Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. My
Speaker 1: name is Wheezy, this girl Mandy, and we have a
Speaker 1: guest in the studio whose name I'm going to get
Speaker 1: right because it is this is so much pressure, that's
Speaker 1: so easy. Michelle mich Shelley is in the studio today.
Speaker 1: Because I was a little inspired to have all of us,
Speaker 1: not just men, but women as well, have a lot
Speaker 1: more respect for mama's I tweeted that I was on
Speaker 1: Bleaker Street going up the subway steps and this girl
Speaker 1: was carrying her baby up the stairs, and when I
Speaker 1: offered to help her, she said, I got it. Cist,
Speaker 1: these men can watch me do it by myself. She
Speaker 1: was really piste off because it was a long way up.
Speaker 1: And for those of you that live in New Yorker
Speaker 1: have seen in the news there was a woman who
Speaker 1: died recently midtown after like a stroller fell on top
Speaker 1: of her. She was carrying her child. Child lived she didn't.
Speaker 1: So I want us to all finished this hour up
Speaker 1: with a lot more respect for women helping out moms
Speaker 1: in the street with strollers. Whatever we got to do,
Speaker 1: our sisters, our moms are girlfriends, baby mamas, all of them.
Speaker 1: So let's get it started. How much blood comes out
Speaker 1: a lot? Okay, I was just kidding. Actually, let's start
Speaker 1: with Okay, we don't want to start with the book.
Speaker 1: We're gonna start slow. You don't want the nasty stuff yet, Okay,
Speaker 1: we take it easy. Listen, this is how we all
Speaker 1: got here. Technically, we need this episode, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Um, let's start with kink of the week though. Alright,
Speaker 1: so guys, we're going to start with our kink of
Speaker 1: the week. As you know, every week we bring you
Speaker 1: guys a kink. Lets you know the paraphilia and the
Speaker 1: kind of medical term of that. Um and so this
Speaker 1: week it is Zoomi tophilia or pophilia. I don't know,
Speaker 1: so Zoomi tophilia. It is another more modern fetish incarnation.
Speaker 1: I really was gonna say that different what I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, zoo my pophilia. Oh I did say that
Speaker 1: is probably not all right? Probably is zu Mitho. You're right,
Speaker 1: that's real elementary Zumi sophelia. Okay, it you says my thought. Okay,
Speaker 1: Lactually it was real childish zoom me you right, Okay,
Speaker 1: bitch zu Mitho. There we go, I like zametho. Zamitho. Okay, bitch,
Speaker 1: it ain't zoom me. You're right. Another more modern fetish incarnation, zamitophobia,
Speaker 1: describes the act of being turned on by the thoughts
Speaker 1: of having sex with mythical creatures and animals. These would
Speaker 1: be such as trolls, werewolves, dragons, and merman or mermaids
Speaker 1: um and no mythical creature stays sacred stinks. See why
Speaker 1: you gotta words? I don't know what that word is.
Speaker 1: I totally get the dragon thing because after watching Game
Speaker 1: of Thrones, you want to wait, what is it? You
Speaker 1: want to dragons? They're like lizards. You got iguanas with
Speaker 1: in Florida. Bitch, I mean, I don't want to think
Speaker 1: about some alligators. I'm just saying that. Getting that's kind
Speaker 1: of bestality, bro, I say all mythical creatures. She goes
Speaker 1: d dragging my ship. I went straight to Twilight Ben
Speaker 1: with the goddamn where wolf like before where we wait
Speaker 1: down saying dogs? So now where wolds? What would I
Speaker 1: what mythical creature? I want to suck? So you know what?
Speaker 1: And I don't know if this is bestality too, though,
Speaker 1: like the half man half horse, because that did go
Speaker 1: be big? What's it called mega mega metatur? Cent centaur?
Speaker 1: Are you listening to this right now? And you know
Speaker 1: what it is screaming into your headphone? It's a metal,
Speaker 1: it's a metatur. Well that's what I wanted here when
Speaker 1: we had white people, when anyone's here that Niger had notes,
Speaker 1: he had it right, Yeah, we're gonna look, don't be
Speaker 1: every time. I'm not that serious. She was right, she said, Centaur.
Speaker 1: So I feel like if but so the problem is
Speaker 1: I've never seen a black man, so would have to
Speaker 1: be half black man, half horse type in black. He
Speaker 1: got dress on Google? He got dressed. Oh yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: fuck him. Hold on, look, why are you looking up?
Speaker 1: Don't look up? Black horse? Maybe African American centaur? Oh
Speaker 1: wait wait wait, don't not that one front. That's not
Speaker 1: a good image. Okay, so the second wait wait, wait,
Speaker 1: what mythical creature? Let's let's get off the animals. What
Speaker 1: other mythical creature? Would you like? A wizard? Oh, I
Speaker 1: I'll fun will Smith. That don't count. That's like a genie. Okay,
Speaker 1: genie is a mythical create What about you? I for money,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, let me get. Why do you think
Speaker 1: gott to be for money? Just say you want because
Speaker 1: I'm saying one of my wishes gonna be money. It's
Speaker 1: something like, if you get a wish, you ain't gotta
Speaker 1: sucking for the money. You just wish sucking for one more?
Speaker 1: You get three? Right, you get three wishes. Let me
Speaker 1: see what about a troll? Nah? A ugly trolls are
Speaker 1: like midgets? Yeah, my bad. I know you'd be coming
Speaker 1: for me. But they called me midgets all they called
Speaker 1: me a midget. Oh yeah, I ain't fucking I'm good.
Speaker 1: There's a hilarious joke that I think. It's um. John
Speaker 1: Laney tells He's like, when I was doing TV, I
Speaker 1: had this bit or someone said about midget and they
Speaker 1: were like, you can't say that. It's like saying the
Speaker 1: N word. And he's like, you know how I know
Speaker 1: it's not the N word because you just said midget. Fat.
Speaker 1: I mean that facts. I'm trying to really trying wanted
Speaker 1: me to see nine. That's bad. But how much money
Speaker 1: were you looking for? Why we always gotta break up
Speaker 1: the money so how so how much money? How much
Speaker 1: money would I need to sucking? Midget? Basically, ugly face.
Speaker 1: That's what a little birth to? What ugly face? So
Speaker 1: ugly midget? How much money? How much money would you do?
Speaker 1: Like the head? Wait, the hat regular side. I was
Speaker 1: a little person. Just if they're attractive for cheap. No,
Speaker 1: but they have to look like a troll. No, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. They have to look like a troll.
