1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of My Heart Radio Welcome 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 1: to the Puppies. Wood Dude, Hey, Saron, what's up with Elizabeth? 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:13,239 Speaker 1: I need to set some ground rules for today. This 4 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:18,279 Speaker 1: is Ridiculous Crime. Okay, ridiculous a podcast about absurd and 5 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: outrageous capers, heists, and cons. Okay, got it. It's always 6 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: murder free like Madeline cons more like con artists Madeline 7 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: con and it's ridiculous ridiculous. We love awards shows, don't 8 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: we feel Oh my god, do we have a producer, Dave? 9 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: Don't we love them? Love them. It's fun to look 10 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: back at the past year of entertainment and rank things, 11 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: giving them arbitrary value. I love numbers, Zaren. What's your 12 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: favorite awards show? I'm so glad you asked that, Elizabeth. 13 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: I'd say my favorite awards show and I thought a 14 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 1: lot about this is possibly Car and Driver Car of 15 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: the Year, but then also anyone who beats their five 16 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: year or ten year lipper average. There a winner in 17 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: my book, but also the big Butt of the Week 18 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: award on the Chris Simms un Buttoned Podcast. Okay, that's great. 19 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: Things are my awards. That's so good for you. That's cool. 20 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: I'm happy for me. I am too. What are your 21 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: favorite awards for me? I like it all for you. 22 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: I think America's Most Wanted. Oh, a very good one 23 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: for great award. I've seen that show. Yes, um, speaking 24 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: of ridiculous crying here at ridiculous crime. We debuted in February. 25 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: Hasn't even been a full year yet, people, it's been 26 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: nothing but a ridicular listeners ever since we've been keeping it. 27 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: We have a high standard, you know what, So we figured, 28 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: why not, why not us? Why not? How about let's 29 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 1: talk about us. Let's hold our own awards show. Why not? 30 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: Kids were putting on an awards show, and we're going 31 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: to call it the Purpis. We shine this one up 32 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: for you. I've got purpies. We've got purpies for you. 33 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: A perpetrator, Oh okay, that's yes, Yeah, so that's what 34 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: this is. This is the Purpes. I'm so just excited 35 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: to be a part of the Purpies. I mean, I 36 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: have wanted to give people purpis for so long. You're 37 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: gonna be You're going to be giving a lot of 38 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 1: people peries. Yeah, I know. And our crack staff here 39 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: a ridiculous Crime Headquarters. They have done I mean they 40 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: have busted their behind, Elizabeth. They have analyzed all of 41 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: our episodes from this year and prior years that didn't exist, 42 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 1: and they developed some fantastic categories. And then you and 43 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: I we came up with a grating rubric. Producer Dave 44 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: approved our grading rubric, and we determined the winners for 45 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: each category. It was all scientiature. We all wore lab coats. Yes, 46 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: we did nothing underneath. Yes that's true. I'm still wearing 47 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: nothing underneath. Now for the awards ceremony, you bought all 48 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: of that sparkly fabric. I'm talking like bolts and bolts 49 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: of a deal in University Avenue for giant drapes for 50 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: the stage where right here where we are, they are 51 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: not stolen. Well, let's hope so. Because we're here in 52 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: the ridiculous Crime Headquarters auditorium, beautiful people have spent hours 53 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: draping this fabric. I've been muffling the air conditioning. Here's 54 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: the thing. No one's going to be able to see them. 55 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: What do you mean they can't see us? What do 56 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: you mean? They can use your imagination? People? And it's beautiful, 57 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: It's luxurious, it's bolts of fabric that are sparkly picturate. 58 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: Close your eyes, close your eyes, my eyes of clothes 59 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: picturing drapes. Now they can see it. You see that. 60 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: You have to have the magic of imagination. Well, what 61 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: should we do about all these dancers though, because I mean, 62 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: I know they can't see my dres but the dancers 63 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: they deserve to be felt. I mean, they've been waiting 64 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: in the cafeteria for their que and I don't see 65 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: the one of having them come out here if they 66 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 1: can't see them. Well, you know, we did put together 67 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: that little musicals all right, Andy coreygraphs. Alright, let's call 68 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: them out here. I mean, come on, bring it up, alright, 69 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: five six seven, they hit it boys with children that 70 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:38,480 Speaker 1: we celebrate the majesty of time with the puppies. You 71 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: have me the puppies. You know what's special about this show? 72 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: This show? Yeah, we're just like the NFL. We're just 73 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: like the NF. Lots of CTE injuries yes, bad lawyers yes, 74 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: and crimes. Just like the NFL. We've miked up everyone involved, everybody, 75 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: so you're gonna be able to hear are there every 76 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: utterance throughout the whole show. Even if they're not on stage, 77 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: that means that they're in the bathroom, right Elizabeth. Yes, 78 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: And now, ladies and gentlemen, your host for the evening, 79 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: Producer Dave, let's let's get ready to pour be Look 80 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: at all these beautiful people. You know what. We can't 81 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: lie to these people anymore. This is not ridiculous crime. 82 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: It is not a podcast about absurd and ridiculous Cooper's 83 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: huts and cans. No, people, this is the illustrious Purpies. 84 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: Put it on. Put it on for these people. Put 85 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: it off of your city. An award show dedicated to 86 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: celebrating the cream of the caper crop, the U s 87 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: d A Choice, heists, and the kings of all cons. 88 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: I can tell it's going to be a long night. 89 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: Yes it is, Dave. Interns are already asleep at their clipboards, 90 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 1: and they're the ones who are running things. So we're 91 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: in trouble. As you can see, I'm wearing my usual 92 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: production attire. I decided to take off my formal wear, 93 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: so I've got my gold lemy tail suit and these 94 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: nice gold tights. Fantastic, look, my man, I'm telling you, yeah, 95 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: So I can move around and I'm just doing some 96 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: last minute stretches here and then I'm going to join 97 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: the chorus for our first medley number. This is going 98 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: to be a show stopper, Yes it is. But first 99 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: to present our very first award, we have Zerman Bert Blots, 100 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: co host of Ridiculous Crime. Oh, I'm so excited to 101 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 1: give this one away. I haven't given an award away 102 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: since I had to give it back to the police. 