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Speaker 1: I thought I'd forgiven my husband for cheating on me

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Speaker 1: until I fell in love with someone else. Should I

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Speaker 1: leave him? And this is okop where we read the

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Speaker 1: craziest true stories on Earth. I'm John and Sam. Should

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Speaker 1: ope leave the relationship? I feel like it's the perfect

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Speaker 1: revenge plan. Make him think he's safe. You're back in

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Speaker 1: love with him, the relationship is fine, But damn bam,

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Speaker 1: leave him for another man. I mean, if you want

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Speaker 1: to return the stab in the back that does seem

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Speaker 1: to breute, get that, boute, get that. And we are

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Speaker 1: getting this from own repeat eight one, four to three.

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Speaker 1: They say, I thirty four female, have been married to

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Speaker 1: my husband, Will thirty eight male for ten years, married

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Speaker 1: for seven dang. Okay, so that's two hall passes day.

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Speaker 1: This guy with his Golden rules, the Golden rules of marriage.

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Speaker 1: Every four years you get one hall pass. Sam's trademarks

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Speaker 1: we have a child five male. Four years ago I

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Speaker 1: found out that he was having an affair. Yikes, dude,

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Speaker 1: A story is old as time itself. The classic signs

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Speaker 1: were all there, distant, long work hour, smiling on his phone.

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Speaker 1: That's right, that'tra.

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Speaker 2: I have all those things.

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Speaker 1: Sam does, Riley does smile on his phone.

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Speaker 3: Whenever does he does we see the text come across

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Speaker 3: our screen every once in a while, Yeah, we did.

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Speaker 4: I totally forget about that.

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Speaker 1: It makes me so happy to come over right now

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Speaker 1: was one of the texts that we saw recently. Come

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Speaker 1: over right now. That was a crazy text. I need

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Speaker 1: to scoop it up, big protein.

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Speaker 3: Can I say?

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 4: Can we say?

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Speaker 1: So? One day after he went to bed, I checked

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Speaker 1: his phone and found out that it was fresh graduate

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Speaker 1: twenty three female at the time, that had just joined

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Speaker 1: his company the previous year. From the messages, twenty three

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Speaker 1: twenty three, and he's like thirty seven, thirty eight, thirty eight. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean like, oh, it's a bit of an edge gap.

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Speaker 1: It's been especially also at work. At work, and guess what, Sam,

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Speaker 1: it gets better aka worse. Oh no, from the messages

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Speaker 1: it was the personal assistant and executive assistant, and that

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Speaker 1: had been going on for at least six months. I mean,

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Speaker 1: she's really going above and beyond.

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Speaker 3: God, put in those extra hours, in the extra work,

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Speaker 3: really assisting with all of his needs.

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Speaker 1: She literally is Tragically the cheap hotel fun time was

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Speaker 1: hard to read about, but what was worse was how

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Speaker 1: emotionally connected. He was calling each other nicknames, doing things

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Speaker 1: that were historically our things.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, babe, you do cow grove.

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Speaker 1: Tell them Riley. No, it was two. I took all

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Speaker 1: the screenshots and packed my bags for my kid, and

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Speaker 1: I hauled my brother to come pick me up for

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Speaker 1: my parents' house. And when my brother was there, he

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Speaker 1: woke my husband to tell him I was leaving. By

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Speaker 1: the end of the week, I had already had a

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Speaker 1: consultation with the lawyer. There was no going back.

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Speaker 3: Good for her for being so resolute. Yeah, what she

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Speaker 3: decided to do, because a lot of people might waffle

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Speaker 3: in that situation.

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Speaker 1: But ope, fay to the point. And this wasn't like.

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Speaker 1: This was six months of like developed a connection like,

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Speaker 1: oh he's out here protecting herself. Yeah, you got it.

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Speaker 1: For the next two years, yes, years, not months, my

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Speaker 1: husband tried relentlessly to win me back. How he did everything,

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Speaker 1: and he did everything right, including begging and groveling. We

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Speaker 1: love a good groveling.

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Speaker 5: Did so well on his knees with you know, with

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Speaker 5: perfect precision.

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Speaker 1: He believed me like a slug on the floor and

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Speaker 1: bow down to me, your queen, perfect ninety degree angle

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Speaker 1: in the knees.

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Speaker 3: He's taking the Japanese bowing class. Yeah, which he's a

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Speaker 3: class that you can take.

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Speaker 1: Wow, my man is on it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's on the floor. Have you ever seen like

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Speaker 3: the video of like the there's like this video of

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Speaker 3: a Japanese bowing course and they like show you how

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Speaker 3: to bow aggressively.

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Speaker 1: I haven't. Well, that's things that sounds it's fun. It's fun.

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Speaker 1: Tent sounds like a good thing to learn that. We're

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Speaker 1: just seeing all these thumbnails of people just inclining their

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Speaker 1: body and bowing nicely. Yeah, there's some crazy ones anyway. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: he said that he was blinded by the attention he

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Speaker 1: got and cut off the girl, immediately switched jobs within

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Speaker 1: two months, booked counseling sessions that he begged me to attend,

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Speaker 1: made progress in counseling, read books, so on and so forth,

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Speaker 1: you name it. I mean he is trying.

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Speaker 3: He is trying. I'm trying, absolutely that. But maybe you

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Speaker 3: could have tried harder to not fuck your coworkers.

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Speaker 1: You could have you could have done that.

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Speaker 3: You're twenty three, or your fresh college graduate coworkers.

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Speaker 2: He could have slipped on a banana. Yep, did you

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Speaker 2: ever think about that.

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Speaker 1: Well, oh, they're they're in the office. They have all

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Speaker 1: kinds of amazing organic slippery fruits, okay, stocked kitchen.

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Speaker 3: They recently just mopped the floors in the office. You know,

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Speaker 3: you're slipping his slider.