Speaker 1: We're talking about mythical creatures. But I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not like I'm doing something crazy. How much money
Speaker 1: you said you would get shipped on for what? Twenty bands?
Speaker 1: Ten bands? You went down? Say that? I said that
Speaker 1: it was a hard ship. I didn't say twenty. I
Speaker 1: said fifty. Okay, So how much you sucking a troll for?
Speaker 1: I want to say higher now, because I mean, if
Speaker 1: y'all know why we get wait, I just wanted prefaces
Speaker 1: by saying if you never heard the ship episode, I
Speaker 1: started at like a quarter mill. But did I work
Speaker 1: my way down? I don't know. I'm going like seventy five.
Speaker 1: You were lying like, hell, bit that image we're looking
Speaker 1: at right now, that i'd have to do that bron out. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can dig it. I can dig their faces a right?
Speaker 1: What is another method. Hold on, where was on? There
Speaker 1: were wolves, dragons, a mermaid? Real quick, that might be
Speaker 1: hot done. That's like Ariel. Yeah he's gonna it's like
Speaker 1: Ariel Mermaid. Oh yeah, he's fine. We ain't got no dick.
Speaker 1: How you gonna eat? That's exactly what y'all doing. You know,
Speaker 1: it's real gross. It would be like if you put
Speaker 1: a goldfish to play with your pussy your clip. Nah,
Speaker 1: that's the black Mermaid. Wait on, y'all, if you're a patron,
Speaker 1: we're gonna definitely ask y'all with which mythical creatures you
Speaker 1: want to, but we're gonna put some pictures up of um,
Speaker 1: these black mermaids. So when Jeeves and I were first dating,
Speaker 1: I thought that, like he really freaked me out. He
Speaker 1: sent me he had like a tumbler thing of like, um,
Speaker 1: not anime, but it was more so like fawns and
Speaker 1: like they had pointy ears and ship and he has
Speaker 1: a mythical creature. Yeah. He was like, you think this
Speaker 1: is hot? And I'm like I could see it, so
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I used to like, um, what was
Speaker 1: it called Neverland? Um the Peter Pan movie. I they
Speaker 1: looked so cute. Yeah, when they got them little ears
Speaker 1: in that movie. But like, how cute. I mean I
Speaker 1: was young watching the movie, so I got turned. This
Speaker 1: is actually at this point I like, I thought I
Speaker 1: liked white guys. This is when I was like in
Speaker 1: the insynct Backstreet Boys. So when I watched Neverland, I
Speaker 1: was into the little white actors. Now, no, I mean
Speaker 1: I'd rather fun him than the troll. Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Definitely scissoring situation. I mean, honestly, it's like paraplegic, like
Speaker 1: dudes they can't feel their dick. Remember we were talking
Speaker 1: about was it no, maybe you were here when Ashley
Speaker 1: was here, the girl who was in a wheelchair, and
Speaker 1: we were talking about like people that could jerk you off,
Speaker 1: and like, I mean, we could have figure out a
Speaker 1: way to it. He definitely fingering you with them Finns.
Speaker 1: I'll take it. It might be slim and like, oh
Speaker 1: it's slapping. That's true. So I do want to say,
Speaker 1: if you guys have not checked us out, we were again.
Speaker 1: We mentioned this before on the cover of Salty If
Speaker 1: you guys have not, go to at Salty dot World
Speaker 1: on Instagram, click the link on their bio and subscribe
Speaker 1: to read our interview with them, and then just a
Speaker 1: ton of stories really dope yesterday or maybe this morning
Speaker 1: and said how to talk straight June into pegging, not
Speaker 1: saying that you have to. But what I did was
Speaker 1: I was looking for a news article today and I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, well let me just look on Salty
Speaker 1: and they had a motherhood section. Um so I got.
Speaker 1: I know it's a long one, but I got the
Speaker 1: brunt of what I really found interest ring. I'm so
Speaker 1: glad so we don't have to listen to you read
Speaker 1: it bit so it's a right. Let's get the summary headline.
Speaker 1: And I want to ask, because Michelle has kids, oh
Speaker 1: you have you do have kids now and she's pregnant away,
Speaker 1: why you should buy a sex toy for your teen? Okay?
Speaker 1: What if we taught our children from the beginning to
Speaker 1: not seek out relief of these sexual desires and other people,
Speaker 1: but teach them something that they can relieve themselves. Studies
Speaker 1: have shown the kids that are educated about masturbation and
Speaker 1: do it more confident with their own bodies and sexuality
Speaker 1: are funk. Man. I didn't want to mess it up.
Speaker 1: You already did. It's the fresh it's the fucking what
Speaker 1: is it? It's the presh I don't know, de Fresh.
Speaker 1: It's like tens of thousands of people are going to
Speaker 1: listen to me. You say a word wrong opposed to
Speaker 1: like when I'm just like improvin, I just said ZOOMI yeah,
Speaker 1: but like that was a hard like I almost said
Speaker 1: some random It's just because I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: want to, Okay. So it's funny that you brought this
Speaker 1: article up though, because if you guys came to our
Speaker 1: d C live show, we brought up masturbating um as
Speaker 1: teens and if parents should punish their children if they
Speaker 1: caught them masturbating, or if we should ship in d
Speaker 1: C was a woman wanting to teach masturbation for ages
Speaker 1: eight to thirteen, and then our audience to the audience
Speaker 1: was they would They said that most of them said
Speaker 1: they wouldn't pun I think all of them said they
Speaker 1: wouldn't punish. But the headline for this ship is like
Speaker 1: normalizing sexuality in subtle ways. Picking a toy for them
Speaker 1: can be awkward, but they're basically saying, you pick it
Speaker 1: and keep the conversation going. And they're saying like, instead
Speaker 1: of um, you know, it says, imagine a kid billy
Speaker 1: who wanted to experiment with harmless as play. If he
Speaker 1: had a small plug to use on himself, he could
Speaker 1: have avoided that e R trip with a sharpie stuck
Speaker 1: in his butt. Okay, so here's here's my thing. And
Speaker 1: I think this is why I even said um, there
Speaker 1: was there was a slight argument in people not wanting
Speaker 1: to exploit this. I shared a story about a friend
Speaker 1: of mine who caught her younger daughter, her daughter's thirteen
Speaker 1: or fourteen, reading um erotic novels and she went immediately
Speaker 1: to take away her laptop, take away her phone, and like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you should not be reading this. And
Speaker 1: instead of having that sex conversation to where if she's
Speaker 1: being aroused this way, this isn't opening to where you
Speaker 1: guys can have the conversation whether she's masturbating to it,
Speaker 1: whether you know this is what what's arousing her. At
Speaker 1: least she's not maybe playing with the boys yet, Like
Speaker 1: this would have been a conversational, like I've googled like
Speaker 1: people kissing her girls kissings like that. You know, one
Speaker 1: of my friends I might have said it on this
Speaker 1: podcast before, but a close friend of mine, says her daughter.