103 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,600 Speaker 1: But okay, this one is for best botch Robbery. Our 104 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: first nominee is Attila M. Bruce. He's wearing a very 105 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: obviously cheap, long grown wig and you know, who are 106 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: you to judge? Just let him do his thing. I mean, 107 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 1: you're wearing ladies panties under your quarter right hands, so 108 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: I don't they don't even fit, just crushed up to 109 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: the front of my show. Our second nominee is Willie Sutton. 110 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: Kind of drifts around for a while. He winds up 111 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: getting a job at the Ptmoors Shipyard as an apprentice burner. 112 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: What's nice hand? I like that. I know a lot 113 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: of people have been apprentice burners. I know some actual 114 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: journeyman burners, then some full unionized burners. I know you 115 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: do and Our final nominee is Red One Fight Odd. 116 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: I love Red One. He's just like the one I'm 117 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: gonna quote Radon't fight here forgive my French accents. Recently, 118 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: journalists asked me, you know you had a big criminal 119 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: career and you did it yourself. You are ourself thoughts. 120 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: I told them no, I had a technical advisor, a 121 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: college teacher, a kind of mentor, and his name is 122 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: Michael Man. Okay, I'm going to open this envelope and 123 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 1: let's see. The first puppy from tonight's award goes to 124 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: Ottawa Ambross, Attila Ambruise and Uh. Tilla Ambrus is unfortunately 125 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 1: not able to attend tonight, so I will have to 126 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: accept the award on his behalf. But luckily I've prepared 127 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: a speech. Well, I'm so glad to be here as 128 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: a Tilla Ambrus, and I'd like to thank my giant shoes. Um. 129 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: I'd like to thank the makers of fake toy guns. 130 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: Without them, I wouldn't be able to do these bank robberies. 131 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: I'd also like to thank the Camel Cigarette Company for 132 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: making the Joe Campbell Duffle bag, which I kept all 133 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: of my cash in for my very first robbery. It 134 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: has been a lucky charm. Then shaving my mustache while 135 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: I run away, I had to thank disposable razor companies 136 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 1: always important. You want to look your best when you've 137 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 1: just robbed somebody. Now until Ambrus, the drunken bank robber, 138 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: you know me was unlike anyone else in the category, 139 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 1: so I didn't have to take any of this seriously. 140 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. But I'd also like to thank 141 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: my fellow nominees Willie Sutton. He was a smooth, clean 142 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: pro We're don't fight or I'm sorry, red Wan whatever 143 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 1: it is, cinematic guy loved that for him, Larger than life, 144 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: driven by ego and ambition. But you know, at one 145 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 1: point I have to say, if a man could have 146 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: made a plan more cinematic, I don't know how. I mean. Yes, 147 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 1: did I flee in clown shoes, yes I did. It. 148 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: Was I dry shaving my face with a dissable razor, 149 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,079 Speaker 1: yes I did literally while I was on the run, 150 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: of course, But I never did that with a helicopter, 151 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: so don't I'm surprised I was able to beat you 152 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: with this one. But thank you so much. And I'd 153 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: also like to thank the detective who called me lucky 154 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: and I then had to dress up like him to 155 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: prove it was more than just luck. This one goes 156 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: out to you, buddy. Also, I'd liked to thank all 157 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: the professional goalies for hockey teams out there. You've inspired 158 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: me and I hope I inspired you. And that is 159 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: my speech. Thank you all. I am a legend. Jeez. 160 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: I mean, do you think that uh, robbing the same 161 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: corn exchange twice would get you an award or something? 162 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,439 Speaker 1: But this is a tough room top top room day. 163 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm telling you, well, great work, everybody. And now for 164 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 1: our very first dancement, I think that's my back Elliott Bear, 165 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: move go, move on next night, noe next No, not that, yep, 166 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: go go go yep? Not no, not yep? Okay, okay 167 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: next perp. I guess now to present our next award, 168 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 1: the co host of Ridiculous Crime, Eliza Douche Coo. Hey, everybody, 169 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: I am so excited to be here to present the 170 00:10:54,920 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: award for best Kidnapping, fake or otherwise. The nominees are 171 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: David Hampton Butler, so you tell him. Look, I'll find 172 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,319 Speaker 1: a new ride from here. I'm good. I'm almost home. 173 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 1: They're like, all right, cool David Hampton, butther seniors like 174 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,679 Speaker 1: points at you. I'm stuck because I'm still imagining like 175 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: green bales of hay or they're in like that, like 176 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 1: um coffee sack, damned pot, p duby Colombian pot, Abraham 177 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 1: Lincoln's body. Go down to Springfield, set up a fake bar. 178 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,440 Speaker 1: You and the boys. They'll be the customers. Get yourself, 179 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: some sex workers, get some clientele, going get the whole thing, 180 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 1: like where people believe you. And then when I tell 181 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: you on the day before the fourth of July, go 182 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 1: and steal Lincoln's body. He's like, all right, frank Sinatra Jr. 183 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: I'll be a delivery man. So he takes a wine box, 184 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: fills up with pine cones he gathers from like just trees, 185 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: and it goes up and knocks on the door. It's 186 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: like a Martha's Stewart. Yeah. He's like, I gotta delivery 187 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 1: exact here the pine counes, the decorative What if he 188 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: opens the door and Frankie Junior is like, oh, I've 189 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: been waiting on those and just like starts chewing them 190 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 1: up and I'm not dead. The lady whose husband wanted 191 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: a killer. That's got to be like just the weirdest, 192 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: grossest moment. You're imagine what people are gonna do with 193 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: your body. It's been turned in rendered into a body. 194 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, haven't we all had to 195 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: do that at some point. And the purpe goes to 196 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 1: Frank Sinatra Junior for best kidnapping fake or otherwise. I 197 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: did because I had the card here. Yeah, right, so 198 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 1: let me just let me just give my perspective on 199 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: this if I may. Frank Sinatra Junior not here to 200 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: accept this award, but I think that it's important to 201 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: know David Hampton Butler Jr. Made David Hampton Butler Senior 202 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: think that David Hampton Butler Junior was kidnapped. Not the 203 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: case ridiculous, but yeah, kidnapping the country's most famous dead 204 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: body at the time ridiculous. It's ridiculous a while, but 205 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,319 Speaker 1: still stale. People forget it's ridiculous to kidnap a woman 206 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: as part of like the plot to kill her, but 207 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 1: then befriend her and protect her and ultimately help her 208 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: get her revenge, become her buddy. Amazing. I mean, that's 209 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: like better than having a pen pal. Having a kidnapal, 210 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: but for the kidnapping of Frank Sinatra Junr. They had 211 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 1: kidnap pals. What's so amazing it makes it such a 212 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: clear cut winner. Here is that almost everything went wrong, 213 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,719 Speaker 1: but it's just so right, saren. It just feels right. 