Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to Weird House Cinema. Rewind, this is Rob Lamb.
Speaker 1: We're off this week for the holiday, so we have
Speaker 1: a holiday Weird House Cinema episode for you. This one
Speaker 1: originally published twelve fifteen, twenty twenty three. It is the
Speaker 1: nineteen fifty nine Mexican Christmas movie Santa Claus, also known
Speaker 1: as Santa Claus Versus the Devil. It is a load
Speaker 1: of fun mystery science theater. Three thousand fans know and
Speaker 1: love this film, and if you are not familiar with it,
Speaker 1: we'll dive into this episode. Joe and I talk about
Speaker 1: it quite a bit.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind, a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: Hey you welcome to Weird House Cinema. This is Rob Lamb.
Speaker 3: And this is Joe McCormick. Again. On today's episode of
Speaker 3: Weird House Cinema, we're going to be talking about the
Speaker 3: nineteen fifty nine in film Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: That's right. We've brought this one up a number of
Speaker 1: times before, not only on Weird House Cinema, but I
Speaker 1: think it leaks into the core episodes as well. It's
Speaker 1: just that weird of a film. It is a nineteen
Speaker 1: fifty nine Mexican family fantasy film in which a kind
Speaker 1: of Doctor Doom Santa in the same way that Marvels.
Speaker 1: Doctor Doom is a master of both magic and high technology.
Speaker 1: Well so is Santa, or at least the outsources to
Speaker 1: people who know what they're doing.
Speaker 3: That's right. I mean, the Santa in this movie relies
Speaker 3: a lot on his sort of cube branch, which is Merlin. Merlin,
Speaker 3: who in this movie is like a cross between Albert
Speaker 3: Hoffman and John Dee. He is a sorcerer who wears
Speaker 3: a pointy hat that's got like moons and stars on it,
Speaker 3: and he's clearly doing magic, but he's also doing a
Speaker 3: lot of chemistry and coming up with psychoactive substances to
Speaker 3: affect the minds of Earth's children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely dabbling in at least some alchemy, if not
Speaker 1: some outright devil worship based on some of the decorations
Speaker 1: in the house. But he also seemingly has the aid
Speaker 1: of a Greek god. And if you haven't seen the
Speaker 1: full cut of this film before, you might be surprised
Speaker 1: to find a figure who seems to be Hephaestus aiding
Speaker 1: Santa Claus in his efforts to bring Christmas to the
Speaker 1: good children of the world, regardless of socioeconomic situations.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was one of the big surprises on this viewing.
Speaker 3: So I had previously only seen this movie in the
Speaker 3: Mystery Science Theater three thousand cut, which excises some of
Speaker 3: the weirdest stuff in the film. It excises some merlin
Speaker 3: stuff and excises the scene where Santa goes to meet
Speaker 3: with the figure you're talking about, who's clearly he faced
Speaker 3: us or Vulcan called the Master Blacksmith or the key
Speaker 3: Master or key Maker or later in the film, key Man.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you caught that part where Santa
Speaker 3: is just screaming into the air for help and he
Speaker 3: calls out key Man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because he is the one who makes Santa
Speaker 1: his magical key that like fries open any lock, allows
Speaker 1: instant access to the interior of your home.
Speaker 3: And when Santa's first testing this key out, he laughs
Speaker 3: in an almost unsettling way as he's like realizing the
Speaker 3: power to unlock any portal.
Speaker 1: Now, this movie is sometimes referred to as Santa Claus
Speaker 1: versus the Devil in order to set it apart from
Speaker 1: the various other Santa movies, because again the title is
Speaker 1: just Santa Claus came out in fifty nine, initially released
Speaker 1: to Mexican audiences in fifty nine, and it's credited with
Speaker 1: popularizing secular Santa Claus traditions in Mexico at a time
Speaker 1: when most of the emphasis was on the religious aspects
Speaker 1: of the holiday, you know, carrying over from Spanish Catholic traditions.
Speaker 1: This is still a big part of Mexican holiday traditions,
Speaker 1: of course, but this movie really helped to throw Santa
Speaker 1: Claus into the mix.
Speaker 3: So Rob, I don't know if you watched the same
Speaker 3: version I did, but there is the original Spanish language version,
Speaker 3: and then there is an English dub, and the version
Speaker 3: that I've seen in all cases, the both the one
Speaker 3: featured on MST and the full cut that I watched
Speaker 3: today is the English dub, which adds a layer of
Speaker 3: comedy to the film that I think is probably not
Speaker 3: quite there in the in the original language edit because
Speaker 3: of the vocal performance of the guy who does who
Speaker 3: plays the role of Santa Claus, who has essentially one
Speaker 3: vocal gear, and that gear is bellowing.
Speaker 1: But it's perfect because the actor playing Santa Claus, who
Speaker 1: will get into in a bit, has that same level
Speaker 1: of energy with his physical performance, so it's it's weird
Speaker 1: like the My primary experience, too, is with the English dub,
Speaker 1: and I primarily watched the English dub for this episode,
Speaker 1: but I did check in on the original Spanish language
Speaker 1: version a little bit just to get a feel for
Speaker 1: the performances. And you know, it's still over the top.
Speaker 1: It's still campy intentionally, so it's still comedic, but there's
Speaker 1: something about these uncredited English language dubs that just really
Speaker 1: help to just strengthen everything and make everything it's already
Speaker 1: over the top, feel just a little bit more over
Speaker 1: the top.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. So in the original, I'm sure it
Speaker 3: was a very enthusiastic performance from the actor who plays
Speaker 3: Santa Claus, and you can see it there in his
Speaker 3: physical performance on the screen. But with this English vocal performance,
Speaker 3: it adds in inflections like oh the devil.
Speaker 1: Yeah. At times the dubbing is really borderline riffing, Like
Speaker 1: I didn't get a chance to find out if Merlin
Speaker 1: makes like little tut tut noises as he moves around
Speaker 1: in the Spanish original like that felty, we're almost going
Speaker 1: too far there again, unless it's present in the Spanish
Speaker 1: original I didn't have a chance to share, but anyway,
Speaker 1: the English language dub that this comes to us thanks
Speaker 1: to the work of distributor Kay Gordon Murray, who lived
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty two through nineteen seventy nine, also the English
Speaker 1: language narrator, and I think he does one or two
Speaker 1: other voices in there. There are times where a voice
Speaker 1: is just way too close to the narration.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there are several roles in the film that sound
Speaker 3: like they're being performed by the same actor.
Speaker 1: So this film did receive a limited US theatrical release
Speaker 1: thanks to Kay Gordon Murray, and apparently it has. It
Speaker 1: continued to play over the years after that, like it
Speaker 1: was always a success. It was the kind of thing
Speaker 1: that theaters would would maybe put on as part of
Speaker 1: a holiday matinee, much like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
Speaker 1: I was looking this film up in Michael Weldon's The
Speaker 1: Psychotronic Encyclopedia film from eighty three, and he closes it
Speaker 1: out by saying, Hey, if your local theater is playing
Speaker 1: this for their holiday matinee, go see it. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. So it's interesting to think about the
Speaker 1: you know, the continued life of this film as something
Speaker 1: that at least children would go and see and also
Speaker 1: maybe a few you know, psychotronically aligned adults.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, speaking to the psychotronic appear. One thing that's
Speaker 3: kind of surprising about this is I think you could
Speaker 3: make an argument that Santa Claus nineteen fifty nine is
Speaker 3: actually a more science fiction oriented film than Santa Claus
Speaker 3: Conquers the Martians, because it has more like sci fi
Speaker 3: gadgets and technology in it. In fact, Santa Claus in
Speaker 3: this movie operates a really powerful surveillance communications infrastructure that
Speaker 3: uses these strange sort of biomechanical or cybernetic machines to
Speaker 3: spy on and locate children and people all around the globe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand Christopher Nollen was directly inspired by this
Speaker 1: movie when creating The Dark Knight Returns. Is that the
Speaker 1: second one, The Dark Knight Returns, And that's just the
Speaker 1: Dark Knight, It's the Dark Knight. Okay, Yeah, but he
Speaker 1: does return in that film.
Speaker 3: Yes he does. But so the Santa in this movie
Speaker 3: raises questions about technological ethics and surveillance surveillance culture.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think a lot of it. I think
Speaker 1: we can actually understand this a little better now that
Speaker 1: we've talked about other films by the same director from
Speaker 1: the same more or less time period, you know, give
Speaker 1: or take a decade, where we see some of like,
Speaker 1: you know, the various elements that you see in the
Speaker 1: Santo films, where there is super science, there is the supernatural,
Speaker 1: and of course there are also these other like kind
Speaker 1: of holy and religious elements in there as well, all
Speaker 1: kind of mixed together in this kind of you know,
Speaker 1: comic book world that seemed to be like a common
Speaker 1: touchdone for these genre pictures.
Speaker 3: It's an intoxicating blend. I enjoy it now.
Speaker 1: This film also appears in various forms, not only theatrically presumably,
Speaker 1: but also on home video releases. Many of these were
Speaker 1: edited in Some highly edited parts of the opening Small
Speaker 1: World esque sequence that actually pre dates Disney Small World,
Speaker 1: I believe, are often edited out for cultural sensitivity reasons,
Speaker 1: and there's apparently one cut of the film that takes
Speaker 1: the pitch out completely. I don't know how that would work.
Speaker 1: I guess it would be considerably shorter, and the MST
Speaker 1: three K version, of course, is edited and leaves a
Speaker 1: great deal of weirdness on the cutting room floor. As
Speaker 1: we already mentioned.
Speaker 3: I'm still scratching my head over how you could edit
Speaker 3: out pitch the name of the demon who is the
Speaker 3: antagonist of this film. You would be left with, I
Speaker 3: don't know. It seems like at least a third of
Speaker 3: the movie would be gone, and some situations would be
Speaker 3: inexplicable without him present to cause them.
Speaker 1: It would seem like the sort of thing you would
Speaker 1: do if your attitude was, Look, it's just going to
Speaker 1: be a room full of kids. They're going to be
Speaker 1: raising a ruckus. They just want to see Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: They don't know how plot works. Let's just show him
Speaker 1: everything but the devil, because we don't want to upset them. Okay,
Speaker 1: So anyway, as we'll discuss, it is a delightfully fun
Speaker 1: and weird movie. Do not pay any attention to the
Speaker 1: various star reviews you see on like IMDb and so forth.