Speaker 1: She caught her masturbating, and she let her know it
Speaker 1: was okay because the daughter was locking the door, because
Speaker 1: she was like, locked my door too, you ain't walking
Speaker 1: in wait. The daughter just said, Mom, I'm locking my
Speaker 1: door because I'm playing. She didn't, so she kept saying, like,
Speaker 1: why the fund is your door locked? And then she
Speaker 1: told her mom. So then she says, she's like, no,
Speaker 1: this little bit is getting it overboard, talking about I'm stressed,
Speaker 1: I'm as I need to lock my door. That is funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's funny. I mean, I get it. Um So it
Speaker 1: says if you can't do it in person and have
Speaker 1: a talk about masturbation or a toy, it's okay to
Speaker 1: leave the toy in their bed, with the notes saying
Speaker 1: you're going through a lot of changes. This will help
Speaker 1: you explore everybody yourself totally normal. Don't be embarrassed. I'm
Speaker 1: here to talk about it if you want or if not. No, right,
Speaker 1: that's not a solution. I don't like that. One can
Speaker 1: them and asked them if they got the gift and
Speaker 1: if they have any questions. We live in a different
Speaker 1: era than our parents did, and we can't be as
Speaker 1: passive and absent minded about education. So here's the I
Speaker 1: guess here's another thing that I would think of if
Speaker 1: we all look at our childhoods. How many times did
Speaker 1: we find our parents toys? I feel like that's a
Speaker 1: story that a lot of people have without meaning to
Speaker 1: come across the dildo ill long right right. The crazy
Speaker 1: thing is that could be my mom has seven kids, right,
Speaker 1: so you think that she will be sucking a lot.
Speaker 1: I literally like, I had this conversation with my husband
Speaker 1: the other day. I'm like, I have no memory of
Speaker 1: like hearing my mom fucking like finding anything. Like she
Speaker 1: was so secretive. And the other day I asked her,
Speaker 1: I'm like, how did you do it? And she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just waited for you guys to go to sleep. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but like how the fund did? I not
Speaker 1: here because I'm the oldest, I never heard it, but
Speaker 1: I did. I never heard it. I never walked in
Speaker 1: And I'm like that, have you ever walked in around? No?
Speaker 1: But I definitely heard. My mom is a owner. She's
Speaker 1: so extra. So my mom was like the man that
Speaker 1: reship like carpet. I don't like the child floors anymore.
Speaker 1: Your kids are, how old are you kids? Well, my
Speaker 1: daughters eight and my son is too. Okay, so right
Speaker 1: now what we're going through is like they still sleep
Speaker 1: in my bed, so we're just like ye, no, judge
Speaker 1: and BILLI um. And the thing is is like now
Speaker 1: we're like teenagers and we like sneak around to funk.
Speaker 1: So we're like, okay, maybe downstairs in the liver or
Speaker 1: maybe here and meet me there. And it's just like
Speaker 1: so we kind of like cover it up. But I
Speaker 1: feel like my daughter's like kind of like oblivious to it. Stef.
Speaker 1: She's nine, she's going on nine, but she's like so
Speaker 1: now my husband's like, oh, maybe we gotta like no
Speaker 1: more like morning sex or you know, because like now
Speaker 1: she's like she'll send my son upstairs, like oh go
Speaker 1: see what they're doing. Now. Let me ask you at
Speaker 1: nine with social media, because at nine I didn't have
Speaker 1: the access to phones and TV important like not to
Speaker 1: the extent that it is now, do you feel like
Speaker 1: at nine that conversation about sex or sex toys would
Speaker 1: happen or at what age do you think that's going
Speaker 1: to happen? In this age right now? I kind of
Speaker 1: test the waters with her, like I'm very open with her,
Speaker 1: like she knows I'm adulla. She knows that babies come
Speaker 1: out of vaginas, like she knows, like you know, not
Speaker 1: just like you like, we don't story a story, she said,
Speaker 1: the story is I'm like, what's the stewardess? So now
Speaker 1: that's yo, so low. I'm coming from work. I went
Speaker 1: out last night. I had company. So then we was
Speaker 1: cuddling all night. We was cuddling this morning, like what
Speaker 1: I'm sor I was just drinking. We drink a lot.
Speaker 1: Dumb so um k Camp and Genius were intown rappers,
Speaker 1: so once met them at the studio. Then we went
Speaker 1: to PhD. Then we went to Dumblehouse and we went
Speaker 1: to another bar. We like bar hopped all night. Nick,
Speaker 1: I was in Brooklyn. That's how you know. I was
Speaker 1: out late. Who was your company? That's what you're not
Speaker 1: gonna be all look at my business about a friend.
Speaker 1: He was a friend and we had, you know, a
Speaker 1: nice cuddle session. So I was up late. Did you
Speaker 1: cuddle something into your mouth? Now it was only cuddling,
Speaker 1: thank you saying there's a big old belly right there. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that wouldn't happen with me and now I don't know,
Speaker 1: I get, I get really weird. Look, so Adam and
Speaker 1: Eve like sent us a whole bunch of like condoms.
Speaker 1: So now I have like mad options. And he was
Speaker 1: this is let me tell you the embarrassing part real quick.
Speaker 1: This is an embarrassing part of the story. And I
Speaker 1: felt like a whore. So we get to the house
Speaker 1: and I take a shower because I went to work then,
Speaker 1: like we were out everywhere in all these clubs. So
Speaker 1: I go to take a shower and I put my
Speaker 1: my winter robe on like this like furry robe that
Speaker 1: I have from Victoria's Secret. So we get in the
Speaker 1: bed and he goes to cuddle with me and my
Speaker 1: robe has pockets. There was fucking condoms in the pockets.
Speaker 1: I must have left them in there when Lawyer Bay
Speaker 1: came over like a month and a half ago, and
Speaker 1: so he's like, oh, you came to the bed ready.
Speaker 1: I said, I showed you not. I don't know what
Speaker 1: those are doing in there, and threw them across the room.