214 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 1: Even Frank Sinatra Junior wanted to be getting on it. 215 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: He's like, let me help kidnap me. They had failed 216 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: dry runs, they had an abalone diver. Come on, we 217 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: come on now, budding friendships between the kidnapper and the kidnappy. 218 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 1: Frank effing Sinatra pills booze Hno, it had it all 219 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:49,839 Speaker 1: fried chicken in their underwear, right, strangers, Obviously that makes sense. 220 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 1: Why the best kidnapping faker, otherwise Perpy goes to Frank 221 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: Sinatra Jr. So fun, this is so you know what? 222 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: You know, what's Aaron? You know what? Eliza? But this 223 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: is so fun right now. I'm having so much fun 224 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 1: right now. I love this. You can't spell fun without fu, 225 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: you know that, guys. I always, you know, I always 226 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: say I wish the purpies would just go on forever. 227 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: You really do. Put the purp in purpies day. My 228 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: purpoes are up. Next up, we have an award presented 229 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: by none other than six times Super Bowl m v 230 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: P Zaren Burnett says, it's me. I'm so happy to 231 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,479 Speaker 1: be here, but then again, I'm happy to be anywhere. 232 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: So let's see best action sequence. Okay, let me open 233 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: the envelope for our first nominee, red Wan Fiet and 234 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: second Texas Mascot Theft, third Breeders Cup, and finally the 235 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 1: funky one are no food. K Okay opening the envelope 236 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: and the perpy goes to me. No, I'm just kidding people, 237 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: and I wasn't even on the list. No, it goes 238 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 1: to Texas mascot Theft Texas on behalf of the state 239 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:13,080 Speaker 1: of Texas universities. I will be accepting the award, and Hi, 240 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: I am so honored. You guys. This is just touches me. 241 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: I mean, for one, I don't remember at all because 242 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: I wasn't there, but the Daring Midnight Rate it touched me. 243 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,480 Speaker 1: It moved me. When I listened to that episode, I 244 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: was on that military campus. When you listen to you 245 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 1: tell the story, I was amazed. I was just riveted. 246 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 1: I took me there and I deposited me there. And 247 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: left me there in a state of just agog amazed me. 248 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: How could I not know where I was going with 249 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: that story? And yet I did? And you know when 250 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: we got to the end, I was just as impressed 251 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 1: and amazed as anybody. I'm like, they burned the owl. 252 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: I mean there was hunters and prank wars and donuts 253 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: and and in nineteen tens cars, i mean it just 254 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: had everything. And then that the Private Detective Snowball. I'm 255 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: over here just giggling thinking of me telling the story. 256 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you I can see why that one won. 257 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: Thank you everybody. I'm gonna I'm gonna treasure this. What 258 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: was the name of that stuff that was? Like the 259 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: stuffing particularly, I have some in my pockets here with 260 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: the invitation. Crab meat. That's the real winner tonight. It 261 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: keeps it dry. Hey, you know what, congrats to all 262 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: the winners so far. That's so great and they're so great, 263 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: just greatness. It's like it's just great. I think I'm 264 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: feeling better. Guys like I think I can get their 265 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: first met go back. Yeah, Limber, I've got my got 266 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: my brass monkey. I'm I'm good. Can we kee you up? 267 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: The full company. Let's get this going, not just yet, Okay, 268 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: I just want to stop and say, we couldn't do 269 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: this without a couple of people out there, and that's 270 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: our advertisers. So let's take a break. Let's let those 271 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: crazy kids get their beak sweat Tampa to the max 272 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 1: with tampas on the other side. Everybody back after this 273 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: places everybody, Hey, hi, hello, is this yes? I can 274 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 1: hear you? Saron? Did you forget to hit record again again? Again? 275 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I was hitting record? What did you say? 276 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 1: Let me tell you you are going to love this 277 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 1: first medley. I've been working with Denny Arrio for months 278 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: and I'm all warmed up. I'm ready to go. So 279 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: without further ado, let me tear off my breakaway slacks 280 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: and let hang on. Uh, Elliott's to my earpiece again? 281 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: What it's cut? I'm taking too long. You can't be serious. 282 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: This is my time to shine. Well maybe we can 283 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 1: fit it at the end. Yeah, oh yeah, there are 284 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:30,639 Speaker 1: times those games. Oh yeah, all right. Now, it takes 285 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: two people to play Connect four, and it takes two 286 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: percenters to give out the next award. Please welcome the 287 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 1: star of the hit film Aviator Zarin Burnett and none 288 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 1: other than former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Everybody, 289 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 1: Secretary Albright is so glad to be here with you 290 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: for someone who died nine months ago. You smell fantastic 291 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: y about it. So, Madeline, did you want to read 292 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:04,920 Speaker 1: our nominees? So you're saying no, okay, then I'll take 293 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 1: this one, ads, okay. Best celebrity crime are nominees for 294 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: the Perpy r Billy Idol rent jet skis and play 295 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 1: Chicken on them well naked. So they're playing Chicken, and 296 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 1: of course Billie crashes and sings cheski. Jose and Ozzie 297 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: canseco quote spend the afternoon afternoon with Jose at his 298 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: house in South Florida. Ideas for activities, private power hitting instruction, 299 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 1: private martial arts instruction, work out with Jose and cook 300 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:46,199 Speaker 1: out by the pool, Willie and whalen You ahead, am 301 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: I Walter Mondale? No, not in this instance. Normally, normally 302 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 1: would Mondale and most of my causeplay. And lastly, Frank 303 00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 1: Sinatra Junior fried Chicken and the Purpy goes to Billy Ideal. 304 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 1: Oh look at that people, it is Billy Idol. Secretary Albright. Dude, 305 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: would you like to say a few things. I'm a secretary, 306 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: very good secretary, Albright. Okay, let's see. You know what 307 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,120 Speaker 1: I think people need to focus on with this Billy 308 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: Idol story. And unfortunately Billy Idol is not here to 309 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: accept the purpy, so I will be accepting it on 310 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: his behalf. And he did email me a couple of 311 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 1: comments to share. So I'll be reading here from an 312 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: email from Billy Idol. Oh you know, let's reading. Yes, 313 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: it's it's said, all righty oh, there you go. That's 314 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: the email. So I'll take um crime. It's so much 315 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 1: fun and I think when a star is involved, it 316 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: just pops more right. I think we can all agree 317 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 1: about that. So Billy Idol pretty much wiped this category 318 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 1: with is backside, because who can go more reckless, more wild, 319 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 1: just more naked and stupid than Billy Idol. Not only 320 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: do drugs not only work on him, he works on drugs. 