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Speaker 1: Hey hey, hey we're back. We're black, We're Bread Ambitions.
Speaker 1: You can tell you I could do like I'm doing a
Speaker 1: soulder semmy. Can you hear it in my voice?
Speaker 2: I was distracted by my own lack of like rhythm
Speaker 2: when I was trying to go, and I harmonized. But
Speaker 2: it's going to work out. Hello, Happy post Thanksgiving everybody.
Speaker 1: I know, how is your Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2: Mandra It was a whirl ef and wind. Let me
Speaker 2: just tell you, I feel like I'm still recuperating.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: It was great, though it was as good as it
Speaker 2: could have been with you know, the pandemic and Zoom
Speaker 2: and all of that. But as y'all know, my baby's
Speaker 2: first birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, and I would say
Speaker 2: the prep work began a week before the big day.
Speaker 2: I mean I was baking cakes all weekend in preparation
Speaker 2: for his birthday cake and then all the Thanksgiving food.
Speaker 2: I just like did the most. But it was really nice.
Speaker 2: We had We had my husband's brother and sister in law,
Speaker 2: and then his mom came and then we had a
Speaker 2: whole you know, a whole party on Zoom. But you know,
Speaker 2: baby baby Rio had a magical first birthday. I will say, though,
Speaker 2: do you ever get like after a big event you
Speaker 2: feel like a little bit down afterward? I maybe it
Speaker 2: was like all the adrenaline pumping, But the last few
Speaker 2: days I have just been like ragged, raggedy, ragged ragged.
Speaker 2: It doesn't really help matters that the day of his
Speaker 2: first birthday. And if you're a new mom and you breastfeed,
Speaker 2: like your baby you're nursing, you know, throughout the day,
Speaker 2: all the time for the first year. That's what's recommended
Speaker 2: by the experts. And I had always told myself, like, Okay,
Speaker 2: after twelve months, if he's still into it, you know,
Speaker 2: we'll try to wean because I would like my boobs
Speaker 2: back and like my freedom to not have to be,
Speaker 2: you know, around all the time. And I thought it
Speaker 2: would be a long process and like I was gonna
Speaker 2: have to ease him out of it because oh, he
Speaker 2: like loves mommy and he's so attached and like it's
Speaker 2: our special time. Homeboy woke up the morning of his
Speaker 2: first birthday, took one look at my boobs and was like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm good, and.
Speaker 1: He has a nurse.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. He was like, Tommy, didn't you know
Speaker 2: the American Society of Pediatrics recommends only until twelve months,
Speaker 2: So we good.
Speaker 1: Wow, Because I say, I know so many moms who
Speaker 1: are like the kid is like, girl, if you don't
Speaker 1: come over here with those boobs, I know.
Speaker 2: Well, there was this whole like viral thread. I'm on
Speaker 2: this Black Black Girl Magic Peloton edition on Facebook and
Speaker 2: it's just an amazing community and this one thread was
Speaker 2: going viral. This woman posted a picture of her like
Speaker 2: toddler nursing while she was on the bike, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, wow, you know, and then just dozens
Speaker 2: of other moms started posting about their sixteen month old,
Speaker 2: their twenty two month old, how they just are still
Speaker 2: on the boob, and yeah, I'm blessed. But I wasn't
Speaker 2: expecting that at all. So I think there's also this
Speaker 2: little known effect when you stop breastfeeding all of a
Speaker 2: sudden where you have like like a hormone crash. So
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm riding that wave down, but it's okay,
Speaker 2: I'll bounce back.
Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't know that. I never thought about that.
Speaker 2: That would make sense, Mean, your body, this was a
Speaker 2: lot more than you bargain for. You're like, girl, I
Speaker 2: just want to know how the turkey tasted like done.
Speaker 2: But yeah, if you're if you're a mom, who's who's
Speaker 2: dealt with that? It's yeah, they just don't talk about it.
Speaker 2: But after you because you have to produce so much
Speaker 2: hormones to make food for your baby for so long,
Speaker 2: and it's just like after you give birth. You know.
Speaker 2: That's why postpartum depression and anxiety are so common, are
Speaker 2: not so common but why they happen is, you know,
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, your body is the pro the
Speaker 2: hormones you were producing to sustain that life are crashing,
Speaker 2: and similar things happen when you are no longer breastfeed,
Speaker 2: and that's why they say don't do it cold turkey.
Speaker 2: But my baby had other brands. He's like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: would like to try other things like orange juice and
Speaker 2: wild sake salmon.
Speaker 1: He's like, I can't believe he's only turning one because honestly,
Speaker 1: you know, he looks too. He does.
Speaker 2: I know he gets mistaken for it. I mean, we've
Speaker 2: met other young babies, not close, but I've seen them
Speaker 2: from Afar and and he's he's in the ninety nine
Speaker 2: percentile for height.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, because Rio is really tall.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's it's what I was thinking. I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, he's a big boy. Yeah, he is
Speaker 1: walking all.
Speaker 2: Over the place.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I mean, I feel like you've got tall in
Speaker 1: your family, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean my husband's side is pretty tall. My side's
Speaker 2: pretty above average. So you know, he he I don't
Speaker 2: know where he puts it because he eats like so much.
Speaker 2: I think he's Also he's also very active, like now
Speaker 2: he walks and he's all over the house and it's
Speaker 2: so cute seeing him become more confident walking and he
Speaker 2: runs and he my brother got him a little Bens
Speaker 2: for his birthday, like a baby Bence.
Speaker 1: I love it. Uncle. If not to give you a baby,
Speaker 1: who's going to give you a baby Bence? But your uncle,
Speaker 1: your uncle Drake.
Speaker 2: Right, that is what Uncle Drake would give. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: he's all over the place, He's got a lot of energy.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's crazy. I think I also too. And
Speaker 2: y'all know I've talked about like my struggles with anxiety
Speaker 2: through having the baby and all that, and I really
Speaker 2: came out on the other side of that so much stronger.
Speaker 2: But I look back and I think I was just
Speaker 2: in my mind, I had made his first birthday like
Speaker 2: this finish line, like just make it to his first birthday,
Speaker 2: like you're gonna You're gonna do it. You can do
Speaker 2: this if you got it. And then it came and went,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh damn, no, magical childcare has cropped
Speaker 2: up and the pandemic is still raging, and okay, we
Speaker 2: gotta keep going, all right, So we took a moment.
Speaker 2: We celebrated. Now on to the next marathon. I guess, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: But how my Thanksgiving your affair?
Speaker 1: It was good on the side, I did my usual
Speaker 1: Vonda cooked. I was like, yes, Wonda. It was so
Speaker 1: crazy that I called her the week before and I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, Vonda, She's like her first words out
Speaker 1: of her mouth work I got you for Thanksgiving. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, bye, she knew all this I was
Speaker 1: calling to be like. So we had traditional blackly black
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving affair, like macaroni cheese, color greens and candied yims.
Speaker 1: I asked her to do a fright a small fried turkey,
Speaker 1: which was I don't even like turkey, lamb, you know,
Speaker 1: so potato salad, corn bread. It was really good. And
Speaker 1: although we couldn't, you know, like hang out with my parents,
Speaker 1: I did bring them some food the next day, all
Speaker 1: massed up, you know, yeah, and then we did Zoom too.
