WEBVTT - Ep 245 - Is It Time to Invest My Extra Savings?

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<v Speaker 2>Brownambissionstore dot com. Y'all, happy happy holidays.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey hey, hey we're back. We're black, We're Bread Ambitions.

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<v Speaker 1>You can tell you I could do like I'm doing a

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<v Speaker 1>soulder semmy. Can you hear it in my voice?

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<v Speaker 2>I was distracted by my own lack of like rhythm

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<v Speaker 2>when I was trying to go, and I harmonized. But

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<v Speaker 2>it's going to work out. Hello, Happy post Thanksgiving everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, how is your Thanksgiving?

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<v Speaker 2>Mandra It was a whirl ef and wind. Let me

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<v Speaker 2>just tell you, I feel like I'm still recuperating.

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<v Speaker 1>It was.

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<v Speaker 2>It was great, though it was as good as it

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<v Speaker 2>could have been with you know, the pandemic and Zoom

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<v Speaker 2>and all of that. But as y'all know, my baby's

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<v Speaker 2>first birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, and I would say

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<v Speaker 2>the prep work began a week before the big day.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I was baking cakes all weekend in preparation

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<v Speaker 2>for his birthday cake and then all the Thanksgiving food.

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<v Speaker 2>I just like did the most. But it was really nice.

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<v Speaker 2>We had We had my husband's brother and sister in law,

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<v Speaker 2>and then his mom came and then we had a

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<v Speaker 2>whole you know, a whole party on Zoom. But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>baby baby Rio had a magical first birthday. I will say, though,

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<v Speaker 2>do you ever get like after a big event you

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<v Speaker 2>feel like a little bit down afterward? I maybe it

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<v Speaker 2>was like all the adrenaline pumping, But the last few

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<v Speaker 2>days I have just been like ragged, raggedy, ragged ragged.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't really help matters that the day of his

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<v Speaker 2>first birthday. And if you're a new mom and you breastfeed,

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<v Speaker 2>like your baby you're nursing, you know, throughout the day,

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<v Speaker 2>all the time for the first year. That's what's recommended

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<v Speaker 2>by the experts. And I had always told myself, like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>after twelve months, if he's still into it, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll try to wean because I would like my boobs

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<v Speaker 2>back and like my freedom to not have to be,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, around all the time. And I thought it

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<v Speaker 2>would be a long process and like I was gonna

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<v Speaker 2>have to ease him out of it because oh, he

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<v Speaker 2>like loves mommy and he's so attached and like it's

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<v Speaker 2>our special time. Homeboy woke up the morning of his

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<v Speaker 2>first birthday, took one look at my boobs and was like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm good, and.

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<v Speaker 1>He has a nurse.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not kidding. He was like, Tommy, didn't you know

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<v Speaker 2>the American Society of Pediatrics recommends only until twelve months,

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<v Speaker 2>So we good.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, Because I say, I know so many moms who

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<v Speaker 1>are like the kid is like, girl, if you don't

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<v Speaker 1>come over here with those boobs, I know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, there was this whole like viral thread. I'm on

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<v Speaker 2>this Black Black Girl Magic Peloton edition on Facebook and

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<v Speaker 2>it's just an amazing community and this one thread was

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<v Speaker 2>going viral. This woman posted a picture of her like

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<v Speaker 2>toddler nursing while she was on the bike, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, wow, you know, and then just dozens

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<v Speaker 2>of other moms started posting about their sixteen month old,

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<v Speaker 2>their twenty two month old, how they just are still

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<v Speaker 2>on the boob, and yeah, I'm blessed. But I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>expecting that at all. So I think there's also this

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<v Speaker 2>little known effect when you stop breastfeeding all of a

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<v Speaker 2>sudden where you have like like a hormone crash. So

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm riding that wave down, but it's okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll bounce back.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, I didn't know that. I never thought about that.

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<v Speaker 2>That would make sense, Mean, your body, this was a

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<v Speaker 2>lot more than you bargain for. You're like, girl, I

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<v Speaker 2>just want to know how the turkey tasted like done.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, if you're if you're a mom, who's who's

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<v Speaker 2>dealt with that? It's yeah, they just don't talk about it.

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<v Speaker 2>But after you because you have to produce so much

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<v Speaker 2>hormones to make food for your baby for so long,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's just like after you give birth. You know.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why postpartum depression and anxiety are so common, are

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<v Speaker 2>not so common but why they happen is, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>all of a sudden, your body is the pro the

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<v Speaker 2>hormones you were producing to sustain that life are crashing,

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<v Speaker 2>and similar things happen when you are no longer breastfeed,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's why they say don't do it cold turkey.

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<v Speaker 2>But my baby had other brands. He's like, yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>would like to try other things like orange juice and

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<v Speaker 2>wild sake salmon.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like, I can't believe he's only turning one because honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, he looks too. He does.

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<v Speaker 2>I know he gets mistaken for it. I mean, we've

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<v Speaker 2>met other young babies, not close, but I've seen them

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<v Speaker 2>from Afar and and he's he's in the ninety nine

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<v Speaker 2>percentile for height.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was gonna say, because Rio is really tall.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, that's it's what I was thinking. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, wait, he's a big boy. Yeah, he is

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<v Speaker 1>walking all.

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<v Speaker 2>Over the place.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I mean, I feel like you've got tall in

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<v Speaker 1>your family, right, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean my husband's side is pretty tall. My side's

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<v Speaker 2>pretty above average. So you know, he he I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know where he puts it because he eats like so much.

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<v Speaker 2>I think he's Also he's also very active, like now

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<v Speaker 2>he walks and he's all over the house and it's

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<v Speaker 2>so cute seeing him become more confident walking and he

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<v Speaker 2>runs and he my brother got him a little Bens

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<v Speaker 2>for his birthday, like a baby Bence.

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<v Speaker 1>I love it. Uncle. If not to give you a baby,

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<v Speaker 1>who's going to give you a baby Bence? But your uncle,

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<v Speaker 1>your uncle Drake.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, that is what Uncle Drake would give. Yeah, so

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<v Speaker 2>he's all over the place, He's got a lot of energy.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, it's crazy. I think I also too. And

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<v Speaker 2>y'all know I've talked about like my struggles with anxiety

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<v Speaker 2>through having the baby and all that, and I really

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<v Speaker 2>came out on the other side of that so much stronger.

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<v Speaker 2>But I look back and I think I was just

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<v Speaker 2>in my mind, I had made his first birthday like

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<v Speaker 2>this finish line, like just make it to his first birthday,

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<v Speaker 2>like you're gonna You're gonna do it. You can do

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<v Speaker 2>this if you got it. And then it came and went,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh damn, no, magical childcare has cropped

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<v Speaker 2>up and the pandemic is still raging, and okay, we

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<v Speaker 2>gotta keep going, all right, So we took a moment.

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<v Speaker 2>We celebrated. Now on to the next marathon. I guess, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>But how my Thanksgiving your affair?

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<v Speaker 1>It was good on the side, I did my usual

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<v Speaker 1>Vonda cooked. I was like, yes, Wonda. It was so

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<v Speaker 1>crazy that I called her the week before and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, hey, Vonda, She's like her first words out

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<v Speaker 1>of her mouth work I got you for Thanksgiving. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, okay, bye, she knew all this I was

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<v Speaker 1>calling to be like. So we had traditional blackly black

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<v Speaker 1>Thanksgiving affair, like macaroni cheese, color greens and candied yims.

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<v Speaker 1>I asked her to do a fright a small fried turkey,

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<v Speaker 1>which was I don't even like turkey, lamb, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>so potato salad, corn bread. It was really good. And

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<v Speaker 1>although we couldn't, you know, like hang out with my parents,

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<v Speaker 1>I did bring them some food the next day, all

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<v Speaker 1>massed up, you know, yeah, and then we did Zoom too.

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<v Speaker 1>So but you know, it's just hard because Thanksgiving is

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<v Speaker 1>really one of the houses where we really do truly

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<v Speaker 1>all get together. My sister usually flies up from Chicago

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<v Speaker 1>with the baby and her husband because his family also

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<v Speaker 1>lives in them in Jersey too, so it just feels weird,

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<v Speaker 1>not you know, not connecting, although it was nice to

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<v Speaker 1>see folks.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah it was. You know, we had zoom playing for

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<v Speaker 2>like the birthday. Honestly it was more birthday than Thanksgiving here,

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<v Speaker 2>but we did. I made like sweet potato souflet and

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<v Speaker 2>I made a turkey breast, but you know, we have

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<v Speaker 2>it was our Enrique's families Dominicans, and we had a

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<v Speaker 2>big old like the pernal was the center of the table,

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<v Speaker 2>just a big old What's a pernill is roasted pork

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<v Speaker 2>and it's.

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<v Speaker 1>And I do love. I'm not gonna lie. No. I

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<v Speaker 1>always say like I don't really eat pork, but you

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<v Speaker 1>put a delaized ham in front of me, Like it's

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<v Speaker 1>one of those things like I don't really eat oh

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<v Speaker 1>but that I eat that. Yeah, I eat that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. His mom makes the best perennial. So she made

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<v Speaker 2>the perenial and I knew she was bringing it. So

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<v Speaker 2>I made a very tiny, sad turkey breast, but just

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<v Speaker 2>you know, just to tick that box. But really, what

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<v Speaker 2>I spent the most time doing was baking and fulfilling

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<v Speaker 2>every ambition I had of being on any baking show.

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<v Speaker 2>And I can confirm I could not be a baker.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know how bakers do it day in and

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<v Speaker 2>day out. I never want to see cake again. And

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<v Speaker 2>if you are fortunate enough to be a neighbor, you

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<v Speaker 2>have gotten at least half a pound of cake delivered

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<v Speaker 2>to you, because we had that much cake left over.

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<v Speaker 2>But I was pretty proud. I was. I made, I made.

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<v Speaker 2>I made him a sloth shaped birthday cake and it

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<v Speaker 2>was a labor of love. And he tore it the

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<v Speaker 2>heck apart right away.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh. First of all, I was like, that cake looked

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<v Speaker 1>like I was like, wait, is that what Nandy was

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<v Speaker 1>working on? Because I saw I think you did a

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<v Speaker 1>story where you showed like, you know, you were working

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<v Speaker 1>on the cake, and I was like, oh, what is

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<v Speaker 1>this gonna be? It looks so good. I'm not gonna lie,

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<v Speaker 1>you know how. It's like, you know what they asked for,

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<v Speaker 1>what they got.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it looked like I was afraid you posting like

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<v Speaker 2>a nailed it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, no, but it looks so good. I was like, Wow, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you did an excellent job. Yeah. Mean, while I'm over

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<v Speaker 1>here like plug so I'm doing my well, y'all know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've been doing IVA for like a thousand years. So

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<v Speaker 1>this cycle that I'm doing is like a test cycle

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<v Speaker 1>because I've got one little embryo left. But they want

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<v Speaker 1>to do like a test cycle because I guess when

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<v Speaker 1>they when they implant an embryo, it can be like

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<v Speaker 1>one of two days that are your ideal days. And usually,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, they kind of guesstimate, and because people have

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<v Speaker 1>like twenty thirty embryos, they're like, oh, well, just guesstimate,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. But with me, they're like, girl, we cannot guesstimate.

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<v Speaker 1>So instead they put you through the cycle. We're putting

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<v Speaker 1>me through the cycle. They do it. It's literally called

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<v Speaker 1>the mock cycle where I have to go in tomorrow

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<v Speaker 1>day one and they're going to test my lining. You

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<v Speaker 1>do its lining, and then I have to go on

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<v Speaker 1>day two so they can see, oh, Tiffany's a day

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<v Speaker 1>two girl. You know. But when I tell you, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I honestly didn't eat that much during Thanksgiving.

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<v Speaker 1>I stopped at like six thirty. I had one plate.