321 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,400 Speaker 1: So the Conseco Brothers, yeah, they're fancy, they're fun, they're 322 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: full of themselves, but you know they're also not dedicated 323 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: to the crime life the way Billy Idol is. And 324 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 1: then William Whalen, Yeah, sure, they smuggle drugs across state lines. Sure, 325 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: they'll also hide cocaine from the FBI. But where is 326 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: the Thie army and all of that? That's what I 327 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: want to know. That's a good question. It's always where 328 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 1: I'm asking, which is I'm sorry, I don't see the 329 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 1: Thai army in any of this. This is clearly not 330 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: good in my book. Now. Also, I mean, how about 331 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 1: Mel Gibson swearing at a Mel Gibson while you're in 332 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 1: a cuddle puddle of your own filth and vomit. Gibson, 333 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: just like one of the many that are the Australian 334 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 1: Gibson's north Men can Mill Gibson's. They're rare Tensanian Mel Gibson. Now, 335 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: the jet skiing naked was probably my favorite part, but 336 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if people understand that this also gave 337 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: us one of our favorite little bits on Ridiculous Crime Effluvium, 338 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: which is their name for our fans. The Rude Dudes 339 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,239 Speaker 1: came from the Billy Idol episode, So what's here it for? 340 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,160 Speaker 1: Billy Idol has blonde tresses and you the Rude Dude 341 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: Nation Celebrity Crime yea yea d wow, so good, so good, 342 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 1: and Madeline. All right, it's so good to see you again. 343 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 1: I she was so giving with her whole self, you know, 344 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 1: her entire self, you know, Zaron. Some people say, hey, Dave, 345 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: who's the next presenter? That's me. I say that, Hey Dave, 346 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: who is the next presenter? That's right, you do, And 347 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: I say, the next presenter is none other than the 348 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 1: greatest star of stage and screen ever to have worked 349 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,719 Speaker 1: in a Walgreens. Please welcome the star of the hit 350 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 1: movie Skyfall. Elizabeth. Hey, hey, I'm right here. He's not great. 351 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 1: It's Elizabeth. I'm right here. I'm here to present the 352 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 1: Purpy for best Animal Related Crime, you know me and 353 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: Animal Good category. The nominees are catch Shaver. Soa someone 354 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: had also done this to her daughter, TIA's cat. Oh, 355 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: I thought you're gonna say to We're daughter Tia. She's like, oh, 356 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 1: we go to the cup and then you know, this 357 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: little girl came back with a chunk out of her hair. 358 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 1: But anyway, the cat gotta shade that cat. Dave stolen 359 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: FIFA cup. Oh snap, it's the World Cup and Pickles 360 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 1: has told you just never listen. Nobody listens. Pickles the 361 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: dog detect Pablo Escobar's hippos. Hippos were like, man, y'all 362 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 1: didn't even know how much we love Colombia. Oh Son, 363 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 1: y'all messed up. Now we are cocaine. You can't stop us. 364 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: Picked us for really good reasons. Gerald the Turkey, they go. 365 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 1: All we have to do is capture and re home 366 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 1: Gerald the Turkey. Simple job, not a problem. Of course, 367 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 1: it becomes a problem, but this time is not because 368 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 1: of people. It's because of Gerald. Now I've been asked 369 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: by the authorities just to confirm our certification. Here. Were 370 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 1: any animals harmed in any of these crimes? Yes, I 371 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: think we got to wrap it up. Okay, appreciate that 372 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: the winner is for best animal related crime. The purpose 373 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 1: goes to stolen FIFA Cup. I did not see that Pickles, 374 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:55,400 Speaker 1: I Pickles, Animals, Pets, Wild Creatures World Cup. This category 375 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: had at all fellas and so while denuded cats are 376 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: pretty ridiculous, shaved kitties, uh, the cocaine moguls buying the 377 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: best hippos ridiculous quality, heavy duty hippo. It's great when 378 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 1: the biggest threat to a city is a turkey. Turkey Yeah, 379 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 1: very mad, but there's no beating the detective skills of 380 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 1: d C I Pickles. Pickles helped retrieve the missing FIFA 381 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 1: World Cup trophy and that allowed Messy to hoist it 382 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: with confidence in pride today. So thank you, Pickles. There 383 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 1: you go. I love Pickles. He's my favorite member of 384 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:37,640 Speaker 1: the Flying Squad, more like the Wagging Squad. Am I right, yeah, 385 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: you got me. I love animals. Our next presenter was 386 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,920 Speaker 1: the first Nobel Prize winner to own his own chain 387 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 1: of fast casual restaurants. Please welcome critically acclaimed economists and 388 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: host of Live p d Zurban Bromott. I'm Surban Bromat 389 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 1: here and I wanted to say, have you considered salted meats? 390 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,880 Speaker 1: Come on down to Jimmy Jews for the salted meat 391 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:06,720 Speaker 1: extravaganza that you want in your desserts. Salt meats, They're 392 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: not just for breakfast anymore. Okay, I'm glad to present 393 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:14,120 Speaker 1: this award. It looks like I've been given Best Hair 394 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 1: and Costuming. Now, this category had to be combined because 395 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: of time constraints, so the teamsters insisted that we combined 396 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 1: this one on union regulations. So Best Hair and Costuming 397 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: here to present. It's me Yeah, okay, here we go. 398 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 1: Our first nominee is Guy Fiery, Our second nominee is 399 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:46,680 Speaker 1: Billy I Doll, The third nominee is bum far Too, 400 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 1: and finally, our last nominee is Yellow Kid Wheel while 401 00:26:55,000 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 1: Vile Veil Veil, Thank you Dave. Okay, now, this category, 402 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 1: this was a close one. I personally voted on this one. 403 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 1: I was asked to cast the deciding votes, so I 404 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: already know the winner is. But I'm gonna open the envelope. Now, 405 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: everybody see your edge, your seats, seed, your edges. Okay, 406 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: here we go. Uh it looks like, oh my goodness, 407 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 1: I was wrong. I didn't cast the deciding vote. I 408 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 1: forgot to. It's a tie, people, We have a tie 409 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: between Guy Fiery and Bump far Too so Billy Idol, 410 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: but we all know him Bleach blonde tresses, majestic spikes, 411 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: Guy Fiery, blonde tresses, spikes, but he takes it to 412 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,439 Speaker 1: a whole new Yeah. I mean, they really are. They 413 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: could play each other in a movie, their friends they like. 414 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 1: I would love to see them braid each other's hair 415 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 1: and just talk hair. See someone braid their hair together 416 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,639 Speaker 1: and just like bathing and just like hanging out. Stuck together, 417 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,680 Speaker 1: and I have to turn the hose on them. Now, 418 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,679 Speaker 1: if you try to imagine guy fiery without his frosted tips, 419 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,439 Speaker 1: you end up with something that is unholy. Yes, so 420 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: don't do that. Let's just keep everything fashion clear your mind. Now, 421 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,640 Speaker 1: it's like it's like an army guy without camouflage exactly. 