Speaker 1: So but you know, it's just hard because Thanksgiving is
Speaker 1: really one of the houses where we really do truly
Speaker 1: all get together. My sister usually flies up from Chicago
Speaker 1: with the baby and her husband because his family also
Speaker 1: lives in them in Jersey too, so it just feels weird,
Speaker 1: not you know, not connecting, although it was nice to
Speaker 1: see folks.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was. You know, we had zoom playing for
Speaker 2: like the birthday. Honestly it was more birthday than Thanksgiving here,
Speaker 2: but we did. I made like sweet potato souflet and
Speaker 2: I made a turkey breast, but you know, we have
Speaker 2: it was our Enrique's families Dominicans, and we had a
Speaker 2: big old like the pernal was the center of the table,
Speaker 2: just a big old What's a pernill is roasted pork
Speaker 2: and it's.
Speaker 1: And I do love. I'm not gonna lie. No. I
Speaker 1: always say like I don't really eat pork, but you
Speaker 1: put a delaized ham in front of me, Like it's
Speaker 1: one of those things like I don't really eat oh
Speaker 1: but that I eat that. Yeah, I eat that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. His mom makes the best perennial. So she made
Speaker 2: the perenial and I knew she was bringing it. So
Speaker 2: I made a very tiny, sad turkey breast, but just
Speaker 2: you know, just to tick that box. But really, what
Speaker 2: I spent the most time doing was baking and fulfilling
Speaker 2: every ambition I had of being on any baking show.
Speaker 2: And I can confirm I could not be a baker.
Speaker 2: I don't know how bakers do it day in and
Speaker 2: day out. I never want to see cake again. And
Speaker 2: if you are fortunate enough to be a neighbor, you
Speaker 2: have gotten at least half a pound of cake delivered
Speaker 2: to you, because we had that much cake left over.
Speaker 2: But I was pretty proud. I was. I made, I made.
Speaker 2: I made him a sloth shaped birthday cake and it
Speaker 2: was a labor of love. And he tore it the
Speaker 2: heck apart right away.
Speaker 1: Oh. First of all, I was like, that cake looked
Speaker 1: like I was like, wait, is that what Nandy was
Speaker 1: working on? Because I saw I think you did a
Speaker 1: story where you showed like, you know, you were working
Speaker 1: on the cake, and I was like, oh, what is
Speaker 1: this gonna be? It looks so good. I'm not gonna lie,
Speaker 1: you know how. It's like, you know what they asked for,
Speaker 1: what they got.
Speaker 2: No, it looked like I was afraid you posting like
Speaker 2: a nailed it.
Speaker 1: Yes, no, but it looks so good. I was like, Wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: you did an excellent job. Yeah. Mean, while I'm over
Speaker 1: here like plug so I'm doing my well, y'all know,
Speaker 1: I've been doing IVA for like a thousand years. So
Speaker 1: this cycle that I'm doing is like a test cycle
Speaker 1: because I've got one little embryo left. But they want
Speaker 1: to do like a test cycle because I guess when
Speaker 1: they when they implant an embryo, it can be like
Speaker 1: one of two days that are your ideal days. And usually,
Speaker 1: you know, they kind of guesstimate, and because people have
Speaker 1: like twenty thirty embryos, they're like, oh, well, just guesstimate,
Speaker 1: you know. But with me, they're like, girl, we cannot guesstimate.
Speaker 1: So instead they put you through the cycle. We're putting
Speaker 1: me through the cycle. They do it. It's literally called
Speaker 1: the mock cycle where I have to go in tomorrow
Speaker 1: day one and they're going to test my lining. You
Speaker 1: do its lining, and then I have to go on
Speaker 1: day two so they can see, oh, Tiffany's a day
Speaker 1: two girl. You know. But when I tell you, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I honestly didn't eat that much during Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: I stopped at like six thirty. I had one plate.
Speaker 1: I just wasn't like, you know, super like, I wasn't
Speaker 1: super hungry. And then but I have been putting on
Speaker 1: weight like crazy. So finally I called them. I was like,
Speaker 1: is it is this? This is this the estrogen? And
Speaker 1: they're like, oh yeah, girl, cause I'm like, I bot
Speaker 1: like five pounds and like a week and a half
Speaker 1: and I've been intimate and fasting, walking and drinking my
Speaker 1: apple side of vinegarl I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh lord, so it is.
Speaker 1: But thankfully, I mean like after these two, I'll you know,
Speaker 1: they'll probably take like a month before I start to
Speaker 1: cycle for real, for real, so I'll be able to
Speaker 1: come down because they had I'm taking estrogen four different ways,
Speaker 1: so there's like a patch, there's a shot that I take,
Speaker 1: there's a pill, and then there's a the pository and
Speaker 1: I'm just like so it's like, I know, fun times,
Speaker 1: You're like, this.
Speaker 2: Is poor y'all came to the right show if you're
Speaker 2: a new listener.
Speaker 1: I know, but where's our friend MS who don't want
Speaker 1: to hear about my U doors Hey right.
Speaker 2: Well now she knows about my plot the ducks okay,
Speaker 2: and they are people and I don't have any cabbage leaves,
Speaker 2: but yeah.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so it's just the horrible like it's I
Speaker 1: guess I'm just like pumped, pumped, pumped for the hormone.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I was just I'm not like, you know,
Speaker 1: like weepy or anything like that, but I definitely have
Speaker 1: been like super tired. And like I said, I'm like
Speaker 1: gaining weight when I haven't been eating like crazy salt.
Speaker 1: That's fun times. I just hope that, like you know,
Speaker 1: so say it prayer if you believe in prayer. But
Speaker 1: like you know, this time around looks like I said,
Speaker 1: it's just a mock. But then the next time I
Speaker 1: do my cycles really like kind of like our last
Speaker 1: hurrah with IVF, and then after that we would just
Speaker 1: I guess, try naturally, I know.
Speaker 2: So it's like I hear there's My sister in law
Speaker 2: came downstairs, her staying with us, which has been amazing.
Speaker 2: They she came downstairs today and she was like, there's
Speaker 2: going to be a lunar eclips tonight, so you should,
Speaker 2: you know, if you want to say and intention it's
Speaker 2: a good time. I was like, what, apparently around the
Speaker 2: lunar eclipse is when it's a good I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's a good time to make like a resolution or
Speaker 2: like hope for something in the future. So tonight I'm
Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna think about your embryo and you're u
Speaker 2: dinglining and it won't be weird all.
Speaker 1: My mother was like, I'm a prayer worri, don'torry, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna talk to Jesus.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, okay, thanks for sometimes you just gotta.
Speaker 2: I don't pray that often. But I remember when when
Speaker 2: Rio was being born and he didn't want to come,
Speaker 2: and they were coming at me with that knife, not really,
Speaker 2: not literally, but they were threatening in the sea section.
Speaker 2: I was like, hey, baby, it's time anyway, Well, no
Speaker 2: one has been through it more than you have. It
Speaker 2: seems it's it's just and you've handled it with such
Speaker 2: a grace. And I know it hasn't. I mean obviously
Speaker 2: it's been like ups and downs and ups and downs,
Speaker 2: and I'm really proud, really proud of you. You've been
Speaker 2: so tough. If this baby, if his name is ain't miracle,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you better never talk about this. Better
Speaker 1: be the most the sweetest, non crying baby.
Speaker 2: We were talking about pressure on first generation babies, what
Speaker 2: about like the last embryo babies, Like do you know.
Speaker 1: Like you want the last? Oh god, my okay, like
Speaker 1: this you gotta bring me home a B plus didn't
Speaker 1: know what I had to do. I just pray that
Speaker 1: he doesn't have a big head like my husband, because
Speaker 1: Lord have mercy.
