WEBVTT - Another Mountain 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:06.440 A mindset shift is when you change your thinking or 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:10.520 the way you think about something to get in alignment 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.920 with accomplishing a goal. That's a mindset shift, or accomplishing 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:19.040 some sort of achievement. That's a mindset shift. And it's 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:23.480 possible to do that. That's a very possible thing to do, 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:28.600 but in order to do that, you have to you 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:31.240 have to change. In order to do that, you have 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.680 to process new information. In order to do that, you 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:40.120 have to commit to achieving an outcome. An easy example 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:43.440 for me to describe this is if there's a goal 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:46.559 I'm trying to accomplish, like weight loss, right, I'd like 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:50.680 to lose weight, I have to change my mindset on 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:53.519 how I view food. I have to start viewing food 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:57.440 as a source of energy and nutrition instead of taste 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:00.520 and flavor. If I eat just because I like the 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:03.960 taste and flavor, I'm very likely to continue to experience 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:08.320 weight issues. But if I change my mindset about this 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:11.839 to like this is how I get nutrition and energy 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.960 into my body, then I start making different choices. So 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:17.680 that's a mindset shift, And in order to do that, 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:20.880 you just have to commit to the process and you 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:24.160 have to take on new information and allow that to 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:38.360 impact how you think. Welcome back to family Therapy. I'm 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:42.399 your host, Elliott Connie. What's been better since you listened 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:46.000 to the previous episode? Once again, this is a very 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:50.200 important aspect of solution focused brief therapy where I want 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:52.880 you to focus on things that are getting better. So 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:56.960 we're going to always ask ourselves that question. It's very 0:01:57.000 --> 0:02:02.280 important that you are able to gauge your progress towards 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:06.680 a goal, because if you don't do that, then every 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:12.200 step feels like failure. Like if you don't gauge how 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:16.720 much you're progressing towards an outcome, then every day you're 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:21.440 not at your outcome feels like failure. But if you 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:25.280 are able to gauge your progress towards that outcome, then 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:28.920 every day feels like a micro achievement on your way 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:32.320 to the macro achievement. So that's why I always ask 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:35.760 my questions where they are on a scale from zero 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:39.800 to ten, because it helps them to gauge. I might 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:43.560 not be at ten, but I'm no longer at zero, 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:49.960 and that changes the feeling of failure to feeling of success. 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:55.160 A comfort zone is exactly as it sounds. It's a 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:59.120 place where you feel most comfortable. But it's actually the 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:02.240 enemy of six And the reason it's the enemy of 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:08.480 success is because we seek out comfort without thinking about 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:12.880 whether or not comfort is healthy or not. Comfort is 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:16.040 just what I'm most familiar with. So if you grew 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.400 up in an environment where there's lots of drugs and alcohol, 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:21.440 that becomes your comfort zone. That's what you're most familiar with. 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:24.040 We don't think about whether it's good for us or not. 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:28.000 We just think that it's comfortable for us. And when 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:34.320 we make changes, changes are always uncomfortable. Even really positive 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:38.000 changes are uncomfortable. And what ends up happening to people 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:40.920 is they want to grow and change and become the 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:44.760 better version of themselves. But change leads to uncomfort and 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:48.000 then people recoil back to the comfort zone. That's why 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.640 comfort zones are very crippling and they become a hindrance 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:55.480 towards people changing and becoming successful. And it's why if 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:59.280 you want to change, grow and progress, you have to 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:04.960 get comfort. Being uncomfortable, you cannot have a proper mindset 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:10.320 shift while being in the comfort zone. A mindset shift 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:16.720 will always trigger uncomfort. Today is spent directly focusing with 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:20.320 David who seems to have completely shifted his energy and 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:35.880 is motivated towards change. So, David, what's been better since 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:36.640 we last. 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:40.840 Thought staying consistent with certain things? Added something else so 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:43.239 I could get consistent with That's what's been better? 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:44.799 You added something else? 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:48.360 Yeah, just something else that I you know, and it's 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:53.320 I mean, it's small, it's more for me. Just every morning. 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:55.159 I used to wake up and do my push ups. 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.640 So I started that last week. Oh so every morning, 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.800 every morning I wake up up, when I get out 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.400 the shower and do all my stuff, I do my 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:06.400 setup push ups. So I was like, I got to 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:08.760 start doing that again. I used to do it all 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:13.200 the time, like all the time. So I just I'm 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.360 just you know, I've been reading some stuff, listening to 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:17.520 some audios, and it was like I just got to 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:21.880 start creating, getting more discipline, getting my discipline back. I 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.039 was like, I'm gonna start with this. Yeah, I'm gonna 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:25.880 start with this. So that's been good. 