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Speaker 1: I don't think I can handle any more kids. Finally,

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Speaker 1: something we can agree on, dead ass. Hey, I'm Cadine

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Speaker 1: and we're the ellis Is. You may know us from

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Speaker 1: posting funny videos with our voice and reading each other

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Speaker 1: publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you

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Speaker 1: need therapy most days. Wow. And one more important thing

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Speaker 1: to mention, we're married. We are. We created this podcast

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Speaker 1: to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics,

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Speaker 1: things most folks don't want to talk about through the

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Speaker 1: lens of a millennium married couple. Dead As is the

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Speaker 1: term that we say every day. So when we say

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Speaker 1: dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth,

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Speaker 1: and nothing but the truth. We're about to take philow

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Speaker 1: Talk to a whole new level. Dead Ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: This story takes me back to last week when the

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Speaker 1: theme was in the hospital. All right. I remember in

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Speaker 1: one day, I had to wake up in the morning,

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Speaker 1: take Cairo and Cas to school, come back, go to

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Speaker 1: the hospital, check on you, make sure that Dakota had

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Speaker 1: the things he needs. Drive back, make sure that Jackson

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Speaker 1: got prepared for basketball practice. Drive back to pass you

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Speaker 1: some stuff that you needed from home. I think I'll

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Speaker 1: take you some food. Drive back home to actually take

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Speaker 1: Jackson to basketball practice. When I came back, Cairo said

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Speaker 1: to me, Daddy, do you have time to work out

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Speaker 1: with me too? Went downstairs to work out with Cairo.

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Speaker 1: I'm down there, Cas goes, hey, Dad, I think I

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Speaker 1: want to work out too. So now I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: balance the two of them working. Get a text message,

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Speaker 1: hey babe, when you come back tonight, make sure you

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Speaker 1: bring X y Z. By the time I got back

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Speaker 1: to you that night, I realized I do shit for myself,

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Speaker 1: and I realized the coda. Only seven days old, I

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Speaker 1: had ran back and forth so many times from the

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Speaker 1: hospital for stuff that the kids needed, and I realized

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Speaker 1: that I have a whole another child that's gonna need

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Speaker 1: my attention. And in that moment, I realized, like yo,

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Speaker 1: for the next eighteen years, for the next eighteen years,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have between four children and a wife y

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Speaker 1: all the weeker to the of the road. Still like

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Speaker 1: kids go, It's it's very natural actually belong to them.

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Speaker 1: That's funny because when I think about your story time,

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Speaker 1: of course, it was in a high pressure situation when

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Speaker 1: we have the whole hospital stint and whatnot. However, if

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Speaker 1: you were to remove that hospital stint, it would still

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Speaker 1: be replaced with all the things on a random Tuesday

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Speaker 1: that we have going on. Right, not to mention, we

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Speaker 1: were just talking about the fact that we have four

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Speaker 1: boys who will be involved in four different activities, sports

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Speaker 1: or whatever. What is that going to look like when

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Speaker 1: they all have to be at practice at whatever time

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Speaker 1: in different locations, or they have games or events at

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Speaker 1: different times of different locations. It's literally going to be

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Speaker 1: like a whole like spread situation where you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to go there, You're gonna have to go there, We're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to bribe a family member to go to

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Speaker 1: an event. Like. There's gonna be so many things happening

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Speaker 1: that I just honestly feel like for is it for

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Speaker 1: as the CAP. I don't foresee myself being able to

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Speaker 1: be the quality I don't see. I don't five c

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Speaker 1: or sixty, I don't I don't foresee myself being the

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Speaker 1: quality parent that I aim to be if we were

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Speaker 1: to have any more children, Like, I just feel like,

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Speaker 1: whatever souls, these beautiful souls that were supposed to be

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Speaker 1: here with us, this is who the Lord has blessed

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Speaker 1: us with. These are the children who have chosen us.

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Speaker 1: I cannot dilute or water down who I want to

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Speaker 1: be as a mother. That was always a fair of

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Speaker 1: mine that I would not be able to be a

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Speaker 1: quality parent if I had too many children. Now that's debatable.

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Speaker 1: How many are too many. It depends on the person's circumstances,

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Speaker 1: the couple circumstances. It depends on what you desire to

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Speaker 1: be as a parent. But I always knew that the

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Speaker 1: person that I wanted to be as a mother to

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Speaker 1: each child, and to be able to give each child

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Speaker 1: the time that they deserve and each child the attention

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Speaker 1: that they deserved, that I just can't go. So I

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Speaker 1: got a question. I'm going to ask the question when

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Speaker 1: we come back from break, because we gotta take a break,

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Speaker 1: pay some bills. But I have a question once we

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Speaker 1: go through the you know, the whole show. There's a

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Speaker 1: question that they always ask women. I'm gonna ask you

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Speaker 1: at the very end of the show. I think it

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Speaker 1: is okay, all right, take a break, gonna take a break,

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Speaker 1: but response you okay, alright, So we're bad guys. Moving

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Speaker 1: into the topic of the show. We have to recognize

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Speaker 1: that it is a new year. This is the season

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Speaker 1: six finale, but it's not the end. It's the beginning.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's the beginning of the year, but in

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Speaker 1: preparation for the beginning of the year, I'm in preparation

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Speaker 1: for the beginning of the next eighteen years of my life.

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Speaker 1: For the next of my life, I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: taking care of a little person. It's the starting over

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Speaker 1: for me. Like I was coming out of that. We

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Speaker 1: were out of diapers, we were out of baby bags.

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Speaker 1: Like I went to pack Dacota's bag recently and I

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Speaker 1: was just like, wait a second, I'm here again with stuff.

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Speaker 1: They're just always stuff to be trucking around. Um. And

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Speaker 1: it's not a complaint. It's just the realization that here

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Speaker 1: we are again, you know. UM. But we're loving it.

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Speaker 1: He's great, the boys are great. It's just really trying

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Speaker 1: to um answer the question, which of course everyone always asks.

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Speaker 1: You have two kids, when's the third, you have three,

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Speaker 1: when's the fourth, you have fourth, when's the fifth? You

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Speaker 1: have all boys? When's the girl? Like? Um, the questions

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Speaker 1: never seemed to end. But I think it's easy to answer.

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Speaker 1: They were asking me when you were pregnant if we

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Speaker 1: were gonna go right back for five because we had

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Speaker 1: announced that we were having another boy, and now I

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Speaker 1: was gonna say this question. I want to ask you, now,

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Speaker 1: do you feel in your spirit that you're done? So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fair. I'm gonna be honest, very honest,

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Speaker 1: probably the most honest that I've ever been, based on

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Speaker 1: the pregnancies that I've had, right, I would say, for

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Speaker 1: the most part, textbook. For the most part, I enjoyed

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Speaker 1: pregnancies and all that, particularly even Dakota Um, which we

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Speaker 1: spoke about in previous episodes. Because of the environment we

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Speaker 1: were in, the space that we've been in, I would

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Speaker 1: have another child, or would have had another child. I

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Speaker 1: would have I would h I would have been open

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Speaker 1: to maybe one more, right, But the thing that has

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Speaker 1: changed that for me drastically was my episode that drove

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Speaker 1: me to the hospital with the postpartum preclamua. And I

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Speaker 1: say that because if I were to get pardon again,

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Speaker 1: there's probably a greater chance that I would have full

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Speaker 1: blown preclampsa in a pregnancy. But that answered the question.

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Speaker 1: So you don't feel like you're done having kids? You

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Speaker 1: just feel like you're done having pregnant, being pregnancy, being pregnant. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I see what you mean. Yeah, No, it's probably both

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Speaker 1: because then I also said you said I probably would

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Speaker 1: have had a fifth. But then also I think about

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Speaker 1: what would be required, what would be required to then

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Speaker 1: raise a fifth or entertain a fifth, or to have

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Speaker 1: to divide time between five children. You know. The question

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Speaker 1: was did you feel like you were done? And based

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Speaker 1: on your answer, sounds like you don't feel like you're done.

