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Speaker 2: Brownambissionstore dot com. Y'all, happy happy holidays.

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Speaker 1: Hey hey, hey we're back. We're black, We're Bread Ambitions.

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Speaker 1: You can tell you I could do like I'm doing a

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Speaker 1: soulder semmy. Can you hear it in my voice?

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Speaker 2: I was distracted by my own lack of like rhythm

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Speaker 2: when I was trying to go, and I harmonized. But

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Speaker 2: it's going to work out. Hello, Happy post Thanksgiving everybody.

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Speaker 1: I know, how is your Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 2: Mandra It was a whirl ef and wind. Let me

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Speaker 2: just tell you, I feel like I'm still recuperating.

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Speaker 1: It was.

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Speaker 2: It was great, though it was as good as it

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Speaker 2: could have been with you know, the pandemic and Zoom

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Speaker 2: and all of that. But as y'all know, my baby's

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Speaker 2: first birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, and I would say

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Speaker 2: the prep work began a week before the big day.

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Speaker 2: I mean I was baking cakes all weekend in preparation

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Speaker 2: for his birthday cake and then all the Thanksgiving food.

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Speaker 2: I just like did the most. But it was really nice.

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Speaker 2: We had We had my husband's brother and sister in law,

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Speaker 2: and then his mom came and then we had a

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Speaker 2: whole you know, a whole party on Zoom. But you know,

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Speaker 2: baby baby Rio had a magical first birthday. I will say, though,

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Speaker 2: do you ever get like after a big event you

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Speaker 2: feel like a little bit down afterward? I maybe it

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Speaker 2: was like all the adrenaline pumping, But the last few

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Speaker 2: days I have just been like ragged, raggedy, ragged ragged.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't really help matters that the day of his

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Speaker 2: first birthday. And if you're a new mom and you breastfeed,

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Speaker 2: like your baby you're nursing, you know, throughout the day,

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Speaker 2: all the time for the first year. That's what's recommended

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Speaker 2: by the experts. And I had always told myself, like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: after twelve months, if he's still into it, you know,

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Speaker 2: we'll try to wean because I would like my boobs

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Speaker 2: back and like my freedom to not have to be,

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Speaker 2: you know, around all the time. And I thought it

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Speaker 2: would be a long process and like I was gonna

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Speaker 2: have to ease him out of it because oh, he

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Speaker 2: like loves mommy and he's so attached and like it's

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Speaker 2: our special time. Homeboy woke up the morning of his

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Speaker 2: first birthday, took one look at my boobs and was like, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm good, and.

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Speaker 1: He has a nurse.

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Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. He was like, Tommy, didn't you know

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Speaker 2: the American Society of Pediatrics recommends only until twelve months,

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Speaker 2: So we good.

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Speaker 1: Wow, Because I say, I know so many moms who

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Speaker 1: are like the kid is like, girl, if you don't

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Speaker 1: come over here with those boobs, I know.

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Speaker 2: Well, there was this whole like viral thread. I'm on

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Speaker 2: this Black Black Girl Magic Peloton edition on Facebook and

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Speaker 2: it's just an amazing community and this one thread was

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Speaker 2: going viral. This woman posted a picture of her like

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Speaker 2: toddler nursing while she was on the bike, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, wow, you know, and then just dozens

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Speaker 2: of other moms started posting about their sixteen month old,

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Speaker 2: their twenty two month old, how they just are still

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Speaker 2: on the boob, and yeah, I'm blessed. But I wasn't

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Speaker 2: expecting that at all. So I think there's also this

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Speaker 2: little known effect when you stop breastfeeding all of a

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Speaker 2: sudden where you have like like a hormone crash. So

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm riding that wave down, but it's okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll bounce back.

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Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't know that. I never thought about that.

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Speaker 2: That would make sense, Mean, your body, this was a

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Speaker 2: lot more than you bargain for. You're like, girl, I

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Speaker 2: just want to know how the turkey tasted like done.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, if you're if you're a mom, who's who's

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Speaker 2: dealt with that? It's yeah, they just don't talk about it.

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Speaker 2: But after you because you have to produce so much

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Speaker 2: hormones to make food for your baby for so long,

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Speaker 2: and it's just like after you give birth. You know.

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Speaker 2: That's why postpartum depression and anxiety are so common, are

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Speaker 2: not so common but why they happen is, you know,

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Speaker 2: all of a sudden, your body is the pro the

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Speaker 2: hormones you were producing to sustain that life are crashing,

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Speaker 2: and similar things happen when you are no longer breastfeed,

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Speaker 2: and that's why they say don't do it cold turkey.

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Speaker 2: But my baby had other brands. He's like, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: would like to try other things like orange juice and

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Speaker 2: wild sake salmon.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I can't believe he's only turning one because honestly,

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Speaker 1: you know, he looks too. He does.

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Speaker 2: I know he gets mistaken for it. I mean, we've

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Speaker 2: met other young babies, not close, but I've seen them

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Speaker 2: from Afar and and he's he's in the ninety nine

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Speaker 2: percentile for height.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say, because Rio is really tall.

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's it's what I was thinking. I

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Speaker 1: was like, wait, he's a big boy. Yeah, he is

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Speaker 1: walking all.

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Speaker 2: Over the place.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, I mean, I feel like you've got tall in

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Speaker 1: your family, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean my husband's side is pretty tall. My side's

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Speaker 2: pretty above average. So you know, he he I don't

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Speaker 2: know where he puts it because he eats like so much.

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Speaker 2: I think he's Also he's also very active, like now

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Speaker 2: he walks and he's all over the house and it's

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Speaker 2: so cute seeing him become more confident walking and he

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Speaker 2: runs and he my brother got him a little Bens

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Speaker 2: for his birthday, like a baby Bence.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Uncle. If not to give you a baby,

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Speaker 1: who's going to give you a baby Bence? But your uncle,

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Speaker 1: your uncle Drake.

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Speaker 2: Right, that is what Uncle Drake would give. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: he's all over the place, He's got a lot of energy.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, it's crazy. I think I also too. And

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Speaker 2: y'all know I've talked about like my struggles with anxiety

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Speaker 2: through having the baby and all that, and I really

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Speaker 2: came out on the other side of that so much stronger.

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Speaker 2: But I look back and I think I was just

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Speaker 2: in my mind, I had made his first birthday like

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Speaker 2: this finish line, like just make it to his first birthday,

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Speaker 2: like you're gonna You're gonna do it. You can do

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Speaker 2: this if you got it. And then it came and went,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh damn, no, magical childcare has cropped

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Speaker 2: up and the pandemic is still raging, and okay, we

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Speaker 2: gotta keep going, all right, So we took a moment.

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Speaker 2: We celebrated. Now on to the next marathon. I guess, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: But how my Thanksgiving your affair?

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Speaker 1: It was good on the side, I did my usual

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Speaker 1: Vonda cooked. I was like, yes, Wonda. It was so

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Speaker 1: crazy that I called her the week before and I

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, Vonda, She's like her first words out

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Speaker 1: of her mouth work I got you for Thanksgiving. I

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, bye, she knew all this I was

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Speaker 1: calling to be like. So we had traditional blackly black

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving affair, like macaroni cheese, color greens and candied yims.

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Speaker 1: I asked her to do a fright a small fried turkey,

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Speaker 1: which was I don't even like turkey, lamb, you know,

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Speaker 1: so potato salad, corn bread. It was really good. And

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Speaker 1: although we couldn't, you know, like hang out with my parents,

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Speaker 1: I did bring them some food the next day, all

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Speaker 1: massed up, you know, yeah, and then we did Zoom too.