Speaker 2: Oh God, well, you know they start out small, they do.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, I know, but I heard he was born
Speaker 1: with that big nugget. I was like, Lord, c section
Speaker 1: for me. No, but no. I mean, honestly, it's been good,
Speaker 1: just been despite all the pandemic and all the I
Speaker 1: just feel like in such a better space. So many
Speaker 1: of y'all have reached out to Stephanie from Navy psych
Speaker 1: the therapist Finder. I just spoke with my one of
Speaker 1: my friends today. She was like, oh my gosh, she
Speaker 1: was amazing. I spoke to my other friend. He was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, he's like, did you cry. I'm like,
Speaker 1: of course I cried, Like because you do like a
Speaker 1: session with her and then she figures out like you
Speaker 1: like what you need. Like one of my friends from college,
Speaker 1: she was like, she takes like meds and she was like, okay,
Speaker 1: you need a therapist that is also a psycho therapist,
Speaker 1: so that way understands like what meds are going to
Speaker 1: you know, like how meds are interacting with with your hormones,
Speaker 1: you know, and other things that you have going on. Stephanie.
Speaker 1: Is just amazing because to be able to have a
Speaker 1: therapist kind of like listen, hear you, understand and then
Speaker 1: pair you because sometimes you don't even know what you need.
Speaker 1: I just have to say, like that was just and
Speaker 1: just to hear the feedback from like so many people
Speaker 1: hitting me up, it was just it's just been amazing.
Speaker 1: And I feel like in such a better space because
Speaker 1: I start with my I start with my person that
Speaker 1: she connected me with December eleventh, So I'm like so
Speaker 1: jazzed about it because it's been three years we've been
Speaker 1: talking about it, and so to say like it's happening,
Speaker 1: it's happening, so so happy. Yeah, it's just thank you.
Speaker 2: I text my therapist when he stopped breastfinger. I was
Speaker 2: like Laura, She's like, it's ye, we'll talk about it
Speaker 2: on Thursday. That's just the relationship I have with my therapist. No, well,
Speaker 2: that's amazing. And for people who maybe you didn't hear
Speaker 2: that episode or you forgot NAVI, it's called NAVI psych
Speaker 2: right and av.
Speaker 1: I p s y c 's Her name is Stephanie
Speaker 1: I don't get a name money, so you know, yeah, we.
Speaker 2: Don't get me just awesome, But yeah, don't she just
Speaker 2: have her on the show, So that'd be dope, and
Speaker 2: that would be so she's like, yeah, she's a connector.
Speaker 2: She'll talk to you, interview you, and then match you
Speaker 2: with a therapist. And she works nationwide. Yep, she works nationwide,
Speaker 2: and she's a therapist herself, which is awesome. And then
Speaker 2: she just also has like a wide pool of therapists
Speaker 2: and places that she pulls from. But you know, like
Speaker 2: how teachers have a ton of teacher friends, she also
Speaker 2: has a lot of therapists people like in her personal network.
Speaker 2: So she's also using that network to be like, do
Speaker 2: you know somebody who and she what I love too.
Speaker 2: It's not just the connection. She also like takes your
Speaker 2: insurance information, so if you're like I really need a
Speaker 2: therapist that works with my insurance, she will find that
Speaker 2: match as well. So it's like honestly awesome, all around amazing.
Speaker 2: We'll put a link to NAVI psych and our show
Speaker 2: notes and yeah, if it's never too late to start
Speaker 2: your mental health journey, and you know, maybe we can
Speaker 2: plug our partner better help if you want like a
Speaker 2: nice way and easy way to enter entry point into therapy.
Speaker 2: I know my sisters used Better Help, which is an
Speaker 2: online talk therapy service, and it's just it's never too late.
Speaker 2: And this year, and I think it's the same realization
Speaker 2: I had after Rio's first birthday, which is like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: we're still in this pandemic and it's been a year.
Speaker 2: And I think even just like having someone to talk
Speaker 2: to and reflect on how the last year, how things
Speaker 2: have you know, been so crazy, it's just so so helpful.
Speaker 2: So we hope that y'all are taking care of your
Speaker 2: mental health and whatever way you can. And that's a yeah,
Speaker 2: thanks for sharing that resource.
Speaker 1: To no problem, anything else you want to chat about,
Speaker 1: and if you guys, if you need like a little
Speaker 1: because I know it's a little crazy. I mean, although
Speaker 1: we know who won the election and I know it's
Speaker 1: a little crazy, I still have to plug. Like I
Speaker 1: love that Instagram account. Neil what's his nast name? He
Speaker 1: is a he's a Supreme Court attorney. I think that's
Speaker 1: what he says. But he is Neil Katal k a
Speaker 1: t y out Neil Kata. He's a supreme a Supreme
Speaker 1: Court lawyer, a law professor, and he's a former acting
Speaker 1: Solicitor General. So this guy is just like all and
Speaker 1: he said he argued forty one cases in front of RBG,
Speaker 1: so he's just brilliant. But what he does is every
Speaker 1: day he does like this mini like episode on Instagram
Speaker 1: called court Side, and I listened to it to call
Speaker 1: my political nerves because he breaks down in layman's terms,
Speaker 1: what's happening as far as like you know, like the
Speaker 1: the with what's happening with the former administration their refusal
Speaker 1: to accept defeat, and but also like what's actually happening
Speaker 1: in the court system, like what what you know, what
Speaker 1: what's being handed down? You know, what's what? What's actually happening.
Speaker 1: Like it's one thing that the current administration will say
Speaker 1: on TV of fraud, fraud, fraud, but then when they
Speaker 1: actually file the paperwork in court, they don't say fraud
Speaker 1: because you can actually be liable and go to jail
Speaker 1: for that. So it's just like if you for me,
Speaker 1: I'm someone who you know, there was a lot of
Speaker 1: worry for me, but that page helped to calm my
Speaker 1: nerves because I get to hear from this like you know,
Speaker 1: legal perspective, what's actually happening, no spin, no whatever, but like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is what happened in court today. Great, good to know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Neil Kata, that's my dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love him. I followed him once you mentioned
Speaker 2: him on the last show.
Speaker 1: He's isn't he good?
Speaker 2: He's really good? And this is a good time to
Speaker 2: plug and promise we'll go to questions after this. But
Speaker 2: I have to plug. The Georgia Senate runoff election is
Speaker 2: fun ning. So if you haven't requested your mail in ballot,
Speaker 2: go ahead because the election is happening in the first
Speaker 2: week of January. So if you're planning any holiday travel,
Speaker 2: just get it done, get it out of the way.
Speaker 2: I'm already harassing. I've cast an even wider net this
Speaker 2: time in terms of who I am badgering in my
Speaker 2: family in Georgia. But this Senate race is so so important.
Speaker 2: And as a quick reminder, there's two Senate seats up
Speaker 2: for grabs in Georgia at the same time, which is
Speaker 2: very rare. And these two seats, if Democrats lose them,
Speaker 2: you know we're really in trouble. I think that if
Speaker 2: there hasn't been one takeaway from the Trump administration. It's
Speaker 2: that if the Democrats or the party that you want
Speaker 2: in power doesn't control the House and Senate, then really
Speaker 2: policies that you want to get past just won't go anywhere.
Speaker 2: So you really need you know, Tiffany and I are
Speaker 2: obviously progressive Democrat leaning, but we really need the majority
Speaker 2: in the Senate. So if you know anyone in Georgia,
Speaker 2: please let them know to go out there and vote.
Speaker 2: We need big, big turnout. So you can check out
Speaker 2: I will vote dot com. It's a fantastic resource. It
Speaker 2: has all the information you'll need on voting locations and
Speaker 2: early mail in ballots and all that jazz. We'll put
Speaker 2: a link to the notes in our podcast. And even
Speaker 2: if it's not you, but you have a friend, a cousin,
Speaker 2: an uncle, coworker, whatever in Georgia, it doesn't hurt. It's
Speaker 2: not pushy. I mean a little bit pushy, but it
Speaker 2: doesn't hurt to remind them of key dates and deadlines
Speaker 2: and hold them a tiny bit countable.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay. And that is the tea, the tea
Speaker 1: with Mandy and Tiffany. Oh.