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<v Speaker 1>I just wasn't like, you know, super like, I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>super hungry. And then but I have been putting on

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<v Speaker 1>weight like crazy. So finally I called them. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>is it is this? This is this the estrogen? And

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<v Speaker 1>they're like, oh yeah, girl, cause I'm like, I bot

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<v Speaker 1>like five pounds and like a week and a half

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<v Speaker 1>and I've been intimate and fasting, walking and drinking my

0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:28.080
<v Speaker 1>apple side of vinegarl I'm like, I don't know.

0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh lord, so it is.

0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.920
<v Speaker 1>But thankfully, I mean like after these two, I'll you know,

0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:38.120
<v Speaker 1>they'll probably take like a month before I start to

0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:39.520
<v Speaker 1>cycle for real, for real, so I'll be able to

0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.800
<v Speaker 1>come down because they had I'm taking estrogen four different ways,

0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:45.319
<v Speaker 1>so there's like a patch, there's a shot that I take,

0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:49.760
<v Speaker 1>there's a pill, and then there's a the pository and

0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm just like so it's like, I know, fun times,

0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:53.320
<v Speaker 1>You're like, this.

0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.880
<v Speaker 2>Is poor y'all came to the right show if you're

0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:57.559
<v Speaker 2>a new listener.

0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:02.719
<v Speaker 1>I know, but where's our friend MS who don't want

0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:05.079
<v Speaker 1>to hear about my U doors Hey right.

0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Well now she knows about my plot the ducks okay,

0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:11.440
<v Speaker 2>and they are people and I don't have any cabbage leaves,

0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:14.480
<v Speaker 2>but yeah.

0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.320
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, so it's just the horrible like it's I

0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:20.120
<v Speaker 1>guess I'm just like pumped, pumped, pumped for the hormone.

0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:22.280
<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, I was just I'm not like, you know,

0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:24.480
<v Speaker 1>like weepy or anything like that, but I definitely have

0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.280
<v Speaker 1>been like super tired. And like I said, I'm like

0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:31.439
<v Speaker 1>gaining weight when I haven't been eating like crazy salt.

0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.240
<v Speaker 1>That's fun times. I just hope that, like you know,

0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.560
<v Speaker 1>so say it prayer if you believe in prayer. But

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:39.280
<v Speaker 1>like you know, this time around looks like I said,

0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:41.319
<v Speaker 1>it's just a mock. But then the next time I

0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.440
<v Speaker 1>do my cycles really like kind of like our last

0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:46.920
<v Speaker 1>hurrah with IVF, and then after that we would just

0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.079
<v Speaker 1>I guess, try naturally, I know.

0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.960
<v Speaker 2>So it's like I hear there's My sister in law

0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.200
<v Speaker 2>came downstairs, her staying with us, which has been amazing.

0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:57.280
<v Speaker 2>They she came downstairs today and she was like, there's

0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.240
<v Speaker 2>going to be a lunar eclips tonight, so you should,

0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:00.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, if you want to say and intention it's

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.480
<v Speaker 2>a good time. I was like, what, apparently around the

0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.720
<v Speaker 2>lunar eclipse is when it's a good I don't know,

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.080
<v Speaker 2>it's a good time to make like a resolution or

0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.480
<v Speaker 2>like hope for something in the future. So tonight I'm

0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.920
<v Speaker 2>gonna I'm gonna think about your embryo and you're u

0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:18.480
<v Speaker 2>dinglining and it won't be weird all.

0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:21.800
<v Speaker 1>My mother was like, I'm a prayer worri, don'torry, I'm

0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:22.480
<v Speaker 1>gonna talk to Jesus.

0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.839
<v Speaker 2>I was like, yeah, okay, thanks for sometimes you just gotta.

0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't pray that often. But I remember when when

0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Rio was being born and he didn't want to come,

0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.079
<v Speaker 2>and they were coming at me with that knife, not really,

0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.120
<v Speaker 2>not literally, but they were threatening in the sea section.

0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:41.400
<v Speaker 2>I was like, hey, baby, it's time anyway, Well, no

0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.240
<v Speaker 2>one has been through it more than you have. It

0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.640
<v Speaker 2>seems it's it's just and you've handled it with such

0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:48.240
<v Speaker 2>a grace. And I know it hasn't. I mean obviously

0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:50.400
<v Speaker 2>it's been like ups and downs and ups and downs,

0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:53.520
<v Speaker 2>and I'm really proud, really proud of you. You've been

0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:57.680
<v Speaker 2>so tough. If this baby, if his name is ain't miracle,

0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:58.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:01.640
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, you better never talk about this. Better

0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:04.800
<v Speaker 1>be the most the sweetest, non crying baby.

0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 2>We were talking about pressure on first generation babies, what

0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:12.360
<v Speaker 2>about like the last embryo babies, Like do you know.

0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:18.959
<v Speaker 1>Like you want the last? Oh god, my okay, like

0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:21.839
<v Speaker 1>this you gotta bring me home a B plus didn't

0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:25.640
<v Speaker 1>know what I had to do. I just pray that

0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:27.439
<v Speaker 1>he doesn't have a big head like my husband, because

0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:28.520
<v Speaker 1>Lord have mercy.

0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:32.439
<v Speaker 2>Oh God, well, you know they start out small, they do.

0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Don't worry, I know, but I heard he was born

0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:37.280
<v Speaker 1>with that big nugget. I was like, Lord, c section

0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:41.400
<v Speaker 1>for me. No, but no. I mean, honestly, it's been good,

0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:44.120
<v Speaker 1>just been despite all the pandemic and all the I

0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:47.640
<v Speaker 1>just feel like in such a better space. So many

0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.679
<v Speaker 1>of y'all have reached out to Stephanie from Navy psych

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 1>the therapist Finder. I just spoke with my one of

0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.559
<v Speaker 1>my friends today. She was like, oh my gosh, she

0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:58.839
<v Speaker 1>was amazing. I spoke to my other friend. He was like,

0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:01.000
<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, he's like, did you cry. I'm like,

0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:03.079
<v Speaker 1>of course I cried, Like because you do like a

0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.839
<v Speaker 1>session with her and then she figures out like you

0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.960
<v Speaker 1>like what you need. Like one of my friends from college,

0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.240
<v Speaker 1>she was like, she takes like meds and she was like, okay,

0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.360
<v Speaker 1>you need a therapist that is also a psycho therapist,

0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.880
<v Speaker 1>so that way understands like what meds are going to

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:21.479
<v Speaker 1>you know, like how meds are interacting with with your hormones,

0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, and other things that you have going on. Stephanie.

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Is just amazing because to be able to have a

0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:30.640
<v Speaker 1>therapist kind of like listen, hear you, understand and then

0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:33.360
<v Speaker 1>pair you because sometimes you don't even know what you need.

0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.080
<v Speaker 1>I just have to say, like that was just and

0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:36.960
<v Speaker 1>just to hear the feedback from like so many people

0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.040
<v Speaker 1>hitting me up, it was just it's just been amazing.

0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 1>And I feel like in such a better space because

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.640
<v Speaker 1>I start with my I start with my person that

0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:47.560
<v Speaker 1>she connected me with December eleventh, So I'm like so

0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 1>jazzed about it because it's been three years we've been

0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.840
<v Speaker 1>talking about it, and so to say like it's happening,

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>it's happening, so so happy. Yeah, it's just thank you.

0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I text my therapist when he stopped breastfinger. I was

0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:03.160
<v Speaker 2>like Laura, She's like, it's ye, we'll talk about it

0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:09.360
<v Speaker 2>on Thursday. That's just the relationship I have with my therapist. No, well,

0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:12.120
<v Speaker 2>that's amazing. And for people who maybe you didn't hear

0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 2>that episode or you forgot NAVI, it's called NAVI psych

0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:16.920
<v Speaker 2>right and av.

0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:20.000
<v Speaker 1>I p s y c 's Her name is Stephanie

0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:21.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't get a name money, so you know, yeah, we.

0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:23.760
<v Speaker 2>Don't get me just awesome, But yeah, don't she just

0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 2>have her on the show, So that'd be dope, and

0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.320
<v Speaker 2>that would be so she's like, yeah, she's a connector.

0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:30.600
<v Speaker 2>She'll talk to you, interview you, and then match you

0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:35.400
<v Speaker 2>with a therapist. And she works nationwide. Yep, she works nationwide,

0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.160
<v Speaker 2>and she's a therapist herself, which is awesome. And then

0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.440
<v Speaker 2>she just also has like a wide pool of therapists

0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 2>and places that she pulls from. But you know, like

0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 2>how teachers have a ton of teacher friends, she also

0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.960
<v Speaker 2>has a lot of therapists people like in her personal network.

0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:50.840
<v Speaker 2>So she's also using that network to be like, do

0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 2>you know somebody who and she what I love too.

0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.760
<v Speaker 2>It's not just the connection. She also like takes your

0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.040
<v Speaker 2>insurance information, so if you're like I really need a

0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.120
<v Speaker 2>therapist that works with my insurance, she will find that

0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.680
<v Speaker 2>match as well. So it's like honestly awesome, all around amazing.

0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:06.840
<v Speaker 2>We'll put a link to NAVI psych and our show

0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.640
<v Speaker 2>notes and yeah, if it's never too late to start

0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.280
<v Speaker 2>your mental health journey, and you know, maybe we can

0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:15.200
<v Speaker 2>plug our partner better help if you want like a

0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.800
<v Speaker 2>nice way and easy way to enter entry point into therapy.

0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:21.560
<v Speaker 2>I know my sisters used Better Help, which is an

0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:25.600
<v Speaker 2>online talk therapy service, and it's just it's never too late.

0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 2>And this year, and I think it's the same realization

0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:30.320
<v Speaker 2>I had after Rio's first birthday, which is like, oh, yeah,

0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:32.600
<v Speaker 2>we're still in this pandemic and it's been a year.

0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 2>And I think even just like having someone to talk

0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.000
<v Speaker 2>to and reflect on how the last year, how things

0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.200
<v Speaker 2>have you know, been so crazy, it's just so so helpful.

0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:43.800
<v Speaker 2>So we hope that y'all are taking care of your

0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:46.560
<v Speaker 2>mental health and whatever way you can. And that's a yeah,

0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.080
<v Speaker 2>thanks for sharing that resource.

0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:53.120
<v Speaker 1>To no problem, anything else you want to chat about,

0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:54.560
<v Speaker 1>and if you guys, if you need like a little

0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:56.000
<v Speaker 1>because I know it's a little crazy. I mean, although

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.160
<v Speaker 1>we know who won the election and I know it's

0:16:58.160 --> 0:16:59.880
<v Speaker 1>a little crazy, I still have to plug. Like I

0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:05.119
<v Speaker 1>love that Instagram account. Neil what's his nast name? He

0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:09.760
<v Speaker 1>is a he's a Supreme Court attorney. I think that's

0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:13.399
<v Speaker 1>what he says. But he is Neil Katal k a

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.840
<v Speaker 1>t y out Neil Kata. He's a supreme a Supreme

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:21.240
<v Speaker 1>Court lawyer, a law professor, and he's a former acting

0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Solicitor General. So this guy is just like all and

0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:26.960
<v Speaker 1>he said he argued forty one cases in front of RBG,

0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:29.520
<v Speaker 1>so he's just brilliant. But what he does is every

0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:33.080
<v Speaker 1>day he does like this mini like episode on Instagram

0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.399
<v Speaker 1>called court Side, and I listened to it to call

0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.840
<v Speaker 1>my political nerves because he breaks down in layman's terms,

0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:41.879
<v Speaker 1>what's happening as far as like you know, like the

0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.400
<v Speaker 1>the with what's happening with the former administration their refusal

0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 1>to accept defeat, and but also like what's actually happening

0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.200
<v Speaker 1>in the court system, like what what you know, what

0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:56.399
<v Speaker 1>what's being handed down? You know, what's what? What's actually happening.