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Speaker 1: You feel like, SO feel I've done being pregnant, right,

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Speaker 1: So I would you have another child? How I feel

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Speaker 1: about surregacy either for myself personally, so probably not. So

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Speaker 1: I guess that the answer is no, I would not

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Speaker 1: have any more children. I am done carrying children. Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm done. I think you're I'm done. I think I

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Speaker 1: can say I'm done. Yeah. I guess I had to

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Speaker 1: decipher how to answer the question only because there's a

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Speaker 1: difference between being pregnant again and then wanting another child.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm done having I'm done. I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: I think I'm done having children. I'm done being pregnant

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Speaker 1: because I feel like four is my cap Four is

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Speaker 1: where I don't foresee myself being able to pour anything

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Speaker 1: more into any other children. I don't think it will

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Speaker 1: be fear to the children we already have, plus another child,

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Speaker 1: meaning a fifth child, to be able to give them

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Speaker 1: the quality mother that I aim to be. Does that

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Speaker 1: make sense? It makes sense, does make sense. But I

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Speaker 1: do feel like part of that comes from us just

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Speaker 1: having a baby, and you're pouring all of this energy

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Speaker 1: into da coda and being exhausted, so you kind of

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Speaker 1: feel like, you know what I'm saying right now, But

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Speaker 1: I do think that could change if a year from

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Speaker 1: now we're in a routine Cairo and Kats are taking

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Speaker 1: care of and everything is fine. I feel like you

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Speaker 1: may say, Babe, no, I don't know. Maybe if I

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Speaker 1: was younger, Maybe if I, like we were both younger,

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Speaker 1: so we had like another child between Jackson and Cairo,

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Speaker 1: then maybe you know what I mean. Because I'm also

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Speaker 1: no spring chicken, it may be clear to me that

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Speaker 1: I am over thirty five, and you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And it's like carrying a fourth baby would be a

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Speaker 1: lot now to just on my body and my uterus,

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Speaker 1: and it would just be a lot, if it would

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Speaker 1: just be I'm not advocating for surregacy for you. But

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Speaker 1: I'm saying a question was did you feel like in

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Speaker 1: your spirit you were done? And some people say that,

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Speaker 1: And the reason why I asked that is because you

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Speaker 1: don't feel complete till you've either reached that number of

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Speaker 1: reach what you see, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So it's like, which I kind of sturd passed my

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Speaker 1: number because my number of my mind was three, So

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Speaker 1: having four, I'm like, okay, like this is max, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. But I think the question is

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Speaker 1: too full, which when you asked it that way, it

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Speaker 1: makes are you done with pregnancies? I would say, yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm done with pregnancies. And I think part of it

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Speaker 1: became kind of almost forced on me too, because I

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Speaker 1: feel like it was confirmation, like the Good Lord was saying, girl,

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Speaker 1: this is it for you because I'm gonna throat this

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Speaker 1: little preclaims the situation there for you. Um, just to

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Speaker 1: let you know that potentially in the future, if you

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Speaker 1: do this again, you might have more complications. Like that's

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Speaker 1: just what I That's like a message that I feel

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Speaker 1: like I got. Well, have you ever heard of the

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Speaker 1: law of least resistance? Remind me what that is, and

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Speaker 1: it's the law that you don't go against the universe

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Speaker 1: or things that have happened, and you let you let

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Speaker 1: what happens in your life happen as if the ecosystem

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Speaker 1: of life happens. For example, if you look at nature,

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Speaker 1: nature flows, the circle of life flows, and it doesn't

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Speaker 1: get interrupted by things. It just happens. Right, So if

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Speaker 1: you're aligned, your line eat gazelles, gazells eat the grass.

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Speaker 1: What I'm saying, the lines die, they turned into the grass.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's like there's a circle of life just

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Speaker 1: like's on the line king. So the law of least

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Speaker 1: resistance say, when living your life as a human, you

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Speaker 1: don't try to create your own path against the universe.

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Speaker 1: So for example, when you just said, my body is

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Speaker 1: telling me I'm done having pregnancies, so that means I'm

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Speaker 1: done having children. But we know with modern science, you

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Speaker 1: could have or we could do something else and still

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Speaker 1: try to have another child and use science to fight

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Speaker 1: against pre clamps. Here if that's a possibility, or do

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Speaker 1: you say, you know what my body let me know,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And I know a lot

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Speaker 1: of times men or humans want to use their will

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Speaker 1: to create the life that they say they want, because

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Speaker 1: that's what makes us different from animals. But also I've

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Speaker 1: learned over time that if you go with the flow

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Speaker 1: of the universe, which is typically the same thing as

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Speaker 1: saying if you go with God, your life will be

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Speaker 1: a lot easier. So your messages God is telling you, yes,

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Speaker 1: I feel like God is telling me that I'm done

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Speaker 1: like this is it's because it was a thing that

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Speaker 1: I was on my mind, like, Okay, at what point

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Speaker 1: are you done? You always hear women say I know

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Speaker 1: that I'm done because I just know that I'm done.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it's after one, sometimes it's after two. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's an experience, it's their labor is to delivery, it's

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Speaker 1: something that made them like a hard no on more.

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Speaker 1: And for me, I kind of feel like I just

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Speaker 1: look at my children every day and I just love

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Speaker 1: each and every one of them so much that part

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Speaker 1: of me feels crazy to feel like someday I would

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Speaker 1: I'd have ten children if I could have tenial you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, just because I love who my

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Speaker 1: children are. Um, but it's realistic, I think for me, No,

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Speaker 1: it's not realistic for me. And if there was this

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Speaker 1: on the fence feeling that I've had, I would think

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Speaker 1: that that particular situation just let me know that, k

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Speaker 1: you're done with pregnancies and children because I feel like

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Speaker 1: my body had been able and has been able to,

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Speaker 1: you know, easily for the most part, carry for beautiful

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Speaker 1: children and and birth them. Um. So this just might

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Speaker 1: be the end for me based off of that experience.

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Speaker 1: And this is this wasn't even on topic. This is

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Speaker 1: an impromptu conversation that I'm having with my wife right now.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you would have been done in

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Speaker 1: your spirit? How we had a girl? And do you

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Speaker 1: feel like you're missing anything because we don't have a daughter? Um? No,

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Speaker 1: Because remember after Kaz, we'd had the conversation about potentially

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Speaker 1: having another child, and I was kind of content with three.

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Speaker 1: I was, I was more than content. Actually, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I was happy with my three boys, and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm one of three. Year one of three. It felt

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Speaker 1: very natural, and then we got into this routine with

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Speaker 1: our three boys. There was Jackson, Cairo Katz. I've never

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Speaker 1: felt a deficit not having a daughter. I don't know why. Um,

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Speaker 1: would it have been nice? Yeah, it had been cute

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Speaker 1: to dress up with a little girl. Yeah, um, But

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Speaker 1: I feel like at the same time, God gave me

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Speaker 1: exactly what he knew I could handle. He knew what

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Speaker 1: I was equipped for, he knew what we were equipped

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Speaker 1: for as parents. I look at you and the stellar,

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Speaker 1: amazing man that you are today, and I look at

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Speaker 1: how you raise our boys and how involved you are

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Speaker 1: on a daily basis. And no knock on myself, but

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Speaker 1: I almost feel like he did that on purpose because

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Speaker 1: you're such a stellar man that we need more other

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Speaker 1: men if you're not a beast of a woman. But

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Speaker 1: at the same time mother a daughter to see how

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Speaker 1: of course not yeah, I wouldn't know how a parent

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Speaker 1: a daughter. But it's just like, man, like, the world