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Speaker 1: So but you know, it's just hard because Thanksgiving is

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Speaker 1: really one of the houses where we really do truly

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Speaker 1: all get together. My sister usually flies up from Chicago

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Speaker 1: with the baby and her husband because his family also

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Speaker 1: lives in them in Jersey too, so it just feels weird,

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Speaker 1: not you know, not connecting, although it was nice to

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Speaker 1: see folks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it was. You know, we had zoom playing for

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Speaker 2: like the birthday. Honestly it was more birthday than Thanksgiving here,

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Speaker 2: but we did. I made like sweet potato souflet and

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Speaker 2: I made a turkey breast, but you know, we have

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Speaker 2: it was our Enrique's families Dominicans, and we had a

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Speaker 2: big old like the pernal was the center of the table,

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Speaker 2: just a big old What's a pernill is roasted pork

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Speaker 2: and it's.

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Speaker 1: And I do love. I'm not gonna lie. No. I

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Speaker 1: always say like I don't really eat pork, but you

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Speaker 1: put a delaized ham in front of me, Like it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things like I don't really eat oh

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Speaker 1: but that I eat that. Yeah, I eat that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. His mom makes the best perennial. So she made

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Speaker 2: the perenial and I knew she was bringing it. So

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Speaker 2: I made a very tiny, sad turkey breast, but just

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Speaker 2: you know, just to tick that box. But really, what

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Speaker 2: I spent the most time doing was baking and fulfilling

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Speaker 2: every ambition I had of being on any baking show.

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Speaker 2: And I can confirm I could not be a baker.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how bakers do it day in and

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Speaker 2: day out. I never want to see cake again. And

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Speaker 2: if you are fortunate enough to be a neighbor, you

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Speaker 2: have gotten at least half a pound of cake delivered

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Speaker 2: to you, because we had that much cake left over.

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Speaker 2: But I was pretty proud. I was. I made, I made.

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Speaker 2: I made him a sloth shaped birthday cake and it

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Speaker 2: was a labor of love. And he tore it the

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Speaker 2: heck apart right away.

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Speaker 1: Oh. First of all, I was like, that cake looked

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Speaker 1: like I was like, wait, is that what Nandy was

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Speaker 1: working on? Because I saw I think you did a

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Speaker 1: story where you showed like, you know, you were working

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Speaker 1: on the cake, and I was like, oh, what is

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Speaker 1: this gonna be? It looks so good. I'm not gonna lie,

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Speaker 1: you know how. It's like, you know what they asked for,

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Speaker 1: what they got.

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Speaker 2: No, it looked like I was afraid you posting like

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Speaker 2: a nailed it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, no, but it looks so good. I was like, Wow, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you did an excellent job. Yeah. Mean, while I'm over

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Speaker 1: here like plug so I'm doing my well, y'all know,

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Speaker 1: I've been doing IVA for like a thousand years. So

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Speaker 1: this cycle that I'm doing is like a test cycle

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Speaker 1: because I've got one little embryo left. But they want

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Speaker 1: to do like a test cycle because I guess when

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Speaker 1: they when they implant an embryo, it can be like

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Speaker 1: one of two days that are your ideal days. And usually,

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Speaker 1: you know, they kind of guesstimate, and because people have

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Speaker 1: like twenty thirty embryos, they're like, oh, well, just guesstimate,

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Speaker 1: you know. But with me, they're like, girl, we cannot guesstimate.

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Speaker 1: So instead they put you through the cycle. We're putting

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Speaker 1: me through the cycle. They do it. It's literally called

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Speaker 1: the mock cycle where I have to go in tomorrow

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Speaker 1: day one and they're going to test my lining. You

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Speaker 1: do its lining, and then I have to go on

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Speaker 1: day two so they can see, oh, Tiffany's a day

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Speaker 1: two girl. You know. But when I tell you, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I honestly didn't eat that much during Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: I stopped at like six thirty. I had one plate.

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't like, you know, super like, I wasn't

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Speaker 1: super hungry. And then but I have been putting on

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Speaker 1: weight like crazy. So finally I called them. I was like,

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Speaker 1: is it is this? This is this the estrogen? And

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh yeah, girl, cause I'm like, I bot

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Speaker 1: like five pounds and like a week and a half

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Speaker 1: and I've been intimate and fasting, walking and drinking my

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Speaker 1: apple side of vinegarl I'm like, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Oh lord, so it is.

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Speaker 1: But thankfully, I mean like after these two, I'll you know,

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Speaker 1: they'll probably take like a month before I start to

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Speaker 1: cycle for real, for real, so I'll be able to

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Speaker 1: come down because they had I'm taking estrogen four different ways,

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Speaker 1: so there's like a patch, there's a shot that I take,

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Speaker 1: there's a pill, and then there's a the pository and

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Speaker 1: I'm just like so it's like, I know, fun times,

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Speaker 1: You're like, this.

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Speaker 2: Is poor y'all came to the right show if you're

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Speaker 2: a new listener.

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Speaker 1: I know, but where's our friend MS who don't want

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Speaker 1: to hear about my U doors Hey right.

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Speaker 2: Well now she knows about my plot the ducks okay,

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Speaker 2: and they are people and I don't have any cabbage leaves,

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Speaker 2: but yeah.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, so it's just the horrible like it's I

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Speaker 1: guess I'm just like pumped, pumped, pumped for the hormone.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, I was just I'm not like, you know,

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Speaker 1: like weepy or anything like that, but I definitely have

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Speaker 1: been like super tired. And like I said, I'm like

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Speaker 1: gaining weight when I haven't been eating like crazy salt.

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Speaker 1: That's fun times. I just hope that, like you know,

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Speaker 1: so say it prayer if you believe in prayer. But

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Speaker 1: like you know, this time around looks like I said,

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Speaker 1: it's just a mock. But then the next time I

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Speaker 1: do my cycles really like kind of like our last

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Speaker 1: hurrah with IVF, and then after that we would just

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Speaker 1: I guess, try naturally, I know.

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Speaker 2: So it's like I hear there's My sister in law

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Speaker 2: came downstairs, her staying with us, which has been amazing.

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Speaker 2: They she came downstairs today and she was like, there's

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Speaker 2: going to be a lunar eclips tonight, so you should,

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Speaker 2: you know, if you want to say and intention it's

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Speaker 2: a good time. I was like, what, apparently around the

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Speaker 2: lunar eclipse is when it's a good I don't know,

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Speaker 2: it's a good time to make like a resolution or

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Speaker 2: like hope for something in the future. So tonight I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna think about your embryo and you're u

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Speaker 2: dinglining and it won't be weird all.

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Speaker 1: My mother was like, I'm a prayer worri, don'torry, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna talk to Jesus.

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, okay, thanks for sometimes you just gotta.

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Speaker 2: I don't pray that often. But I remember when when

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Speaker 2: Rio was being born and he didn't want to come,

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Speaker 2: and they were coming at me with that knife, not really,

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Speaker 2: not literally, but they were threatening in the sea section.

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, baby, it's time anyway, Well, no

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Speaker 2: one has been through it more than you have. It

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Speaker 2: seems it's it's just and you've handled it with such

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Speaker 2: a grace. And I know it hasn't. I mean obviously

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Speaker 2: it's been like ups and downs and ups and downs,

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Speaker 2: and I'm really proud, really proud of you. You've been

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Speaker 2: so tough. If this baby, if his name is ain't miracle,

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, you better never talk about this. Better

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Speaker 1: be the most the sweetest, non crying baby.

