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Speaker 1: Hey, this is am. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got.

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Speaker 2: Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 1: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 1: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: My disabled mom keeps criticizing my wife, so I'm cutting

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Speaker 3: contact with her.

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Speaker 2: Wow, looks like you need to take a look at yourself.

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Speaker 3: My wife female twenty seven and I male twenty eight

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Speaker 3: always take our moms to a restaurant on Mother's Day

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Speaker 3: weekend with our two kids, and we'll sometimes do something

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Speaker 3: fun afterwards, such as a movie or hanging out in

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Speaker 3: the backyard. However, things have been difficult for my mom

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Speaker 3: since my father passed away some years ago, and it

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Speaker 3: led to a relapse in drinking that she stopped for

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Speaker 3: some time when he was alive, along with some depression too.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from pro raidd Lescent and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay Storytime Separate. So things began to

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Speaker 3: get better when one of her friends invited her to

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Speaker 3: church and she attended for almost two years, which coincided

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Speaker 3: with her draw and booze again along with improvements to

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Speaker 3: her mental health nice as she got more involved with

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Speaker 3: midweek classes and church support groups.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think this just brings a community aspect to

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Speaker 2: her lives. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: However, that came with some negative side effects that led

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Speaker 3: to me putting up boundaries with her. My mom wasn't

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Speaker 3: raised religious growing up, but she began to change upon going,

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Speaker 3: which later led to me making this post. One of

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Speaker 3: the earliest things she began doing was criticizing the radio

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Speaker 3: in my car for not being Christian music when driving

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Speaker 3: to her doctor's appointments. I only want to hear the

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Speaker 3: Christian rock music.

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Speaker 2: Dude. That's that was me back home. My mom only

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Speaker 2: listens to Christian music, and now she listens to like

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Speaker 2: Leonard Skinnered with my brothers, and I'm like, why didn't

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Speaker 2: you do that with me? Are you listen to I

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Speaker 2: never got to listen to Freebird until I was eighteen.

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Speaker 2: Sex man, imagine living that kind of life.

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Speaker 3: That's rough. Couldn't do it. But when she criticized my

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Speaker 3: wife for not bringing our kids to her churches Sunday school,

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Speaker 3: my wife told me and I told my mom that

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Speaker 3: while we're happy that church has helped her depression and

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Speaker 3: cutting back on Booze. We personally disagree with indoctrinating kids,

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Speaker 3: but she didn't like my answer. She said I owed

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Speaker 3: it to her to take them because her husband wasn't

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Speaker 3: saved and wouldn't be in heaven with her, and she

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Speaker 3: didn't want to save for her grandchildren. But when I

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Speaker 3: held firm on my stand, she said I was failing

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Speaker 3: as a parent before we eventually dropped it early. Your

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Speaker 3: faith is your own, and I'm glad it's helping you,

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Speaker 3: but don't don't try and push it on in your family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you also have to like read the Bible

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Speaker 2: a little bit more here, because if you.

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Speaker 3: Would live it, show them that it's great, show.

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Speaker 2: Them exactly if you want to. If you want them

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Speaker 2: to be in like really about it, you have to

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Speaker 2: live how Jesus lived. And then they'd be like, Wow,

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Speaker 2: that looks great. I'm gonna check that out.

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Speaker 3: You don't have to. You don't have to push them.

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Speaker 2: But doing a pointing the finger at him doesn't work,

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Speaker 2: just gonna waste energy.

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Speaker 3: But when she criticized my wife's parenting for almost an

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Speaker 3: hour while at a little league game for our sons

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Speaker 3: some months ago, a game, I wasn't present for it.

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Speaker 3: That also made her cry. That led to us deciding

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Speaker 3: to set boundaries and taking a break from driving slash

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Speaker 3: telling her about sporting events for our kids. Yeah, our

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Speaker 3: decision was also based on mom's newfound willingness to pester

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Speaker 3: my wife via text about who she'd be voting for

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Speaker 3: and why she'd be voting right for the first time.

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Speaker 3: After explaining how she wrongly voted left before going to church,

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Speaker 3: My wife told her nicely that she didn't feel comfortable

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Speaker 3: discussing politics, but Mom ignored her and continued telling her

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Speaker 3: who she should vote for. Nikesh, Yeah, you got to

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Speaker 3: set up really strong boundaries with this person, because your

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Speaker 3: mom is going to keep trying to insert herself and

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Speaker 3: tell her and tell you guys what she thinks is right,

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Speaker 3: as if it's like the word of God, and it's not.

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Speaker 3: It's not. She found this late and she's now like, well,

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Speaker 3: now I found this. It's absolutely truth, and you have

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Speaker 3: to believe.

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Speaker 2: Me, dude, Like this might piss people off, but when

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Speaker 2: you can like the politics and Christianity are the same thing,

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Speaker 2: the same lane, you have to think the same on that.

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Speaker 2: It's so sad to see you because like you're just

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Speaker 2: speaking two different languages saying it's you know, the right, right,

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Speaker 2: it's all right, and it's oh, they're just so mind boggling.

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Speaker 2: That's so sad to see this. Yeah, it's happen.

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Speaker 3: It's let's just keep it out. If you can't be respectful,

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Speaker 3: just don't talk about it.

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Speaker 2: The real problem here is critical thinking, because I don't

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Speaker 2: think the mother is actually challenging herself to think on

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Speaker 2: her own.

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Speaker 3: No, I mean she's she's so, she was at this

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Speaker 3: low period of her life. She goes to church. They're

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Speaker 3: probably saying this thing, and she's just spouting it right

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Speaker 3: back out. She's not thinking about anything. It's like they're

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Speaker 3: tolding me this.

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Speaker 2: And the thing that bothers me is like, you know,

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Speaker 2: as Christians, you're supposed to read you know, scripture and

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Speaker 2: everything and then interpret it the way that you think

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Speaker 2: and let God speak to you through that instead of

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Speaker 2: letting them like the preacher speak to you. And then

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Speaker 2: you're like, Okay, that's what we're gonna say.

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Speaker 3: The literal entire point, if you look at like history,

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Speaker 3: religious history, the entire point of the Bible being translated

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Speaker 3: into different languages was so that people could like lay

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Speaker 3: people people who didn't speak Latin could read it and

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Speaker 3: be like, oh, this is what the Bible saying. I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna interpret it. That's the whole point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, Wait.

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Speaker 3: Unless you're going to church at Latin, you're supposed to

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Speaker 3: know what you're talking about. And then you know you're

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Speaker 3: not supposed to you're doing it wrong.

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Speaker 4: Girl.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so sad.

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Speaker 3: That finally brings me to Mother's Day. When we set boundaries,

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Speaker 3: we took a break from bringing her to our kids'

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Speaker 3: sporting event, but decided to keep holiday gatherings Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial,

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Speaker 3: July fourth, et cetera until she improved. But as of

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Speaker 3: this weekend, Mom called my wife and told her that

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Speaker 3: she didn't want to be included in Mother's Day activities

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Speaker 3: because her church was boycotting Mother's Day after the pastor's

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Speaker 3: wife spoke about how too many women skip church to

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Speaker 3: go to breakfast when God should always come first, no

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Speaker 3: matter the holiday. Sorry, they're boycotting Mother's Day because people

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Speaker 3: are going to brunch. Dude, maybe you should make your

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Speaker 3: Mother's Day mass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that. I do agree with that,

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Speaker 2: because if you don't have your people fired up, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: here to hear what you got to say in church,

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Speaker 2: then you're doing something wrong.

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Speaker 3: Also, do you think that boycotting Mother's Day is gonna

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Speaker 3: make the moms want to come to your Mother's Day mass?