Speaker 1: This movie and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians are quintessential
Speaker 1: psychotronic Christmas movies, and they both set a high bar
Speaker 1: for all holiday weirdness that was to come. Do you
Speaker 1: have an elevator pitch for this one?
Speaker 3: Joe, Oh?
Speaker 4: Do?
Speaker 3: I let's see Santa Claus wants to bring the good
Speaker 3: spirit of holiday cheer to well behaved children all around
Speaker 3: the world. But standing a thwart to this ambition is
Speaker 3: the Demon Pitch, a malevolent being straight from Hell whose
Speaker 3: goal is to thwart Santa Claus and make the children
Speaker 3: of Earth behave wickedly. Will the Demon Pitch be able
Speaker 3: to stop Santa Claus and in fact kill Santa Claus
Speaker 3: by confining him to Earth where he cannot survive until
Speaker 3: the next Christmas, Or will Santa prevail with the help
Speaker 3: of a sort of bat belt of gadgets from Merlin
Speaker 3: and assorted other Q branch types.
Speaker 1: Sounds good to me. Let's listen to the classic English
Speaker 1: language trailer for this.
Speaker 4: It's like living a story adventure beyond your wildest imagination.
Speaker 4: From the north pole of fantasy Land comes a feature
Speaker 4: length table with the most enchanting characters in the whole
Speaker 4: wide world, headed by the white whisked Fellow, who's the
Speaker 4: granddaddy of them all. Now, a magic motion picture transports
Speaker 4: you to an over the rainbow land, past the doors
Speaker 4: of Satu's towering castle and the strange, mysterious all seeing Eye,
Speaker 4: into a fantastic crystal laboratory filled with weird and wonderful
Speaker 4: secrets no one has ever seen before. You'll see them all,
Speaker 4: and you'll discover how satur can watch every child on
Speaker 4: earth and every good or bad thing they do. Now
Speaker 4: meet Merlin, the Wizard of Wizards, the miracle Man of
Speaker 4: the ages. Till within the show. Huray we go, hurry,
Speaker 4: mister Merlin. This is no time the horses come face
Speaker 4: to face with the Devil himself, a mischievous demon determined
Speaker 4: to mess things up as much as he can. It's yours,
Speaker 4: nobody show you take it to Peter. They have born.
Speaker 4: They won't miss it. What does one little doll maner?
Speaker 3: Don't you see?
Speaker 4: Leave it to that devil? He strikes to the sidetrack,
Speaker 4: satah up a tree. What's the jolly hijinks of Santa
Speaker 4: Claus as he decides to fight fire with fire? Oh?
Speaker 3: Ho a canon.
Speaker 2: God?
Speaker 4: Oh, you will want to miss the entertainment, wonder of
Speaker 4: the agents, the treat of a lifetime, or anyone who
Speaker 4: has ever believed there really is a Santa Claus Candy
Speaker 4: and then that track hasn't come.
Speaker 1: Sleep now, darling, sleep now, and you will see Pete.
Speaker 1: When you will do't you find about it?
Speaker 4: You'll see more wonders than you can wave a wanda
Speaker 4: as a dazzling panorama unfolds before your startled eyes.
Speaker 1: All right now, if you want to watch this film,
Speaker 1: if you haven't seen Santa Claus from nineteen fifty nine,
Speaker 1: Santa Clauss is the Devil if you will, well like
Speaker 1: to say, there are a lot of different versions that
Speaker 1: have come out over the years, various formats. You can
Speaker 1: catch this on the big screen every now and then.
Speaker 1: I think I think it aired on the big screen
Speaker 1: locally in the last year or two here in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: But I watched the excellent VCI Entertainment special edition. Blu
Speaker 1: Ray rented this from Video Drum, great picture quality, and
Speaker 1: it also has really insightful commentary by film historian Daniel Griffith.
Speaker 1: So some of the information I'll share with you about
Speaker 1: the film is from that commentary by Daniel Griffith. But
Speaker 1: if I get something wrong, it's not Daniel Griffith's fault.
Speaker 1: It's my fault for not listening to him enough. I
Speaker 1: just want to put that out there. I don't want
Speaker 1: people to be like, how could he not know this?
Speaker 1: Did he not hear Daniel Griffith explain it, well, it's
Speaker 1: because I miss something, all right. Let's get into the
Speaker 1: people involved in the production of this film, starting at
Speaker 1: the top. The director and one of the writers is
Speaker 1: Renee Cardona, who we've talked about on the show before.
Speaker 1: Lived nineteen oh five through nineteen eighty eight, director, actor, producer, writer,
Speaker 1: and editor, best remembered as a director in the golden
Speaker 1: age of Mexican cinema. We've talked about him before because
Speaker 1: we've covered two other films that he directed. Nineteen sixty
Speaker 1: three's Doctor of Doom, that's a luchador film with a
Speaker 1: very fun mad scientist, and then nineteen sixty nine Santo
Speaker 1: in the Treasure of Dracula, a time traveling luchador Dracula
Speaker 1: movie that is also tremendous fun.
Speaker 3: I feel like those are two of my favorites that
Speaker 3: we've covered on Weird House. I love these wrestling movies
Speaker 3: in the way the freedom with which they incorporate seemingly
Speaker 3: unlikely other genres such as horror and fantasy and science
Speaker 3: fiction into the wrestling plot format.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and again, you can't see a similar energy in
Speaker 1: this picture, even though there are no luchadors that I
Speaker 1: know I've involved in it, and there' certainly no lucha characters,
Speaker 1: but if there were one, they would not be out
Speaker 1: of place. So anyway, we'll likely cover more Cardona films
Speaker 1: in the future, so I'm gonna cover less about him
Speaker 1: now for this episode, other than to stress that, yeah,
Speaker 1: he was highly prolific work with a number of the
Speaker 1: biggest stars in Mexican cinema of the time period, and
Speaker 1: his output ranges from serious dramas and a couple of
Speaker 1: kids movies to Santo Pictures and the Grimy Night of
Speaker 1: the blo Eights from nineteen sixty nine.
Speaker 3: I've never seen that one, but the tasteful title has
Speaker 3: always appealed to me.
Speaker 1: It's apparently not a tasteful film. As we mentioned in
Speaker 1: our episode on Doctor of Doom. It is essentially a
Speaker 1: remake of some of the elements of Doctor of Doom,
Speaker 1: but it takes it in a much grimier direction. So
Speaker 1: I doubt we'll cover that film on Weird House Cinema,
Speaker 1: but it's out there and it's well known in horror circles,
Speaker 1: all right. The other writer on this is Adolfo Torres Portillo,
Speaker 1: who lived nineteen twenty through nineteen ninety six. His other
Speaker 1: credits include nineteen sixties The Crying Woman, nineteen sixty three's
Speaker 1: Little Red Riding Hood, and Tom Thumb versus the Monsters
Speaker 1: from sixty two. I'm very interested in that Los Vampire's
Speaker 1: from nineteen sixty nine, nineteen eighty three's Mexico two thousand
Speaker 1: that we've mentioned on the show before, as well as
Speaker 1: various other fantasies, Luca and comedies. All right, now, getting
Speaker 1: into the cast, I'm not going to talk about everybody cast,
Speaker 1: but of course we got to talk about Santa Santa
Speaker 1: Claus is played by Jose Elias Moreno, who lived nineteen
Speaker 1: ten through nineteen sixty nine, terrific Mexican character actor who
Speaker 1: was largely known, apparently for playing heavies and villains rather
Speaker 1: than anything like Santa Claus. So Griffith, in his commentary
Speaker 1: says that he he was sort of going against type here.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like if you'd cast late nineties, early
Speaker 1: two thousands Brian Cox as Santa Claus very much a
Speaker 1: similar energy, and I can imagine Brian Cox at nailing
Speaker 1: it in a similar fashion.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, I can see that comparison, but I'm gonna say,
Speaker 3: Moreno just he seems to effortlessly inhabit this role. Again,
Speaker 3: it's not his voice that I'm used to hearing, because
Speaker 3: I'm listening to the English stub, But at least the
Speaker 3: physical performance, it's like he was born to play Santa.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The physical performance alone is just an absolute delight.
Speaker 1: He leaves no corner of the scene unshewed, and his face,
Speaker 1: though martially obscured by that fake Santa Wig, and that
Speaker 1: fake Santa Beard, is just continually shifting into a host
Speaker 1: of just extreme emotional expressions, you know, like it's it's
Speaker 1: just he's just constantly doing something up there. And this
Speaker 1: is exactly the sort of movie and the sort of
Speaker 1: role where that kind of energy is rewarding.
Speaker 3: It has the feeling of a stage performance put on screen.
Speaker 1: Yes, you want to make sure that people in the
Speaker 1: very back row know exactly what Santa is feeling just
Speaker 1: by looking at him. Moreno's other credits include nineteen fifty
Speaker 1: two Is the Magnificent Beast, sixty nine's Night of the
Speaker 1: Bloody Apes, and he also played an ogre in Cardona's
Speaker 1: nineteen fifty eight movie Polcarcito.
Speaker 3: Oh, I feel like I saw that word appear in
Speaker 3: the credits. Is that like a nickname of his that
Speaker 3: he might have been credited along with that?
Speaker 1: Is then that that is the name of or the
Speaker 1: nickname of the child actor who plays Pedro. Ohta's helping. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not really going to get into him because his
Speaker 1: is kind of a tragic story. But yeah, that is
Speaker 1: the small Mexican boy that is aiding Santa in his workshop.
Speaker 3: But hey, okay, Santa is our hero. Let's hear about
Speaker 3: our villain who plays the demon Pitch.
Speaker 1: Yes, Pitch is played by jose Lewis Aguire, whose nickname
Speaker 1: is Trotsky. There are a lot of nicks in this.
Speaker 1: I assume that his nickname is a reference to Russian
Speaker 1: revolutionary Leon Trotzky, who of course lived in exile in
Speaker 1: Mexico City and died in Mexico. But I don't know
Speaker 1: if it goes any deeper than that.
Speaker 3: We were just talking about Brian Cox, who played Trotzky
Speaker 3: in the in the film Nicholas and Alexandra.
Speaker 1: Ah, I didn't realize that. Well, there you go. So anyway,
Speaker 1: Trotsky here the actor was born in nineteen twenty three,
Speaker 1: and according to IMDb, he's not been in a film
Speaker 1: since nineteen seventy seven, but there's no death date, which
Speaker 1: means conceivably he's still alive out there at the age
Speaker 1: of one hundred. Hard to say. The MO database separate
Speaker 1: database list credits up through nineteen ninety one, so who knows.