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Speaker 1: Whoa oops, sorry now she's pregnant. Not actually, man, I'm

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Speaker 1: in love now that I love. He was visiting our

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Speaker 1: son almost every day after work and weekend. When he

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Speaker 1: wasn't there, he would text me where he was, also

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Speaker 1: sharing his location. I saw genuine and a consistent change

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Speaker 1: and remorse in him, and after six months me and

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Speaker 1: the baby moved back in with him. Oh what do

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Speaker 1: we think right now? Everyone watching dam and Riley? Good

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Speaker 1: move back?

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, yes, like people can change. I guess

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Speaker 3: I want to fundamentally believe that. But it's just a

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Speaker 3: lot too, It's just a lot to forgive.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot. I think.

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Speaker 3: I think it comes more from like we might be

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Speaker 3: able to say, like, okay, like he's changed, blah blah blah,

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Speaker 3: but like, will ope actually be able to trust him again?

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Speaker 3: I think that's a more important question. Could op trust

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Speaker 3: him again to the point where it's like it could

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Speaker 3: be a good relationship? Yeah, maybe maybe, and maybe this

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Speaker 3: is good an indicator that you can I don't know totally.

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Speaker 1: I mean in his offense, I think, where are we, Riley.

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Speaker 1: We're two years in post post cheating scandal, so it's

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Speaker 1: like it does take years to rebuild it.

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Speaker 3: Now they're like twelve years in three they have three

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Speaker 3: hall passes.

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Speaker 1: BROI bro used six months worth of all yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's not per affair, to be clear, it's it's

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Speaker 1: ends per instance. Yes, okay, yeah, I definitely used all

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Speaker 1: of You can't have like he couldn't have had like

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Speaker 1: two multi month you know affairs individual ah, the Golden Roll.

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Speaker 1: It's per session. So things did get better and better

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Speaker 1: every day for the next one and a half years.

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's consistent effort until until we reached the

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Speaker 3: quote unquote normal state that we are right now.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 2: I mean I have seen this happen before, unbeknowns to me,

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Speaker 2: where a couple has cheated, but they have put in

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Speaker 2: a lot of time and work to get it back

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Speaker 2: together and the like the husband is now a good

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Speaker 2: person and he does go to the community, but it

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Speaker 2: takes like dedication and a lot of love and time.

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Speaker 1: I mean, is that do you think he's showing that.

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Speaker 2: The person right now? Yeah, yeah, but like you take

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Speaker 2: it back, yeah, because I mean whenever you have like

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Speaker 2: because he had two kids at.

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Speaker 1: The time, yeah, twelve years and three well yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: all of them real quick. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean if he's if he's like begging you to

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Speaker 2: come to counseling and he's like, I terribly feel wrong

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Speaker 2: about this. I've seen a similar situation where it does

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Speaker 2: work out, but this person, they've got to be in

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Speaker 2: love and he's got to be like, yeah, I've missed.

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Speaker 1: Seems likely. That is somewhat what is happening. It seems

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Speaker 1: it seems like it's broways put it in work, even

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Speaker 1: though let's hope that it continues derails it now. I

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Speaker 1: can't explain why or what it is, but during the

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Speaker 1: last four years, I feel like I've been in an

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Speaker 1: emotional limbo. Things are normal, as I said, we go

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Speaker 1: on dates, make love, family, just like before, but I

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Speaker 1: feel emotionally detached from him, like I can't be all in.

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Speaker 3: Well yeah, I mean that's kind of what we were

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Speaker 3: saying before, Like can she really forgive him? It's a

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Speaker 3: hard thing to actually forgive.

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Speaker 1: I know I have forgiven him, and now I don't

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Speaker 1: even think about the affair every day, neither do I

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Speaker 1: have any reason to doubt him any But I also

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Speaker 1: don't feel this love for him for he seems to

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Speaker 1: think that we are back to our old relationship, but

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Speaker 1: I feel that we are very friendly roommates smile and

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Speaker 1: wave and just go with the flow. Oha friendly roommates.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that shows that she hasn't completely forgiven him,

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Speaker 3: which again is like totally makes sense, Totally see why,

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Speaker 3: totally can see why. Totally makes sense. But like maybe

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Speaker 3: that's a sign that.

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Speaker 1: This is not the relationship I really could be there

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Speaker 1: always be that trust.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I don't think I could continue with

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Speaker 3: it because I don't know if I could brust that

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Speaker 3: person again.

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Speaker 4: But like, whatever, you have kids in the mix is I.

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Speaker 1: Feel like it's a different ballgame it is it is?

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Speaker 1: Does that add a pass?

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Speaker 4: I think it should take away to pass anything?

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Speaker 3: I think, Well, you're what you said is if you

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Speaker 3: have kids in the mix, it's like a whole different thing,

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Speaker 3: where like it possibly is, but you but you need

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Speaker 3: to stay together for the kids. Potentially, yes, that you

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Speaker 3: would add a pass.

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Speaker 2: Another hall pass on top of the hall pass you

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Speaker 2: just used to make.

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Speaker 3: You said, if they have kids, then you might need

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Speaker 3: to stay together longer.

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Speaker 4: Brack, that's according to you.

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Speaker 2: If they're together for them four years, then he would

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Speaker 2: eventually accumulate another hall pass.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, if if it continues for the four years.

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Speaker 3: So you're saying, you're saying, like per kid, another hall

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Speaker 3: pass should be at it.

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Speaker 4: I did not say that.

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Speaker 2: I said you going by your thing of every four

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Speaker 2: years you get a hall pass.

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Speaker 3: You shaid you're thinking a kid should be like a

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Speaker 3: kid should add a hall pass.

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Speaker 2: I said it saying it should take away because I'm

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Speaker 2: just saying it, you should take us to break away

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Speaker 2: because they want to stay together.

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Speaker 1: So thus one additional hall pass should be at No.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm not. I've not said anything, but I don't

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Speaker 2: know where you're Sam's trying. Sam's trying to rope you

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Speaker 2: into the Sam Gold noddles. He's trying to get He's

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Speaker 2: trying to bring someone from someone in the boat with

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Speaker 2: him to go to the distance. You get a kid.

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Speaker 2: People have sex, you get kids from it. That's just

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Speaker 2: because that's what sex is, all pass or not hall passed.