0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Like it's one thing that the current administration will say

0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:02.240
<v Speaker 1>on TV of fraud, fraud, fraud, but then when they

0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:04.600
<v Speaker 1>actually file the paperwork in court, they don't say fraud

0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:06.360
<v Speaker 1>because you can actually be liable and go to jail

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.359
<v Speaker 1>for that. So it's just like if you for me,

0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:11.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm someone who you know, there was a lot of

0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.879
<v Speaker 1>worry for me, but that page helped to calm my

0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 1>nerves because I get to hear from this like you know,

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:22.879
<v Speaker 1>legal perspective, what's actually happening, no spin, no whatever, but like, oh,

0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.200
<v Speaker 1>this is what happened in court today. Great, good to know.

0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:27.080
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, Neil Kata, that's my dude.

0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love him. I followed him once you mentioned

0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:30.280
<v Speaker 2>him on the last show.

0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:31.560
<v Speaker 1>He's isn't he good?

0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.960
<v Speaker 2>He's really good? And this is a good time to

0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.680
<v Speaker 2>plug and promise we'll go to questions after this. But

0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:40.600
<v Speaker 2>I have to plug. The Georgia Senate runoff election is

0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:45.320
<v Speaker 2>fun ning. So if you haven't requested your mail in ballot,

0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:47.680
<v Speaker 2>go ahead because the election is happening in the first

0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.159
<v Speaker 2>week of January. So if you're planning any holiday travel,

0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:52.040
<v Speaker 2>just get it done, get it out of the way.

0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm already harassing. I've cast an even wider net this

0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:58.320
<v Speaker 2>time in terms of who I am badgering in my

0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:01.800
<v Speaker 2>family in Georgia. But this Senate race is so so important.

0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:04.719
<v Speaker 2>And as a quick reminder, there's two Senate seats up

0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 2>for grabs in Georgia at the same time, which is

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:10.119
<v Speaker 2>very rare. And these two seats, if Democrats lose them,

0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:14.000
<v Speaker 2>you know we're really in trouble. I think that if

0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.000
<v Speaker 2>there hasn't been one takeaway from the Trump administration. It's

0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:19.720
<v Speaker 2>that if the Democrats or the party that you want

0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.720
<v Speaker 2>in power doesn't control the House and Senate, then really

0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:26.840
<v Speaker 2>policies that you want to get past just won't go anywhere.

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.399
<v Speaker 2>So you really need you know, Tiffany and I are

0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:33.760
<v Speaker 2>obviously progressive Democrat leaning, but we really need the majority

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.040
<v Speaker 2>in the Senate. So if you know anyone in Georgia,

0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.040
<v Speaker 2>please let them know to go out there and vote.

0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:41.880
<v Speaker 2>We need big, big turnout. So you can check out

0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:45.040
<v Speaker 2>I will vote dot com. It's a fantastic resource. It

0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:47.960
<v Speaker 2>has all the information you'll need on voting locations and

0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:50.320
<v Speaker 2>early mail in ballots and all that jazz. We'll put

0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:54.160
<v Speaker 2>a link to the notes in our podcast. And even

0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:56.080
<v Speaker 2>if it's not you, but you have a friend, a cousin,

0:19:56.480 --> 0:20:00.440
<v Speaker 2>an uncle, coworker, whatever in Georgia, it doesn't hurt. It's

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:02.800
<v Speaker 2>not pushy. I mean a little bit pushy, but it

0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:05.800
<v Speaker 2>doesn't hurt to remind them of key dates and deadlines

0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.120
<v Speaker 2>and hold them a tiny bit countable.

0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, okay. And that is the tea, the tea

0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:17.600
<v Speaker 1>with Mandy and Tiffany. Oh.

0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 2>I like that. I like that' spin off show. You'll

0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:55.440
<v Speaker 2>be right back with some of y'all's questions. All right,

0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:58.000
<v Speaker 2>we are back y'all with your questions again. You can

0:20:58.080 --> 0:21:00.480
<v Speaker 2>hit us up with your questions. We love you hear them.

0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:04.720
<v Speaker 2>Brown Ambition Podcast on Instagram. We're also Brown Ambition Podcast

0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:06.720
<v Speaker 2>at gmail dot com if you want to email us.

0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:11.240
<v Speaker 2>The old fashion way, but here, let's take a question

0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:15.280
<v Speaker 2>from Instagram. This comes from listener Mika. I think I

0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:17.399
<v Speaker 2>pronounced that right. Yep. She gave me a ooh, very

0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:21.119
<v Speaker 2>handy finetic spelling of her name, Mika. Mika says, my

0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:23.440
<v Speaker 2>man and I are so proud that we've saved ten

0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 2>thousand dollars for our wedding. This is the number that

0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I had in mind for what I wanted to budget

0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:30.600
<v Speaker 2>for a low key event. We've been together for eight

0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:33.720
<v Speaker 2>years and our domestic partners in California. It's almost like

0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:35.920
<v Speaker 2>you're married. I don't see us getting married for a

0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:36.640
<v Speaker 2>couple of years.

0:21:36.720 --> 0:21:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Though.

0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:40.280
<v Speaker 2>Where would you recommend we keep this nugget of cash

0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:42.600
<v Speaker 2>for a happy day. I was thinking of setting it

0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:46.040
<v Speaker 2>aside in a stock market index fund. Love you and

0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:48.320
<v Speaker 2>tips so much. Thank you for your hard work and

0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:51.040
<v Speaker 2>I think, possibly most of all, sharing your humanity while

0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:55.360
<v Speaker 2>still being a boss ow Meca. Yeah, it's a really

0:21:55.359 --> 0:21:57.600
<v Speaker 2>good question, and I think a lot of couples might

0:21:57.640 --> 0:21:59.520
<v Speaker 2>be in this situation. If you were planning to get

0:21:59.560 --> 0:22:02.040
<v Speaker 2>married this year, you might have like a little pocket

0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:04.000
<v Speaker 2>of cash that you were oh that was my phone

0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:07.200
<v Speaker 2>being dropped on the floor. Sorry, pocketive cash, you know

0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:10.240
<v Speaker 2>that is on hold, Yeah, until you get married next

0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:14.600
<v Speaker 2>year or the year after. This is interesting so with

0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 2>any kind of investing, because you're talking about, you know,

0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:19.440
<v Speaker 2>taking this ten K and putting it in the market.

0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:23.000
<v Speaker 2>For me personally, the time horizon, even though it's two

0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:26.360
<v Speaker 2>years out, is pretty short, and I don't gonna say

0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:30.560
<v Speaker 2>that yeah right, I mean two years is still you know,

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:33.360
<v Speaker 2>especially with the market. We're not done with this economic

0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:35.160
<v Speaker 2>crisis that we're in. I know, the market has made

0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:37.440
<v Speaker 2>a huge comeback this week. I think my four and

0:22:37.520 --> 0:22:39.240
<v Speaker 2>one K was like, grow you up fifteen percent. I

0:22:39.359 --> 0:22:42.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, thank you. But it's been up and down

0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:43.880
<v Speaker 2>and up and down, and I think it will continue

0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:46.119
<v Speaker 2>to be that way, you know, in the coming months.

0:22:46.200 --> 0:22:50.360
<v Speaker 2>So who knows what could happen. I personally don't think

0:22:50.520 --> 0:22:53.040
<v Speaker 2>that's the best move for something that you're going to

0:22:53.080 --> 0:22:55.920
<v Speaker 2>want to pull out and especially I know how weddings work.

0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:59.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm an expert. I was married. Well, any any big event,

0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:02.040
<v Speaker 2>you don't always pay the day of your weddings. Even

0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:05.080
<v Speaker 2>though your wedding dates two years out. Your wedding deposits

0:23:05.119 --> 0:23:08.200
<v Speaker 2>might have to go down within a year, you know.

0:23:08.480 --> 0:23:11.359
<v Speaker 2>So I and you're and you're buying stuff up until

0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:13.239
<v Speaker 2>the day, especially if it's a low key event, you're

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:15.639
<v Speaker 2>doing your own flowers or whatnot. I think you just

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:18.240
<v Speaker 2>park it in a high yield you know, savings account,

0:23:18.359 --> 0:23:21.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe a CD, but even that again maybe not over

0:23:22.000 --> 0:23:24.240
<v Speaker 2>a year because otherwise you're gonna lock it up and

0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:26.639
<v Speaker 2>you'll pay a fee if you take it out earlier

0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:29.679
<v Speaker 2>with the CD, and rates aren't that hot and right

0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:33.240
<v Speaker 2>now anyway. So yeah, that's anything you want to add

0:23:33.240 --> 0:23:33.640
<v Speaker 2>to that tip.

0:23:34.560 --> 0:23:36.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I would say, like Emmy, if you are really

0:23:36.880 --> 0:23:39.159
<v Speaker 1>itching to do a little something, to Mandy's point, like

0:23:39.240 --> 0:23:41.960
<v Speaker 1>you know you're gonna be paying for things before. It's

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:44.520
<v Speaker 1>not like that Dada wedding day. Here's my ten thousand.

0:23:44.880 --> 0:23:46.360
<v Speaker 1>But if you are itching to say, but I want

0:23:46.400 --> 0:23:48.280
<v Speaker 1>to do a little something, maybe take a quarter of it,

0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:51.359
<v Speaker 1>like twenty five hundred and maybe if you were gonna

0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:53.760
<v Speaker 1>put it in an index fund if it means that

0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:56.159
<v Speaker 1>much to you, to see if you can get something

0:23:56.240 --> 0:23:57.920
<v Speaker 1>out of it. But yeah, two years is kind of

0:23:57.920 --> 0:24:00.920
<v Speaker 1>a short time horizon. Ideally, you like, you know, three

0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:03.679
<v Speaker 1>to five years minimum to really see if your money's

0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:06.080
<v Speaker 1>gonna move and shake. And although because I saw this

0:24:06.200 --> 0:24:08.960
<v Speaker 1>on ig and I'm not gonna lie, it grated my gears.

0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Is that what Peter from Mom Family Guy says? This

0:24:11.200 --> 0:24:16.399
<v Speaker 1>greats my gears. Grinds my gears? Yes, right, so it

0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:18.439
<v Speaker 1>grinded my gears. It was this guy who was an

0:24:18.480 --> 0:24:21.639
<v Speaker 1>investor and clearly, you know, pretty savvy. He was like,

0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:25.040
<v Speaker 1>my investments are up a thousand percent since the beginning

0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:26.960
<v Speaker 1>of the year. I told y'all don't save and to

0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:29.680
<v Speaker 1>invest your money anyway and to invest your money instead.

0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:35.040
<v Speaker 1>And I wanted to like throw the phone that because like,

0:24:35.920 --> 0:24:39.480
<v Speaker 1>great for you. But if someone invested without doing any

0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:41.200
<v Speaker 1>sort of savings in the beginning of the year and

0:24:41.280 --> 0:24:43.840
<v Speaker 1>their money didn't go up one thousand percent instead it

0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:46.600
<v Speaker 1>was down you know, ten twenty percent, because maybe they

0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:48.840
<v Speaker 1>chose individual stocks and you know, they just didn't choose

0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:51.480
<v Speaker 1>stocks that went up, and now they have kids to feed,

0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:55.680
<v Speaker 1>so what are we saying. So I just like, investing

0:24:55.840 --> 0:24:58.640
<v Speaker 1>is not the end all be all it's gonna save

0:24:58.680 --> 0:25:01.200
<v Speaker 1>you from all the things. So it should never your

0:25:01.280 --> 0:25:03.960
<v Speaker 1>You should never put money in that you absolutely need

0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:06.639
<v Speaker 1>in the next ideally in the next five years. So so,

0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:08.000
<v Speaker 1>like I said, if you are going to put a

0:25:08.000 --> 0:25:10.720
<v Speaker 1>little something, maybe twenty five percent, twenty five hundred dollars

0:25:10.800 --> 0:25:13.240
<v Speaker 1>and see where it goes. But knowing that, you know what,

0:25:14.119 --> 0:25:16.280
<v Speaker 1>at least we have seventy five hundred that we can

0:25:16.400 --> 0:25:20.640
<v Speaker 1>rock and roll with. But congratulations, that's you know, that's awesome.