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Speaker 1: is in need of some amazing man. And not to

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Speaker 1: say that amazing men don't need amazing mothers, because because

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Speaker 1: they do, they do. But I don't feel like you're

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Speaker 1: giving yourself enough credit. I really don't. I feel like

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Speaker 1: you're you're using me as an example because we get

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Speaker 1: to see it. But I feel like if people got

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Speaker 1: a chance to see you be a mom to a daughter,

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Speaker 1: they would say the same thing. I mean, you're you're

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Speaker 1: an amazing mom to our sons. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: and you're an amazing woman, So I think that the

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Speaker 1: example you said as a woman would also be the

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Speaker 1: same example our daughter would see. Right For that, I guess, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's one of those things that I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it feels like, so I don't necessarily feel the

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Speaker 1: deficit um. And I guess that probably is also my

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Speaker 1: way of justifying it, saying like, well, you're a great man,

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Speaker 1: and we got men that were raising so you know,

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Speaker 1: here we are. Um. But to answer your question, I

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Speaker 1: don't feel deficit, and that maybe because I don't have

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Speaker 1: that UM. If we had a girl this time around,

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Speaker 1: and we had the three boys and a girl, I

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Speaker 1: don't think my level of done this would have been

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Speaker 1: more or less per se, because they probably would have

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Speaker 1: been the question of like, oh, well, she would she

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Speaker 1: would would be nice if she had a sister, you know,

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Speaker 1: where everybody would have a brother and a sister. If

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Speaker 1: I had two girls and three boys, you know, so

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Speaker 1: there's always going to be that lingering question, well how

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Speaker 1: about you though? How about you though? Because you know

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Speaker 1: that that has always been the thing Devout has always

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Speaker 1: been talking about this girl that he wants to have

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Speaker 1: in the relationship you would want to have with a daughter.

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Speaker 1: So how do you feel now that we have four boys?

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Speaker 1: And where does that deficit life for you? Still? We'll

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Speaker 1: have a declaration, and I don't think it's going to

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Speaker 1: be the declaration that people are expecting from me. I

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Speaker 1: thought finally having a daughter would be where I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I feel complete. I literally felt that right. But we

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Speaker 1: had Dakota, and I feel like this is where I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to be. Like a nickname has been created for me,

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Speaker 1: the Kingmaker. I feel complete and whole with that name.

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Speaker 1: I look at Dakota and there's no level of disappointment

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Speaker 1: like when I even the idea of another boy and

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Speaker 1: walking down the street with my wife and all four

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Speaker 1: corners covered by my son's. To me is like, it

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Speaker 1: seems like this is not a knock on having a daughter.

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Speaker 1: But I thought that that was going to be a

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Speaker 1: missing void until I had four boys. And now I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is the dopest thing that could have ever happened

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Speaker 1: to me, And I don't feel like I'm missing anything

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Speaker 1: at all. And the thing is even that is as

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Speaker 1: aint men to me because I was like I thought

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Speaker 1: I was gonna want to have another child. But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not content, I feel complete. I feel I feel

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Speaker 1: like I seriously feel like, what would it have been

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Speaker 1: like to have a daughter. I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: would even be able to know how to help raise

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Speaker 1: a girl, like the same doubts you have. I maybe

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Speaker 1: God gave me exactly what I was supposed to have.

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Speaker 1: And I'm excited about the next eighteen years. Like, and

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Speaker 1: I know people are gonna be probably gonna be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I thought I really wanted a daughter. I thought that

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Speaker 1: I wanted a daughter. I thought that having a daughter

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Speaker 1: was going to be the thing that wanted me to

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Speaker 1: end having kids. But no, yeah, like I'm Jackson, Cairo Cas, Dakota,

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Speaker 1: Like these are my my guys, Like these are like,

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't even like even thinking about it

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00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 1: is just making me smile. Have four sons, for I

339
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Speaker 1: have four sons. I have four perfectly healthy, beautiful sons

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Speaker 1: that I could groom and give the world to and

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Speaker 1: watch them just take the world by storm. And I'm

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Speaker 1: just excited about it. And I'm excited that you came

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Speaker 1: out on the other end of those four pregnancies. Super healthy,

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Speaker 1: So I don't. I don't have No, there's nothing in

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Speaker 1: me right now to be like kan. And that's why

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Speaker 1: I was asking you because I wanted to see how

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Speaker 1: you feel about it, because I'm good, right, No, I

348
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 1: definitely I'm great. Definitely feel like I'm good. I guess

349
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Speaker 1: when when you just think about it as a woman

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Speaker 1: like pregnancies versus children, because like you said, there are

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Speaker 1: with modern science, ways to potentially have more children if

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Speaker 1: we really wanted to. Um, But I think on both realms,

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Speaker 1: I know I definitely don't want to be pregnant again.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be pregnting again. And I feel

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Speaker 1: like there's there's a cat for me on the number

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Speaker 1: of children that I want to be able to raise

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Speaker 1: because I want to be able to of equality experience

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Speaker 1: to all of my children. So safe to say, y'all

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00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: that we are done and we're looking forward to the

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Speaker 1: next eighteen years and beyond um looking forward to then

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Speaker 1: beyond those years, you know what I mean? With us

362
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Speaker 1: gonna look like for us when we're empty nesters. That's

363
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Speaker 1: gonna be a while from now. But um, I feel

364
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Speaker 1: like my next will never really be empty because as

365
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Speaker 1: a mom, of boys. I'm gonna be like, come back

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Speaker 1: whenever you're ready, you know what I mean, come back.

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Speaker 1: Boys leave and they go out and they get their

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Speaker 1: own family, and girls typically come back. Um, and when

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Speaker 1: you look at my house, my parents house, Yeah, your

370
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 1: sisters back home is back home. She's young, she's ten

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Speaker 1: years younger than us though. So and when Brian was

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Speaker 1: done with college, he came back home. But um, he

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Speaker 1: came to live with me. But it's difficult for boys

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Speaker 1: to live in a house with their father, like all

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Speaker 1: that coast on the men. So I can't foresee four

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Speaker 1: boys coming back home. And but what I can foresee

377
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 1: is my boys going out there and finding they are

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Speaker 1: versions of their of their mom to raise a family.

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Speaker 1: And I could see all of them having mad girls.

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Speaker 1: I would love that, Oh my god, I would love that.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just throwing out there that I'm vetting vetting

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Speaker 1: daughters in law, just so y'all know, you know, because

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Speaker 1: it ain't only any old body WoT come up in

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Speaker 1: here such a so you know, um, any friends that

385
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Speaker 1: have daughter. It's funny because we have friends that have

386
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 1: daughters and stuff like that. And I'm just like, I

387
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 1: got my eye on such and such such we can

388
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: arrange this situation or at least put them in the

389
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 1: same circles to play, put them in the same stand by.

390
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Speaker 1: What if they don't even like each other, I don't know.

391
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Speaker 1: They'll they'll figure it out, figure it out. It's wishful

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Speaker 1: thinking on my part, you know what I mean. I

393
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Speaker 1: know I won't be able to control that. But what

394
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 1: I do look forward to was raising these boys with

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Speaker 1: you with the great mindset that we are going to

396
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Speaker 1: instilling them certain values and certain you know, morals and

397
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 1: all that good stuff, UM, so that they'll be able

398
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Speaker 1: to go out there and make those decisions when the

399
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Speaker 1: time comes. You know what I mean. I have faith

400
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Speaker 1: in that, um and who they'll become. So all right, baby,

401
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 1: So let's talk about preparing for these next eighteen years

402
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: and beyond now that I think it's safe to say

403
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Speaker 1: that we're done bringing more children into this world. UM,

404
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,679
Speaker 1: what are some things that you want to experience as

405
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: a family. I think while they're still young, I'll answer to.