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Speaker 2: It kind of looks like you don't support women, not

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Speaker 2: gonna lie gus what if he like? And most importantly mothers,

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Speaker 2: you don't support mothers.

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Speaker 3: Which I'm sorry. Mothers are pretty important in Christianity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because if you don't have a mother, you don't

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Speaker 2: have a population.

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Speaker 3: So for that reason, her church was having a Mother's

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Speaker 3: Day luncheon after service where they wanted mothers to invite

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Speaker 3: their families to church for the holiday, and she wanted

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Speaker 3: us to come with the kids to hear a message

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Speaker 3: about mothers from God. But when my wife said she

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Speaker 3: would talk to me about it, Mom criticized her for

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Speaker 3: always having to ask me and said she needed to

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Speaker 3: grow a fine, which I don't appreciate. She also told

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Speaker 3: her that our kids needed to be in church and

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Speaker 3: that she wouldn't spend other holidays with us unless we came,

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Speaker 3: and I'm quite aggravated with her at the moment. So

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Speaker 3: in conclusion, here is my question. My wife thinks we

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Speaker 3: should cut her off permanently, But I'm in charge of

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Speaker 3: driving her to doctor's appointments along with getting her medication

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Speaker 3: because she can't drive, so that makes it slightly complicated

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Speaker 3: to cut her off since her health depends on us.

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Speaker 3: She says she doesn't want a nurse or retirement home,

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Speaker 3: but if it weren't for that, I'm right there with her.

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Speaker 3: My wife offered the idea of only me keeping contact

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Speaker 3: for the sole purpose of medication and doctors only, but

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Speaker 3: she's also unsure and suggested counseling on the matter, and

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Speaker 3: I'm open to doing that together. But as we're looking

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Speaker 3: into counseling options, I wanted to ask Reddit in case

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Speaker 3: anyone else is a caretaker for a different person and

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Speaker 3: how to navigate when the relationship changes. And I appreciate

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Speaker 3: Annie and all advice.

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Speaker 2: So what do you think this mother has decided to take,

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Speaker 2: you know, change her life for better in her opinion,

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Speaker 2: and she's trying to do the things that she think

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Speaker 2: is right, and she wants her life to reflect it

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Speaker 2: in all aspects, even with her son and being like, hey,

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Speaker 2: this is how I live my life. I think you

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Speaker 2: should live your life this way too, because this is

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Speaker 2: the better way. I just think she's missing the critical

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Speaker 2: thinking aspect of all of this, and not really understanding

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Speaker 2: how her words have weight on her family and how

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Speaker 2: she may sound a little crazy here.

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Speaker 3: And well, I think that she's just willing to sacrifice

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Speaker 3: her relationship with her son and her grandchildren to be right, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: which is never the point. Like, again, grew up Catholic.

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Speaker 3: That's not what the scripture, That's not what Jesus was saying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not helpful.

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Speaker 3: You know. It's like she says that she's preaching this doctrine,

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Speaker 3: but is not being respectful and is not actually listening

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Speaker 3: to the doctrine. She's just listening to what the preacher

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Speaker 3: is saying, which is probably a very you know, very

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Speaker 3: specific interpretation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it just it just bothers me too, because

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Speaker 2: a lot of churches these days are more about the

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Speaker 2: business rather than actually seeking out like what the Bible

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Speaker 2: is actually trying to say. So, like you also have

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Speaker 2: that filtered on top of it too, And I don't know,

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Speaker 2: it's just it's all in good intention but executed wrongly,

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Speaker 2: very wrong.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Edit, one hour after making my post, it has already

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Speaker 3: been worth it. Either suggested having my mom be driven

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Speaker 3: to the doctor and medications from church friends or an

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Speaker 3: uber and I hadn't thought of that before this post. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I was about to say, is there anyone who can

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Speaker 3: drive your mom like else? Like, maybe you can organize that,

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Speaker 3: but you still limit contact because she's just not being

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Speaker 3: respectful and that's not okay. My wife has considered cutting

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Speaker 3: her off in the past and blocking her, but changed

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Speaker 3: her mind every time due to my mom being in

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Speaker 3: a wheelchair and wanting to try and be the bigger person.

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Speaker 3: She is now ready to block her and move on.

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Speaker 3: And the only reason I didn't cut her off sooner

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Speaker 3: was due to her being in a wheelchair, until receiving

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Speaker 3: suggestions to tell her to let her church friends or

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Speaker 3: an uber driver instead of us, so we no longer

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Speaker 3: have to tolerate it. Mom was never like this before

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Speaker 3: dad passed and she started going to church, but she

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Speaker 3: kept harping on how she realized that her husband wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be in heaven after getting saved herself, so she wanted

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Speaker 3: her grandchildren to go to heaven. Said we owed it

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Speaker 3: to her to bring them to church, and when I

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Speaker 3: told her we disagree with indoctrinating children, especially with how

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Speaker 3: Christianity can screw with your mind if they ever want

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Speaker 3: to come out in the future. She called me selfish

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Speaker 3: among other things. And she seems to be driven from

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Speaker 3: losing her husband.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, And that's like not how Christianity set up.

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Speaker 2: Is set up with like a willing intention, like I

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Speaker 2: want to get to know Jesus more. Thus, like I'll

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Speaker 2: go to heaven and all that stuff. If grandkids are

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Speaker 2: forced into that, that's not how it's built out to be.

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Speaker 2: That's and it's ugh, dude, she's not getting it. She

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Speaker 2: is like lost because of her husband.

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Speaker 3: I think this church has become an unhealthy coping mechanism

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Speaker 3: for her emotional trauma of losing her husband after she

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Speaker 3: refused counseling for her depression when we suggested way back

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Speaker 3: closer to dad's passing. Here's what's crazy that her whole

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Speaker 3: personality changed in under two years of going to that

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Speaker 3: church and becoming a Christian. It can happen. I had,

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Speaker 3: you know, I have some I know some people what

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Speaker 3: name names Bena, I know some people who or I

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Speaker 3: didn't see this, you know, but my parents saw this

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Speaker 3: transition of like becoming very very religious, and you like,

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Speaker 3: especially depending on the church that you go to, you

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Speaker 3: can go down a path where you think that you're

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Speaker 3: the only person who's right and everyone else who's not, like,

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Speaker 3: who's not listening to you, is going to hell. It's like,

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Speaker 3: why are we having that mindset instead of actually living

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Speaker 3: out the doctrine of love?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love them people, that's.

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Speaker 3: The main point. That's the main point. She's become fixated

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Speaker 3: on hell and wanting our grandkids to go to church

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Speaker 3: so that our grandkids would go to heaven and not

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Speaker 3: be separated from her like dad who passed away unsaved.

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Speaker 3: And she even flipped her political parties too, and became

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Speaker 3: very outspoken about it when she used to hardly talk

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Speaker 3: politics and was somewhat reserved. And there is an update, so.

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Speaker 2: You can really tell that if someone like you know,

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Speaker 2: it's one thing to like find a religion and be

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Speaker 2: all about that religion, but it's another thing to like

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Speaker 2: find that religion and then also change who you are

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Speaker 2: politics on it. It's like you're just listening to what

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Speaker 2: these new people have to say and you're not really

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Speaker 2: critically thinking, Yeah, if it's intentional, and it's like I'm

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Speaker 2: going to this to this because of these views. Great,

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Speaker 2: but I know that if you ask her, So, why

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Speaker 2: do you did you change from this.

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Speaker 3: To this because her church said, well, this is what

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Speaker 3: you have to do. Sure Christians vote this way, and it's.

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Speaker 2: Like, whoa, there's no but why, oh, I see that

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do this. It just seems very aggressive. It's weird.

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Speaker 2: This is weird.

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Speaker 3: It is weird. Some people asked what we ended up doing,

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Speaker 3: so I wanted to provide an update for those who helped.