Speaker 1: But also I couldn't find anything like a death date.
Speaker 1: Trotsky was also a dance choreographer, and going by his
Speaker 1: TMD credits, his other parts include a part in Pedro
Speaker 1: Almodovar's nineteen eighty punk movie Pepe Luca Bahm, which I've
Speaker 1: not seen, but I've seen other films by this filmmaker,
Speaker 1: and of course he's pretty famous and very well regarded.
Speaker 3: So this is also a very broad zany, highly physically
Speaker 3: expressive performance from Agira or Trotsky. Here is pitch and
Speaker 3: he does a really great job. Like watching this as
Speaker 3: an adult, you can detect a lot of camp energy,
Speaker 3: and that's the appeal there. But if you think about
Speaker 3: this movie through the eyes of a child, I think
Speaker 3: this is a performance that would read as really funny
Speaker 3: to kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Seeah, it is just a deliciously great physical performance.
Speaker 1: There's prancing energy here, It's just frantic prancing. Again, he
Speaker 1: had a dance background, so there's a lot of dance,
Speaker 1: a lot of flourishes to every movement that Pitch makes,
Speaker 1: and it is easy to focus on that and to
Speaker 1: focus on the inherent comedy here, and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of comedy with Pitch, But I don't think the film
Speaker 1: and Trotsky in particular get enough credit for just how
Speaker 1: effectively malevolent Pitches at times. As well, there are not
Speaker 1: many moments where there are a few moments where they
Speaker 1: really get down to Pitch is evil, especially when he's
Speaker 1: whispering in the years of sleeping children and adults and
Speaker 1: telling them to do things like murder Santa Claus and
Speaker 1: Cold Blood, where he's very menacing, and also some moments
Speaker 1: where he leans unnaturally over the edge of rooftops and
Speaker 1: around corners, like he is actually a cast shadow rather
Speaker 1: than a corporeal being.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can see what you're saying there, and you're right.
Speaker 3: There are parts where the character is surprisingly truly wicked
Speaker 3: and not just comically wicked, like when he's gloating over
Speaker 3: the fact that Santa Claus is going to die. But
Speaker 3: there is an interesting contrast as well in the I
Speaker 3: feel like he's he's the main thing he is is funny,
Speaker 3: and he's supposed to be funny, and that really the
Speaker 3: scariest things in this movie are things that I don't
Speaker 3: know if they're probably not supposed to be cute, but
Speaker 3: they're not like demons. They're things like reindeer or dolls
Speaker 3: that are like the true nightmare entities in this film.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the automatons. All right, let's go through the
Speaker 1: rest of the cast real, real quickly. You're not going
Speaker 1: to mention everybody like Lupita is a great character played
Speaker 1: by a child actor by the name of Lupita Quizadas.
Speaker 1: I believe this is Pedro or Polgarcito's brother. I'm his
Speaker 1: sister rather, But again, this is like one of only
Speaker 1: two films she was in, so there's not much to
Speaker 1: say there. However, Lupita's mother is played by Nora Verjan,
Speaker 1: who lived nineteen twenty nine through nineteen ninety eight. This
Speaker 1: is probably the most believably dramatic performance in the film.
Speaker 1: She was also in another Cardona Kids film, Adventures of
Speaker 1: Jo Solito and Tom Thumb from nineteen sixty and She
Speaker 1: worked mostly in musicals, dramas and musical comedies, as well
Speaker 1: as at least one telenovella in the mid nineties.
Speaker 3: There are some moments with Lupita's mom where the movie
Speaker 3: becomes surprisingly tender and really tugs at the heartstrings.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so like her performance does stand out, though
Speaker 1: it is in a stark contrast to some of the
Speaker 1: other stuff we see.
Speaker 3: Yeah oh, but wait, let's get to our psychedelic wizard
Speaker 3: Merlin and Not.
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot to say about him, but
Speaker 1: played by Armando Ariola who lived nineteen oh three through
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy eight. His other films include nineteen fifty nine's
Speaker 1: El Zarco, which also features Moreno the key Maker or
Speaker 1: the blacksmith or vulcan or whatever she can refer to
Speaker 1: him as. He's a little more interesting because he's played
Speaker 1: by Angel Di Stefani, who lived nineteen oh six through
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy three, tall Mexican actor and stump man. I
Speaker 1: don't think he was aor. I looked around to see
Speaker 1: if I could find his name in any of the
Speaker 1: lucha data bases, but I don't think he was.
Speaker 3: But he appeared a secret identity luchador.
Speaker 1: Well that is true, masked luchador's identities or even today
Speaker 1: not a matter of public record, so it's entirely possible.
Speaker 1: And there's you know, who knows what else is lost
Speaker 1: in the record of some of these films, so it's possible.
Speaker 1: But anyway, he appeared in multiple Cardona films, including a
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty nine Santo film, nineteen sixty seven's The Panther Woman.
Speaker 1: I think that's a Luchadora film. And he also plays
Speaker 1: the titular as tech Mummy in all three as Tech
Speaker 1: Mummy films. Those are not Cardona films, but they are
Speaker 1: certainly well known Mexican horror films. And then the music
Speaker 1: is by Antonio Diez Conde, who died in nineteen seventy six.
Speaker 1: He's come up on the show before because he also
Speaker 1: scored Doctor of Doom. Just a prolific Mexican composer who
Speaker 1: worked on a ton of B pictures during this time period.
Speaker 3: Okay, are we ready to talk about the plot. Let's
Speaker 3: get into it now. As we go through this, we
Speaker 3: are to do one of the more detailed breakdowns of
Speaker 3: this film, but I want a caveat that there are,
Speaker 3: as we've said earlier, multiple different edits of this film.
Speaker 3: So I am watching one of the English releases, which
Speaker 3: in addition to English dubbing, might also be a slightly
Speaker 3: different edit. So it's possible the version I'm talking about
Speaker 3: here might have or lack some scenes that appear elsewhere
Speaker 3: or don't appear elsewhere.
Speaker 1: It's also possible this movie is just magical, and every
Speaker 1: time you see it it's a little bit different in
Speaker 1: ways that other films are not.
Speaker 3: I guess that's true. So the credits role at the beginning,
Speaker 3: on what looks like kind of a Christmas card stock
Speaker 3: and jingle bells is just blasting on the soundtrack, very
Speaker 3: traditional Christmas film opening. But after the credits things start
Speaker 3: getting a little weirder. We see a dark, icy blue
Speaker 3: stratosphere with several white castles floating on top of clouds,
Speaker 3: and I believe this is not Castle Braun, Transylvania. Other
Speaker 3: than that, we have no idea where it is at first,
Speaker 3: until the narrator comes in to inform. The narrator says,
Speaker 3: away up in the heavens, far out in space, in
Speaker 3: a beautiful golden crystal palace, right above the north pole,
Speaker 3: lives a kind and jolly old gentleman, Santa Claus, also
Speaker 3: known as Saint Nicholas, the best Friend of boys and
Speaker 3: girls everywhere. But let's move in closer for a look.
Speaker 3: Come along, And then through a veil of fog, the
Speaker 3: camera zooms in on Saint Nicholas himself, and when we
Speaker 3: first see him, he's busy fixing up his Christmas decorations,
Speaker 3: including and here's the first of many things in the
Speaker 3: movie that I don't know if they were meant to
Speaker 3: look scary, but they really do. He's like working on
Speaker 3: a statuette of an angel that to me evokes true
Speaker 3: cosmic horror. It's like a somber winged woman with gray
Speaker 3: flesh who is about to speak the names of the
Speaker 3: nine Hidden Gods, and Santa's, you know, adjusting her clothing.
Speaker 3: He's also working on a little Manger scene, like he's
Speaker 3: putting Hay in a little manger cradle, and various other decorations.
Speaker 3: There's strings of ten Soul and figurines of Mary and
Speaker 3: Joseph and all that. And the whole time he is
Speaker 3: tending to his minis, he emits non stop bellowing laughter,
Speaker 3: just super villain laughter at nothing in particular, and I
Speaker 3: love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, he's just absolutely overflowing with the Christmas spirit.
Speaker 1: You can't blame him and these I also have to
Speaker 1: mention this is something that the MST three k Riff
Speaker 1: points out, But it looks like Santa is stuffing like
Speaker 1: bits of his fake beard into the Manger scene, like
Speaker 1: into the Manger itself where the christ child will go,
Speaker 1: which feels like it feels kind of animalistic, you know,
Speaker 1: like he's a he's a beast building a nest. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I see that. Yeah, but it is interesting too. How again,
Speaker 1: you know, you can imagine this picture going into a
Speaker 1: very otherwise religious Christmas culture, and it's firmly establishing the
Speaker 1: religious faith of Santa Claus, just to I guess make
Speaker 1: sure they're you know, they're no misunderstandings.
Speaker 3: Right, the Santa Claus in this movie, he doesn't talk
Speaker 3: about it a lot, but it is mentioned at a
Speaker 3: few times. This Santa is a Christian, like he mentions
Speaker 3: the Baby Jesus a couple times, and here he's clearly
Speaker 3: attending to these angels, assuming these are supposed to be
Speaker 3: Christian angels and not like the joyless angels of the yeah,
Speaker 3: the Nine Hidden Gods or whatever. But so yeah, he's
Speaker 3: messing with the angels and he says, it's almost Christmas,
Speaker 3: and I must finish the toys for all the good
Speaker 3: children on earth. I hope you'll pardon me, but I
Speaker 3: mustn't be late. And then he scampers over to the
Speaker 3: other end of the room, singing the tune of Silent
Speaker 3: Night in like these deep la la laws as he goes.