0:25:20.520 --> 0:25:22.680
<v Speaker 2>All right, Mika, thank you so much for your question.

0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:25.040
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for listening real quick. I wanted to you know,

0:25:25.200 --> 0:25:27.680
<v Speaker 2>you guys send really lovely messages sometimes, and even though

0:25:27.680 --> 0:25:29.320
<v Speaker 2>they're not questions, I thought it would be nice to

0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:31.359
<v Speaker 2>like read one of them once in a while. So

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:33.920
<v Speaker 2>this is a note from one of our followers on

0:25:34.160 --> 0:25:37.160
<v Speaker 2>IG named Melanie. She says, thank you for last week's

0:25:37.160 --> 0:25:39.359
<v Speaker 2>episode when you all said it's okay not to be

0:25:39.440 --> 0:25:42.359
<v Speaker 2>saving due to what's going on around us. Prior to this,

0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:44.520
<v Speaker 2>I was doing a decent job and I was planning

0:25:44.560 --> 0:25:46.639
<v Speaker 2>to pick it up this year, but furlough changed that

0:25:47.200 --> 0:25:49.760
<v Speaker 2>but thank you for saying it's okay. We pressure ourselves

0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:52.959
<v Speaker 2>sometimes and we just needed to hear that for her.

0:25:53.359 --> 0:25:56.480
<v Speaker 1>Jeez, you're welcome because it is hard. I mean we

0:25:56.680 --> 0:25:59.639
<v Speaker 1>were so hard. Like, no, you're not tasked to be

0:25:59.680 --> 0:26:02.440
<v Speaker 1>find actually perfect. You're tasked to do the best you

0:26:02.560 --> 0:26:04.440
<v Speaker 1>can with where you are, and sometimes the best you

0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:06.840
<v Speaker 1>can is literally nothing. There are times that I was like,

0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:09.159
<v Speaker 1>girl savings, I need to eat, Like what am I

0:26:09.280 --> 0:26:13.040
<v Speaker 1>going to eat? You know? Or like you've made financial

0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:15.919
<v Speaker 1>mistakes and you beat yourself up, and sometimes you're just like, well,

0:26:15.960 --> 0:26:18.200
<v Speaker 1>how long are we going to do this? How long?

0:26:18.320 --> 0:26:20.320
<v Speaker 1>I get it, I shouldn't have used my credit card

0:26:20.440 --> 0:26:22.880
<v Speaker 1>to buy all those clothes. Okay, we're here now, now

0:26:22.920 --> 0:26:27.600
<v Speaker 1>what so I just I'm literally sometimes I look in

0:26:27.640 --> 0:26:30.560
<v Speaker 1>the mirror and I'm just like Tiffany, I get it,

0:26:31.080 --> 0:26:33.879
<v Speaker 1>But how is this helpful? Like, you don't have to

0:26:33.920 --> 0:26:37.480
<v Speaker 1>beat yourself up. It's not helpful. It's not healthy, And

0:26:37.760 --> 0:26:40.520
<v Speaker 1>it's okay to take responsibility. This is something I think

0:26:40.560 --> 0:26:44.880
<v Speaker 1>it was Stephanie who said this, Either Stephanie or doctor Green,

0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:47.159
<v Speaker 1>who I'm working with now. I was sharing with her.

0:26:47.240 --> 0:26:48.880
<v Speaker 1>I was so proud of myself. I was like, yeah,

0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:51.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm really self aware because I know that I mess

0:26:51.840 --> 0:26:53.159
<v Speaker 1>up like this, and I mess up like that, and

0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:56.119
<v Speaker 1>I did this. She's like, hmmm, I don't know that

0:26:56.200 --> 0:26:58.719
<v Speaker 1>that's self awareness. It sounds like you're just critical of yourself.

0:26:58.960 --> 0:27:02.240
<v Speaker 1>I was like, wait, what, because I was so proud

0:27:02.320 --> 0:27:05.159
<v Speaker 1>that I easily point out every flaw of mine. And

0:27:05.280 --> 0:27:09.439
<v Speaker 1>she's like, tiffany self aware is to see all sides

0:27:09.480 --> 0:27:12.800
<v Speaker 1>of yourself, that you're aware of yourself as a complete,

0:27:13.320 --> 0:27:16.040
<v Speaker 1>flawed but also fabulous human being. I don't hear any

0:27:16.040 --> 0:27:21.880
<v Speaker 1>of the fabulous. And I was like, yeah, so next week.

0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:26.240
<v Speaker 1>So I just think that that's important. That we are

0:27:26.400 --> 0:27:30.040
<v Speaker 1>really hard on ourselves, and I think especially women, and

0:27:30.960 --> 0:27:33.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, just giving you a big old financial hug.

0:27:33.040 --> 0:27:34.440
<v Speaker 1>You don't have to be perfect. You just do the

0:27:34.480 --> 0:27:36.560
<v Speaker 1>best that you can with what you have, and then

0:27:36.600 --> 0:27:38.240
<v Speaker 1>when you have different than you do differently.

0:27:39.000 --> 0:27:42.080
<v Speaker 2>I love that absolutely, And just give yourself grace, pretend

0:27:42.200 --> 0:27:44.239
<v Speaker 2>like you're talking to a friend. I think we all

0:27:44.280 --> 0:27:47.200
<v Speaker 2>could use. We all just need to give ourselves a break.

0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:48.880
<v Speaker 2>I think that's been the hardest part of this year,

0:27:48.960 --> 0:27:51.520
<v Speaker 2>is knowing when to just be like listen, done is

0:27:51.560 --> 0:27:54.680
<v Speaker 2>better than perfect. Another day is in the books and

0:27:55.000 --> 0:27:57.480
<v Speaker 2>you survived, and that's sometimes that's all you can, you know,

0:27:57.600 --> 0:28:01.119
<v Speaker 2>expect of yourself. So yes, never here to set on

0:28:01.240 --> 0:28:03.800
<v Speaker 2>realistic expectations. I don't want to do that for myself.

0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:05.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to do it for y'all. I just

0:28:05.680 --> 0:28:09.280
<v Speaker 2>think that is a recipe for just discontent, you know,

0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 2>and lack of joy, and it's no way to live.

0:28:12.560 --> 0:28:14.480
<v Speaker 2>And I think the older I get, the more I

0:28:14.600 --> 0:28:18.200
<v Speaker 2>realize that. All Right, Well, thank you for that message, Melanie.

0:28:18.240 --> 0:28:18.960
<v Speaker 2>That was really sweet.

0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:21.360
<v Speaker 1>Well we should do more of those. I like those.

0:28:21.880 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 2>We like when y'all say nice stuff. Feel free. You

0:28:25.480 --> 0:28:27.399
<v Speaker 2>don't have to just send us question, send us praise,

0:28:27.960 --> 0:28:30.159
<v Speaker 2>send us prayse there any anecdotes, Yeah, you can hit

0:28:30.240 --> 0:28:32.639
<v Speaker 2>us up, you know, Brand Ambition podcast on ig or

0:28:32.840 --> 0:28:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Brand Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com. That's Oh, this

0:28:36.760 --> 0:28:38.840
<v Speaker 2>is a good one tip because we were talking a

0:28:38.880 --> 0:28:41.440
<v Speaker 2>little bit earlier about the pressures you know, children have

0:28:42.040 --> 0:28:44.760
<v Speaker 2>with their parents, and this this reader or reader, this

0:28:44.920 --> 0:28:48.800
<v Speaker 2>listener has a question about her parents. All right, she says,

0:28:49.160 --> 0:28:51.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm thirty three and the eldest of three children. I'm

0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:54.920
<v Speaker 2>also the only child that isn't married or has kids.

0:28:55.520 --> 0:28:57.880
<v Speaker 2>Here's the issue I need advice on. My parents are

0:28:57.920 --> 0:29:00.880
<v Speaker 2>over fifty. My mom is the primary bread winner slash

0:29:00.920 --> 0:29:03.680
<v Speaker 2>bill pair and makes decent money in the healthcare field

0:29:03.760 --> 0:29:07.120
<v Speaker 2>working as an independent contractor. Neither of my parents, though,

0:29:07.200 --> 0:29:10.360
<v Speaker 2>currently has health insurance, life insurance, or has money set

0:29:10.360 --> 0:29:13.320
<v Speaker 2>aside for retirement. My mom does have about twenty K

0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:16.200
<v Speaker 2>and savings because she has to pay her business taxes.

0:29:16.720 --> 0:29:18.880
<v Speaker 2>How do I get them to start thinking about setting

0:29:18.920 --> 0:29:22.480
<v Speaker 2>money aside and what types of investment slash retirement accounts

0:29:22.520 --> 0:29:25.080
<v Speaker 2>should they be looking into. I feel like I'll be

0:29:25.160 --> 0:29:27.840
<v Speaker 2>the one responsible for their care when they're no longer

0:29:27.920 --> 0:29:30.320
<v Speaker 2>able to care for themselves, and think that if they

0:29:30.400 --> 0:29:32.360
<v Speaker 2>have even a small nest egg, it will help me

0:29:32.440 --> 0:29:33.440
<v Speaker 2>sleep better at night.

0:29:34.040 --> 0:29:35.240
<v Speaker 1>Thank you woof.

0:29:36.120 --> 0:29:38.560
<v Speaker 2>This is this one can mean deep, This one's real.

0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:41.760
<v Speaker 2>This is a I feel her, I feel the weight

0:29:41.800 --> 0:29:43.920
<v Speaker 2>of responsibility on her shoulders, and part of me just

0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:48.000
<v Speaker 2>wants to grab it off, be like it's not your job.

0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:51.200
<v Speaker 1>But I think, well, I can understand because it's hard,

0:29:51.280 --> 0:29:54.480
<v Speaker 1>because it's like, ah, oh, you gotta like because it's

0:29:54.560 --> 0:29:57.120
<v Speaker 1>like do I let my parents flounder?

0:29:57.240 --> 0:29:59.440
<v Speaker 2>And you know what I mean?

0:29:59.520 --> 0:30:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Like even Oh, it's not your job to take care

0:30:01.200 --> 0:30:03.120
<v Speaker 1>of them. I think you'd be hard for US press

0:30:03.200 --> 0:30:06.479
<v Speaker 1>to find a kid that if their parents needed them

0:30:06.520 --> 0:30:09.000
<v Speaker 1>in desperate times, what do you do? So I'm reading

0:30:09.040 --> 0:30:11.680
<v Speaker 1>this book called one of my new favorite authors right now.

0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:14.280
<v Speaker 1>His name is Jonah Berger. I read his book called

0:30:14.400 --> 0:30:17.920
<v Speaker 1>The Catalysts. No, I read his book called Contagious you know,

0:30:18.040 --> 0:30:19.920
<v Speaker 1>how ideas Stick or something to that point. It was

0:30:19.920 --> 0:30:21.800
<v Speaker 1>really good, Like if you're into like business and marketing

0:30:21.920 --> 0:30:24.480
<v Speaker 1>and excellent read. Well I listened to it via audible,

0:30:24.520 --> 0:30:27.800
<v Speaker 1>but still whatever that's reading. So now I'm reading The Catalyst,

0:30:27.920 --> 0:30:30.680
<v Speaker 1>and the Catalyst is how to change anyone's mind. So

0:30:31.280 --> 0:30:31.840
<v Speaker 1>what's her name?