422 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:14,160 Speaker 1: My point is, let's be honest. Fashion it requires one thing, 423 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,040 Speaker 1: and one thing only close exactly, Elizabeth close. Now the 424 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: other thing that it counts because I lied to you, 425 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 1: is it counts. It needs two things. Clothes and bravery. Yes, yes, bravery, 426 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,360 Speaker 1: the bravery to wear clothes and wear clothes. Other people say, hey, man, 427 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: don't wear those clothes. And you're like, I'm wearing those clothes. Hey, 428 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: you should probably wash those clothes. Yeah, like those clothes stink. 429 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: You need to get out of my car. I'm like, no, 430 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 1: this is fashion. Fashion requires risk, and that's why I 431 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 1: like to bring up the French. The French no risk, 432 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,959 Speaker 1: like nobody's business. They're like, I'm going to do this, 433 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm French. They invented the board game risk, yeah, 434 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: and they invented French. Yes. So I mean they're really 435 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 1: way out in front now nothing is riskier than red 436 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: on red on red, especially are the roll in sixties? Now, 437 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: did you leave a little gold sprinkled all over for 438 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 1: good luck? In China? Red is good luck? Not so 439 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 1: much in some parts of idol. An you wait, you 440 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,280 Speaker 1: know what. I'm going to get back to the point 441 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: yellow kid while he got busted because he was so 442 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: well dressed, and I think that's the point we should 443 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: end on be well dressed. All right, everyone, thank you 444 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 1: for having me. Well you can say that again, Okay, everybody, 445 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 1: folks listening at home, folks in the audience, We would 446 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: like to take a moment and honor those in the 447 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: Ridiculous crime universe who we've lost in the past year. 448 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: Did we put them somewhere? Can we find them? We 449 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,320 Speaker 1: can get them back? Right, they're in the buffer somewhere. 450 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 1: What do you mean, car gone gone like the gone 451 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: curl rainbow bridge buddy? Oh no, yeah? Uh so if 452 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: you please bow your heads as we display a scrolling 453 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: in memorium screen that you can't see powerful stuff. Some 454 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 1: say too soon, and I say way too soon, but 455 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: still murder free? These were These were not murders, No, 456 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: none of them. Well point one one, I didn't do it. 457 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 1: That you released was really beautiful, Zarin. I did do 458 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 1: that part that was was going to go on next 459 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: year's in memorial real. That's okay, sorry again, not a murder. 460 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: I didn't see the police helicopter. Okay, let's pull it together. 461 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:48,400 Speaker 1: I'll give you a moment here to percent. Our next 462 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,480 Speaker 1: award is the reigning Miss Team USA, an inventor of 463 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: the Drino Smoothie, Elizabeth Dutton. Hi, thank you so much. Um, 464 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: I'm super excited I did to present this next award. 465 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 1: It is a very important one, maybe the most important 466 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: that we have here. It's Best Escape. It's the PUP 467 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: for Best Escape. The nominees are Greek Robin Hood, Redoned 468 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 1: faed Are No Funka, Willie Sutton, and the winner is 469 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:31,720 Speaker 1: Perpy for Best Escape, Greek Robin Hood and Rode another time. 470 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 1: This is amazing. Okay, so we've got Greek Robin Hood 471 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: and French Robin Hood, two p's in the same helicopter 472 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:44,280 Speaker 1: jailbreaking pod, both men daring escapes multiple times. Both men 473 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 1: studied eighties films to craft their criminal personas and their 474 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: modus upper and I, um, it's pretty much impossible to 475 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 1: pick one or the other. I would say, we don't 476 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 1: have to because we get to celebrate them both. Why 477 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,480 Speaker 1: I want to go into Oh they're playing me off? Okay, um, 478 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,840 Speaker 1: well that's it. That one was the tie Great Guitar 479 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: Music Though. To present our next award, we are lucky 480 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 1: to have a living legend here with us, creator of 481 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 1: the History Channel, three time p g A champ, and 482 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: popular recording artist Zaren Burnett. He's really here, He's here 483 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 1: right now? Does he look like? How do can we 484 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 1: see him? He looks crazy? Just don't look him in 485 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 1: the eye. Okay, Well, I'm glad to be here because 486 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 1: it's me. I'm me. So I have been given the 487 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: best drugs. No, I'm sorry, I read that wrong, best 488 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: drug Crime. I already had the best drugs when I 489 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 1: got here. So Best Drug Crime Award this year goes 490 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 1: to one of four nominees now apparently they are this 491 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: is no surprise, Billy Idol and oh this guy's got 492 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: to be a front runner PCP Superspy, and another one 493 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: Coke Boat. And our last nominee for the PURP is 494 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 1: The Brotherhood of Eternal Love Parts one and two. Mm hmm. Okay, 495 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 1: now let me find my drugs. Okay, let me open this. 496 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 1: That's better, right? Oh man, I think I'm need a 497 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 1: little more drugspas on second. Okay, now I got this 498 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: one all right, Now we go here. You know, winners 499 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 1: are such an arbitrary thing because I mean, like you're 500 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: a winner today, I could be a winning torow Amy. 501 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 1: Who isn't a winner? All winners really, I think when 502 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,720 Speaker 1: we get down to it. But the winner of this 503 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 1: one is Brotherhood of Eternal Love volume Wanted two. I'll 504 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,760 Speaker 1: be glad to accept this award and any drugs that 505 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: come along with it on their behalf. Thank you so much. 506 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: One thing you know that I love. When I listened 507 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 1: to those episodes Brotherhood of Eternal Love, they really focused 508 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: on things that I can get behind, like Yes or 509 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 1: Ara Fat and the p l O or Jimmy Hendricks 510 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 1: and concert films, Timothy Leary and you know, escaping prison, 511 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 1: things that I can relate to as somebody who supports 512 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,840 Speaker 1: both the Black Panthers and LSD fueled Christmas parties. The 513 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 1: episode episodes with an ask that both of them really 514 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,400 Speaker 1: struck me where the drugs are right in the surf culture. 