Speaker 3: And this Santa, by the way, you gotta imagine a
Speaker 3: deep voice. He is a bass Santa Claus. Yes, so
Speaker 3: he goes and sits down at his organ keyboard, and
Speaker 3: he starts like honking the knobs and stuff, and the
Speaker 3: narrator tells us that quote, this is Santa's toy Land,
Speaker 3: a sort of international toy factory. Here are gathered boys
Speaker 3: and girls of different races and creeds. They have come
Speaker 3: from many lands to help Santa bring joy and happiness
Speaker 3: to all of the Earth's children. And here begins the
Speaker 3: parade of cultural depictions. Rob what you were referring to
Speaker 3: as the sort of it's a small world montage is
Speaker 3: showing children allegedly from many different countries and continents and regions,
Speaker 3: one group at a time, usually in some stereotypical clothing,
Speaker 3: singing a particular song that may or may not normally
Speaker 3: be associated with their nationality or region of origin. Obviously,
Speaker 3: this segment, I think it was well meaning, like intending
Speaker 3: to show Santa inviting children from all around the world
Speaker 3: to help with his benevolent toy shop mission. But as
Speaker 3: you might guess from this nineteen fifty nine movie, some
Speaker 3: of the ways the different cultures are depicted does not
Speaker 3: feel right. So I can understand why some later edits
Speaker 3: of the film cut this section down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it does go on a long while. That's
Speaker 1: a lengthy segment, but you get those great states that
Speaker 1: you'll show one group of kids, then you'll switch back
Speaker 1: to Santa playing the organ. And it's great because obviously,
Speaker 1: like a lot of actors in films, Sant is not
Speaker 1: the actor of Mareno is obviously not playing a piano
Speaker 1: or an organ here, but he is acting like he is,
Speaker 1: and boy is he acting hard. It is just a
Speaker 1: sight to behold.
Speaker 3: Oh, he's feeling it. He's like he looks like he's
Speaker 3: playing the organ part in like in a God Davida.
Speaker 3: You know, he's just grooven, really feeling the music. And
Speaker 3: also I think it's clear that like he could not
Speaker 3: see what we're seeing when the children are being shown
Speaker 3: in these scenes that they're just telling him like act
Speaker 3: it up, like you know, you're looking at the children,
Speaker 3: but he's just gazing off to the side somewhere while
Speaker 3: while feeling the organ music.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 3: But also there's a weird thing during this segment that
Speaker 3: compounds on the on the questionable cultural depictions, which is
Speaker 3: that some of these segments are also hilarious because of
Speaker 3: how bored and confused many of the children look and
Speaker 3: for the song selections. For example, they never actually show
Speaker 3: the group of children from England. We just hear the
Speaker 3: narrator mentioned there are children from England, and then we
Speaker 3: hear kids singing London Bridge is falling down British classic.
Speaker 3: But then we do see the delegation of kids from
Speaker 3: Russia who are singing this really like energetic, aggressive Russian
Speaker 3: folk song with like shouts in it. But for some reason,
Speaker 3: one of the children is shown driving a car.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: A few other funny things from around here. I noted
Speaker 3: that the a number of the groups of children are
Speaker 3: heavily armed with rifles and other weapons, and this this
Speaker 3: is not the only time in the movie where like
Speaker 3: it's kind of surprising for a Christmas film about Santa.
Speaker 3: How many guns there are in it. Also, the kids
Speaker 3: from the USA are dressed as cowboys and singing. Mary
Speaker 3: had a little lamb, and I would say that the
Speaker 3: kids who do the best job of selling the song
Speaker 3: they're given to perform are, perhaps unsurprisingly, the Mexican delegation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they really shine.
Speaker 3: But eventually Santa gets you know, he's had enough that
Speaker 3: this does go on for like seven minutes. I timed it.
Speaker 3: And then so he goes off to say, okay, done
Speaker 3: to the organ. I'm going to meet up with some
Speaker 3: of my top Hinch children. And one of the workshop
Speaker 3: kids brings Santa a demon shaped firecracker on a stick
Speaker 3: and says, Santa, do you like this devil? And Santa's
Speaker 3: a little perplexed by it. He doesn't recall any of
Speaker 3: the good children of Earth asking for this toy in
Speaker 3: their letters to Santa Claus, So he says, oh, this
Speaker 3: is one of his very memorable quotable lines. He says,
Speaker 3: how does it work? What is the sense of it?
Speaker 3: But the kid shows him you got to light the fuse,
Speaker 3: and then the devil spins around on the end of
Speaker 3: the stick and from this firecracker, we smash cut to
Speaker 3: a real live devil twirling around in a similar manner
Speaker 3: in Hell by the Way, which is represented as a
Speaker 3: cavern full of shadows and belching flames. And this is Pitch,
Speaker 3: our antagonist for the film. He's got horns, he's got
Speaker 3: pointy ears, a goatee, he's cherry red from head to
Speaker 3: toe except for his dark goatee and a few sort
Speaker 3: of accents on his costume. Read all over, and we
Speaker 3: watch Pitch and the other devils do a large coordinated
Speaker 3: dance number in the middle of the fiery subterranean recess,
Speaker 3: surrounded by the way by hooded figures in robes, And
Speaker 3: I was like, wait a minute, I don't know if
Speaker 3: I ever noticed these hooded figures before. Are these like
Speaker 3: satanic cult members in Hell?
Speaker 1: I think they are supposed to be the souls of
Speaker 1: the dance?
Speaker 3: Okay, I can see that which.
Speaker 1: You won in your Christmas movie of course.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. So you know, the devils are dancing until
Speaker 3: the boss shows up and in a terrifying voice which
Speaker 3: I think is the same voice as that of the
Speaker 3: narrator by the way, he says he says, stop, I Lucifer,
Speaker 3: King of Hades, command you, and command you to stop
Speaker 3: and disappear, begone all of you except Pitch, and then
Speaker 3: Pitch pitches like, what do you want? Master? And Lucifer,
Speaker 3: King of Hades, He's gonna give his subordinate demon Pitch
Speaker 3: a talking to. So we learn Pitch is the chief
Speaker 3: of Satan's minions and the time will soon come once
Speaker 3: again that he must leave the Brimstone Pits and go
Speaker 3: up to Earth to do battle with his arch enemy,
Speaker 3: Santa Claus, whom Satan refers to as that bearded old goat,
Speaker 3: which is kind of flipping the script because wouldn't the
Speaker 3: demon be the one who's associated with a goat.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, especially given the sort of
Speaker 1: beard that they've given Pitch here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Billy go beard exactly. But yeah, anyway, Satan, he's
Speaker 3: got an assignment for Pitch. He wants him to go
Speaker 3: out and convince all of the children of Earth to
Speaker 3: do evil, and if he fails, he will be punished.
Speaker 3: Instead of his favorite food, red hot coals, Pitch will
Speaker 3: be forced to eat chocolate ice cream, and clearly, to Pitch,
Speaker 3: this is a fate worse than death. He begs for mercy,
Speaker 3: he says, not chocolate ice cream. It's very bad for
Speaker 3: his digestion. But you know, Satan, Satan is not a
Speaker 3: good boss. He offers. He's he's all stick, no carrot.
Speaker 1: And this is great and this is comedy for the children.
Speaker 3: So Pitch accepts the mission. He says, I promise, so priceless,
Speaker 3: Prince of Hades, that by my many whiles, I will
Speaker 3: finish off Santa forever and see that the children commit
Speaker 3: terrible deeds and make Santa Claus angry. So you know,
Speaker 3: Pitch has his mission. He goes up to Earth to
Speaker 3: carry it out. And by the way, somewhere in here
Speaker 3: we randomly just see a newspaper lying on the ground
Speaker 3: with the front page headline. It's in Spanish but translated
Speaker 3: to English. The headline is the Christmas Spirit brings peace
Speaker 3: on Earth.
Speaker 1: Well, you want to feel good story for the holidays, right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: Pitch burns the newspaper because I guess he doesn't like
Speaker 3: the Christmas Spirit. And speaking of demons, we next cut
Speaker 3: to a department store window with children crowding around to
Speaker 3: look at the toys, and one of the toys is
Speaker 3: one of one of these things in the movie that
Speaker 3: I think is much scarier than it was intended to be.
Speaker 3: It's this creepy, mechanical Santa Claus that is much like
Speaker 3: the real Santa from earlier, laughing maniacally without pause.
Speaker 1: It's an excellent automaton, but it is it is creepy.
Speaker 3: To be helped, Yeah, I think it would be. It
Speaker 3: would be less scary if it were less good, actually,
Speaker 3: like if it was less realistic looking. It's it's sort
Speaker 3: of getting into uncanny valley territory.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And in this scene, looking at the department store window,
Speaker 3: we meet two children who were going to follow for
Speaker 3: the rest of the movie. We meet a little boy
Speaker 3: with curly hair who we initially don't learn his name.
Speaker 3: The narrator just identifies him as a boy who has
Speaker 3: been very good all year. But we also learned that
Speaker 3: his father is very rich, so this is the good
Speaker 3: little rich boy. And then by contrast, we meet Lupita
Speaker 3: and her mother. Lupita is also a very good child,
Speaker 3: but her family is very poor, and Lupita's lifelong dream,
Speaker 3: we learn, is to own a doll any doll.
Speaker 1: And in this the film introduces some rather deep thoughts.
Speaker 1: I guess that it at least plays with kicks around
Speaker 1: a little bit throughout the course of the picture. Like
Speaker 1: it's almost kind of surprising because on one level we
Speaker 1: do have this just fantasy element Santa Claus and then
Speaker 1: this devil. But then the movie then like really sobers
Speaker 1: up at times and it's like, hey, why is there
Speaker 1: an equality in the world? Why do bad things happen
Speaker 1: to good people? Why? And so forth? And it doesn't
Speaker 1: really have answers to those questions, but it, like I say,
Speaker 1: it kicks them around a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, this movie in which Santa Claus is real,
Speaker 3: also somehow grapples with the question why do poor children
Speaker 3: who are good get fewer toys from Santa than rich
Speaker 3: children who are good? And it doesn't really answer that question,
Speaker 3: but it does raise it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it at least acknowledges that question. So it's always
Speaker 1: something that's fascinated me about this picture, Like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: doesn't shy away from it, but it doesn't provide any
Speaker 1: convincing answers, because I mean, these are difficult, difficult problems
Speaker 1: to bring up in your fantasy Santa film.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hey, there are just too many good children we've
Speaker 3: been looking at now are there some real creeps among
Speaker 3: the children here? And yes there are. There are three
Speaker 3: mean little boys who rudely push in front of the
Speaker 3: others to look in the window at all the toys
Speaker 3: and the Santa robot and the narrator scolds them, but
Speaker 3: they do not seem to notice. Also, I wanted to
Speaker 3: note that the two of the little bad boys here
Speaker 3: are wearing leather jackets like they're in a biker gang,
Speaker 3: but they're like ten years old.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, they got their cuts on. Nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So the devil Pitch appears and he goads the
Speaker 3: three wicked boys into doing some evil. He makes rocks
Speaker 3: appear in front of them, and then convinces them to
Speaker 3: throw the rocks and break the department store window, pelting
Speaker 3: the mechanical Santa Claus. And then somehow magically, one of
Speaker 3: the rocks that was thrown at the robot Santa hits
Speaker 3: the real Santa up in his palace in space in
Speaker 3: the face.