406
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,400
Speaker 1: But figure we interview each other a little bit and see, um,

407
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Speaker 1: if there's one thing I've learned about life. Listening to

408
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Speaker 1: Will Smith, he talked about laying a break, right, you

409
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: look at the wall. You don't try to create a wall,

410
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: because the thought of building a wall can be daunting.

411
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,199
Speaker 1: But every day you have to lay a break, and

412
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Speaker 1: you lay each break perfectly until you get a perfect wall.

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Speaker 1: When I think about our kids in our life, I

414
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: don't really focus on the wall. I don't really focus

415
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,119
Speaker 1: on the wall. I try to focus on each break.

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Speaker 1: Each break is a day, and and ultimately the year

417
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 1: becomes a small part of the wall. So initially, I

418
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 1: just want to focus on getting a schedule to where

419
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: we can be um parents to a newborn and not

420
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 1: take away from Jackson, Cairo, and cass because Jackson started

421
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: playing basketball and he enjoys that. I go to every

422
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: basketball practice. On top of that, UM filming, and I

423
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 1: have other things in the works. You and I have

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00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: other things in the work. I don't want to take

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00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: away from our our professional careers while having a newborn

426
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 1: and three kids. So initially, I just want to try

427
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: to find a way to create an experience where the

428
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 1: kids don't feel like they're left out. And I think

429
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 1: that maybe by building our village out here in Atlanta

430
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 1: a little bit more, you know, trying to find people

431
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 1: that we can rely on who we trust that can

432
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: help us maneuver. Um, having your parents here, both of

433
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 1: them now really helps because before it was just Mimi,

434
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 1: and that was Mimi and Papa. So if Mimi is,

435
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,479
Speaker 1: you know, doing something with Kats or taking him somewhere,

436
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 1: Poppa can do something with Kiro and I can make

437
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: sure I got Jackson, and then you have Dakota, and

438
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to keep as many adults as around

439
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: as we have kids to make sure each child feels

440
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: as if someone's always near them. So and initially that's

441
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 1: what it is. No, I like that. I like that's

442
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 1: definitely something that we felt we were lacking when we

443
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: moved to l A, which is where my mom came

444
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 1: with us. So now being in Georgia back east, even

445
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: just simple things like you know, um, Jackson's godmother, one

446
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: of my best friends, Christina, and her coming into town

447
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: for a weekend, like those are ways to pull people

448
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 1: in who we love and like you said, who we

449
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: trust to be around our kids, to also just be

450
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 1: our extended village, maybe not necessarily in our absence, but

451
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 1: just to love on them a little bit more. You know. Um,

452
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: I had heard the phrase or like I was like

453
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 1: a little quote that said like the days are long

454
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 1: with the years are short, and that told made me

455
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: cry maybe cry. And I saw it recently and it's

456
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: almost like, you know, God always sends little reminders to you,

457
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: or you're just scrolling through Instagram aimlessly, quote unquote, but

458
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: then you see something that really hits home. And it

459
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 1: was literally in the middle of me being up like

460
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 1: pumping one night and I was just scrolling through Instagram

461
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,400
Speaker 1: and it just put things in perspective for me, because

462
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: it's like people want to a pace to be over with,

463
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 1: right Like you think, like, what's this newborn face is

464
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: over with and I'll be able to sleep or you know,

465
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: once this phase is over with, I'll be able to

466
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: do that and not really sometimes relishing and living in

467
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 1: that moment. So you recently looked at me one morning,

468
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 1: I was just like staring at Dakota with like the

469
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: hard eyes, and he was just like, man, you seem

470
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: really or you were like, you just seem really um

471
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: in love with this baby this time around, and I'm

472
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I'm just trying to soak up this

473
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 1: moment and remember what this feels like, especially knowing too

474
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: now I think I got emotional because and knowing like

475
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: this is gonna be my last baby. So this is

476
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 1: like the last newborn phase, the last you know, the

477
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: smell of that baby, the last cry that I'm gonna hear.

478
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: Like this, I just want to live in those moments

479
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: and soak them up and take a couple of videos

480
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: just for my safe keeping, you know. Um. Like we said,

481
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: I'm not We're not gonna be putting out the blog

482
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 1: of the birth per se, but just having that for

483
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: myself to look back on our things that I want

484
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 1: to just really um enjoy um and enjoying different phases

485
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: with each child. Like Jackson, like said, it's going into basketball.

486
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: He's in his little preteen phase. He's into like to

487
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 1: his friends that he's made out here who come from

488
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: families that we've been able to get really close to recently. Um,

489
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,880
Speaker 1: So I want to also be invested in what excites

490
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: him and finding ways to be excited. So now I'm

491
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: learning more about basketball around watching it in my downtime,

492
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: so I know what to do. So I'm not having

493
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 1: those delayed reactions like I did with you in football,

494
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: you know, since I'm going to be a full blown

495
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: boy Mom, I need to start getting into the things

496
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 1: that they're interested in. So while they're young, I'm going

497
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: to make a conscious effort to be involved in the

498
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: things that they're in. Me and Kiro watch football highlights,

499
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 1: you know, Um, I watched his karate moves. He asked

500
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: me to find him a gymnastics class, like just little

501
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 1: things like that to make sure that they can feel like, wow,

502
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: Mom really relates to me on some level. It may

503
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: not be all the time. I know Mom is sometimes

504
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 1: going to be annoying, um when I teach them how

505
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: to do things that they need to be to be

506
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 1: self sufficient. But at the same time, I want to

507
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 1: be able to relate to them, So I want to

508
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: start that while they're young. Well, you know what I

509
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: also want to to forster is like a closeness between

510
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 1: them even though they ten five, four and fourteen days?

511
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: How many days? Two days? I want to force a

512
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,959
Speaker 1: bond between my boys where you when you look at them,

513
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: it's like I am my brother's keeper. You know, it

514
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: doesn't matter to me that Jackson is ten years the code,

515
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: the code is senior. I want them to be like

516
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: Y's my brother, you know. And I want to create

517
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 1: newer experiences of us doing things outside of our comfort zone.

518
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 1: I want to travel more in twenty twenty two. And

519
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 1: I know the code is young and he's a newborn

520
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,360
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but I don't care. I want

521
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: to create a stafe space where all of us as

522
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: a family can travel and experience things outside of the

523
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: United States, UM, and just experience the world differently to

524
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: change their perspective. You know. UM. One of my buddies, myself,

525
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 1: Vernon whose has as godfather, we always talked about living

526
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 1: beyond the front porch. And so many black boys and

527
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: girls only exist up until they're stoop because in a

528
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: in a way to protect them from the world, their

529
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,959
Speaker 1: parents often guard them by not letting them see passed

530
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: what's on their front stoop. And then you have other

531
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: black boys and girls who are just out there who

532
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: get to see only their community, and that creates what

533
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: their idea of the world is, where there's so much

534
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: more to this world than your neighborhood, your high school,

535
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 1: your you know, your country. The world is huge, and

536
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: sometimes their parents may not have the resources to be

537
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: able to provide those opportunities to them too. And I

538
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: just want to create a bond with them where they

539
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: can experience things together, so they can when they get older, say, hey,

540
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: remember when mom and dad took us here? Yeah, you

541
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. That it's true though I think

542
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,239
Speaker 1: about it because my mom and dad. UM, one thing

543
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,239
Speaker 1: they did with my brother and I, not as much

544
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: of my sister because she was ten years younger at

545
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: the time, but while my brother and I were younger,

546
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: being only three and a half years apart, we travel

547
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: to a different island every summer. Like that was my

548
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: mom's saying, family vacation, vacation, and we still have those

549
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: memories to this day. UM and my parents. One thing

550
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: my mom always said, regardless off we bickered or we argued,

551
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: or she said, one thing I will not do what

552
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: I'm in the grave is being they're rolling around because

553
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: my children don't get along. My brother, my sister, and I,

554
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: like everybody knows, has a very obnoxiously obnoxiously unique, but

555
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: tight relationship, and I love that for us, and that's

556
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 1: something that we definitely I'm on the same page with

557
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: you in terms of our boys having that. So you

558
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: have to start them from me, absolutely, because already they'll

559
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: be looking for each other and it's so funny because

560
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: they don't even snitch on each other either too. They

561
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: have their moments where they just are like this united front.