Speaker 2: I like that. I like that' spin off show. You'll
Speaker 2: be right back with some of y'all's questions. All right,
Speaker 2: we are back y'all with your questions again. You can
Speaker 2: hit us up with your questions. We love you hear them.
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition Podcast on Instagram. We're also Brown Ambition Podcast
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com if you want to email us.
Speaker 2: The old fashion way, but here, let's take a question
Speaker 2: from Instagram. This comes from listener Mika. I think I
Speaker 2: pronounced that right. Yep. She gave me a ooh, very
Speaker 2: handy finetic spelling of her name, Mika. Mika says, my
Speaker 2: man and I are so proud that we've saved ten
Speaker 2: thousand dollars for our wedding. This is the number that
Speaker 2: I had in mind for what I wanted to budget
Speaker 2: for a low key event. We've been together for eight
Speaker 2: years and our domestic partners in California. It's almost like
Speaker 2: you're married. I don't see us getting married for a
Speaker 2: couple of years.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: Where would you recommend we keep this nugget of cash
Speaker 2: for a happy day. I was thinking of setting it
Speaker 2: aside in a stock market index fund. Love you and
Speaker 2: tips so much. Thank you for your hard work and
Speaker 2: I think, possibly most of all, sharing your humanity while
Speaker 2: still being a boss ow Meca. Yeah, it's a really
Speaker 2: good question, and I think a lot of couples might
Speaker 2: be in this situation. If you were planning to get
Speaker 2: married this year, you might have like a little pocket
Speaker 2: of cash that you were oh that was my phone
Speaker 2: being dropped on the floor. Sorry, pocketive cash, you know
Speaker 2: that is on hold, Yeah, until you get married next
Speaker 2: year or the year after. This is interesting so with
Speaker 2: any kind of investing, because you're talking about, you know,
Speaker 2: taking this ten K and putting it in the market.
Speaker 2: For me personally, the time horizon, even though it's two
Speaker 2: years out, is pretty short, and I don't gonna say
Speaker 2: that yeah right, I mean two years is still you know,
Speaker 2: especially with the market. We're not done with this economic
Speaker 2: crisis that we're in. I know, the market has made
Speaker 2: a huge comeback this week. I think my four and
Speaker 2: one K was like, grow you up fifteen percent. I
Speaker 2: was like, thank you. But it's been up and down
Speaker 2: and up and down, and I think it will continue
Speaker 2: to be that way, you know, in the coming months.
Speaker 2: So who knows what could happen. I personally don't think
Speaker 2: that's the best move for something that you're going to
Speaker 2: want to pull out and especially I know how weddings work.
Speaker 2: I'm an expert. I was married. Well, any any big event,
Speaker 2: you don't always pay the day of your weddings. Even
Speaker 2: though your wedding dates two years out. Your wedding deposits
Speaker 2: might have to go down within a year, you know.
Speaker 2: So I and you're and you're buying stuff up until
Speaker 2: the day, especially if it's a low key event, you're
Speaker 2: doing your own flowers or whatnot. I think you just
Speaker 2: park it in a high yield you know, savings account,
Speaker 2: maybe a CD, but even that again maybe not over
Speaker 2: a year because otherwise you're gonna lock it up and
Speaker 2: you'll pay a fee if you take it out earlier
Speaker 2: with the CD, and rates aren't that hot and right
Speaker 2: now anyway. So yeah, that's anything you want to add
Speaker 2: to that tip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, like Emmy, if you are really
Speaker 1: itching to do a little something, to Mandy's point, like
Speaker 1: you know you're gonna be paying for things before. It's
Speaker 1: not like that Dada wedding day. Here's my ten thousand.
Speaker 1: But if you are itching to say, but I want
Speaker 1: to do a little something, maybe take a quarter of it,
Speaker 1: like twenty five hundred and maybe if you were gonna
Speaker 1: put it in an index fund if it means that
Speaker 1: much to you, to see if you can get something
Speaker 1: out of it. But yeah, two years is kind of
Speaker 1: a short time horizon. Ideally, you like, you know, three
Speaker 1: to five years minimum to really see if your money's
Speaker 1: gonna move and shake. And although because I saw this
Speaker 1: on ig and I'm not gonna lie, it grated my gears.
Speaker 1: Is that what Peter from Mom Family Guy says? This
Speaker 1: greats my gears. Grinds my gears? Yes, right, so it
Speaker 1: grinded my gears. It was this guy who was an
Speaker 1: investor and clearly, you know, pretty savvy. He was like,
Speaker 1: my investments are up a thousand percent since the beginning
Speaker 1: of the year. I told y'all don't save and to
Speaker 1: invest your money anyway and to invest your money instead.
Speaker 1: And I wanted to like throw the phone that because like,
Speaker 1: great for you. But if someone invested without doing any
Speaker 1: sort of savings in the beginning of the year and
Speaker 1: their money didn't go up one thousand percent instead it
Speaker 1: was down you know, ten twenty percent, because maybe they
Speaker 1: chose individual stocks and you know, they just didn't choose
Speaker 1: stocks that went up, and now they have kids to feed,
Speaker 1: so what are we saying. So I just like, investing
Speaker 1: is not the end all be all it's gonna save
Speaker 1: you from all the things. So it should never your
Speaker 1: You should never put money in that you absolutely need
Speaker 1: in the next ideally in the next five years. So so,
Speaker 1: like I said, if you are going to put a
Speaker 1: little something, maybe twenty five percent, twenty five hundred dollars
Speaker 1: and see where it goes. But knowing that, you know what,
Speaker 1: at least we have seventy five hundred that we can
Speaker 1: rock and roll with. But congratulations, that's you know, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: All right, Mika, thank you so much for your question.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening real quick. I wanted to you know,
Speaker 2: you guys send really lovely messages sometimes, and even though
Speaker 2: they're not questions, I thought it would be nice to
Speaker 2: like read one of them once in a while. So
Speaker 2: this is a note from one of our followers on
Speaker 2: IG named Melanie. She says, thank you for last week's
Speaker 2: episode when you all said it's okay not to be
Speaker 2: saving due to what's going on around us. Prior to this,
Speaker 2: I was doing a decent job and I was planning
Speaker 2: to pick it up this year, but furlough changed that
Speaker 2: but thank you for saying it's okay. We pressure ourselves
Speaker 2: sometimes and we just needed to hear that for her.
Speaker 1: Jeez, you're welcome because it is hard. I mean we
Speaker 1: were so hard. Like, no, you're not tasked to be
Speaker 1: find actually perfect. You're tasked to do the best you
Speaker 1: can with where you are, and sometimes the best you
Speaker 1: can is literally nothing. There are times that I was like,
Speaker 1: girl savings, I need to eat, Like what am I
Speaker 1: going to eat? You know? Or like you've made financial
Speaker 1: mistakes and you beat yourself up, and sometimes you're just like, well,
Speaker 1: how long are we going to do this? How long?
Speaker 1: I get it, I shouldn't have used my credit card
Speaker 1: to buy all those clothes. Okay, we're here now, now
Speaker 1: what so I just I'm literally sometimes I look in
Speaker 1: the mirror and I'm just like Tiffany, I get it,
Speaker 1: But how is this helpful? Like, you don't have to
Speaker 1: beat yourself up. It's not helpful. It's not healthy, And
Speaker 1: it's okay to take responsibility. This is something I think
Speaker 1: it was Stephanie who said this, Either Stephanie or doctor Green,
Speaker 1: who I'm working with now. I was sharing with her.