Speaker 1: So more complex theology presented here metaphysics if you will,
Speaker 1: like I guess, all representations of Santa are also Santa,
Speaker 1: and therefore anything done to them you do unto him.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, it's yes, I can see that it's like transubstantiation.
Speaker 3: It's like any representation of Santa becomes literally the body
Speaker 3: of Santa.
Speaker 1: I believe. So.
Speaker 3: So Santa is very annoyed at this devil who he
Speaker 3: clearly they already have a relationship. He knows Pitch quite well.
Speaker 3: They've been battling for years. And he explains that if
Speaker 3: he were allowed, he'd go down to Earth right now
Speaker 3: and put that devil in his place. But he can't
Speaker 3: go to Earth yet. He's only allowed to go on
Speaker 3: Christmas Eve and not before. But that maybe wonder first
Speaker 3: of all, who imposes these restrictions? And second, what would
Speaker 3: happen to Santa if he went before Christmas Eve? Would
Speaker 3: he into flames? Would he bleed from his eyes? How
Speaker 3: does it work?
Speaker 1: I mean, these are clearly rules that God has put
Speaker 1: in place, but beyond that we have no details.
Speaker 3: So Santa's main hinch child is the child named Pedro,
Speaker 3: and he seems to be the one who like makes
Speaker 3: everything work in Santa's palace, like even you know, Santa's
Speaker 3: like Merlin is absent minded. Santa himself even kind of
Speaker 3: gets sidetracked on things. It seems like Pedro is like
Speaker 3: it's like the chief of staff in the White House,
Speaker 3: Pedro keeps everything on the rails, and he's got some
Speaker 3: intel for Santa. He knows about Lupita, the good child,
Speaker 3: whose family is very poor, and Santa wants to make
Speaker 3: sure that she is appropriately rewarded at Christmas, so they
Speaker 3: decide to go use the telescope to find her. And
Speaker 3: here begins a sequence of displaying all of Santa's array
Speaker 3: of eerie psychic technology. He has the Euroscope, the tele
Speaker 3: talker that knows every thing, the cosmic telescope, and the
Speaker 3: Master Eye. And the narrator says, nothing that happens on
Speaker 3: Earth is unknown to Santa Claus. And we see this
Speaker 3: room and it involves not only like a sort of
Speaker 3: traditional looking telescope, it's like a big tube appearing out
Speaker 3: of a window. But there are also strange I don't
Speaker 3: even know what to call it. You know, one looks
Speaker 3: like a one thing looks like a game of Simon says.
Speaker 3: Another thing is just like a computer in the wall
Speaker 3: that has a face, including like lips that move and
Speaker 3: eyes and a big nose that lights up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like big rolling stones or rocky horror lips that
Speaker 1: move and talk and seem to be like moist, even ugh.
Speaker 3: But Pedro says, by magic powers, look for the child
Speaker 3: we're seeking, whether she is in a cave or behind
Speaker 3: a million mountains. And then the lips on the wall
Speaker 3: computer start talking. They say already, And then this tentacle
Speaker 3: eyeball ends out into space from Santa's communications tower, and
Speaker 3: the helpers announced that they have found the little girl
Speaker 3: in Mexico. But then when Santa's like, oh, you found her,
Speaker 3: I'll go take a look, and he looks through that
Speaker 3: telescope eyepiece to see her, and it's like a view
Speaker 3: of the entire earth. I remember there being a funny
Speaker 3: riff about this in the Mystery Science Theater with her like,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, really zoomed in on her. But eventually we
Speaker 3: do tune back in with Lupita, so he finds Lupita directly,
Speaker 3: and when he does, she's watching this grotesque puppet show.
Speaker 3: It's one of these slapstick shows where the puppets are
Speaker 3: hitting each other. Lupita is not laughing at the show,
Speaker 3: though she looks very sad. She's sad because she is
Speaker 3: still thinking about the doll that she wants for Christmas,
Speaker 3: and as her mother takes her by the hand and
Speaker 3: leads her away. They pass a vendor in the street
Speaker 3: selling dolls from a table, and here we get to
Speaker 3: the will Lupita steal scene. Oh boy, so Lupita, you
Speaker 3: know she wants a dolly, but the narrator warns, no, Lopita,
Speaker 3: do not steal. Put it back, and so at first
Speaker 3: she makes like she's gonna do it. She tucks a
Speaker 3: doll into her behind like her jacket, and she walks away,
Speaker 3: and then Pitch appears, trying to convince her to take it.
Speaker 3: Pitch says, it's yours. Nobody saw you take it. What
Speaker 3: does one little doll matter? And Pitch is grinning ferociously
Speaker 3: and rubbing his hands together as he tries to talk
Speaker 3: her into it, but the narrator argues back. He says again, no, Lupita,
Speaker 3: it's wrong and you'll be sorry. So Pitch is obviously
Speaker 3: the devil on her shoulder, but the narrator, I guess,
Speaker 3: is the angel on her other shoulder. They go back
Speaker 3: and forth, and then the end Lupita puts the doll
Speaker 3: back because she is good.
Speaker 1: I love Pitch's energy though, as he's trying to convince her,
Speaker 1: because he's like, you want the doll. You should be evil.
Speaker 1: You should be evil, And she's like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be evil. He's like, like, you want the doll,
Speaker 1: he should be evil. Like he's just like getting cut
Speaker 1: and right to the chase there, and it's like, just
Speaker 1: be evil. We're not even it's not even sugarcoating it
Speaker 1: by being like, well, he does a little bit. He's like,
Speaker 1: you know, they won't miss it, but he just goes
Speaker 1: goes for the bigger cell and it's just like, commit
Speaker 1: your heart to darkness, now, my child. Well, Lupita's doo
Speaker 1: good for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So she resists, Yes, that's right, she is morally
Speaker 3: pure and she will not take the doll. She puts
Speaker 3: it back. Pitch is very angry. He's like flexing his
Speaker 3: jaw in frustration, like a thwarted cat looking out the
Speaker 3: window at a bird. And he says curses, and he
Speaker 3: tells her that little girls must steal or do without
Speaker 3: the things they like. So the narrator argues again, but
Speaker 3: this time the delivery is funny because of the strange
Speaker 3: inflection on the line, which makes it sound almost like
Speaker 3: the narrator is mocking her. So the narrator says, that's
Speaker 3: not true, Lupita. If you're good, somehow, you'll be rewarded.
Speaker 3: It almost sounds like the narrator is holding back laughter
Speaker 3: as he says this.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I know what I'm talking about. I didn't
Speaker 1: quite get that feeling from it, but the line always
Speaker 1: stuck out at me because of like somehow, like she'll
Speaker 1: be rewarded again, dancing around this pro problem that they
Speaker 1: are addressing elsewhere in the film. You know, why do
Speaker 1: bad things happen to good people? Why do good children
Speaker 1: not get gifts from Santa if they are poor? The
Speaker 1: question again, that is directly asked by this picture, but
Speaker 1: the picture does not provide any answers to this difficult problem.
Speaker 3: Well, it kind of side steps it with magic at
Speaker 3: the end because just Santa does give her the gift
Speaker 3: she wants at the end through magic, So it kind
Speaker 3: of gets around the real world problem, right. But anyway,
Speaker 3: so in the film back at the Crystal Palace in
Speaker 3: outer Space, Santa is very proud of Lupita. He exclaims
Speaker 3: to his helpers that all of his friends can't ignore
Speaker 3: the devil, and then they kick off the surveillance process
Speaker 3: once again to find the other children from outside the store.
Speaker 3: This time they tune in on the good boy, whose
Speaker 3: family is rich, and he's asleep when they find him.
Speaker 3: So Santa's like connect to the antenna for the dream scope,
Speaker 3: and they invade the little boy's dreams and they witness
Speaker 3: in his dreaming mind that he wants to come down
Speaker 3: the airs on Christmas morning to these two giant boxes.
Speaker 3: And the narrators like, what large gift boxes? Would these
Speaker 3: be toys? But no, what they contain? What a child
Speaker 3: loves best his parents? And Santa Claus gets very, very
Speaker 3: sober here, and he says, a dream is a wish
Speaker 3: the heart makes, and Santa explains that even though the
Speaker 3: little rich boy can have any possession he wants just
Speaker 3: by asking, all he really wants is the love and
Speaker 3: attention of his parents, and whether they truly love him
Speaker 3: is yet to be seen. And Santa says this with
Speaker 3: a heavy sigh. But what about Lupita's dreams? Well, here
Speaker 3: we're going to resume the stealing debate. So they tune
Speaker 3: in on the dream scope to Lupita. She's asleep in
Speaker 3: her bed and we see a little by the way,
Speaker 3: we see her parents talking and Lupita's mother explains to
Speaker 3: Lapita's father that when she was young, she would dream
Speaker 3: of growing up and having great riches, but at the
Speaker 3: time she would also dream of the devil. I guess
Speaker 3: she would be afraid. And then Pitch appears in the
Speaker 3: house and like blows back dreams into Lupita's brain, and
Speaker 3: we see Lupita standing in this big room that looks
Speaker 3: like a giant like walk in freezer warehouse, and it's
Speaker 3: full of fog, and there are these big boxes, kind
Speaker 3: of like in the last scene where the kid's parents
Speaker 3: were in boxes, but instead this is a lot of
Speaker 3: adult sized boxes and what comes out of them just
Speaker 3: a nightmare of giant robotic doll ghouls.
Speaker 1: For some reason, this whole sequence, which again is very
Speaker 1: clearly intended to be disturbing, perhaps too disturbing, even though
Speaker 1: it doesn't have actual devils in it, Like it almost
Speaker 1: feels like like this one is by guest director Mario Bavas.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like it reminds me of the planet's
Speaker 1: surface and Planet of the Vampires.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and these these dolls are a horror creation.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's it's supposed to be a
Speaker 3: bad dream. Even though she is she does want doll.
Speaker 3: These are evil dolls that encourage wickedness, and we see
Speaker 3: them dance around a lot. They do like a dull
Speaker 3: ghoul ballet in the fog. And then the arguments with
Speaker 3: this dull puppet faced figure who screeches in this evil witch.