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Speaker 2: We were talking about pressure on first generation babies, what

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Speaker 2: about like the last embryo babies, Like do you know.

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Speaker 1: Like you want the last? Oh god, my okay, like

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Speaker 1: this you gotta bring me home a B plus didn't

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Speaker 1: know what I had to do. I just pray that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't have a big head like my husband, because

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Speaker 1: Lord have mercy.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, well, you know they start out small, they do.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry, I know, but I heard he was born

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Speaker 1: with that big nugget. I was like, Lord, c section

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Speaker 1: for me. No, but no. I mean, honestly, it's been good,

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Speaker 1: just been despite all the pandemic and all the I

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Speaker 1: just feel like in such a better space. So many

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Speaker 1: of y'all have reached out to Stephanie from Navy psych

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Speaker 1: the therapist Finder. I just spoke with my one of

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Speaker 1: my friends today. She was like, oh my gosh, she

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Speaker 1: was amazing. I spoke to my other friend. He was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, he's like, did you cry. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: of course I cried, Like because you do like a

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Speaker 1: session with her and then she figures out like you

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Speaker 1: like what you need. Like one of my friends from college,

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Speaker 1: she was like, she takes like meds and she was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you need a therapist that is also a psycho therapist,

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Speaker 1: so that way understands like what meds are going to

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Speaker 1: you know, like how meds are interacting with with your hormones,

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Speaker 1: you know, and other things that you have going on. Stephanie.

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Speaker 1: Is just amazing because to be able to have a

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Speaker 1: therapist kind of like listen, hear you, understand and then

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Speaker 1: pair you because sometimes you don't even know what you need.

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Speaker 1: I just have to say, like that was just and

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Speaker 1: just to hear the feedback from like so many people

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Speaker 1: hitting me up, it was just it's just been amazing.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like in such a better space because

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Speaker 1: I start with my I start with my person that

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Speaker 1: she connected me with December eleventh, So I'm like so

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Speaker 1: jazzed about it because it's been three years we've been

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Speaker 1: talking about it, and so to say like it's happening,

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Speaker 1: it's happening, so so happy. Yeah, it's just thank you.

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Speaker 2: I text my therapist when he stopped breastfinger. I was

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Speaker 2: like Laura, She's like, it's ye, we'll talk about it

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Speaker 2: on Thursday. That's just the relationship I have with my therapist. No, well,

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Speaker 2: that's amazing. And for people who maybe you didn't hear

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Speaker 2: that episode or you forgot NAVI, it's called NAVI psych

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Speaker 2: right and av.

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Speaker 1: I p s y c 's Her name is Stephanie

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Speaker 1: I don't get a name money, so you know, yeah, we.

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Speaker 2: Don't get me just awesome, But yeah, don't she just

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Speaker 2: have her on the show, So that'd be dope, and

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Speaker 2: that would be so she's like, yeah, she's a connector.

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Speaker 2: She'll talk to you, interview you, and then match you

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Speaker 2: with a therapist. And she works nationwide. Yep, she works nationwide,

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Speaker 2: and she's a therapist herself, which is awesome. And then

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Speaker 2: she just also has like a wide pool of therapists

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Speaker 2: and places that she pulls from. But you know, like

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Speaker 2: how teachers have a ton of teacher friends, she also

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Speaker 2: has a lot of therapists people like in her personal network.

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Speaker 2: So she's also using that network to be like, do

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Speaker 2: you know somebody who and she what I love too.

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Speaker 2: It's not just the connection. She also like takes your

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Speaker 2: insurance information, so if you're like I really need a

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Speaker 2: therapist that works with my insurance, she will find that

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Speaker 2: match as well. So it's like honestly awesome, all around amazing.

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Speaker 2: We'll put a link to NAVI psych and our show

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Speaker 2: notes and yeah, if it's never too late to start

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Speaker 2: your mental health journey, and you know, maybe we can

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Speaker 2: plug our partner better help if you want like a

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Speaker 2: nice way and easy way to enter entry point into therapy.

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Speaker 2: I know my sisters used Better Help, which is an

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Speaker 2: online talk therapy service, and it's just it's never too late.

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Speaker 2: And this year, and I think it's the same realization

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Speaker 2: I had after Rio's first birthday, which is like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we're still in this pandemic and it's been a year.

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Speaker 2: And I think even just like having someone to talk

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Speaker 2: to and reflect on how the last year, how things

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Speaker 2: have you know, been so crazy, it's just so so helpful.

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Speaker 2: So we hope that y'all are taking care of your

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Speaker 2: mental health and whatever way you can. And that's a yeah,

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Speaker 2: thanks for sharing that resource.

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Speaker 1: To no problem, anything else you want to chat about,

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Speaker 1: and if you guys, if you need like a little

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Speaker 1: because I know it's a little crazy. I mean, although

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Speaker 1: we know who won the election and I know it's

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Speaker 1: a little crazy, I still have to plug. Like I

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Speaker 1: love that Instagram account. Neil what's his nast name? He

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Speaker 1: is a he's a Supreme Court attorney. I think that's

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Speaker 1: what he says. But he is Neil Katal k a

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Speaker 1: t y out Neil Kata. He's a supreme a Supreme

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Speaker 1: Court lawyer, a law professor, and he's a former acting

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Speaker 1: Solicitor General. So this guy is just like all and

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Speaker 1: he said he argued forty one cases in front of RBG,

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Speaker 1: so he's just brilliant. But what he does is every

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Speaker 1: day he does like this mini like episode on Instagram

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Speaker 1: called court Side, and I listened to it to call

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Speaker 1: my political nerves because he breaks down in layman's terms,

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Speaker 1: what's happening as far as like you know, like the

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Speaker 1: the with what's happening with the former administration their refusal

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Speaker 1: to accept defeat, and but also like what's actually happening

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Speaker 1: in the court system, like what what you know, what

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Speaker 1: what's being handed down? You know, what's what? What's actually happening.

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Speaker 1: Like it's one thing that the current administration will say

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Speaker 1: on TV of fraud, fraud, fraud, but then when they

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Speaker 1: actually file the paperwork in court, they don't say fraud

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Speaker 1: because you can actually be liable and go to jail

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Speaker 1: for that. So it's just like if you for me,

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Speaker 1: I'm someone who you know, there was a lot of

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Speaker 1: worry for me, but that page helped to calm my

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Speaker 1: nerves because I get to hear from this like you know,

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Speaker 1: legal perspective, what's actually happening, no spin, no whatever, but like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is what happened in court today. Great, good to know.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, Neil Kata, that's my dude.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love him. I followed him once you mentioned

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Speaker 2: him on the last show.

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Speaker 1: He's isn't he good?

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Speaker 2: He's really good? And this is a good time to

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Speaker 2: plug and promise we'll go to questions after this. But

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Speaker 2: I have to plug. The Georgia Senate runoff election is

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Speaker 2: fun ning. So if you haven't requested your mail in ballot,

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Speaker 2: go ahead because the election is happening in the first

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Speaker 2: week of January. So if you're planning any holiday travel,

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Speaker 2: just get it done, get it out of the way.

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Speaker 2: I'm already harassing. I've cast an even wider net this

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Speaker 2: time in terms of who I am badgering in my

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Speaker 2: family in Georgia. But this Senate race is so so important.

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Speaker 2: And as a quick reminder, there's two Senate seats up

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Speaker 2: for grabs in Georgia at the same time, which is

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Speaker 2: very rare. And these two seats, if Democrats lose them,

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Speaker 2: you know we're really in trouble. I think that if

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Speaker 2: there hasn't been one takeaway from the Trump administration. It's

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Speaker 2: that if the Democrats or the party that you want

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Speaker 2: in power doesn't control the House and Senate, then really

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Speaker 2: policies that you want to get past just won't go anywhere.