Speaker 1: But it was so embarrassing because I'm like, oh, he
Speaker 1: must think I'm a whore. There's just condoms ready in
Speaker 1: my robe. That made me feel like a horror fuck.
Speaker 1: I think the bigger issue is how fucking cheesy. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to imagine you're watching TV in your robe and
Speaker 1: suddenly you're like like flips out. So no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: When when Lawyer Bay came over, I like, because we
Speaker 1: were already laying in bed, so I hate the awkward
Speaker 1: You got a condom? Yeah, let me get up and
Speaker 1: go get it. Draws halfway hanging off for Dick is
Speaker 1: out already and now we got to go find a condom.
Speaker 1: So I'd normally like either put it in my pillowcase
Speaker 1: or in that case, it was in my robe, but
Speaker 1: so this was for another nick and he found it
Speaker 1: and thought I came to the bed ready for him,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, damn, how did those get there?
Speaker 1: He was ready, bit I was like, no, we're you know,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to slide, I hope, so into every podcast
Speaker 1: here forward, I'm like making a commitment that I just
Speaker 1: get to say that. I'm talking like Kodak like so much.
Speaker 1: The white people at my job think it's like a
Speaker 1: thing I do, and I'm like the thin I'm like
Speaker 1: hilarious and like, no, that's funny, Okay, So get in it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So let's start with the basics first. What is a duela? Okay,
Speaker 1: A duela is pretty much a woman, a man. It
Speaker 1: could be there's some men duelas um and it's just
Speaker 1: a person that's there for support for a pregnant woman.
Speaker 1: There's actually so many different types of duela. Is not
Speaker 1: even just a midwife, No, it's not the same. A
Speaker 1: midwife is like actually like she catches the baby like
Speaker 1: they shoot out, Wait, you you'll be the one to
Speaker 1: hold the hand. Just so I welcome through it. Like
Speaker 1: I'm basically the one that like preps them for the midwife.
Speaker 1: So it's like I'm there for like their support while
Speaker 1: they're pregnant, you know, if they have any questions, like
Speaker 1: oh sha, what's an epidural? There's some women that have
Speaker 1: no idea, So do you do this only when they're
Speaker 1: having their babies delivered like in a house or naturally
Speaker 1: you'd be going to hospitals like GMA. Just Dan, I've
Speaker 1: only attended one. I'm home birth and I didn't I
Speaker 1: thought when I thought about I thought, I thought in
Speaker 1: your house in the bathroom. Now, okay, everything is like
Speaker 1: mostly all my page my patients, not my patients, my
Speaker 1: clients are in the hospital, where do they find you?
Speaker 1: And onist they signed me like Facebook, like I promote
Speaker 1: on my Facebook. Um, there's actually like this website that's
Speaker 1: called UM Yeah. So it's like you go there and
Speaker 1: how do you get the profile? And then they see
Speaker 1: like your qualifications and then they hit you up like
Speaker 1: hey this person, could you explain your qualifications? Well, it's
Speaker 1: on your doula apps is my page? No, you don't swep,
Speaker 1: but it's kind of like like my Space kind of thing.
Speaker 1: You have profile. Yeah, like you have your own profile,
Speaker 1: like a little picture of you and then like where
Speaker 1: you're located, top eight and basically you gotta put all that.
Speaker 1: So doctors, these are my favorite books. So these are
Speaker 1: like what I love to do, like reviews from previous clients. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's basically like what information I know over the
Speaker 1: next person, So like someone might like me because I
Speaker 1: am the same here as them. It's simple because it's
Speaker 1: like so it's like when you pick out a doctor.
Speaker 1: So think about retology as a duela. I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to go to a white doula. Okay, that makes sense,
Speaker 1: I mean, and it's not even like a race thing.
Speaker 1: It's just something that can we what do we have
Speaker 1: in common? You know, like if a person comes in
Speaker 1: and there and and like let's say it's fully all
Speaker 1: white doctors, all white nurses, So what are we have
Speaker 1: in common? Because now you're on their team and you know,
Speaker 1: I was looking for a black dula, but I knew
Speaker 1: it was sucked up not to like get even though
Speaker 1: the thing is is like as a duela, it's like
Speaker 1: so rare to find Latinos and it's kind of her
Speaker 1: to find even black dulas because I would hire a
Speaker 1: black dula before I hire a white Dulah is black.
Speaker 1: It sounds like some Africa. What is actually Greek? It
Speaker 1: comes from the like the word doul and it's um
Speaker 1: it means female slave. So that's kind of basically what
Speaker 1: I want to be. So that's basically like what I
Speaker 1: am if you think about it, because like I'm your
Speaker 1: female slave, like I'm your slave while you're pregnant. You
Speaker 1: pay me. Of course that's how much it depends. Like
Speaker 1: I'm not certified. What's an average? So I'm not a
Speaker 1: certified dula. Like I do it based off of like
Speaker 1: I taught myself, like everything everything for me has been
Speaker 1: self taught. I haven't done any training. I haven't done anything.
Speaker 1: I've just read a ton of books. I ain't got
Speaker 1: no qualification. This is kind of like, so my mom, right,
Speaker 1: my mom's board. I don't want my mom to go
Speaker 1: back to work and have a schedule, but she's been
Speaker 1: thinking about watching kids. And I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: wonder if you can't win no qualifications. I made her
Speaker 1: a little profile literally last night. So many people love
Speaker 1: that she's a mom and she's older, yeah, she's late sixties, like,
Speaker 1: and it's all about like the connection because of course,
Speaker 1: like they have to interview me, right, It's not like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to hire her because she's pretty. It's
Speaker 1: not like that. So I have to sit with them
Speaker 1: and then I have to explain I just I was like,
Speaker 1: you wanted to look good often like how I guess
Speaker 1: more so more aside from what do they pay you?
Speaker 1: How do they pay you? Because if they're texting you
Speaker 1: all the time, like obviously you're not charged. Basically, the
Speaker 1: way it works is like most women hire a duela
Speaker 1: around like their third trimester, around like thirty three weeks.
Speaker 1: Thank you. From there on, it's like okay, so we
Speaker 1: decide you're gonna be Um, I'm gonna be your Duela.