Speaker 1: Voice, total Babba Yaga voice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Bobby ya exactly Bobby Yaga. She's like, you
Speaker 3: must steal us all, Lupita, and Lupita says no because
Speaker 3: I do not want to steal, but you must learn
Speaker 3: to steal. No, because stealing is bad and I want
Speaker 3: to be good. We dolls only like girls who steal.
Speaker 3: No to steal would be evil, and I do not
Speaker 3: want to be evil. You must be evil if you
Speaker 3: want the doll. And it just goes on and on,
Speaker 3: back and forth. I don't know. This is one of
Speaker 3: my favorite parts of the movie. I can't quite explain
Speaker 3: how funny and good the energy of this back and
Speaker 3: forth is. But it's peak Santa Claus, just.
Speaker 1: A real hard sell for evil again. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like a timeshare situation going on here.
Speaker 3: The more you steal, the more you save.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But eventually Lupita wakes up distressed and she's comforted by
Speaker 3: her mother. Now we check in on some of the
Speaker 3: other kids we saw earlier, the three little boys who
Speaker 3: broke the window at the store. They are once again.
Speaker 3: They come under the surveillance of Santa's sophisticated magical equipment,
Speaker 3: and they're talking about how they plan to do more crimes,
Speaker 3: and they also say they plan to write letters to
Speaker 3: Santa Claus, claiming that they have been as good as
Speaker 3: angels all year, and Santa will never know the difference
Speaker 3: because he is far away and old. And Santa starts
Speaker 3: getting really offended. He's like, I'm not old. The devil
Speaker 3: is older than me. But obviously, you know Santa, he
Speaker 3: knows everything, so he's not going to be fooled by
Speaker 3: these rascals. He understands what they're up to and their
Speaker 3: letters will not trick him. And then there's a scene
Speaker 3: of children all around the world writing letters to Santa
Speaker 3: asking for what they want most, and these letters are
Speaker 3: sorted at the post office, the letters to Santa like
Speaker 3: they put them all in a pile and then dump
Speaker 3: them into the furnace in the post office. But then
Speaker 3: by magic, instead of falling into the fire, they get
Speaker 3: sucked up through the chimney and out into outer space,
Speaker 3: where they funnel into Santa's crystal palace and then rain
Speaker 3: down on Santa out of a hole in the wall.
Speaker 3: And Santa seems to get real pleasure from being buried
Speaker 3: under all these letters.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's terrific scene. It's just like it's just raining,
Speaker 1: raining letters from the children on him, and he's just ah,
Speaker 1: it's amazing.
Speaker 3: He's literally rolling in the mail, like wallowing in it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of like any it's like a danger
Speaker 1: diabolic except with the money on the bed. It's it's
Speaker 1: children's letters to Santa on the floor.
Speaker 3: So he like looks at some of these letters. There's
Speaker 3: a funny moment where he starts reading one of these
Speaker 3: letters and it's from a kid who asks for too
Speaker 3: many things, including like a nuclear laboratory. I think uh.
Speaker 3: And then there are also children who tell falsehoods in
Speaker 3: their notes and they have their letters deposited into the
Speaker 3: liar's box. And then there's another thing where children who
Speaker 3: ask for a younger sibling they have their notes handed
Speaker 3: off to the stork. But anyway, Christmas Eve is almost here,
Speaker 3: so Santa makes a big speech to his helpers telling them, Okay,
Speaker 3: we got to put the effort in. It's almost time.
Speaker 3: It's you know, we got a big show coming, you know,
Speaker 3: we really got to push it to the finish line.
Speaker 3: And then we get the introduction of Merlin. Yes, yes, Merlin,
Speaker 3: it's time for Merlin. As I said earlier, he's part alchemist,
Speaker 3: part Archimedes inventor, part sorcerer and magician. They you know,
Speaker 3: he's sort of John Dee a little bit. And there
Speaker 3: there is some real occult imagery in his office.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like a pentagram of sorts above the above
Speaker 1: the hearth. There's also some sort of a goat's head
Speaker 1: above the hearth, and then just again, so many beakers
Speaker 1: of smoking liquids and infuming liquids and tubes. Also you know,
Speaker 1: astronomical looking artifacts as well. It's it's quite a set.
Speaker 3: The narrator tells us that Merlin is Santa's most devoted ally,
Speaker 3: though he is a bit absent minded, and when we
Speaker 3: first meet him, he tells us he's busy grinding up
Speaker 3: rainbows in his mortar and pestle, and then he's going
Speaker 3: to reveal to Santa the secret of the magic stardust
Speaker 3: and one of the ingredients he lists is plutonium, another
Speaker 3: is pollen from moon flowers, and dust from butterfly wings,
Speaker 3: and we see him like fiddling around with this giant,
Speaker 3: you know, almost man eating sized flower. Also, I noticed
Speaker 3: a little we get one long distant shot where you
Speaker 3: can see Merlin's feet and he's got shoes with those
Speaker 3: curled up pointy toes.
Speaker 1: Oh, of course he does.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Merlin mixes up the magic stardust in an urn
Speaker 3: over a Bunsen burner, and then he pours it off
Speaker 3: into Santa's Magic Wizard bag. So Merlin, as we said earlier,
Speaker 3: he's basically the source of all of Santa's batman gadgets.
Speaker 3: Other equipment in addition to the stardust includes one of
Speaker 3: my favorite. It's the flower to Disappear. This is a
Speaker 3: flower that's Santa Claus can sniff to become invisible or
Speaker 3: also to teleport.
Speaker 1: I think it's a little unclear if he is becoming
Speaker 1: invisible and then walking away and going where he needs
Speaker 1: to go, or if yeah, he vanishes and teleports to
Speaker 1: wherever he needs to go. Either way tremendous effect.
Speaker 3: Onto the next weird ally of Santa's the Master blacksmith
Speaker 3: or key maker of the palace. This is the guy
Speaker 3: who you identified as he faced Us or Vulcan. He's,
Speaker 3: you know, hammering on his divine anvil. He's got a
Speaker 3: bunch of strange metal implements all throughout the room and
Speaker 3: a big fire and hammers and tongs and all that stuff.
Speaker 3: And here he oh he also, I don't know, like
Speaker 3: he's got a chest hair on his chest. That is
Speaker 3: the fakest movie chest hair I've ever seen. It's like
Speaker 3: an arrow of hair. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And again, if you've only seen the MST three
Speaker 1: K version of this, you've missed this segment entirely.
Speaker 3: So here Santa Claus gets the quote the golden key
Speaker 3: that opens all doors. He gives it a test run.
Speaker 3: It opens doors by like creating an electrical arc with them,
Speaker 3: and he's like laughing as he tests it out. He's like,
Speaker 3: I will get through any door now.
Speaker 1: And then in fact, they do a test run on
Speaker 1: multiple doors.
Speaker 3: Yes they do. Yes. And then the next thing is,
Speaker 3: this is so strange Santa is using I think this
Speaker 3: is supposed to be a joke about some like nineteen
Speaker 3: fifties gimmick weight loss devices. Santa is using some machine
Speaker 3: that looks like it's like mechanically running a sander belt
Speaker 3: over his belly, and it looks like a thing that
Speaker 3: would really like be sold by Catalog in the fifties,
Speaker 3: claiming to melt off the pounds.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've seen this device so many times
Speaker 1: in the past, in like Looney Tunes cartoons perhaps, you know,
Speaker 1: or or maybe old timey television, to where I don't
Speaker 1: even think about it when I see it because it's
Speaker 1: so it's so established. And again probably old cartoons or
Speaker 1: old TV shows. But again, you know, Santa likes his tech.
Speaker 3: He does, yeah, yeah, and he claims that it works.
Speaker 3: He claims that before he before he used it, he
Speaker 3: couldn't fit down chimneys anymore. But then he tests out
Speaker 3: a chimney in his gym, I guess in the palace,
Speaker 3: and he's like, yep, I fit down now. So the
Speaker 3: next thing is we check out Santa's reindeer, and I'm
Speaker 3: sorry I have to keep emphasizing the creepiness of various elements,
Speaker 3: like the robot Santa Claus in the department store, but
Speaker 3: this is another one of these mechanical creatures that are
Speaker 3: just like a soulless virus from hell. These things are horrifying.
Speaker 3: When they start moving their jaws, I think they have
Speaker 3: yellow eyes, and oh boy, they're creepy.
Speaker 1: They I think they laugh. I'm not sure there's like
Speaker 1: a laughing sequence. And then we were told additional facts
Speaker 1: about them that do not make them seem less creepy.
Speaker 1: I can't stress enough that the mechanical reindeer here eat
Speaker 1: food made from clouds, and sunlight will turn them to dust.
Speaker 1: Like if Santa's not back in one night like he's
Speaker 1: supposed to be, the light of the sun will just
Speaker 1: turn these things into powder.
Speaker 3: Yeah. This is part of a longer conversation about the
Speaker 3: consequences of Santa not returning on time. So Santa says
Speaker 3: that if he can't make it back by mourning. First
Speaker 3: of all, he would not survive on Earth because he
Speaker 3: is used to a diet of crystal palace food, which
Speaker 3: is made up of pastries and ice cream made of clouds.
Speaker 3: And he says, on Earth they eat plants, animals, everything
Speaker 3: in sight, even smoke and alcohol and pedro gasps when
Speaker 3: he says this, But the implication is that Santa cannot
Speaker 3: eat such things and would starve to death on planet
Speaker 3: Earth and his reindeer. If the sun comes up on them,
Speaker 3: they will turn to dust and he won't be able
Speaker 3: to come back. So he's got to be back by
Speaker 3: sunriser he will die.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, I don't think it's a great sign when
Speaker 1: you're strange comatans are destroyed by sunlight. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It seems like a red flag for any kind of
Speaker 1: supernatural entity, but against Santa's a special case.
Speaker 3: I guess. Well, one of his hinch children does suggest
Speaker 3: replacing them. While he's like getting the sleigh out, the
Speaker 3: Russian child comes up and I think says something in Russian,
Speaker 3: but we are to understand that he has suggested that
Speaker 3: Santa replace his sleigh with sputnik topical.
Speaker 1: What if you just replaced the reindeer with Sputniks and
Speaker 1: you had, like, you know, a dozen Sputniks pulling the
Speaker 1: slide through the sky. That could be kind of cute.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So Santa he's like, yeah, nice suggestion, but he
Speaker 3: can't replace his white reindeer. They are too precious to him, clearly,
Speaker 3: So Santa's helpers come. They load up the sleigh with
Speaker 3: gifts for all the children of the world. And as
Speaker 3: Santa is leaving his palace after he winding up his
Speaker 3: mechanical reindeer with a key, he asks that Jesus, the
Speaker 3: Son of God, join him on Earth so that all
Speaker 3: may have joy and goodwill. And then we see him
Speaker 3: flying through space to Earth, and there's a moment where
Speaker 3: the narrator lets us know, like, whew, that was close.