Speaker 1: I was so proud of myself. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm really self aware because I know that I mess
Speaker 1: up like this, and I mess up like that, and
Speaker 1: I did this. She's like, hmmm, I don't know that
Speaker 1: that's self awareness. It sounds like you're just critical of yourself.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what, because I was so proud
Speaker 1: that I easily point out every flaw of mine. And
Speaker 1: she's like, tiffany self aware is to see all sides
Speaker 1: of yourself, that you're aware of yourself as a complete,
Speaker 1: flawed but also fabulous human being. I don't hear any
Speaker 1: of the fabulous. And I was like, yeah, so next week.
Speaker 1: So I just think that that's important. That we are
Speaker 1: really hard on ourselves, and I think especially women, and
Speaker 1: I don't know, just giving you a big old financial hug.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be perfect. You just do the
Speaker 1: best that you can with what you have, and then
Speaker 1: when you have different than you do differently.
Speaker 2: I love that absolutely, And just give yourself grace, pretend
Speaker 2: like you're talking to a friend. I think we all
Speaker 2: could use. We all just need to give ourselves a break.
Speaker 2: I think that's been the hardest part of this year,
Speaker 2: is knowing when to just be like listen, done is
Speaker 2: better than perfect. Another day is in the books and
Speaker 2: you survived, and that's sometimes that's all you can, you know,
Speaker 2: expect of yourself. So yes, never here to set on
Speaker 2: realistic expectations. I don't want to do that for myself.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do it for y'all. I just
Speaker 2: think that is a recipe for just discontent, you know,
Speaker 2: and lack of joy, and it's no way to live.
Speaker 2: And I think the older I get, the more I
Speaker 2: realize that. All Right, Well, thank you for that message, Melanie.
Speaker 2: That was really sweet.
Speaker 1: Well we should do more of those. I like those.
Speaker 2: We like when y'all say nice stuff. Feel free. You
Speaker 2: don't have to just send us question, send us praise,
Speaker 2: send us prayse there any anecdotes, Yeah, you can hit
Speaker 2: us up, you know, Brand Ambition podcast on ig or
Speaker 2: Brand Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com. That's Oh, this
Speaker 2: is a good one tip because we were talking a
Speaker 2: little bit earlier about the pressures you know, children have
Speaker 2: with their parents, and this this reader or reader, this
Speaker 2: listener has a question about her parents. All right, she says,
Speaker 2: I'm thirty three and the eldest of three children. I'm
Speaker 2: also the only child that isn't married or has kids.
Speaker 2: Here's the issue I need advice on. My parents are
Speaker 2: over fifty. My mom is the primary bread winner slash
Speaker 2: bill pair and makes decent money in the healthcare field
Speaker 2: working as an independent contractor. Neither of my parents, though,
Speaker 2: currently has health insurance, life insurance, or has money set
Speaker 2: aside for retirement. My mom does have about twenty K
Speaker 2: and savings because she has to pay her business taxes.
Speaker 2: How do I get them to start thinking about setting
Speaker 2: money aside and what types of investment slash retirement accounts
Speaker 2: should they be looking into. I feel like I'll be
Speaker 2: the one responsible for their care when they're no longer
Speaker 2: able to care for themselves, and think that if they
Speaker 2: have even a small nest egg, it will help me
Speaker 2: sleep better at night.
Speaker 1: Thank you woof.
Speaker 2: This is this one can mean deep, This one's real.
Speaker 2: This is a I feel her, I feel the weight
Speaker 2: of responsibility on her shoulders, and part of me just
Speaker 2: wants to grab it off, be like it's not your job.
Speaker 1: But I think, well, I can understand because it's hard,
Speaker 1: because it's like, ah, oh, you gotta like because it's
Speaker 1: like do I let my parents flounder?
Speaker 2: And you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like even Oh, it's not your job to take care
Speaker 1: of them. I think you'd be hard for US press
Speaker 1: to find a kid that if their parents needed them
Speaker 1: in desperate times, what do you do? So I'm reading
Speaker 1: this book called one of my new favorite authors right now.
Speaker 1: His name is Jonah Berger. I read his book called
Speaker 1: The Catalysts. No, I read his book called Contagious you know,
Speaker 1: how ideas Stick or something to that point. It was
Speaker 1: really good, Like if you're into like business and marketing
Speaker 1: and excellent read. Well I listened to it via audible,
Speaker 1: but still whatever that's reading. So now I'm reading The Catalyst,
Speaker 1: and the Catalyst is how to change anyone's mind. So
Speaker 1: what's her name?
Speaker 2: Anonymous?
Speaker 1: Anonymous? You can call her Sarah, right, So Sarah. One
Speaker 1: of the things that Jonah talks about is finding what
Speaker 1: he calls the movable middle. So if you are the
Speaker 1: extreme on one side of like a say like a
Speaker 1: I don't know, the tennis court or a football field,
Speaker 1: and your parents are on the other side, So your
Speaker 1: extreme is like have all the responsible financial things intact,
Speaker 1: and they're over here, like, look, I'm just living day
Speaker 1: to day because fifty is still young.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like well, people are usually able to shift like
Speaker 1: either to the left or to the right of what
Speaker 1: their middle is. But if you are super far off
Speaker 1: in one direction or the other, it's really hard to
Speaker 1: figure out what that middle is for them. So maybe
Speaker 1: the middle is I got her to open up an
Speaker 1: online only savings account.
Speaker 2: Great.
Speaker 1: So what happens with the movable middle is that if
Speaker 1: before she was saving nothing, but now she has an
Speaker 1: online only savings account, you have moved the middle. Now
Speaker 1: opening a savings account is not that far from opening
Speaker 1: a CD. Now you've moved the middle a little closer
Speaker 1: to you. Now opening a CD is not that far
Speaker 1: from getting her to open up a retirement account. Do
Speaker 1: you see? You can start to shift where the middle
Speaker 1: is and get closer and closure to your side of
Speaker 1: the field. So figuring out what's the movable middle? What
Speaker 1: I used to say with them, for like people who
Speaker 1: would reach out to me about their significant other is
Speaker 1: I would say, find the common denominator, find something that
Speaker 1: they're that they're already in a gre like with Superman,
Speaker 1: he was not a good saver, he wasn't an overspender,
Speaker 1: but he was an overgiver. He gave away all his
Speaker 1: money and the only thing that we could both agree
Speaker 1: upon was Supergirl, his daughter my bonus baby is that
Speaker 1: he always agreed we should put a set aside money
Speaker 1: for her. So I started there. It was like a
Speaker 1: year of like, yeah, I know you want to give
Speaker 1: such and such a cousin all your money, but did
Speaker 1: we put money in Supergirl's account? Oh no, I didn't. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know I'm gonna do that instead, and I'd be like, whoof.
Speaker 1: So from there that was a movable middle. So if
Speaker 1: I can convince him to save for Supergirl, then I
Speaker 1: can convince him the say for vacation, that I can
Speaker 1: convince him the safe for a wedding, that I could
Speaker 1: convince the safe for a house, and then you see
Speaker 1: what I mean Now, like Superman and I are like
Speaker 1: talking about investing and buying the next investment property. But
Speaker 1: I had to slowly but surely find the movable middle.
Speaker 1: And now he's living on budget list Island.
Speaker 2: Doesn't even know how he came there. I know, and
Speaker 2: at only there talking about his manipulation. But I love it,
Speaker 2: but in a good way for their own benefit.