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Speaker 4: Kids do not equal. More Hall passes once doesn't mean

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Speaker 4: you get to do it. I think, well, no, but

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Speaker 4: you're basically a warning.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you thought so good, you got a kid out

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Speaker 2: of it, here's another hall pass, go try again.

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Speaker 1: No, you don't know.

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Speaker 3: What I'm saying is like people might have might move

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Speaker 3: past cheating because they have more kid, right, so it's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you cheated, but we're going to stay together for the kid.

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Speaker 1: And so essentially that's like a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: hall pass.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what this is, Gil, we were over

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Speaker 4: my head, but.

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Speaker 1: What does that not make sense? Basically, yeah, because couples

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Speaker 1: are more likely to stay together because there's abjectively a

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Speaker 1: hall pass. Yes, it basically turns into yes. It's a

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Speaker 1: metamorphosis hall passes, metamorphosizing hall fast. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But I feel like.

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Speaker 2: When you have kids, you have to take away a

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Speaker 2: hall pass because it puts more te say on the kids.

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Speaker 1: It's like a I don't know what it is in

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Speaker 1: a card game, but when you a special a special

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Speaker 1: thing that pops up because because it's already happened, it

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Speaker 1: active activated.

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Speaker 4: I think it should deactivate also.

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Speaker 1: But you're not saying that. You're saying you're saying that

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Speaker 1: if you it becomes more complicated, i e. They should

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Speaker 1: stay together longer because they have a kid. If you're

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Speaker 1: saying like, oh, if they didn't have a kid, it

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Speaker 1: would be uncomplicated, they should just break up, right Okay.

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Speaker 2: Okay, here's so basically understanding. This is what this is

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Speaker 2: what I think. Okay, this is hear me out. You're

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Speaker 2: together for four years, have no kids, you cheat, you

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Speaker 2: figure that out, you work it out. You're together for

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Speaker 2: another four kid for years, have a kid, you take

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Speaker 2: away that hall pass.

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Speaker 1: I think, I think I got it.

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Speaker 3: But if you have a kid, it complicates the relationships,

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Speaker 3: so there's more reasons for you to stay together. So

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Speaker 3: often people will overlook cheating and stay together because they

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Speaker 3: have children.

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Speaker 1: Here's the boil down. I think I got the boiled down.

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Speaker 1: Riley is saying they deserve to have the hall pass

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Speaker 1: removed to because this is I'm not saying they deserve

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Speaker 1: like it's like, oh, you you win a hall past.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying like, effectively, how it works, and effect are

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Speaker 1: more willing to work past.

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Speaker 3: Like people basically, for every four years of relationship, people

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Speaker 3: are more willing to work past. It's like sexual misconduct

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Speaker 3: within the relationship, and for every kid that you have,

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Speaker 3: people are more willing to work past sexual misconduct in

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Speaker 3: the relationship. So effectively, what that does is it adds

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Speaker 3: Hall passes.

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Speaker 2: I don't think the kids should be be a variable

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Speaker 2: in this at all. I think it should just be

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Speaker 2: time and years. Keep it up the years every four

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Speaker 2: years that is past.

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Speaker 1: But the kids already are.

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Speaker 3: But you're saying the kids that you just said that

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Speaker 3: the relationship becomes more complicated when there's kids involved.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and reason.

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Speaker 2: But if you take the other it's a way and

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Speaker 2: you have kids, you're gonna be together for longer. So

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Speaker 2: over time you will accumulate more Hall passes. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: together for twelve years, or you have two kids, you

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Speaker 2: get one Hall pass, not three.

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Speaker 1: There's more reasons for them to stay together, so they have.

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Speaker 4: More, they will accumulate more Hall passes.

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Speaker 5: No, but the but I'm the rest throwing the flag

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Speaker 5: on this one, guys, figure obviously joke.

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Speaker 4: What do you think do you think?

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Speaker 1: So what Sam is, what Sam is saying is not

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Speaker 1: that you're saying they deserve to have the Hall pass,

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Speaker 1: take it away and kind of get it over time.

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Speaker 1: Sam says, it kind of accidentally becomes a hall pass

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Speaker 1: and because people stay together past it. Yeah, it's it's

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Speaker 1: a byproduct.

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Speaker 2: My question to you, Sam, one que one kid equals

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Speaker 2: one more hall pass, or four years equals one hall pass.

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Speaker 1: They they both add a hall pass.

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Speaker 2: So if a couple is together for four years, they

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Speaker 2: have For example, if a couples together for four years

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Speaker 2: and they have a kid, how many Hall passes do

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Speaker 2: they have?

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Speaker 1: They have? Two?

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Speaker 4: Fuck?

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Speaker 3: Think about this, they have not think about this. Think

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Speaker 3: about this. All right, new relationship. All right, you are

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Speaker 3: one month in. All right, she gets pregnant, She pregnant,

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Speaker 3: he Cheatskay. Is that couple, because of the pregnancy, more

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Speaker 3: likely or less likely to stay together?

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Speaker 2: I mean I would say because they have a kid,

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Speaker 2: they're probably more likely to stay together.

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Speaker 3: So they continue seeing each other even though he cheated,

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Speaker 3: because effectively they have created a hall pass by having

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Speaker 3: a baby.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't think like they should deserve to

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Speaker 4: have another Hall pass.

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Speaker 1: No. I to be clear, Yeah, the whole thing is

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Speaker 1: a joke. Particularly the whole thing is a joke.

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Speaker 3: But also to be clear, with the Hall passes, it's

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Speaker 3: not that like.

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Speaker 1: Four years you deserve a hall pass. You did a

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Speaker 1: good job.

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Speaker 3: It's like, effectively, what happens is for every four years

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Speaker 3: you have in a relationship, people are like, oh, like,

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Speaker 3: because of how long I've been in a relationship, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to look past some cheating, even though the cheating is terrible.

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Speaker 2: You're right, Okay, I see what you're saying. Because what

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Speaker 2: was the statistic of men cheating on our wives whenever

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Speaker 2: they're pregnant. It's like super hoigh that statistic back set up.

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Speaker 3: So for every kid and every four years, effectively there's

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Speaker 3: a hall pass created.