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Speaker 2: So you really need you know, Tiffany and I are

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Speaker 2: obviously progressive Democrat leaning, but we really need the majority

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Speaker 2: in the Senate. So if you know anyone in Georgia,

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Speaker 2: please let them know to go out there and vote.

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Speaker 2: We need big, big turnout. So you can check out

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Speaker 2: I will vote dot com. It's a fantastic resource. It

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Speaker 2: has all the information you'll need on voting locations and

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Speaker 2: early mail in ballots and all that jazz. We'll put

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Speaker 2: a link to the notes in our podcast. And even

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Speaker 2: if it's not you, but you have a friend, a cousin,

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Speaker 2: an uncle, coworker, whatever in Georgia, it doesn't hurt. It's

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Speaker 2: not pushy. I mean a little bit pushy, but it

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Speaker 2: doesn't hurt to remind them of key dates and deadlines

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Speaker 2: and hold them a tiny bit countable.

430
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay. And that is the tea, the tea

431
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 1: with Mandy and Tiffany. Oh.

432
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: I like that. I like that' spin off show. You'll

433
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 2: be right back with some of y'all's questions. All right,

434
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: we are back y'all with your questions again. You can

435
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 2: hit us up with your questions. We love you hear them.

436
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 2: Brown Ambition Podcast on Instagram. We're also Brown Ambition Podcast

437
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com if you want to email us.

438
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 2: The old fashion way, but here, let's take a question

439
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 2: from Instagram. This comes from listener Mika. I think I

440
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 2: pronounced that right. Yep. She gave me a ooh, very

441
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 2: handy finetic spelling of her name, Mika. Mika says, my

442
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 2: man and I are so proud that we've saved ten

443
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 2: thousand dollars for our wedding. This is the number that

444
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 2: I had in mind for what I wanted to budget

445
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 2: for a low key event. We've been together for eight

446
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 2: years and our domestic partners in California. It's almost like

447
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 2: you're married. I don't see us getting married for a

448
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 2: couple of years.

449
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: Though.

450
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 2: Where would you recommend we keep this nugget of cash

451
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 2: for a happy day. I was thinking of setting it

452
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 2: aside in a stock market index fund. Love you and

453
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 2: tips so much. Thank you for your hard work and

454
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 2: I think, possibly most of all, sharing your humanity while

455
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 2: still being a boss ow Meca. Yeah, it's a really

456
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 2: good question, and I think a lot of couples might

457
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 2: be in this situation. If you were planning to get

458
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 2: married this year, you might have like a little pocket

459
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 2: of cash that you were oh that was my phone

460
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 2: being dropped on the floor. Sorry, pocketive cash, you know

461
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 2: that is on hold, Yeah, until you get married next

462
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: year or the year after. This is interesting so with

463
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: any kind of investing, because you're talking about, you know,

464
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 2: taking this ten K and putting it in the market.

465
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 2: For me personally, the time horizon, even though it's two

466
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 2: years out, is pretty short, and I don't gonna say

467
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 2: that yeah right, I mean two years is still you know,

468
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 2: especially with the market. We're not done with this economic

469
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 2: crisis that we're in. I know, the market has made

470
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 2: a huge comeback this week. I think my four and

471
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 2: one K was like, grow you up fifteen percent. I

472
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 2: was like, thank you. But it's been up and down

473
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 2: and up and down, and I think it will continue

474
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,119
Speaker 2: to be that way, you know, in the coming months.

475
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:50,360
Speaker 2: So who knows what could happen. I personally don't think

476
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 2: that's the best move for something that you're going to

477
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 2: want to pull out and especially I know how weddings work.

478
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 2: I'm an expert. I was married. Well, any any big event,

479
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 2: you don't always pay the day of your weddings. Even

480
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: though your wedding dates two years out. Your wedding deposits

481
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 2: might have to go down within a year, you know.

482
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 2: So I and you're and you're buying stuff up until

483
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,239
Speaker 2: the day, especially if it's a low key event, you're

484
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 2: doing your own flowers or whatnot. I think you just

485
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 2: park it in a high yield you know, savings account,

486
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 2: maybe a CD, but even that again maybe not over

487
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: a year because otherwise you're gonna lock it up and

488
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 2: you'll pay a fee if you take it out earlier

489
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 2: with the CD, and rates aren't that hot and right

490
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 2: now anyway. So yeah, that's anything you want to add

491
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 2: to that tip.

492
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, like Emmy, if you are really

493
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: itching to do a little something, to Mandy's point, like

494
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: you know you're gonna be paying for things before. It's

495
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: not like that Dada wedding day. Here's my ten thousand.

496
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 1: But if you are itching to say, but I want

497
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: to do a little something, maybe take a quarter of it,

498
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 1: like twenty five hundred and maybe if you were gonna

499
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 1: put it in an index fund if it means that

500
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,159
Speaker 1: much to you, to see if you can get something

501
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 1: out of it. But yeah, two years is kind of

502
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 1: a short time horizon. Ideally, you like, you know, three

503
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 1: to five years minimum to really see if your money's

504
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: gonna move and shake. And although because I saw this

505
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 1: on ig and I'm not gonna lie, it grated my gears.

506
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: Is that what Peter from Mom Family Guy says? This

507
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: greats my gears. Grinds my gears? Yes, right, so it

508
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 1: grinded my gears. It was this guy who was an

509
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 1: investor and clearly, you know, pretty savvy. He was like,

510
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 1: my investments are up a thousand percent since the beginning

511
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 1: of the year. I told y'all don't save and to

512
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: invest your money anyway and to invest your money instead.

513
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: And I wanted to like throw the phone that because like,

514
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: great for you. But if someone invested without doing any

515
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 1: sort of savings in the beginning of the year and

516
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: their money didn't go up one thousand percent instead it

517
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: was down you know, ten twenty percent, because maybe they

518
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: chose individual stocks and you know, they just didn't choose

519
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 1: stocks that went up, and now they have kids to feed,

520
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 1: so what are we saying. So I just like, investing

521
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 1: is not the end all be all it's gonna save

522
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: you from all the things. So it should never your

523
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: You should never put money in that you absolutely need

524
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: in the next ideally in the next five years. So so,

525
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: like I said, if you are going to put a

526
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: little something, maybe twenty five percent, twenty five hundred dollars

527
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 1: and see where it goes. But knowing that, you know what,

528
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 1: at least we have seventy five hundred that we can

529
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 1: rock and roll with. But congratulations, that's you know, that's awesome.

530
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 2: All right, Mika, thank you so much for your question.

531
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening real quick. I wanted to you know,

532
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 2: you guys send really lovely messages sometimes, and even though

533
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 2: they're not questions, I thought it would be nice to

534
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 2: like read one of them once in a while. So

535
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 2: this is a note from one of our followers on

536
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 2: IG named Melanie. She says, thank you for last week's

537
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 2: episode when you all said it's okay not to be

538
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 2: saving due to what's going on around us. Prior to this,

539
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 2: I was doing a decent job and I was planning

540
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 2: to pick it up this year, but furlough changed that

541
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 2: but thank you for saying it's okay. We pressure ourselves

542
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,959
Speaker 2: sometimes and we just needed to hear that for her.