Speaker 1: Were a match perfect great. So from that moment that
Speaker 1: they have the initial interview and they're like, okay, I
Speaker 1: love you whatever, what have you? I give him about
Speaker 1: like seven seven to ten days to just i'd if
Speaker 1: they want to sign my contract. And then that's when
Speaker 1: I received my first payment, which is a partial payment
Speaker 1: I only receive and then once it comes down to
Speaker 1: thirty eight weeks, I'm sorry, not weeks. Thirty six weeks,
Speaker 1: I received my final payment. So can I ask you
Speaker 1: because when you have you have a do date and
Speaker 1: then you can come any time before that do day
Speaker 1: anytime after. At that point, are you also on call?
Speaker 1: Yes whenever. That's the reason why because like in our area,
Speaker 1: like in East Coast and like you know, New York City,
Speaker 1: New Jersey, we charged pretty high compared to like Oklahoma,
Speaker 1: Oklahoma charged but for like in our area anywhere, it
Speaker 1: can range from anywhere from seven fifty to like okay,
Speaker 1: it just the more for the more money you make. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just the more you know, the more money. What
Speaker 1: do I want to do it for? Do I want
Speaker 1: to do? Little? Coach me? Through pushing the baby out,
Speaker 1: or do I want to do it to be there
Speaker 1: after I have a baby? When do I I feel
Speaker 1: like the most important time. If you're like a first
Speaker 1: time mom, I would say the duela from the beginning,
Speaker 1: like you know, thirty three weeks. And of course if
Speaker 1: you want to dula, then that means that you're most
Speaker 1: likely you're very informed already on like what you plan
Speaker 1: on doing for your birth, so you just want somebody
Speaker 1: for like real assurance. So there's some women that are like,
Speaker 1: they come to this country, let's say, and they have
Speaker 1: no family here, so they're just like That's where that's
Speaker 1: where my question was coming from, because I wanted to
Speaker 1: know what you offer that say a family member or
Speaker 1: a husband or the baby daddy or a friend would
Speaker 1: not be able to offer because like so so Wheezy
Speaker 1: has not had kids yet. I have not had kids yet,
Speaker 1: but both of our parents clearly don't shout out kids,
Speaker 1: so our moms could do essentially what you would do.
Speaker 1: So you're saying you are hired for those individuals who
Speaker 1: may not have that supply. Not only that, but it's
Speaker 1: like okay, for instance, from my daughter's birth, my mom
Speaker 1: wasn't here, so my grandma was here, and just her
Speaker 1: presence drove me crazy. And I love my grandma, you know,
Speaker 1: like she's dope, Like she's always there for me, she's whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, But at that moment, she was my mental block.
Speaker 1: And that's what a lot of people don't know. You're
Speaker 1: just like spirituals guy, right, So it's just like me
Speaker 1: and you connect spiritually, and you don't connect like that
Speaker 1: with your mom, even though like she's your best friend
Speaker 1: or whatever the case is. At that moment, you're like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I really want to, like would
Speaker 1: you want to shop in front of your mom? And
Speaker 1: it just depends on who you are. Yeah, I hid
Speaker 1: even getting my period from my mom for like the
Speaker 1: first year. Now now we're comfortable and I do. Look
Speaker 1: at my mom is my best friend, but even when
Speaker 1: she was trying to talk tell me about her sex life,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, gir, I don't want to hear that.
Speaker 1: So I still don't think I would want her to
Speaker 1: see my pussy white. And it's just like you know,
Speaker 1: and it's like, know what I mean, like I could
Speaker 1: what you're saying. I hope my mom would drive me nuts.
Speaker 1: Your mom like literally because all making sure really sweet,
Speaker 1: but my mom told me I just had a biopsy done,
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh god, I flyd me on. I
Speaker 1: wish I was there. She would make me anxious. Thing
Speaker 1: like you want to be relaxed. This can be like
Speaker 1: when you're pushing on your baby, because it's like you
Speaker 1: think about it, like you're stressed and you're the first
Speaker 1: thing you do is like tighten your stomach and like
Speaker 1: tighten your area. So you don't want that. You wanted
Speaker 1: to be as loose and relaxed as possible. We have
Speaker 1: a lot of male listeners, so my question would be,
Speaker 1: do you feel like husband because a lot of men
Speaker 1: don't want to see that, or don't know how to
Speaker 1: react or don't want to be in the room. Do
Speaker 1: you feel like you do get men that also reach
Speaker 1: out to you for their um women and there's nothing
Speaker 1: you mentioned like men's there's actually men that it's like
Speaker 1: a fetish for them. Like it's just like it's like spam,
Speaker 1: like you know, like get a random text, like random
Speaker 1: message like hey, my wife's in labor right now, can
Speaker 1: you tell me what to do? And that turns them on.
Speaker 1: So it's just like no, wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? Like I'll get a random message
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Let's say like, hey, my wife is about
Speaker 1: to um push our baby out. Can you give me
Speaker 1: instructions on how to take the baby out? Like that,
Speaker 1: you have to be a certain position and then you
Speaker 1: just have to like kind of see like what where's
Speaker 1: your midwife? And then you go from there and it's
Speaker 1: like oh no, no, no, she doesn't have a midwife.
Speaker 1: I'm here or whatever the case is, so you kind
Speaker 1: of like catch on. So yeah, but besides that, honestly,
Speaker 1: I honestly think that men should definitely be involved because
Speaker 1: the same way a baby is made is the same
Speaker 1: way a baby could come out. What do you want
Speaker 1: your man to be there? You want him to I'm like,
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, honestly, that's what you want. You want
Speaker 1: your man to be there. You want him to be
Speaker 1: hugging you, kissing you, because that oxytostin, that love is
Speaker 1: what opens you up. What's the difference between oxytin and serotonin?
Speaker 1: Like st serotonin serotonin levels that increased to like make
Speaker 1: you happy. Well, oxytocin is basically like a hormone in
Speaker 1: your body that is just like kind of like your love.
Speaker 1: Your love, okay, so it's like that's your yeah, and
Speaker 1: what's your hastiness and like so this one is like
Speaker 1: yours and so you want that no. Like like for example,
Speaker 1: when I was on lexapro, it was to boost levels
Speaker 1: of serotonin, So that's Oxytocin is basically like your love hormone.