515 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 1: They hit me right where the hippie lives inside of 516 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,320 Speaker 1: me and I I said yes, just like I would 517 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,839 Speaker 1: to drugs. So yes, drugs. I think we all want 518 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:37,200 Speaker 1: so thank you all, and uh, I'm gonna keep this award. Okay, goodbye, Yeah, 519 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 1: yeah yeah, drugs, drugs, drugs. That's great for you. Good 520 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,600 Speaker 1: job you gave the ord to the drugs as you 521 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 1: expected to. She's the least surprising award of the whole night. Well, 522 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 1: on that note, I'm getting the high sign over here 523 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 1: from Elliott. We're gonna need to go to break. Will 524 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,920 Speaker 1: we be back? Who knows more? A ward? Look out, mama, here, 525 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 1: come to mads and we're back. Yep. Underpants expert ESPN 526 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 1: seven's ballet color commentator and magician to the stars, Zircon Bernos. Hi, everybody, 527 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,880 Speaker 1: it's me Burns. I have floated out here. Can you 528 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:45,040 Speaker 1: see my feet? Ah? This is magic? Okay, magic people. 529 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 1: Now I want to give you a lesson in weird crime. 530 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:54,360 Speaker 1: I am here to read the nominees for Weirdest Crime 531 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: this year. We have link Ho bad Singing, and we 532 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:05,800 Speaker 1: have Max Headroom, and we have glass eballs and finally, 533 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,239 Speaker 1: Joe cock Are No. No, I'm sorry I misread that 534 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:14,200 Speaker 1: that was on my hand, theft of golden toilet, all right, 535 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,160 Speaker 1: now the envelope, the envelope. Okay, I'm just going to 536 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 1: Tuesday winner on my own. You know what it is, 537 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:25,960 Speaker 1: my choice, Okay, I say the winner is Max Headroom. 538 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: I can remember on the type of my ship. So 539 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,439 Speaker 1: around these parts, you know, we like things to get weird. 540 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,360 Speaker 1: Like the accent I'm doing now just weird, you know, 541 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 1: like where is that from? I don't know, we don't know. 542 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 1: He's That's how we get down. Okay, so it getting 543 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 1: busted for singing badly, try weird, you know, smuggling glass 544 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:52,640 Speaker 1: eyeballs into America, so weird man stealing a golden toilet 545 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,399 Speaker 1: doubly weird. But the weirdest crimer we had to cover 546 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,719 Speaker 1: in All twenty two is hands up and hands it 547 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:04,880 Speaker 1: down on the Max Headroom signal interruption crime. That creepy 548 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 1: video alone. Man, it's just staying in my head for 549 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 1: three you know, well, are you thinking you? I love 550 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 1: this award. I will give it to a Maximum Headroom. 551 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 1: All right, thank you, bye, totally Here to present the 552 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,319 Speaker 1: next award is Grammy Award Winning Recording Artists in two 553 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:28,880 Speaker 1: thousand three, Golden Glove winner e Beth Dots. Hey, guys, 554 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 1: I've been sitting here the whole time, but I'm back. 555 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 1: I want to present the next award. Can I do that? Please? 556 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 1: Thank you quiet? The next award is best Plane Crime 557 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:48,719 Speaker 1: like plane like normal, like brown rapper crime guys, aeronautic 558 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,320 Speaker 1: flying in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it 559 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:57,839 Speaker 1: a plane? Notes? Effing crime of our burdon? So the best. 560 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,799 Speaker 1: So the nominees for the Purpi for Best Plane Crime, 561 00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 1: that's aeronautics guys, a air rage, Tommy Fits, Garrett Brock, 562 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 1: Trapnell and the crate escape. Oh I love this category. 563 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,200 Speaker 1: I did food guys. And the winner of the Purpy 564 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:24,960 Speaker 1: for Best Plane Crime goes to Tommy Fits. Oh I 565 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:29,279 Speaker 1: did not seem nice. That's a good one. I mean 566 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,600 Speaker 1: I had my money on Trapnell, but I can see 567 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,120 Speaker 1: Fits for sure. Well, you know who wasn't skyjacking in 568 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,759 Speaker 1: the seventies. It wasn't that unique, Yeah, and it was 569 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,480 Speaker 1: pretty much just I think Chairman Mao wasn't. And my 570 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,080 Speaker 1: neighbor Dorothy, that's it. Those are the only two people 571 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,440 Speaker 1: so like. And you know, guy pooping on a plane, 572 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,360 Speaker 1: that's funny, but anyone can do that. Stradlin could do 573 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: that multiple times and then Homie and the crate whatever, 574 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,520 Speaker 1: How hard is it to get into a crate? Exactly? 575 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:59,760 Speaker 1: We've all done it. A big deal. Tommy fits pilots pilot, brave, 576 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,840 Speaker 1: fearless flyer. He's the drunk's idea of a hero totally. 577 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 1: Not only is he a pilot's pilot, but he's a 578 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:09,080 Speaker 1: drunk drunk exactly, and he stole a plane landed it 579 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:10,800 Speaker 1: on a New York street to win a bet. What 580 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: more do I need to say? How many times did 581 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,280 Speaker 1: he do that? Elizabeth? He did it twice? Oh my goodness, 582 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 1: so damn cool? He did it twice? Did it twice? 583 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:23,800 Speaker 1: I rest my case, overruled and remanded, Wow, did not 584 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 1: see that? Cow? Many people? He's getting dicey. Here to 585 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,279 Speaker 1: present our next award is five star luxury Resort and SPA. 586 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:36,200 Speaker 1: That's right, Zaren Burnett's Hey, Hi, I'm a five star 587 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: luxury resort. Please come stay in me now. I am 588 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:45,399 Speaker 1: here to read the nominees for Best Train Crime, which 589 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,840 Speaker 1: I'm being told is not what I thought it was. Okay. 590 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 1: The nominees are Billy Minor, Great Train Robbery and Brian 591 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:03,800 Speaker 1: Robson Ish, rob Rob Finish, did you refuse from this 592 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 1: one because you like trains too much? I just if 593 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 1: I got started talking about trains, it's just never going 594 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 1: to stop and we're already going to run long. So 595 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,080 Speaker 1: we were the producers told us that we had time 596 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 1: constraints and Elizabeth was not allowed to talk about trains. 597 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,359 Speaker 1: So I said, I will throw myself on that train, 598 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,240 Speaker 1: size sword. I kind of want to talk about trains. 599 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,360 Speaker 1: You're doing it right now. You see she did a 600 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: day if she snuck in there and wait a minute, 601 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:29,800 Speaker 1: you started her doing let's talk about trains. Everybody against me, 602 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,759 Speaker 1: so trains. Let's talk trains. Well, okay, we're gonna talk 603 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 1: about trains. You gotta talk about robbing them right right. 604 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,560 Speaker 1: I mean, like there's robbing a train like nobody else 605 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 1: could do. It was Billy Minor, outlaw of the Old West. 606 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,879 Speaker 1: He came up with, hey, stick him up right. Then 607 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:50,800 Speaker 1: we got, you know, Brian Robson. He's pretty much he 608 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 1: deserves kind of a category on his own because he 609 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 1: did not respect trains. Now, I would say that the 610 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 1: best train crime has to go to and I'm gonna 611 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 1: just count on this award to agree with me. Let's 612 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,920 Speaker 1: open up and see who the winner is. The Perpy 613 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: goes to Great Train Robbery. Nice. You can see that 614 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,840 Speaker 1: it was going to win that one because it's the biggest. 615 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,399 Speaker 1: It's the name the Great Train has trained in the name. 616 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,880 Speaker 1: It was like Perpy baits, you know, it's just like 617 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,879 Speaker 1: going to put it out there, It's going to happen. 