543
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 1: Jeez, you're welcome because it is hard. I mean we

544
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: were so hard. Like, no, you're not tasked to be

545
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 1: find actually perfect. You're tasked to do the best you

546
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: can with where you are, and sometimes the best you

547
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: can is literally nothing. There are times that I was like,

548
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 1: girl savings, I need to eat, Like what am I

549
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 1: going to eat? You know? Or like you've made financial

550
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 1: mistakes and you beat yourself up, and sometimes you're just like, well,

551
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 1: how long are we going to do this? How long?

552
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: I get it, I shouldn't have used my credit card

553
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 1: to buy all those clothes. Okay, we're here now, now

554
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: what so I just I'm literally sometimes I look in

555
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: the mirror and I'm just like Tiffany, I get it,

556
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 1: But how is this helpful? Like, you don't have to

557
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: beat yourself up. It's not helpful. It's not healthy, And

558
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: it's okay to take responsibility. This is something I think

559
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: it was Stephanie who said this, Either Stephanie or doctor Green,

560
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 1: who I'm working with now. I was sharing with her.

561
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 1: I was so proud of myself. I was like, yeah,

562
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: I'm really self aware because I know that I mess

563
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 1: up like this, and I mess up like that, and

564
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: I did this. She's like, hmmm, I don't know that

565
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 1: that's self awareness. It sounds like you're just critical of yourself.

566
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what, because I was so proud

567
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: that I easily point out every flaw of mine. And

568
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:09,439
Speaker 1: she's like, tiffany self aware is to see all sides

569
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: of yourself, that you're aware of yourself as a complete,

570
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 1: flawed but also fabulous human being. I don't hear any

571
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: of the fabulous. And I was like, yeah, so next week.

572
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: So I just think that that's important. That we are

573
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: really hard on ourselves, and I think especially women, and

574
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, just giving you a big old financial hug.

575
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: You don't have to be perfect. You just do the

576
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: best that you can with what you have, and then

577
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: when you have different than you do differently.

578
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 2: I love that absolutely, And just give yourself grace, pretend

579
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,239
Speaker 2: like you're talking to a friend. I think we all

580
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 2: could use. We all just need to give ourselves a break.

581
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 2: I think that's been the hardest part of this year,

582
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: is knowing when to just be like listen, done is

583
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 2: better than perfect. Another day is in the books and

584
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: you survived, and that's sometimes that's all you can, you know,

585
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 2: expect of yourself. So yes, never here to set on

586
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 2: realistic expectations. I don't want to do that for myself.

587
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to do it for y'all. I just

588
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 2: think that is a recipe for just discontent, you know,

589
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 2: and lack of joy, and it's no way to live.

590
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 2: And I think the older I get, the more I

591
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 2: realize that. All Right, Well, thank you for that message, Melanie.

592
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 2: That was really sweet.

593
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 1: Well we should do more of those. I like those.

594
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 2: We like when y'all say nice stuff. Feel free. You

595
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 2: don't have to just send us question, send us praise,

596
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 2: send us prayse there any anecdotes, Yeah, you can hit

597
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 2: us up, you know, Brand Ambition podcast on ig or

598
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 2: Brand Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com. That's Oh, this

599
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: is a good one tip because we were talking a

600
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: little bit earlier about the pressures you know, children have

601
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 2: with their parents, and this this reader or reader, this

602
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 2: listener has a question about her parents. All right, she says,

603
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 2: I'm thirty three and the eldest of three children. I'm

604
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 2: also the only child that isn't married or has kids.

605
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: Here's the issue I need advice on. My parents are

606
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 2: over fifty. My mom is the primary bread winner slash

607
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 2: bill pair and makes decent money in the healthcare field

608
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: working as an independent contractor. Neither of my parents, though,

609
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 2: currently has health insurance, life insurance, or has money set

610
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: aside for retirement. My mom does have about twenty K

611
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: and savings because she has to pay her business taxes.

612
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 2: How do I get them to start thinking about setting

613
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 2: money aside and what types of investment slash retirement accounts

614
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 2: should they be looking into. I feel like I'll be

615
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 2: the one responsible for their care when they're no longer

616
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 2: able to care for themselves, and think that if they

617
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 2: have even a small nest egg, it will help me

618
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 2: sleep better at night.

619
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: Thank you woof.

620
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 2: This is this one can mean deep, This one's real.

621
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 2: This is a I feel her, I feel the weight

622
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 2: of responsibility on her shoulders, and part of me just

623
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: wants to grab it off, be like it's not your job.

624
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 1: But I think, well, I can understand because it's hard,

625
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: because it's like, ah, oh, you gotta like because it's

626
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: like do I let my parents flounder?

627
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 2: And you know what I mean?

628
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: Like even Oh, it's not your job to take care

629
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 1: of them. I think you'd be hard for US press

630
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,479
Speaker 1: to find a kid that if their parents needed them

631
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: in desperate times, what do you do? So I'm reading

632
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: this book called one of my new favorite authors right now.

633
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: His name is Jonah Berger. I read his book called

634
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: The Catalysts. No, I read his book called Contagious you know,

635
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: how ideas Stick or something to that point. It was

636
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: really good, Like if you're into like business and marketing

637
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: and excellent read. Well I listened to it via audible,

638
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: but still whatever that's reading. So now I'm reading The Catalyst,

639
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: and the Catalyst is how to change anyone's mind. So

640
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: what's her name?

641
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 2: Anonymous?

642
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: Anonymous? You can call her Sarah, right, So Sarah. One

643
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: of the things that Jonah talks about is finding what

644
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 1: he calls the movable middle. So if you are the

645
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: extreme on one side of like a say like a

646
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, the tennis court or a football field,

647
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: and your parents are on the other side, So your

648
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: extreme is like have all the responsible financial things intact,

649
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 1: and they're over here, like, look, I'm just living day

650
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: to day because fifty is still young.

651
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 2: You know.

652
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 1: It's like well, people are usually able to shift like

653
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: either to the left or to the right of what

654
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: their middle is. But if you are super far off

655
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: in one direction or the other, it's really hard to

656
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: figure out what that middle is for them. So maybe

657
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: the middle is I got her to open up an

658
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: online only savings account.

659
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 2: Great.

660
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: So what happens with the movable middle is that if

661
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,959
Speaker 1: before she was saving nothing, but now she has an

662
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: online only savings account, you have moved the middle. Now

663
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 1: opening a savings account is not that far from opening

664
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: a CD. Now you've moved the middle a little closer

665
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: to you. Now opening a CD is not that far

666
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: from getting her to open up a retirement account. Do

667
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: you see? You can start to shift where the middle

668
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 1: is and get closer and closure to your side of

669
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: the field. So figuring out what's the movable middle? What

670
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,719
Speaker 1: I used to say with them, for like people who

671
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: would reach out to me about their significant other is

672
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: I would say, find the common denominator, find something that

673
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: they're that they're already in a gre like with Superman,

674
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: he was not a good saver, he wasn't an overspender,

675
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: but he was an overgiver. He gave away all his

676
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: money and the only thing that we could both agree

677
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: upon was Supergirl, his daughter my bonus baby is that

678
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: he always agreed we should put a set aside money

679
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 1: for her. So I started there. It was like a

680
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: year of like, yeah, I know you want to give

681
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: such and such a cousin all your money, but did

682
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: we put money in Supergirl's account? Oh no, I didn't. Okay,

683
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: you know I'm gonna do that instead, and I'd be like, whoof.

684
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 1: So from there that was a movable middle. So if

685
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: I can convince him to save for Supergirl, then I

686
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 1: can convince him the say for vacation, that I can

687
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 1: convince him the safe for a wedding, that I could

688
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: convince the safe for a house, and then you see

689
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: what I mean Now, like Superman and I are like

690
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: talking about investing and buying the next investment property. But

691
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: I had to slowly but surely find the movable middle.