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Speaker 3: But before I do, there's one thing I want to address.

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Speaker 3: Many people asked why I didn't cut my mom out

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Speaker 3: of our lives immediately after she made my wife cry

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Speaker 3: at a baseball game, and I discussed cutting her off

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Speaker 3: when it happened. Well, we know why because she has

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Speaker 3: medical issues.

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Speaker 2: And I come from a family where my parents have

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Speaker 2: had a distance from her parents. Even though everyone's like,

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Speaker 2: you know, Christian are cool, you just need that sometimes

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Speaker 2: in life you just need a kind of space from people.

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Speaker 3: However, my wife disagreed and said my mom needed support

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Speaker 3: in two ways, seeing the kids and driving her shopping,

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Speaker 3: and two doctors and prescriptions. We set a boundary of

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Speaker 3: no longer taking her to our kids' games, but my

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Speaker 3: wife also said that her seeing the kids for holidays

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Speaker 3: would help her overcome the law of her husband, and

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Speaker 3: she believed that losing access to their sporting events would

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Speaker 3: make her change. However, the biggest reason my wife didn't

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Speaker 3: want to cut her off is because she's a Christian too,

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Speaker 3: and she was happy when my mom got saved and

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Speaker 3: believed we should turn the cheek despite the baseball incident,

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Speaker 3: because God loved us when we didn't deserve it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I so I have so many things

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Speaker 2: to say about turning the cheek on theven two.

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Speaker 3: So we agreed to just remove her from sporting events

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Speaker 3: to see if she'd change.

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Speaker 2: Nice. Nice, Okay, I like that. I like that.

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Speaker 3: Personally, I'm not a Christian, but my wife and I

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Speaker 3: think similarly. She despises how many Christians criticize gay people

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Speaker 3: and pregnancy terminations and believes that God loves all people

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Speaker 3: for who they are, and she said she'd be supportive

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Speaker 3: if our kids came out too. That brings me to

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Speaker 3: what happens since my original post. After my mom told

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Speaker 3: my wife to grab a fine and stop bringing everything

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Speaker 3: she suggested to me and unity, my wife reached her

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Speaker 3: breaking point and wanted to officially cut her off and

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Speaker 3: thanks to outful comments that told us how to have

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Speaker 3: her prescriptions delivered and suggest having one of her church

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Speaker 3: friends or an uber take her to the doctor's if

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Speaker 3: she's going to continue verbally abusing my wife and family,

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Speaker 3: I sat down with her and gave her those options,

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Speaker 3: and she didn't like anything I had to say. She

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Speaker 3: reiterated how I was failing my kids when I told

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Speaker 3: her we wouldn't bring them to church for Mother's Day

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Speaker 3: and exchange for her no longer spending time with our family,

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Speaker 3: as she threatened, because family time isn't conditional, And when

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Speaker 3: I asked her how she could throw away who she

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Speaker 3: was before Grandpa passed, she reiterated how she regretted accepting

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Speaker 3: Christ before Grandpa passed and that he wasn't in heaven

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Speaker 3: because of it. So when she told me that she

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Speaker 3: didn't want me taking her shopping or to the doctor anymore,

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Speaker 3: she said I wasn't her child anymore because I was

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Speaker 3: preventing her from being around my kids. So she basically

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Speaker 3: disowned me in hopes that I'd cave and bring my

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Speaker 3: kids to church on Mother's Day coming up, and my

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Speaker 3: wife and I have no plans to do. So it's

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Speaker 3: been really hard the past few days since we spoke,

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Speaker 3: but my wife supports our boundary and added one more

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Speaker 3: reason why she hit her breaking point. During a recent

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Speaker 3: argument between my wife and mom, my mom asked her

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Speaker 3: why she wouldn't bring our kids to our church or

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Speaker 3: any church at all, when my wife is a Christian,

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Speaker 3: and my wife told her that she hasn't attended any

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Speaker 3: church since twenty sixteen because church in America has changed

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Speaker 3: in many places. The church my wife attended began becoming

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Speaker 3: more political, even to the point of endorsing the forty

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Speaker 3: fifth president from the pulpit during sermons and occasionally making

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Speaker 3: comments about gay people and pregnancy terminations.

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Speaker 2: Okay, like, why are we endorsing presidents? That's so true,

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Speaker 2: that's not that's so weird because I know, I know

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Speaker 2: for a fact that if the man above came and

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Speaker 2: endorsed the options that came, he'd be like, yo, we're

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Speaker 2: so cooked. Like that's my true thought. I don't think

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Speaker 2: American politics and Christianity should ever go hand at hand.

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Speaker 2: That's just Oh, that's been so sad.

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Speaker 3: State man, separation, church and state, separate that church and

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Speaker 3: state so wild. We're not a freaking you know, theocracy,

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Speaker 3: and she believes that church is supposed to be about

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Speaker 3: love and not hate, like too many churches have forgotten

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Speaker 3: since twenty sixteen. There is a little bit left the story.

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Speaker 3: But dude, I think you guys are making I think

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Speaker 3: you guys are making the right decision.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, she's chosen.

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Speaker 3: The thing is, she's made her choice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I like, like, uh, they said the example

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Speaker 2: of turn the cheek and the whole reason I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: go on a little runt here because I can. They

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Speaker 2: gave me a mic. I'm going to round on this.

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Speaker 2: So the whole reason of like churning the cheek is

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Speaker 2: not like you know, if Sophia punches me, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: turn the cheek and let her punch me again. No,

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Speaker 2: it's like kind of symbolizing like the unjust in like

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Speaker 2: the world. So like, for example, during the days of Jesus,

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Speaker 2: if a Roman soldier asks you to carry or to

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Speaker 2: pick up their stuff, and like they can like come

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Speaker 2: to you and be like, hey, carry my things for

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Speaker 2: a mile. They can only do it for a mile.

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Speaker 2: You're supposed to carry it for ten. I did know this. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're supposed to carry for two. To show like how

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Speaker 2: unjust it is and kind of be petty. It's actually

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Speaker 2: to be petty. Yeah, way I knew.

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Speaker 3: I actually I did learn this, which is like I

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Speaker 3: love that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think like that's what you've shown, is

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Speaker 2: like how show how petty they thought of the world

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Speaker 2: should be perceived. So then like it's like, hey, this

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Speaker 2: is really unjust what you're doing to me. It's not

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Speaker 2: like you're gonna I'm gonna let Sophia keep hitting me

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Speaker 2: or I'm gonna have to carry always carry Sophia's things.

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Speaker 2: It's like I'll let it happen once, show how petty

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Speaker 2: it is, and then I'm gonna guard myself so I

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Speaker 2: will be protected and not like you know, that's the

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Speaker 2: whole intent of that. And I think that this family

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Speaker 2: has done that beautifully, where like they you know said, uh,

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Speaker 2: like we're gonna you know, we're gonna upset boundaries, so

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Speaker 2: we don't let this mom, you know, because you're the

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Speaker 2: parents of these kids, so you have to first say

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Speaker 2: and how they like, you know, treat your kids and

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Speaker 2: like teach them.