618 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,759 Speaker 1: So I just like to accept this award on the 619 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:27,879 Speaker 1: behalf of all trains and train outlaws. Thank you so much. 620 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:32,040 Speaker 1: Everybody's so welcome. Well, that's just great bully for them personally, 621 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,200 Speaker 1: I love noodles. Presenting our next award is star of 622 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 1: bos Lurman's Strictly Ballroom and convicted felon Elizabeth dot Hey. Hey, hey, 623 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,800 Speaker 1: hey there all right. So next category for the Purpies 624 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:52,200 Speaker 1: here best Sports Crime. We love sports. We love activities 625 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 1: and teams and achievements. I love athletes and crimes fun. 626 00:41:56,320 --> 00:42:01,840 Speaker 1: It's scoring, sweating and grass in as mud and blood 627 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,320 Speaker 1: and coaches yelling at you and smacking your butt ticket prices. 628 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 1: I'm telling you so good boy. So the nominees for 629 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:15,080 Speaker 1: the Perp for Best Sports Crime are stolen FIFA Cup uniform, theft, 630 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 1: breeders Cup, berry, Bremen, and the award the PURP for 631 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:28,400 Speaker 1: Best Sports crime goes to stolen FIFA Cup. Oh dark horse, 632 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,799 Speaker 1: dark horse. Now, speaking of horses, the Breeders Cup had 633 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:36,760 Speaker 1: your amazing call or that race thank you, which again 634 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,320 Speaker 1: we've told people before, that was one take. No no 635 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,439 Speaker 1: pause beforehand, no pause after. You just ran it right through. 636 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 1: That was remarkable, but it didn't win. We actually recorded 637 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,239 Speaker 1: at a race track, so while you were riding a horse. 638 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,600 Speaker 1: That's what made it have the authentic field for intense. Yeah. Yeah, 639 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,359 Speaker 1: well you're you're a method host. And I'd like to say, 640 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if everyone knew this, but in the 641 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: horse race, I finished third, So I did that running 642 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 1: next to them. That's really impressive. I like that for 643 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 1: your journey. I still thought you didn't win, so try again, 644 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,760 Speaker 1: Berry Bremer. He had a leg up with his antics. 645 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 1: Weren't weren't because he liked shows. Okay, and then but like, 646 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,960 Speaker 1: come on, let's talk about FIFA Cup d C. I 647 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 1: pickles Dog Detective the best. You know. We all have 648 00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 1: World Cup fever right now? I do. Is that going 649 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,320 Speaker 1: to go away? Something? So enough said there it is 650 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:38,080 Speaker 1: in fact say less. Is that our our second two 651 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:42,600 Speaker 1: perpy by the way, I think, so let me check 652 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,279 Speaker 1: my scorecard. White, I don't have a scorecard. Did you 653 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,360 Speaker 1: rip it up already? I smoked it, Dave. I've just 654 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,799 Speaker 1: been throwing everything away as we opened them. Everything goes 655 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,320 Speaker 1: in the recycling bins. In permanence. Life is in permanence. 656 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: You set it up and you knock it down. That's 657 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,840 Speaker 1: just the way it goes. Our next presenter captivated audiences 658 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,839 Speaker 1: around the world with his performance in the Super Bowl 659 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:10,439 Speaker 1: halftime show. She now trains pit vipers to raise money 660 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:14,000 Speaker 1: for color blindness awareness charities. Please give it up for 661 00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:21,480 Speaker 1: up with People's Zaren Burnett's Hey everybody, everybody, can I 662 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,600 Speaker 1: get you to clip along with me? We're gonna do 663 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:28,839 Speaker 1: this category. This is the best guest for the heer 664 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:34,840 Speaker 1: P I think. Okay, so people can't see the fireworks 665 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,759 Speaker 1: that are shooting out of the backpack that you're wearing. 666 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:42,120 Speaker 1: It was like, oh my God, like the fire department 667 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 1: to come out here. Well, okay, I've been given to 668 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:49,560 Speaker 1: the category of best guests, and um, this category is 669 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:53,960 Speaker 1: stock I'm telling you, stocked full of good nominees. It 670 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 1: was hard just to whittle it down to the three 671 00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,160 Speaker 1: nominees of all the guests that have bound the show. 672 00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,520 Speaker 1: I was surprised it was down to three. I mean, 673 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:00,919 Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be like, oh, we're gonna 674 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:05,520 Speaker 1: there was this like late night negotiations about it. This 675 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,160 Speaker 1: is amazing. We got down to three. But here we 676 00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,520 Speaker 1: are the best nominees for Best Guest. Here we go. 677 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:17,400 Speaker 1: Our first nominee is Travis Dutton, Our second guest is 678 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:23,799 Speaker 1: Ghost of a Dead Victorian Child. And lastly, our third 679 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:30,120 Speaker 1: nominee is John Walsh, host of America's Most Wanted Now. 680 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,480 Speaker 1: John Walsh didn't have a speaking part on the show, 681 00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:35,400 Speaker 1: did he But he was again, no, he was a guest. 682 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:40,160 Speaker 1: It was in spirit more of a John We're thinking 683 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,160 Speaker 1: of you. You're always guesting with us, buddy, you're a 684 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:47,680 Speaker 1: co piloting. To be honest, SAG required us to credit 685 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,480 Speaker 1: him because even though he didn't, all the parts were cut. 686 00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:59,600 Speaker 1: You know, got a document of well, I'm just so 687 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,759 Speaker 1: excit had to be presenting this award to someone who 688 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,840 Speaker 1: I think is really going to deserve it, because this 689 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,600 Speaker 1: category is stocked. As I said, so let's open this 690 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,400 Speaker 1: award as this envelope, brother, and see who gets this 691 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:18,239 Speaker 1: award here we go. Let's see you open. I knew it, 692 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 1: ain't you, buddy, huh Okay, award goes to Travis Dudden. 693 00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,799 Speaker 1: Now I'm so excited. I mean, I just cannot tell 694 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,320 Speaker 1: you to present an award to Elizabeth's brother Trav, for 695 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,319 Speaker 1: his work on the Consaco Brothers episode. Do you did 696 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,200 Speaker 1: you hear it? It was amazing one of my favorites. Actually. Now, 697 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 1: since you couldn't be here today, I'm just gonna play 698 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:44,759 Speaker 1: this special message from Trav. Travis here out on assignment. 699 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,800 Speaker 1: Otherwise I'd be at the Ridiculous crime headquarters accepting this award. 700 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:52,239 Speaker 1: It's an honor just to be nominated, and I want 701 00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,600 Speaker 1: to thank you all for listening. Bye. All right everyone, 702 00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:01,040 Speaker 1: thank you. What a moving and inspirational beach. I feel 703 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,560 Speaker 1: like I've just been raised on the you know, on 704 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,960 Speaker 1: the feathers of eagles, on the on the wings of angels. 705 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,919 Speaker 1: I can feel the breeze in my eyes. Yeah, I've 706 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,560 Speaker 1: been raised on the fleas of the angels and eagles. Yes, 707 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,520 Speaker 1: And I've been raised on the angles of the eagles. 708 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:18,759 Speaker 1: I mean, he took us up where we belong. Let's 709 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:21,920 Speaker 1: be honest. He did, He really did. Now, here to 710 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,920 Speaker 1: present our penultimate award is none other than complicated songbird 711 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:32,440 Speaker 1: and US Ambassador to Finland Elizabeth Dutton. Hi, Hi, everyone, 712 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:37,520 Speaker 1: look at me. Hi. I have the great honor to 713 00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:43,560 Speaker 1: present a very powerful and um important award for tonight. 