1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: Welcome to a bonus episode of Happy Face Presents Two Face. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: In episode nine, we mentioned that Diane Downs wrote a 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: letter to her defense attorney Jim Jagger after conviction, which 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: changed her version of the story and retold the events 5 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: of the night of the shooting quite differently than she 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: presented them for months, both in the press and in court. 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: The letter does not in fact line up with the 8 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: version of the story she tells today. Though it's impossible 9 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: to know which version of the events is true, we 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: present the letter as an interesting artifact in the. 11 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 2: Case November seventh, nineteen eighty four, Cela Morgan, Dear Jim, 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 2: I am not really sure how to start this letter, 13 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: but I guess the best way to make an apology 14 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:43,519 Speaker 2: is to say I'm sorry. Now you're probably wondering what 15 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 2: this is all about, and when you are through reading, 16 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 2: you'll probably drop this letter and say damn you, Diane, 17 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 2: like you have so many times before. Your blood pressure 18 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 2: will go up. And I'm sorry about that too. I'm 19 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 2: sorry about a lot of things. Really, I only hope 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 2: you will forgive me for not being totally honest with you. 21 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 2: It's just that it's so hard for me to put 22 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 2: myself in someone else's hands. I find it hard to 23 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 2: fully trust anyone not to hurt me. I needed to 24 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 2: control myself and my situation, and I've been that way 25 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 2: for a few years. It has been a hard lesson 26 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 2: to learn, and I can't guarantee that I'll be cured forever. 27 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 2: But I know now that I should have placed this 28 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 2: whole problem in your hands and let you deal with it. 29 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,119 Speaker 2: But I was afraid. Silly, maybe, but I was afraid 30 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 2: you would lose respect for me. And well, let me explain. 31 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 2: Hopefully by the time you finish reading this, you'll have 32 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 2: an understanding of me, and I'll have your forgiveness. I 33 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 2: had no right to hire you as my attorney and 34 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 2: then expect you to represent me without telling you everything 35 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 2: I could. I really am grateful for your representation and 36 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 2: support these past seventeen months, and because of that, I 37 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 2: cannot be comfortable with myself unless they come clean with 38 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 2: you again. I am sorry for thinking I had to 39 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 2: handle things myself. I should have let go for once 40 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 2: in my life and let someone else take over for 41 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 2: a while. Please understand and forgive this. Let me get lengthy, 42 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 2: but please bear with me. I have a lot of 43 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 2: conscience to relieve. Perhaps it's best to start with the 44 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 2: night of the shooting. I wasn't totally honest because I 45 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: was afraid of what else could happen to me at 46 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 2: the hands of the police. I had marijuana in my 47 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: car when I stopped on Old Mohawk, and I was 48 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: afraid if I told the whole truth, I would lose 49 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 2: my job with the Post Office because of the drug charge, 50 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,359 Speaker 2: and I couldn't afford that. So I told as much 51 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 2: of the truth as I could without seeing the things 52 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 2: that would make me look like a creep. I had 53 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 2: also hoped that by eliminating certain facts that the police 54 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 2: would not find out that I had rather loose morals. 55 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 2: I did not want people that I respected to think 56 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 2: poorly of me, so when I got to the hospital, 57 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: I couldn't tell the police I opened the trunk because 58 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: they would want to know what I removed, and it 59 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 2: was pot. But while I had the trunk open, I 60 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 2: didn't see him remove the black case. Yes, the black 61 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 2: case with Steve's gun in it. I'm sorry I lied, 62 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: but I couldn't explain the presence of the gun without 63 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 2: telling me about the pot. So while it is very 64 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 2: possible that an officer can make one mistake in an 65 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 2: effort to trap a criminal. I don't think it happened 66 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 2: this time. It just all seemed so harmless. In the beginning, 67 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: Jim Dickens and I were coming back from Heathers and 68 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 2: when we turned around the south side Centerman Road, a 69 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 2: guy started playing catch up with me. I was driving 70 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 2: slower than most people do, so he passed me. Then 71 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 2: he pulled in front of me and slowed down, so 72 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 2: I passed him. It was a game, just a flirt. 