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.360 What made you bring that back? Like, at what point 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:31.920 did you decide I gotta bring this back? 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:36.760 Well, just with you know, the last couple of sessions 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:40.279 things how I want to start moving forward And I 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:44.200 always been health conscious, like, you know, I try to 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:48.120 eat good, I take my supplements. I'm not really a 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.640 big gym guy. If I could work out at home, 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.000 like I will go to the gym, but if I 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:54.520 could work out at home, because now don't got to 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:56.479 pay for no membership, I do it at home. So 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:59.520 I was like, David, know what, start doing your push 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:02.560 ups again, start doing your push ups. Yeah. So I 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:05.320 just I just started when I told myself that, and 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.080 it was like in the middle of the day, I 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:10.040 just got down, did my push ups. And then I say, 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:13.479 every morning, wake up, no matter what, I'm gonna do 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:16.240 my push ups, every morning, doing my push ups. 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:18.680 I love that. What else have you noticed yourself being 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:19.480 consistent with. 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:25.240 The way I respond, the way I'm not getting upset 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:28.599 at certain things like at word, you know, at home, 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:33.640 just just controlling myself more, you know, thinking about my 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:37.360 response before I even say it. Stop not worrying about 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.120 the little stuff. If I if it's out of my 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.120 controlers out of my control. If I only could do 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:42.960 what I can do, then I'm gonna do what I 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.200 can do. And this the rest is just you know, 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:47.320 it is what it is. Leave it in God's hands 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:50.839 or and that's it said, I've just been trying to 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.200 shift my mind in my thinking and get back to 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:55.479 like it used to be right when I and I 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:58.760 and when I sit back and reflect, when I was 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.839 in that free and see and I had that energy, 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:05.240 it just felt different. And then things that just started 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.800 falling into place. So that's what that's the frequency I'm 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:10.680 trying to get back to and the energy I need 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:11.000 to have. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:15.080 I love that. And what have you noticed as you've 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:18.400 been doing these consistent things, what have you noticed about 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:19.680 the difference it's making for. 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:25.800 You smiling more, you know, just feeling good. It's got 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:27.520 a different like it's like you know when you got 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.880 on a new suit or new clothes, like, or you 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:31.720 know you got some money in your pocket, you just 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:36.080 walk different, right, I just I just yeah. So it's 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:39.400 just like that's what I noticed the most, right, So 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.880 I got to notice the change in me the most. Right. 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:45.360 It's not a big change yet, but it's a slow 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:48.360 it's a slow change, and it's changing because of some 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:53.720 of the things that I'm implementing into the change. Like, 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.200 like I said, I dropped my son off, I listened 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.680 to one of my audios. It's either Eric Thomas or 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.760 Less Brown listen to that for about twenty thirty minutes 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:04.640 just to get some positive stuff, like you know, all 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:09.040 positive radio, no ESPN radio, none of that, you know, 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:13.760 not eager. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I've been 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:17.200 doing lately. And I noticed I'm starting to notice the 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:20.520 difference even the performance at work, right because it been 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:25.280 a situation, something happened. Everybody like, oh god, sorry, I said, No, 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:27.000 I don't feel sorry. I said, I did everything I 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:30.160 could do, right, I ain't. I ain't sorry about it. 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.920 It's gonna come back. And then with having that approach 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.440 because that's what I used to say all the time 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.080 when I was at my other job, having that approach, 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:40.960 and what happened. It came right back, different customer, It 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:43.760 came right back, just like that. So I was like, 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:46.559 see it came back. Can't be mad, you can't dwell 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:48.360 on it. It's over with, it's done. You know, did 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.560 everything in your power right, helped them try, you know, 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:54.920 made the phone calls. It's just not working. Got to 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:56.920 move on. And that's what I did. 0:08:57.480 --> 0:08:59.920 Man. That's how different is this from the way you 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:01.439 were recently? 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:05.200 You know, Oh, it's a big difference. It's a big 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:08.880 difference a couple of months ago, even a few few 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:11.599 weeks ago. Let's start, we could go December or November 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:17.280 like it's a it's like night and day pretty much. Yeah, 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.080 it's not the same, David. I don't care what nobody 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.720 else say. I know and I feel it's not the same, David. 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:26.360 So yeah, man, I love that. 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:30.199 Okay. So what what are you hoping you could get 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.439 from me today that would help you stay on this path? 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:37.240 You? No, I don't know, man. You know, I'm used 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.560 like the last two sessions, like everything that you was 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:43.959 bringing to the table and you know, and what we 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:49.440 was discussing was awesome. So I'm like, I look forward 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:53.280 to the sessions and everything. So I whatever you have 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:56.160 up your sleeve, I think I'm ready for it. 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.360 Well, all right, let me ask you, like, okay, so 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.240 let me ask you this. On a scale of zero 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:05.600 to ten, ten is you are the absolute best version 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:09.400 of yourself and zero is the exact opposite. Where would 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.720 you say you were a few weeks and months ago? 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:15.120 Probably like a one. 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.920 Okay, And where would you say you are today? 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:24.120 Honestly, still got a lot of work to do, probably 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:27.079 like a three? And a half almost four. 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:30.080 Three and a half almost four. Okay, if you woke 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.800 up tomorrow and instead of a three and a half 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:36.240 almost four, you were like a four and a half 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.000 almost five, how would you notice it? What would be 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:42.080 a clue to you that it has gone up just 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:43.560 a bit, Like you can go all the way up 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.000 to ten, but it just grat it's just a little 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:47.840 bit ticked up the scale. How would you notice it? 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:50.240 To be honest, I think it had to be a 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:53.680 few days in a row, right, because, like I said, 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:57.760 I'm trying to build consistency, Like that's one of the 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:00.240 things that I need to get back, being consistent out 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:04.160 certain things, you know, building that discipline. So I think 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:07.200 I need a Today is Wednesday, so I will probably 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.880 need like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and I'll be like, okay, 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:14.680 all right, here we at? This is what okay, David? Yeah, 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.200 So I think it would take more than you know, 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:24.400 me betting off of work, going home and waking up tomorrow. 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:26.000 I'm like, okay, I'm at a four and a half. 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.080 I got to get out of my comfort zone. And 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.040 that's why I'm trying to create. And that was one 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:34.400 of the things I listened to with Les Brown. Get 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.000 out your comfort zone. You gotta get out your comfort zone. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.360 That's one of the things that Jay said this before 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.600 you know said this. She said, David, the reason he's 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:46.360 still with Nicky at Ferromre is because he's comfortable there. 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:49.760 And it's like he's comfortable. He's aweso maddic. He says 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.800 that he's comfortable. Right, it's so many other things that 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:54.760 he could be doing. He says he's comfortable with it. 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:57.160 He could do it with his eyes closed. To sit 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:02.640 there and ask me anything about out furniture size. I 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:04.719 don't have to come to your house and I can 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:06.920 ask you certain questions and I can size up your 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:09.040 what you need in your basement or what you need 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.040 in your living room or something like that. And I 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.280 never saw your home. I don't need to look at pictures. 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:16.160 I just know what questions I ask you. That's how 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:20.040 that's that's how detail and how long I've been doing it, 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:23.800 and I know what I'm doing and I'm comfortable with it, 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.840 like talking about stuff like that. And she said, and 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.880 that's one of the biggest things. And I noticed that too, Right, 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:31.320 If I want to spend more time, more time with 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.800 my boys. If I want to increase income to do 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.120 other things, I got to get out of my comfort zone. 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:42.120 So yeah, man, I have so many questions. My first 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.000 question is you brought up Jake. Has she noticed the 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.440 growth from like feeling like you're at a one on 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:50.640 that scale to being another three point five maybe before. 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:55.120 I don't know, not that it's about her totally, but 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:58.280 I'm just curious if she's noticed and she's around. 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:06.719 You, I don't know. Then as I really don't know, 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.160 I don't know. I think it's at the point she 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:13.440 may think it's little. I think it's a it's a 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:15.800 bigger step for me. I think it's gonna take a 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:20.800 little bit more for her to respond, like verbally respond 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:24.800 on certain things. So and I'm comfortable with that. I'm 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:27.800 cool with that, Like it's not like I don't look 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.280 at that, like, oh, she's not noticing that. She didn't 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.800 give me no validation though, because it's some things that 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:35.679 I need to do that must be done, but it's 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:37.839 certain little steps I need to take so I can 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.280 get to that. And that's what I'm trying to create 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.640 and trying to build so I can get to that point. 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:45.600 Right, And what if your boys noticed. 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:48.600 Well, they're still young, so you know, it's Daddy all 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.640 the time. If my daughter was living with me, she 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:55.119 could probably she'll probably have a better cause he's sixteen. 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:58.040 Even if she was twelve, she probably could relate a 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:00.319 message a little bit more though. But I just I 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.439 don't know what. I don't know what is God say. 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.320 I really don't Isaiah. This thing everything Dad does, Oh 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:09.800 Dad is cool. We get in my car, I listened 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:12.600 to music. I got the whole backseat to myself. And 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.480 you know, I'm gonna brush my teeth when he brush 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.720 his teeth. You know what I'm saying. I don't like Daddy. 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:20.720 I don't like you putting Vassilina on my face. Your 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:25.880 hand's not soft like Mommy's, like you know, little stuff 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:27.920 like like you know, and that just cracks me up. 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.400 Like I like, listen, if you can see me around 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:35.200 my boys, man like it's like it don't matter what's 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:39.400 going on, right, No matter what's going on, my boys 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.080 bring me joy. All my kids do. As I said, 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:45.840 My daughter lives in Florida, Like even when my mom passed, right, 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:50.240 it was a blessing that I had my sons there, Like, 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:54.000 especially the guy because they kids and it is being theyself. 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.600 They want hundred percent organic, and it just it just 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:01.840 helped with the process. Yeah, it really helped with the process. Yeah. 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:05.400 And so those my guys, you know, and Isaiah loved 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.400 hanging out like like I said, man, like, you know, 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:10.760 me and him hang out at the barbershop. Like that's 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:17.560 his thing. He's Friday. Come oh, man, me and him 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:21.119 at the barbershop last Friday. I forgot to make my appointment. 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.120 I thought I did. Picked him up from afteric. Here 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.880 we there at six o'clock barber My guy, it's a 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.600 very good friend of mine, he said, Dave, I don't 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.200 think he may appointment. He looked at it, he said 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:34.000 he didn't. He was like, can you come back at nine? 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:36.080 And that's Friday. I got a five year old. I 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.280 was like, nine, I could come back at ten o'clock 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.320 if I have to. So I say, you know what, 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:45.560 I said, Isaiah, you ready to go? He was like, nah, Dad, 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.560 I could say. I got my tablet the music. 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.600 He said, no, I don't want to go. 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.160 I said, all right, I said, you're hungry. Yeah. When 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:56.800 next door got him some food, he ate and we 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.200 just hung out in the barbershop until like eight o'clock. 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:00.720 He got in a chair and I got in the chair. 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:04.160 He was playing cars. He high five in everybody, high 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.640 five in me and didn't get in the cart Dawn. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:11.840 That was the best act for so much fun. So 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:17.000 and I always I always said, I can't wait until 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:18.480 I have boys so I could take him to the 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:21.560 barbershop with me. Like that's just some of the things, 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:23.360 like I can't wait till I teach him. I'm teaching 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.920 them a little bit how to tie tie and stuff 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:27.920 like that, but I couldn't wait to take them to 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:32.240 the barbershop with Like I think that's you got a son, 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:34.800 you need them take them to the barbershop. Which is 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.760 just a difference. Mom can't do it. And I see women, 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.680 you know whatever the situation is bringing their son to 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:44.120 the barbershop. But I'd rather it be mean, like we're 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.520 not missing it. Yeah, I rather it be mean. So 0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:49.840 you know that's that's me and his time, his little brother. 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.800 He really can't go. That's why I try not to 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:56.240 go home and then bring Isaiah because Zeke know now 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:57.720 when we leave the house and he want to he 0:16:57.760 --> 0:16:59.800 want to go with the boys. I want to go 0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:02.320 with boys, how you want to go with dad? You know, 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:04.080 because he's starting to you know, he's starting to be 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.240 more aware of things. So but yeah, it's a beautiful thing. 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:09.200 And I told him, I was like, say, he's when 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.280 he comes to the barbershop, how to hang out and 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.720 how to act in the barbershop. He said, yeah, Daddy, 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.920 I'm gona shown. I got I'm shown. I'm like this. God, 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.080 he's only five years old though, but he's a good 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:22.439 big brother. They good together. They good together. 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:29.360 That's amazing. And another thing you mentioned like at work, well, 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.439 you mentioned a couple of things that all kind of 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.280 said the same thing, Like Jay said, like David's just 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:39.280 comfortable less Brown talking about like you gotta be uncomfortable 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:41.920 and you could kind of do your job in your 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:47.880 sleep if you really embrace this, like make yourself uncomfortable mentality, 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.239 Where do you hope it takes you? Even professionally, Like 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:53.640 where do you where do you hope this journey takes. 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:57.200 You top of the mountain, top of the mountain. If 0:17:57.240 --> 0:18:02.399 I make myself uncomfortable and I transition into higher ticket sales, 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:06.880 it's over with, like because it's it's it's too many, 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:11.200 too many people I meet, uh customers that come into 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:19.119 the building. Family like David, you need I it is 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.560 time to throw the talent with with with furniture. It's 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:24.520 like you got to go to a higher ticket item 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:28.080 and you'll do very well. Like and Jay told me 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.560 this multiple times. It's like she's not gonna tell me 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.320 no more. She's to the point now she needs to 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:34.760 see it and then she's gonna be like high five, 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:39.879 I told you see see you see like not like 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:43.640 not like I told you, but you see right yeah, 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:45.560 And I and I think that's what it is, right, 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:48.720 So it's it's definitely time for that change. Especially I 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:53.280 can't want to have more time with my boys. I 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:59.000 can't want to make more income, right, I can't want 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:02.119 like I'm tired of doing this. And it's like a 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:05.640 it is what it is with that if and don't 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:09.480 make a change. So will it be a little bit uncomfortable, yes, 0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:14.440 will it hurt for a second, absolutely right, But will 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:17.719 I get through it? One hundred and twenty percent. And 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.240 I'm confident that I'm gonna get through it. So that's 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:23.880 back going to lighting that fire. You know, fire is burning, 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:26.359 you know, I know I got mom and sis looking 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:28.159 over me, and they know I could do it. You 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:29.439 know what I'm saying, It's it's time for me to 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:31.280 do it. It's no more talking. It's just time for 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:33.479 me to go ahead and just do it, Like you know, 0:19:33.680 --> 0:19:37.960 I gotta it. Got to a point like I'm the asset, right, 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:41.560 So I'm the asset. I'm the one that's thriving in store. 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:44.200 So I need to get up out of here right 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:46.320 because it's not what I want to do no more. 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:49.199 Once the passion is gone and you don't want to 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:51.040 do it no more, then it's like all right it 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:55.119 is it's like, ah whatever. When I get to that, 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:57.800 And when I first started in this game, like it 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:00.639 wasn't like that, Like you couldn't pull me from the store. 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:04.840 Jaylen could call me right now and say she locked 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:07.040 herself out the house. I'll leave to go open up 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:12.040 the door, and I know where the spirit key is at. Yeah, 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:14.240 it's it's like that now, Like you know what I'm saying, 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:17.040 you couldn't pull me from the store. Like I worked 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:20.680 New Year's Day ten year street well nine years straight. Wow, 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:24.639 last two weeks ago last New Year's at this passed, 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:31.959 I called out, Wow, what what is higher ticket sales. 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:34.760 Like what what like real estate? 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:38.239 Oh yeah, I really want to get into the real 0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:42.200 estate market, Like I really want to get dealing with relatives. 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:46.199 And I'm like, yo, he's not even sales. This is 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:50.600 their thing with sales, right, It's the same foundation with sales. 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:53.800 It's just a different product. Right. So that's why when 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:57.320 I meet other salespeople or and they selling something else, 0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:00.560 I know when they missing a step, when they're not 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:03.040 asking the right questions. Now. I don't got to know 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:05.560 one hundred percent about this industry though, but I know 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:10.040 the foundation the selves. Once you master that craft, it 0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:12.880 doesn't matter, right, because you got to learn the product. 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:15.040 So if I learned the product, if it was a vehicle, 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.720 if it's a home or an apartment, whatever the case 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:20.560 may be, then I take the skill set that I'm 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:23.760 a master and now implement it. Right. So you gotta 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:26.240 have personality, You gotta know what you're talking about. You 0:21:26.320 --> 0:21:29.639 gotta be confident, right, you got to be punctual and 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.280 things of that nature. And you can't be afraid to 0:21:32.480 --> 0:21:36.359 ask the hard questions, right, you can't be afraid. And 0:21:36.840 --> 0:21:38.840 money not gonna impress me. I don't care if you're 0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:41.000 a millionaire or whatever. I got friends, I got a 0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:43.920 lot of money, right, and I sat down with NFL owners, 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:46.879 So I don't care. None of that is going to 0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:50.439 distract me and going into your wallet and getting your money. 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:54.480 So if you if you keep being uncomfortable and keep 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:58.520 progressing and start selling things like cars, apartments or homes, 0:21:58.760 --> 0:22:01.159 that's more in line with the David you want to be. 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:04.919 Is that right? Yep? Because it's going to create a 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:08.000 good income. It's going to free up my time, right 0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:12.080 that I can spend with my family. Okay, the one 0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:14.359 thing about the industry I'm in now, it takes a 0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:17.119