga. She wasn't

1177
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 1: sitting there talking shit about her man. Who's dick, She's

1178
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 1: still going to suck on?

1179
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 2: Well, they weren't together no more. She she was like, girl,

1180
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 2: I left and we celebrated that. But my sister was like,

1181
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 2: he was wrong for saying that.

1182
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess you gotta know your personnel.

1183
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:40,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I didn't feel bad about it. She had

1184
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 2: been complaining about that nigga for a while.

1185
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 1: You know, I mean personally me, right, I wouldn't take

1186
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: offense to that, especially if I know I'm talking about

1187
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: this nigga to you, I wouldn't take offense. But then

1188
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 1: you know, maybe.

1189
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 2: And maybe that's why I think my sister probably because

1190
00:59:56,760 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 2: she had been privy to the conversation prior. Okay, yeah, yeah,

1191
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 2: so it's all a yeah, it's all within the context.

1192
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 2: Or here's the next one. Listen and don't assume the worst.

1193
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 2: Not every hard conversation has a bad ending. Yeah. I

1194
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 2: think we you know, we have we have a what's

1195
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:18,600
Speaker 2: the word I'm looking for we we have, We're accustomed

1196
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,479
Speaker 2: to assuming that it's going to be the bad ending

1197
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 2: versus a good conversation or a good outcome. Like I

1198
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 2: honestly think think you took the word recording the wrong.

1199
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 1: Way with that guy, but you had to be there, Yeah,

1200
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: and they'll be there for all the things. Yeah, I

1201
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 1: don't think so, because I don't feel like at that

1202
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 1: point we're in the courding stage like we're doing. You

1203
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, I'm still single, That's what I'm

1204
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:48,919
Speaker 1: hearing when you say that, and you were still singing. Yeah.

1205
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,439
Speaker 1: So the only like he could have left it there, right,

1206
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 1: I guess the only difference is my energy changed a

1207
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 1: little bit, right because I'm not giving you my all anymore? Right,

1208
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:03,960
Speaker 1: so now actively still trying to find a boyfriend that

1209
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 1: I asked you about. Yeah, So, can you feel some

1210
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: type of way to now to where you like busting

1211
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:10,960
Speaker 1: my phone down and shit, you can't do that.

1212
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, that's no, that's fair. Busting your phone down

1213
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 2: is crazy after you told me like we just courting.

1214
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, So, I don't know. At the end of the day, I.

1215
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 2: Think we're that y'all were sleeping together at this point.

1216
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:27,360
Speaker 1: Though, yes, sleeping sleeping together, yeah, even like yeah at

1217
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 1: that point for real, you my whole boyfriend.

1218
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how I feel like, once you start sleeping together,

1219
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 2: we go together. What are you talking about?

1220
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 1: Yeah? But I think the the important conversations like they

1221
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 1: actually separate. You know, you don't want to be wasting time,

1222
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: So get him out the way early. That's how I

1223
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 1: feel about it. So that's my last last. Really, just

1224
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 1: get the conversations out the way. It's gonna separate the

1225
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,880
Speaker 1: real from the fake, real early, because if he's interested

1226
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: in you, there's nothing you can ask him that's gonna

1227
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:54,800
Speaker 1: scare him away.

1228
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 2: Listen, it might cause niggas laugh sometimes and they'll tell

1229
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,919
Speaker 2: you everything you want to hear, even pick out matching

1230
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 2: pajamas with you. Seriously, like they might just tell you

1231
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:10,120
Speaker 2: like the answers that sound good, but at least ask

1232
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 2: the questions. That's my last last. You may not get

1233
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 2: the truth, you know, but hopefully you do.

1234
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:20,960
Speaker 1: And we want to know. Tell us your uncomfortable conversations

1235
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: you've had, first date, second date, third date, and what happened?

1236
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 1: What was the response? Man and woman?

1237
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 2: We want to know or did you wait too long

1238
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 2: to ask those questions and how when they wait too long,

1239
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 2: we want to ask all the shit after we get

1240
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 2: the pussy up.

1241
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 1: No, the man's brain is different at that point, so

1242
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,919
Speaker 1: you got to put all your expectations on the table.

1243
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 1: Day one.

1244
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,280
Speaker 2: First, well, what was the biggest trasher? You don't even

1245
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 2: care about it.

1246
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: Then you get the out of the abord mission. That's

1247
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 1: a whole other episode. When do you smash? Because I mean,

1248
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 1: get it out of the ways so you even know

1249
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 1: if you like this nigga, I feel like that is communication.

1250
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 1: Sex for me is communication.

1251
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:05,400
Speaker 2: We mean, like I say, wait, wait, you will learn

1252
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:07,120
Speaker 2: a lot about a person if you.

1253
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 1: Will let them talk.

1254
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you wait, Yeah, But that still don't mean

1255
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 2: that still don't mean it's gonna turn out. I waited

1256
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 2: with but God talking about I waited and waited and

1257
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 2: waited and still just feelings what you just wanted to

1258
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 2: see your booty hole?

1259
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:27,439
Speaker 1: I think once a nigga see your booty hole is over,

1260
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 1: it's over.

1261
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 2: That's so weird. Say your booty hole?

1262
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 1: All right, y'all listen, click like, and subscribe okay on YouTube.

1263
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday

1264
01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 1: on the Black effect Alheart Radio app, or wherever the

1265
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,320
Speaker 1: fuck you get your podcasts out. This is your co host,

1266
01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:50,400
Speaker 1: A J Holiday two point o Instagrams, kicking y'all.

1267
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 2: I'm official Taan Bama on Instagram. I love y'all so much.

1268
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 2: Remember speak now and should never hold your piece or

1269
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 2: your questions ask them before.

1270
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 1: More podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

1271
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows