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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: I refuse to share my inheritance with my stepsisters because

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Speaker 3: we never got along.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, sorry, you should have played nicer if you wanted

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Speaker 2: my v bucks swamp womp.

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Speaker 3: I thirty one Maile refuse to get my stepsisters any

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Speaker 3: of my inheritance. My father began dating a woman when

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Speaker 3: I was eight years old. He and my mother had

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Speaker 3: already split. The woman he began dating had three other

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Speaker 3: children from another relationship. Me and my stepmother never got along.

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Speaker 3: I never got along with her or her children, and

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Speaker 3: this relationship only seemed to get worse when I moved

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Speaker 3: in with my father when I was twelve years old.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Maleficent to Split seventy

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Speaker 3: nine eighty six, And if you want to submit your

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Speaker 3: own stories, go to the our sush Okay Storytime sub breddit.

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Speaker 3: So for context, my father is a very emotionless man.

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Speaker 3: He made it very clear to my stepmother that she

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Speaker 3: would not parent me and he would not parent her children.

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Speaker 3: Each would deal with their own children, a rule which

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Speaker 3: he abided by, and she did not wait. Gramps said this, no,

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Speaker 3: this is this is Oh he's dad. Oh, get remarried

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Speaker 3: and she they both have children, and he was like,

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Speaker 3: we gotta stick with our own kind. We can't be

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Speaker 3: we can't be cross parenting here.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's insane.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely yeah. To be clear, although he was not

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Speaker 3: emotionally there for her children, he did buy them everything

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Speaker 3: they wanted.

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Speaker 2: Which, as we all know, is what matters most of course,

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Speaker 2: of course, in every story we've ever heard.

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Speaker 3: Exactly they went to private schools, they always had the

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Speaker 3: latest tech and money, and when they came of age,

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Speaker 3: he bought each of them a car. Spending money was

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Speaker 3: my father's way of being emotional. This is exactly how

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Speaker 3: he was with me all the way through my teens.

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Speaker 3: She would increasingly try to control my life, what I

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Speaker 3: could do, where I could go, what money I was allowed,

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Speaker 3: what I could eat. If I mentioned it to my father,

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Speaker 3: he would talk to her and it would stop for

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Speaker 3: a couple of months, but then begin again. The cycle

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Speaker 3: continued all throughout my childhood, and to be honest, nothing

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Speaker 3: she did really bothered me. After years of being around them,

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Speaker 3: they all just became irrevelant to me. As harsh as

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Speaker 3: it sounds, I had no negative or positive feelings towards

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Speaker 3: any of them. Fast forward to when I was fifteen,

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Speaker 3: and this was when the relationship between myself and her

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Speaker 3: and her children really took a turn for the worse.

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Speaker 3: My father got diagnosed with oh NO. As soon as

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Speaker 3: he was diagnosed, he wrote a will and left me everything,

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Speaker 3: the house, the cars, his money, his savings, his other properties,

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Speaker 3: his business, literally everything. The will was left with his

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Speaker 3: solicitor and a copy was given to him. He placed

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Speaker 3: this within with all his other documents, in a secure

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Speaker 3: place so people would know if anything happened to him,

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Speaker 3: what his wishes were. My father was given the all

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Speaker 3: clear after a year of getting treatments and surgeries. It

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Speaker 3: seemed as soon as he was given the all clear,

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Speaker 3: my stepmother found his will and exploded. She came into

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Speaker 3: my room with her oldest daughter, who didn't even live

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Speaker 3: with us at the time, screaming at me, telling me

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Speaker 3: that I had manipulated my father and to get out

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Speaker 3: of her house. Right now before she calls the police.

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Speaker 3: I was sixteen. How had I manipulated him?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? You goodness, I can't believe you've manipulated your father

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Speaker 2: into acting and behaving the exact way he's always acted

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Speaker 2: since for forever.

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Speaker 3: Get out of my house. Yeah, get out, sixteen year old,

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Speaker 3: that's insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just mad that she gets ain't getting no money, which, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you'll never see anything get between people faster than.

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Speaker 3: Money, money, money, money, money. I left, as I said previously,

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Speaker 3: nothing these people could say to me wouldever bother me.

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Speaker 3: They were irrelevant to me. I rang my father and

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Speaker 3: informed him what had happened. Also said previously, my father

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Speaker 3: is emotionless. I have never heard him change his tone

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Speaker 3: of voice, let alone get angry. He turned up to

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Speaker 3: the house within twenty minutes of getting my phone call,

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Speaker 3: and as soon as he was back, he told my

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Speaker 3: stepsisters to leave so that he and my stepmother could

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Speaker 3: My stepsisters came outside and all four of us were there,

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Speaker 3: and I believe, for the first time in my life,

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Speaker 3: I heard my father raise his voice. I couldn't make

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Speaker 3: out what he was saying, but after five minutes he

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Speaker 3: came out of the house and told me to get

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Speaker 3: into his car. We were going to get food. That's scary.

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Speaker 2: It is like where we're going.

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Speaker 3: Get in the car.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna go get food, and then you're trapped.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, in the car. He went back to his normal self.

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Speaker 3: My dad's never tried a hiding anything from me, So

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Speaker 3: I asked what he said to my stepmother. He had

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Speaker 3: told her everything he owns goes to me, and that

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Speaker 3: will never change the next few years. I don't think

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Speaker 3: my stepmother or stepsisters spoke to me. Maybe menial things

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Speaker 3: like hello, goodbye, but definitely not a conversation, not until

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Speaker 3: I was eighteen. When I was eighteen, my dad and

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Speaker 3: stepmother gathered me and her children and informed us all

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Speaker 3: that they were buying a new family home. My stepmother's

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Speaker 3: oldest daughter said, oh, that's nice. He'll get a good

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Speaker 3: price for this one, and before my stepmother replied, my

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Speaker 3: father interrupted and informed us all that he wasn't selling,

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Speaker 3: he was giving the house to me. Whoa oh, giving

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Speaker 3: the mom so pee ooh. This was his house, he

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Speaker 3: had bought it before he even met my stepmother. Every

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Speaker 3: one of them turned and in unison began screaming at me,

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Speaker 3: how I take all of my father's money and things

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Speaker 3: along those lines. I didn't even know my father was

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Speaker 3: giving me the house. I didn't even know he was

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Speaker 3: buying a new one. My oldest stepsister began hysterically screaming

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Speaker 3: for me to give her the house. She had a

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Speaker 3: husband and a child, she needed it, and I was

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Speaker 3: going to UNI, so I didn't. That's a lot of

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Speaker 3: information to be thrown at you, and then screamed again

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Speaker 3: at you to.

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Speaker 2: Sew anger, Do we think that screaming at op and

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Speaker 2: demanding that she give you the house is the best

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Speaker 2: way to go about this situation, even from a selfish perspective, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Don't think so. I don't think screaming is to get

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Speaker 3: your way is ever going to actually work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: My father then piped up with his calm unchanging voice

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Speaker 3: that the new house being bought would be split equally

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Speaker 3: between himself and my stepmother, so when they pass, I

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Speaker 3: would get his fifty percent and they would share their

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Speaker 3: mother's fifty percent. This did not help the situation, and

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Speaker 3: instead I began getting screamed at more. So give her

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Speaker 3: a break.

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Speaker 2: But they're gonna already have another house. Yeah, they're buying

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Speaker 2: another house. Yeah, op's getting the original house that dad

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Speaker 2: bought for himself. I don't see why we can't just

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Speaker 2: all get along here.

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Speaker 3: It's like, well, he's not dead yet, you guys, he

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Speaker 3: hasn't passed away yet. Like, you don't need to be

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Speaker 3: thinking about what you're gonna get when he passes right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you don't need to be getting mad about that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's kind of dark to do, man. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I was indifferent to them, so it didn't really phase me,

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Speaker 3: and we moved on. Twelve years later, I am now

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Speaker 3: thirty years old. My stepmother and my father have been

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Speaker 3: broken up for about three years. Whoa still living together?

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Speaker 3: Just completely separate?

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Speaker 2: Oh that sounds fun.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy, man. I haven't spoken to my stepsisters in

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Speaker 3: ten years, even though I see at least one of

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Speaker 3: them every other week. My stepmother got diagnosed with terminal

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, Oh my god, I can't get a break.

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Speaker 3: She only had twelve to eighteen months to live. She

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Speaker 3: moved in with her eldest daughter due to needing round

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Speaker 3: the clock care, and my father couldn't provide it for her.

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Speaker 3: So four months pass and none of them have contacted

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Speaker 3: my father, not once. He had a stroke and ended

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Speaker 3: up going into a coma.

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Speaker 2: Whoa, my god.

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Speaker 3: After being in the coma for two weeks, I reached

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Speaker 3: out and let my stepmother know. I didn't delay on purpose.

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Speaker 3: They just never crossed my mind.

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Speaker 2: Which I guess is again it makes sense. It's like

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Speaker 2: everything has always been separated. Yeah, it's been three years

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Speaker 2: now since the previous part of that story you just heard.

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Speaker 3: Don't blame you. The day after I informed her, I

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Speaker 3: went around to his house to collect all of his

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Speaker 3: documents in preparation for his passing. I wanted everything ready

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Speaker 3: rather than having to search for it, and his locks

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Speaker 3: had been changed. This didn't bother me. I just went

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Speaker 3: home and forgot about it. Three weeks later, my father

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Speaker 3: came out of his coma and was due to be

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Speaker 3: sent home. He was severely unwell, but he was alive.

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Speaker 3: So I went round to my stepmother, got the new keys,

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Speaker 3: and took him home. After a week of being home,

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Speaker 3: he received a letter from his pension informing him of

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Speaker 3: a benefit area change. So he rang and his pension

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Speaker 3: had been changed into my stepmother's name.

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Speaker 2: All financial crimes, you become what now?

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Speaker 3: My father had three private pensions, and every one of

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Speaker 3: them had been changed, his signature had been forged on

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Speaker 3: documents felony. We then went through every important thing that

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Speaker 3: was of value, pension, cars, bank accounts, everything. She had

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Speaker 3: changed all of my father's car log books into her

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Speaker 3: name and his pensions. In total, around eight hundred and

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Speaker 3: fifty thousand dollars worth of assets and money she would

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Speaker 3: have stolen if he had passed away when he was

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Speaker 3: in his coma eight hundred and fifty thousand.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if this is like the crime equivalent of

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Speaker 2: like unrealized capital gains. Yeah, where it's like, yeah, you

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Speaker 2: almost stole eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of assets,

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Speaker 2: but because you didn't, technically you're not going to go

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Speaker 2: to jail to dude.

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Speaker 3: I don't know though, I think she should.

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Speaker 2: I think she maybe might need to go somewhere. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: for almost stealing nearly a million dollars from this, uh,

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Speaker 2: from OPI's dad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it sound like he was just like alive

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Speaker 3: and well and she did this like he very well

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Speaker 3: could have passed away.

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Speaker 2: I think she was doing this. So the forgery you

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Speaker 2: can definitely get got for for sure, right, but you can't.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you can get got for like stealing

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Speaker 2: eight hundred and fifty K because you didn't, you tried to,

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Speaker 2: you wanted to, So I'm sure there's a different crime

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Speaker 2: corresponding penalty for that.

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Speaker 3: Dude. I don't know. However, the one good thing from

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Speaker 3: this was when we rang the mortgage company for the

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Speaker 3: property they had bought together, they had informed us that

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Speaker 3: the property was in fact bought on a joint mortgage,

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Speaker 3: which means both of them own one hundred percent of

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Speaker 3: the property. If one dies, the survivor gets one hundred

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Speaker 3: percent of the property. This wasn't an issue for my father.

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Speaker 3: He said she could have one hundred percent if he

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Speaker 3: passes away before it sells. Once confronted with the attempted theft,

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Speaker 3: she just said, I thought you would have wanted me

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Speaker 3: to have it. I thought you would have wanted me.

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Speaker 2: To have it. I'm going to go to the bank

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Speaker 2: and do that same thing. I'm gonna steal all the

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Speaker 2: money out of the vault, and then when the cops

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Speaker 2: arrest me, I'm gonna say I just thought they wanted

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Speaker 2: me to have that money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought they just loved me. Really, And they'll say, oh, okay,

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Speaker 3: you're just a little baby.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we'll let you out. We don't have any room

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Speaker 2: for babies in jail, so we'll let you go.

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Speaker 3: Exactly after this, the relationship between them soured. They both

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Speaker 3: wanted to sell the house. However, she wanted one hundred

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Speaker 3: percent of it. They agreed that he would get thirty

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Speaker 3: and she would get seventy. He was happy to give

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Speaker 3: it to her. So we were going through some more

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Speaker 3: of his documents and found his life insurance documents. I

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Speaker 3: knew my father was wealthy, but I never imagined how

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Speaker 3: wealthy until I saw how much the life insurance policy

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Speaker 3: was four and I was downed as one hundred percent beneficiary. Wow,

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Speaker 3: you're getting You're getting bank dude, touching to ching. Whilst

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Speaker 3: reading through the life insurance documents, I noticed a small

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Speaker 3: section on a cohabiting policy. So my father rang them

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Speaker 3: and they informed us, Yes, even though I was down

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Speaker 3: as beneficiary, she would be still entitled to claim fifty

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Speaker 3: percent because they are legally in a cohabitation partnership. Doesn't

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Speaker 3: matter that they are no longer together. They have a

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Speaker 3: joint mortgage, which is all the proof she would need. So, okay,

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Speaker 3: let me get this straight. They have a joint mortgage.

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Speaker 3: So that means that if he passes away, then she

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Speaker 3: still has access to like fifty percent of well she

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Speaker 3: gets the house.

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Speaker 2: The joint I think the joint mortgage is, oh, okay,

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Speaker 2: is a different thing.

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Speaker 3: I see the fifty percent that she would beginning would

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Speaker 3: still be.

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Speaker 2: From the life insurance posit I think the joint, the

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Speaker 2: joint mortgage and the cohabitation is more of just like

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Speaker 2: a just like it kind of just gives more weight,

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Speaker 2: like or what's it called credence. It's like it solidifies

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Speaker 2: the life insurance policy more. It's like, we guys have

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Speaker 2: a joint mortgage and you're cohabitating, right, So it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: she is still entitled to fifty percent of the life

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Speaker 2: insurance policy.

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Speaker 3: And I think the point I think that's the point

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Speaker 3: of that. I don't know, that's crazy though, that's pretty wild.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I would say stop living with the

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Speaker 2: woman who tries to steal everything out from under your

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Speaker 2: daughter's nose. Yes, absolutely, yeah, and didn't care that you

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Speaker 2: were in one.

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Speaker 3: So, after my father had taken a turn for the

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Speaker 3: worst and after speaking to a solicitor, me and him

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Speaker 3: devised a plan. We had asked the solicitor to send

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Speaker 3: a letter to them informing that my father would not

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Speaker 3: sell the property unless it was a seventy thirty split

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Speaker 3: to him. To be honest, he probably is entitled to

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Speaker 3: that because she never paid a penny for anything. He

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Speaker 3: didn't care about the house, just the life insurance. Now,

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Speaker 3: one of my stepsisters is a solicitor, and we were

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Speaker 3: hoping that her first reaction would be to ensure that

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Speaker 3: her mother got at least fifty percent and not thirty

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Speaker 3: point five, and we were correct. A week after our

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Speaker 3: solicitors sent the letter, we received a notice of separance

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Speaker 3: from my stepsister informing my father that on the grounds

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Speaker 3: that he and my stepmother had split, they are both

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Speaker 3: entitled to fifty percent of the house. This is what

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Speaker 3: we needed to legally show that she is no longer cohabiting. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so it seems like we're on the right ish track.

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Speaker 2: Yes we are. We are playing the game.

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Speaker 3: Playing the game. My father passed three weeks after we

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Speaker 3: received this whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh my gosh, I was

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00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,840
Speaker 3: not expecting that to happen. At his funeral, my stepmother

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00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,680
Speaker 3: and stepsisters turned up and they were joyous, happy, and laughing.

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Speaker 3: This didn't really bother me. I knew how petty they

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Speaker 3: were and expected it anyway. Six months after my father's funeral,

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Speaker 3: my wife and child were out with friends out of

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Speaker 3: play area for the kids, and my eldest stepsister was

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00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,520
Speaker 3: there with her husband and children. I could see them

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Speaker 3: staring and giggling, and eventually they came over. They mentioned

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Speaker 3: the house and how we tried and failed to rob

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Speaker 3: twenty percent of it from them, and some other things.

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Speaker 3: Then she started to say disrespectful things about my father

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Speaker 3: and I snapped. I told them we didn't care about

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Speaker 3: the house. My dad didn't want my stepmother to get

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Speaker 3: his life insurance oof. My stepsisters went quiet for around

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Speaker 3: thirty seconds and then started asking what I meant. I

302
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Speaker 3: just grabbed my child and me and my wife left.

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Speaker 3: The next day, I was bombarded with phone calls asking

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Speaker 3: what my father had left me, and I told them

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Speaker 3: every single thing I got an inheritance. I told them

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Speaker 3: right down to the last penny, and then proceeded to

307
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,280
Speaker 3: brag about how we needed them to file for the

308
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,160
Speaker 3: severance because if we did, they would block and delay

309
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:12,080
Speaker 3: its suspecting something. He's just like monologuing their evil plan

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Speaker 3: to these these people.

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Speaker 2: Now, oh yeah, I mean it's I think at this point,

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Speaker 2: I hope, at least at this point, there's nothing that

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00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,520
Speaker 2: can be done. The father has passed away. None of

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00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,480
Speaker 2: the stuff that has been laid out can be changed,

315
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,160
Speaker 2: been done. It's it's fine, not everything.

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Speaker 3: I was then non stop harrassed for the next couple

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00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,760
Speaker 3: of weeks, being told I didn't deserve the money, that

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00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,000
Speaker 3: I should split it four ways because he was all

319
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,280
Speaker 3: of our father, not just mine. Then the threats started,

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00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,680
Speaker 3: and I received a letter from my stepmother's youngest daughter,

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00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 3: who was a solicitor, informing me of legal proceedings that

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00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:44,520
Speaker 3: they were going to take.

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Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,200
Speaker 2: There's just get over it.

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Speaker 3: You think you should do.

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Speaker 2: You deserve absolutely nothing. You showed up to his funeral

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Speaker 2: and you laughed and smiled. Yeah, you're basically cartoon villains.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that's evil. Yeah. Talk. So now, after four months

329
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,040
Speaker 3: of this, we were informed today that they have no

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00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,120
Speaker 3: legal claim to any of my father's inheritance due to

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00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 3: all his paperwork, will and beneficiaries on his policies which

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00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,600
Speaker 3: he was in sound mind when he completed it has

333
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 3: ruled in my favor. Indeed, I received another phone call

334
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,600
Speaker 3: from my eldest stepsister after I found out about winning

335
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,960
Speaker 3: the case, begging me to split the money in assets

336
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,960
Speaker 3: or at least give them the money from the house

337
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,200
Speaker 3: that my father and their mother owned together.

338
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,360
Speaker 2: Dude, that's gonna be the biggest no for me of

339
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,000
Speaker 2: all time.

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Speaker 3: My god, Yeah, I.

341
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 2: Have one question. Did you laugh at my father's funeral?

342
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 2: The answer is yes, about that twenty percent that we

343
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,760
Speaker 2: failed to get from you? Were you laughing and smiling

344
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,240
Speaker 2: and giggling about getting the one up on my dad?

345
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,240
Speaker 3: If that answers yes, this answer is no.

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00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:53,920
Speaker 2: Ee. Come on, come on. If you say no, then

347
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go be like, Oh, there was someone who

348
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 2: looked exactly like you at the funeral who did that?

349
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,040
Speaker 2: That's crazy. Go find your doppelganger. You want to make

350
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,920
Speaker 2: some money, you want some real money. Go find your

351
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 2: twin and you can make a whole circus act.

352
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,680
Speaker 3: But with you and your doppelganger, Well, he's got a

353
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,920
Speaker 3: million dollar ideas? Are here full of them?

354
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,160
Speaker 2: Call E B. Barnum or whatever?

355
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 3: TB.

356
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,160
Speaker 2: What was his name? What was his first name Barnum

357
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 2: pt pt Barhum. Yeah, I said eb Barnum, e b.

358
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 2: I think that's actually a guy as a character from

359
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,680
Speaker 2: Perry Mason. I'm gonna stop turning the brain off.

360
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,760
Speaker 3: Turn the brain off, but I want you to turn

361
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 3: your brain on and go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio

362
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 3: and go search up. Okay, storytime, where what are you

363
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:35,760
Speaker 3: gonna find?

364
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:40,040
Speaker 2: Zacona, We're gonna you find like twelve hundred plus hours

365
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,240
Speaker 2: of stories to listen to.

366
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 3: Dude, so many stories, full episodes with full of stories,

367
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,400
Speaker 3: just like this, full of stories, and we gotten some

368
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 3: more to this story, but we have any final thoughts

369
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 3: before we roll on in.

370
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 2: I just really like that the time jump between like, yeah,

371
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 2: so they submitted all this paperwork and they're like we're

372
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 2: gonna sue you and like take the money, and then

373
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 2: it was like so I immediately on the case and

374
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, so there was nothing going on there,

375
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 2: ye had no shot. Yeah, And I'm glad because honestly,

376
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 2: the amount the absurd disrespect of like going to the

377
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:15,199
Speaker 2: funeral and openly basically being happy that he's passed because

378
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,480
Speaker 2: he's insane financially from it, Dude, It's so gross.

379
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 3: They just don't go to the funeral. If you are

380
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 3: happy that someone has passed away, don't go to the funeral. Yeah,

381
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,600
Speaker 3: it's so incredibly evil and disrespectful.

382
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,199
Speaker 2: Don't come to my house, don't don't call me.

383
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,439
Speaker 3: But we do have a little bit more so. My

384
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 3: wife believes that I should just give them something to

385
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 3: leave us alone, but that would go against what my

386
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 3: father wanted. Me and my wife both earned good money,

387
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,760
Speaker 3: so we wouldn't miss it. And the only one of

388
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,919
Speaker 3: my stepsisters who earns decent money is the solicitor. The

389
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,120
Speaker 3: other two are desperate for money. But when I think

390
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 3: about it, I'm constantly reminded that I don't actually care

391
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,400
Speaker 3: for these people, so why should I help them out?

392
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole? We do have a

393
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 3: quick edit just to make it clear. Oh, my stepmother

394
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,640
Speaker 3: passed away around three months ago. The house was sold

395
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,119
Speaker 3: for one point two million, so they did receive inheritance

396
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 3: around two hundred k each, assuming that she left equal

397
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 3: amounts to each of her children. And that is it.

398
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 3: So they just still want even more want.

399
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,640
Speaker 2: I would say womp womp to those you know, look,

400
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 2: and it's like, I don't know, is there a situation,

401
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 2: you could be the aliers, like maybe, like you know,

402
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,480
Speaker 2: I would say if there were like kids involved, It's

403
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 2: like maybe if you've got the money to help set

404
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,880
Speaker 2: them up like positively in the future because the children

405
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 2: are innocent. But there's no kids in this context. Well,

406
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,639
Speaker 2: I mean, but I see, you have your own kids.

407
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 2: You gotta watch out for them first.

408
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,679
Speaker 3: And it's just like you don't owe them anything. You

409
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,679
Speaker 3: literally don't know them anything. It was they were always

410
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,760
Speaker 3: mad at Op for like getting things from the father

411
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,960
Speaker 3: when it was not Op's choice at all. OPI was

412
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 3: just like, I just found out that I'm getting this.

413
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 3: Why are you out to me?

414
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,400
Speaker 2: They're like, you manipulated your father.

415
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:54,879
Speaker 3: Answer.

416
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 2: I'm sixteen, I'm learning about trigonometry exactly.

417
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,360
Speaker 3: So it's like, what is the point, Like, there's they

418
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 3: never cared about They never were nice about this whole

419
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 3: money thing. It's just no, you're definitely not the a hole.

420
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 3: Keep your money. You don't owe them anything.

421
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:16,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, my stepdaughter's mother has horrible hygiene. It's affected my

422
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 2: help go wash.

423
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 3: Just think yourself.

424
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 2: I twenty nine female, am four months pregnant with my

425
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 2: and my husband's first baby. We are very happy for

426
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 2: our baby and excited to be parents, but my pregnancy

427
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 2: proved to be more difficult than I expect it. The

428
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 2: main problem is I have extreme nausea. Some smells that

429
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,119
Speaker 2: I used to like before now make me sick. I

430
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 2: can smell everything around me, and the things that make

431
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: me very, very sick are food and body odor.

432
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 3: Oh no.

433
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user critical Net twenty

434
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 2: eight twenty one, and if you want to submit your

435
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 2: own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime subburd it. So,

436
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 2: my husband has a daughter from his previous relationship, Violet thirteen, female,

437
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 2: and as per the custody agreement, she comes to stay

438
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 2: with us every week from Friday after school to Sunday

439
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 2: afternoon slash evening. I have nothing against Violet, and we

440
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 2: used to have a decent relationship, but she thinks and

441
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 2: it's making it impossible to live in my own home.

442
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: Oh no, Yes, Op is talking in the literal sense. Yeah,

443
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 2: her mother is against chemical deodorance, so she buys her

444
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 2: some natural things. No, do not cover the sweat smell.

445
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,200
Speaker 3: Don't work?

446
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:22,879
Speaker 2: Don't they don't?

447
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 3: I don't believe they work.

448
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 2: It's not only that she smells, it's also her clothes

449
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 2: that have a very nasty smell, like sweat and musty

450
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 2: and old. It's a very nasty combination, and it's making

451
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 2: me barf every time I am near her. We tried

452
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 2: finding solutions, but with no results. Violet refuses to wear

453
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 2: the clothes that are in our house and that are

454
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 2: clean and fresh. Instead, she comes from her mother's place

455
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 2: with a set of clothes and pajamas, wears them while

456
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 2: she is here, and takes them back to her mother's

457
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 2: each Sunday. That is a strange little fixation there. I

458
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 2: wonder why that's happening.

459
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: Like she washes her closes her mom's house.

460
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 2: Well, it's like, yeah, she refuses to wear any clothes

461
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 2: that didn't come from her mom's house.

462
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 3: Interesting.

463
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 2: I'm just hoping it's not like I'm wearing these on

464
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: purpose to like upset ope stes.

465
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure it's not.

466
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 2: She always refuses, saying that her clothes are clean, yeah,

467
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 2: so clean that she stinks. Her mother refuses to cooperate

468
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,919
Speaker 2: on this as well. She refuses to convince Violet to

469
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 2: allow us to wash her clothes because we don't use

470
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 2: natural products and claims her daughter does not smell it.

471
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 2: Became an entire nightmare for me to live in my

472
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 2: own house while she's here. I tried, I really did

473
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 2: try different approaches, but they always failed. During lunch your dinner,

474
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 2: I tried staying as far away from her as possible,

475
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 2: but I can still smell her hacking smell yeah, which

476
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 2: results in me not being able to eat and very

477
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 2: often puke in my guts out oh gosh. When she

478
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 2: is here, I fill the house with a lot of

479
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 2: scented candles and wear a lot of perfume on myself

480
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 2: in order to have another predominant smell. Sometimes it helps,

481
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 2: sometimes it doesn't, but it's not healthy for me to

482
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 2: live in a house filled with smoke and perfume. As

483
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 2: I said, After trying multiple solutions and discussing with the

484
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 2: mother who refuse to cooperate with us, my husband got

485
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 2: tired of seeing me sick and told Violet and her

486
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 2: mother that she cannot come to our house anymore until

487
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 2: I give birth. He explained to them that I need

488
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 2: to be able to relax and enjoy being in my

489
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 2: own home, which I can't do anymore due to their

490
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 2: refusal to be understanding of our situation. So far, this

491
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 2: all sounds pretty reasonable to me.

492
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 3: Absolutely, she's pregnant, she's pruggr. You gotta do what you

493
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 3: can for these pregnant people, man, you really do. They're

494
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 3: going through a lot just to have another human exist

495
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 3: in the world.

496
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: She's got hypersensitivity right now. Yeah, And she's like, you know,

497
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 2: maybe you wouldn't be too stanky if I wasn't hyper

498
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 2: sensitive right now right Violet's mother sent me a nasty text.

499
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 2: I wonder if it's as nasty as her smell, accusing

500
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,159
Speaker 2: me of being the reason why my husband is abandoning

501
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 2: his daughter. No one is abandoning anybody. We will start

502
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 2: allowing her to come over after I give birth. She said,

503
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 2: as a woman, I should make an effort and make

504
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: my husband be closer to his kid. In response, I

505
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 2: sent her the following message, quote, well, as a woman,

506
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 2: you should be able to understand that pregnancy sickness is

507
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 2: not something I can control. Also, as a woman, you

508
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 2: should be focused on your daughter's hygiene and not let

509
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 2: her smell like a dumpster babe.

510
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 3: Oh, she's right, she's right, because I mean that first

511
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 3: text saying like, as a woman, you should want to

512
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 3: rebo your man. It's like that has nothing to do

513
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 3: with being a woman. The second one, I mean, the

514
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 3: hygiene one also not really.

515
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 2: Anything to do with the woman's being a person. But like,

516
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 2: but if you're as a.

517
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: Woman, yeah you should. You should know as a woman

518
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 3: with a kid too, you should know, like what pregnancy is,

519
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 3: Like I guess you know, unless you go a different route.

520
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: But if we're assuming here, then yeah, like her comeback

521
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 3: made a lot more sense than the original insult.

522
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 2: True. She replied that I have no idea how hard

523
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 2: it is to be in her situation, and that I

524
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 2: am a nutstaf of criticizing a fellow mother. You're literally

525
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: criticizing a fellow soon to be mother.

526
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 3: You started it. You mean you started it.

527
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 2: You're saying that she's abandoning your child. That's not criticism. Yeah,

528
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: exactly crazy. We have an update here, let's go ahead

529
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 2: and jump in. I have received a lot of feedback

530
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: from you. Thank you very much for your kind words.

531
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: For those who came to my post only to share

532
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 2: negative energy and spread your childhood trauma on me, the

533
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 2: only thing I can say is that I feel sorry

534
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 2: for you, and I hope you never experienced the symptoms

535
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: that some of us face.

536
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 3: During pregnancy.

537
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: I have seen so many idiotic replies and so many

538
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 2: people thinking that a woman can push a button and

539
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 2: stop getting sick. Because at finettall you need to deal

540
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 2: with that. You people are insane. This is not how

541
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: it works. Some of you demanded me to leave my

542
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: own house to go stay at a hotel. I'm obviously

543
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 2: not going to do this. I also went to my

544
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 2: doctor for a check up and discussed alternative solutions some

545
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,959
Speaker 2: of you gave me. Many people suggested I should use

546
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 2: VICX on my upper lip, and my doctor told me

547
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 2: he does not recommend that for frequent use. Once in

548
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,239
Speaker 2: a while is okay, like if you need to go

549
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 2: somewhere and you need to block certain smells, But on

550
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 2: a weekly basis, three days a week, he said very

551
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: firmly no. He also gave me a lot of crap

552
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 2: for all the perfume and candles that I use. It

553
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 2: instructed us to use as few things as poss What

554
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 2: he recommended was to keep away from things that make

555
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 2: me sick, have things around us clean, and keep the

556
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 2: windows open as much as possible for fresh air to

557
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 2: get into the house. Now the update, my husband is

558
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 2: very firm on the decision to not have Violet around

559
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 2: our house until I give birth and until we see

560
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 2: her respecting our home in our rules. As mentioned in

561
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 2: multiple replies, he will still see his daughter as per

562
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 2: the custody agreement, but they will meet outside our home.

563
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 2: He's like, well, Violet, welcome to the tent in the backyard.

564
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're going camping this week and next Week's so fun.

565
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 2: For the next five months, it's camp out time. I

566
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 2: have a stick of deodorant that you could put off.

567
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 3: Could I offer you a nice clean towel for our

568
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 3: beautiful shower matrix?

569
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 4: Red pill, blue Pill? But it's a stick of deodorant

570
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 4: and a tent.

571
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, it's a stick of deodorant and a

572
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 2: can of Sterno's.

573
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 3: Like, what do you want?

574
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 2: Opposed to some of your beliefs that we intend to

575
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: abandon her or permanently ban her from our house because

576
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 2: I want my baby to replace her, We don't, and

577
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: you are very deranged. I don't know how you operate

578
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 2: and think, but my baby will never be a replacement

579
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 2: for anyone. He will be his own person. He's already

580
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: extremely loved and will continue to be. He will always

581
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 2: have security and everything he needs and yes, I can

582
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 2: provide everything for him on my own. Of course, I

583
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 2: want him to have his father in his life, but

584
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: it's not like I will ever depend on a man

585
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 2: or can't provide for my kids, so I need to

586
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 2: push away his step siblings. Yesterday, my husband picked up

587
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 2: Violet from school and took her to my mother in

588
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: law's house. The plan was for Violet to spend the

589
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 2: weekend at mother in law's, my husband to see her

590
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 2: during the day and come back to sleep at our house.

591
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 2: Husband and mother in law intended to use the occasion

592
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 2: of Violet staying at her place to discipline her and

593
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 2: get her used to a clear routine. She gets home,

594
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: she takes a shower and changes her clothes. Unfortunately, everything

595
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 2: has turned into a circus. When husband and got to

596
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 2: my mother in law's house, she was requested to go

597
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 2: take a shower and her clothes over to be washed

598
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 2: and wear something clean as expected. She refused and they

599
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 2: started arguing. Violet kept saying that her clothes are clean

600
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 2: and that I'm not around, so there's no need for

601
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,919
Speaker 2: her father and grandmother to bother her. Based on what

602
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 2: my husband told me, he tried to keep his cool

603
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 2: and enforce the rules. But my mother in law just

604
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,199
Speaker 2: lost it.

605
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 3: Oh man.

606
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 2: Mother in law was very furious and started shouting at Violet,

607
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 2: calling her a lot of names like rude and dirty.

608
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 2: She told her that she stinks. She told her that

609
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 2: she should be ashamed of herself. Oh my dear public,

610
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 2: because she's embarrassing everybody around her. And she told her

611
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 2: that she is ruining our family.

612
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Hey, well, maybe let's not do that,

613
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 4: ruining the family.

614
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 3: That's crazy.

615
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 2: The response to the thirteen year old being stinky is

616
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 2: not to give her emotional trauma. Yeah, come on, for

617
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: god's sakes, mother in law, puberty.

618
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 3: These are new stinks that she's having to deal with. Yeah,

619
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 3: come on, gotta learn new hygiene stuff. That's normal at

620
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: that age.

621
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, being stinky is a part of growing up, and

622
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 4: then you learn how to.

623
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 3: Not be stinky.

624
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 2: That's the American way Stinky's got it. Instead of husband

625
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 2: being able to relax in his own house with his

626
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 2: family after a long week of work, he is forced

627
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 2: to spend time outside his home just because she is

628
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 2: a selfish brat. Violet started crying and shouting at my

629
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 2: mother in law, which makes sense. After everyone calmed down

630
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 2: a little. My husband asked Violet, what is it with her?

631
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 2: He told her that she indeed smells bad and everyone

632
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 2: around can feel it. He told her, if she thinks

633
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 2: we are all biased and against her, then he will

634
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: call CPS. A counselor will document everything, and he will

635
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 2: take her mother to court for neglect.

636
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: What this guys so extreme?

637
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 2: This is like using a You know we have an

638
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 2: ant problem, all right, what are we gonna do? Well,

639
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 2: We're gonna shove a hand grenade down into the ant hill.

640
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, idea just burned down the house. Yeah,

641
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 3: that's so extreme. We don't need to be called CPS

642
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 3: for hormonal stinks. Man.

643
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: He explained to Violet that I am not against her,

644
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: No one is against her, but by smelling like this,

645
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 2: she is causing me to get sick a lot, and

646
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 2: showed her some of my medical reports where it's clearly

647
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 2: written that all the symptoms I'm having with this pregnancy.

648
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 2: Violet started crying again and claimed that she thought I

649
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: was exaggerating and doing it on purpose because her mother

650
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 2: told her pregnancy sickness is just an excuse and not

651
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 2: something real. Which look, it's like this is probably that's

652
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 2: the classic case of like confirmation bias. She probably was

653
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 2: pregnant and did not have any issues with smell. So

654
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: then she goes, well, that's not a real thing, that's

655
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 2: just fake. Yeah.

656
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 3: It's like, well, yeah, because we all know that everyone's

657
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: pregnancy experience is exactly the same, right.

658
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 2: Experience is relative. Yeah. Unfortunately, mother in law once again

659
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: got furious and accused Violet of being a liar. Mother

660
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: in law told her that all teenagers spends so much

661
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 2: time online and have access to so much information that

662
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 2: Violet could have just googled pregnancy symptoms and educated herself.

663
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 2: She then she refuses to enable Violet and will come

664
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 2: stay with me? Who what the mom? The mom?

665
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 3: So now now we're leaving Violet alone at the house.

666
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 3: Mom's like, I can't take it anywhere either.

667
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 2: No, I think I think it's that the mother in law.

668
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: From Ope's perspective, so this is a grandmother and I'm

669
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 2: pretty sure that Violet is staying at her mom's house. Yes,

670
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 2: so it would be more like the ex partner of

671
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: Ope's now husband is where Violet lives, and I think

672
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 2: the mother in law maybe lives.

673
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 3: There as well.

674
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: Okay, that's what it sounds like, which would be Violet's grandma,

675
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 2: So law, now Grandma's like, I'm gonna move in with

676
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 2: Ope and my son.

677
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: It's like, now that we're bringing it up, man, I

678
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: don't like it either.

679
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, now that it's all out there, you do stink, Violet.

680
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 2: So here's where we all are now. Mother in law

681
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 2: got a bag and came to stay with me yesterday.

682
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 2: She will be staying until tomorrow when Violet is taken

683
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 2: back to her mom's. We took advantage of the situation,

684
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 2: and we also called my sister in law over. So

685
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 2: as I'm riding this, we are have a girl's weekend

686
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 2: at my place and I really enjoy it. And by

687
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 2: the way, you could really enjoy listening to full episodes

688
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 2: with stories like this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio wherever

689
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: I listen to podcasts, just search. Okay, story time. We're

690
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 2: up to fifty three consecutive day's worth of stories keeps

691
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: going up, man, So if you can manage to listen

692
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 2: to it at double speed, that's less than a month

693
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: that it would take for you to listen to every

694
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 2: single story we've ever had. If you just keep it

695
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 2: on and never stop listening, So get to work. There's

696
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 2: a little bit more story left.

697
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 3: Okay.

698
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: Husband wanted to take Violet to her mom's and come home,

699
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 2: but I told him not to. He should use this

700
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 2: weekend alone with Violet to fix things and overall parent

701
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: her and make her understand our rules and our conditions.

702
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 2: My husband will update us tomorrow on how things went

703
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 2: and what the next steps will be. I have no

704
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 2: idea it's going to happen, but I will not spend

705
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 2: too much energy on it. I need to focus on

706
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 2: my baby and my health, and Violet's parents need.

707
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 3: To deal with their child.

708
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

709
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 3: Oh well, we got a good solution there.

710
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: I kind of like the separation of duty there. It's like, yeh, look,

711
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 2: I get it, but that's not my kid, it's yours,

712
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 2: and I can't be her mom or her you know, So.

713
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 3: Let those who are directly involved to figure it out

714
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 3: exactly exactly.

715
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: Here's johnio og host here. We're gonna get back to

716
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 2: the stories, but he's a quick three minute break of

717
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 2: ass from our sponsors.

718
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 3: My sister ruined my wedding, so I blocked her, blocked.

719
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 3: This all started when my sister Ashley was diagnosed with

720
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 3: severe autism and ADHD around the age of two. It

721
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 3: was normal, just a lot of temper tantrums, but at

722
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 3: the age of five, she finally learned that she can

723
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: do anything she wants without consequences. That's true. Is an

724
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: age koda.

725
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure that checks out.

726
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 4: By the way.

727
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 3: This comes from Dramatic Hamster and if you want to

728
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the ur slash Okay

729
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 3: story time subreddit. So whenever I had something she didn't have,

730
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 3: my parents would always either get her the same thing

731
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 3: or I had to give it to her. I always

732
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 3: tried to argue back, but my parents always said that

733
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 3: I was being unfair and to be nice to my

734
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 3: sister because of her condition. In some occasions, she would

735
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 3: even run into my room and brag about how mom

736
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 3: was taking her to the store or got a new

737
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 3: toy that I didn't have. Yeah, because she's five. She's

738
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 3: five years old.

739
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 2: That's a five year old.

740
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 3: It's a time to learn to not do that though.

741
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 3: I was pretty fed up with this, so I decided

742
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 3: to save up my allowance money for a lock for

743
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 3: my door so I could get some privacy. After my

744
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 3: sister tried one of her attempts to barge into my

745
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 3: room and realize that she couldn't open it. She started

746
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 3: to complain to my parents about it. I tried explaining

747
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 3: to my parents how she can't keep barging into my room.

748
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 3: My parents argued back, seeing how I'm being selfish and

749
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 3: how I should just let her do it because of

750
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 3: her condition. I couldn't win against them and had to

751
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 3: remove the lock. So I don't.

752
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, these parents are terrible. I'm already putting that

753
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 2: out there.

754
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't know how to handle it. I

755
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 3: think it was a little uninformed, perhaps, Yeah.

756
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 2: But it's not even what's funny is that my indicator

757
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: is not even coming from the fact that they're just

758
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: like sort of being like, oh, let your sister do

759
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 2: whatever she wants because of her condition. Yeah, it's the

760
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 2: fact that Ope bought a lock at like eight years

761
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 2: old for their door. Yeah, that's why I installed it,

762
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 2: and the parents had no idea.

763
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 3: That's what I was thinking. I'm like, and it confirms

764
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,839
Speaker 3: in the next sentence, just like she's literally eight years

765
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 3: old and now nine that like, it's just this eight

766
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 3: year old screwing in a lock onto their door.

767
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, I don't know.

768
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 3: Pretty crazy to me.

769
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 2: I don't know how you get don't Yeah?

770
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, independent eight year old. Fast forward a few months.

771
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 3: I had just turned nine and I wanted to go

772
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 3: to a local arcade with all my friends. But of course,

773
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 3: my sister was complaining about how she couldn't choose where

774
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 3: my party was. Thankfully, my parents didn't let her choose.

775
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 3: When we got to the arcade, it was fine until

776
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 3: we went back into the party room. I was horrified.

777
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 3: Apparently my parents left my sister in the room for

778
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 3: a few minutes to go get me and my friends.

779
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 3: When we came back, the cake was all over the

780
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 3: floor and most of the presents were torn open or destroyed.

781
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 3: I was trying to hold back my tears while my

782
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,439
Speaker 3: sister had a big grin on her face. My dad

783
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 3: had to bring her home. However, like all things she did,

784
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 3: she got away with it. My mom was telling me

785
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 3: she can't help it, it wasn't her fault. The only

786
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 3: thing you can do right now is to deal with it.

787
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: I broke down into tears after hearing what she said,

788
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 3: and stormed out of the room. Fast forward a few weeks,

789
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,919
Speaker 3: I had barely been talking to my parents. Every chance

790
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 3: I got, I would avoid them. Thankfully, my parents let

791
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 3: me install the lock back on my door herself as

792
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 3: a nine year old, after Ashley went into my room

793
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,720
Speaker 3: while I was changing. Ever since Ashley got into first grade,

794
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 3: she has constantly been asking for help with her homework,

795
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 3: and by help, I mean playing games while I have

796
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: to do it. My parents are always busy during work,

797
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 3: so they forced me to help her. One day, Ashley's

798
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 3: teacher assigned her a class project. The project was to

799
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 3: make your favorite fast food restaurant from cereal boxes. She

800
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,240
Speaker 3: decided not to do anything until the last day before

801
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: it was due. That was my move in elementary's coming.

802
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 2: That's the story for every Yeah student, correct a student,

803
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 2: Mom and need to go to the store and you

804
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 2: get a poster board.

805
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: My mom was always like, why didn't you tell me

806
00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 3: this earlier?

807
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 2: No, when to do honey roll morrow?

808
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 3: Tomorrow? Can you help me do it? That's the move?

809
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 2: Oh, so you to do it?

810
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 4: No, thanks mommy the best.

811
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 3: Like usual, I had to help her again. I was

812
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 3: panicking because it was like nine o'clock and my bedtime

813
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 3: was ten. I asked her what her favorite fast food

814
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 3: place was. She didn't respond until thirty minutes went by,

815
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 3: and then she said, you choose. I was about to scream.

816
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 3: I chose the easiest one to make, which was McDonald's.

817
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 3: Fifty minutes went by. I finished the project, but what

818
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 3: she did it made me almost one two one alive her.

819
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 3: She decided to throw it across the room and stomp

820
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 3: on it. My parents went to check to see all

821
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 3: the noise, and my sister was on the floor pretending

822
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 3: to cry. Seeing how I broke it and I want

823
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 3: her to fail. I was shocked. My parents sided with

824
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 3: her again even before I got to argue back. I

825
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 3: was grounded for weeks. I felt like I wanted to

826
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 3: unlive myself, but I couldn't do it. Fast forward until

827
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 3: I was seventeen. My sister just turned fourteen and she

828
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 3: decided to bring her friend home. I thought nothing of it.

829
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 3: She has friends over all the time, but this time

830
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 3: was different. I went to the back room for like

831
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 3: five minutes, and when I got out, my room was trashed,

832
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 3: bed sheets all over the place, pillows in every corner,

833
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 3: the lamp knocked over. They even threw my computer on

834
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,839
Speaker 3: the floor. If you were wondering, yes, I still had

835
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 3: the lock, but they picklocked it. Apparently her friend was

836
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 3: good at picking locks. My parents were on vacation. When

837
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 3: I called them to tell them about it, they just

838
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 3: told me that I was lying and to stop trying

839
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 3: to get my sister in trouble all the time. I

840
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 3: decided I needed to move far away.

841
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 2: The parents were on vacation. Uh yeah, yeah, So it's

842
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 2: like there's these these are like the like chronically absentee,

843
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: like nonexistent, doesn't do anything to actually parent the kid's parents.

844
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 3: Oh this is hard to hard to read. I spent

845
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 3: all junior and senior year working hard to get a scholarship.

846
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 3: Fast forward A year later, I had my graduation. My

847
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 3: parents and grandparents were all there except for my sister.

848
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 3: My parents came up with the excuse of how she

849
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 3: was sick and couldn't go, But they used that excuse

850
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 3: so many times that I couldn't even care anymore. Graduation

851
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 3: was really fun. My friend and I hosted an after

852
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 3: party at my house. My sister was nowhere in sight.

853
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 3: My parents said that she was sick but wasn't even

854
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:07,479
Speaker 3: at home, or.

855
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: So I thought, mmmmm a thought.

856
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 3: Probably an hour later, we went to my room to

857
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 3: hang out only to see my sister with her friends

858
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 3: eating all over my bed. I saw crushed up chips

859
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: all over the floor. I had had enough. When my

860
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 3: parents saw this, they were furious. They grounded my sister

861
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 3: for a full month and her friends were never allowed over.

862
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 3: I was glad, but I was more glad to get

863
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 3: away from there. Wow. Okay, finally they're punishing her for something.

864
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 2: Yeah a little late there, yeah.

865
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 3: Fast forward a few months, I said my goodbyes to

866
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 3: my parents and I headed to college out of the country.

867
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 3: My sister was crying when I left, mainly because I

868
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 3: couldn't do her schoolwork for her anymore. She had to

869
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 3: repeat tenth grade again after she failed her finals for

870
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 3: cheating on her phone. My parents were furious about this.

871
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 3: I don't know if she got punished or not, since

872
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 3: it wasn't spoken about much. Fast forward a few weeks.

873
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 3: College is great so far. I had this girl, Mikayla,

874
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 3: who shared it dorm with me and we became really

875
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 3: great friends. We hung out and ate dinner together almost

876
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 3: every night. I majored as an IT specialist, going to

877
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 3: class every day. I sat next to my future a husband, Steven.

878
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: oOoOO is he in Minecraft?

879
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 3: It was almost love at first sight. I was a

880
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 3: bit nervous to ask him out on the first day,

881
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 3: but on the second day I had the courage to

882
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 3: ask him out. Wow, you're working fast girl.

883
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: Second day he.

884
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 3: Said he would love to and he thought I was

885
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 3: pretty cute. Happiness filled my eyes and I hugged him

886
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 3: without thinking. I thought I made a big mistake, but

887
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 3: to my surprise, he was fine with it. Fast forward

888
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 3: three years later, Stephen and I finally graduated from college

889
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 3: and got job offers out of office. After saving money

890
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 3: for a while, we bought a lovely two bed, one

891
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 3: bath house about fifteen minutes from our office. It had

892
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 3: been a while since I checked up on my parents.

893
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 3: I started a FaceTime call with them and we told

894
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 3: each other what had been going on in our lives.

895
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 3: My mom started to mention how Ashley just graduated from

896
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 3: high school and how she would love for me to

897
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 3: come visit again. We didn't mind taking vacation. After we

898
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 3: we got off the plane, I saw my parents waiting

899
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 3: for me, but not Ashley. Apparently Ashley still lives with

900
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 3: them and doesn't have any plans on going to college.

901
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 3: My parents were fine with it and supported her decision.

902
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 3: We all decided to go out for dinner the same night.

903
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: It was going well until Ashley started to flirt with Stephen,

904
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: which made him a bit uncomfortable. I think that's super fair.

905
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 3: Why why your girlfriend's sister is flirting with you? Why

906
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 3: at the first meeting?

907
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 2: Why are we the way that we are?

908
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 3: We don't like that, Ashley, Ashley why. I don't really

909
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 3: remember what he said, but I think he said no

910
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 3: thanks or I'm not interested. And Ashley was a bit embarrassed,

911
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 3: but she had another idea. She decided to scoot her

912
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 3: chair closer to him, which prompted him to push her away,

913
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 3: making him a bit pissed off. She then decided to

914
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 3: lean on him, saying how she is so much better

915
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 3: than I am, and how she is prettier. This got

916
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 3: him so pissed off that he just left the restaurant.

917
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 3: Fast forward eight years, Steve and I are about to

918
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 3: have our wedding. We had low contact with my parents

919
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 3: and sister, but we still invited them. I thought my

920
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 3: sister would have grown up by know. We had our

921
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 3: wedding at this nice hotel. On the wedding day, everything

922
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 3: was looking beautiful. Everyone was there except my sister. My

923
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 3: parents said she was running mate.

924
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 2: God no, no, no, no no no no no no

925
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 2: no no no.

926
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 3: I don't like it. I see you see in the

927
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 3: chat everyone ah ooh. That was until she came in

928
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 3: the door with a full on wedding dress. I was

929
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 3: shocked to see her do that. When I called her

930
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 3: out on it, she just said how she should be

931
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 3: able to wear it, and how it costs so much.

932
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 3: Your wedding dresses typiclarly cost a lot of money, but

933
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 3: you typically don't wear them to someone else's wedding.

934
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 2: Don't you like this dress I got, it's like really

935
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 2: expensive and for weddings. It said it was a wedding dress,

936
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 2: So I decided to wear it to yours.

937
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 3: Right, I went off on her. I told her that

938
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 3: I had sent out a dress code multiple times and

939
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: if she would have read the text I sent this

940
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,720
Speaker 3: wouldn't have happened. She started to cry, and my parents

941
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 3: started to defend her, saying that she could just take

942
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 3: the dress off and it would be fine. I thought

943
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 3: that it would be okay. Fast forward to where I

944
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 3: was walking down the aisle. Ashley was sitting with her

945
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 3: arms crossed. I didn't mind it as Stephen, and I said,

946
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 3: are I dos? My sister jumped up and said, bo,

947
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 3: when are we going to get the cake? Oh my gosh,

948
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 3: what that's crazy. Can you imagine how silent it has

949
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 3: to be in that church or that field wherever they're

950
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 3: getting married, and they're just like, I do, I do, bo,

951
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:33,760
Speaker 3: I won't cook.

952
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm wild. I'm taking I'm taking you to the ocean, Ashley, Ashley,

953
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 2: I'm taking you to the ocean, and you're gonna hang

954
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 2: out with all the used car batteries that I throw

955
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:49,919
Speaker 2: in there.

956
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 3: Everyone in the room was staring at her. My parents,

957
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,399
Speaker 3: who were sitting next to her, looked really embarrassed, and

958
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 3: you know what, I will look really embarrassed if you

959
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 3: do not, go to Spotify, our Heart Radio, or Apple

960
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 3: Podcasts and search Okay story Time to find more episodes

961
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 3: with full stories just like this, exactly, exactly exactly.

962
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 2: It's all. It takes so quick, But there is a little.

963
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 3: Bit more to this story. My parents tried to get

964
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 3: her out of the room when she ran out of

965
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 3: their arms and went right for the cake. No wait,

966
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 3: this is a recreation of the nine year old birthday. Wait,

967
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 3: she's getting all the cake.

968
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:25,879
Speaker 2: Give me that cake.

969
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. The cake was all over the ground

970
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 3: and I saw her just eating its. Security I had

971
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 3: to escort her out like a.

972
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 2: Scene out of The Walking Dead.

973
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's long.

974
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

975
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 3: I was holding back tears as she just ruined my

976
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 3: whole wedding in front of me. After the wedding, I

977
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 3: decided to block Ashley from every site and I posted

978
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 3: about how she ruined my wedding. But I'm starting to

979
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 3: feel guilty. Was blocking her the right thing to do?

980
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 3: And that is the end of the story. Yeah?

981
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 2: Why?

982
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean you could always unblock her. That's not

983
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 3: decided for the rest of your life. So if you

984
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 3: feel guilty like you could still do something about it.

985
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 2: You are not overreacting here with a blocking Yeah.

986
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 3: She's not. She has not been good to you pretty

987
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 3: much your whole life. So do what you gotta do

988
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 3: to get her out of there.

989
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't know you prioritize your own peace exactly.

990
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 2: But that is the end of the story and the

991
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 2: end of this episode. So if you love us, make

992
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 2: sure you subscribe.

993
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.

994
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 2: I found my biological sisters, but I don't want to

995
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 2: meet our biological parents, picking and choosing. I see I

996
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,839
Speaker 2: thirty female, AM a Chinese woman who was adopted from

997
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 2: mainland China when I was a baby and grew up

998
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 2: in the UK. I grew curious about my roots and

999
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 2: if I had any family out there, so I took

1000
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 2: a twenty three and me test. I found four full

1001
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 2: sisters through this test. I am the oldest. My sisters

1002
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 2: are twenty nine to only eight, twenty four and twenty

1003
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,720
Speaker 2: The three middle sisters are in America and the youngest

1004
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 2: is in Germany. We have kept in contact via the

1005
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: Internet and have even met in person twice before the

1006
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 2: VIDs started. By the way, this comes from user challenge

1007
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: Brave seventy twelve and if you want to submit your

1008
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Suburnate.

1009
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 2: So I have two brothers I grew up with who

1010
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 2: are my parents' biological sons, and as far as I'm concerned,

1011
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 2: they and my parents are my true family. But I

1012
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: have grown close to my biological sisters as we understand

1013
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 2: each other a lot. What my parents know of my

1014
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 2: birth story is that I was found in an alleyway

1015
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 2: in a box, A classic story.

1016
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 3: So you were found in an alleyway in a box.

1017
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 2: Wow, that's where Harry Potter was found. That's not true, well,

1018
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 2: not in an alleyway, but it was on the front porch.

1019
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 2: My sisters were found relatively the same way. From what

1020
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 2: they know, though, they were left outside of buildings in

1021
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 2: public areas.

1022
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 3: So I'm a bit more bitter.

1023
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 2: Than they are about how we were abandoned, as I

1024
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 2: was left out of the way where I could have

1025
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 2: been missed. We recently got contacted by a new family

1026
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 2: member found by the test, an eighteen year old full

1027
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 2: brother who lives in France with our biological parents. Apparently

1028
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 2: they moved there later in life. My biological sisters are

1029
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 2: excited by this and eager to meet them. They want

1030
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 2: the five of us to fly out together to meet

1031
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 2: our brother and family. I've told them I won't stop them,

1032
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 2: but I have no interest in meeting the couple who

1033
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:30,320
Speaker 2: clearly kept trying to have a boy and abandoned five

1034
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 2: daughters that we know of, reminding them there could be

1035
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 2: more we don't know about who haven't used twenty three

1036
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 2: and meters. They feel I'm being unreasonable in this and

1037
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: that I should at least go to meet our brother.

1038
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 2: I'm fine meeting him one day, but not with them there,

1039
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 2: and he and I have been exchanging emails for now.

1040
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 2: I know they want the five of us to go

1041
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 2: out as a united front in this and me not

1042
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 2: wanting to go is disheartening for them, but I honestly

1043
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: feel bitter in regard to the whole situation. Comments from

1044
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: Third Truck, I is the charm, not the a hole.

1045
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 2: They want to go, you do not. That's fine on

1046
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: both sides. They have no business pushing you to go

1047
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 2: meet biofamily. Shelluler O seven says, not the a hole.

1048
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 2: This is a very personal trauma for you, and it

1049
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 2: is especially worse for you as the one who is

1050
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 2: the oldest and was the closest to not having a

1051
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,359
Speaker 2: life at all because of their abandonment. I hope you

1052
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 2: and your brother form as strong of a bond as

1053
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 2: you and your sisters have. It isn't his fault. Your

1054
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 2: parents did this, and I hope they all come to

1055
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 2: understand your feelings and stop pushing it. OPI says it

1056
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 2: was a bit tough to work up the ability to

1057
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 2: exchange emails with him, after all, he is the goal

1058
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 2: they were clearly aiming for. That resulted in myself and

1059
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 2: my bio sisters being abandoned. That being said, I reminded myself,

1060
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 2: he's really just a kid and none of this was

1061
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 2: his fault.

1062
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 4: Which is like a healthy mindset. But it's also fair

1063
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 4: to be like, yeah, this is the kid that they

1064
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 4: were waiting for.

1065
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It's a weird situation and you're definitely not

1066
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 2: the a hole for being like, I don't know, I

1067
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 2: don't want to meet them. Am I ruining my siblings experience?

1068
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 2: It's like, you shouldn't be that they gets up to them.

1069
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 3: They can meet the parents if they want. Yeah, you don't, right.

1070
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 2: The baker syst not the ahole. I too and an

1071
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 2: adopted person who was abandoned at birth outside of a

1072
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 2: bodega in the bad part of town. I also took

1073
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 2: a DNA test and ended up meeting my biological family,

1074
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 2: and I regret it so very very much. Meeting my

1075
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 2: siblings and birth parents sickened me so much that I

1076
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 2: feel as though I'll never get my mind back to where.

1077
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 3: It used to be.

1078
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 2: Yesh, well, it sounds like this commentary needs to go

1079
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 2: to some therapy about that. And I had the unfortunate

1080
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 2: pleasure of being filmed for TV meeting them. It sucked

1081
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: finding out that I have an older brother with the

1082
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 2: same birthday as me, only he got to have a

1083
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 2: birthday party and I got left outside in the cold.

1084
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 2: Please don't ever think you're an a hole for not

1085
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 2: wanting to meet your bio parents.

1086
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 3: You're not.

1087
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's a lot worse than not knowing. Oh p,

1088
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 2: He replies, I'm so sorry. The idea of being filmed

1089
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,479
Speaker 2: for that makes me want to throw up. I'm sorry

1090
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 2: you had to put up with that. Agine why dad

1091
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 2: suck finding out your oldest brother had the same birthday

1092
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 2: as you. I was left in the alley in winter.

1093
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 2: I'm not sure my exact birthday, but we have a

1094
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 2: rough estimate and nothing else. If you ever want to

1095
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 2: talk to someone who's similar in this, feel free to

1096
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 2: hit me up toe select six six nine five. Sorry

1097
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 2: to ask this, but these things just make my blood boil.

1098
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 2: Did they at least seem remorseful? Did they understand how

1099
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:28,439
Speaker 2: evil what they did to you was? From what you're saying,

1100
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: I guess not, and I guess you no longer talk

1101
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 2: to them. Opie says, I'm not the one who met

1102
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,720
Speaker 2: their parents. You'd likely get a reply if you replied

1103
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 2: to them. Is a mistake to make on who you

1104
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 2: replied to the comics to the comment we just read,

1105
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 2: not TOPI, No, I think maybe Opie's siblings are in

1106
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:50,319
Speaker 2: the chat, is what that said? No P replied, so okay.

1107
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 2: Basically there was another commentary. Who was the one we

1108
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 2: read about who went on a game show or whatever

1109
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 2: They were talking about their experience, and then another commentary

1110
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 2: was responding to that, and Nope was like that it's

1111
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 2: not me. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, just keep going. Why

1112
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 2: is this in here? To select sixty six ninety five?

1113
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 2: Thank you and I'm so sorry you went through this

1114
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 2: as a baby. I can only imagine the pain. I

1115
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 2: hope you are happy and feel loved and valued by

1116
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 2: your real family. There's an update one month later. After

1117
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 2: some pushing from my bio sisters over getting in contact

1118
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 2: with our bio parents, as while I didn't want to

1119
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 2: fly out to meet them with my sisters, they still

1120
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 2: want to talk to me, I finally consented to having

1121
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,840
Speaker 2: a zoom call with our bio parents as that was

1122
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 2: the most I could handle. I'll be honest, it was

1123
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 2: a shock to the system. I looked so much like

1124
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: our bio mom. It was a little startling. So I

1125
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 2: found out some answers to some important questions. Firstly, why

1126
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,839
Speaker 2: were we abandoned? As many of you can guess, it

1127
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,879
Speaker 2: was due to the one child policy. They wanted a son,

1128
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 2: but there was additional internal pressure to this. My paternal

1129
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 2: grandparents had told them if they kept a daughter, they

1130
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 2: would be cut off and not have a penny of

1131
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 2: the family money. It's why I was abandoned so differently

1132
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 2: from my sisters. It was my paternal grandmother who took

1133
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 2: me outside and abandoned me. My bio parents always assumed

1134
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 2: that I had passed away and how she left me,

1135
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 2: So they took over the abandonment of my sisters, which

1136
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 2: is why they were left in better places.

1137
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 3: That like doesn't make it better.

1138
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 2: Man, I can't.

1139
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 3: That's like, that doesn't make it better at all.

1140
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 2: I can't imagine how ice cold you have to be

1141
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 2: like a child, the ruthless ice cold, not just one.

1142
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 2: It's like the equivalent of like the bird that's like

1143
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 2: in the nest and it just like takes one of

1144
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 2: the bird chicks up and just throws it out.

1145
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 3: Of the nest.

1146
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 2: It's like I'm done with you.

1147
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 4: It's like just it's like that your parents abandoned five

1148
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 4: was it five girls?

1149
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,839
Speaker 2: I think another one? It was five girls and then

1150
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:52,399
Speaker 2: another boy.

1151
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, the boy, but abandoned five girls because they didn't

1152
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:56,720
Speaker 4: want to lose out.

1153
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 3: On the family money. Is just like, oh yeah, that's pretty.

1154
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 2: So it's like, well, at some point you're prioritizing money

1155
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 2: over not being evil. Yeah, so maybe don't be evil?

1156
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1157
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 4: And again, like I understand that there's a lot of

1158
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 4: different like government st control things that were going on,

1159
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 4: and like with the one child policy, but it's to

1160
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 4: do that five times instead of not having another child.

1161
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 2: That is a choice that you made. Were there any

1162
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 2: other children? There was one, a boy who would be

1163
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 2: twenty two right now. Had everything went to plan, they

1164
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 2: had been going to keep him, but apparently something was

1165
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 2: wrong about him. I don't know what, and they didn't

1166
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 2: expand on that, but apparently my paternal grandfather forced them

1167
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 2: to give him.

1168
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 3: Up because he was ashamed.

1169
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 2: Why did they move to France? Gee whiz? I can

1170
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 2: only imagine why someone would want to move out of

1171
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 2: that situation. Yeah. After our youngest brother was born, they

1172
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 2: finally gained financial independence from my paternal grandparents and were

1173
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,879
Speaker 2: able to move. They were the ones that asked their

1174
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 2: son to take the test, hoping to find their other children.

1175
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 2: Where does this lead? Wait? What the ones who abandoned

1176
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 2: all the children then went, Hey, you should take that

1177
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 2: test and find those kids that we abandoned. Hopefully they're

1178
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 2: good now.

1179
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 4: Then find out that Opie's alive, and they're like, oh,

1180
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 4: I thought I thought you died in that Ali crazy,

1181
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:13,720
Speaker 4: You're alive.

1182
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 3: That didn't make any sense, shocking. Where does this leave us?

1183
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,280
Speaker 2: They were so happy to talk to me and kept

1184
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 2: going on about how they now had most of their

1185
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 2: children back and could have it all.

1186
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 3: You can't have it all. You should not be allowed

1187
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,319
Speaker 3: to have it all because.

1188
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 4: You made these choices. You can't have it all. You

1189
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 4: can't just be like terrible and have it all allowed.

1190
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 2: Not really another way to put that, but like, yeah,

1191
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 2: I cut them off there and told them they didn't

1192
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 2: have us back. I expressed sympathy for what they had

1193
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 2: been put through by my paternal grandparents, but pointed out

1194
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 2: they chose money over me and over all of us,

1195
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 2: and how they could have chosen to simply keep me

1196
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,399
Speaker 2: or any of the others and make their own way

1197
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,439
Speaker 2: in life, but they hadn't. I thanked them for the call,

1198
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 2: but told I had a family already and had no

1199
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 2: further interest in speaking with them. That I'd continue to

1200
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:07,800
Speaker 2: be in contact with my bio brother, but this was

1201
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,320
Speaker 2: all they'd get. They tried to beg me to stay

1202
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: on the call, but I left, and I admit I

1203
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 2: had a little bit of a sob afterwards. My adoptive

1204
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 2: brothers ended up taking me out to drink afterwards, and

1205
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 2: the three of us got intoxicated while I vented and

1206
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 2: cried some. But it helped. It worked through things a lot.

1207
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 2: So thanks everyone, I just figured you all deserved an update.

1208
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: We have some comments here. Mom loves Monsters says I

1209
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 2: really hope that the conversation with them gave you some

1210
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:36,279
Speaker 2: kind of closure. Thank you for sharing this update with us.

1211
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 2: Laney twenty says yes, at least she got a few

1212
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 2: questions answered. Seems like it would be better to know

1213
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 2: than to always wonder. Doesn't exactly make it easier, but

1214
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:49,439
Speaker 2: perhaps provides some closure. Robinetta, I really hate the one

1215
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:53,240
Speaker 2: child policy. It sucks for so many people, especially girls,

1216
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:57,319
Speaker 2: because they are usually almost always treated horribly or given

1217
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 2: up and treated worse. I know some families would rather

1218
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 2: leave to another country than have to pick and choose

1219
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 2: a child. If you choose not to be involved with

1220
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: your bio parents, then I feel it's for the best,

1221
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, they literally did

1222
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 2: choose money over you, and what would have happened if

1223
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,000
Speaker 2: you were never found? Me and we one two three

1224
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 2: says and also kept choosing to have children they abandoned

1225
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 2: until they got the right one. They can feel bad

1226
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 2: or they want culture pressure. I sympathize, but they did

1227
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 2: this with all the daughters and one brother who wasn't

1228
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 2: right quote unquote, Robinetta replies, exactly, all because they want

1229
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,959
Speaker 2: the perfect child. When I first watched the documentary about

1230
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 2: the One Child the Rule, my heart broke seeing how

1231
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,760
Speaker 2: the girls they gave up were treated. So many cultures

1232
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,479
Speaker 2: treat girls like they are only good for home care

1233
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 2: and birthing kids. I grew up in a household where

1234
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 2: I was supposed to take care of everyone, despite being

1235
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 2: a child myself. I have a daughter now and I

1236
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 2: refuse to treat her the way I was. And we

1237
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 2: have an update from two years later. Hopefully the sibling

1238
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 2: dynamic isn't being impacted here.

1239
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'm sure these a little bit.

1240
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 4: They also didn't really know each other until recently, like

1241
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 4: they all found each other through the twenty three and me.

1242
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think everyone should just be allowing everyone to

1243
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 2: feel however they decide they feel about the situation.

1244
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 4: Like and again, I mean a lot of people are

1245
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 4: commenting in the chat that, of course we have never

1246
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 4: been through anything like this, and we'll never understand the

1247
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 4: societal pressure or you know, in this case, the one

1248
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:27,320
Speaker 4: child policy and how that affects families and stuff like. Obviously,

1249
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 4: i don't know how that feels, and I'm sure it's

1250
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:30,280
Speaker 4: not wasn't an.

1251
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 3: Easy decision to give up the children.

1252
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,319
Speaker 4: But regardless of that, it does not mean that OP

1253
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 4: owes them a relationship.

1254
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 2: Two years later, Hello everyone, I never expected to return

1255
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 2: to this throwaway, but here I am a little refresher.

1256
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,400
Speaker 2: Myself and my four biological sisters were abandoned due to

1257
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 2: the one child policy and found each other later in life,

1258
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 2: as well as our bioparents and a younger brother. It

1259
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,839
Speaker 2: has come to my attention that my youngest biosister, who

1260
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 2: is twenty two and lives in Germany. Has been in

1261
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 2: regular contact with our Bio parents after the initial meeting,

1262
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,479
Speaker 2: and they offered to quite a bit of comfort after

1263
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 2: her longtime boyfriend cheated on her and that relationship fell apart.

1264
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 2: She has now revealed to us that she plans to

1265
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 2: go to Guangzhou in the near future to meet a

1266
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 2: man who are bio parents wish her to meet, as

1267
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: he is supposedly the son of their friend, and our

1268
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 2: Bio parents are apparently paying for this entire trip for

1269
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, she's about to go get maybe arranged with

1270
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 2: a relationship right now from these people. Are we rocking

1271
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 2: with that? I?

1272
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 3: Yes, she is.

1273
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 2: Look I know, I just said we should let everyone

1274
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 2: feel how they want to feel about the situation. I

1275
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 2: don't know if I feel like you should go get

1276
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 2: set up with their friend in China. I don't know

1277
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 2: if that's the vibe, because they might be friends with

1278
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 2: people who would also be down with abandoning children.

1279
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 3: That would be a little bit skeptical.

1280
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I don't know if you guys are

1281
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 2: the best matchmakers. It's just a well, at least you

1282
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 2: know the guy's probably got money, because they seem to

1283
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 2: prioritize that they better.

1284
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 3: Of money, so they did a lot of work to

1285
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 3: have that money.

1286
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 2: Our sisters are a bit hesitant about this, but no

1287
00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 2: one wants to tell her it's a stupid idea, as

1288
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:02,959
Speaker 2: they feel she's a grown woman and it's up to her. Well,

1289
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 2: you could still tell her it's a dumb idea and

1290
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 2: live with the fact she is a grown woman. I

1291
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,040
Speaker 2: tried to express concern, but she would not hear it.

1292
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 2: Solely on the dreamy idea of meeting a handsome man

1293
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 2: from the country of our birth. I'm worried about her

1294
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 2: and how badly this could go wrong. I also have

1295
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 2: my doubts about the validity of the situation, as something

1296
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 2: seems incredibly off about it. So I reached out to

1297
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 2: her adoptive grandparents to let them know her plans and

1298
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 2: my concerns about this whole situation. They were horrified by this,

1299
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 2: as they had no idea, and their immediate concern was

1300
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 2: that this was a potentially dangerous situation, and they assured

1301
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 2: me they would handle this.

1302
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it really could be dangerous.

1303
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 2: I mean you're essentially being shuttled off to a completely

1304
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 2: different place to meet a guy who's definitely literally being

1305
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 2: introduced to you as like a product, where it's like, oh,

1306
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 2: this is our daughter. You could marry this and then

1307
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 2: it would be yours and you can have her, and

1308
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 2: then she can have some of your money, and then

1309
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 2: you'd be your thing. Does she realize that's what she's

1310
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 2: essentially signing up, where she's commodifying herself into like a

1311
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 2: bride object.

1312
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 4: I don't think the problem here is necessarily arranged marriage,

1313
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 4: because I think that, you know, our arranged marriage is

1314
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 4: part of a lot of different cultures. But I think

1315
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 4: the issue here is that it doesn't feel like she

1316
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 4: is thinking this through at all, Like I don't know

1317
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 4: if I because I think that in a lot of

1318
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 4: arranged marriages where they're successful, you have family members that

1319
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 4: you trust. She doesn't know these people. The only thing

1320
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 4: that she knows about them is that they abandoned her.

1321
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 4: So I would not trust these people to find me

1322
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 4: a match that would.

1323
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 3: Work for me. Yeah, we already know what she wants. Money.

1324
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a hot Chinese rich man. Yeah, my

1325
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 2: hot rich Chinese man, and that's it is who I

1326
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 2: meant to be with. She has since reached out demanding

1327
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 2: to know why I got in contact with her. Grandparents,

1328
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 2: as it was not my place, and she can make

1329
00:59:57,040 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 2: these decisions for herself. I told her that she may

1330
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 2: want to wear rose tinted glasses when it comes to

1331
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 2: our biological parents, but I'm not gonna let her fly

1332
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 2: across the world to a likely dangerous situation to meet

1333
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 2: a man she's never even spoken to before, which she

1334
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 2: told me if he was a creep, she'd at least

1335
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 2: get a free.

1336
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 3: Holiday out of it.

1337
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: Probably the wrong perspective for that, but you know what

1338
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 2: the right perspective is. What perspective that we have full

1339
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: episodes with stories like this available for your listening pleasure

1340
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 2: on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen. Just type

1341
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 2: in okay story time with your little fingers and now

1342
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 2: you've got the archive. Boot it up. I believe it's

1343
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 2: fifty four days now. Fifty four days were the stories? Yummy, yummy, yummy. Anyway,

1344
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 2: there's a little bit more story here. I don't know

1345
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 2: if you can do anything to really stop this person.

1346
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 2: You can run interference, but that.

1347
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 3: You've done the things that you can do.

1348
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:55,320
Speaker 4: You contacted her family, you said, hey, this is happening,

1349
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 4: just thought you should know. But at that point after that,

1350
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 4: there's really not much else you can do, as you

1351
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 4: guys only have recently become close or I don't even

1352
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 4: know if you're close, but you've only recently come into

1353
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 4: contact with each other.

1354
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1355
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 2: We ended up arguing quite a bit over this, with

1356
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 2: some heated words being exchanged. Our bio sisters have told

1357
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 2: me I shouldn't have went behind her back like that,

1358
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 2: and if it was a mistake, she needed to learn

1359
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 2: from it herself. But I worry she may not have

1360
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 2: had the chance to learn from it if it was

1361
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 2: a mistake.

1362
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, some mistakes are really dangerous and you can't really

1363
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 4: come back from them.

1364
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:32,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes you cannot do some mistakes. Sometimes you got

1365
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,280
Speaker 2: to learn from other people's mistakes. Yeah, like the mistakes

1366
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 2: made in the movie Taken. I'll give you one guess

1367
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 2: what happens in that movie. Someone's taken, someone gets taken.

1368
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 4: Interesting, But I don't have any guesses about the end

1369
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 4: of the story, so it's find out, okay.

1370
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, my adoptive brothers have expressed relief I'm not that

1371
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:53,080
Speaker 2: much of an idiot, or else they'd have locked me

1372
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 2: in my room until that idea left my head. I

1373
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 2: do think they needed her plans for her own safety

1374
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 2: if nothing else. But maybe I'm an and could have

1375
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 2: handled it better. Was I wrong to go behind her

1376
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 2: back like this? Somebody needed to know. She was basically

1377
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: being like, yeah, I don't know. If he's a creep,

1378
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 2: I'll get a free vacation. It's like, ooh, you might

1379
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:11,600
Speaker 2: get a permanent vacation.

1380
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 3: There's so many.

1381
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 4: Things that can happy again, Yeah, there are so many

1382
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 4: dangerous things that can happen when you're abroad with people

1383
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 4: that you don't know. Very sad story. Wow, but OPI

1384
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:22,920
Speaker 4: seems like she's in a much better place with much

1385
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 4: better people. At least there's that. That's the end of

1386
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 4: that story.

1387
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. Bring it back

1388
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsored.

1389
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 4: My father made a new family, but they disregard my needs.

1390
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 3: I need y'all to regard me please.

1391
01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:43,439
Speaker 4: My I thirty nine female, lost my mom fourteen years

1392
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,800
Speaker 4: ago to cancer and my dad seventy five male, were

1393
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 4: married three years later to Nancy, seventy one female. They

1394
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 4: met online and married nine months after they met. During

1395
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 4: the time they were dating, I was never allowed to

1396
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 4: meet her family, even though they only lived thirty minutes away.

1397
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 4: Normally I'd be like nine months, that's so quick. But

1398
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 4: I feel like when you're seventy five, you're like, let's

1399
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 4: just get married.

1400
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it might as well speed run.

1401
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Queen Layla night Court

1402
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:12,720
Speaker 4: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

1403
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 4: to our slash Okay storytime separate it. So one Saturday morning,

1404
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,959
Speaker 4: I was in bed sleeping late after a hard week

1405
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:22,080
Speaker 4: at work, and Dad busted into my room around eleven,

1406
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 4: saying I had to get up because Nancy was coming over.

1407
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:28,440
Speaker 4: I did, and they were both quiet and seemed nervous.

1408
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:31,920
Speaker 4: They had gotten some of my favorite restaurant takeout for lunch.

1409
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,760
Speaker 4: Nancy went to the bathroom after lunch, and Dad brought

1410
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 4: out chocolate cake. I realized what they were going to

1411
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 4: tell me, as Dad had been nervous about telling me

1412
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 4: when he had proposed to someone else the year before

1413
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 4: that fell through for several reasons, and Nancy was his rebound,

1414
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,520
Speaker 4: and that they were trying to bribe me with food

1415
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 4: like I was a toddler. I was upset because that

1416
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 4: should have been a conversation between me and my dad,

1417
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 4: only especially because I still lived with him, although I

1418
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 4: had been saving money to move out. It probably wasn't

1419
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 4: the most mature move, but I grabbed my keys in

1420
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 4: purse and left the house before Nancy came out of

1421
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 4: the bathroom. When I came back hours later, it was

1422
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 4: to a piece of chocolate cake on the counter and

1423
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:10,680
Speaker 4: a note that they were getting married in a month

1424
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 4: and I had a month to move out. In a

1425
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,880
Speaker 4: petty move, I refused to touch that piece of cake.

1426
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,080
Speaker 4: They were moving to a house my dad bought for

1427
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 4: her with money he made from selling my mom's child

1428
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 4: at home, which he did without telling me because he

1429
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 4: knew I would be upset, so he denied me the

1430
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,920
Speaker 4: chance to be on the property one last time for closure.

1431
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 4: Because my dad had made comments to me less than

1432
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:33,000
Speaker 4: six months after my mom passed away about different women

1433
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 4: at church, he knew that he didn't want a date.

1434
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 4: It felt like he never grieved her. I had a

1435
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:40,200
Speaker 4: really hard time with this and acted out some. I

1436
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 4: did go to the wedding and Nancy's friend came up

1437
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 4: to me and asked what she had ever done to

1438
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:46,560
Speaker 4: me to treat me so terribly. I told her it

1439
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 4: wasn't any of her business. My friend, Ivy, came with me,

1440
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 4: and her job was to keep me from becoming a

1441
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 4: viral video. I was behaving for her sake and so

1442
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 4: I would still have two functional arms. After it was over,

1443
01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:59,120
Speaker 4: we stayed and ate a piece of cake, which was

1444
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 4: the nastiest tasting wedding cake both Ivy and I had

1445
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,520
Speaker 4: ever had, and left early. About a year later, I

1446
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 4: wrote my dad and Nancy a letter apologizing for my

1447
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,840
Speaker 4: part of this, but I received no apology from them

1448
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 4: for how they hurt me. Well, we were at a

1449
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 4: different place in our lives, as if that made up

1450
01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 4: for how they had hurt me. Nancy would always put

1451
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:18,920
Speaker 4: her family before my side of the family, and she

1452
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:21,280
Speaker 4: seemed to want to drive a wedge between my siblings

1453
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,320
Speaker 4: and me and our father. I also tried reaching out

1454
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:27,200
Speaker 4: to my step siblings during the early years of their marriage.

1455
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 4: I wanted to build a better relationship, but they weren't interested.

1456
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:33,440
Speaker 4: That was hard, but I can't make people like me.

1457
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 4: The only family that lives close to me is the

1458
01:05:36,080 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 4: toxic half of my mom's family, whom I am no

1459
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 4: contact with. My siblings lived six and twenty two hour

1460
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:46,560
Speaker 4: drives away from me. Nancy's family was the only family

1461
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 4: I had close by, and I felt very alone every

1462
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:52,400
Speaker 4: time I was with them for family gatherings. Fast forward

1463
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,840
Speaker 4: to twenty twenty one. I had been diagnosed with a

1464
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,960
Speaker 4: number of different health issues since they married, and I

1465
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 4: had to change how I ate because of that. I

1466
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 4: also did an elimination diet and found that I had

1467
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:06,960
Speaker 4: a mild dairy allergy milk, chocolate, and cheese. I had

1468
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 4: to go dairy free to stop the nausea, stomach aches,

1469
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 4: and other gi problem.

1470
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 2: Sorry it's not funny, but it's just the way that

1471
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 2: was written makes it sound like it's like irip milk

1472
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 2: chocolate and cheese, eat like a charcouterie board with just

1473
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,680
Speaker 2: like milk chocolate candies and like swishy.

1474
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:25,959
Speaker 3: That good opie's entire diet. Yeah, that sounds so good.

1475
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 4: My dad and stepmom didn't make me a dairy free

1476
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:31,160
Speaker 4: cake for my birthday that year. It was laxtose free

1477
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:35,160
Speaker 4: and it's still upset my stomach. Wait, it was lactose free,

1478
01:06:35,240 --> 01:06:37,880
Speaker 4: so maybe they just kind of misunderstood, like it wasn't

1479
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 4: dairy free, but it was lactose free, and so they

1480
01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 4: thought that would be fine. I was frustrated with them

1481
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,240
Speaker 4: because as I had slowly changed what I ate to

1482
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:47,640
Speaker 4: stay healthy and prevent medical problems. They would not accommodate

1483
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:50,080
Speaker 4: my needs at family gatherings, but they would if I

1484
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:50,920
Speaker 4: came to their house to.

1485
01:06:50,880 --> 01:06:54,160
Speaker 3: Have dinner with them. But they literally did. They tried.

1486
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:56,640
Speaker 4: I feel like they just made a mistake maybe, but

1487
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 4: also I don't know. At Christmas, I came into a

1488
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:01,920
Speaker 4: family gathering where the menu was supposed to be spaghetti

1489
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 4: and was changed last minute to pizza. Nothing they were

1490
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,479
Speaker 4: serving was safe for me to eat. They did offer

1491
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:09,840
Speaker 4: to make me a sandwich, but I declined because I

1492
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,600
Speaker 4: was upset and had lost my appetite.

1493
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:13,880
Speaker 2: Okay, so they offered to fix the problem, and then

1494
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,560
Speaker 2: you said no because I want to be upset. Sorry,

1495
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:20,240
Speaker 2: I had to translate that for you. Yeah, not saying

1496
01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:22,680
Speaker 2: that they're fine, not saying that they have not, you know,

1497
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:23,760
Speaker 2: been annoying, but.

1498
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 4: Annoying, and they've been rude, but like they it feels

1499
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 4: like you were being more childish than your age. I

1500
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:33,880
Speaker 4: left shortly thereafter because Nancy's grandkids were screaming and gave

1501
01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 4: me a migraine. In fall of twenty twenty two, I

1502
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 4: got a text from my dad apologizing for some perceived slight.

1503
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:42,320
Speaker 4: My therapist was encouraging me to talk to my dad

1504
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:44,760
Speaker 4: about how I felt. Yeah, because I don't think you've

1505
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 4: done that.

1506
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,680
Speaker 2: Give that therapist a raise in retrospect.

1507
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:49,920
Speaker 4: This might have been a conversation better had in person,

1508
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 4: but I think it would also hurt worse when he

1509
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 4: blew me off. I sent him a text saying that

1510
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:56,280
Speaker 4: this didn't bother me, but I was really hurt that

1511
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:59,600
Speaker 4: they would not accommodate my dietary needs. A family gatherings

1512
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:02,000
Speaker 4: and at Christmas, I was the only one who didn't

1513
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:06,040
Speaker 4: have presents to open because they allegedly didn't exchange gifts

1514
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:06,680
Speaker 4: for adults.

1515
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,960
Speaker 2: Thirty, you're not getting Christmas presents like that at the

1516
01:08:10,040 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 2: Christmas party for the kids. You're not. Also said you

1517
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:16,360
Speaker 2: lied at the very beginning. You lied. You said this

1518
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:18,040
Speaker 2: didn't really bother me, it's bothering you.

1519
01:08:18,040 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 3: You're lying.

1520
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 4: They said that's what dirty Santa was for. Although I

1521
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 4: usually ended up with stuff I didn't like, every other

1522
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,760
Speaker 4: adult had at least one gift, even though they were

1523
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:28,720
Speaker 4: supposedly just doing gifts for the kids on Christmas.

1524
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:32,600
Speaker 2: Night, but thirty buy yourself your own Christmas presence you're thirty.

1525
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:34,400
Speaker 4: Well, okay, no, I think thirty year old should get

1526
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:37,200
Speaker 4: Christmas gifts. I disagree with that. I also explained that

1527
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:39,360
Speaker 4: not every dish had to be dairy free, but I

1528
01:08:39,479 --> 01:08:42,080
Speaker 4: just wanted enough for an actual meal. I was raised

1529
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:44,800
Speaker 4: in a tradition of hospitality, where if you have people

1530
01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 4: over to your house, you accommodate their needs within reason.

1531
01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:50,000
Speaker 4: It does seem, you know, okay, I will say.

1532
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 2: Oh, he's being a professional victim right now.

1533
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:53,559
Speaker 3: Really quickly. I think it is.

1534
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:55,639
Speaker 4: It can be annoying if like you're not getting gifts

1535
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:56,880
Speaker 4: and everyone else is getting gifts.

1536
01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:57,519
Speaker 3: I will give you that.

1537
01:08:57,600 --> 01:09:00,759
Speaker 4: I think it's annoying if you're not, like there's literally

1538
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,840
Speaker 4: never any dairy free options, even though they know about

1539
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:05,760
Speaker 4: your thing. But I don't think it's fair to say

1540
01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:08,680
Speaker 4: that they're not trying to accommodate because they offered to

1541
01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:09,439
Speaker 4: make you food.

1542
01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 3: Offered to make you food.

1543
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,800
Speaker 2: By the way, they do do an adult gift exchange,

1544
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:14,560
Speaker 2: so you do could have gotten a president. It's like

1545
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:17,080
Speaker 2: dirty Sannah literally and it's like, I don't.

1546
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,920
Speaker 4: Know, Yeah, I think the fact that I will say

1547
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:21,080
Speaker 4: it is a little bit sus that OP didn't get

1548
01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:23,800
Speaker 4: any gifts when other the people got like one gift.

1549
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:26,479
Speaker 4: I think, so that's where I'm like, uh, seems like

1550
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:27,719
Speaker 4: that's a little weird.

1551
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:29,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't know if you, as the.

1552
01:09:29,280 --> 01:09:31,960
Speaker 4: Host, are buying hot dogs and hamburgers for everyone, neither

1553
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 4: of which I can eat. Is it really that hard

1554
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:36,000
Speaker 4: to buy a piece of chicken and throw it on

1555
01:09:36,040 --> 01:09:38,880
Speaker 4: the grill with some salt and pepper. Apparently so, because

1556
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:40,559
Speaker 4: I would have to bring food for me and also

1557
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:44,000
Speaker 4: something to contribute to their meal. Anyways, I've never heard

1558
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:46,320
Speaker 4: back from my dad for three days, and then it

1559
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 4: was a Happy Friday and hours for a week. I

1560
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,639
Speaker 4: told them right there that I would not be coming

1561
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:53,599
Speaker 4: for Thanksgiving. I guess they didn't believe me, because Nancy

1562
01:09:53,640 --> 01:09:55,960
Speaker 4: texted me the week of Thanksgiving about the dinner. I

1563
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:58,680
Speaker 4: explain what had happened and why wouldn't be there. I

1564
01:09:58,720 --> 01:10:01,600
Speaker 4: also let her know that we could a conversation about Christmas.

1565
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 4: This is her response to me, verbatim. I am not

1566
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,840
Speaker 4: ready to have this conversation with you. My concern and

1567
01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:12,519
Speaker 4: disappointment is your choice not to spend Thanksgiving with your dad. Instead,

1568
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,120
Speaker 4: you dump this crap on him about food and gifts.

1569
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:17,479
Speaker 4: I would eat crap or starve to be able to

1570
01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 4: be with my dad on Thanksgiving. One day, you could

1571
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:23,880
Speaker 4: regret this decision. Your dad won't be around forever. I

1572
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:27,280
Speaker 4: should mention at this point that Nancy is a Christian counselor. Yes,

1573
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:30,280
Speaker 4: you read that right. She's a counselor. A counselor just

1574
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:31,880
Speaker 4: referred to my feelings as crap.

1575
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, buddy, that's called cold water. Sometimes you gotta

1576
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:39,200
Speaker 2: have it because she's not wrong. Yeah, dad could drop

1577
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 2: dead tomorrow, dude.

1578
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:42,439
Speaker 4: I think she has her own control issues because her

1579
01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:44,880
Speaker 4: ex cheated on her with their daughter in law's sister.

1580
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 2: Woof.

1581
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:48,559
Speaker 4: She told my best friend that she rules her family

1582
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 4: not long after they got married.

1583
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means, we keep reading.

1584
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:55,400
Speaker 4: That is why I think the exclusion all these years

1585
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:58,040
Speaker 4: has been intentional. I am not close to my step

1586
01:10:58,120 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 4: siblings in all but one basically ignit for me. The

1587
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:03,320
Speaker 4: one who does talk to me is kind, but I

1588
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 4: think they are also people pleasers, so they go along

1589
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:09,840
Speaker 4: with what Nancy says. Anyways, back to Thanksgiving. The next day,

1590
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,960
Speaker 4: I got bombarded with text from my stepsister's husband. He

1591
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,519
Speaker 4: was very pushy about my coming to Thanksgiving, but I

1592
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:18,400
Speaker 4: held my ground. My mom's birthday was the day before

1593
01:11:18,479 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 4: Thanksgiving that year, so I went to a hockey game

1594
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,880
Speaker 4: that night, got home very late, and slept late the

1595
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 4: next morning before going to Thanksgiving dinner with a friend.

1596
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:28,640
Speaker 4: Nancy also hates hockey, saying that it teaches kids to

1597
01:11:28,680 --> 01:11:32,920
Speaker 4: be and that violence never solves anything. Nancy loves to

1598
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:34,760
Speaker 4: put down what I like and will say lots of

1599
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 4: things like that.

1600
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:36,959
Speaker 3: When I liked the Hunk.

1601
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:39,280
Speaker 2: Nancy will say lots of things like this is never

1602
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:41,120
Speaker 2: the answer that monster.

1603
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:43,800
Speaker 4: Well, she says she hates hockey because it teaches kids

1604
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:44,360
Speaker 4: to be violent.

1605
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:46,920
Speaker 3: That's little silly. Yeah, that is a little extra.

1606
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 4: When I liked the Hunger Games books and was excited

1607
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,360
Speaker 4: about seeing the movies in theaters, she would say that

1608
01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,400
Speaker 4: it's glorified violence and taught kids to become school shooters

1609
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,679
Speaker 4: were violent. Okay, then girl doesn't know the Hunger Games

1610
01:11:57,760 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 4: because the whole point is that is really anti You're

1611
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:02,120
Speaker 4: not getting the point there.

1612
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:02,800
Speaker 3: Anyways.

1613
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:04,799
Speaker 4: It was good to go to the hockey game because

1614
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:07,400
Speaker 4: I had missed going to games. It honored my mom,

1615
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:09,599
Speaker 4: as we went to a lot of hockey games when

1616
01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:12,240
Speaker 4: we had a local hockey team, and it gave a

1617
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:15,840
Speaker 4: certain fighter finger to Nancy. Nancy and her family were

1618
01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:18,559
Speaker 4: nice to me through my birthday and Christmas that year. Okay,

1619
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:20,800
Speaker 4: then Nancy started yelling at me on a trip to

1620
01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:21,840
Speaker 4: see my brother over in ear.

1621
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:25,360
Speaker 2: Ear right, because you're probably like driving your father insane.

1622
01:12:25,400 --> 01:12:27,639
Speaker 4: My sister in law was sitting with me when it happened,

1623
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:30,200
Speaker 4: and I think she finally realized that everything I told

1624
01:12:30,240 --> 01:12:33,360
Speaker 4: her over the years about how I felt about Nancy

1625
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:37,519
Speaker 4: was legitimate. My family can't celebrate Christmas on Christmas because

1626
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:41,640
Speaker 4: Nancy's family does that, and God forbid they are inconvenienced.

1627
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 4: We're always relegated to having our Christmas close to New

1628
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,720
Speaker 4: Year's and Nancy always seems to find a way to

1629
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:50,880
Speaker 4: ruin it. Anyways, Dad defended Nancy's behavior and was dismissive

1630
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:53,439
Speaker 4: of my complaints. He's always like this, so I don't

1631
01:12:53,479 --> 01:12:55,760
Speaker 4: know why it still hurts so much. When my mom

1632
01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,280
Speaker 4: was mean to me during her treatment, he would defend her,

1633
01:12:58,600 --> 01:13:01,360
Speaker 4: saying that she was going through the chain of life. Yes,

1634
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:04,759
Speaker 4: he used menopause as an excuse for her behavior.

1635
01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:07,759
Speaker 2: There's absolutely no way that Opie is now going back

1636
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:10,360
Speaker 2: and being like my mom was mean to me while

1637
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:13,559
Speaker 2: she was going through There's no way, right, is that

1638
01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 2: what just happened?

1639
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:18,000
Speaker 4: Wait and then but that I'm gonna read this next sentence. First, Yes,

1640
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:20,959
Speaker 4: he used menopause and as an excuse for her behavior,

1641
01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:23,600
Speaker 4: but that doesn't excuse how awful mom was to me.

1642
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:24,120
Speaker 3: In the end.

1643
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:29,720
Speaker 4: I shouldn't be someone's emotional one two bag. Really pause, Opie, No,

1644
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:32,439
Speaker 4: you shouldn't be. To be clear, you should not be

1645
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:33,920
Speaker 4: someone's emotional one.

1646
01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:34,519
Speaker 3: Two one bag.

1647
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 4: But I think it's also really important to remember that

1648
01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:41,920
Speaker 4: when people are going through cancer, it messes with your brain. One,

1649
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:45,280
Speaker 4: it's terrifying because you're going through the process of like

1650
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:48,040
Speaker 4: actively passing away when you know that it's happening and

1651
01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:50,040
Speaker 4: you know that there's nothing that you can do. And

1652
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:53,599
Speaker 4: also it's literally changing your brain. So I think it's

1653
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:56,040
Speaker 4: a little bit fair that your dad was defending your mom.

1654
01:13:56,160 --> 01:13:58,080
Speaker 2: Can we maybe point to something your mom was going

1655
01:13:58,120 --> 01:14:00,080
Speaker 2: through that could have made her maybe a little emotion

1656
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:02,800
Speaker 2: charged her unstable, maybe the thing she was in the

1657
01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:03,519
Speaker 2: hospital for.

1658
01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:06,559
Speaker 3: Anyway, his most important relationship in life is that of

1659
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:10,000
Speaker 3: his wife, and he will defend whoever is in that position,

1660
01:14:10,640 --> 01:14:13,040
Speaker 3: whether it is my Mom or Nancy, even when they're

1661
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:13,439
Speaker 3: hurting me.

1662
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 2: This is actually the first time where it's like professional

1663
01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:20,519
Speaker 2: victim has entered the story, like this is a professional victim.

1664
01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:23,400
Speaker 4: The following year, Thanksgiving was the last straw. I regretted

1665
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:25,439
Speaker 4: saying yes to going as soon as I agreed to it,

1666
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:27,519
Speaker 4: but they said they would try to work on making

1667
01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:30,759
Speaker 4: sure I had what I needed for my dietary restrictions okay,

1668
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,960
Speaker 4: which Nancy keeps getting confused about. She likes to say

1669
01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:36,599
Speaker 4: I'm gluten free when it's dairy free, and she also

1670
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,080
Speaker 4: paints it as a fad diet that I'm doing. She

1671
01:14:39,160 --> 01:14:41,080
Speaker 4: does a new diet every other month, so that's rich

1672
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:41,680
Speaker 4: coming from her.

1673
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:44,800
Speaker 3: She's seventy, which is yeah, like a whole comment. I think,

1674
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:47,280
Speaker 3: I mean, like one probably older than that. She's older.

1675
01:14:47,360 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 4: Thanksgiving that year was my mom's birthday, and I was

1676
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:52,720
Speaker 4: already having a tough time. I get there and I'm

1677
01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:54,920
Speaker 4: told that I won't be seated with my dad. For

1678
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:58,040
Speaker 4: the first time ever, they have assigned seats. My seat

1679
01:14:58,120 --> 01:15:00,000
Speaker 4: is in a different room for my dad, and I'm

1680
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:02,840
Speaker 4: with my stepsisters in laws. They're nice people, but we

1681
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:05,719
Speaker 4: have nothing in common. They didn't speak to me the

1682
01:15:05,880 --> 01:15:08,960
Speaker 4: whole meal between that and my mom's birthday and them

1683
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:10,920
Speaker 4: not making all of the few dishes I asked for

1684
01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:11,679
Speaker 4: dairy free.

1685
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:13,920
Speaker 3: I was so close to losing it.

1686
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:16,280
Speaker 4: Which I think OP is right for being upset when

1687
01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:19,640
Speaker 4: they've communicated that they need some dairy free options and

1688
01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:21,400
Speaker 4: were told that there would be some. I think this

1689
01:15:21,439 --> 01:15:24,160
Speaker 4: is fair. Yeah, I'm trying to the few.

1690
01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:28,040
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no, no. W's for Op

1691
01:15:28,200 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 2: in this story. Babe, we're thirty nine, we know we're

1692
01:15:31,160 --> 01:15:34,240
Speaker 2: allergic to dairy. We got to start taking accountability. You

1693
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:35,880
Speaker 2: want to make sure that you have food to eat

1694
01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:39,200
Speaker 2: at the place where you've been repeatedly having issues with

1695
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:41,920
Speaker 2: people not understanding what you can and can't eat, time

1696
01:15:41,960 --> 01:15:43,680
Speaker 2: to bring your own stuff. It's not being mad at

1697
01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,040
Speaker 2: other people, I think in.

1698
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:47,519
Speaker 4: This case because they had the conversation, But I think

1699
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:50,120
Speaker 4: going forward, I'd be like, well, they don't care about

1700
01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:52,600
Speaker 4: my dietaria struction so old.

1701
01:15:52,400 --> 01:15:53,440
Speaker 2: They're in their seventies.

1702
01:15:53,439 --> 01:15:56,200
Speaker 4: It could literally just be like I just it's I

1703
01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:58,080
Speaker 4: think there is a little bit of leave way and

1704
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:00,600
Speaker 4: call give but not. I left and went for a

1705
01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:03,599
Speaker 4: walk in the park behind my stepsister's house and watched

1706
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:07,080
Speaker 4: the squirrels for about forty five minutes. When I came back,

1707
01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:10,320
Speaker 4: everyone but my dad, Nancy, and my stepsister's family were gone.

1708
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:12,599
Speaker 4: I sat down with my dad and talked. I told

1709
01:16:12,680 --> 01:16:14,400
Speaker 4: him that today I had been a rough day, and

1710
01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:16,720
Speaker 4: he changed the subject. I also wasn't going to be

1711
01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 4: able to see my brother that year.

1712
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:18,680
Speaker 2: For Christmas.

1713
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:20,960
Speaker 4: We had been renting a house somewhere in the middle

1714
01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:23,639
Speaker 4: of the drive between his house and ours to celebrate

1715
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:26,720
Speaker 4: our Christmas. I only ad Thursday to Sunday available, but

1716
01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:30,000
Speaker 4: Nancy made reservations for Friday to Monday without talking to me.

1717
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:32,559
Speaker 4: I couldn't go because I would have had to drive.

1718
01:16:33,080 --> 01:16:36,200
Speaker 4: I also couldn't drive that far on my own because

1719
01:16:36,200 --> 01:16:39,280
Speaker 4: of migrains and other health issues. As I sat there

1720
01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:42,120
Speaker 4: talking with my dad, I overheard that the reason Nancy

1721
01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 4: had made the reservation starting on Friday was because her

1722
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:47,880
Speaker 4: niece was coming in from out of state. Gina's mom

1723
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:51,759
Speaker 4: is Nancy's sister, and she passed away unexpectedly when Gina

1724
01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:55,040
Speaker 4: was little. They treat Gina like royalty, and even though

1725
01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:57,160
Speaker 4: they could afford to go see her whenever they want,

1726
01:16:57,520 --> 01:16:59,759
Speaker 4: and I cannot afford to go see my brother unless

1727
01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:02,040
Speaker 4: I go with my dad. She had to spend one

1728
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:04,640
Speaker 4: extra day with Gina and deny me the opportunity to

1729
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:08,000
Speaker 4: see my brother for Christmas. Another example of our side

1730
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,479
Speaker 4: of the family getting the short stick. I left and

1731
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:12,840
Speaker 4: went home and watched movies that Mom and I used

1732
01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:16,559
Speaker 4: to watch and ate pumpkin pie. Because Nancy's weirdo family

1733
01:17:16,560 --> 01:17:19,280
Speaker 4: won't eat pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. That's messed up. Actually,

1734
01:17:19,439 --> 01:17:21,400
Speaker 4: I agree they are weird. Some people just don't like

1735
01:17:21,400 --> 01:17:25,240
Speaker 4: pumpkin that's crazy. Pie is the best dessert ever.

1736
01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:29,760
Speaker 2: Yes, that is actually the craziest thing that you could

1737
01:17:29,760 --> 01:17:30,080
Speaker 2: have said.

1738
01:17:30,080 --> 01:17:33,720
Speaker 3: It's true ever my favorite dessert. You can maybe argue the.

1739
01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:36,960
Speaker 2: Best fite all pie based desert favorite.

1740
01:17:37,240 --> 01:17:40,240
Speaker 3: As soon as you move it out of that can dessert?

1741
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:41,240
Speaker 2: Man, stop lying.

1742
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:42,160
Speaker 3: No, I'm not lying.

1743
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:43,960
Speaker 2: I'm not even lying.

1744
01:17:45,200 --> 01:17:47,439
Speaker 4: When I was three years old, they found me in

1745
01:17:47,479 --> 01:17:49,320
Speaker 4: a pumpkin pet maybe that was for three or four.

1746
01:17:49,479 --> 01:17:52,600
Speaker 4: My aunt was like, oh, like, there's just dessert and

1747
01:17:52,600 --> 01:17:54,639
Speaker 4: I was like, what's that And she's like, pumpkin pie,

1748
01:17:54,680 --> 01:17:56,360
Speaker 4: but you're not gonna like it, like you don't want it,

1749
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:57,680
Speaker 4: And I was like, no, I want it.

1750
01:17:57,720 --> 01:17:59,400
Speaker 3: You're like all I bet and she's like, okay, like

1751
01:17:59,439 --> 01:18:01,120
Speaker 3: you're not gonna lie. I had it. I was like,

1752
01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:02,680
Speaker 3: this is amazing.

1753
01:18:03,520 --> 01:18:07,080
Speaker 4: More and then one time my other arm though, I

1754
01:18:07,200 --> 01:18:09,360
Speaker 4: was like this is amazing. The other time, another aunt

1755
01:18:09,439 --> 01:18:11,439
Speaker 4: babysat for me, and she took Sam and I to

1756
01:18:11,439 --> 01:18:13,080
Speaker 4: a grocery store and she said, you guys can pick

1757
01:18:13,080 --> 01:18:15,400
Speaker 4: out one thing. Sam picked out a big bag of chips.

1758
01:18:15,439 --> 01:18:18,679
Speaker 4: I picked out a whole pumpkin pie. I love funking pie.

1759
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:24,360
Speaker 3: Oh my god, she loves my god like it's not

1760
01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:24,840
Speaker 3: a lie.

1761
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:27,240
Speaker 2: I only like pumpkin pie that one time a year,

1762
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:29,559
Speaker 2: and only a little bit. I'll eat one.

1763
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:31,800
Speaker 4: I think punkin pie is so good because I only

1764
01:18:31,840 --> 01:18:33,040
Speaker 4: have it one time of year.

1765
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,200
Speaker 3: That's why you do.

1766
01:18:35,320 --> 01:18:37,400
Speaker 2: It's the best dessert when you have it one time.

1767
01:18:37,560 --> 01:18:38,320
Speaker 3: It's so good.

1768
01:18:38,920 --> 01:18:41,040
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree with you. We have to have a

1769
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:43,960
Speaker 2: conversation about this later, because what's going on.

1770
01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:47,000
Speaker 4: I have always had to make it for myself because

1771
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:48,200
Speaker 4: no one but Dad would eat it.

1772
01:18:48,479 --> 01:18:51,280
Speaker 3: Why would you eat it? Girl? Just save it? Yeah.

1773
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:53,840
Speaker 2: See, look now she's trying to be a victim about

1774
01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:55,880
Speaker 2: having more pumpkin pie to eat.

1775
01:18:56,040 --> 01:18:57,559
Speaker 3: Wait, there's a really funny comment.

1776
01:18:57,760 --> 01:18:59,559
Speaker 4: I lay in bed that night and decide that I

1777
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,240
Speaker 4: was not gonna let me treat it like that again.

1778
01:19:01,840 --> 01:19:04,280
Speaker 3: I didn't think that they would respond well to uh,

1779
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:05,040
Speaker 3: you stink it.

1780
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:08,759
Speaker 4: I'm not coming back until you treat me a better message. Instead,

1781
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:10,559
Speaker 4: I found other places to be when I knew they

1782
01:19:10,560 --> 01:19:13,040
Speaker 4: were gathering. I work with women who have been mistreated

1783
01:19:13,080 --> 01:19:15,800
Speaker 4: on Christmas and helped out a friend whose spouse had

1784
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:19,000
Speaker 4: a serious medical issue at Thanksgiving last year. I'm catching

1785
01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,600
Speaker 4: some flak from some people who actually do seem to

1786
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:25,320
Speaker 4: miss me. This, however, is the plan until something drastically changes,

1787
01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:28,800
Speaker 4: and it doesn't seem that anything will change. Nancy's brother

1788
01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:31,439
Speaker 4: passed away this year, and they didn't mention me in

1789
01:19:31,479 --> 01:19:33,880
Speaker 4: the obituary, even though I am supposed to be family

1790
01:19:33,960 --> 01:19:35,800
Speaker 4: and did spend a lot of time with them over

1791
01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:37,920
Speaker 4: the years. I took time off work to go to

1792
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,840
Speaker 4: the funeral and burial. After the burial, I was asked

1793
01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:43,360
Speaker 4: come to a meal for the family. They were having

1794
01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:45,400
Speaker 4: a meal back at the church for the family. I

1795
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:47,920
Speaker 4: just looked at them and said no. They didn't let

1796
01:19:47,920 --> 01:19:50,160
Speaker 4: me know this ahead of time, presumably because they didn't

1797
01:19:50,160 --> 01:19:52,840
Speaker 4: want to deal with my dietary restrictions. I told them no,

1798
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,519
Speaker 4: and then I had to get back to work.

1799
01:19:54,520 --> 01:19:55,559
Speaker 3: Here's a killer thought.

1800
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:57,760
Speaker 2: Maybe they didn't tell you ahead of time, because you've

1801
01:19:57,840 --> 01:20:00,200
Speaker 2: kind of made it very clear you don't mess with

1802
01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:02,280
Speaker 2: any of these people. So they are like, maybe we

1803
01:20:02,439 --> 01:20:05,200
Speaker 2: just like won't let's not talk to op. Op doesn't

1804
01:20:05,240 --> 01:20:06,240
Speaker 2: like it when we talk to them.

1805
01:20:06,400 --> 01:20:08,800
Speaker 4: Because Nancy's brother passed away this year and they didn't

1806
01:20:08,840 --> 01:20:10,960
Speaker 4: mention me in the obituary. Why would you be mentioned

1807
01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:11,720
Speaker 4: in the obituary?

1808
01:20:11,880 --> 01:20:16,599
Speaker 2: Again, just I'm so go outside, Op, actually, Op, go inside.

1809
01:20:16,720 --> 01:20:19,600
Speaker 4: I legitimately don't understand why you would be mentioned in

1810
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:26,439
Speaker 4: the obituary for your dad's step like your stepmother's brother

1811
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:27,720
Speaker 4: that you have no relation to.

1812
01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:29,800
Speaker 2: Well, she wanted to be in the obituary, saying how

1813
01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:33,559
Speaker 2: and by the way, Nancy sucks. I don't understand why

1814
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:37,479
Speaker 2: you would be my step grandma. I don't like her anyway,

1815
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:38,640
Speaker 2: and that's in the obituary.

1816
01:20:38,800 --> 01:20:39,679
Speaker 3: Let's keep going.

1817
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:43,920
Speaker 4: I continue to distance myself from them, and I really

1818
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:47,400
Speaker 4: struggle through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays because my mom's birthday,

1819
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:50,280
Speaker 4: the anniversary of her death, and my birthday, which was

1820
01:20:50,320 --> 01:20:53,040
Speaker 4: the day after we buried my mom, are all between

1821
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:56,160
Speaker 4: those holidays. I can't hold my trauma plus thirds anymore.

1822
01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:59,839
Speaker 4: Nancy's cheating act still comes to all their holiday gatherings,

1823
01:21:00,040 --> 01:21:02,600
Speaker 4: and it causes a lot of tension, even though they

1824
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:04,880
Speaker 4: would like to pretend that they're one big, happy family.

1825
01:21:05,160 --> 01:21:07,160
Speaker 4: I think that's why Nancy responds to me the way

1826
01:21:07,160 --> 01:21:09,920
Speaker 4: she does now, because I shattered the illusion that they

1827
01:21:09,920 --> 01:21:13,439
Speaker 4: were one big, happy family by advocating for what I needed.

1828
01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:15,960
Speaker 4: I haven't totally stopped seeing them for the holidays. I

1829
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:19,040
Speaker 4: get together with my dad sometimes Thanksgiving weekend and away

1830
01:21:19,080 --> 01:21:21,960
Speaker 4: from the family gathering, and we had a tradition of

1831
01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:25,839
Speaker 4: Christmas breakfast with just my dad, me and Nancy. However,

1832
01:21:25,960 --> 01:21:28,439
Speaker 4: I refuse to be there for the family gatherings where

1833
01:21:28,439 --> 01:21:32,839
Speaker 4: I feel unseen and unwanted. By the way, You're always wanted.

1834
01:21:33,120 --> 01:21:35,320
Speaker 4: And you can go listen to full episodes with stories

1835
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:38,320
Speaker 4: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1836
01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:39,519
Speaker 4: iHeartRadio and search.

1837
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,599
Speaker 3: Up Bookey story Time. This is a little bit more

1838
01:21:41,960 --> 01:21:44,200
Speaker 3: to this story. But do you have any final thoughts?

1839
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:46,840
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think what was that last sentence right before

1840
01:21:47,080 --> 01:21:48,759
Speaker 2: the tagline, because that was really.

1841
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:51,559
Speaker 4: I refuse to be there for the family gatherings where

1842
01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:53,240
Speaker 4: I feel unseen and unwanted.

1843
01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:56,559
Speaker 2: I refuse to be there. So now this is going

1844
01:21:56,640 --> 01:21:59,559
Speaker 2: to start the loop, the spiral of It's like, well,

1845
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:03,040
Speaker 2: you're not there because you feel a certain way, so

1846
01:22:03,160 --> 01:22:07,400
Speaker 2: you remove yourself. Everyone sees you remove yourself and they go.

1847
01:22:07,439 --> 01:22:10,000
Speaker 2: I guess OP doesn't want to be here anymore, So

1848
01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:12,080
Speaker 2: no one's gonna say, oh, we need to go fix this.

1849
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:13,000
Speaker 3: It's gonna go well.

1850
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:17,320
Speaker 2: OP, as an adult who is thirty nine, has made

1851
01:22:17,400 --> 01:22:20,760
Speaker 2: her own choice and does not want to associate with us,

1852
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:24,839
Speaker 2: So we will respect that choice. I guess, yeah, especially

1853
01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:27,280
Speaker 2: considering it was made in a way that feels a

1854
01:22:27,320 --> 01:22:27,920
Speaker 2: little hostile.

1855
01:22:27,920 --> 01:22:29,519
Speaker 3: Maybe she doesn't even want to hear from us.

1856
01:22:29,479 --> 01:22:31,519
Speaker 2: In the first place, but instead I feel like OP

1857
01:22:31,760 --> 01:22:34,960
Speaker 2: is gonna take years of probably like silence or a

1858
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:37,240
Speaker 2: little to no contact as like, see, I was right,

1859
01:22:37,479 --> 01:22:39,680
Speaker 2: they all hate me. They want nothing to do with me.

1860
01:22:40,320 --> 01:22:43,360
Speaker 2: You have put yourself in this position right now.

1861
01:22:43,560 --> 01:22:47,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, OPI is a dairy allergy? Is that it?

1862
01:22:47,439 --> 01:22:48,000
Speaker 3: Or is there more?

1863
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,479
Speaker 4: Because I said so? They said they couldn't eat hot

1864
01:22:50,479 --> 01:22:53,000
Speaker 4: dogs or hamburgers either. I don't know, but there's a

1865
01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:54,920
Speaker 4: little bit more. They are the only people in my

1866
01:22:54,920 --> 01:22:58,120
Speaker 4: life who flattern't refuse to accommodate my dietary restrictions, and

1867
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:01,360
Speaker 4: it's very hurtful to me. It's interesting because Nancy's grandson

1868
01:23:01,439 --> 01:23:03,920
Speaker 4: is now gluten free. I haven't heard why, but they

1869
01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:07,960
Speaker 4: are accommodating that. The family also accommodated when my stepsister

1870
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,880
Speaker 4: had the VID and couldn't stand the taste of onions.

1871
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:13,639
Speaker 4: They tasted awful to her, so they would leave them

1872
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:16,080
Speaker 4: out for It's not that they can't accommodate, it's that

1873
01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:18,280
Speaker 4: they won't. So am I the a hole?

1874
01:23:18,520 --> 01:23:20,040
Speaker 2: I don't even know if you're an a hole? You're

1875
01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:21,440
Speaker 2: just like kind of childish.

1876
01:23:21,560 --> 01:23:24,120
Speaker 4: I think that you are. Like, if that is the case,

1877
01:23:24,160 --> 01:23:26,000
Speaker 4: I think again. I think you're valid for being upset,

1878
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:28,240
Speaker 4: but like, just the way that you've reacted, it feels

1879
01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:29,000
Speaker 4: very childish.

1880
01:23:29,120 --> 01:23:32,160
Speaker 2: It's like knowing that you're thirty nine really changes the

1881
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:34,040
Speaker 2: way this story gets processed in our head, and it's

1882
01:23:34,040 --> 01:23:37,640
Speaker 2: like that's you know, it's like that's a reality of existence.

1883
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:39,920
Speaker 2: It's like you will have more sympathy for like the

1884
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:43,000
Speaker 2: small child than you will for the fifty year old adult. Yeah,

1885
01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:45,520
Speaker 2: because the small child is just a little more blameless

1886
01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:48,040
Speaker 2: and also can't make their own food right. It doesn't

1887
01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,880
Speaker 2: understand Like even if you were twenty, it's like, all right,

1888
01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:52,720
Speaker 2: you still don't really get the ins and outs of

1889
01:23:52,760 --> 01:23:55,880
Speaker 2: like being an adult. It's like and honestly, like a

1890
01:23:55,920 --> 01:23:58,000
Speaker 2: lot of us never like that's kind of the big

1891
01:23:58,080 --> 01:24:00,000
Speaker 2: lie is that, like at some point you wake up

1892
01:24:00,040 --> 01:24:03,000
Speaker 2: and you're like, I get it. It's like everyone seems

1893
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:04,439
Speaker 2: to just be like no, no, no, we make it up

1894
01:24:04,479 --> 01:24:07,040
Speaker 2: the entire time, and some of us just end up

1895
01:24:07,080 --> 01:24:10,840
Speaker 2: in better positions than others. But like once you hit forty, dude,

1896
01:24:10,840 --> 01:24:13,240
Speaker 2: it's like I can't hear you being in your victim

1897
01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:16,880
Speaker 2: mentality state. You need to be solving problems instead of

1898
01:24:16,960 --> 01:24:19,920
Speaker 2: amplifying them and then trying to say, see, everyone, look

1899
01:24:19,960 --> 01:24:20,200
Speaker 2: at this.

1900
01:24:20,400 --> 01:24:21,120
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story.