Speaker 3: He almost ran into the moon.
Speaker 1: That that feels like this is Murray just getting in
Speaker 1: some extra fun with the narration, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if that's in the original. But
Speaker 3: down on Earth, we check in with, first of all,
Speaker 3: the little rich boy, whose parents tuck him into bed
Speaker 3: and then go out on a date. It's Christmas Eve,
Speaker 3: but they're like going out to a restaurant. I mean,
Speaker 3: I guess that's the thing some people do. I don't know,
Speaker 3: but he goes out. Obviously, the little boy wishes that
Speaker 3: his parents would stay home with him, but his mother
Speaker 3: tells him that if he gets bored, he can go
Speaker 3: practice his piano lessons.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, kids love that.
Speaker 3: And then we also check in with the three bad
Speaker 3: boys from earlier. They are discussing a plan to capture
Speaker 3: an enslave Santa Claus so that all of his toys
Speaker 3: and powers would become there. So these are power hungry children, These.
Speaker 1: Are bad kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Then there's also oh I mentioned earlier that there
Speaker 3: are like these surprisingly tender scenes with Lupita and her mother.
Speaker 3: One of them comes up here, and this is, you know,
Speaker 3: the one that addresses the central question. Lupita asks questions
Speaker 3: about Santa Claus, and she wonders if Santa doesn't like
Speaker 3: her because he has never brought her a doll, and
Speaker 3: Lupita's mother is trapped because she can't explain the real
Speaker 3: reason Lupita has never gotten a doll, which is that
Speaker 3: they can't afford it without spoiling, you know, belief in
Speaker 3: Santa Claus. But she doesn't want Lupita to think that
Speaker 3: Santa doesn't like her or believes her to be a
Speaker 3: wicked child. And you can just see the desperation on
Speaker 3: her mother's face. She's in a bind, so she just
Speaker 3: she says they can pray for it, and she tells
Speaker 3: the story of how Christmas is about commemorating the birth
Speaker 3: of Jesus, who was even poorer than they are, and
Speaker 3: then Lupita decides that she will ask Santa for two dollies,
Speaker 3: and if she gets them, she will give one to
Speaker 3: Little Jesus and amidst all of the weird stuff going on,
Speaker 3: this this sort of complex situation really does grab the
Speaker 3: heartstrings and like asks weird, hard questions about the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it almost feels like it belongs in another movie
Speaker 1: in which Santa is not clearly real. Yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: always it throws everything out of line when Santa is real.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like watching ted Lasso. Eventually, it is
Speaker 1: revealed that in the tad Lasso universe, Santa Claus is real,
Speaker 1: which raises all sorts of questions about everything else that
Speaker 1: happens in that tvcery, Like, what else is real? Santa
Speaker 1: is real, We've opened the gate ted Lasso. What's what
Speaker 1: else is out there?
Speaker 3: Good question? All right? So meanwhile, we've got Santa arriving
Speaker 3: on Earth. Pitch has been hanging out on Earth waiting
Speaker 3: for Santa to get here so he can you know,
Speaker 3: play tricks on him. And Pitch is cold. He doesn't
Speaker 3: like Earth because you know, he wants his brimstone pits
Speaker 3: where it's hot. And this begins the sort of trick
Speaker 3: or treat section of the movie. For a while we
Speaker 3: just watch Santa going around to various houses. He's doing
Speaker 3: his business delivering toys, and along the way, Pitch is
Speaker 3: playing pranks on him and trying to harm Santa. So,
Speaker 3: for example, at one house, Pitch moves the chimney out
Speaker 3: of the way so Santa won't be able to get inside.
Speaker 3: I have questions about the mechanics of this, but Santa
Speaker 3: gets around this by jumping down to ground level using
Speaker 3: his magic parasol and then just going through the door.
Speaker 3: And in this house, some children wake up and they
Speaker 3: sneak out to get a glimpse of Santa. But Santa
Speaker 3: throws Merlin's magic sedative dust at them and it makes
Speaker 3: them go back to sleep. In fact, not just go
Speaker 3: back to sleep, it makes them collapse face down on
Speaker 3: their blankets. So it's strong stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, essentially, you have two entities here that
Speaker 1: each have like Infinity Stone level powers, but the nature
Speaker 1: of their attacks are are fairly whimsical.
Speaker 3: Yes. At the next house comes up with a plan.
Speaker 3: He says he's going to immolate Santa Claus with a
Speaker 3: blast of fire from the fireplace as he's coming down
Speaker 3: the chimney. Fortunately, Santa only gets a bit scorched on
Speaker 3: the haunches. He's still alive, but since Santa can't come
Speaker 3: down the chimney, he goes down and again comes in
Speaker 3: through the front door. And here Pitch pulls a home
Speaker 3: alone and uses his demon breath to heat up the
Speaker 3: door knob until it glows red. But Santa outwits the
Speaker 3: devil again. Instead of going through the front door, he
Speaker 3: sneaks in through a window, sneaks in behind Pitch, and
Speaker 3: then shoots Pitch in the buttocks with a toy cannon
Speaker 3: that launches darts. Is this a real toy, Santa? I
Speaker 3: question what you were giving to the children.
Speaker 1: I mean, this was nineteen fifty nine, so it's sam
Speaker 1: Maybe so, but it does seem extraordinarily dangerous. But the
Speaker 1: real lesson is you can't home alone, Santa Claus. He
Speaker 1: will always out home alone, you like he practically invented
Speaker 1: home aloney.
Speaker 3: Yes, he does usually get the better of Pitch, though
Speaker 3: there is one scene coming up where Pitch will at
Speaker 3: least temporarily get the better of him. We'll get to
Speaker 3: that in just a minute. So next we check in
Speaker 3: on the good little rich boy. You know, he's home alone.
Speaker 3: His parents are out clubbing. They're out going to the
Speaker 3: night club and the restaurants, and he wanders around the
Speaker 3: halls of his big house lonely, and the narrator tells
Speaker 3: us that even though he has all the toys he
Speaker 3: could ever dream of, he's poor at heart because he
Speaker 3: doesn't have his parents home with him and Santa he
Speaker 3: like falls asleep in a chair, and then Santa causes
Speaker 3: the little boy to quote awaken while he is dreaming. Oh,
Speaker 3: and he explains that the boy's parents love him, even
Speaker 3: though he and his parents don't understand each other. Then
Speaker 3: we cut to the little rich boy's parents out at
Speaker 3: a fancy restaurant. Again. This is like, I guess, supposed
Speaker 3: to be midnight on Christmas Eve, and we see a
Speaker 3: disembodied hand bring a tray over to their table with
Speaker 3: two cocktails on the tray, and the cocktails are emitting
Speaker 3: some kind of gas or fog, and the mother says,
Speaker 3: that's a strange cocktail, and then the waiter says, in
Speaker 3: Santa voice, it is the cocktail of remembrance, which only
Speaker 3: I can prepare. Whoever drinks it will think of that
Speaker 3: which is most dear, and which, at times, for some
Speaker 3: unknown reason, we seem to forget, and then the waiter
Speaker 3: gives a speech about how the greatest reward for giving
Speaker 3: love is love itself and then concludes with, so drink
Speaker 3: my cocktail and you will become aware of that love
Speaker 3: which is closest to your hearts. And the mother says,
Speaker 3: and those without love, he says, they couldn't drink this
Speaker 3: cocktail as it would burn their throats. So he's doing
Speaker 3: a great job of upselling it. And then they just
Speaker 3: like grab the glasses and have a little chug.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's only a little different than any
Speaker 1: other cocktail.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so they're like, oh, wow, wait a minute,
Speaker 3: I want to be home with our child, and they
Speaker 3: have the sudden urge to go home and see their son,
Speaker 3: who is finally revealed is named Billy. I think this
Speaker 3: is the first time we hear his name, So they
Speaker 3: go home to him. Up next, more tricks. Pitch first
Speaker 3: of all, convinces the three naughty little boys who wanted
Speaker 3: to capture Santa Claus to injure him with a trip wire,
Speaker 3: but they fail at this. Santa I can't tell exactly
Speaker 3: what he sort of like hits them with a stun
Speaker 3: grenade like some kind of bright flash goes off around
Speaker 3: them and they are I don't know, they fail at
Speaker 3: trying to trip him. But then right after this, they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: that was Santa, so he's been here. Let's go see
Speaker 3: what toys he brought us. And they each get an
Speaker 3: old show and you know, because they're not gonna get
Speaker 3: anything because they've been bad, and Pitch then tricks them
Speaker 3: into fighting each other and at least here's one win
Speaker 3: for Pitch. He says, Lucifer will be very pleased at
Speaker 3: the way they are fighting.
Speaker 1: I like this scene too. This is another one of
Speaker 1: those scenes where I feel like, I think the music
Speaker 1: gets a little creepier and yeah, it's like it shows that,
Speaker 1: you know, like the devil doesn't really have any favorites
Speaker 1: and when he's done with you, he's just going to
Speaker 1: use you against each other. All he wants is your misery.
Speaker 1: And so some nice villain work here from Pitch.
Speaker 3: So after this, Pitch tries to steal Santa's sleigh, but
Speaker 3: that doesn't work. I think Santa has like some biometric
Speaker 3: security protocols in place, so Pitch can't make the reindeer go.
Speaker 3: But even though he can't steal the sleigh, he still
Speaker 3: causes more mischief. He manages to puncture Santa's wizard bag
Speaker 3: so all of the magic powder leaks out, so now
Speaker 3: Santa can't put anyone to sleep, and he also causes
Speaker 3: Santa to drop the flower to disappear. So at the
Speaker 3: next house, Santa is going in through you know, he's
Speaker 3: going it's like a big, you know, mansion and a compound.
Speaker 3: And Santa goes in through the gate and he is
Speaker 3: attacked by a guard dog. And at first he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: this will be fine. I will use my Merlin tools,
Speaker 3: but he doesn't have any, you know, His powder's all gone.
Speaker 3: His flower to disappear is gone, so he has no
Speaker 3: choice but to climb a tree and hide from the dog.