562
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: So you're not none of I'm telling each other all

563
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: get in trouble together, all right, That's fine. I respected that.

564
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 1: A question for you now, the motherhood or the I

565
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: won't say mother because motherhood never ends. Um, now that

566
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: pregnancy is out of the way for you for the

567
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: rest of your life and you never ever ever have

568
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: to think about I have to stop this because I'm

569
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,479
Speaker 1: gonna try to we have another baby again. What are

570
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 1: your goals you have for yourself just starting from this

571
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: year two? Wow? You know, I'm conflicted. I'm really conflicted because, Um,

572
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: for so long, for so many years, I wanted to be,

573
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: you know, the next Oprah, because he wants to be

574
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: like on everybody's TV screen hosting something or doing something

575
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: or acting. And having my children over the past couple

576
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 1: of years has really kind of made me feel a

577
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: little bit conflicted in that so much of me wants

578
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: to just be at home with my children, be at

579
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 1: their disposal. UM, be mom who's home when Jackson walks

580
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 1: through the door, you know, getting into from school, to

581
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 1: be here to greet him, to find out how his

582
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: day was, and um, and I realized, who, I don't

583
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: do well with too much time apart from my family either.

584
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: So I can just imagine myself if I were to

585
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: book something and be on set somewhere for three months

586
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: away from my family, how that would affect me. Um.

587
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: But then also to like it was just exactly to

588
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: be is always. And I also think of the fact

589
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 1: that we always find a way to figure things out.

590
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: And if that was the case and it meant that

591
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: my kids had to be flown out to me every

592
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 1: weekend or whatever, we would make it happen. Um. So

593
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to finding a way to stop self sabotaging,

594
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: which I think I've done for a long time. UM,

595
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: thinking to myself, oh, I'm not going to really start

596
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: this and ten percent because I have to stop to

597
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: potentially get back now now now we you know, I'm

598
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: glad we talked about this because New Year, and let's

599
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about self sabotage. Right. As confident

600
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 1: and as amazing as you are, you are a bit

601
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: of a self sabot tool because I think sometimes you

602
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: fear what will happen if you try to do something,

603
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: so in turn you say, let me not even try

604
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: because right, and then you'd be like, well, I plan

605
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: on having a baby anyway, to let me not do it.

606
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: Now that that's out the window, you don't have an

607
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: excuse and an excuse, and I think I need an

608
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: excuse anymore. I think it was just a conscious, deliberate

609
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: decision I was making to be like, you know what,

610
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: that could wait because knowing me, I'm gonna have another

611
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: baby and be out front of the two years and

612
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: then have to come back. Um. But also too I realized,

613
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: I mean some parts of the field of television and

614
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: film or whatever, or just hosting. Um, it's a little freak.

615
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: It's not forgiving in that you have to look a

616
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: certain way a certain way like that's just what it is,

617
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: especially if you want to be the best version of

618
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: yourself in that capacity. UM. And then there's something that's

619
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: a little bit more forgiving. Especially after the pandemic. We

620
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: see that things are being done through zoom and virtually.

621
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: But I feel like now moving forward, anything that I

622
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 1: choose to do, UM, I want to be able to

623
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 1: do fully and be able to commit to it and

624
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: not continue to be like, well, I'm always going to

625
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 1: have time because at this point, I don't feel like

626
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: I have much more time to start something. Um, I

627
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: don't know. They say they what you say. The days

628
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: are long, but the years are short, right, you have

629
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 1: twenty four hours in those days. That's true. Use them? Yeah,

630
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 1: that's true, use them. That's true. Well, I think what's

631
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: gonna happen now? Having the four children, of course, and

632
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: then your schedule in my schedule, it's going to force

633
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: us to be a lot more um, intentional with our time.

634
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: It's gonna force us to be a lot more scheduled,

635
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: and I'll be leaning more on our manager Genra and

636
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: you and us to figure out ways to be able

637
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: to capitalize on the time we have and be more

638
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 1: purposeful with our time. So making the time counsel. If

639
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: I do have an hour of time where I'm like, Okay,

640
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: this is time that I want to be devoting to

641
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: Cairo today because this is what Kyro needs in that moment.

642
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: I haven't spent someone on one time with Cairo, or

643
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: this is what's needed for our next project. I'm gonna

644
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: sit down and lock myself away for this hour because

645
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: you know that's what I'm going to be looking forward

646
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: to doing now is like kind of regaining the cadem

647
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: You remember in college Mary organized and goal oriented and

648
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: driven and had things all scheduled and laid out. I

649
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: need to get back to that person because that person

650
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: was very productive. Now I just have to do that

651
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: with four children and a husband. So well, I mean,

652
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: you spent the last decade and a year creating life.

653
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: Should be proud of yourself. Applaud yourself as you spent

654
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 1: ten years, eleven years creating eleven years, actually eleven years

655
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: and two months because you know, we're thinking about a

656
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:20,919
Speaker 1: starting in a two thousand and two. Um, that's nineteen years,

657
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: almost twenty years. Something about when we got married in

658
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: two thousand and ten. You know, eleven years creating life.

659
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: You dedicated a decade to creating life. But you're still young.

660
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: So now you can focus the rest of your life

661
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: on having the career you want while we balance it

662
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: because you're not in here by yourself. And that the

663
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: truth of the matter is that we put ourselves in

664
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 1: a situation where, um, we can bring our families down

665
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 1: to help. You know, we don't just necessarily have to

666
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: rely on our village. We're gonna build out here in Atlanta.

667
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: But we can bring our parents down and say head,

668
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: we need help doing this and doing that. We can

669
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: bring family and friends in what we need to help.

670
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: Because I'm gonna be honest with I'm not stopping right

671
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 1: when when I think about two, UM, we have UH

672
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 1: TV show in development that's UM already been green lit

673
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: that we're gonna be working on. It's going to be released.

674
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 1: We got a book deal that our book will be

675
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: out this I think this spring or maybe the beginning

676
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 1: of summer. UM. I filmed to two movies last year

677
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: that should be out there this year. This year, I'm

678
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: looking forward to show five shows. Oh live shows past.

679
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: We started them shows back in what was that last

680
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 1: one was at the top and they were such a vibe. Y'all,

681
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: y'all coming back. So I don't I don't plan on

682
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: stopping with all of that happening and everything happening, I

683
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 1: don't plan on stopping. And what I do plan on

684
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: doing is finding a way to make sure my children

685
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: don't lose site of who we are as parents. You

686
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I don't. I don't want to

687
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 1: be the guy that just goes out comes back and

688
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: gives money. I want to be the guy that they

689
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 1: say no. My dad spent a lot of time with

690
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 1: me while doing all of these things, and my mom

691
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: spent a lot of time. So I'm gonna be on you.

692
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna be on each other, each other being accountable

693
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: and and most importantly, I'm gonna be on your ass

694
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: about us continuing to be the best couple we can

695
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: be for each other. That's so important because that's where

696
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: everything starts from. None of this ship works without us

697
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 1: being on the same page, None of this works without you.

698
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: Are you? So we and we know that, and that

699
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: always has to be on the forefront, Like when we

700
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,919
Speaker 1: ever we do our New Year's resolution, like the main

701
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: part is how can I be of service to my wife?

702
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 1: And hopefully the same thing, how can you be of

703
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,280
Speaker 1: service to me so that we can continue to build

704
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: the way we can. But if we lose to life

705
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: the side of each other, everything else gonna fall apart.

706
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: That's a fact. That's a fact. Do you notice that

707
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: in the mornings I've been asked seem like, how can

708
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: I help to make it a little easier? Better? You have?

709
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 1: You have? I ain't a lie. You have right, because

710
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: I realized how much that helps you, um, at least

711
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: to prepare for your day or at least so let's

712
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: gather our thoughts because every day we're having those conversations

713
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 1: like what's happening today? Because our lives is so crazy,

714
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: But I remember, we should have arguments and I should

715
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: tell you like I don't think that you considered me

716
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: when you were planning out your day and what I

717
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 1: might need or what I might want or what might

718
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: help me get through my day. I don't think you

719
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 1: considered me. And we haven't had those conversations a lot,

720
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. We've really been focused on

721
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: trying to see, wait, how can I maximize my day

722
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: but not lose my spouse in that day, you know,

723
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 1: or not make make her day heavier ever because I

724
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: wanted to do something else. So I feel like it's

725
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 1: as long as we continue to do that, we can

726
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: keep growing. Like for sure, I mean, sometimes we missed

727
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:51,360
Speaker 1: the mark, you know, but that's gonna have life that life. Um,

728
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about you having four boys, bro, like we

729
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 1: spoke earlier about me feeling like you were giving four

730
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: boys or we were giving four boys because you're such

731
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: a stellar man that you are now going, So how

732
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: do you prepare then for manhood? Now? Like four boys,

733
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 1: is there anything that stands out as paramount for you

734
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 1: that you're just like man going into these next couple

735
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: of years. I'm looking to do this with them, or

736
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: instill this in them, or I want to see this,

737
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 1: you know, come from the boys. One thing I'll say

738
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 1: is that I've I've pretty much been able to watch

739
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 1: my father mentor the young men and the junior aiming

740
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 1: at at our church for years growing up. So I

741
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: watched my father right, and I was able to have

742
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 1: a prototype right. So I can't even take credit for

743
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: the way I am with the boys because I watched

744
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 1: my grandfather first with my my father and my uncle.

745
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: Then I watched my father with me and my brother,

746
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 1: but also all the other men he mentor. Then I

747
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 1: did prototype for a decade where I was training and

748
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 1: mentoring over five young men in Brooklyn. And I've learned

749
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: so much from other dad's parenting while I was helping them,

750
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,320
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So what I'm what I'm

751
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: going to try to do is take bits and pieces

752
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: of what I learned from dudes who I know are

753
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 1: successful men. Because here's here's the truth. Being an exemplary

754
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: dad doesn't look one way, or being an exemplary man

755
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,720
Speaker 1: doesn't look one way. Right. We tend to just highlight

756
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 1: maybe the one or two people who we feel like, oh,

757
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 1: that's the version. But I've seen versions of what that

758
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 1: looks like my entire life. So it's not an anomaly

759
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: to me. But because of mass media and the way

760
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 1: social media is now, people tend to get clicks by

761
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 1: posting negativity. So we see a lot of negativity when

762
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: it comes to especially black men. But I've grown up

763
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: watching a lot of men. I know there's men around

764
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 1: me or I mean, you just look at some of

765
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 1: the men we work on a daily basis. Think about

766
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: all of our children's godfathers, but they've got fathers all

767
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: doing different things, different professions. Super successful, Dakota's godfather, Sean

768
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:58,280
Speaker 1: who is our financial advisor, your god brother, stellar, stellar,

769
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: example of what it means to be of husb been

770
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 1: in our father and a businessman and stuff. Um, it's

771
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 1: just amazing to see that, and I I'm just I

772
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 1: think it's just one of those things where you have

773
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 1: those people around you. We have them around us, and

774
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: if we keep them around our children, you know, there's

775
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: so many examples for them to see. Well, that's my plan.

776
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: My plan is to just keep positive, strong men around

777
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: my children so that they can see or have an

778
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 1: example of what they should aspire to be. But then

779
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,839
Speaker 1: keep positive, strong, empowering women around them as well. They

780
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 1: can see or aspire to who they should want to

781
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,879
Speaker 1: spend their life with. You see what I'm saying. So

782
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: for me, it's it's not even about cheerating who I

783
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 1: want them to be. No, of course, it's just giving

784
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 1: them examples of who they should want to be around

785
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: and who they should want to be like. And as

786
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,439
Speaker 1: they choose what they want to be in their life,

787
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: navigate help them navigate that regardless because I may not

788
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: agree with every thing. And I'm realizing too, from generation

789
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: to generation they're gonna do things differently. Right, You and

790
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 1: I were entrepreneurs. We built social media followings and platforms.

791
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,839
Speaker 1: We went into TV film. Your mom and dad never

792
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: thought that you could make money that way. My mom

793
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: and dad never thought I could make money on social media.

794
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: So in their eyes, if they would have curated my life,

795
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 1: they would have been telling me no, don't do this.

796
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: Your parents would be like, no, don't do that. And

797
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 1: I've learned by watching your parents allow us to grow

798
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 1: and go through our things, is to learn to let

799
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:33,240
Speaker 1: our boys make their decisions and nurture them through the process.

800
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: So that's ultimately what I'm gonna do. It gonna be

801
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: more of a watch and nurture. Nurture, this is how

802
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 1: you do it. And you know I don't. I don't

803
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: think that's gonna work. I think also watch and learn

804
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: because there's been so much our kids have been teaching us,

805
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: you know, so much our kids have been teaching us

806
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:51,280
Speaker 1: about ourselves, about us as individuals, how we parent. Um

807
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 1: I lean on you a lot because I've never been

808
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 1: a boy. So there's sometimes where you may pull me

809
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 1: aside and say, ky, I don't think what you said

810
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 1: just now were the way said it's going to be

811
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: beneficial to Jackson or to Cairo, because you know, I

812
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: don't think boys receive it that way from their mom.

813
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 1: And what the last thing I want to do is

814
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: to be that mom that's you know, the boys are

815
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: running from, like oh lord, here she goes in. You

816
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 1: know we're gonna have those moments. But um, I look

817
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: to lean on you a lot because I know that

818
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: you've been a boy, you're now a man. UM. You

819
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: understand what it's like. You understand the little quirks that

820
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 1: you know boys or who are growing to have UM

821
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: at different phases in their life. So I'm you know,

822
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,399
Speaker 1: looking forward to you being able to kind of help

823
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:34,399
Speaker 1: me mother through these four boys, you know, and all

824
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 1: the different personalities that come with them, which I'm so

825
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: excited to see what Dakota is going to be like

826
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: and who he's going to be like, UM, because we

827
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 1: have three different ones that we've learned so far, so

828
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: it's gonna be interesting to see how we throw a

829
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: fourth personality into the mix. UM. But I'm excited, Bro,

830
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I almost feel like

831
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,439
Speaker 1: this is like the closing of one chapter. UM, still

832
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: the same book, you know, just the closing of a

833
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 1: chapter and then the start another UM as we raise

834
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:08,439
Speaker 1: these boys together. So absolutely, well, let's take a quick break, UM,

835
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,479
Speaker 1: let's think about those chapters as we come back, because

836
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: we have some listener letters, probably some really good ones

837
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 1: last one of the season. But like we said before,

838
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 1: I think we said this a couple of weeks ago. Um,

839
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: there's not gonna be a huge break. We're not taking

840
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: any more long, dead ass breaks. You are going to

841
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: hear from us consistently from now on out. So be

842
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 1: taking a break and we'll be right back for some

843
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 1: more listener letters. Sounds good to me, all right, and

844
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,919
Speaker 1: we are back letters. You want to go first? List time,

845
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: y'all go first, nest time? All right, So Vina Codeine,

846
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 1: I've been with my child's father since I was thirteen.

847
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: I've been with my child's father since I was seventeen

848
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: and I'm thirty four. Now. How do I get him

849
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 1: to look at me the way he used to before

850
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 1: we had our daughter. At first, we couldn't keep on

851
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: hand ends off each other. We used to be together

852
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 1: all the time, day in and day out. Lately, I

853
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: haven't been feeling as wanted as I used to feel.

854
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 1: I want another baby, and we talked about it. He

855
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: said he wants on the baby as well. How do

856
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: I get the ball rolling and the pot hot that? Um? Well,

857
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: seventeen so that's double the years. That's that's they've been

858
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: together for seventeen years. Um, So in seventeen years, a

859
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: lot can fall off the bandwagon. Um, you know, and

860
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: it's just it's just one of those things. I think,

861
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: even us being together twenty years, we've had our rough patches.

862
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,439
Speaker 1: We are you know, declines and all sorts of things,

863
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 1: whether it was just declines and intimacy, declines and interests

864
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:47,919
Speaker 1: depending on where we were in our life. Um, she says,

865
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: how do I get him to look at me the bed? Well,

866
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 1: I would like to see what you look like, what

867
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 1: you look like at thirty four after being seventeen. No,

868
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, but seriously I'm not, but seriously said seriously,

869
00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: I'm not. Um, what has happened in the past seventeen years?

870
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: What does that look like for you guys? Now you know? Um,

871
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 1: what do you guys continue to do together to create

872
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: that want or desire? Um? Can I put Can I

873
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: put something out here? I'm being dead asked with y'all

874
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 1: listeners out here? This whole talk that people say, you know,

875
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: accept me as I am. Things change looks fake? No, no no, no, no, no,

876
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: I get that, But do you really put any work

877
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 1: in to keep yourself up? Mhm? And that's two men

878
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 1: and women like you can't just expect the person that

879
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: you fell in love with or that person that fell

880
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:41,879
Speaker 1: into love with you to just let yourself go and say, well,

881
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: it's yours, your responsibility now to love me like this.

882
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't give a shit about you enough

883
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: to try to work hard to maintain myself. It's just

884
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: your job. That's unfair. That is the most lazy, selfish

885
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,919
Speaker 1: mindset anybody can have, man or woman. We talked about

886
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,080
Speaker 1: this on the last podcast. Right, it's just important for

887
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 1: a man to keep himself up as a woman, right,

888
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 1: But what we don't talk about is how important it

889
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 1: is to do it for yourself one so that you

890
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: can feel good enough to even want to be intimate

891
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: with someone. Because here's another thing, right, we had I

892
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 1: think we had a friend, I'm not remember exactly which

893
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 1: friend it was, but said that he didn't feel like

894
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: initiating sex because he didn't feel comfortable being naked in

895
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: front of his work. He said he didn't feel the same.

896
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 1: So then she was kind of like, well, what do

897
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 1: you mean? What you mean? And I'm just like, bro,

898
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,719
Speaker 1: you're know corny, that is that you let yourself go.

899
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 1: So now you're neglecting your wife because you don't feel comfortable.

900
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 1: But you're also not putting any work to get back,

901
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: so it's complaining but not doing anything about the complaint.

902
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And it's the same thing

903
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 1: with women. Do it. You know, you let yourself go

904
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: and now you don't feel comfortable, but you want your

905
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: husband to be on you, but you're not even putting

906
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 1: any work. So you just want all the work to

907
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: be on him or her to make you feel better,

908
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: but you're a willing to put any work on yourself.

909
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: Like I really want to put this out there for

910
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 1: two that if you want your significant other to look

911
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: at you the way that you used to look, or say,

912
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 1: I want them too we first met, how about you

913
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 1: try looking like how you first met, even if it's

914
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 1: seventeen years. I know for a fact that I don't

915
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,320
Speaker 1: look the same way I look when I was eighteen,

916
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 1: And I mean, all right, but she grew into yourself

917
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: very nicely. I appreciate that. But I put working, I

918
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:29,479
Speaker 1: go on the gym, and I'd be in there looking

919
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 1: at myself and eating right and make it because I'm

920
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 1: like when I get out the shower, I want to

921
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: be glistening and I want kay to be like damn,

922
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: that's my husband. I don't just say funk this. You

923
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I look the way I look.

924
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 1: You know, she got accepted. I think that that's selfish

925
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: and lazy, right, you know. And I'm not saying that's

926
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,439
Speaker 1: her because we don't know. I don't know what she's got, right,

927
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: And then she said, look at me the same way.

928
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: It could be a physical thing, or it could just

929
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 1: be a not connected thing, right if it's not fit.

930
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 1: If it's not physical, say physical is still fine? Is

931
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:58,360
Speaker 1: there disconnect there? Why is there disconnect? What happens to

932
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 1: cause it? Are you guys on the same page about

933
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 1: something like? There can also be a non physical side

934
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: to this thing too, you know, so I think you

935
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 1: should explore what those what those disconnects are. Is it

936
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: something that's just like an intimacy thing where you guys

937
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 1: are just not vibing and not mentally in the same space, um,

938
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 1: not emotionally in the same space. Are there other outside

939
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 1: factors that are contributing to that? Has he been working

940
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 1: a lot over the past couple of years and he's

941
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 1: just tired or he just needs to break to you,

942
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 1: to need a break to kind of a little words

943
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: working people what it is. People ask people ask us

944
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: all the time, like how do y'all do this? And

945
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 1: then when we say things, you know what they say,

946
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to do all that. Then you're not

947
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 1: trying to rekindle your intimacy. Seriously, you're not trying to

948
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: be in a relationship like that. That seems to be

949
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,399
Speaker 1: a recurring theme with couples. You know what I'm saying,

950
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: why I don't want to get married because I ain't

951
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 1: trying to do all this and that So okay, So

952
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 1: you just want someone to just accept you without you

953
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 1: putting no work. There is nothing in life that you're

954
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: going to gain that you want without putting work, nothing

955
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: worth having at least, And that's that's physically, mentally, emotionally

956
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: of spiritualy. Do you have to work for yourself about

957
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: yourself in all of those aspects to continue to build

958
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,959
Speaker 1: intimacy like that? That is important and it's a never

959
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: ending journey and it doesn't stop. There should be no

960
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 1: point in your marriage where you stop doing anything physically, mentally,

961
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: and emotionally and spiritually with your partner to help keep

962
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 1: intimacy up right. And if that's something that you don't

963
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: want to subscribe to then stay single boom. Just know

964
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 1: that you're gonna be single and that's what it is,

965
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 1: and don't put nobody else through that misery boom and

966
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: the understand that you can stay single like that if

967
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 1: you want to be you know that selfish, which is fine,

968
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 1: but understand people will want you in that moment and

969
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 1: then when they get over that, they're gonna move on.

970
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 1: But they don't say people ain't ship. Is that if

971
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 1: you desire to be in a relationship, it takes work

972
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: to maintain and being a relationship with someone that's it. Period, period,

973
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,720
Speaker 1: all right, and last one for the day. I need advice.

974
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,439
Speaker 1: My wife and I have been married for four years

975
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: now but been together for eight years total. To me,

976
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: there seems to be a disconnecting the relationship because I'm

977
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: military and the Army is always sending me somewhere at

978
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: the worst times. For example, we could be starting a

979
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,399
Speaker 1: business and the next month I have to uproot and leave,

980
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,319
Speaker 1: and I know that's affecting her. In my mind, I don't.

981
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm doing the right thing and keeping my word that

982
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 1: I will always provide and that she and the kids

983
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,279
Speaker 1: will never want for anything. I just got back from

984
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 1: Mexico and it was away from the family for over

985
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:26,439
Speaker 1: a year due to military orders. I bought my wife

986
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,919
Speaker 1: a new house. It has the acre she's always asked for.