Speaker 1: So it's just like when you're getting like aroused, that's
Speaker 1: what's happening, like obviously, but like I didn't really know
Speaker 1: the whole time what oxytocin. Yeah, So that's basically it's
Speaker 1: so like when I have clients that have a spouse
Speaker 1: or partner, I'm just like, listen, I love her, you know,
Speaker 1: Like my job is just to be there. If you
Speaker 1: just need me just to be there to hold space
Speaker 1: for you, that's okay. Even if you need me just
Speaker 1: to take pictures, that's fine. But the whole point is
Speaker 1: is like if you have your partner, be there for them,
Speaker 1: because it's just like at that moment a woman is
Speaker 1: so open and you don't know literally literally you know,
Speaker 1: you know, like in my mind, I'm just like, damn,
Speaker 1: why is my husband sitting over there? But he doesn't
Speaker 1: love me? Like so it's just like that right there
Speaker 1: can stop you from dilating from like opening up and
Speaker 1: delivering it. And let's give we can look at either
Speaker 1: monthly or year late. What would you say about the
Speaker 1: number of clients you get in any year? Let's do
Speaker 1: a year. Um Honestly, it depends how many you do
Speaker 1: at one time. At one time. You just have the
Speaker 1: whole the whole point of like a successful dula is
Speaker 1: to have a great backup doula. So you can't do
Speaker 1: this by yourself because it's just like you that's my
Speaker 1: she was actually one of my Yeah I was when
Speaker 1: she was one of my clients. How you got doing so? Okay?
Speaker 1: So basically it's like, let's say I get five women
Speaker 1: in one month, right, Okay? If I have five in
Speaker 1: one month and the two of them going to labor
Speaker 1: at the same time, I can't be at the both
Speaker 1: places and want check, so I give them um so
Speaker 1: because I didn't have the right Now you hate you
Speaker 1: hate percentage because you would do you just want any
Speaker 1: lots of money? If I was like funk, I connected
Speaker 1: with this person and they already and that's not all
Speaker 1: duelers do this, but I always recommend my inert for like,
Speaker 1: whoever I'm interviewing with, just be like, hey, my homie
Speaker 1: over here. She's my backup duel and she's great. I
Speaker 1: can have her face time you you want her to come,
Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, you never know,
Speaker 1: and like you said, if we have a connection and
Speaker 1: then here comes my friend, it's just like I don't
Speaker 1: like her, get her out. So then it sucks, and
Speaker 1: then it just messes up the business, and then it
Speaker 1: gives me a bad rep because so when do you
Speaker 1: let go? When do you stop talking to them? Um?
Speaker 1: I stopped around. Well yeah, okay, so um So the
Speaker 1: way it works is basically like I have a package.
Speaker 1: Um my package is okay. So I offered two prenato visits,
Speaker 1: which means that I visit them from the moment that
Speaker 1: they hire me until the moment that they give birth
Speaker 1: two times, and throughout those visits, I just give them
Speaker 1: answer whatever questions they may have. No, okay, there's some
Speaker 1: some duels that aren't even they don't even want kids.
Speaker 1: It's just whatever. You want to have a little bit
Speaker 1: of a testimony when someone's like, yeah, your nipples are
Speaker 1: going to feel like this. Google Yeah, because I read
Speaker 1: a lot, and I learned that you've experienced it. Yeah
Speaker 1: for being but I'm saying like, okay, okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: And there's women that will be like, oh, you never
Speaker 1: had a kid. I want Mama had me. But yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So there's some women because Duel is actually that don't
Speaker 1: even have kids and they're just like I don't plan
Speaker 1: on having kids, or either they're like eighteen and they're
Speaker 1: just starting off, or it's more just like an emotional
Speaker 1: connect connection with a person, like I make really good
Speaker 1: connections with people, So then you're also building kind of
Speaker 1: a friendship even though you're paying forward. Yeah, so like
Speaker 1: those two visits, you give them the two prenatos if
Speaker 1: they want. Some people only want one. Some people are
Speaker 1: just like I already know I don't really need that much.
Speaker 1: So during that time you answer like the way I
Speaker 1: do it is like I'm like, okay, so we only
Speaker 1: have like the visitors really an hour to two hours.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, pick some topics that you feel are
Speaker 1: important that you really want to know about before you
Speaker 1: push your baby out. So we discussed that and and
Speaker 1: I attend their birth. So I'm on call from thirty
Speaker 1: six weeks until the moment that they go into labor.
Speaker 1: And some women they go into labor thirty eight weeks,
Speaker 1: some women go up to forty two weeks. So it's
Speaker 1: very tough. Yeah, no, because that's already included. So then
Speaker 1: once they have their baby, do you involve yourself in
Speaker 1: checking in with them as well? Again, so I do
Speaker 1: the two pre nato. I attend to birth and then
Speaker 1: to postpartum. So for those postpartums I usually offer them
Speaker 1: like three to four hours and then for those visits,
Speaker 1: give them encouragement with the baby or what. Well, some
Speaker 1: moms are so exhausted that they're just like take a
Speaker 1: pretty much as bad as it sounds, because a lot
Speaker 1: of duels are just like, no, I'm not a babysitter.
Speaker 1: I'm not an antie. You know, like some get offended
Speaker 1: by that, but listen, I'm there to support them. And
Speaker 1: I did a lot of work last summer as a
Speaker 1: postpartum du and that was it. Like some women are
Speaker 1: just like, you really like kids, And that's the crazy thing.
Speaker 1: I don't like kids exactly even because they're mind, but
Speaker 1: it's like you want to do it. I have nine siblings, right,
Speaker 1: I'm the only girl I'm the oldest. I have a
Speaker 1: little sister. Actually, I'm sorry, I'm not the only girl.
Speaker 1: I used to be the um nine nine so um.
Speaker 1: So I've always been around kids, and I used to
Speaker 1: tell my mom I'm not having no kids because pretty
Speaker 1: much like help you raise these little freaking boys. And
Speaker 1: I'm still raised helping her. And then I got and
Speaker 1: I had eight brothers under you. I have, I have,
Speaker 1: My mom has six kids under me, and then my dad.
Speaker 1: I'm Puerto Rican. Yeah, shooting them out. Listen every time
Speaker 1: I go to the Bronx, just my every Puerto Rican.
Speaker 1: My sister is six and my daughter's eight. Are y'all like,
Speaker 1: so this might be something and I mean this culturally
Speaker 1: like big family, Well it could just be a myth.