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Speaker 1: And then once more an asterisk is we're all jokes,

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Speaker 1: just to make sure. Back to the story. I thought

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Speaker 1: this was my new reality and I was never going

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Speaker 1: to get back the old me until you're ready for.

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Speaker 4: It, boys, you're ready for everyone.

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Speaker 1: Until I met Jake, Oh baby, Dake reignited. I met

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Speaker 1: Jake thirty five mail about a year ago on our

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Speaker 1: local subbreddit, WHOA what are the odds?

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Speaker 4: Reddit's bringing couples together.

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Speaker 3: That's kind of cute lot to us, also age appropriate relationship.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Yes, yes, rough to final reveit for real,

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Speaker 1: dim into the trolls. He posted about a hobby that

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Speaker 1: we share and I commented on it. It was a

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Speaker 1: rather uncommon hobby, so not many people have interest in it.

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Speaker 1: Then yems chit chats and such. The first month was

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Speaker 1: nothing but talk about the hobby. Then we slowly started

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Speaker 1: to get to know each other. He is a widower,

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Speaker 1: and I told him that I have a family.

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Speaker 4: Sweet spot or widowers.

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Speaker 1: So, Riley, right now, do you think op deserves to

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Speaker 1: be able to finally right now as right now, little

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Speaker 1: little context, very early, yeah, relationship.

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Speaker 2: I mean she's put in a lot of effort on

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Speaker 2: this other relationship to make it work. She basically forgave him,

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Speaker 2: Ye cleared the slate was moving forward and because the

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Speaker 2: thing and she got back to she cleared the slate.

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Speaker 2: Everything in the past is now. You cannot use this

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Speaker 2: into an argument, so it's just equal. So in a way,

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Speaker 2: she would be the a hole for going and pursuing

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Speaker 2: someone else. But if you keep all the cheating and

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Speaker 2: you keep it into the context, she's not.

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Speaker 1: I think it's it's not even the there's the tit

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Speaker 1: for tat side of it, and then there's the like

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Speaker 1: I just don't feel yeah I did before, Like.

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Speaker 4: I don't think she should cheat on him. I think

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Speaker 4: she should divorce on and then.

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Speaker 3: Yeah him, and and goes for this guy. I think

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Speaker 3: that's not quite.

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Speaker 1: A holy not quite a so, not quite a whole,

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Speaker 1: not quite Okay, I'm still pro like, figure it out,

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00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 1: but yeah, I think I mean for like the kids. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we have more and we have more context to go.

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Speaker 1: But think about Yeah, it's like she's in a relationship,

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Speaker 1: but she's like, I don't feel it anymore. It's just

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Speaker 1: not there. So kind of low key unfair to everyone,

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Speaker 1: I would say.

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Speaker 3: And really, I mean that she could test it out

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Speaker 3: like five times to see if it works out.

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Speaker 1: Just run it, run it through a few see what

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Speaker 1: see what happens? Is that only that's how many Hall

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Speaker 1: passes she's accumulated.

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Speaker 3: It's three plus she has three kids kids, two kids five.

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00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 1: Also, Sam, you might have to add this to the

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Speaker 1: golden rule if your partner cheats on you and you

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Speaker 1: get one and you get one for six wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to be clear, these are relationships that will make

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00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 3: your relationship better.

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Speaker 1: I like how he clarifies that, He's like, no, this

385
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:10,440
Speaker 1: is good, to be clear, this is actually great. Also

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00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 1: to my future wives wive wife for question Martin to

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Speaker 1: my future wife, said I said wife.

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Speaker 3: You almost said, I said a wife. I love you

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Speaker 3: and I'm so excited to meet you.

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00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 2: Also, the Sam's future wife. We're going to get hall

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00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 2: pass on some merch and we're going to get you

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Speaker 2: a lot of money in the future. So hall pass right,

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00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 2: hall past. See I just just sparked, sparked your Sam's wife.

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Speaker 2: Pretty funny you're now a millionaire because of this idea

395
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,160
Speaker 2: that just sparked merch.

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Speaker 1: All these things coming up. We'll see, guys, We'll see

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Speaker 1: what this hall turns into.

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Speaker 2: Wow, all right, John, do you have a message for

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Speaker 2: your Sam's wife?

400
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,320
Speaker 1: Do I have a message for Sam's wife. He's a

401
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 1: wonderful guy. Even with all the hall passes I have,

402
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: I am not going to use any of the ones

403
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: I accrue. To be clear, these are Sam's Golden Rules, trademark,

404
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 1: Sam's Golden Tickets. We're playing, we're playing with em Bro.

405
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 1: Wait a second, what if there's the whole hall pass merch?

406
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 1: What what if it's also you could get the golden

407
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 1: hall pass in your merch box and then you get

408
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,399
Speaker 1: a date with Riley.

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Speaker 5: You know, I wasn't thinking that, but that's a great

410
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 5: area or John in the next year.

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Speaker 4: Did you have all pass?

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00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 1: Guys, I will see what's happening. She will not. Does

413
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 1: she know about the rule? Oh my god, yeah, yeah, wait,

414
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,920
Speaker 1: we gotta pull out the T and Sam's Gold rules

415
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 1: DM the commenter the stitch that the commenter is about

416
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 1: to put together. Wow, guys, you know what. You gotta

417
00:19:54,000 --> 00:20:01,160
Speaker 1: love content, gentleman. Oh my beautiful eiisode. What an episode

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00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 1: we're at? I wonder what what are the comments? You know, guys,

419
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 1: help us find out Back to the story. I don't

420
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 1: know how to word it properly, but I am finally

421
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 1: happy and back to my old self. And the reason

422
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,360
Speaker 1: for that is Jake. We have fallen for each other

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00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,160
Speaker 1: over the last year and have confessed our feelings for

424
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 1: each other to each other. Baby. I never thought I

425
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 1: would feel this way again, and yet here I am.

426
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 1: We met a few times for coffee after work and

427
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: for the hobby. Yes, my husband knows that I'm meeting

428
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,919
Speaker 1: his new friend Jake or the hobby. He doesn't know.