73 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 2: We pulled off Marcala on a old mohawk. Why just 74 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: because the kids were asleep. He was a man, and 75 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: I wasn't really tired yet. I like men, and I 76 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 2: loved a flirt. Maybe some would say it's because she's 77 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 2: just a tramp. Anyway, I pulled over on old mohawk 78 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 2: and he stopped behind me. When I get out of 79 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 2: the car, I checked the kids and they were all asleep. 80 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 2: I did take the keys off of the ignition and 81 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 2: had them hung on my finger, and we talked for 82 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 2: a couple of minutes, and I looked at the kids. 83 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 2: They were still asleep. He asked if I had any smoke, 84 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 2: and even though he wasn't exactly my kind of guy. 85 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 2: I figured it would be better to placate him rather 86 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 2: than offend him, so I opened the trunk and removed 87 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 2: the bag. I had to dig under a couple of 88 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 2: things to get it, and I did not see him 89 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: remove anything from the trunk. When I straightened up and 90 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 2: closed the trunk, I saw what he had in his hand. 91 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 2: I don't recall our conversation verbatim, but we discussed the 92 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 2: reason he had taken the gun and that time he 93 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 2: had removed it from the case. He started acting a 94 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 2: little strange, and that's when I started to get scared, 95 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 2: which I rarely do. He made sexual advances, and I 96 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 2: handed him the pot and tried to get his mind 97 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 2: on another subject. Honestly, Jim, all I did was try 98 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 2: to discourage his advances, and he flipped. He tossed the 99 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 2: black case and the pot on the hood of his 100 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 2: car and grabbed my left arm. It made me mad 101 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 2: and scared at the time, so I pulled my arm 102 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 2: freight and said no. That was when he went to 103 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 2: open the door of my car. I moved toward him, 104 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 2: but looked in the little wing window as he shot me. Christy, 105 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 2: she really was asleep, Jim, but she woke up and 106 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 2: raised herself before he shot her again. I really don't 107 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 2: know who he shot next, and I don't see why 108 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 2: it matters. I don't know if he got in the 109 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 2: car or not. All I do know is I saw 110 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 2: my daughter, my Chrissy, bleeding. I just stood there, paralyzed. 111 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: Chris and I are empathic, and I couldn't separate myself 112 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 2: from her pain and terror. It was almost as if 113 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: I was a part of her. Now you'll probably sit 114 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 2: back and say, yup, Diana's are real crazy. But if 115 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 2: you do, it's only because you've never loved anyone or 116 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,280 Speaker 2: up your life as much as I did with my kids. 117 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 2: It's hard for me to explain how much I love 118 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 2: my kids and need them. Love seems like such an 119 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 2: inadequate word. Perhaps if you ever want to talk to 120 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: me again, I can try to explain it. Anyways, When 121 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 2: he swung back toward me, I was startled that the 122 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 2: guy hit my right hand and the keys did jingle, 123 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 2: but he didn't ask for the car. He didn't say 124 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,279 Speaker 2: anything because I hit him, and I guess he was 125 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 2: too mad for words. I'm sorry. I can't say why 126 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 2: he didn't say anything. This letter is not for speculation, 127 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 2: but I can say that he looks angry. He grabbed 128 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 2: my left arm again and I tried to break free. 129 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: Then I heard the gun fire two times. My arm 130 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 2: felt my side. It may sound strange, Jim, but in 131 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 2: that moment I didn't feel fear or hysteria anymore. I 132 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 2: was angry, and I guess motivated would be a good 133 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 2: word for how I felt. He was looking at the 134 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 2: gun and I pushed him. I jumped in and inserted 135 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 2: the keys and left. I have no idea if he 136 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 2: fell or what I wasn't looking at him. I remember 137 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 2: very little of the trip to the hospital. I recall 138 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 2: trying to help Chrissy and hearing Danny cry and telling 139 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 2: Sherry to wake up. I remember blood and odors and 140 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 2: a white fence. I recall opening the window, but the 141 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 2: rest is black. I'm sorry I don't recall much more, 142 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 2: or maybe I'm glad I don't recall much more. At 143 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 2: any rate, my memory is gone. At the hospital, I 144 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 2: can't say I was very reactive. Perhaps I looked cool, 145 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 2: calm and collected to everyone know me. My kids needed 146 00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 2: help in a way that I could not help, so 147 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 2: I got them to the doctor, but it's hard for 148 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 2: me to just turn my life over to someone else 149 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 2: and let go. So I used all my strength to 150 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 2: hold together so I would be ready when they needed 151 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 2: me to help. I didn't want to become a basket 152 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 2: case that the doctor would have to knock out, because 153 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 2: I had to be ready and able to support my 154 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 2: kids emotionally. Then, of course there was the police force. 