Speaker 1: But I don't even feel bad about it. They need it,
Speaker 1: so for your parents, I would just say, find find
Speaker 1: common denominator, the movable middle, an inch toward that, don't
Speaker 1: don't try to drag them all the way over to
Speaker 1: your side.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The part that hit me deep is this feeling
Speaker 2: of if they don't get it, then I'm the one
Speaker 2: they're going to fall back on. And as the as
Speaker 2: a young woman in a family, the eldest of three,
Speaker 2: she says, with no children. I think society has shown
Speaker 2: when you're the daughter in a family, even if you
Speaker 2: have kids and a whole husband or a wife or whatever,
Speaker 2: like a lot of the you know, responsibility of caring
Speaker 2: for elderly parents does fall on the on the female
Speaker 2: children's shoulders. So I think that that's a real risk
Speaker 2: and a real fear, and I think that I understand
Speaker 2: that stress. And also you're my exact same age. I
Speaker 2: see this happening to my elder sister. She's married, but
Speaker 2: she doesn't have children, and you know, she's she's the
Speaker 2: one people don't mind bothering because like what she got
Speaker 2: going on but is not fair, which is not fair.
Speaker 2: And I will say, you know, to Tiffany's point too,
Speaker 2: I have been I mean, I remember going back to
Speaker 2: when I was a little girl. My mom smoked, like
Speaker 2: all all of the older people in my family smoked.
Speaker 2: But I used to hide her cigarettes. I'd hide her
Speaker 2: pack of misty menthol lights. I would take the whole
Speaker 2: box and put at the top of the closet where
Speaker 2: she couldn't find it. I tried to get to quit.
Speaker 2: I would like post pictures of charred cancer written lungs
Speaker 2: around the house when I did science projects. None of
Speaker 2: that extreme, like extreme work on my baby. My baby
Speaker 2: shoulders did much. It was maybe too much in the
Speaker 2: other direction. My mom had to just come to that,
Speaker 2: you know, realization on her own. So I do feel
Speaker 2: like you you can, you can state your case and
Speaker 2: tell them how you feel. But coming on too strong
Speaker 2: is what I'm trying to get at. That's that's been
Speaker 2: my downfall in the past. But to Tiffany's point, the
Speaker 2: comment denominator thing, I think is going to be important,
Speaker 2: and I think you need to make it about them
Speaker 2: and not so much about you personally. I have kind
Speaker 2: of played that, oh well, if you don't get this
Speaker 2: under you know, under control, then you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: rely me. And that didn't go over so hot. They
Speaker 2: got pretty defensive. The thing about parents when they're older,
Speaker 2: is they get really defensive when like you try to
Speaker 2: parent them, at least in my experience, So if you
Speaker 2: come at them like I need to take care of
Speaker 2: you because you can't take care of yourself, I've got
Speaker 2: a feeling you're going to get some pushback because you know,
Speaker 2: to their credit, they're they're surviving. Maybe they don't have
Speaker 2: everything you want them to have, but they're taking care
Speaker 2: of themselves. They have you know, stable income and setting
Speaker 2: aside money for taxes and all that. So maybe you know,
Speaker 2: make start talking to them more about maybe their their future,
Speaker 2: you know, where they see themselves as retiring. But I
Speaker 2: don't know if you agree what really for whatever, what
Speaker 2: really scares me about her question is the fact that
Speaker 2: they don't have health insurance and they're in their fifties
Speaker 2: Like that to me is quite terrifying. And I get
Speaker 2: it because look, she her her mother's an independent contractor
Speaker 2: and they probably you know, they earn a decent income,
Speaker 2: and those health care plans on the marketplace are very expensive.
Speaker 2: So if you don't get insurance, they can be very
Speaker 2: so if you don't qualify for subsidies, right, and I know,
Speaker 2: I do know people who are you know, small business
Speaker 2: owners or entrepreneurs, and they just forego the insurance, they
Speaker 2: take the tax hit or is there tax penalty? I
Speaker 2: forget did the Republicans get rid of that? Actually no,
Speaker 2: I think that was one of the cornerstones of the
Speaker 2: Obamacare Act that actually Republicans took away with that tax hit.
Speaker 2: But anyway, regardless, it's it's expensive to get healthcare, but
Speaker 2: that is probably the biggest risk to their financial future.
Speaker 2: And I would just say I didn't read this part
Speaker 2: of her question, but she mentions that she's helped them,
Speaker 2: like by becoming that's just my dog freaking out. She's
Speaker 2: helped them by becoming a co signer on their mortgage.
Speaker 2: I would just be super careful to not like, because
Speaker 2: you know, worse comes to worse if they get a
Speaker 2: bunch of medical debt and debt collectors. Calm. You don't
Speaker 2: want to put your own financial security at risk. So
Speaker 2: make sure that whatever you know, you need to put
Speaker 2: your life jacket on first, or what is it, put
Speaker 2: your life your oxygen oxygen.
Speaker 1: Mask, yes, for your life decket oxygenation.
Speaker 2: Mask covers and take and make sure that you're not
Speaker 2: setting yourself up to get dragged down, you know, with them.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that that lack of health care is maybe
Speaker 2: where I would start, because that, to me is the
Speaker 2: biggest risk as they get as they get older. It's
Speaker 2: it can be truly. I mean, one hospital visit can
Speaker 2: set you back tens of thousands of dollars, you know,
Speaker 2: for something innocuous, and that that's as you get older.
Speaker 2: There's just so much risk there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I would say this too, is that one
Speaker 1: of the things that like, you know, I got from
Speaker 1: the book The catalyst, is that when you are trying
Speaker 1: to push someone in a direction, there in the act
Speaker 1: natural reaction is to push back. You know that a
Speaker 1: true catalyst creates an environment where the person changes of
Speaker 1: their own free will. So asking yourself, like, how can
Speaker 1: I create an environment where I'm not like you need
Speaker 1: a pulling you along? You need to do this, You
Speaker 1: need to do that instead of creating environment where it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, mom, you know I just signed up.
Speaker 1: I just use them the health Care your website or
Speaker 1: policy Genius, which is like a website that many and
Speaker 1: I have both used. I think you used it for
Speaker 1: your dad, right, Mandy, And I used it for myself.
Speaker 1: Before I got married.
Speaker 2: Oh, Policy Genius actually used them, I used I did
Speaker 2: use them to shop for my life insurance policy. Ended
Speaker 2: up using Quote Wizard. But they're basically an insurance marketplace.
Speaker 2: You can look up all kinds of types of insurance
Speaker 2: through them, health, life, frontal, pet, everything.
Speaker 1: And so maybe you just maybe one of the things
Speaker 1: is like the hurdle, like that's what's keeping folks back
Speaker 1: because it's sometimes it's hard to like, ugh, I don't
Speaker 1: want to do a thing because all the work that
Speaker 1: I see it's involved. So if you become a catalyst
Speaker 1: by making the environment super easy by saying, Okay, how
Speaker 1: can I remove some of the hurdles that she might
Speaker 1: have in mind for getting health insurance by doing most
Speaker 1: of the preliminary work ahead of time, because you're right,
Speaker 1: it is kind of scary, and you know, unfortunately sometimes
Speaker 1: you know, we have to take care of our parents
Speaker 1: the way they took care of us. So good luck
Speaker 1: to you, and you know, if you want, like I said,
Speaker 1: Catalysts by Jonah Berger was so good. I mean halfway
Speaker 1: through it. But it's really teaching me how to not
Speaker 1: be so pushy and instead create an environment where you know,
Speaker 1: people get to make decisions for themselves, and hopefully they
Speaker 1: turned my way.