429
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: I found Jake on Reddit. I love how he's like

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00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 1: he doesn't know the big secrets. Not that we actually

431
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 1: confessed our love to each other, but we met.

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Speaker 3: They haven't confessed love to each other yet though, right

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Speaker 3: it's just like they're in like she's into him and feels.

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00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: They have confessed feelings for each other, So that's the Yeah,

435
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 1: it's not love love, but it's like I'm into Hibby,

436
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 1: could be, but be feelings of friendship probably not, probably not.

437
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,880
Speaker 1: We have never done anything physical, only met in public.

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00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: But this is certainly emotional infidelity towards my husband at

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00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 1: least o p season. On one hand, I understand that

440
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: emotions are not rational and it is my husband's doing

441
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 1: that we are here. But on the other hand, I

442
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 1: feel extremely guilty because he has been trying so hard

443
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: to reconcile. I also feel so angry at him these

444
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 1: days for putting me in this position. Also, in the

445
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:32,359
Speaker 1: middle of all of this, I am in pain that

446
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: I can't be with Jake and I'm shackled to my

447
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: married Jake says he understands my duties as a mother

448
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 1: and would never ask me to do anything I didn't

449
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: want to do. But he was there for me and

450
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 1: my kid. If I want which, can you say something hotter? Dude?

451
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: Can you say something hotter? Oh? Oh my goodness, great, dude,

452
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 1: I'm getting all moist thinking about it. I don't know

453
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: why I made this post, maybe to clear my head.

454
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 1: What do I do? Where do I go from here?

455
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: Do I torpedo my marriage and all the hard work

456
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: that we have put into reconciliation to pursue a fling

457
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 1: with someone I just meant that may or may not

458
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: turn into anything serious. Do I wipe him out and

459
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 1: go back to whatever limbo of a marriage that I

460
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: have left and just suck it up? We do have

461
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 1: an update coming up. Well, we got to break it down.

462
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 1: We gotta break it down. Life is too short to

463
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 1: be unhappy for long. Yeah, Like that's but generally I believe,

464
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 1: and so you should try to live the happiest life

465
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 1: and and also be as honest as possible with the

466
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 1: people around you that you love, because I think honesty

467
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 1: breeds and the easy Like, the more honest you are,

468
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 1: the easier I think your life becomes. Wow, going from

469
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: all passes to this shit.

470
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: But I think probably what would be the best having

471
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 3: an honest conversation with her husband about where she's at. Yeah, yes, yeah,

472
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,640
Speaker 3: but maybe before that, really feel out what your feelings

473
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 3: are first. Yeah, take some time, like go just journal

474
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 3: about it maybe for a day or like a week

475
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 3: or something. And because I mean, this is the big

476
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 3: bomb to drop, the big bomb to drop, and it's

477
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 3: a and like you want to make sure that you

478
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 3: really feel this before you drop that bomb, because those

479
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 3: are words that you can't take back. And luckily hasn't

480
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 3: led to any actions, but it's significant.

481
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 1: Also kind of ask this question already, but I'm also

482
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,120
Speaker 1: curious for everyone watching opis now has said, yeah, there's

483
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 1: emotional cheating this kind of stuff. Do we think she's

484
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: a hole at this point? Now a little further down

485
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,400
Speaker 1: the line.

486
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 3: I mean a little bit, because she's let it get

487
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 3: so feah. You know, like when you like there, you

488
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 3: kind of know where you're treading towards. So definitely a

489
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,239
Speaker 3: little bit. But the way to mitigate that is to

490
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 3: be honest about your feeling because I think she knew

491
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 3: at a certain point, like I mean, when she she

492
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 3: could have cut it off before she confessed feelings. Yeah,

493
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 3: I feel like she there's multiple points where she could

494
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 3: have cut it off.

495
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 1: She caught herself, and what most people do is like

496
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 1: you might catch yourself and then step back or whatever.

497
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: But like he hasn't step back. She hasn't stepped back.

498
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 3: So I think it's like the the the A whole

499
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 3: move is. I think it's like, as soon as you

500
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 3: know and choose not to step back, that's when it

501
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 3: becomes an a hole, right, Like to have crushes, there's

502
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: like emotions involved. You're like, I think it's probably natural

503
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 3: in the span of like a decade's long marriage to

504
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 3: have emotional ties to people that are not your partner.

505
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 3: But as people who can control the agency of our

506
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 3: own lives, we can choose to step towards those or

507
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 3: step away from those, And I think like the A

508
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 3: whole move is stepping towards that.

509
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: Can we add that to the Sam's gold ruel applause

510
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: on that one. My goodness, that one was not a joke.

511
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: To be clear, that was just some good old fashioned

512
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: fantastic advice. But you know what we have. We have

513
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: a mother flipping updates milk that juice baby, And this

514
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 1: was from do you know when the first post was

515
00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: that that's that's curly, to be clear, milk curdling milk Sure. Sure.

516
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: I made a post here in early January about my

517
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 1: husband's affair and subsequently my emotional affair. It's in my

518
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: profile the TLDR is that my husband she died years ago.

519
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: We worked on recond selling and moving on, or so

520
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: I thought, until I met someone else a year ago

521
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: that made me realized I wasn't as heeled as I thought,

522
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 1: and I felt this new man. Thanks for all the comments,

523
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: most of which were surprisingly supportive. I don't even know

524
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: why I made the original post. I guess I was

525
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: feeling really down around Christmas in New Year's and just

526
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 1: won an event and even have someone talk some sentence

527
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: to me. But redditors have helped me to see things

528
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: more clearly, and I'm grateful for you. A lot has happened, Redditors.

529
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,359
Speaker 1: A lot has happened since then. I have started the

530
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: divorce proceedings with my husband and we're working out the legalities.

531
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: I do not know where I stand with Jake Wow WHOA.

532
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: But if she feel like I think, honestly, san's Jake

533
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: right decision, because if you it maybe took her falling

534
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: for this guy to understand that the love that she

535
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: had in her marriage was no longer. He was the

536
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: human orange, he was the key he needed to get

537
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: in there to help her realize the bigger.

538
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 3: Picture thing exactly and the bigger picture is like you

539
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 3: don't want to be in a loveless marriage your whole

540
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 3: life again, like life's too short to be unhappy exactly.

541
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: First some answers of frequently asked questions, Yes, we both

542
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: have jobs and financial independence. Is my husband still cheating

543
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 1: on me? Well, I honestly couldn't say, but based on

544
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: the data that I have on hand, his behavior, his

545
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: phone activity, involvement with his kid, and myself, time accounted for,

546
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: no work, travels or anything, I'm fairly certain he's not.

547
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: But who knows if he is a master manipulator. The

548
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: hobby that we share is fairly niche, and I don't

549
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: want to reveal it in case it identifies us each

550
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: hobby brother. Yeah, I was about to say this is yes.

551
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: Sam usually calls out the niche things that are that

552
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 1: are not exposed, but it's nothing sporty or physical. Think

553
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: more like pottery or painting, although they're not. Some people

554
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: ask why I haven't given any thought to my son

555
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 1: in all, I think they're missing the point. Firstly, what

556
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: relevant info could I post about it? And secondly, why

557
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 1: do you think I reconciled with my husband? Certainly not

558
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: for me whenever we decide, our son will be the

559
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: priority and will be well taken care of. I will

560
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 1: keep him out of this post too. On to the update.

561
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: I read all the comments and all that was said

562
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 1: here and finally had the courage to admit that, yes,

563
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 1: this was a sham marriage. I was not proud of

564
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: my own actions, but I had to go a few

565
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: days after I posted, I went no contact with Jake

566
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: really some more context. I told him I couldn't do

567
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 1: this right now. This wasn't me, and more importantly, I

568
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: needed to focus on my mess. Yeah. I mean it

569
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: would be hard coming out of like a long marriage

570
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: and going straight into another thing. She wants to discover

571
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: herself totally. I don't know what the future holds, but

572
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: for now we'd have to stop. He said he understood

573
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: and supported my decision and would be here if I

574
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: ever wanted to reach out. That's the end. So hot,

575
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: so hot, dude, so hot? What did it like? An

576
00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: emotionally understanding and like mature dude? Exactly. This is the

577
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: equivalent of the smoking hot dad walking out with like

578
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 1: the baby and like you know, like that. This is

579
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: the like emotional or like your dads that go to

580
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 1: the ballet recital and help like do the ballet recital

581
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: with their daughters. Hottest smoking there he goes. In the meantime,

582
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: I disclosed some of this to my closest family and friend.

583
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 1: They all supported me and have been there for me.

584
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: My best friend also helped me plan and process all

585
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 1: of this. Find the lawyer, go to appointments, et cetera.

586
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: I've been strategizing the legal aspects for the last couple

587
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: of months. About two weeks ago, I had to sit

588
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: down with my husband and asked him for a divorce

589
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: hooh and.

590
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 3: Which probably blindsided him because he's it seems like he

591
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 3: thought everything was back to normal.

592
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think I think she even said something to

593
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 1: that ef like he thinks it Not only does it

594
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: feel like it, he thinks it is. He was surprised, desperate, sad,

595
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: and angry. A lot was said, some of which I

596
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: am not proud of. He begged me to work on it.

597
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: Was surprised when I brought up his affair, which was

598
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: angry that I led him on for four years, which

599
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: I asked him if he was sad because he missed

600
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: out on his chance with his affair partner whoa because

601
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: like he's like, hey, you had an emotional connection with

602
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: this woman. Yeah, And and op he's like, basically like

603
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 1: the sunk cost fallacy or whatever. Are you now mad that?

604
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,719
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, are you Is this just you being like, yo,

605
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: I skipped out on my chance with the affair partner

606
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: for you, not like, hey, you know what, screw the

607
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: affair partner. That was just a whatever thing and I

608
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 1: want to be with you. I feel like that's a

609
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 1: little bit of elite. Yeah, I think his behavior. Yeah, yah,

610
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a little bit of elip. But

611
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: let's face it, cheaters beg for their partner, and when

612
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: the partner turns them down, they go right back to

613
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: the affair partner as if they had a backup plan

614
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: all along. Okay, I think so now maybe I'm this

615
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 1: is still what I was just saying. But op he's like, yeah,

616
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: you're just gonna go back to the affair partner.

617
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 3: Now, which is I don't think he's shown anything like

618
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 3: like since the initial cheating.

619
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: I don't think his actions have shown that. Yeah, he

620
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: has put in the work.

621
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I feel like that's a little bit of

622
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: a reaching But I understand like in a heat of

623
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 3: a moment.

624
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: Why And I think, and to Opie's point here, I

625
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: think the husband actually did the work here. Most people

626
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: are like they cheat, They're.

627
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 3: Like, oh no, yea, and they go back to their

628
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 3: ways like a couple months later. It feels like this

629
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 3: is significant change, Like Riley was saying earlier. Now, this

630
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 3: hurt him a lot, and I shouldn't have said it,

631
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 3: but I've been thinking about.

632
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 1: It for four years. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I

633
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 1: told him all about Jake as well, but made it

634
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: clear that regardless of that, I will be leaving. I

635
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: just couldn't trust him anymore. I was at my lowest

636
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: point during a very difficult pregnancy in birth, all of

637
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: which he was there for. He saw me struggle to

638
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: breastfeed the baby, suffer from sleep deprivation, go through all

639
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: of this. Instead of supporting his wife and son, How

640
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: did he have the time to go out and have

641
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: an affair. I can't wrap my head around it. He

642
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: has been sleeping in the guest room. Sense then. We

643
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: have had many conversations since, and I think he is

644
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: finally getting around to accepting that it's over. He'll move

645
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: out this weekend. We've agreed to keep things civil but

646
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: we'll see how far it goes. Thank you for taking

647
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: the time to read this. Keep me in your prayers.

648
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: Oh man, so wait, sorry her saying keep me in

649
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: your prayers. She definitely has like perhaps gone on like

650
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: marriage counseling, and the guy was like, he probably said, oh,

651
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: I've changed my life to God. I'm now going on

652
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 2: a path with God now, and like the husband himself.

653
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: So like ana be like religious undertone.

654
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so because I kind of suspected it,

655
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 2: but that that, yeah, Riley knows.

656
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 3: Right right, I'm going be mad about the outcome though

657
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 3: in terms of like I feel like she did what

658
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 3: was best for her happiness without being too destructive to

659
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 3: her partner or her kid exactly.

660
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: There was like the one thing of like basically the

661
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: emotional cheating, but irregardless of that, like everything else she did,

662
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: she was like, I need to make a point to

663
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: that was the one a whole thing that she did.

664
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: That was the one a whole thing. She came clean

665
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: and was honest about it, and then at the same

666
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: time was like telling him I am not going to

667
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: pursue this, like right now, this is not the move.

668
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: So is there is there a real question here.

669
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 3: I mean I feel like it was. I guess, like

670
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 3: the question to you guys is what would you do

671
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 3: in this situation? Like is this and and also like

672
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 3: if you were the husband, how would you respond to

673
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 3: like this confession of the emotional cheating and would you stay?

674
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 3: Like I think I think the question is would you stay?

675
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: Right?

676
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 3: So, like the Op decided that she didn't want to

677
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 3: be in this like room, pleasant roommate like marriage, and

678
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 3: so she decided to leave. But would some people stay

679
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 3: in that kind of marriage? Or are you in that

680
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 3: kind of marriage now?

681
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: Hopefully not? Hopefully not, but let let us know, let

682
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: us know, and maybe like what are your reasons to stay?

683
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 3: That's right, because I think like Op maybe made the

684
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 3: best decision for her her, but there's a lot of

685
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 3: people that wouldn't make the same decision because of a

686
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 3: different set of alleys.

687
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. And I'll be honest, like I have

688
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: a reason to stay here right now because we have

689
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: another story. Let's get into it.

690
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 3: Woo, I cheated on my wife and now she's cheating

691
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 3: on me. This is okop where we tell the craziest

692
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 3: stories on Earth. I'm Sam and John, do you think

693
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 3: this tit for tat relationship will yield great relationship results

694
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 3: in the future.

695
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: No, all right, let's get into it and see what happened.

696
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: So all odd Bug three nine says, so yeah, I

697
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: know I messed up.

698
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 3: I thirty two male, cheated on my wife twenty nine

699
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 3: female three years ago.

700
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: We've been married for five years, and the second year

701
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: of our marriage, I cheated on her in a drunken flank.

702
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: She forgave me and we went to marriage counseling. But

703
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: three days ago, while my wife was in the shower,

704
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: I went through her phone and found text confirming she

705
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: was cheating. I felt so betrayed, so I confronted her

706
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: after she got out of the shower. She claims that

707
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: it's okay because I cheated on her and I set

708
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: the precedent for allowing infidelity after counseling. Crazy.

709
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 3: Crazy, I mean, according to the rules, you get one

710
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 3: hall pass for every cheating.

711
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,879
Speaker 1: She got two brocaus five years? Was it four years?

712
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: At that point? It was four years because a five

713
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: relationships she's got too. It's golden rules, baby, always coming

714
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: into plays, coming into play. But like real talk like

715
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: that is a terrible basis for and she it's not

716
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: she's not even remorseful. Yeah, honestly, she's like obviously, I

717
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 1: wonder how many people think like this is probably a.

718
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 3: Lot, a lot, Yeah, I mean yeah, I just think

719
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 3: that's a bad way to continue a relationship.

720
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: It ain't good.

721
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 3: It ain't good, like oh, p fucked up for sure,

722
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 3: but this is not good either, And she's not even remorseful.

723
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: At least he was remorseful's true. True.

724
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 3: I told her that my cheating was one time, a

725
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 3: one time drunken thing, and I haven't done anything since.

726
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 3: I also told her that I don't know the girl

727
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 3: and that she now has a relationship with this guy

728
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 3: I don't know. She got mad and stormed off. She

729
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 3: left for work Friday, and I haven't seen her since.

730
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 3: I know she's with him, and it hurts. I feel

731
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 3: I deserve this, but at the same time, I want

732
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:08,839
Speaker 3: my wife back.

733
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 1: What do I do? And there is an update? I mean,

734
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like the relationship now my.

735
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 3: Guy, Like, I mean like that you you definitely hurt

736
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 3: the relationship by cheating in the first place, but like

737
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 3: it really immature response on her part as well.

738
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: Totally, and you know what, look, even even taking the

739
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: finger pointing or whatever you want to call it. Out

740
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 1: of it, like he went and cheated, Now she's cheating,

741
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: Like I don't know like this, but.

742
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,359
Speaker 2: Her cheating is like it's a one time thing, right,

743
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 2: she got two she's done it more than twice.

744
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

745
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, So she's like even by the Golden Rules of marriage,

746
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 3: like she's she's she's out, she's sure. So I think, like,

747
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 3: I don't know if there's coming back, right.

748
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, real quick. You know what's messed up about

749
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,320
Speaker 2: this Golden Rule's manage?

750
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 4: This is gonna be a joke.

751
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 2: Someone's gonna take it for real, and then they're gonna

752
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: be like, well I heard in this podcast.

753
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 3: Oh and the Golden Rules of marriage are a jokes,

754
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 3: all jokes, ladies and gentlemen, even though people abide by

755
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 3: them secretly.

756
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 2: Secretly, subconsciously, unjustly, unjustly anyway.

757
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 3: Update, So a small portion of you were kind and

758
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 3: understanding and actually gave good advice, but the rest of

759
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 3: you are so rude. So I finally managed to get

760
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 3: a hold of her. She basically told me it's over

761
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 3: and she no longer loves me. Well, at least you

762
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 3: have clarity. I managed to track her location and find

763
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,959
Speaker 3: out who the person she's cheating on me with. And Dave,

764
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 3: if you read this, f you, I honestly can't wait

765
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 3: to get divorced NOWA Dave Opie comments apparently are a

766
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 3: bit of a mess. He In says he hasn't cheated

767
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 3: since then, and possibly feels like a victim. I've done

768
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 3: nothing but love her. Why would she hurt me like this?