Speaker 1: Is like Latina's more like, I don't know, are y'all
Speaker 1: more fertile? What I don't know saying I say, I
Speaker 1: don't that Puerto Rican bitches get pregnant way quicker than
Speaker 1: any other race. I have no what I got to
Speaker 1: hurt if they just want like they just fertile, like
Speaker 1: my mom, maybe all the right to be what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, y'all eating it's like, yeah, we do. But
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's said me. That's how you say it, Ben,
Speaker 1: which I'm in my bronx. I said it right right
Speaker 1: Ben Me? Okay, wait, I want to let's go back
Speaker 1: to the basis, all right, my man, I was really
Speaker 1: focused on if y'all fartil if you don't know ferti,
Speaker 1: but I know my mom wanted that many babies are
Speaker 1: made to it, you know, so baby made pussy are like,
Speaker 1: so she thinks the sperm have eggs? No, what did
Speaker 1: you say something about sperm pared eggs? So basically like
Speaker 1: the way conception works. Talking about conception, all right, you
Speaker 1: have sex, two people have sex whatever, and then whatever
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it, um and then the
Speaker 1: sperm travels and then hits the egg and then that's
Speaker 1: how basically it's done. Let's talk about ovulation, right, So,
Speaker 1: like you can only get pregnant when you're ovulating, correct,
Speaker 1: This is that science. I don't believe. What a god?
Speaker 1: You can only get pregnant like two times out of
Speaker 1: the month, but yet lives in you for like four
Speaker 1: to five days. Yes, because they just had to say that.
Speaker 1: So you're what you're going to deep You're going to
Speaker 1: know I won't go deep, but I don't believe too
Speaker 1: many people pop up pregnant for me to only have
Speaker 1: two days. The population of the month r one of
Speaker 1: the weeks you're on your period three weeks you have
Speaker 1: to fuck one of those weeks your fertile the whole
Speaker 1: Look at the month, and out of one of those weeks,
Speaker 1: like have a thirty chance of getting pregnant every time.
Speaker 1: So that's why I think everyb that they say only
Speaker 1: two days, Well, no, it's not. That's peak. It's like
Speaker 1: peak you usually have like about like anywhere from like seven.
Speaker 1: So here I just want to show you. So let's
Speaker 1: look at April. So I'm fertile. You see all of
Speaker 1: these days actually up until March, so seven days in
Speaker 1: fertil March thirty one to the end of this week.
Speaker 1: But are not fucking Chicago. But anyway, so here's that
Speaker 1: flower day. That's when it's like the real highest chance
Speaker 1: that you can get pregnant. But you can get pregnant anytime.
Speaker 1: Those living If someone comes to me and I'm populating here,
Speaker 1: this firm can live in my pussy port. So here's
Speaker 1: my question. If you funk on the seventh, you tell
Speaker 1: me there's absolutely no way you can get pregnant. If
Speaker 1: he come in, you'll pussy on the seventh. What if
Speaker 1: the egg doesn't drop and it's still there? Here was
Speaker 1: your ovulation peak. I mean the egg drops on the fifth,
Speaker 1: So after that, yeah, so after that you're done. Why
Speaker 1: why why is there still a dot on the sixth
Speaker 1: because she's still ovulating. Her last day is the sixth,
Speaker 1: but low chance. So then you bring statistics now this ship.
Speaker 1: This is why I was freaking out about that Plan B,
Speaker 1: my nigga, because here's when I went to New Orleans.
Speaker 1: It's thrown off now because that's what the Plan B,
Speaker 1: bitch the flower was like. Two days after I was terrified.
Speaker 1: I was saying, He's like, I don't know why, you
Speaker 1: don't know why you it's crazy because when you posted that,
Speaker 1: I actually got a message sense in and I'm not
Speaker 1: sure if you've taken um Plan B or even your weight,
Speaker 1: but more so my weight before my weight loss. There's
Speaker 1: actually something that says that Plan B does not actually
Speaker 1: work for women, or is very unlikely to work in
Speaker 1: women over a hundred and seventy pounds. Shut up, yes, ma'am,
Speaker 1: And if you last ship y no, and so we
Speaker 1: looked this up and the odds of it actually working
Speaker 1: for yeah, looking up, girl, I'm telling you, so the
Speaker 1: odds for for maybe um more, you know, curvy women
Speaker 1: and and overweight women. Maybe you do want to use
Speaker 1: something other than Plan B. What h b M I
Speaker 1: women's supposed to do about emergency? Yeah, high B and
Speaker 1: my women have a lower chance than were The average
Speaker 1: woman weighs a hundred and sixty eight pounds. That look,
Speaker 1: she's looking it up right now. Yeah, so okay, it's
Speaker 1: it's the b M I they're talking about. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so for someone like me who's five ft one and
Speaker 1: way to thirty. At one point, yeah, there's that ship.
Speaker 1: I was popping skittles at that point. I was just
Speaker 1: praying my ovulationship because I okay. So the World Health
Speaker 1: Organization UM suggest that it's not that much of an
Speaker 1: issue like people say. Um, there's four studies published that says,
Speaker 1: while data is limited, the finding suggests that women with
Speaker 1: obesity haven't increased risks, but it's not increase Still sound
Speaker 1: like me if you're sitting here telling me he's oddestly
Speaker 1: the data to review is still extremely limited. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. How because I'm not sure how you even
Speaker 1: if you just haven't gotten enough women in certain bmns
Speaker 1: to try it, like the studies of you have to
Speaker 1: try that on human people. He was interesting and over
Speaker 1: or whatever. Y'all know the L word that makes you
Speaker 1: know had a baby. It's not the only more toto,
Speaker 1: what's the L word? Live on gestural the like the
Speaker 1: ingreded thing again love on gesture or whatever it is
Speaker 1: that you fringe. No, but the Plan B wasn't available.
Speaker 1: Right when I walked into the wallgreens. Did I tell
Speaker 1: you all the story about how went out to So
Speaker 1: I went to a bunch of them because right it
Speaker 1: was busy where we were at. So when I went
Speaker 1: to the last one, I came in the car and
Speaker 1: I didn't have Plan B. I had this ship called Alegra.
Speaker 1: He said, Nigga, what the hell is agra? Wasn't that
Speaker 1: that's not for alig I was not to say so
Speaker 1: that Algie. Let me look on the name. But you've
Speaker 1: just got lucky damage because no, no, no, no, it
Speaker 1: has the same active ingredient that love agenna one point five.
Speaker 1: After feeling like no, that's when definitely, yo. All I
Speaker 1: know is when I'm walked in. He was like, he
Speaker 1: looked at me, like, so, I guess for for again, ella, bro,
Speaker 1: you're not gotta ask. So what other question you got
Speaker 1: about shooting babies? Okay? So okay, so the baby's weren't
Speaker 1: in there right, So basically I'm interested in knowing kind
Speaker 1: of like what it feels like to be pregnant, right.