Speaker 2: No, I'm listening to you talk about it. I know
Speaker 2: it's like a business book, but I'm thinking of all
Speaker 2: the ways I use that those those tactics. Talking to
Speaker 2: family who voted for Trump last election, including my own
Speaker 2: mother who she did not vote for him this time around.
Speaker 2: She voted for Biden. Not only that, but homegirl had
Speaker 2: a Biden Harris sign in her front front yard, got
Speaker 2: Michelle Obama's book, and put a Black Lives Matter sign
Speaker 2: in her front yard and for her area in Saint Louis.
Speaker 2: That was that was a big deal. So and the way,
Speaker 2: you know, I had to and I thought back in
Speaker 2: that little girl with the with the cancer lung pictures
Speaker 2: and all like like, maybe we should try things a
Speaker 2: little bit differently this time, Mandy, and not like, you know,
Speaker 2: go so hard. But it was a four year obviously,
Speaker 2: and it was having really slow, safe conversations around around
Speaker 2: politics and her beliefs and race and my feelings and
Speaker 2: stuff and on. I had to really tamp down my emotions.
Speaker 2: My little brother and I both and my sister too,
Speaker 2: you know, put our emotions aside, be open to hearing
Speaker 2: her say some you know, things that we did not
Speaker 2: agree with, and slowly but surely chip chip chip away,
Speaker 2: and so yeah, that's that's interesting. And I I think
Speaker 2: with and I think, you know, you're at an age
Speaker 2: two anonymous Sarah, where you're old enough to know, okay,
Speaker 2: I can't just like come in, you know, completely and
Speaker 2: just tell them what to do. It's got to be
Speaker 2: an open conversation setting, you know, creating a safe space,
Speaker 2: no judgment, and try to slowly but surely even just
Speaker 2: bringing up topics like insurance, like and understanding, you know,
Speaker 2: just kind of interviewing them and maybe see what hang
Speaker 2: ups they have or maybe why they aren't doing something.
Speaker 2: Sometimes just asking a simple question, you realize there's a
Speaker 2: barrier that they could easily fix. They just like, they
Speaker 2: just need to tell you what the barrier is. I
Speaker 2: remember I was talking to my aunt recently and she
Speaker 2: was like, she kept complaining about her cell phone reception
Speaker 2: and how her you know, she had no she couldn't
Speaker 2: never talk to people because it was so bad. She
Speaker 2: was trying to attend church on zoom and it would
Speaker 2: never her her cell phone was so bad. And I
Speaker 2: was like, do you have Internet? And she said no,
Speaker 2: it's too expensive, YadA YadA, And I was like, look,
Speaker 2: you're on public assistance. I'm going to look up a
Speaker 2: program and see if there's something in Georgia that can
Speaker 2: offer you affordable Wi Fi. And within a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks she had ten dollars a month.
Speaker 1: Wi Fi, you know.
Speaker 2: And it was all just from a sense of oh,
Speaker 2: this is the way it is. And I think, you know,
Speaker 2: just opening up that conversation with someone in your family
Speaker 2: to see maybe why it is that they're not doing
Speaker 2: something and listening and listening and then gently trying to
Speaker 2: help them find their way toward a solution can be
Speaker 2: the way. But I totally identify with this question, and
Speaker 2: I empathize with anyone out there looking at their parents
Speaker 2: and being like, oof, that's a problem.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yep. That was a good question. No, that
Speaker 1: was a good question.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you Sarah so much. All Right, y'all, that
Speaker 2: wraps it up for Q and as it's.
Speaker 1: Time for boost or break up? Boost up? Break up?
Speaker 1: Boost UPO are you gonna boost? Are you going to break?
Speaker 2: Well, Tiffany knows. I'm thinking on the fly here, I
Speaker 2: have a and it's gonna have multi multi mini boosts.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna boost supporting a local bookstore. I recently you
Speaker 2: can order books online from your local bookstores, y'all, and
Speaker 2: and they're so nice about the books that you order.
Speaker 2: I just ordered a few books from my local bookstore.
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to think, how can I support small businesses?
Speaker 2: To be honest, I feel a little guilty because I
Speaker 2: did a lot of shopping on Cyber Monday or Black Friday,
Speaker 2: whatever it was, because big, big retailers are having some
Speaker 2: pretty big sales. But anyway, so shop small if you
Speaker 2: can this holiday season and support local businesses. That's my
Speaker 2: first boost. And then I finally sat down and watched
Speaker 2: Jangle Jangle on Netflix last weekend.
Speaker 1: So good.
Speaker 2: When I say good, Tiffany, you got away. And I
Speaker 2: know you're not into TV and all kind of stuff,
Speaker 2: you got to watch this movie with Supergirl. You have to.
Speaker 2: It's so good. It's like it's it's like the it's
Speaker 2: like the fantasy.
Speaker 1: A Disney movie.
Speaker 2: It's not Disney, though, but it's like the fantasy film
Speaker 2: for children that we deserved as little black children in
Speaker 2: this country. There is oh like the plot, the quality,
Speaker 2: oh my god, everything from the hair just go for
Speaker 2: the hair, the makeup, and the music, but stay for
Speaker 2: the quality of the story because it is also good.
Speaker 2: The music was produced by John Legend. I don't know
Speaker 2: who did hair and makeup, but you'll never like these
Speaker 2: natural hairstyles that they created, these looks that they create
Speaker 2: on these beautiful black performers. The cast is mostly black
Speaker 2: and people of color. They're singing and dancing. And the
Speaker 2: storyline is so good. It's it's basically about an inventor,
Speaker 2: a famous inventor whose apprentice steals his steals his inventions,
Speaker 2: his his master playlist for inventions, and it kind of
Speaker 2: takes place like I don't know, like eighteen hundred z
Speaker 2: times and it kind of and it features the power
Speaker 2: of his daughter and her daughter, his granddaughter and helping
Speaker 2: him get back to finding his own magic as an inventor.
Speaker 2: And there is a little girl who plays the heroine
Speaker 2: of this movie. And she is like a mathematical genius
Speaker 2: and she is beautiful and she sings, and she is adorable,
Speaker 2: and there's like a little and her and her and
Speaker 2: her her sidekick. His name is Edison. It's like really
Speaker 2: adorable British black boy, like you don't see Carol, like,
Speaker 2: this is them. It was so good. I'm gonna shut
Speaker 2: up down, but it was amazing. And I hope there's
Speaker 2: sequels and three quools and all that because it was
Speaker 2: that that good. They really did that movie Justice.
Speaker 1: Ooh sounds like as a family. Yes, well, I'll do
Speaker 1: like a little bit of a oh. I guess this
Speaker 1: is kind of boost like and like another kind of
Speaker 1: like break, so boosting for I don't know, dude, did
Speaker 1: you watch an Unforgiven Dave Chappelle? Did we talk about it? No,
Speaker 1: we didn't. Did you see it on his ig page?
Speaker 2: Did I watch?
Speaker 1: Is it like one of his specials? So no, Unforgiven
Speaker 1: is like this twenty eighteen to twenty minute. I don't
Speaker 1: even call it special, just kind of like his audience
Speaker 1: chat that he posted. He's a master storyteller. But the
Speaker 1: purpose of the chat was to ask people, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've seen the signs where people are like
Speaker 1: where he says, like, don't watch Chappelle show. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've heard people talking about it. Okay, so
Speaker 1: so many people know that, you know. Years ago he
Speaker 1: signed a contract with Comedy Central and it was like
Speaker 1: a fifty million dollar contract. It was a banner contract.
Speaker 1: Chappelle Show was one of the most popular sketch shows
Speaker 1: in history ever made, but he walked away because he
Speaker 1: it wasn't in alignment with how he wanted to show up.
