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Speaker 1: Ay kity misconnections. That was me staring there's only two

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Speaker 1: places to find true love in this world. One was

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Speaker 1: at your own sixth birthday party when the magician pulled

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Speaker 1: out his special wand and made your daddy disappear. What

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Speaker 1: the hell I'm worried. Yeah, it's the best day of

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Speaker 1: my mom's life. Oh, okay it that is your mom's life.

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Speaker 1: The others on the pages of craigslist dot org. We

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Speaker 1: scoured that website every single week to find the best

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Speaker 1: misconnections they have to offer, like this one titled how

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Speaker 1: Lovers Get More Done. Hey woman for man forty five

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Speaker 1: home Depot. She says you tiny Filipino gentlemen, bright green

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Speaker 1: diamond shirt wearing oversized sunglasses and leather pants. Wow, he

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Speaker 1: has shown up with a look at home depot. If

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Speaker 1: I hadn't met you at the hardware store, I would

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Speaker 1: have thought you were playing in the World Series of Poker.

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Speaker 1: Eh me much taller than you, dark cropped, brunette hairstyle

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Speaker 1: wearing a pink jumper. Who helped you get a bird

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Speaker 1: feeder off the top shelf. He's a birdman. Even though

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Speaker 1: we were in the garden section. I could tell right

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Speaker 1: away you weren't there for the plants. I gotta say,

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Speaker 1: middle aged people meeting at home depot just makes sense

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Speaker 1: to me. At one point, you even confessed you only

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Speaker 1: go there because you quote, just like the smell of soil.

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Speaker 1: We didn't the Fertilizerah. We didn't have much time to chat.

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Speaker 1: Ale was busy Saturday crowd. But I thought you were

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Speaker 1: intriguing enough. When I suggested you actually buy a plant,

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Speaker 1: you replied, I don't believe in long term relationships with greenery.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to get a perennial man. Then just

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Speaker 1: like that, you were gone off to check out with

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Speaker 1: nothing but one sad packet of wildflower seeds, as I

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Speaker 1: was left holding your bird feeder. If you see this,

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Speaker 1: tell me what just happened. That's signed pink Jumper lady. Ah,

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Speaker 1: listen a misconnection. She's easy to find again. Yeah jump yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it sounds like she's at home deeople Oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: This next misconnection is titled when Harry Met Sweaty eh

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Speaker 1: Man for Woman thirty Jim nothing like a nineteen eighties

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Speaker 1: movie reference. He says to the girl in the red

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Speaker 1: sports bra I met at the Iron Palace on sixteenth

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Speaker 1: in Indigo last Thursday. I made a mistake. Yeah, when

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Speaker 1: you asked where the rowing machine was, I said the pool.

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Speaker 1: Ah what like he met like abu. Even though you laughed,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to be funny. Oh, it's only my

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Speaker 1: second time ever going to You told me you were

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Speaker 1: visiting from another one that was shut down because of

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Speaker 1: a Hepsey outbreak. We didn't go there anymore. We didn't

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Speaker 1: have a lot of time to get to know each

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Speaker 1: other between sets. At one point I suggested we try

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Speaker 1: the rowing machine at the same timeous flirty. I know

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Speaker 1: you said no thanks, but lucky for me, there was

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Speaker 1: a machine right next to yours. So we stroke battled

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Speaker 1: for at least two minutes until your will overpowered mind stroke.

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Speaker 1: I just imagine him being so sweaty and out of

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Speaker 1: breath next to her. Pretty long it is. I made

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Speaker 1: one last attempt at catching vibes when I told you

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Speaker 1: I know one gym that doesn't have hepsie. It's my

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Speaker 1: home gym. I'm Unfortunately you told me you couldn't that

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Speaker 1: night because your dog had worms. Then you disappeared into

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Speaker 1: the ladies locker room. I didn't you after that, even

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Speaker 1: though I had the front desk page you twice. How

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Speaker 1: it is telling a man that your dog has worms

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Speaker 1: not work? If you see this, did you go back

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Speaker 1: to your old gym? And if you did, can I

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Speaker 1: grab a visitor's pass to check it out? You're okay

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Speaker 1: with Now that's your line that's signed boot. Okay. This

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Speaker 1: next misconnection is titled family Ties and Knots Woman for

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Speaker 1: man thirty seven picnic shelter, edge of town at Starboard Park.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, really specific? The family ties has me worried? Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 1: I don't know why. Let's read it. When I first

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Speaker 1: saw you, I thought, wow, I ain't never seen somebody

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Speaker 1: that good looking at one of our family reunions. Brook,

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Speaker 1: you should call this guy back. Normally we range from

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Speaker 1: unsoughtly to full on fugly, but you way above average

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Speaker 1: and I act that are you related to this person?

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Speaker 1: Let's find out me pregnant with twins in the Ben

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Speaker 1: Roethlisberger Jersey gold Stealers. There is so much wrong with

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Speaker 1: that September you slicked back hair, ironed pants, button up

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Speaker 1: shirt like, hello, this is a family picnic, not a funeral.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to ask straight up if you was into

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Speaker 1: dating blood relatives but was too forward. Somebody do a

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Speaker 1: paternity test on those twins, please, Instead, I gave you

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Speaker 1: a test. I announced that I had to use the

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Speaker 1: porta potty and if you stood guard outside that'd mean

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Speaker 1: you loved me. What you didn't. But still I had

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Speaker 1: my on you. At one point I made you pose

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Speaker 1: for a picture and showed you you are AI generated

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Speaker 1: baby does work. I don't want to know how close

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Speaker 1: the eyes I'm gonna start doing this well. I laughed

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Speaker 1: so hard my tooth fell out on top of my brisket.

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Speaker 1: And then plot twist, you told me you weren't even family,

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Speaker 1: you were just there for the free food. Yes, hurting,

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Speaker 1: hurt a little bit. Truth is, I usually stick to

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Speaker 1: blood relatives when it comes to partners from it, but

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Speaker 1: I'd consider branching out for you also if we if

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Speaker 1: we are together, porta potty guard duty is non negotiable. Okay, times,

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Speaker 1: she's pregnant with twins, Brooks, she's got a pee a lot.

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Speaker 1: Why always import the door that signed Delta's anonymous? But

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Speaker 1: I'm behind that. This is what true love sounds like

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Speaker 1: in the modern age, Alexis, get on board. Those are

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Speaker 1: your Craigslist misconnections Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,