0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:33.240
<v Speaker 2>Anonymous?

0:30:33.920 --> 0:30:41.880
<v Speaker 1>Anonymous? You can call her Sarah, right, So Sarah. One

0:30:41.920 --> 0:30:44.760
<v Speaker 1>of the things that Jonah talks about is finding what

0:30:44.880 --> 0:30:48.520
<v Speaker 1>he calls the movable middle. So if you are the

0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:51.400
<v Speaker 1>extreme on one side of like a say like a

0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, the tennis court or a football field,

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:56.880
<v Speaker 1>and your parents are on the other side, So your

0:30:56.920 --> 0:31:00.680
<v Speaker 1>extreme is like have all the responsible financial things intact,

0:31:00.960 --> 0:31:02.960
<v Speaker 1>and they're over here, like, look, I'm just living day

0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:04.240
<v Speaker 1>to day because fifty is still young.

0:31:04.400 --> 0:31:04.560
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:09.240
<v Speaker 1>It's like well, people are usually able to shift like

0:31:09.400 --> 0:31:11.320
<v Speaker 1>either to the left or to the right of what

0:31:11.480 --> 0:31:14.680
<v Speaker 1>their middle is. But if you are super far off

0:31:14.720 --> 0:31:16.640
<v Speaker 1>in one direction or the other, it's really hard to

0:31:16.760 --> 0:31:19.200
<v Speaker 1>figure out what that middle is for them. So maybe

0:31:19.240 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 1>the middle is I got her to open up an

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:22.920
<v Speaker 1>online only savings account.

0:31:23.120 --> 0:31:23.360
<v Speaker 2>Great.

0:31:23.600 --> 0:31:27.320
<v Speaker 1>So what happens with the movable middle is that if

0:31:27.520 --> 0:31:29.959
<v Speaker 1>before she was saving nothing, but now she has an

0:31:30.000 --> 0:31:33.520
<v Speaker 1>online only savings account, you have moved the middle. Now

0:31:34.000 --> 0:31:36.400
<v Speaker 1>opening a savings account is not that far from opening

0:31:36.440 --> 0:31:38.720
<v Speaker 1>a CD. Now you've moved the middle a little closer

0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:40.840
<v Speaker 1>to you. Now opening a CD is not that far

0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:43.120
<v Speaker 1>from getting her to open up a retirement account. Do

0:31:43.160 --> 0:31:45.400
<v Speaker 1>you see? You can start to shift where the middle

0:31:45.560 --> 0:31:47.600
<v Speaker 1>is and get closer and closure to your side of

0:31:47.640 --> 0:31:50.120
<v Speaker 1>the field. So figuring out what's the movable middle? What

0:31:50.200 --> 0:31:52.719
<v Speaker 1>I used to say with them, for like people who

0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:55.320
<v Speaker 1>would reach out to me about their significant other is

0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:58.480
<v Speaker 1>I would say, find the common denominator, find something that

0:31:58.600 --> 0:32:01.120
<v Speaker 1>they're that they're already in a gre like with Superman,

0:32:01.360 --> 0:32:04.080
<v Speaker 1>he was not a good saver, he wasn't an overspender,

0:32:04.160 --> 0:32:05.880
<v Speaker 1>but he was an overgiver. He gave away all his

0:32:06.040 --> 0:32:08.760
<v Speaker 1>money and the only thing that we could both agree

0:32:08.840 --> 0:32:13.560
<v Speaker 1>upon was Supergirl, his daughter my bonus baby is that

0:32:14.280 --> 0:32:16.800
<v Speaker 1>he always agreed we should put a set aside money

0:32:16.840 --> 0:32:19.080
<v Speaker 1>for her. So I started there. It was like a

0:32:19.240 --> 0:32:21.560
<v Speaker 1>year of like, yeah, I know you want to give

0:32:21.640 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 1>such and such a cousin all your money, but did

0:32:23.200 --> 0:32:26.080
<v Speaker 1>we put money in Supergirl's account? Oh no, I didn't. Okay,

0:32:26.120 --> 0:32:28.320
<v Speaker 1>you know I'm gonna do that instead, and I'd be like, whoof.

0:32:28.680 --> 0:32:31.280
<v Speaker 1>So from there that was a movable middle. So if

0:32:31.280 --> 0:32:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I can convince him to save for Supergirl, then I

0:32:33.280 --> 0:32:35.080
<v Speaker 1>can convince him the say for vacation, that I can

0:32:35.160 --> 0:32:36.640
<v Speaker 1>convince him the safe for a wedding, that I could

0:32:36.640 --> 0:32:38.520
<v Speaker 1>convince the safe for a house, and then you see

0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:41.160
<v Speaker 1>what I mean Now, like Superman and I are like

0:32:41.240 --> 0:32:44.160
<v Speaker 1>talking about investing and buying the next investment property. But

0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:47.920
<v Speaker 1>I had to slowly but surely find the movable middle.

0:32:48.000 --> 0:32:50.200
<v Speaker 1>And now he's living on budget list Island.

0:32:52.080 --> 0:32:54.440
<v Speaker 2>Doesn't even know how he came there. I know, and

0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:58.080
<v Speaker 2>at only there talking about his manipulation. But I love it,

0:32:58.840 --> 0:33:01.360
<v Speaker 2>but in a good way for their own benefit.

0:33:05.800 --> 0:33:08.240
<v Speaker 1>But I don't even feel bad about it. They need it,

0:33:08.400 --> 0:33:10.480
<v Speaker 1>so for your parents, I would just say, find find

0:33:11.200 --> 0:33:14.840
<v Speaker 1>common denominator, the movable middle, an inch toward that, don't

0:33:14.920 --> 0:33:16.680
<v Speaker 1>don't try to drag them all the way over to

0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:17.240
<v Speaker 1>your side.

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. The part that hit me deep is this feeling

0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:23.360
<v Speaker 2>of if they don't get it, then I'm the one

0:33:23.400 --> 0:33:26.440
<v Speaker 2>they're going to fall back on. And as the as

0:33:26.480 --> 0:33:28.520
<v Speaker 2>a young woman in a family, the eldest of three,

0:33:28.640 --> 0:33:31.800
<v Speaker 2>she says, with no children. I think society has shown

0:33:31.960 --> 0:33:33.920
<v Speaker 2>when you're the daughter in a family, even if you

0:33:34.000 --> 0:33:36.360
<v Speaker 2>have kids and a whole husband or a wife or whatever,

0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:39.640
<v Speaker 2>like a lot of the you know, responsibility of caring

0:33:39.680 --> 0:33:42.240
<v Speaker 2>for elderly parents does fall on the on the female

0:33:42.360 --> 0:33:45.720
<v Speaker 2>children's shoulders. So I think that that's a real risk

0:33:45.800 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 2>and a real fear, and I think that I understand

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.360
<v Speaker 2>that stress. And also you're my exact same age. I

0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:52.720
<v Speaker 2>see this happening to my elder sister. She's married, but

0:33:52.800 --> 0:33:55.920
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't have children, and you know, she's she's the

0:33:55.960 --> 0:33:58.240
<v Speaker 2>one people don't mind bothering because like what she got

0:33:58.320 --> 0:34:01.440
<v Speaker 2>going on but is not fair, which is not fair.

0:34:02.320 --> 0:34:04.880
<v Speaker 2>And I will say, you know, to Tiffany's point too,

0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:07.800
<v Speaker 2>I have been I mean, I remember going back to

0:34:07.840 --> 0:34:09.560
<v Speaker 2>when I was a little girl. My mom smoked, like

0:34:10.160 --> 0:34:12.240
<v Speaker 2>all all of the older people in my family smoked.

0:34:12.280 --> 0:34:14.200
<v Speaker 2>But I used to hide her cigarettes. I'd hide her

0:34:14.400 --> 0:34:16.640
<v Speaker 2>pack of misty menthol lights. I would take the whole

0:34:16.680 --> 0:34:18.239
<v Speaker 2>box and put at the top of the closet where

0:34:18.239 --> 0:34:19.719
<v Speaker 2>she couldn't find it. I tried to get to quit.

0:34:20.000 --> 0:34:22.960
<v Speaker 2>I would like post pictures of charred cancer written lungs

0:34:23.000 --> 0:34:25.560
<v Speaker 2>around the house when I did science projects. None of

0:34:25.600 --> 0:34:29.919
<v Speaker 2>that extreme, like extreme work on my baby. My baby

0:34:29.960 --> 0:34:32.680
<v Speaker 2>shoulders did much. It was maybe too much in the

0:34:32.760 --> 0:34:34.600
<v Speaker 2>other direction. My mom had to just come to that,

0:34:34.920 --> 0:34:37.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, realization on her own. So I do feel

0:34:37.960 --> 0:34:40.279
<v Speaker 2>like you you can, you can state your case and

0:34:40.320 --> 0:34:42.799
<v Speaker 2>tell them how you feel. But coming on too strong

0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:44.359
<v Speaker 2>is what I'm trying to get at. That's that's been

0:34:44.440 --> 0:34:47.840
<v Speaker 2>my downfall in the past. But to Tiffany's point, the

0:34:48.160 --> 0:34:50.320
<v Speaker 2>comment denominator thing, I think is going to be important,

0:34:50.320 --> 0:34:51.759
<v Speaker 2>and I think you need to make it about them

0:34:51.800 --> 0:34:55.160
<v Speaker 2>and not so much about you personally. I have kind

0:34:55.200 --> 0:34:57.520
<v Speaker 2>of played that, oh well, if you don't get this

0:34:57.640 --> 0:34:59.719
<v Speaker 2>under you know, under control, then you're gonna have to

0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:02.040
<v Speaker 2>rely me. And that didn't go over so hot. They

0:35:02.080 --> 0:35:04.960
<v Speaker 2>got pretty defensive. The thing about parents when they're older,

0:35:05.080 --> 0:35:06.880
<v Speaker 2>is they get really defensive when like you try to

0:35:06.960 --> 0:35:09.680
<v Speaker 2>parent them, at least in my experience, So if you

0:35:09.920 --> 0:35:11.680
<v Speaker 2>come at them like I need to take care of

0:35:11.760 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 2>you because you can't take care of yourself, I've got

0:35:14.560 --> 0:35:17.320
<v Speaker 2>a feeling you're going to get some pushback because you know,

0:35:17.440 --> 0:35:20.040
<v Speaker 2>to their credit, they're they're surviving. Maybe they don't have

0:35:20.200 --> 0:35:22.400
<v Speaker 2>everything you want them to have, but they're taking care

0:35:22.440 --> 0:35:25.640
<v Speaker 2>of themselves. They have you know, stable income and setting

0:35:25.680 --> 0:35:28.800
<v Speaker 2>aside money for taxes and all that. So maybe you know,

0:35:29.160 --> 0:35:32.120
<v Speaker 2>make start talking to them more about maybe their their future,

0:35:32.239 --> 0:35:34.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, where they see themselves as retiring. But I

0:35:34.719 --> 0:35:37.200
<v Speaker 2>don't know if you agree what really for whatever, what

0:35:37.400 --> 0:35:40.040
<v Speaker 2>really scares me about her question is the fact that

0:35:40.080 --> 0:35:42.160
<v Speaker 2>they don't have health insurance and they're in their fifties

0:35:42.920 --> 0:35:46.759
<v Speaker 2>Like that to me is quite terrifying. And I get

0:35:46.840 --> 0:35:50.640
<v Speaker 2>it because look, she her her mother's an independent contractor

0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:53.640
<v Speaker 2>and they probably you know, they earn a decent income,

0:35:53.920 --> 0:35:57.040
<v Speaker 2>and those health care plans on the marketplace are very expensive.