769
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 3: She forgave me. I really feel bad, but also at

770
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 3: the same time, wasn't really my fault. It was alcohol.

771
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 3: He has no excuse, bro take so pea.

772
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 4: What's the thing like? Drunken thoughts are.

773
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 3: Drunken actions are sober thoughts? Saying that you were drunk

774
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 3: is not. It's not an you have accountability. I get

775
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: that I have some blame, but after I cheated, I've

776
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 3: been the best husband. I quit drinking for her and

777
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 3: I don't go to parties for her. I don't deserve

778
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:13,879
Speaker 3: this though.

779
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: If you say the best, you're the best husband. Yeah,

780
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 1: I mean the best husband's ain cheating, big go.

781
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 3: I do think there is blame on both sides, to

782
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 3: be clear, but he's like making himself out to be

783
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 3: like the angel and a victim and I don't know

784
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 3: if that's quite it, but here is another update. So

785
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 3: my thirty feo male wife twenty nine female hasn't come

786
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 3: home since the day I confronted her. So I went

787
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: to her HR team today with proof that she was

788
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 3: cheating with Dave.

789
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 1: What is that going to work?

790
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 2: Oh?

791
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 4: Wait? Did they work together?

792
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: Guessing not? But he just pulled up to he replace

793
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: of work and it's like, yeah, it's crazy. Oh come on, whoa?

794
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 4: I think I think they're I think they work together.

795
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 4: That's why? Else what do you do it?

796
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 3: According to some close friends who work with her, when

797
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 3: HR pulled her aside after I left, she came out crying,

798
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 3: and when Dave tried to talk to her, she pushed

799
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 3: him aside and left for the day. This brings me

800
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 3: so much joy. Op, you are an asshole. Yeah, I

801
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 3: have to have respect for myself because that guy who

802
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 3: cheated three years ago doesn't exist anymore. I've quit drinking,

803
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 3: gotten to great shape, and haven't felt better. Obviously. The

804
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,479
Speaker 3: last week has been tough, but knowing hers is about

805
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 3: to get so much worse brings a smile to my face. Also,

806
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 3: she's going to be getting served sometime this week. I

807
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 3: wish I could be there to see her face. Also,

808
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 3: it's a bonus if Dave and her break it off.

809
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 3: OPI went from bad to worse.

810
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 1: Everyone's the a hole and op just way.

811
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 3: Oh but Opie's super ahole now. Yeah, like I in

812
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: the first update, she was more of the a hole

813
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 3: than him. Now he's back to top a hole.

814
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 2: I mean, Opie's like the crab in the bucket, and

815
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 2: he's just.

816
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: Like getting everybody now the crab in the bucket, Yeah.

817
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 4: The crabs of the bucket. Have you ever seen crabs in.

818
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 1: A bucket and there to grabin for things?

819
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 2: No, like the other cbs trying to get out, but

820
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 2: the crabs below them, I'm bringing them down with them.

821
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 1: I didn't really get it until you broke it down

822
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: for me.

823
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 3: But there is another update. Oh so those of you

824
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,320
Speaker 3: who saw my last post know what's up and you

825
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 3: can read it. But if you don't, here's the last update.

826
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 3: My soon to be ex wife lost her job, lost

827
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 3: her boy toy, and lost a lot of friends. She

828
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 3: showed up yesterday asking to talk to which I laughed

829
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 3: in her face and shut the door. I know a

830
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 3: lot of you think I'm a monster and a terrible guy,

831
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 3: but I don't care what you think. Her world is

832
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 3: collapsing and all I can do is laugh. She earned

833
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 3: and deserves all of it. I know I cheated three

834
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 3: years ago, but she forgave me, and I had to

835
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 3: learn to love myself again. She had a full blown

836
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 3: affair four months on end, and she flat told me

837
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 3: she doesn't love me. I was willing to forgive it first,

838
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 3: but now after everything, I can't forgive her. I have

839
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 3: too much respect for myself and Op's last comment on

840
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 3: the update, I have very much improved. Why would she

841
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 3: lose friends if she was so good? There was a

842
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 3: lot of oaths. Why would she cheat when her job

843
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 3: doesn't allow it, especially with someone in the office. Why

844
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,959
Speaker 3: is she losing family support? Why did she lose Dave?

845
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 3: I cheated, yes, but she forgave me, and I've done

846
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 3: a complete one eighty from the day I cheated. And

847
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 3: how does she repay me for the years of change

848
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 3: and love and support and the tens of thousands of

849
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 3: dollars I spent on her. She has an affair that

850
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 3: lasted months. I cheated once and already.

851
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: Paid for it. Now it's her turn. Wow, Okay, so

852
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 1: this is why and I was like even kind of

853
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: hesitant in it. In the middle of the story, something

854
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: happens when you start like going tit for Tat, not

855
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 1: even going tit for Tat, but like grading how bad

856
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 1: each action was and just being like, look like we

857
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: both efed up, and let's try not to do that

858
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: and try not to do more fed up things, because

859
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: then you kind of get into this place of like, oh,

860
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: I can do more stuff to you because you did

861
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: a worse thing.

862
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 3: I would not want to be in a relationship with ope,

863
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 3: seeing like how is I think seeing how someone reacts

864
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 3: in a breakup is mary telling of their character. Yeah,

865
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 3: and the fact that he's so just about vengeance is crazy.

866
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: Which, by the way, I don't know how we haven't

867
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: done this yet. But wait a second, dude, absolute red

868
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: flag on opiate, like just kept getting worse and worse

869
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: and worse and worse for yeah, yeah, yeah, not not

870
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 1: that his his partner was great at all, you know,

871
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: but why would you? Why would you stoop so low?

872
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 2: Why? And real love does not go to for Tat, No,

873
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 2: it Doesn'tmen, brother, do not care for her like that,

874
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: He did not actually love her?

875
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 1: Talk that talk, big protein facts and facts that big

876
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 1: scoop right proteins. But you know what, I would love

877
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: a big scoop of what this final story