692
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: And now he's living on budget list Island.

693
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: Doesn't even know how he came there. I know, and

694
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: at only there talking about his manipulation. But I love it,

695
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 2: but in a good way for their own benefit.

696
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: But I don't even feel bad about it. They need it,

697
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: so for your parents, I would just say, find find

698
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: common denominator, the movable middle, an inch toward that, don't

699
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: don't try to drag them all the way over to

700
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: your side.

701
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. The part that hit me deep is this feeling

702
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 2: of if they don't get it, then I'm the one

703
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 2: they're going to fall back on. And as the as

704
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 2: a young woman in a family, the eldest of three,

705
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 2: she says, with no children. I think society has shown

706
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 2: when you're the daughter in a family, even if you

707
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 2: have kids and a whole husband or a wife or whatever,

708
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 2: like a lot of the you know, responsibility of caring

709
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 2: for elderly parents does fall on the on the female

710
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 2: children's shoulders. So I think that that's a real risk

711
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: and a real fear, and I think that I understand

712
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 2: that stress. And also you're my exact same age. I

713
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 2: see this happening to my elder sister. She's married, but

714
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 2: she doesn't have children, and you know, she's she's the

715
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: one people don't mind bothering because like what she got

716
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 2: going on but is not fair, which is not fair.

717
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: And I will say, you know, to Tiffany's point too,

718
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: I have been I mean, I remember going back to

719
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 2: when I was a little girl. My mom smoked, like

720
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,240
Speaker 2: all all of the older people in my family smoked.

721
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 2: But I used to hide her cigarettes. I'd hide her

722
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 2: pack of misty menthol lights. I would take the whole

723
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 2: box and put at the top of the closet where

724
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 2: she couldn't find it. I tried to get to quit.

725
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 2: I would like post pictures of charred cancer written lungs

726
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 2: around the house when I did science projects. None of

727
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,919
Speaker 2: that extreme, like extreme work on my baby. My baby

728
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 2: shoulders did much. It was maybe too much in the

729
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 2: other direction. My mom had to just come to that,

730
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 2: you know, realization on her own. So I do feel

731
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: like you you can, you can state your case and

732
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 2: tell them how you feel. But coming on too strong

733
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,359
Speaker 2: is what I'm trying to get at. That's that's been

734
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 2: my downfall in the past. But to Tiffany's point, the

735
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 2: comment denominator thing, I think is going to be important,

736
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 2: and I think you need to make it about them

737
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: and not so much about you personally. I have kind

738
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 2: of played that, oh well, if you don't get this

739
00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: under you know, under control, then you're gonna have to

740
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 2: rely me. And that didn't go over so hot. They

741
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 2: got pretty defensive. The thing about parents when they're older,

742
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 2: is they get really defensive when like you try to

743
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 2: parent them, at least in my experience, So if you

744
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: come at them like I need to take care of

745
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 2: you because you can't take care of yourself, I've got

746
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,320
Speaker 2: a feeling you're going to get some pushback because you know,

747
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 2: to their credit, they're they're surviving. Maybe they don't have

748
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 2: everything you want them to have, but they're taking care

749
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 2: of themselves. They have you know, stable income and setting

750
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 2: aside money for taxes and all that. So maybe you know,

751
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 2: make start talking to them more about maybe their their future,

752
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: you know, where they see themselves as retiring. But I

753
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 2: don't know if you agree what really for whatever, what

754
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 2: really scares me about her question is the fact that

755
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 2: they don't have health insurance and they're in their fifties

756
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 2: Like that to me is quite terrifying. And I get

757
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: it because look, she her her mother's an independent contractor

758
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 2: and they probably you know, they earn a decent income,

759
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: and those health care plans on the marketplace are very expensive.

760
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 2: So if you don't get insurance, they can be very

761
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: so if you don't qualify for subsidies, right, and I know,

762
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 2: I do know people who are you know, small business

763
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 2: owners or entrepreneurs, and they just forego the insurance, they

764
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: take the tax hit or is there tax penalty? I

765
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 2: forget did the Republicans get rid of that? Actually no,

766
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 2: I think that was one of the cornerstones of the

767
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 2: Obamacare Act that actually Republicans took away with that tax hit.

768
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 2: But anyway, regardless, it's it's expensive to get healthcare, but

769
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:29,760
Speaker 2: that is probably the biggest risk to their financial future.

770
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 2: And I would just say I didn't read this part

771
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 2: of her question, but she mentions that she's helped them,

772
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 2: like by becoming that's just my dog freaking out. She's

773
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 2: helped them by becoming a co signer on their mortgage.

774
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 2: I would just be super careful to not like, because

775
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 2: you know, worse comes to worse if they get a

776
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 2: bunch of medical debt and debt collectors. Calm. You don't

777
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 2: want to put your own financial security at risk. So

778
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: make sure that whatever you know, you need to put

779
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: your life jacket on first, or what is it, put

780
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 2: your life your oxygen oxygen.

781
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: Mask, yes, for your life decket oxygenation.

782
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 2: Mask covers and take and make sure that you're not

783
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 2: setting yourself up to get dragged down, you know, with them.

784
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 2: But yeah, that that lack of health care is maybe

785
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 2: where I would start, because that, to me is the

786
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 2: biggest risk as they get as they get older. It's

787
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: it can be truly. I mean, one hospital visit can

788
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 2: set you back tens of thousands of dollars, you know,

789
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 2: for something innocuous, and that that's as you get older.

790
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: There's just so much risk there.

791
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I would say this too, is that one

792
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 1: of the things that like, you know, I got from

793
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: the book The catalyst, is that when you are trying

794
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 1: to push someone in a direction, there in the act

795
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: natural reaction is to push back. You know that a

796
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: true catalyst creates an environment where the person changes of

797
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: their own free will. So asking yourself, like, how can

798
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 1: I create an environment where I'm not like you need

799
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 1: a pulling you along? You need to do this, You

800
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: need to do that instead of creating environment where it's like,

801
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, mom, you know I just signed up.

802
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: I just use them the health Care your website or

803
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: policy Genius, which is like a website that many and

804
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 1: I have both used. I think you used it for

805
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: your dad, right, Mandy, And I used it for myself.

806
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: Before I got married.

807
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 2: Oh, Policy Genius actually used them, I used I did

808
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 2: use them to shop for my life insurance policy. Ended

809
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 2: up using Quote Wizard. But they're basically an insurance marketplace.

810
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: You can look up all kinds of types of insurance

811
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 2: through them, health, life, frontal, pet, everything.

812
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: And so maybe you just maybe one of the things

813
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 1: is like the hurdle, like that's what's keeping folks back

814
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: because it's sometimes it's hard to like, ugh, I don't

815
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 1: want to do a thing because all the work that

816
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: I see it's involved. So if you become a catalyst

817
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: by making the environment super easy by saying, Okay, how

818
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: can I remove some of the hurdles that she might

819
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: have in mind for getting health insurance by doing most

820
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: of the preliminary work ahead of time, because you're right,

821
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 1: it is kind of scary, and you know, unfortunately sometimes

822
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: you know, we have to take care of our parents

823
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: the way they took care of us. So good luck

824
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:56,919
Speaker 1: to you, and you know, if you want, like I said,

825
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: Catalysts by Jonah Berger was so good. I mean halfway

826
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: through it. But it's really teaching me how to not

827
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: be so pushy and instead create an environment where you know,

828
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: people get to make decisions for themselves, and hopefully they

829
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: turned my way.