155 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 2: They needed answers, and I did tell them when I could. 156 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 2: I couldn't tell them about my loose morals, which put 157 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 2: us in a dangerous situation because I didn't want my 158 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 2: parents and the hospital staff and the police to think 159 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,440 Speaker 2: I was a tramp, and I couldn't tell them about 160 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 2: the pot, and therefore I couldn't tell them about the gun. 161 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 2: But I told them where to look. And I know 162 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 2: I sound very confused, and to be truthful, I was 163 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 2: a mess. It didn't hit me and that when they 164 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 2: found him they would find out about the first and 165 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 2: the pot and the gun. I just knew that I 166 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,959 Speaker 2: could not tell them. As time passed, and not very 167 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 2: much of it at that the police and everyone else 168 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 2: found out about my attraction to men, but then it 169 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 2: was impossible for me to go back and retract my 170 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 2: half truth. And as far as I was concerned and 171 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 2: still am I, it doesn't really matter why I stopped, 172 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 2: so I didn't tell them the rest, and everyone almost 173 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 2: was saying that I was the one who shot my kids, 174 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 2: and they said it was Steve's gun that was used, 175 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 2: and therefore that proved I was guilty. Well, by that time, 176 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 2: it wouldn't have mattered, because if I wanted to risk 177 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 2: my job by telling about the pot and explaining what happened, 178 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 2: because they would have used that gun against me. I 179 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 2: was afraid, Jim, afraid of what people would think of me. Ironic, 180 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 2: isn't it. I didn't want anyone to know I had 181 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 2: loosed morals, and now they think I'm a murderress and 182 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 2: it's all because they wouldn't own up to my real faults. Well, 183 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 2: then I retained you to help my daughter and ended 184 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 2: up needing you myself. But by the time I needed you, 185 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 2: I respected you and looked up to you. I didn't 186 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 2: want you to think of me as a liar or weakling. 187 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 2: So what did I do to cover the lies? Lie 188 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 2: some more? But I can't stand it anymore. You can 189 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 2: only keep it up for so long before it becomes 190 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 2: like in your throat. I've gotten to the place that 191 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 2: I can't even look at myself anymore. You proved yourself 192 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 2: not only a good attorney, but a friend, and it 193 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 2: can't that I never confess the lies. Then I have 194 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 2: used you, and I can't live with that on my 195 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 2: conscience forever. So here I am asking you to forgive 196 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 2: me for being a liar and a tramp. I am 197 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 2: ashamed of myself and I don't deserve it, but I 198 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 2: truly hope you can forgive me and put everything else behind. 199 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 2: I know I've many things, and I've had all kinds 200 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 2: of explanations for all the kinds of things, and I'm sorry. 201 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 2: I wish I had never omitted part of the truth. 202 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 2: I wish well, it's all behind me now. I'm sorry. 203 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 2: Doesn't seem like no, but I am sorry, respectfully, Diane. 204 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: Regardless of your thoughts on Diane's guilt or innocence, the 205 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: letter paints a picture of a person whose priorities that 206 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: don't align with what one would expect from a mother 207 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: concerned about the well being of her children, regardless of 208 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: her intentions. Claiming to pull over to flirt with a 209 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: man who's playing passing games with his car in the 210 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: middle of the night with her children in the car 211 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: is even more bizarre than the mainstream version of the story. 212 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: She tells about the evening coming up. Next our final episode, 213 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: Becky speaks to Michelle about her paternal lineage and we 214 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:42,600 Speaker 1: get her final thoughts on the process. Ben Bolan is 215 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: our executive producer, Melissa Moore is our co executive producer. 216 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: Maya Cole is our primary producer. Paul Decand is our 217 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: supervising producer. Sam T. Garnian is our researcher, and Matt 218 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: Riddle is our story editor. Featured music by dream Tent. 219 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: Happy Face Presents Two Face. It's a production of iHeartRadio 220 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:24,959 Speaker 2: Show.