0:35:57.120 --> 0:35:59.719
<v Speaker 2>So if you don't get insurance, they can be very

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:02.840
<v Speaker 2>so if you don't qualify for subsidies, right, and I know,

0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:05.640
<v Speaker 2>I do know people who are you know, small business

0:36:05.680 --> 0:36:08.600
<v Speaker 2>owners or entrepreneurs, and they just forego the insurance, they

0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:12.000
<v Speaker 2>take the tax hit or is there tax penalty? I

0:36:12.080 --> 0:36:15.520
<v Speaker 2>forget did the Republicans get rid of that? Actually no,

0:36:15.640 --> 0:36:17.840
<v Speaker 2>I think that was one of the cornerstones of the

0:36:17.880 --> 0:36:21.279
<v Speaker 2>Obamacare Act that actually Republicans took away with that tax hit.

0:36:21.360 --> 0:36:24.960
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, regardless, it's it's expensive to get healthcare, but

0:36:25.360 --> 0:36:29.760
<v Speaker 2>that is probably the biggest risk to their financial future.

0:36:30.320 --> 0:36:32.640
<v Speaker 2>And I would just say I didn't read this part

0:36:32.680 --> 0:36:34.920
<v Speaker 2>of her question, but she mentions that she's helped them,

0:36:35.280 --> 0:36:37.839
<v Speaker 2>like by becoming that's just my dog freaking out. She's

0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:40.600
<v Speaker 2>helped them by becoming a co signer on their mortgage.

0:36:41.040 --> 0:36:45.040
<v Speaker 2>I would just be super careful to not like, because

0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:47.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, worse comes to worse if they get a

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:49.560
<v Speaker 2>bunch of medical debt and debt collectors. Calm. You don't

0:36:49.560 --> 0:36:51.759
<v Speaker 2>want to put your own financial security at risk. So

0:36:53.120 --> 0:36:55.920
<v Speaker 2>make sure that whatever you know, you need to put

0:36:55.960 --> 0:36:58.000
<v Speaker 2>your life jacket on first, or what is it, put

0:36:58.040 --> 0:37:01.719
<v Speaker 2>your life your oxygen oxygen.

0:37:01.200 --> 0:37:04.920
<v Speaker 1>Mask, yes, for your life decket oxygenation.

0:37:04.400 --> 0:37:06.719
<v Speaker 2>Mask covers and take and make sure that you're not

0:37:06.760 --> 0:37:09.680
<v Speaker 2>setting yourself up to get dragged down, you know, with them.

0:37:10.160 --> 0:37:12.120
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, that that lack of health care is maybe

0:37:12.200 --> 0:37:13.880
<v Speaker 2>where I would start, because that, to me is the

0:37:13.920 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 2>biggest risk as they get as they get older. It's

0:37:17.800 --> 0:37:21.520
<v Speaker 2>it can be truly. I mean, one hospital visit can

0:37:21.600 --> 0:37:23.520
<v Speaker 2>set you back tens of thousands of dollars, you know,

0:37:23.640 --> 0:37:27.040
<v Speaker 2>for something innocuous, and that that's as you get older.

0:37:27.080 --> 0:37:28.239
<v Speaker 2>There's just so much risk there.

0:37:28.800 --> 0:37:31.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I would say this too, is that one

0:37:31.440 --> 0:37:33.319
<v Speaker 1>of the things that like, you know, I got from

0:37:33.320 --> 0:37:36.239
<v Speaker 1>the book The catalyst, is that when you are trying

0:37:36.320 --> 0:37:39.680
<v Speaker 1>to push someone in a direction, there in the act

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:43.800
<v Speaker 1>natural reaction is to push back. You know that a

0:37:43.920 --> 0:37:47.800
<v Speaker 1>true catalyst creates an environment where the person changes of

0:37:47.880 --> 0:37:50.120
<v Speaker 1>their own free will. So asking yourself, like, how can

0:37:50.160 --> 0:37:51.799
<v Speaker 1>I create an environment where I'm not like you need

0:37:51.920 --> 0:37:53.880
<v Speaker 1>a pulling you along? You need to do this, You

0:37:54.000 --> 0:37:56.360
<v Speaker 1>need to do that instead of creating environment where it's like,

0:37:56.680 --> 0:37:58.360
<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, mom, you know I just signed up.

0:37:58.400 --> 0:38:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I just use them the health Care your website or

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:03.920
<v Speaker 1>policy Genius, which is like a website that many and

0:38:04.000 --> 0:38:06.320
<v Speaker 1>I have both used. I think you used it for

0:38:06.360 --> 0:38:08.200
<v Speaker 1>your dad, right, Mandy, And I used it for myself.

0:38:08.239 --> 0:38:09.040
<v Speaker 1>Before I got married.

0:38:09.120 --> 0:38:12.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh, Policy Genius actually used them, I used I did

0:38:12.600 --> 0:38:14.839
<v Speaker 2>use them to shop for my life insurance policy. Ended

0:38:14.960 --> 0:38:18.560
<v Speaker 2>up using Quote Wizard. But they're basically an insurance marketplace.

0:38:18.640 --> 0:38:20.960
<v Speaker 2>You can look up all kinds of types of insurance

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:24.319
<v Speaker 2>through them, health, life, frontal, pet, everything.

0:38:24.080 --> 0:38:26.040
<v Speaker 1>And so maybe you just maybe one of the things

0:38:26.160 --> 0:38:28.759
<v Speaker 1>is like the hurdle, like that's what's keeping folks back

0:38:28.760 --> 0:38:31.359
<v Speaker 1>because it's sometimes it's hard to like, ugh, I don't

0:38:31.360 --> 0:38:32.840
<v Speaker 1>want to do a thing because all the work that

0:38:32.920 --> 0:38:36.200
<v Speaker 1>I see it's involved. So if you become a catalyst

0:38:36.280 --> 0:38:38.920
<v Speaker 1>by making the environment super easy by saying, Okay, how

0:38:38.960 --> 0:38:41.120
<v Speaker 1>can I remove some of the hurdles that she might

0:38:41.160 --> 0:38:44.560
<v Speaker 1>have in mind for getting health insurance by doing most

0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:47.440
<v Speaker 1>of the preliminary work ahead of time, because you're right,

0:38:47.480 --> 0:38:50.440
<v Speaker 1>it is kind of scary, and you know, unfortunately sometimes

0:38:50.480 --> 0:38:53.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, we have to take care of our parents

0:38:53.120 --> 0:38:55.160
<v Speaker 1>the way they took care of us. So good luck

0:38:55.239 --> 0:38:56.919
<v Speaker 1>to you, and you know, if you want, like I said,

0:38:57.000 --> 0:38:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Catalysts by Jonah Berger was so good. I mean halfway

0:39:00.080 --> 0:39:03.480
<v Speaker 1>through it. But it's really teaching me how to not

0:39:03.640 --> 0:39:06.920
<v Speaker 1>be so pushy and instead create an environment where you know,

0:39:07.120 --> 0:39:10.640
<v Speaker 1>people get to make decisions for themselves, and hopefully they

0:39:10.719 --> 0:39:11.239
<v Speaker 1>turned my way.

0:39:12.120 --> 0:39:14.160
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm listening to you talk about it. I know

0:39:14.239 --> 0:39:15.960
<v Speaker 2>it's like a business book, but I'm thinking of all

0:39:15.960 --> 0:39:18.880
<v Speaker 2>the ways I use that those those tactics. Talking to

0:39:18.960 --> 0:39:21.680
<v Speaker 2>family who voted for Trump last election, including my own

0:39:21.719 --> 0:39:24.319
<v Speaker 2>mother who she did not vote for him this time around.

0:39:24.320 --> 0:39:26.279
<v Speaker 2>She voted for Biden. Not only that, but homegirl had

0:39:26.280 --> 0:39:29.239
<v Speaker 2>a Biden Harris sign in her front front yard, got

0:39:29.360 --> 0:39:31.799
<v Speaker 2>Michelle Obama's book, and put a Black Lives Matter sign

0:39:31.840 --> 0:39:34.160
<v Speaker 2>in her front yard and for her area in Saint Louis.

0:39:34.280 --> 0:39:37.960
<v Speaker 2>That was that was a big deal. So and the way,

0:39:38.120 --> 0:39:39.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, I had to and I thought back in

0:39:39.640 --> 0:39:42.360
<v Speaker 2>that little girl with the with the cancer lung pictures

0:39:42.440 --> 0:39:44.480
<v Speaker 2>and all like like, maybe we should try things a

0:39:44.520 --> 0:39:46.960
<v Speaker 2>little bit differently this time, Mandy, and not like, you know,

0:39:47.200 --> 0:39:49.880
<v Speaker 2>go so hard. But it was a four year obviously,

0:39:50.520 --> 0:39:56.400
<v Speaker 2>and it was having really slow, safe conversations around around

0:39:56.440 --> 0:39:58.719
<v Speaker 2>politics and her beliefs and race and my feelings and

0:39:58.760 --> 0:40:02.520
<v Speaker 2>stuff and on. I had to really tamp down my emotions.

0:40:02.600 --> 0:40:04.600
<v Speaker 2>My little brother and I both and my sister too,

0:40:04.719 --> 0:40:07.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, put our emotions aside, be open to hearing

0:40:07.840 --> 0:40:10.400
<v Speaker 2>her say some you know, things that we did not

0:40:10.520 --> 0:40:13.640
<v Speaker 2>agree with, and slowly but surely chip chip chip away,

0:40:13.800 --> 0:40:17.239
<v Speaker 2>and so yeah, that's that's interesting. And I I think

0:40:17.280 --> 0:40:19.239
<v Speaker 2>with and I think, you know, you're at an age

0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:23.160
<v Speaker 2>two anonymous Sarah, where you're old enough to know, okay,

0:40:23.200 --> 0:40:26.440
<v Speaker 2>I can't just like come in, you know, completely and

0:40:26.680 --> 0:40:28.600
<v Speaker 2>just tell them what to do. It's got to be

0:40:28.640 --> 0:40:31.960
<v Speaker 2>an open conversation setting, you know, creating a safe space,

0:40:32.120 --> 0:40:36.600
<v Speaker 2>no judgment, and try to slowly but surely even just

0:40:36.680 --> 0:40:41.080
<v Speaker 2>bringing up topics like insurance, like and understanding, you know,

0:40:41.239 --> 0:40:44.279
<v Speaker 2>just kind of interviewing them and maybe see what hang

0:40:44.400 --> 0:40:47.400
<v Speaker 2>ups they have or maybe why they aren't doing something.

0:40:47.600 --> 0:40:50.640
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes just asking a simple question, you realize there's a

0:40:50.760 --> 0:40:54.239
<v Speaker 2>barrier that they could easily fix. They just like, they

0:40:54.360 --> 0:40:57.080
<v Speaker 2>just need to tell you what the barrier is. I

0:40:57.160 --> 0:40:58.840
<v Speaker 2>remember I was talking to my aunt recently and she

0:40:59.080 --> 0:41:01.800
<v Speaker 2>was like, she kept complaining about her cell phone reception

0:41:01.920 --> 0:41:04.320
<v Speaker 2>and how her you know, she had no she couldn't

0:41:04.320 --> 0:41:05.719
<v Speaker 2>never talk to people because it was so bad. She

0:41:05.800 --> 0:41:08.120
<v Speaker 2>was trying to attend church on zoom and it would

0:41:08.160 --> 0:41:10.880
<v Speaker 2>never her her cell phone was so bad. And I

0:41:11.000 --> 0:41:12.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, do you have Internet? And she said no,

0:41:12.680 --> 0:41:14.879
<v Speaker 2>it's too expensive, YadA YadA, And I was like, look,

0:41:15.960 --> 0:41:19.160
<v Speaker 2>you're on public assistance. I'm going to look up a

0:41:19.239 --> 0:41:22.120
<v Speaker 2>program and see if there's something in Georgia that can

0:41:22.680 --> 0:41:25.360
<v Speaker 2>offer you affordable Wi Fi. And within a couple of

0:41:25.400 --> 0:41:27.080
<v Speaker 2>weeks she had ten dollars a month.