714 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,880 Speaker 1: I think that when I look around this country and 715 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,600 Speaker 1: I see the people, and I look around this world 716 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,120 Speaker 1: and I see the people and how hard they work 717 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,160 Speaker 1: in the future, and I look into the future because 718 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:59,279 Speaker 1: I have that ability, and I really just we touch 719 00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:03,359 Speaker 1: our hearts and we reach across oceans. Let me express hope, 720 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,800 Speaker 1: and we do this for change the bugs on the ground, 721 00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,040 Speaker 1: Like whatever change you have in your pocket, or if 722 00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,320 Speaker 1: you can just give us some change, just everything, and 723 00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,960 Speaker 1: so where the ribbon and know it and mean it 724 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:20,399 Speaker 1: and give me what's in your pocket. So Best Guest Host, 725 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,360 Speaker 1: what does that mean? That means someone who comes on 726 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:27,120 Speaker 1: and fills some shoes. This is a great award. Here 727 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:33,480 Speaker 1: are the nominees for Best Guest Host. Producer Dave Weird 728 00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,479 Speaker 1: listener who talks along with the podcast while sitting alone 729 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,600 Speaker 1: in a parked car. I think they're a favorite. I 730 00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:41,640 Speaker 1: really do. Any think they're ghost of a dead Victorian 731 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:46,320 Speaker 1: child making a couple appearances here always with us. You 732 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,200 Speaker 1: can't get rid of them. The studio is haunted. I've tried, yea, 733 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:57,800 Speaker 1: the studio is haunted. So rarely okay, best guest host 734 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:04,320 Speaker 1: goes to producer days. Oh wow, man coming from behind 735 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:08,600 Speaker 1: on that? Uh if I can, if I can make 736 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:12,800 Speaker 1: a speech here? Yes? Why not? I just I just 737 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:19,920 Speaker 1: like I would hang on. I just I'm sorry the 738 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 1: band is playing you off, Dave. I'm that's terrible. But 739 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,640 Speaker 1: just you know, you could edit them out if you want. 740 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:33,399 Speaker 1: And now our last award of the show. People said 741 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,520 Speaker 1: it couldn't be done. It was believed these two would 742 00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:38,600 Speaker 1: never appear in public together following the tragic events of 743 00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:42,360 Speaker 1: March thirty one. But here they are, star of the 744 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:46,800 Speaker 1: Police Academy Cinematic franchise Elizabeth Teton, and NASCAR Hall of 745 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:53,800 Speaker 1: Famer Zaron Burnett. Here we are believe the laws allowing 746 00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:58,480 Speaker 1: us to be on stage today cannot. I feel like 747 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,200 Speaker 1: with our if our ankle monit ters get too close together, 748 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,120 Speaker 1: they'll just like we'll have like a sound wave. So 749 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,040 Speaker 1: they're legally supposed to. They're supposed to create a very 750 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,359 Speaker 1: large sound that nobody can hear and it's actually going 751 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,960 Speaker 1: to knock out our hearing and all of our electronic equipment. 752 00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:16,200 Speaker 1: To stay over there, I'll be all wherever here. That's right, 753 00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:20,960 Speaker 1: That's that's I'm not good at how such a Canadian 754 00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:26,439 Speaker 1: number is that as the crow flies exactly from the sky, 755 00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:32,920 Speaker 1: yeah exactly. Um. Tonight's final award is the People's Choice Award. 756 00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 1: I believe it's actually pronounced the the Pise Choice Award. 757 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,880 Speaker 1: Voting for this award took place on Instagram and on Twitter, 758 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,400 Speaker 1: where all proper elections take place. This is actually I 759 00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:51,680 Speaker 1: would consider the most and really the only legitimate award 760 00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 1: of the night pretty much. Yeah, the rest is just 761 00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:57,840 Speaker 1: all garbage. So the po Plaise Choice Award. The nominees 762 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:04,400 Speaker 1: are Guy Fieri. The other nominee is Corey Washington, Texas 763 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:12,960 Speaker 1: College Mascot Jamboree, and our final nominee, Democracy Manifest. This 764 00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,000 Speaker 1: is an exciting one. I hope I don't miss this up. 765 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my seatbelt on, okay, so I want 766 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:21,720 Speaker 1: to take my pants off. The purpy People's Choice Award 767 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:29,960 Speaker 1: goes to Princess Caribou. Woa. No one saw that coming. 768 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:35,400 Speaker 1: He wasn't even nominated episode. No, look, the card actually 769 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:39,280 Speaker 1: says Texas College Mascot Jamboree. You read the pink highlighter. 770 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,960 Speaker 1: You the other side, you wrote the pink high letter. 771 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:50,040 Speaker 1: Did you recognize your handwriting Texas College? You see Texas 772 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:56,560 Speaker 1: College mascot, College mascot for college and for Texas and 773 00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,360 Speaker 1: through mascots everywhere, and not for Dak Prescott, who happens 774 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,400 Speaker 1: to be terribly afraid of mascots. That's a true story, people, 775 00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:07,719 Speaker 1: So sorry Dak Prescott. Everybody else. Yes, episode really resonated 776 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,799 Speaker 1: with listeners, very popular, pretty clear winner across the board. 777 00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,000 Speaker 1: Good adventure time story was and might I say, well 778 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,440 Speaker 1: listened to by you, Elizabeth. I listened to it. I 779 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,759 Speaker 1: don't know every morning. Yeah, but I'm saying in the 780 00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:22,920 Speaker 1: moment it was really gripping listening. I was not listening. 781 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,920 Speaker 1: That was okay. Well that's it for us today. That 782 00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:31,000 Speaker 1: was weird. But thank you for listening, Thank you for 783 00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,400 Speaker 1: joining us. We appreciate every one of you more than 784 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,279 Speaker 1: you could ever know, and that's an all honesty. We 785 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,160 Speaker 1: really do. Thank you for listening. It means the world 786 00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,600 Speaker 1: to us. You can find us online at Ridiculous Crime 787 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,360 Speaker 1: on both Twitter for the smart Stuff and Instagram for 788 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,640 Speaker 1: the photos. Email us if you want at Ridiculous Crime 789 00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,200 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We may send you scratch and stuff, 790 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,759 Speaker 1: nickers maybe or stickers, snickers or you know, not at all. 791 00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:01,480 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zarin Burnett 792 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,840 Speaker 1: and sometimes Dave Kusten. The award for Best Production and 793 00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:10,080 Speaker 1: Editing goes to Dave Kusten. The Purpy for best use 794 00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:13,200 Speaker 1: of Archive dot Org goes to Marissa Brown and Andrea's 795 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:17,719 Speaker 1: song Sharpenedier. The award for best podcast Theme Song and 796 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,680 Speaker 1: the Whole Universe goes to Thomas Lee and Travis Dutton, 797 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,760 Speaker 1: and the award for Best Executive Producers are Ben Bollen 798 00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:41,720 Speaker 1: and Noel Brown. Children do not We celebrate the majesty 799 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:46,759 Speaker 1: of crime with the parties. You hug me the puppies 800 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:55,240 Speaker 1: say it one more times. Ridiculous Crime is a production 801 00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,879 Speaker 1: of iHeart Radio. Four more podcasts to my heart Radio, 802 00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,719 Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcas tests, or wherever 803 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,200 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.