Speaker 3: And the dog is at the base the tree barking
Speaker 3: at him. So he's just stuck there and the devil
Speaker 3: taunts him. Pitch explains that he will cause mischief by
Speaker 3: speaking to people through their imagination while Santa is stuck
Speaker 3: there in the tree. And then I laugh out loud
Speaker 3: moment for me, Santa in the tree yelling to the
Speaker 3: sky Merlin key man.
Speaker 1: This sequence is great because on one hand, it's just
Speaker 1: so ridiculous we've built up to the point in this
Speaker 1: movie where Santa is treed by a dog. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: all Christmas is threatened because of it. And yet at
Speaker 1: the same time it's kind of interesting, and you know,
Speaker 1: we have this kind of close proximity between Santa and
Speaker 1: God and this film the Christian God, and yes, and
Speaker 1: here he is stuck up in a tree, almost kind
Speaker 1: of an odentic figure in the same way you know
Speaker 1: that Odin dies in the Great World Tree and you know,
Speaker 1: reminds us a little bit of certain things in Christian
Speaker 1: iconography as well, though not necessarily in an intentional way.
Speaker 1: But if you really want to read a lot into it,
Speaker 1: perhaps you could play with that idea.
Speaker 3: That Santa is being crucified upon the tree.
Speaker 1: But yeah, whilst the devil mocks.
Speaker 3: Him, yes, exactly. So Pitch gets up to all kinds
Speaker 3: of trouble while Santa is stuck. He goes inside and
Speaker 3: convinces the family that there is an assassin outside in
Speaker 3: the tree, and so all the family they get woken
Speaker 3: up and start gathering weapons that the father in the
Speaker 3: family is hilariously cowardly. He also Pitch contrives to have
Speaker 3: all of the police and fire department summoned like, he
Speaker 3: calls up the fire department and causes flames to come
Speaker 3: out of the speaker of the phone at the fire
Speaker 3: department end, so they're like, Wow, that place must really
Speaker 3: be on fire, so they're going to send a fire engine. Meanwhile,
Speaker 3: at Lupita's home, Pitch goes there and whispers despair into
Speaker 3: the ear of sleeping Lupita. He says, you'll never get
Speaker 3: a doll, You'll never get anything you want. Santa has
Speaker 3: abandoned you. And then the last line of his speech
Speaker 3: is you are poor. Then back at the house where
Speaker 3: Santa is stuck, the police and the fire department around
Speaker 3: the way, we hear the sirens coming, and the whole
Speaker 3: family has woken up and armed themselves, and they're going
Speaker 3: outside to investigate, and the devil taunts Santa, telling him
Speaker 3: that he will be caught by the police, trapped on Earth,
Speaker 3: unable to fly back to space, and that in this
Speaker 3: state he will starve to death, and his reindeer will
Speaker 3: turn to dust, and Satan will rule the planet Earth.
Speaker 1: And now how does that last part? That's a line
Speaker 1: in the film where I feel like, WHOA. There's a
Speaker 1: lot more on the line. Here than I thought.
Speaker 3: But in the end Santa's prayers are answered. Pedro and
Speaker 3: Merlin come to the rescue. Pedro figures out what is happening.
Speaker 3: As usual, he's the one on the ball, he's the
Speaker 3: you know, he's the chief of staff. He gets everything fixed.
Speaker 3: So he gets Merlin to come to the observatory and
Speaker 3: then they communicate with Merlin by like Rline communicates with
Speaker 3: Santa Claus by talking into a microphone, and Santa communicates
Speaker 3: with Merlin just by shouting into the sky. So he says,
Speaker 3: they've got me in a tree. Merlin, I dropped to
Speaker 3: the flower to disappear, and also the powder for dreaming,
Speaker 3: and now this beast won't let me down. All of
Speaker 3: this prepared by mister Pitch. So it looks like Santa's
Speaker 3: goose is cooked. You know, the police are coming. How's
Speaker 3: he going to get out of this jam? Well, Merlin
Speaker 3: thinks up a clever idea. Merlin's thinking, how do you
Speaker 3: stop a mad dog? And he has an ingenious solution.
Speaker 3: He says, a cat. So he convinces Santa to distract
Speaker 3: the dog with a wind up toy cat from his
Speaker 3: bag of gifts, and Santa does this the police arrive,
Speaker 3: the heavily armed family there outside. They get sprayed but
Speaker 3: with water by the fire department, which is fire department
Speaker 3: seems fairly bumbling. The firefighters are going around trying to
Speaker 3: find the fire, and eventually they do come upon a
Speaker 3: cloud of smoke and they spray it with their hose,
Speaker 3: but of course the smoke is just coming off of Pitch.
Speaker 3: He's a devil, and I guess sometimes he emits smoke
Speaker 3: and he gets drenched too.
Speaker 1: Serves him right, serves him right, for all this despair
Speaker 1: he's trying to spread.
Speaker 3: But Santa has escaped, and you know, so Merlin tells him,
Speaker 3: you're out of time. You've got to come back to
Speaker 3: the Crystal Palace at once. The sun's about to come up,
Speaker 3: but no, Santa says he has one more friend to
Speaker 3: visit before he leaves Earth, and then he shouts at
Speaker 3: the sky to Merlin, I'll see you later, if possible.
Speaker 3: Who's it going to be? Of course it is the
Speaker 3: most perfect child who ever lived, Lupita. And so somehow
Speaker 3: the Flower to Disappear has fallen into Lupita's house and
Speaker 3: we see Lupita's in bed. Her father comes home, Lupita's
Speaker 3: mother lets him inside and she says, did you find
Speaker 3: any work? And he's dejected and he says, nothing, my dear, nothing,
Speaker 3: And I like, on one hand the scene is like
Speaker 3: there's great pathos and it works, but on the other hand,
Speaker 3: it's like, wait, he was out looking for work in
Speaker 3: the dark before sun rise on cre Ristmas Day.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they're kind of laying it on a bit
Speaker 1: thick perhaps.
Speaker 3: But Lupita wakes up. She tells her mother that she
Speaker 3: has dreamed of Santa Claus, that he left her a
Speaker 3: dolly out on the patio, and her mother tells her
Speaker 3: go back to sleep, but Lupita goes to check and
Speaker 3: there it is. There really is a doll, and it's huge.
Speaker 3: It's like almost the same size as Lupita, and Lupita's
Speaker 3: parents are amazed. Her mother makes the sign of the Cross,
Speaker 3: and Lupita looks out the window and begins praying to
Speaker 3: Santa Claus, and we see the sleigh making the journey
Speaker 3: back through outer space, and the narrator tells us that
Speaker 3: once again, Santa Claus returns to his palace from his
Speaker 3: yearly Christmas rounds. He is happy and gay for once
Speaker 3: again he has brought joy to the children of the world,
Speaker 3: and we get a sort of title card at the
Speaker 3: end that said, Blessed are those who believe, for they
Speaker 3: shall see God, peace on earth, goodwill toward men. So
Speaker 3: sidestepping some of the hard issues with magic, as we've said,
Speaker 3: but also it's a sweet ending. And and I guess
Speaker 3: what is the last thing we see of Pitch. The
Speaker 3: last thing is he just gets sprayed with water.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, there's no scene where he actually
Speaker 1: has to go back to Hell and eat ice cream,
Speaker 1: but you know, he's roundly defeated. It does seem like
Speaker 1: maybe he should have had a little bit more of
Speaker 1: a comeupance there than just getting a bit wet because
Speaker 1: he was he was setting up the public murder of
Speaker 1: Santa Claus.
Speaker 3: Here, that's right. Yeah, and he got really close to
Speaker 3: having Satan rule over the earth.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean, I guess it. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of authors have explored this. I mean, the
Speaker 1: holidays have their roots and very old traditions that you
Speaker 1: know are about you know, the dying of the earth
Speaker 1: during the winter and the resurgence of the world in
Speaker 1: the springtime, and that this is a threshold you have
Speaker 1: to cross, and you know there's a certain amount of
Speaker 1: sacrifice wound up in all of this, so you know
Speaker 1: it's not completely out of character, but they do start
Speaker 1: laying on just how dire the situation is right at
Speaker 1: the end where it's like, oh yeah, if Santa goes,
Speaker 1: Satan rules the world, like it's the end of it everything.
Speaker 3: And thus concludes the tale of Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: What is the sense of it? Tremendously fun holiday picture,
Speaker 1: Like I say this and Santa Claus Congress the Martians
Speaker 1: set the bar. There are other weird holiday films out there,
Speaker 1: but you you, you almost can't consider any of them
Speaker 1: except in comparison to these pictures. Yeah, and I wish
Speaker 1: we could have had a crossover with the two Santas.
Speaker 1: They're both excellent Santa Clauses or pitch. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: so many ways you could go.
Speaker 3: But Dropo wasn't A wasn't really the villain. What's the
Speaker 3: villain in Santa Claus Congress the Martians? The guy with
Speaker 3: the mustache, Oh, oh goodness, I forgetting his name. I
Speaker 3: want to say Zoltar or something Boldar, something like that, Voldar, Voldar.
Speaker 1: That's it. Voldar. Yeah, don't forget Winky and choke him.
Speaker 3: Okay, I think that's it for today.
Speaker 1: All Right, we're gonna go ahead and close out this
Speaker 1: holiday episode, but we hope you enjoyed it as much
Speaker 1: as we did. The Santa Claus Conquers the Martian episode
Speaker 1: will also rerun over the next couple of weeks if
Speaker 1: you haven't listened to that one, or if you want
Speaker 1: to listen to it again. If you want to keep
Speaker 1: up with the movies we've covered on Weird House Cinema,
Speaker 1: and in some cases we want to get a hint
Speaker 1: of what's coming up next, we can go over to
Speaker 1: letterbox dot com. It's l E T T e r
Speaker 1: box d dot com. We are a weird house on there,
Speaker 1: and we have a nice list prepared of all the
Speaker 1: movies we've covered so far. We're primarily a science podcast
Speaker 1: on stuff to blow your mind, with core episodes on
Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Thursdays, but on Fridays we set aside most
Speaker 1: serious concerns to just talk about a weird movie here
Speaker 1: on Weird House Cinema.
Speaker 3: Here's thanks, as always to our excellent audio producer Jjposway.
Speaker 3: If you would like to get in touch with us
Speaker 3: with feedback on this episode or any other, to suggest
Speaker 3: a topic for the future, or just to say hello.
Speaker 3: You can email us at contact at stuff to Blow
Speaker 3: your Mind dot com.
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