0:41:26.920 --> 0:41:27.719
<v Speaker 1>Wi Fi, you know.

0:41:28.320 --> 0:41:31.600
<v Speaker 2>And it was all just from a sense of oh,

0:41:31.719 --> 0:41:33.719
<v Speaker 2>this is the way it is. And I think, you know,

0:41:33.880 --> 0:41:36.480
<v Speaker 2>just opening up that conversation with someone in your family

0:41:36.600 --> 0:41:38.759
<v Speaker 2>to see maybe why it is that they're not doing

0:41:38.840 --> 0:41:42.719
<v Speaker 2>something and listening and listening and then gently trying to

0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:45.640
<v Speaker 2>help them find their way toward a solution can be

0:41:45.719 --> 0:41:49.440
<v Speaker 2>the way. But I totally identify with this question, and

0:41:49.560 --> 0:41:53.719
<v Speaker 2>I empathize with anyone out there looking at their parents

0:41:53.760 --> 0:41:56.160
<v Speaker 2>and being like, oof, that's a problem.

0:41:57.320 --> 0:42:02.200
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. Yep. That was a good question. No, that

0:42:02.320 --> 0:42:02.959
<v Speaker 1>was a good question.

0:42:03.360 --> 0:42:05.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank you Sarah so much. All Right, y'all, that

0:42:05.719 --> 0:42:08.680
<v Speaker 2>wraps it up for Q and as it's.

0:42:08.719 --> 0:42:14.120
<v Speaker 1>Time for boost or break up? Boost up? Break up?

0:42:14.160 --> 0:42:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Boost UPO are you gonna boost? Are you going to break?

0:42:21.520 --> 0:42:23.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, Tiffany knows. I'm thinking on the fly here, I

0:42:23.640 --> 0:42:27.440
<v Speaker 2>have a and it's gonna have multi multi mini boosts.

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:32.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna boost supporting a local bookstore. I recently you

0:42:32.920 --> 0:42:35.440
<v Speaker 2>can order books online from your local bookstores, y'all, and

0:42:36.160 --> 0:42:38.600
<v Speaker 2>and they're so nice about the books that you order.

0:42:38.680 --> 0:42:40.760
<v Speaker 2>I just ordered a few books from my local bookstore.

0:42:40.800 --> 0:42:43.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm just trying to think, how can I support small businesses?

0:42:44.200 --> 0:42:46.000
<v Speaker 2>To be honest, I feel a little guilty because I

0:42:46.040 --> 0:42:48.960
<v Speaker 2>did a lot of shopping on Cyber Monday or Black Friday,

0:42:49.000 --> 0:42:51.800
<v Speaker 2>whatever it was, because big, big retailers are having some

0:42:51.880 --> 0:42:55.000
<v Speaker 2>pretty big sales. But anyway, so shop small if you

0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:59.080
<v Speaker 2>can this holiday season and support local businesses. That's my

0:42:59.239 --> 0:43:01.840
<v Speaker 2>first boost. And then I finally sat down and watched

0:43:02.040 --> 0:43:04.360
<v Speaker 2>Jangle Jangle on Netflix last weekend.

0:43:05.000 --> 0:43:05.839
<v Speaker 1>So good.

0:43:05.920 --> 0:43:08.040
<v Speaker 2>When I say good, Tiffany, you got away. And I

0:43:08.120 --> 0:43:09.560
<v Speaker 2>know you're not into TV and all kind of stuff,

0:43:09.560 --> 0:43:11.440
<v Speaker 2>you got to watch this movie with Supergirl. You have to.

0:43:11.520 --> 0:43:14.600
<v Speaker 2>It's so good. It's like it's it's like the it's

0:43:14.680 --> 0:43:16.040
<v Speaker 2>like the fantasy.

0:43:17.360 --> 0:43:18.520
<v Speaker 1>A Disney movie.

0:43:18.560 --> 0:43:21.200
<v Speaker 2>It's not Disney, though, but it's like the fantasy film

0:43:21.480 --> 0:43:24.520
<v Speaker 2>for children that we deserved as little black children in

0:43:24.560 --> 0:43:29.360
<v Speaker 2>this country. There is oh like the plot, the quality,

0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:32.400
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, everything from the hair just go for

0:43:32.520 --> 0:43:34.279
<v Speaker 2>the hair, the makeup, and the music, but stay for

0:43:34.360 --> 0:43:36.319
<v Speaker 2>the quality of the story because it is also good.

0:43:36.360 --> 0:43:39.040
<v Speaker 2>The music was produced by John Legend. I don't know

0:43:39.080 --> 0:43:41.640
<v Speaker 2>who did hair and makeup, but you'll never like these

0:43:41.760 --> 0:43:44.640
<v Speaker 2>natural hairstyles that they created, these looks that they create

0:43:44.680 --> 0:43:48.240
<v Speaker 2>on these beautiful black performers. The cast is mostly black

0:43:48.560 --> 0:43:51.279
<v Speaker 2>and people of color. They're singing and dancing. And the

0:43:51.360 --> 0:43:54.240
<v Speaker 2>storyline is so good. It's it's basically about an inventor,

0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:59.040
<v Speaker 2>a famous inventor whose apprentice steals his steals his inventions,

0:43:59.120 --> 0:44:01.520
<v Speaker 2>his his master playlist for inventions, and it kind of

0:44:01.560 --> 0:44:03.800
<v Speaker 2>takes place like I don't know, like eighteen hundred z

0:44:04.160 --> 0:44:08.800
<v Speaker 2>times and it kind of and it features the power

0:44:09.000 --> 0:44:12.680
<v Speaker 2>of his daughter and her daughter, his granddaughter and helping

0:44:12.760 --> 0:44:16.480
<v Speaker 2>him get back to finding his own magic as an inventor.

0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:19.600
<v Speaker 2>And there is a little girl who plays the heroine

0:44:20.640 --> 0:44:24.160
<v Speaker 2>of this movie. And she is like a mathematical genius

0:44:24.760 --> 0:44:28.680
<v Speaker 2>and she is beautiful and she sings, and she is adorable,

0:44:28.880 --> 0:44:31.520
<v Speaker 2>and there's like a little and her and her and

0:44:31.640 --> 0:44:34.799
<v Speaker 2>her her sidekick. His name is Edison. It's like really

0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:38.719
<v Speaker 2>adorable British black boy, like you don't see Carol, like,

0:44:38.800 --> 0:44:40.759
<v Speaker 2>this is them. It was so good. I'm gonna shut

0:44:40.840 --> 0:44:43.600
<v Speaker 2>up down, but it was amazing. And I hope there's

0:44:43.719 --> 0:44:45.759
<v Speaker 2>sequels and three quools and all that because it was

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.719
<v Speaker 2>that that good. They really did that movie Justice.

0:44:49.680 --> 0:44:56.440
<v Speaker 1>Ooh sounds like as a family. Yes, well, I'll do

0:44:56.880 --> 0:45:00.400
<v Speaker 1>like a little bit of a oh. I guess this

0:45:00.440 --> 0:45:02.360
<v Speaker 1>is kind of boost like and like another kind of

0:45:02.440 --> 0:45:05.239
<v Speaker 1>like break, so boosting for I don't know, dude, did

0:45:05.320 --> 0:45:09.160
<v Speaker 1>you watch an Unforgiven Dave Chappelle? Did we talk about it? No,

0:45:09.239 --> 0:45:11.640
<v Speaker 1>we didn't. Did you see it on his ig page?

0:45:12.320 --> 0:45:12.880
<v Speaker 2>Did I watch?

0:45:13.280 --> 0:45:16.800
<v Speaker 1>Is it like one of his specials? So no, Unforgiven

0:45:16.920 --> 0:45:19.839
<v Speaker 1>is like this twenty eighteen to twenty minute. I don't

0:45:19.880 --> 0:45:22.280
<v Speaker 1>even call it special, just kind of like his audience

0:45:22.440 --> 0:45:26.480
<v Speaker 1>chat that he posted. He's a master storyteller. But the

0:45:26.560 --> 0:45:28.560
<v Speaker 1>purpose of the chat was to ask people, I don't

0:45:28.560 --> 0:45:29.880
<v Speaker 1>know if you've seen the signs where people are like

0:45:30.840 --> 0:45:34.040
<v Speaker 1>where he says, like, don't watch Chappelle show. I don't

0:45:34.040 --> 0:45:35.560
<v Speaker 1>know if you've heard people talking about it. Okay, so

0:45:36.239 --> 0:45:39.120
<v Speaker 1>so many people know that, you know. Years ago he

0:45:39.200 --> 0:45:41.759
<v Speaker 1>signed a contract with Comedy Central and it was like

0:45:41.760 --> 0:45:44.000
<v Speaker 1>a fifty million dollar contract. It was a banner contract.

0:45:44.040 --> 0:45:46.640
<v Speaker 1>Chappelle Show was one of the most popular sketch shows

0:45:46.719 --> 0:45:50.680
<v Speaker 1>in history ever made, but he walked away because he

0:45:51.960 --> 0:45:54.200
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't in alignment with how he wanted to show up.

0:45:54.239 --> 0:45:56.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not certain of the of the specifics of why

0:45:56.760 --> 0:45:58.799
<v Speaker 1>he walked away, but as a results of walking away,

0:45:58.840 --> 0:46:02.560
<v Speaker 1>they kept, you know, they kept his creative property. And

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:04.600
<v Speaker 1>he's like, yeah, I signed a contract, but it was

0:46:04.640 --> 0:46:07.480
<v Speaker 1>a crappy contract. And so you know, we all know

0:46:07.640 --> 0:46:10.880
<v Speaker 1>he's made a huge comeback. He has Netflix, He has

0:46:10.920 --> 0:46:13.280
<v Speaker 1>a deal with Netflix. I think it's like sixty million dollars.

0:46:14.080 --> 0:46:17.560
<v Speaker 1>And but now Comedy Central, which I think is owned

0:46:17.560 --> 0:46:20.520
<v Speaker 1>by Viacom, has been like now that he's like out

0:46:20.600 --> 0:46:26.160
<v Speaker 1>here shining again, they put took they leased or licensed

0:46:26.200 --> 0:46:29.960
<v Speaker 1>Chappelle Show to Netflix and HBO to play. And he

0:46:30.160 --> 0:46:31.959
<v Speaker 1>was pissed about it because he doesn't get any money,

0:46:32.480 --> 0:46:34.439
<v Speaker 1>you know, like his blood, sweat and tears. You guys

0:46:34.480 --> 0:46:36.359
<v Speaker 1>said that he was a loser, but not so much

0:46:36.440 --> 0:46:38.600
<v Speaker 1>now that you want to use his you know, his

0:46:38.719 --> 0:46:42.920
<v Speaker 1>intellectual property. And it was just a testament to why

0:46:43.040 --> 0:46:46.759
<v Speaker 1>ownership is so important. Why you know, I don't know

0:46:46.800 --> 0:46:49.840
<v Speaker 1>if you guys saw say the Last Dance where Scottie Pippen.