830
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: No, I'm listening to you talk about it. I know

831
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 2: it's like a business book, but I'm thinking of all

832
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 2: the ways I use that those those tactics. Talking to

833
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 2: family who voted for Trump last election, including my own

834
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 2: mother who she did not vote for him this time around.

835
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: She voted for Biden. Not only that, but homegirl had

836
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 2: a Biden Harris sign in her front front yard, got

837
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 2: Michelle Obama's book, and put a Black Lives Matter sign

838
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 2: in her front yard and for her area in Saint Louis.

839
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 2: That was that was a big deal. So and the way,

840
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: you know, I had to and I thought back in

841
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 2: that little girl with the with the cancer lung pictures

842
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 2: and all like like, maybe we should try things a

843
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 2: little bit differently this time, Mandy, and not like, you know,

844
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 2: go so hard. But it was a four year obviously,

845
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 2: and it was having really slow, safe conversations around around

846
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 2: politics and her beliefs and race and my feelings and

847
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 2: stuff and on. I had to really tamp down my emotions.

848
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 2: My little brother and I both and my sister too,

849
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 2: you know, put our emotions aside, be open to hearing

850
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 2: her say some you know, things that we did not

851
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 2: agree with, and slowly but surely chip chip chip away,

852
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 2: and so yeah, that's that's interesting. And I I think

853
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 2: with and I think, you know, you're at an age

854
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: two anonymous Sarah, where you're old enough to know, okay,

855
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 2: I can't just like come in, you know, completely and

856
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 2: just tell them what to do. It's got to be

857
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 2: an open conversation setting, you know, creating a safe space,

858
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 2: no judgment, and try to slowly but surely even just

859
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: bringing up topics like insurance, like and understanding, you know,

860
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 2: just kind of interviewing them and maybe see what hang

861
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: ups they have or maybe why they aren't doing something.

862
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 2: Sometimes just asking a simple question, you realize there's a

863
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: barrier that they could easily fix. They just like, they

864
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 2: just need to tell you what the barrier is. I

865
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 2: remember I was talking to my aunt recently and she

866
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,800
Speaker 2: was like, she kept complaining about her cell phone reception

867
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 2: and how her you know, she had no she couldn't

868
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 2: never talk to people because it was so bad. She

869
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: was trying to attend church on zoom and it would

870
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 2: never her her cell phone was so bad. And I

871
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 2: was like, do you have Internet? And she said no,

872
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,879
Speaker 2: it's too expensive, YadA YadA, And I was like, look,

873
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 2: you're on public assistance. I'm going to look up a

874
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: program and see if there's something in Georgia that can

875
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 2: offer you affordable Wi Fi. And within a couple of

876
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 2: weeks she had ten dollars a month.

877
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: Wi Fi, you know.

878
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 2: And it was all just from a sense of oh,

879
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 2: this is the way it is. And I think, you know,

880
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 2: just opening up that conversation with someone in your family

881
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 2: to see maybe why it is that they're not doing

882
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 2: something and listening and listening and then gently trying to

883
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 2: help them find their way toward a solution can be

884
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 2: the way. But I totally identify with this question, and

885
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 2: I empathize with anyone out there looking at their parents

886
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: and being like, oof, that's a problem.

887
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yep. That was a good question. No, that

888
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:02,959
Speaker 1: was a good question.

889
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you Sarah so much. All Right, y'all, that

890
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 2: wraps it up for Q and as it's.

891
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: Time for boost or break up? Boost up? Break up?

892
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: Boost UPO are you gonna boost? Are you going to break?

893
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: Well, Tiffany knows. I'm thinking on the fly here, I

894
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 2: have a and it's gonna have multi multi mini boosts.

895
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna boost supporting a local bookstore. I recently you

896
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 2: can order books online from your local bookstores, y'all, and

897
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 2: and they're so nice about the books that you order.

898
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 2: I just ordered a few books from my local bookstore.

899
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to think, how can I support small businesses?

900
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 2: To be honest, I feel a little guilty because I

901
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 2: did a lot of shopping on Cyber Monday or Black Friday,

902
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,800
Speaker 2: whatever it was, because big, big retailers are having some

903
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: pretty big sales. But anyway, so shop small if you

904
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 2: can this holiday season and support local businesses. That's my

905
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 2: first boost. And then I finally sat down and watched

906
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 2: Jangle Jangle on Netflix last weekend.

907
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:05,839
Speaker 1: So good.

908
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 2: When I say good, Tiffany, you got away. And I

909
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 2: know you're not into TV and all kind of stuff,

910
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 2: you got to watch this movie with Supergirl. You have to.

911
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 2: It's so good. It's like it's it's like the it's

912
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 2: like the fantasy.

913
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: A Disney movie.

914
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 2: It's not Disney, though, but it's like the fantasy film

915
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 2: for children that we deserved as little black children in

916
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 2: this country. There is oh like the plot, the quality,

917
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 2: oh my god, everything from the hair just go for

918
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 2: the hair, the makeup, and the music, but stay for

919
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 2: the quality of the story because it is also good.

920
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 2: The music was produced by John Legend. I don't know

921
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 2: who did hair and makeup, but you'll never like these

922
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 2: natural hairstyles that they created, these looks that they create

923
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 2: on these beautiful black performers. The cast is mostly black

924
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 2: and people of color. They're singing and dancing. And the

925
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,240
Speaker 2: storyline is so good. It's it's basically about an inventor,

926
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 2: a famous inventor whose apprentice steals his steals his inventions,

927
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 2: his his master playlist for inventions, and it kind of

928
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 2: takes place like I don't know, like eighteen hundred z

929
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:08,800
Speaker 2: times and it kind of and it features the power

930
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 2: of his daughter and her daughter, his granddaughter and helping

931
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 2: him get back to finding his own magic as an inventor.

932
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: And there is a little girl who plays the heroine

933
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 2: of this movie. And she is like a mathematical genius

934
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 2: and she is beautiful and she sings, and she is adorable,

935
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 2: and there's like a little and her and her and

936
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 2: her her sidekick. His name is Edison. It's like really

937
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 2: adorable British black boy, like you don't see Carol, like,

938
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 2: this is them. It was so good. I'm gonna shut

939
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 2: up down, but it was amazing. And I hope there's

940
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 2: sequels and three quools and all that because it was

941
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 2: that that good. They really did that movie Justice.

942
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 1: Ooh sounds like as a family. Yes, well, I'll do

943
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: like a little bit of a oh. I guess this

944
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: is kind of boost like and like another kind of

945
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 1: like break, so boosting for I don't know, dude, did

946
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: you watch an Unforgiven Dave Chappelle? Did we talk about it? No,

947
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: we didn't. Did you see it on his ig page?

948
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 2: Did I watch?

949
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,800
Speaker 1: Is it like one of his specials? So no, Unforgiven

950
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,839
Speaker 1: is like this twenty eighteen to twenty minute. I don't

951
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,280
Speaker 1: even call it special, just kind of like his audience

952
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: chat that he posted. He's a master storyteller. But the

953
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 1: purpose of the chat was to ask people, I don't

954
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: know if you've seen the signs where people are like

955
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: where he says, like, don't watch Chappelle show. I don't

956
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 1: know if you've heard people talking about it. Okay, so

957
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: so many people know that, you know. Years ago he

958
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: signed a contract with Comedy Central and it was like

959
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: a fifty million dollar contract. It was a banner contract.

960
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: Chappelle Show was one of the most popular sketch shows

961
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 1: in history ever made, but he walked away because he

962
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: it wasn't in alignment with how he wanted to show up.