Speaker 1: I'm not certain of the of the specifics of why
Speaker 1: he walked away, but as a results of walking away,
Speaker 1: they kept, you know, they kept his creative property. And
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, I signed a contract, but it was
Speaker 1: a crappy contract. And so you know, we all know
Speaker 1: he's made a huge comeback. He has Netflix, He has
Speaker 1: a deal with Netflix. I think it's like sixty million dollars.
Speaker 1: And but now Comedy Central, which I think is owned
Speaker 1: by Viacom, has been like now that he's like out
Speaker 1: here shining again, they put took they leased or licensed
Speaker 1: Chappelle Show to Netflix and HBO to play. And he
Speaker 1: was pissed about it because he doesn't get any money,
Speaker 1: you know, like his blood, sweat and tears. You guys
Speaker 1: said that he was a loser, but not so much
Speaker 1: now that you want to use his you know, his
Speaker 1: intellectual property. And it was just a testament to why
Speaker 1: ownership is so important. Why you know, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys saw say the Last Dance where Scottie Pippen.
Speaker 1: He when he first signed his contract when he was
Speaker 1: a young basketball player. You know, he had many brothers
Speaker 1: and sisters and I think his father was sick, so
Speaker 1: he didn't sign the best deal. So even though he
Speaker 1: was six time winner, number two basketball player in the league,
Speaker 1: he was paid one hundred and twenty fifth or something
Speaker 1: crazy like that. So it's just things like that. That's
Speaker 1: just like it's it's a it's a boost in net
Speaker 1: to watch it, but it's a break to be because
Speaker 1: it's kind of sad how people and the industries take
Speaker 1: advantage of people use up all of their talent and
Speaker 1: their gifts and then not wanting to you know, not
Speaker 1: wanting to equitably pay folks even if you sign a contract.
Speaker 1: One thing that Dave said, He's like, I signed a contract,
Speaker 1: but does that make it right? Yeah, Like you know,
Speaker 1: like I remember I shared the story with you that
Speaker 1: there was a company where they I did something for
Speaker 1: them just for freaks. I thought it was a good thing.
Speaker 1: It was a it's a conference to help black women,
Speaker 1: and that's how they pulled me in. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what this sounds great. Not too many black
Speaker 1: women are doing, you know, are making courses. So they
Speaker 1: were like, oh, we'd love for you to to, you know,
Speaker 1: do this conference with us. And I said, sure, did
Speaker 1: the and I probably I did sign whatever, but I'm
Speaker 1: thinking like, yeah, to sign to say you can use
Speaker 1: my image for the conference. Like maybe a year later,
Speaker 1: I saw my image in an AD and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's this. I didn't agree to be in an ad
Speaker 1: And I remember it was in the CEO of CMO
Speaker 1: and he said, yes, you did. Did you get the contract?
Speaker 1: I was like wow. But the only thing that saved
Speaker 1: it was they want me to do other work with them.
Speaker 1: And I guess he thought about it because I was
Speaker 1: about to come back and be like, yo, it's a
Speaker 1: wrap for you because I'm one of well, I'll keep
Speaker 1: a like cause I don't want to see the company.
Speaker 1: But they came back. I was like, oh, but if
Speaker 1: you want us to take it down, I said, take
Speaker 1: it down, take it down, and then I proceeded when
Speaker 1: I got on the phone to be like honestly, the
Speaker 1: audacity and the gall like, don't do that. I did
Speaker 1: that conference in service to black women. You tricky shysting
Speaker 1: sheasters right, I couldn't believe it, right, But that's not
Speaker 1: the first time. There is this one company that reaches
Speaker 1: out every single year to all the financial folks so
Speaker 1: they can make their fake top ten lists, top ten
Speaker 1: financial advisors to follow. But then you read the contract, Mandy,
Speaker 1: and it says we can use your image any way,
Speaker 1: anyhow any It literally says anywhere in the universe, in
Speaker 1: perpetuity the universe. Let's Pluto, and I remember what, so
Speaker 1: I can be included in your list.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: That is their way of being able to take your
Speaker 1: image and use it however they want. And I remember, like,
Speaker 1: cause the first year I was so geek to do it.
Speaker 1: You know, of course I signed. I didn't even look
Speaker 1: at the contract. Really, I signed. And the second year
Speaker 1: they reached out, I read it and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this seems a little overreaching. Why doesn't it just say, hey,
Speaker 1: you gave us the right to use your picture to
Speaker 1: be one of the top ten people for this particular article.
Speaker 1: Why does it have to say all this? And they
Speaker 1: were like, oh, I said, well, I'm not signing. They're like, well,
Speaker 1: you signed the last year. I said, well, I'm not signing.
Speaker 1: This is crazy and then I looked, and so many
Speaker 1: of our friends were on the list. I'm sure or
Speaker 1: they didn't look because you know you don't you would
Speaker 1: never think. But now I am so careful, Like there
Speaker 1: are a bunch of projects that I've done that I've
Speaker 1: gone in and edited it myself and said, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,
Speaker 1: you cannot use my image anywhere in the universe in perpetuity.
Speaker 1: You can have me selling Colt forty five and ten
Speaker 1: years on your platform. So just being mindful of like
Speaker 1: ownership of your image and even as your whatever empire
Speaker 1: that you're building for yourself, being mindful of the decisions
Speaker 1: that you make now it would you be okay with
Speaker 1: with the terms five, ten, fifteen, twenty years from now.
Speaker 1: I have said no to so many air quote opportunities
Speaker 1: that seem huge in the moment, but in the long
Speaker 1: term I know that I would regret them. So just
Speaker 1: being mindful of that. So it's like a kind of
Speaker 1: like a boosty boosty I don't know if it's a break,
Speaker 1: but definitely like a boosty cautionary tale TAILI So that's it,
Speaker 1: And you haven't watched Unforgivable on Dave Chappelle's IG.
Speaker 2: You totally should I did not know he was doing
Speaker 2: like an IG series. That's dope. I love it. I
Speaker 2: did watch his interview with Dave Letterman just real quick
Speaker 2: on Netflix. He does reveal, I think, for the first time,
Speaker 2: why he walked away, like the incident that happened. Dave
Speaker 2: Letterman's a pretty good interview. I know he's problematic, but
Speaker 2: whatever Dave Chappelle. He it was something about there was
Speaker 2: a joke, there was a skit that he was doing,
Speaker 2: and it was at the expense of black people with
Speaker 2: a punchline and he said he someone in in the crew,
Speaker 2: like a white guy. The way that he laughed set
Speaker 2: Dave Chappelle off, and it was something like that. I
Speaker 2: really encourage all to check out his interview with Dave
Speaker 2: Letterman because it was really good and he really hadn't
Speaker 2: spoken about why he walked away from fifty million dollars
Speaker 2: and it was interesting to hear his perspective and I
Speaker 2: could watch him talk all day, so I will be
Speaker 2: checking out. Was it called unforgiven unforgivable?
Speaker 1: Yeah, unforgiven. I think it's unforgiven. It's it's just I
Speaker 1: don't even know that he's doing a series he just
Speaker 1: posted on his IG and it's just so masterfully told.
Speaker 2: It's just yeah awesome, alrighty, all right, Well that was
Speaker 2: a great boosty breaky. I love a good boosty breaky.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, me too.
Speaker 2: Alright, it's December, what the heck? Alright, you guys, I
Speaker 2: know we will see y'all next week. Let's finish out
Speaker 2: this year, right, just we're almost there, right there to
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one. I don't know what's on the other
Speaker 2: side of this particular rainbow of dumpster fires, but I
Speaker 2: hope it's something nice. I bet you it is. Stay positive,