0:46:50.600 --> 0:46:52.800
<v Speaker 1>He when he first signed his contract when he was

0:46:52.840 --> 0:46:56.280
<v Speaker 1>a young basketball player. You know, he had many brothers

0:46:56.320 --> 0:46:58.320
<v Speaker 1>and sisters and I think his father was sick, so

0:46:58.440 --> 0:47:01.440
<v Speaker 1>he didn't sign the best deal. So even though he

0:47:02.360 --> 0:47:05.759
<v Speaker 1>was six time winner, number two basketball player in the league,

0:47:05.800 --> 0:47:07.960
<v Speaker 1>he was paid one hundred and twenty fifth or something

0:47:08.040 --> 0:47:11.040
<v Speaker 1>crazy like that. So it's just things like that. That's

0:47:11.160 --> 0:47:13.839
<v Speaker 1>just like it's it's a it's a boost in net

0:47:13.920 --> 0:47:16.880
<v Speaker 1>to watch it, but it's a break to be because

0:47:16.920 --> 0:47:20.080
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of sad how people and the industries take

0:47:20.120 --> 0:47:24.000
<v Speaker 1>advantage of people use up all of their talent and

0:47:24.080 --> 0:47:27.360
<v Speaker 1>their gifts and then not wanting to you know, not

0:47:27.520 --> 0:47:31.200
<v Speaker 1>wanting to equitably pay folks even if you sign a contract.

0:47:31.320 --> 0:47:33.640
<v Speaker 1>One thing that Dave said, He's like, I signed a contract,

0:47:33.640 --> 0:47:36.320
<v Speaker 1>but does that make it right? Yeah, Like you know,

0:47:36.560 --> 0:47:38.840
<v Speaker 1>like I remember I shared the story with you that

0:47:38.920 --> 0:47:42.880
<v Speaker 1>there was a company where they I did something for

0:47:43.000 --> 0:47:44.880
<v Speaker 1>them just for freaks. I thought it was a good thing.

0:47:45.239 --> 0:47:48.040
<v Speaker 1>It was a it's a conference to help black women,

0:47:48.520 --> 0:47:49.920
<v Speaker 1>and that's how they pulled me in. And I was like,

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:52.120
<v Speaker 1>you know what this sounds great. Not too many black

0:47:52.160 --> 0:47:55.359
<v Speaker 1>women are doing, you know, are making courses. So they

0:47:55.400 --> 0:47:57.080
<v Speaker 1>were like, oh, we'd love for you to to, you know,

0:47:57.160 --> 0:47:59.680
<v Speaker 1>do this conference with us. And I said, sure, did

0:47:59.719 --> 0:48:02.920
<v Speaker 1>the and I probably I did sign whatever, but I'm

0:48:02.960 --> 0:48:05.279
<v Speaker 1>thinking like, yeah, to sign to say you can use

0:48:05.320 --> 0:48:08.200
<v Speaker 1>my image for the conference. Like maybe a year later,

0:48:08.760 --> 0:48:12.600
<v Speaker 1>I saw my image in an AD and I was like, hey,

0:48:13.200 --> 0:48:16.160
<v Speaker 1>what's this. I didn't agree to be in an ad

0:48:16.880 --> 0:48:19.080
<v Speaker 1>And I remember it was in the CEO of CMO

0:48:19.440 --> 0:48:21.680
<v Speaker 1>and he said, yes, you did. Did you get the contract?

0:48:21.719 --> 0:48:26.440
<v Speaker 1>I was like wow. But the only thing that saved

0:48:26.480 --> 0:48:28.719
<v Speaker 1>it was they want me to do other work with them.

0:48:29.560 --> 0:48:32.560
<v Speaker 1>And I guess he thought about it because I was

0:48:32.680 --> 0:48:36.120
<v Speaker 1>about to come back and be like, yo, it's a

0:48:36.280 --> 0:48:38.440
<v Speaker 1>wrap for you because I'm one of well, I'll keep

0:48:38.440 --> 0:48:39.600
<v Speaker 1>a like cause I don't want to see the company.

0:48:39.840 --> 0:48:42.040
<v Speaker 1>But they came back. I was like, oh, but if

0:48:42.080 --> 0:48:43.279
<v Speaker 1>you want us to take it down, I said, take

0:48:43.320 --> 0:48:46.160
<v Speaker 1>it down, take it down, and then I proceeded when

0:48:46.160 --> 0:48:48.200
<v Speaker 1>I got on the phone to be like honestly, the

0:48:48.280 --> 0:48:51.799
<v Speaker 1>audacity and the gall like, don't do that. I did

0:48:51.880 --> 0:48:55.680
<v Speaker 1>that conference in service to black women. You tricky shysting

0:48:55.840 --> 0:48:59.520
<v Speaker 1>sheasters right, I couldn't believe it, right, But that's not

0:48:59.560 --> 0:49:02.640
<v Speaker 1>the first time. There is this one company that reaches

0:49:02.719 --> 0:49:05.480
<v Speaker 1>out every single year to all the financial folks so

0:49:05.600 --> 0:49:08.520
<v Speaker 1>they can make their fake top ten lists, top ten

0:49:08.640 --> 0:49:12.000
<v Speaker 1>financial advisors to follow. But then you read the contract, Mandy,

0:49:12.040 --> 0:49:14.799
<v Speaker 1>and it says we can use your image any way,

0:49:14.960 --> 0:49:18.920
<v Speaker 1>anyhow any It literally says anywhere in the universe, in

0:49:19.000 --> 0:49:27.120
<v Speaker 1>perpetuity the universe. Let's Pluto, and I remember what, so

0:49:27.200 --> 0:49:28.399
<v Speaker 1>I can be included in your list.

0:49:28.600 --> 0:49:28.640
<v Speaker 2>No.

0:49:29.400 --> 0:49:32.400
<v Speaker 1>That is their way of being able to take your

0:49:32.440 --> 0:49:34.759
<v Speaker 1>image and use it however they want. And I remember, like,

0:49:34.920 --> 0:49:36.400
<v Speaker 1>cause the first year I was so geek to do it.

0:49:36.520 --> 0:49:37.839
<v Speaker 1>You know, of course I signed. I didn't even look

0:49:37.840 --> 0:49:39.759
<v Speaker 1>at the contract. Really, I signed. And the second year

0:49:40.400 --> 0:49:42.440
<v Speaker 1>they reached out, I read it and I was like, well,

0:49:42.640 --> 0:49:45.600
<v Speaker 1>this seems a little overreaching. Why doesn't it just say, hey,

0:49:45.719 --> 0:49:47.400
<v Speaker 1>you gave us the right to use your picture to

0:49:47.480 --> 0:49:50.200
<v Speaker 1>be one of the top ten people for this particular article.

0:49:50.600 --> 0:49:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Why does it have to say all this? And they

0:49:51.880 --> 0:49:54.200
<v Speaker 1>were like, oh, I said, well, I'm not signing. They're like, well,

0:49:54.239 --> 0:49:57.000
<v Speaker 1>you signed the last year. I said, well, I'm not signing.

0:49:57.040 --> 0:49:58.680
<v Speaker 1>This is crazy and then I looked, and so many

0:49:58.719 --> 0:50:00.080
<v Speaker 1>of our friends were on the list. I'm sure or

0:50:00.080 --> 0:50:01.439
<v Speaker 1>they didn't look because you know you don't you would

0:50:01.480 --> 0:50:05.359
<v Speaker 1>never think. But now I am so careful, Like there

0:50:05.400 --> 0:50:07.319
<v Speaker 1>are a bunch of projects that I've done that I've

0:50:07.400 --> 0:50:11.160
<v Speaker 1>gone in and edited it myself and said, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,

0:50:11.200 --> 0:50:14.200
<v Speaker 1>you cannot use my image anywhere in the universe in perpetuity.

0:50:14.440 --> 0:50:16.319
<v Speaker 1>You can have me selling Colt forty five and ten

0:50:16.400 --> 0:50:20.920
<v Speaker 1>years on your platform. So just being mindful of like

0:50:21.040 --> 0:50:25.320
<v Speaker 1>ownership of your image and even as your whatever empire

0:50:25.400 --> 0:50:28.480
<v Speaker 1>that you're building for yourself, being mindful of the decisions

0:50:28.520 --> 0:50:31.040
<v Speaker 1>that you make now it would you be okay with

0:50:31.239 --> 0:50:33.880
<v Speaker 1>with the terms five, ten, fifteen, twenty years from now.

0:50:34.080 --> 0:50:37.000
<v Speaker 1>I have said no to so many air quote opportunities

0:50:37.040 --> 0:50:39.480
<v Speaker 1>that seem huge in the moment, but in the long

0:50:39.560 --> 0:50:42.000
<v Speaker 1>term I know that I would regret them. So just

0:50:42.080 --> 0:50:43.440
<v Speaker 1>being mindful of that. So it's like a kind of

0:50:43.440 --> 0:50:46.480
<v Speaker 1>like a boosty boosty I don't know if it's a break,

0:50:46.560 --> 0:50:50.120
<v Speaker 1>but definitely like a boosty cautionary tale TAILI So that's it,

0:50:50.239 --> 0:50:52.640
<v Speaker 1>And you haven't watched Unforgivable on Dave Chappelle's IG.

0:50:52.800 --> 0:50:54.919
<v Speaker 2>You totally should I did not know he was doing

0:50:55.120 --> 0:50:57.360
<v Speaker 2>like an IG series. That's dope. I love it. I

0:50:57.440 --> 0:50:59.960
<v Speaker 2>did watch his interview with Dave Letterman just real quick

0:51:00.080 --> 0:51:03.359
<v Speaker 2>on Netflix. He does reveal, I think, for the first time,

0:51:03.480 --> 0:51:06.239
<v Speaker 2>why he walked away, like the incident that happened. Dave

0:51:06.320 --> 0:51:08.400
<v Speaker 2>Letterman's a pretty good interview. I know he's problematic, but

0:51:08.480 --> 0:51:12.279
<v Speaker 2>whatever Dave Chappelle. He it was something about there was

0:51:12.360 --> 0:51:14.239
<v Speaker 2>a joke, there was a skit that he was doing,

0:51:14.560 --> 0:51:17.000
<v Speaker 2>and it was at the expense of black people with

0:51:17.120 --> 0:51:19.799
<v Speaker 2>a punchline and he said he someone in in the crew,

0:51:19.960 --> 0:51:24.000
<v Speaker 2>like a white guy. The way that he laughed set

0:51:24.120 --> 0:51:25.719
<v Speaker 2>Dave Chappelle off, and it was something like that. I

0:51:25.840 --> 0:51:28.200
<v Speaker 2>really encourage all to check out his interview with Dave

0:51:28.280 --> 0:51:31.320
<v Speaker 2>Letterman because it was really good and he really hadn't

0:51:31.320 --> 0:51:34.000
<v Speaker 2>spoken about why he walked away from fifty million dollars

0:51:34.040 --> 0:51:37.080
<v Speaker 2>and it was interesting to hear his perspective and I

0:51:37.160 --> 0:51:39.440
<v Speaker 2>could watch him talk all day, so I will be

0:51:39.560 --> 0:51:42.080
<v Speaker 2>checking out. Was it called unforgiven unforgivable?

0:51:42.200 --> 0:51:45.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, unforgiven. I think it's unforgiven. It's it's just I

0:51:45.400 --> 0:51:46.960
<v Speaker 1>don't even know that he's doing a series he just

0:51:47.040 --> 0:51:50.200
<v Speaker 1>posted on his IG and it's just so masterfully told.

0:51:50.440 --> 0:51:54.680
<v Speaker 2>It's just yeah awesome, alrighty, all right, Well that was

0:51:54.719 --> 0:51:57.680
<v Speaker 2>a great boosty breaky. I love a good boosty breaky.

0:51:58.280 --> 0:51:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, me too.

0:52:00.400 --> 0:52:03.440
<v Speaker 2>Alright, it's December, what the heck? Alright, you guys, I

0:52:03.680 --> 0:52:07.319
<v Speaker 2>know we will see y'all next week. Let's finish out

0:52:07.320 --> 0:52:10.840
<v Speaker 2>this year, right, just we're almost there, right there to

0:52:10.880 --> 0:52:12.640
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty one. I don't know what's on the other

0:52:12.719 --> 0:52:16.320
<v Speaker 2>side of this particular rainbow of dumpster fires, but I

0:52:16.400 --> 0:52:20.960
<v Speaker 2>hope it's something nice. I bet you it is. Stay positive,