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Speaker 3: Agreed, agreed, but that there is a little bit left

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Speaker 3: to that story. So we're gonna finish it off so

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Speaker 3: for that reason, my wife simply reads her Bible at

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Speaker 3: home and said she'll never enter a church again outside

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Speaker 3: of a funeral because too many churches worship the president

398
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Speaker 3: instead of God, and my mom called her a fake

399
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Speaker 3: Christian despite only being a Christian for two years since

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Speaker 3: Grandpa passed away compared to my wife, who's been a

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Speaker 3: Christian for much longer. We plan to stay firm to

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Speaker 3: our boundary on Mother's Day, but it honestly hurts to

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Speaker 3: have been disowned, So if anyone has any suggestions about

404
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 3: coping with that, I'd appreciate it. Although my wife has

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Speaker 3: been supportive and we're trying to figure out how to

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Speaker 3: tell our kids that grandma likely won't be part of

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Speaker 3: our lives anymore, along with the importance of choosing religion

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Speaker 3: or not for themselves, which is why we're making the

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Speaker 3: boundary with grandma. So if anyone has any suggestions on

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Speaker 3: how to speak to our kids too, we'd appreciate that

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Speaker 3: as well. And folks, that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, there you go. Best thing you can do

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Speaker 2: is pray for that's I'll be praying. Best thing you

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Speaker 2: can do. Yeah, it's so sad to see it.

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Speaker 3: It really sucks. It really sucks when people use religion

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Speaker 3: as a way too. And yeah, weaponize religion when.

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Speaker 2: It's yep, bless got the freaking crusades, dude.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been used like that always. Yes, that's why

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Speaker 3: I personally don't like organized religion. But that's my own personal.

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Speaker 2: Thoughts and that's why I have a relationship with Jesus

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Speaker 2: and not a religion.

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Speaker 3: And there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, I'm so glad I could give a little speak.

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Speaker 2: Sorry if it was a little too preachy, but that's

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Speaker 2: just that's just how a few things.

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Speaker 3: I mean this, it's relevant for this story. And he

427
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Speaker 3: got me. You have the religious and the agnostics.

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Speaker 2: Someone said, like when a Christian an agnostic do a podcast.

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Speaker 3: That's literally yeah, I'm coming her from it. Like the

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Speaker 3: with the academic I'm like, well this in the you

431
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Speaker 3: know when I had to study this and I was like, well, this.

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Speaker 4: Is my faith, and that's yeah, you get both sides, man,

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Speaker 4: it's called respect where you stand.

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Speaker 2: Key on I'm agnostic as well.

435
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Speaker 3: It's the Catholic trauma. Yeah, it's the Catholic trauma.

436
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,880
Speaker 4: Where it's like kind of like like I think it's

437
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 4: in your head, like you gotta do this every day.

438
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 2: We're like, oh yeah.

439
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 3: But folks, that's the end of that story. I put

440
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 3: a stop to the party.

441
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:53,360
Speaker 2: My wife through for our daughter party pooper, and we're

442
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 2: bat guys in the same clothes.

443
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 4: Whoo.

444
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 3: Let me set the stage. My wife and I forty

445
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 3: three and forty two female, have two daughters seven years apart.

446
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 3: Nineteen year old was out of college in a different

447
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 3: state when this happened. The girls are very different. The

448
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,639
Speaker 3: nineteen year old is up going, even extroverted, loves meeting

449
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 3: new people, trying new things, et cetera. Twelve year old

450
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 3: is shy, a homebody, finds things she's comfortable with and

451
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 3: sticks with them. In fairness, nineteen year old was kind

452
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 3: of like this until she was sixteen or so. Maybe

453
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 3: it's genetic. By the way, this comes from Yoka Loka Choka,

454
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

455
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime Separate it. So I'm Riley,

456
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, And a couple months ago, twelve

457
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 3: year old comes to me in my home office, obviously upset,

458
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 3: stammer's a bit, then manages to tell me that she

459
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 3: just got her first period. I play the supportive dad,

460
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,719
Speaker 3: comfort her and get her a box of sanitary pads

461
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 3: my wife had bought earlier in the year, guessing this

462
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 3: was gonna happen sooner or later, and go over the

463
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 3: instructions with her. Good Dad, Good Anya that I.

464
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 2: Would Oh my god, you're bleeding. Oh my god, Oh

465
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 2: my god, that'd be me because I don't know what

466
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 2: it's like, because I grew up with brothers.

467
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 3: You gotta figure out. Man, if you have a daughter,

468
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 3: you got figured out my genetics.

469
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 2: Probably won't. I want one, but probably won't just boys

470
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,879
Speaker 2: what I haven't like all of my But she's got

471
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 2: a bunch of sisters.

472
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe it'll counteract.

473
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 2: Hope, So I do want my first going to be

474
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 2: a girl.

475
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 3: Oh And she goes into the bathroom, does what she

476
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: has to do, thanks me for my help. I got

477
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 3: her some ice cream and Mityl told her there was

478
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 3: nothing to be embarrassed about and she could always come

479
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 3: to me for anything. Good job Dad. Wife gets home

480
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 3: later that day, twelve year old tells her what happened.

481
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 3: Wife starts crying. My little girl is growing up, et cetera.

482
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 3: Then asks who should be invited to the period party.

483
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 2: Whoa wait what?

484
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 3: Okay?

485
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 2: Is it like a tea party? But you just have

486
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 2: red forty in the tea.

487
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 3: Which I allknew from listening to Bert Kreischer if they

488
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 3: were a thing. When our nineteen year old started, she

489
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 3: never asked for one. I have heard that comedy clip.

490
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 3: It's have you seen that? It's like a comedian it's like,

491
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 3: my daughter asked for a period party. Okay, Well anyway, well,

492
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,959
Speaker 3: like what is it? I don't remember the full clip,

493
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 3: but it's just him like in his special he's talking

494
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 3: or in his set he's talking about how his daughter

495
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 3: was getting like invite a bunch of boys and not

496
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 3: tell him that it was a period party.

497
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 2: And he was like, yes, evil this whole thing.

498
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 3: It's funny.

499
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 4: His daughter was a great below yours.

500
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 3: Oh wait that's that guy. Yeah, oh I didn't know. Okay.

501
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 3: Twelve year old immediately closes off, says she doesn't want

502
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 3: a period party, doesn't want anyone to know. Wife tries

503
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 3: to talk to her some more, but twelve year old

504
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 3: ignores her and goes to her room. Wife tries to

505
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 3: enlist my aid in changing her mind, but I tell

506
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 3: her she said she didn't want one, don't worry about it.

507
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, you could have maybe done that with your

508
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 2: extroverted daughter, but too bad you didn't think of the idea.

509
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:05,400
Speaker 3: Too bad, so sad your twelve year old doesn't want it.

510
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,239
Speaker 2: Or you say, my nine year old daughter just had

511
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 2: her first period and then you give her one.

512
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, you retroactively give her a period party. Two days later,

513
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 3: I got home from running errands, and before I can

514
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 3: even make it to the stairs, twelve year old runs

515
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,679
Speaker 3: up to me and asks if she can do her

516
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 3: homework in my office. I'm confused, but say sure, and

517
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 3: she bolts upstairs. At this point I started to suspect

518
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 3: what was going on and walked into the living room

519
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: to find that my wife had not only decorated it

520
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 3: like something which wouldn't have looked out of place on

521
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,679
Speaker 3: my super sweet sixteen, but there were several family friends,

522
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 3: all women, and a few I recognize as neighborhood mothers.

523
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,919
Speaker 3: Why are you doing this? You're clearly just embarrassing your daughter.

524
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 3: Why would you like she doesn't want it?

525
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 2: Weird?

526
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 3: I beckon wife into the hall. She asks where twelve

527
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 3: year old is and I tell her she wanted to

528
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 3: do homework in my office. She rolls her and starts

529
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 3: to move past me, but I step in front of her.

530
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 3: What are you doing? Wife? Going to get twelve year old?

531
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 3: It's her party?

532
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: Me.

533
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 3: She told you specifically she didn't want one of these. Wife. Oh,

534
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,679
Speaker 3: she didn't mean that. This is an important time for

535
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 3: a girl. She needs to know not to be ashamed

536
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 3: of her body. She's not. I already explained things to her.

537
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: She just doesn't want to talk about it more. Were

538
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 3: you going to say something?

539
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 2: I don't understand why the mom is doing this. It

540
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,159
Speaker 2: sounds like you got three daughters in your house. You

541
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. You're trying to do. Yeah, she's not.

542
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 3: Being a being a bully.

543
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 2: She's being a bully. She's not being a proactive, listening,

544
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 2: communicative partner.

545
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 3: No, wife, I don't expect you to understand. This is

546
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 3: just for us women. She actually tried to push past me,

547
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 3: but I stepped into the doorway and completely blocked her. Wife,

548
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 3: what's wrong with you?

549
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 4: Me?

550
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 3: What's wrong with you? You know how shy twelve year

551
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 3: old is. You knew she didn't want you doing something

552
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 3: like this, and you did it anyway. I told you

553
00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 3: it's for her own good. We can't let her grow

554
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 3: with a negative attitude towards something so natural and we're not.

555
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 3: I told you she knows what's going on. She's getting

556
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 3: a handle on it. She just doesn't want to talk

557
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 3: about it with anyone else. Right now. That wasn't your

558
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 3: business to tell her about it anyway, you were at work.

559
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 3: Was I supposed to ignore her for four hours until.

560
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 2: You got home?

561
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 3: You could have called me. I would have come home.

562
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 3: This is so silly because it seems like she's saying, oh,

563
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 3: we need to teach her daughter not to be ashamed,

564
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 3: but also her father doesn't have a right to talk

565
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 3: to his daughter about it, like, oh, you should be

566
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 3: ashamed of telling your father.

567
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: Yea, Now I am interested in the parenting dynamic. It

568
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 2: doesn't make sense of all this because he so cool

569
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 2: and she sucks. Yeah, she's like kind of I don't know,

570
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 2: putting him down, not really working with him.

571
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 3: Oh, he says, it still would have taken you an hour.

572
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 3: She was upset. I knew what was going on. I

573
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 3: talked her through it. You don't know anything about it.

574
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: It's never happened to you, and he would ready. He

575
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 3: prepared himself. He probably researched stuff, he looked into it.

576
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 2: He was ready.

577
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,360
Speaker 3: Man, you weren't there. At this point, I gave up.

578
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: Point to my wife. No, I've never had a period.

579
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 3: But I had three older sisters and a living girlfriend

580
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: before my wife and I met. Plus we've been married

581
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 3: almost twenty one years. Plus he has a nineteen year

582
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 3: old daughter. I'm pretty well versed. She again tries to

583
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,479
Speaker 3: move past me, but I don't move. No, twelve year

584
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: old doesn't want this. I'm not letting you make her

585
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: do it. Fine, have your way. She goes back to

586
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 3: the living room and tells the other ladies the period

587
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 3: party's off because I'm being a jack butt. I lose it.

588
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 3: Follow her in and let the women know calmly but

589
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 3: in no uncertain terms, that I appreciate what they wanted

590
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 3: to do. But twelve year old made it explicitly clear

591
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 3: that she did not want this party, and my wife

592
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 3: is trying to pressure her into it.

593
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 2: I hate that he had to do that.

594
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she was.

595
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: Lying yeah, because you looked as a bad guy.

596
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, he's not supportive of the period party.

597
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 3: He hates women. He's trying to protect women.

598
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 2: Let me set this straight. Real quick.

599
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 3: Several of the moms frown at her. My wife starts

600
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 3: to backpedal, talking about how she didn't think twelve year

601
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 3: old was being serious, but I ignore her and begin

602
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 3: taking down the decorations. Everyone clears out shortly, and once

603
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 3: the coast is clear, twelve year old comes back downstairs.

604
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 3: My wife gives her a half budded in my opinion apology,

605
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 3: again saying she didn't think twelve year old was serious,

606
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 3: But twelve year old also ignores her and just starts

607
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 3: doing her homework in her usual place at the table.

608
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 3: My wife was pissed at me for a week, claiming

609
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 3: I undermined her authority as a parent, apparently by not

610
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 3: helping her force our daughter into doing something she didn't

611
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 3: want to do, and made her look bad in front

612
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 3: of the neighborhood moms by telling them she'd be doing

613
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 3: this against our daughter's wishes. Then maybe you shouldn't have

614
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 3: done it. Am I the a hole? And there are

615
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 3: comments folks, but what do you think?

616
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: You're not the a hole? You're not mature about it.

617
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 2: Let her selfish needs get absolutely yeah, I just little

618
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,719
Speaker 2: are really odd how the wife just kind of went

619
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,640
Speaker 2: over you and the twelve year old.

620
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's really it's a weird dynamic to

621
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 3: have Op be so supportive of his daughter and then

622
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 3: this mom just be kind of awful and also you know,

623
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 3: ragging on Ope as well and getting thrown him under

624
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 3: the bus whenever she can. It's weird. It's weird. Wire

625
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 3: Why what are her positives?

626
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 2: Yeah?

627
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,640
Speaker 3: Why is she doing this now? Has she ever done

628
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 3: this behavior before?

629
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 2: Or is it just at a period party? Is something

630
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 2: point for every woman should do, And she's trying to

631
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 2: start a tradition and everyone's missing out on it. And

632
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: this twelve year old is actually gonna be comed the

633
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: worst thing ever because she didn't have period party.

634
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 3: She's like, you don't understand how fun it is?

635
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: So what is a period party? What are we doing here?

636
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: Are we just I don't know?

637
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what her period party entails.

638
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 4: We drink fruit punch, strawberries, cranberries.

639
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know.

640
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 3: And you watch Twilight or something, comments comment one, not

641
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 3: the a hole. Puberty is an awkward, embarrassing time. Having

642
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 3: your parents in a spotlight on every confusing milestone would

643
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 3: be a nightmare. And reply and puberty embarrassment aside, there's

644
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 3: a whole host of privacy issues involved with what Op's

645
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,959
Speaker 3: wife did. Ignoring her kid's request for privacy is a

646
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 3: massive violation of trust, especially for a kid. It teaches

647
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: her that she can't entirely trust her mother to keep

648
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 3: anything a secret. Hopefully the kid can trust and rely

649
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 3: on her dad, because if he hadn't advocated for her,

650
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 3: a logical outcome would be to just hide every medical

651
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 3: and personal issue she faces in the future. That's how

652
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 3: you end up with kids that don't tell you when

653
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 3: they need help or when they're in trouble. Ope, he

654
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: may have just prevented a whole lot of future problems

655
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 3: by showing his kid that he's a reliable person to

656
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 3: talk to.

657
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 2: Reply.

658
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 3: Dad already is the go to person, it seems, considering

659
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 3: she went to him when it started and trusted that

660
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 3: he would help her, and then when she was trying

661
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 3: to hide from what her mother was doing, trusted her

662
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 3: dad would protect her. Yeah, good on you, OPI I

663
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 3: think he has a beautiful relationship with his daughter. Common

664
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 3: to not the ale. My mom through a rag day

665
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 3: party for me when I mine at thirteen. She walked

666
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 3: in with my relatives a cake that said happy rag

667
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 3: day doll while playing girl, You'll be a woman soon.

668
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 3: I left. Some parents are absolutely clueless and they like

669
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 3: to make every event about them and not the person

670
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: it should be about. Your daughter is going to know

671
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 3: who she can go to about things that are private

672
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 3: and that she needs to sort through in her own mind.

673
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 3: It won't be your wife. And comment three not the ale.

674
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 3: I think it's incredibly creepy when mothers do this for

675
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: a very inconvenient bodily function. It creeps me out that

676
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 3: people say she's grown up and became a woman, because

677
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 3: what it really means is she can get pregnant. I

678
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 3: like your daughter didn't want to tell my mom because

679
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 3: I had heard her tell the neighbor when my sister

680
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 3: got hers. This is a strong case for bodily autonomy

681
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 3: and not accepting that it is her daughter's right what

682
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: she discloses that the general public about her own body.

683
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 3: And there is an update.

684
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: John here og host We're going to get back to

685
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: these stories, but a quick three minute break from asser response.

686
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I think those are very true comments.

687
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 3: And I think Gopiece shown himself to be someone that

688
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 3: his daughter can.

689
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 2: Trust good father here. I would know. I wouldn't ask

690
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 2: the nineteen year old what her thoughts were, called, ninete,

691
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: young daughter, dude, this is what your mom tried to pull.

692
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,479
Speaker 3: We think I think that he could ask his nineteen

693
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 3: year old to offer some guidance to his daughter though,

694
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 3: and say like, hey, like you know, or maybe even

695
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 3: ask the twelve year old and say like, hey, would

696
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 3: you want to talk to your sister about this? Yeah,

697
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 3: because then you get like another woman's perspective, but also

698
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 3: someone who's not directly mom and is trying to like,

699
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 3: you know, take over everything.

700
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good too, because it is.

701
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 3: I mean, it's nice, like you do want to talk

702
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,239
Speaker 3: to other women and stuff like, it is nice to

703
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 3: have someone who's gone through it, But it doesn't seem

704
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 3: like the mom is going to be that person. So yeah,

705
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 3: is there anyone else she can talk to?

706
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 2: That's that's a good point.

707
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 3: And there is an update. I'm not gonna divorce my

708
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 3: wife or anything like that. She's an incredible woman and

709
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 3: as corny as it sounds, my one true love. She's

710
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 3: been an amazing mom. Never done anything like this before.

711
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 3: Wasn't planning on posting it to social media. She barely

712
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 3: even uses Facebook. She just made a misstep here for

713
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 3: reasons which I'll get into shortly. I can't respond to

714
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 3: every comment, but i'll expand on some which caught my attention.

715
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 3: Twelve year old did in fact get the talk from

716
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 3: wife when she turned twelve, so she knew what was happening,

717
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 3: but it was still something she hadn't experienced before, so

718
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: it threw her a little. I emailed my two closest

719
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 3: sisters and they both said, in their opinions, her reaction

720
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 3: was normal. As one of them put it, even at best,

721
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 3: it can be a shock, regardless of whether or not

722
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 3: you're prepared for it, because it just happens, and even

723
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 3: if you've felt PMS style symptoms without ever having felt

724
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 3: them before, you might not guess what they are until afterward.

725
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 3: It is also it's just like when you're twelve, or

726
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 3: like when you're young and you know you get your

727
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 3: first period. It's just kind of like, whoa, It's like here,

728
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 3: this thing that I you know, didn't know when it

729
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 3: was going to happen is fine, finally here, and it's

730
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 3: just like it's different.

731
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 2: Surprise, Yeah, I know.

732
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: It's it's just yeah, it's a little bit. It's not

733
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 3: scary exactly, but it's just like, did that be so scared?

734
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 3: You're getting like it's like a physical sign that you're

735
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 3: getting older, and you're like, whoa.

736
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like that. For boys, it's I'm just

737
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: gonna say, BONE don't know, Well, what do I do?

738
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 2: What do I do? I can't, I'm scared. The worst

739
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 2: is when you have to do a presentation and it

740
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: just happens. It's a cannon event for every guy. Didn't

741
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 2: that have a yukon You had to go up in

742
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 2: front of the class and talk and it just would appear. No, okay,

743
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 2: well it happened.

744
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 4: You wind that track rough?

745
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: I mean you just voice banded, dude, that's rough. Yeah.

746
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: But I can't. I can't talk about you know, women's

747
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 2: experience with this, but I can only imagine I'd be

748
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:52,479
Speaker 2: so scared.

749
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 4: I mean we can also just talk about the I mean,

750
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 4: could you imagine if there was a party for that,

751
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 4: Like you through a party for that?

752
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, like whoa, Yeah, it's totally natural and everything, but

753
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 3: it's like I don't want everyone to necessarily know, oh my.

754
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 2: Gosh, no, yeah, there you go.

755
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 4: That's kind of like not the same, but it's kind

756
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 4: of the same mindset for at least for us. And

757
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 4: it's like, why I'm already awkward as is like these

758
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 4: are your most awkward years of like trying to figure

759
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 4: yourself out, and your body is figuring yourself.

760
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 2: Out, self regulating.

761
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 3: M It does more than p twelve year old is like,

762
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 3: you're at like the most awkward age. You don't want

763
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 3: anyone to perceive you.

764
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 2: You really don't. You just kind of want to be

765
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 2: invisible until you turn into an adult.

766
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 3: Exactly. No, I did not notice the decorations being put up.

767
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 3: I had to go out and run some errands related

768
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 3: to my work. Was gone about three to four hours,

769
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 3: more than enough time for wife to decorate. Before we

770
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 3: had kids, Wife and I agreed we would treat our

771
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 3: boys and girls the same when it came to bodily functions,

772
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: i e. We'd make sure boys would be comfortable going

773
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 3: to her with questions or problems if I wasn't around,

774
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 3: and vice versa. And over the years we would keep

775
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,760
Speaker 3: up with age appropriate literature so we'd be qually informed.

776
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 3: Just so happened we only end girls. I love that.

777
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 2: I love that.

778
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 3: I absolutely think both parents should be informed and ready

779
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 3: to talk about either experience. I think it's helpful for like,

780
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,760
Speaker 3: you know, like a girl to talk to her mom

781
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 3: about an experience that is shared, or like a boy

782
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 3: to talk to his father. But I think both parents

783
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 3: should absolutely be educated.

784
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 2: And yeah you know, yep, And you can go to

785
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 2: our classes where we explain how to talk to your

786
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,479
Speaker 2: kids about it, hosted by Dakota and Keon Oh my gosh,

787
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 2: where they will teach you how to talk about the

788
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 2: birds and the bees with your child.

789
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 3: That's crazy. I don't want that.

790
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, sorry, it's the Coden scene.

791
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 4: You know what.

792
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 2: I trust Keon ok Keon.

793
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 3: To do it.

794
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: It's cod and Sam.

795
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 3: Then, around ten or so, when they started wanting more

796
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 3: detailed explanations of where babies come from and such, we

797
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 3: always conducted such conversations as a team, making it clear

798
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 3: to each of them they could count on either of us.

799
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 3: That being said, there have been some things which I

800
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 3: never took part in. For example, the nineteen year old

801
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 3: never asked me to take her bra shopping, that was

802
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 3: all wife. She did, however, occasionally ask me to pick

803
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 3: up tampons or such in the years before she went

804
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 3: to college.

805
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 2: That's crazy. Also, my mom said that she gave me

806
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 2: the talk when I was five and like would always

807
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: like not mention it, but like explain it to me.

808
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, I did not even remember that.

809
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 2: I remember I blocked it all out.

810
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 3: Dude, my parents gave me the talk like last year,

811
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 3: and I was like, this is far too late.

812
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 4: Wait, didn't because we went to Catholic school, didn't or

813
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 4: like private Catholic school or didn't they like go to

814
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 4: that class with you or like did your mom go

815
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 4: did you not have that?

816
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 3: I didn't have a class.

817
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 4: It wasn't like a class. It was like a specific

818
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 4: like after school, like one of.

819
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: Those No, I know what you're talking about.

820
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 4: I had one of those like the girls the girls

821
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 4: party there went to one room and the boy's side

822
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 4: went to their room and like you need an adult

823
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 4: and like it talks about you know, puberty and like.

824
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 3: No, we had well we had like we had like

825
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: you know, spicy d but like it was it was

826
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 3: like about like we had classes to learn about our

827
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 3: bodies and stuff, but like it was mostly anything to

828
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 3: do with nice.

829
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 2: Five of like when a mom and dad loves each

830
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 2: other they have a kid, not like this is where

831
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: this thing goes to that and the functions of it. It's

832
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 2: just sort of like this is what married people like,

833
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: have children, they create, they have they you know what

834
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 2: kind of sense. But I don't remember.

835
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 3: I think there's age appropriate ways to talk about.

836
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 4: It that day. That was a weird day, yeah, because

837
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 4: I like going on.

838
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 2: But how did that talk go with my parents? Did

839
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 2: they explain how it all works?

840
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 3: No, they started to say Sophia, and I went, I

841
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 3: don't need you.

842
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 2: I'm twenty two, don't figure it out. Guys, why are

843
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,320
Speaker 2: you station now?

844
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 3: Because I had gotten my first boyfriend, and they well

845
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 3: I was twenty three, I guess, and they were like

846
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 3: so I was like, I don't know.

847
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it was like fifth grade, fifth or

848
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 4: sixth grade. Yeah, Like it was a very like old timing,

849
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 4: not old, but it was very late nineties early two

850
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 4: thousands video.

851
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 3: I think I learned things mostly from my friends, like

852
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 3: in around like fourth fifth grade, just my friends would

853
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 3: be talking about it. They'd be like, yeah, it's this,

854
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 3: did you know that? And that's how I learned everything.

855
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 2: The blurry spot, Yeah, the blurry spot.

856
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 3: Ummm, No, twelve year old did not want to wait

857
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,479
Speaker 3: to tell me. It happened right after she got home

858
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 3: from school on a half day. Wife works ten hour shifts,

859
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 3: so she wouldn't have been there, as I said in

860
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 3: my original post, for another four hours. Twelve year old

861
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 3: has always been closer to wife than me. Nineteen year

862
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 3: old was closer to me than wife, but I was

863
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 3: who was available. I'm sure that if we'd both been around,

864
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 3: twelve year old would have gone to her mom. I

865
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,360
Speaker 3: wasn't trying to claim the dialogue was verbatim what we said.

866
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 3: My memory isn't that good, but the general tone is there,

867
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 3: and some of it I did, in fact remember word

868
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 3: for work. So after a few days, things around the

869
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 3: house went back to normal. Wife cooled off, twelve year

870
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 3: old began to talk to her again, and they didn't

871
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 3: appear to have any issues, except that twelve year old

872
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 3: began coming to me more often about things instead of

873
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 3: her mom, because you have shown her that you are

874
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 3: a trusted adult. Wife obviously noticed, as they'd been very

875
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 3: close before this, and was hurt, but said nothing. I mean, girl,

876
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 3: if you betray your daughter's drust, what's gonna happen? I

877
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 3: guess she figured she deserved it. Finally, one day after

878
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 3: I got back from taking twelve year old to school,

879
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 3: Wife asked if twelve year old was still angry with her.

880
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 3: I said I didn't think so, and wife just kind

881
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 3: of deflated. She looked so miserable that I actually got

882
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,839
Speaker 3: worried and asked if she was still angry. Wife said no,

883
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 3: then admitted that she effed up and gotten two into

884
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 3: the concept of what others have been calling a menstruation celebration,

885
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 3: which is a great phrase it even rhymes. Said she'd

886
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 3: been so focused on making sure twelve year old had

887
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 3: a positive experience that she brushed aside her reluctance to

888
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 3: take part. And in my wife's defense, twelve year old

889
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 3: regularly does this. She'll say she isn't looking forward to

890
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 3: doing something, but if she pushes past her shyness and

891
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 3: takes part, nearly always has a good time.

892
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 2: That's every twelve year old girl, every twelve year old.

893
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 3: So wife had thought this was just another example of

894
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 3: twelve year old doing that and didn't take it seriously.

895
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 3: Then wife said something which threw me for a loop.

896
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 3: She asked me if I thought twelve year old hated her.

897
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 3: Now I was stun and automatically replied of course not.

898
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 3: She's just and then I kind of trailed off because

899
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 3: I didn't really know what to say. Upset was what

900
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 3: I finally settle on. Wife was quiet. Then I asked

901
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 3: her why she'd been so insistent, since she hadn't tried

902
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 3: to do this for nineteen year old. No drama there

903
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 3: nineteen year old daughters at thirteen while they were out shopping.

904
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 3: It was handled before they even left them all, she said.

905
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 3: When nineteen year old started, it was just such a

906
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 3: busy day that she didn't really have any time to

907
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 3: think about it beyond quick, let's get to the bathroom

908
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 3: so I can help. And it wasn't until after this

909
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 3: that wife really thought about her own first, which basically

910
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 3: consisted of her being told virtually nothing before Anne by

911
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 3: her emotionally manipulative mother. They've been no contact for fifteen years,

912
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 3: barely being twelve when it happened, and once she did

913
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 3: go to her mom only being handed a box of

914
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 3: pads and warned not to get pregnant.

915
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 4: Ouch, you know, the times were different.

916
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 3: I yeah, I understand where this mom's coming from. She

917
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,839
Speaker 3: didn't do the right thing, but it was coming from

918
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 3: a good place.

919
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, always agree you you tell them with the resources

920
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 2: that you have.

921
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 3: Nothing more was ever said about it between them. My

922
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 3: wife had to learn nearly everything from a friend's mom. Yeah,

923
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 3: that old woman is a piece of work, but there

924
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: is a little bit left to the story.

925
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: Hey it's sam og host. We get it back to

926
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

927
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show.

928
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 3: Do you have any final thoughts?

929
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 2: Happy family. I love that we are able to realize

930
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 2: in this family that we're not perfect.

931
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 3: I think she over corrected. I think the mom said

932
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 3: my mom never did anything, and then I'm gonna really

933
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 3: make this a special moment.

934
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 2: Doctor dufin Smirtz.

935
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 3: She differed, Yeah, exactly. She's like, I just want to

936
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 3: make this a really special moment because my mom never

937
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 3: did anything for mine, and then overcorrected. And I think, honestly,

938
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 3: just go to your daughter and say that you're a human.

939
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: I think, you know, kids see their parents as not

940
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 3: these perfect people, but like as people who are supposed

941
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 3: to be perfect. And I think if you come to

942
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: them and say like, hey, I made a mistake. I

943
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 3: should have listened to you. I'm really sorry I hurt

944
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 3: your feelings and betrayed your trust. I won't do that again,

945
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 3: or I'll try and I'll try not to do that

946
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 3: in the future and just apologize.

947
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's that meme where you're like when we were

948
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 4: all kids and you saw like a twenty five year

949
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,919
Speaker 4: old like, wow, they had all figured out everything. Yeah,

950
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 4: and then we hit that. You're like, oh man, and

951
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 4: how kids are looking at us? Oh man?

952
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 3: Yeah that's crazy.

953
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 2: What would my brothers think of me? Do you think

954
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 2: I got it all figured out?

955
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 3: No? Okidding?

956
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 2: I wonder like Noah Rally's just in the lands of

957
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 2: the fruits and nuts and he he don't know what

958
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 2: he's doing out there.

959
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, they probably do. They probably look up to you.

960
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pick these green veins.

961
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 3: They're gonna bring you pretty moon.

962
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,240
Speaker 2: Who knows? So true.

963
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 3: Wife was determined she wouldn't behave like that towards twelve

964
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 3: year old when it happened, but as events show, she

965
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 3: basically went too far in the other direction. Then she

966
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 3: asked me what I thought she could do to fix this.