987
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 1: We're taking family trips to places we've never been. But

988
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 1: deep down I know it's not enough before I lose

989
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 1: the one I love most. What can I do to

990
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 1: make her feel appreciated? What can she do to understand

991
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: that I'm not being selfish? When Uncle Sam says, pack up,

992
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: that's what it is. More importantly, how can I balance

993
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: my military life and my family life? And the words

994
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: of Kevin Heart help me, help me. This is the forever,

995
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 1: the never ending balance of being a man right Your

996
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: Your wife says she wants all of these things right,

997
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: so you bust your ads to provide all of these things.

998
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 1: But those things take time away from her wanting we

999
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 1: want her, wanting you to be there. You know, you

1000
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 1: and I had this conversation where I was I think

1001
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: it was the last couple of weeks I was away

1002
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 1: because you know we I was filming and working on

1003
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 1: a different TV show, and you just like sad. It

1004
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: was a madag. I just want you home, And I said,

1005
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 1: you know, in your mind, you want me to give

1006
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: you all of these things and be home to enjoy

1007
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 1: the things with you. And you were like yes, and

1008
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: I was just like that, that's just not how it works.

1009
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: There's a there's a balance, and there's a lot of

1010
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: communication that needs to be involved with that. But there's

1011
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 1: also ways to especially with technology now with FaceTime. I

1012
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: know we gets annoying, but face timing has helped us

1013
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: in our distance. When I'm not here, I can face

1014
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 1: some you and the boys every day. Yeah, but but

1015
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: also understanding that in order to get things in life,

1016
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: you have to sacrifice certain things for a certain amount

1017
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: of time and tokens like think about it. You were

1018
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: filming the other day and I was home, mad, pregnant,

1019
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: and I just see a delivery show up and it's

1020
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: just like a little flower of the thing of flowers,

1021
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,399
Speaker 1: and it says, it's just because it's Tuesday and I'm

1022
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 1: thinking of you. And it's little things like that to

1023
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: make you smile. You know, it doesn't always have to

1024
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 1: be a gift or something that you're spending money on,

1025
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 1: but just little moments to let the other know that

1026
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: you're thinking about them, I think is huge. And also

1027
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 1: just understanding. Like if you're a wife and you marry

1028
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 1: an army guy, you knew what you signed up for.

1029
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 1: Complaining after knowing what you signed signed up for seems

1030
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 1: to be a little bit still getting the things that

1031
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 1: you've been at. You know what I'm saying. That seems

1032
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 1: a little bit selfish, But I know what it's like

1033
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 1: as a woman when you just miss your man and

1034
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: you're absolutely and you want him to be able to

1035
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: enjoy all the acres with you every day and he

1036
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: wants to be there. I trust me he wants to

1037
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 1: be there. I mean if if he's as good as

1038
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: she's as he's saying he is and getting all the

1039
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: things he wants, he even wants to be able to

1040
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 1: provide her with the time. But it's impossible to give

1041
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 1: her the things and the time because I remember I

1042
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: made a post a couple of years back that I

1043
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 1: felt guilty, um when I was away and you and

1044
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,320
Speaker 1: the kids were doing things together. Um My boy Solving,

1045
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 1: who's been on on the podcast Slick, He said he

1046
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: was pissed the other day because um Rema took the

1047
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 1: kids to the zoo and he was like, these are

1048
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: the fucking message I get when I'm aware you're just

1049
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,919
Speaker 1: doing things and spending times having moments, and I gotta

1050
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 1: get videos when I'm on set filming and I think about,

1051
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: you're not coming to Disney Road for Cairo's birthday, prime example.

1052
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: What I'm saying, we had to literally rush you out

1053
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: of the restaurant, cut the cake early just because you

1054
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:43,879
Speaker 1: had a flight to catch to be back to film.

1055
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,320
Speaker 1: And I was in Disney World with the boys, pregnant,

1056
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 1: with my parents for the day fifth birthday. You don't

1057
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:52,240
Speaker 1: think I wanted to be there for that exactly, but

1058
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 1: you did the absolute best you could do there to

1059
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 1: the very last minute, even if it meant lack of

1060
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: sleep and all that you know, and also understanding that

1061
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: this moment in time won't be the rest of your life.

1062
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 1: At some point's going to retire from the military, and

1063
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: it's for both of them to understand that, let me

1064
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 1: put these hours in time in now so that there

1065
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: come a point where I can do what I want

1066
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 1: to do. And that's what's my thought processes, is do

1067
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: the things that I have to do now so that

1068
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 1: I can do what I want to do later. Sounds

1069
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: good to me, all right, y'all continue to write in

1070
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: for listening letters, especially going into the next season. We

1071
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: didn't do a listener letter episode this season because we

1072
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: had so much to talk about when it came to

1073
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 1: the baby and the pregnancy and everything after that. UM,

1074
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 1: so keep writing in and if you want to be

1075
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 1: featured as one of our listener letters, be sure to

1076
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: email us at dead Advice at gmail dot com. That's

1077
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: D E A D A S S A d V

1078
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. All right, my

1079
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: moment of truth is to make sure you'll hold me

1080
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: accountable and I'll hand no more babies. But no, um, seriously,

1081
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 1: I am just honestly, like I said, looking forward to

1082
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,240
Speaker 1: this next portion of our life where we're just working

1083
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 1: on the best version of ourselves, being the best version

1084
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 1: of ourselves so we can be the best version of

1085
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 1: ourselves for each other and then of course for our

1086
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: four sons. That's what I want to do moving forward

1087
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 1: New Year, no resolutions or anything, just planning, UM, planning

1088
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: to make active movements, which is something we've always done.

1089
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 1: It's always worked for us over the past. This will

1090
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,320
Speaker 1: be twenty years in October that we have been together.

1091
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: Twenty years UM October three two So UM so yeah,

1092
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: I'm just I just want us to continue because this

1093
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: first twenty years has been quite the ride, and I'm

1094
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 1: looking forward to twenty times spot more. Well, my moment

1095
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 1: of truth is that I'm a kingmaker, You're a king baker. Clearly,

1096
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: this is what God in the universe had for us.

1097
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 1: I'm excited to get ready to to raise these boys

1098
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: and create a beautiful life with you. And that starts

1099
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 1: the beginning of the year two for the rest of

1100
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 1: our lives. And I'm with it. And I also want

1101
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 1: to take this time to wish nothing but prosperity and

1102
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 1: good things all of our listeners of Dead as Podcasts.

1103
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: Y'all have been writing with us for six seasons are

1104
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 1: three years I believe three years six having fun. Yeah,

1105
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: y'all funk with us heavy. We funk with y'all heavy,

1106
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 1: and nothing but love and prosperity and good things all

1107
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 1: of y'all. I can't wait to me person like I said,

1108
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 1: that's too about to me. That's my favorite part of everything.

1109
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: I said. If we're going to continue this podcast, we

1110
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 1: have to do some live shows. So we're looking forward

1111
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 1: to see y'all when we get a schedule out for

1112
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: this year. Um, we're gonna definitely try to make that

1113
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: happen all right. In the meantime, make sure you'll follow

1114
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 1: us on social media. Dead asked the podcast and I'm Candin,

1115
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: I am and I am devout. And if you're listening

1116
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.

1117
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 1: And remember there are no more dead Ass breaks. We

1118
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 1: will be back continuously, all of two. Can't wait for

1119
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:04,720
Speaker 1: We love y'all, Baby enjoyed the New Year. Absolutely dead

1120
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 1: Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast Network

1121
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:11,240
Speaker 1: and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast

1122
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,919
Speaker 1: on social media at dead as the podcasts and never

1123
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:14,440
Speaker 1: miss a Thing