963
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm not certain of the of the specifics of why

964
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: he walked away, but as a results of walking away,

965
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 1: they kept, you know, they kept his creative property. And

966
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, I signed a contract, but it was

967
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: a crappy contract. And so you know, we all know

968
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 1: he's made a huge comeback. He has Netflix, He has

969
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 1: a deal with Netflix. I think it's like sixty million dollars.

970
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: And but now Comedy Central, which I think is owned

971
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 1: by Viacom, has been like now that he's like out

972
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: here shining again, they put took they leased or licensed

973
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 1: Chappelle Show to Netflix and HBO to play. And he

974
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,959
Speaker 1: was pissed about it because he doesn't get any money,

975
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,439
Speaker 1: you know, like his blood, sweat and tears. You guys

976
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 1: said that he was a loser, but not so much

977
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 1: now that you want to use his you know, his

978
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: intellectual property. And it was just a testament to why

979
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: ownership is so important. Why you know, I don't know

980
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 1: if you guys saw say the Last Dance where Scottie Pippen.

981
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 1: He when he first signed his contract when he was

982
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 1: a young basketball player. You know, he had many brothers

983
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 1: and sisters and I think his father was sick, so

984
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: he didn't sign the best deal. So even though he

985
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 1: was six time winner, number two basketball player in the league,

986
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 1: he was paid one hundred and twenty fifth or something

987
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: crazy like that. So it's just things like that. That's

988
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 1: just like it's it's a it's a boost in net

989
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 1: to watch it, but it's a break to be because

990
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: it's kind of sad how people and the industries take

991
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: advantage of people use up all of their talent and

992
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 1: their gifts and then not wanting to you know, not

993
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 1: wanting to equitably pay folks even if you sign a contract.

994
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: One thing that Dave said, He's like, I signed a contract,

995
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,320
Speaker 1: but does that make it right? Yeah, Like you know,

996
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 1: like I remember I shared the story with you that

997
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 1: there was a company where they I did something for

998
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 1: them just for freaks. I thought it was a good thing.

999
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 1: It was a it's a conference to help black women,

1000
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: and that's how they pulled me in. And I was like,

1001
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: you know what this sounds great. Not too many black

1002
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,359
Speaker 1: women are doing, you know, are making courses. So they

1003
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: were like, oh, we'd love for you to to, you know,

1004
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: do this conference with us. And I said, sure, did

1005
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 1: the and I probably I did sign whatever, but I'm

1006
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 1: thinking like, yeah, to sign to say you can use

1007
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: my image for the conference. Like maybe a year later,

1008
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: I saw my image in an AD and I was like, hey,

1009
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: what's this. I didn't agree to be in an ad

1010
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 1: And I remember it was in the CEO of CMO

1011
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 1: and he said, yes, you did. Did you get the contract?

1012
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 1: I was like wow. But the only thing that saved

1013
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: it was they want me to do other work with them.

1014
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: And I guess he thought about it because I was

1015
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 1: about to come back and be like, yo, it's a

1016
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 1: wrap for you because I'm one of well, I'll keep

1017
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: a like cause I don't want to see the company.

1018
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: But they came back. I was like, oh, but if

1019
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: you want us to take it down, I said, take

1020
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 1: it down, take it down, and then I proceeded when

1021
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: I got on the phone to be like honestly, the

1022
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 1: audacity and the gall like, don't do that. I did

1023
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: that conference in service to black women. You tricky shysting

1024
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 1: sheasters right, I couldn't believe it, right, But that's not

1025
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: the first time. There is this one company that reaches

1026
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 1: out every single year to all the financial folks so

1027
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 1: they can make their fake top ten lists, top ten

1028
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: financial advisors to follow. But then you read the contract, Mandy,

1029
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: and it says we can use your image any way,

1030
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 1: anyhow any It literally says anywhere in the universe, in

1031
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: perpetuity the universe. Let's Pluto, and I remember what, so

1032
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 1: I can be included in your list.

1033
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: No.

1034
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 1: That is their way of being able to take your

1035
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 1: image and use it however they want. And I remember, like,

1036
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: cause the first year I was so geek to do it.

1037
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 1: You know, of course I signed. I didn't even look

1038
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 1: at the contract. Really, I signed. And the second year

1039
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: they reached out, I read it and I was like, well,

1040
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 1: this seems a little overreaching. Why doesn't it just say, hey,

1041
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 1: you gave us the right to use your picture to

1042
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: be one of the top ten people for this particular article.

1043
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: Why does it have to say all this? And they

1044
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: were like, oh, I said, well, I'm not signing. They're like, well,

1045
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 1: you signed the last year. I said, well, I'm not signing.

1046
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: This is crazy and then I looked, and so many

1047
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 1: of our friends were on the list. I'm sure or

1048
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,439
Speaker 1: they didn't look because you know you don't you would

1049
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 1: never think. But now I am so careful, Like there

1050
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 1: are a bunch of projects that I've done that I've

1051
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: gone in and edited it myself and said, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,

1052
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: you cannot use my image anywhere in the universe in perpetuity.

1053
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 1: You can have me selling Colt forty five and ten

1054
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: years on your platform. So just being mindful of like

1055
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:25,320
Speaker 1: ownership of your image and even as your whatever empire

1056
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 1: that you're building for yourself, being mindful of the decisions

1057
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: that you make now it would you be okay with

1058
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 1: with the terms five, ten, fifteen, twenty years from now.

1059
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 1: I have said no to so many air quote opportunities

1060
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 1: that seem huge in the moment, but in the long

1061
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: term I know that I would regret them. So just

1062
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 1: being mindful of that. So it's like a kind of

1063
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 1: like a boosty boosty I don't know if it's a break,

1064
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: but definitely like a boosty cautionary tale TAILI So that's it,

1065
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 1: And you haven't watched Unforgivable on Dave Chappelle's IG.

1066
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,919
Speaker 2: You totally should I did not know he was doing

1067
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 2: like an IG series. That's dope. I love it. I

1068
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 2: did watch his interview with Dave Letterman just real quick

1069
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 2: on Netflix. He does reveal, I think, for the first time,

1070
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 2: why he walked away, like the incident that happened. Dave

1071
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 2: Letterman's a pretty good interview. I know he's problematic, but

1072
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 2: whatever Dave Chappelle. He it was something about there was

1073
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 2: a joke, there was a skit that he was doing,

1074
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 2: and it was at the expense of black people with

1075
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 2: a punchline and he said he someone in in the crew,

1076
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 2: like a white guy. The way that he laughed set

1077
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 2: Dave Chappelle off, and it was something like that. I

1078
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 2: really encourage all to check out his interview with Dave

1079
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 2: Letterman because it was really good and he really hadn't

1080
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 2: spoken about why he walked away from fifty million dollars

1081
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 2: and it was interesting to hear his perspective and I

1082
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 2: could watch him talk all day, so I will be

1083
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 2: checking out. Was it called unforgiven unforgivable?

1084
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, unforgiven. I think it's unforgiven. It's it's just I

1085
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: don't even know that he's doing a series he just

1086
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 1: posted on his IG and it's just so masterfully told.

1087
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 2: It's just yeah awesome, alrighty, all right, Well that was

1088
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 2: a great boosty breaky. I love a good boosty breaky.

1089
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, me too.

1090
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 2: Alright, it's December, what the heck? Alright, you guys, I

1091
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 2: know we will see y'all next week. Let's finish out

1092
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 2: this year, right, just we're almost there, right there to

1093
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one. I don't know what's on the other

1094
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 2: side of this particular rainbow of dumpster fires, but I

1095
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 2: hope it's something nice. I bet you it is. Stay positive,