967
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 3: I told her that the truth twelve year old probably

968
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 3: wasn't to feel comfortable confiding in her again for a while,

969
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 3: but if she really wanted to apologize, she should tell

970
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 3: twelve year old what she just told me, and so

971
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 3: she did. Wife went to pick twelve year old up

972
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 3: from school, and when they got home, I saw they'd

973
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 3: both been crying, but also seemed happier.

974
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 2: Yay.

975
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 3: Turned out I wasn't quite right, and twelve year old

976
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 3: had still been harboring some resentment towards wife well of

977
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 3: course yet for trying to push her into the party.

978
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 3: But after hearing wife's story, twelve year old decided to

979
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 3: forgive her, only asking that wife promised not to do

980
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,720
Speaker 3: something like that again. And two months later this happened

981
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,320
Speaker 3: to May. Things between them seemed to be back to normal.

982
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 3: Maybe not the most exciting resolution, but I don't think

983
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 3: twelve year old is going to hold a grudge over

984
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 3: this or as permanently damaged their relationship. And some final

985
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 3: comments to finish the story off comment one, I think

986
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 3: your wife learned a valuable lesson and your kid will

987
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 3: probably be okay with her. Albeit this might be one

988
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 3: memory she won't look back upon very fondly, but she

989
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 3: might look back upon that memory of talking to her

990
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 3: mom about her her own experiences, like it might be

991
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 3: the day that I had the period wasn't that great.

992
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 3: But the day that my mom came and apologized and

993
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 3: we talked about our experiences together and bonded.

994
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 2: This this feels like an episode of like a TV show.

995
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I see, and then at the end, this

996
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 3: is like the wrapping up and like, hey, kiddo, I'm

997
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 3: sorry I didn't listen to the house.

998
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it's a part of growing up too,

999
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 4: like especially being a parent. I'm not a parent, we're

1000
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 4: not parents, but your parent. Our parents embarrassed us sometimes,

1001
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:31,800
Speaker 4: you know. I think it's a part of being a parent,

1002
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 4: and like that bond like not doing I'm not saying

1003
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 4: bully them or do it all the time. It was like, oh,

1004
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 4: you know, I'm a dad, like being an awkward dad,

1005
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 4: you know. And I feel like that was this.

1006
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 3: You know, parents are humans, they make mistakes.

1007
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 4: Were young and we're learning. Yeah they were young ones.

1008
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 4: We were young ones.

1009
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,879
Speaker 3: My mother was very supportive of periods. We don't need

1010
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,240
Speaker 3: to be a shamed type. But it's such a change,

1011
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,280
Speaker 3: such a stupid thing too. I remember being so upset

1012
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 3: that I'd have to endure this crap for the next

1013
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 3: forty years or so, and the idea that I would

1014
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,760
Speaker 3: have to buy period stuff on my own. I didn't,

1015
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 3: but I thought that at one point as an adult,

1016
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 3: I'd have to. At that point, Oh, this is a commentary.

1017
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 3: At that point in time, it seems so horrible. So

1018
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 3: everyone will know that I hated even the periods being mentioned.

1019
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 3: It's definitely something that is natural, but due to age

1020
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:24,399
Speaker 3: when it happens is a very fragile period. Anyway, even

1021
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 3: in families where it's natural and normal, I think girls

1022
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 3: are overwhelmed. Yeah, it's like, oh my god, I'm going

1023
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 3: to be bleeding for the rest of my life.

1024
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 2: Now. Oh no, not until the rest of your life.

1025
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, not the rest of your life, until you

1026
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 3: know a little.

1027
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 2: Bit old woman knows more.

1028
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, when I was a child, I thought I'd

1029
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:43,320
Speaker 3: be bleeding forever.

1030
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 4: There there are people, it does happen. There's you know,

1031
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 4: I mean, some scenarios like that, but.

1032
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 3: They last different time periods for everyone.

1033
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 2: But when I was.

1034
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 3: What I said, but they last different periods.

1035
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I've the world was not going to exist after

1036
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 2: a certain period and it'd all just be a white space.

1037
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 2: That's what I think.

1038
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 4: Twenty twelve was real.

1039
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 2: It was a great movie. I love that movie Nobles.

1040
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 3: I never really had to go through like the what

1041
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,479
Speaker 3: is going on thing because I got it much later

1042
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 3: than I think a lot of my peers, Like I

1043
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 3: think everyone was getting at twelve, ask what age fifteen? Yeah,

1044
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 3: so I just started high school and every so everyone

1045
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 3: already had it, and I was like, well, here it is.

1046
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 2: Wow.

1047
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 3: It was kind of nice though, because I didn't have

1048
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 3: to deal with it. I actually I didn't really want it.

1049
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 3: I didn't really want it to come. I was like,

1050
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 3: because I was everyone else.

1051
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 2: You didn't have to deal with it.

1052
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 3: Until oh yeah, I didn't have to deal with it

1053
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 3: when everyone else was.

1054
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 2: Dealing I thought, like when it happened, I didn't have

1055
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 2: to deal with it, I didn't have to deal with it.

1056
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 3: I did have to deal with it, but prior to that,

1057
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 3: everyone else was dealing with it. I was like, that

1058
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 3: sucks for you guys. And then it yeah, but it comes. Yeah,

1059
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 3: can he be just fifteen?

1060
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: So lucky?

1061
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 3: It was nice. It was nice, like not having to

1062
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 3: deal with that in middle school.

1063
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 2: Great.

1064
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, you were like, yeah, I feel so.

1065
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 3: I know, like I knew one of my family friends

1066
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 3: she got it at like eight, which I'm like, whoa, Yeah,

1067
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 3: she got it really young. Yeah, but that's the end

1068
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,959
Speaker 3: of that story. Folks, don't be afraid to talk about

1069
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 3: periods with your kids.

1070
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 2: That's right natural.

1071
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 3: But also don't throw period parties if they don't want it.

1072
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 4: I just I don't think you throw Maybe, like I

1073
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 4: feel like for the mom and the daughter, do that.

1074
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, go get her like a little tree.

1075
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get her some ice cream, you know, watch

1076
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 4: a movie, cry it out.

1077
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get some chocolate, take a bath.

1078
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 4: I think that sounds nice. I agree if I had

1079
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 4: a daughter and like, okay, let's do you want to

1080
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 4: do that?

1081
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1082
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 3: I remember the first time that my mom went and

1083
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 3: she she got me bras, except I it was a

1084
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 3: whole thing. I didn't know. I refuse to go to

1085
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 3: the store with her. So she went and got me

1086
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 3: training bras because I was crying, and she brought them

1087
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,919
Speaker 3: back to me, and that was. That was a nice moment.

1088
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 2: She was don't even know if I could have handled

1089
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,360
Speaker 2: having this sister, Oh my gosh, like why are you

1090
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 2: crying all the time?

1091
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 3: Why are you crying? That was that was pre pre

1092
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 3: the period, so still it wasn't.

1093
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. Well, I mean my cousin Olivia, she

1094
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 2: kind of was around. She was kind of like a sister,

1095
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 2: but like I didn't have to live with her, thank goodness.

1096
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, oh dang. I couldn't do it. I

1097
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 2: couldn't do it. I could not. I don't know what

1098
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 2: i'd do, Like, oh, you're so emotional, you need so

1099
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,760
Speaker 2: many things way too.

1100
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 3: I don't know, you figure it out.

1101
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 4: I do remember that time when my sister first had

1102
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 4: it and boil boy as a teenage boy going through

1103
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 4: that fiasco. Oh my god, I was like, I'm going

1104
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 4: to walk away. Yeah I don't know, but my dad's

1105
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:43,520
Speaker 4: the same things like I'm going to walk away.

1106
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have my dad.

1107
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,480
Speaker 2: Was funny I see in the episode guys and stream Yeah.

1108
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 3: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe you

1109
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 3: and see it.

1110
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 4: Borrow