Speaker 1: What I want to know and what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: basically push out there is us respecting pregnant people and
Speaker 1: mothers more so, like let's kind of just walk us
Speaker 1: through the first trimester. I've heard a lot about women.
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer is a popular one that is throwing up
Speaker 1: like crazy the entire pregnancy. Yeah, like what is it
Speaker 1: like the second So for me, my pregnancies have been amazing,
Speaker 1: pregnancy amazing. Listen. There's women, like you said, like she
Speaker 1: throws up like crazy. Um, yeah, she's one of them.
Speaker 1: Like she was just always sick everything, she couldn't eat.
Speaker 1: There's women that just can't eat, can't get out of bed,
Speaker 1: they can't go to work, they can't do like everyday activities.
Speaker 1: And for me, I didn't have that problem. That's probably
Speaker 1: why I got the third to Like there's certain women
Speaker 1: when they're like they'd be ready, didn't they? Like I'm
Speaker 1: remember being in school, girls wouldn't come to school because
Speaker 1: they was on a period. And that's not google. I
Speaker 1: would say, like every other period, I violently throw up
Speaker 1: from the pain. Really, then you know that. I wonder
Speaker 1: like if they have a connection, like if women have
Speaker 1: crazy period period? I never had crazy period, Like you've
Speaker 1: got to throw up your whole pregnancy, bit scissors having that,
Speaker 1: Like we're gonna still be doing the show if you
Speaker 1: get pregnant. I gotta talk to someone pregnant having sex
Speaker 1: all the time. You know, I ain't gonna want to
Speaker 1: imagine that you'll be having sex with with your belly? Eat?
Speaker 1: Why not? Why wouldn't she? Like you don't feel the
Speaker 1: baby going up and down when he's behind you? Now
Speaker 1: the baby like just you don't feel like you have
Speaker 1: a baby watching you? A baby watching me? Like that's
Speaker 1: where dimples come from. Oh my kids always ask me
Speaker 1: where dimples come from. It's from the dick kids. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: by a fairy. There you go. So okay, you have
Speaker 1: a good pregnancy. In that week, let's talk about were vagina.
Speaker 1: So basically everybody, it's good to well for some women.
Speaker 1: Some women have like super dry vagina's when they're pregnant.
Speaker 1: Do you know, it's just like hormone levels, Like your
Speaker 1: pH balance is like a little bit everywhere, right, So
Speaker 1: you're eating like crazy, ships so your body is going crazy,
Speaker 1: and then everything that you have inside of you is
Speaker 1: going to your baby. So you know, if you're normally
Speaker 1: like always like why and you don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about using the lube And then you come around your
Speaker 1: man's like what is wrong with you? You know, like
Speaker 1: what's wrong and not turning you on? And it's just like,
Speaker 1: do you feel like your sex is better Chase pregnant?
Speaker 1: I do? I feel like because it's just like, first
Speaker 1: of all, you're already pregnant, So what's the worst that
Speaker 1: can happen? You just let him shoot the club up.
Speaker 1: But there's what's the worst that can happen. You're already pregnant.
Speaker 1: There's still oh I guess back, you know, besides and
Speaker 1: of course okay, okay, but I mean so I feel
Speaker 1: like that right there is just like your comfort level
Speaker 1: and then from there it's like now you have like
Speaker 1: your body is just like so sensitive, so like just
Speaker 1: by like yeah, So it's just it's just like sometimes
Speaker 1: it's something I have days like sometimes it's like it
Speaker 1: takes me forever to orgasm, and then there's days that
Speaker 1: I like come in like two minutes, and it's just
Speaker 1: like you feel like, do you feel sexier because of
Speaker 1: your your breast are getting bigger in your this pregnancy? Yes,
Speaker 1: my last two pregnant. I've always been I'm not like
Speaker 1: self conscious or anything, but I mean, of course you think,
Speaker 1: like what if he doesn't like me or you know,
Speaker 1: like just like different changes of your body. Does your
Speaker 1: husband make you feel good about your body? What he does?
Speaker 1: What could some men that have pregnant women look be honest, like,
Speaker 1: you know, like don't well, I'm not in a bad way,
Speaker 1: not in a good way, like you know, just express
Speaker 1: yourself to her, you know, like just let her know
Speaker 1: because even though if if you guys have a great
Speaker 1: relationship and you tell her all the time like oh
Speaker 1: you look good, you know, you're sexy, whatever, tell her more.
Speaker 1: And we actually pregnant couple at the New York Show
Speaker 1: and it was beautiful, so beautiful, and they came and
Speaker 1: I was just like standing up, so like we we
Speaker 1: don't do um. We had one our first show, we
Speaker 1: would sell. We sold standing room never again, right, We're like,
Speaker 1: we literally sell exactly. So we saw people standing up
Speaker 1: in the back and I'm like, yo, like, y'all didn't
Speaker 1: buy tickets to sit. Come sit. The first person to
Speaker 1: come say it was pregnant, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what fuck, because imagine how it was when they went home,
Speaker 1: because it's just like you're ready, Like your body is
Speaker 1: just like like for a woman, it's just like your
Speaker 1: body is so sensitive. So even just like him brushing
Speaker 1: by me is just like if he brushes by my boob,
Speaker 1: it's just like oh, you know, Like it's just like
Speaker 1: you know, And it's like, alright, how much time we know?
Speaker 1: Because I actually have a lot of questions about I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna knock all these questions out. Okay, so
Speaker 1: let's get this in all right. One of my girlfriends
Speaker 1: told me that she had to get stitched up, as
Speaker 1: many women do. Now I said the same thing basically, yeah, basically,
Speaker 1: your pussy rips stuff. Okay, so everybody, the problem with
Speaker 1: your fucking pussy ripping, It's just that a lot of
Speaker 1: women are coached when they push so the whole point
Speaker 1: of it all. It goes back to like hippie ship,
Speaker 1: you know, like honestly the O B G LANs. You know,
Speaker 1: everything for them is a business, so everything is on
Speaker 1: a timeframe, so they want to rush everything. So by
Speaker 1: them telling you lay back, put your legs up, and
Speaker 1: push when I tell you too, that's automatically you're trying
Speaker 1: to push it out watermelon when your body is not
Speaker 1: ready for it to come out. So not everything is
Speaker 1: ready to So what is the best position to have
Speaker 1: a baby in? I would say the best position will
Speaker 1: be standing. Um, it can be like while you're on
Speaker 1: all fours, like on the bed. It can be sitting
Speaker 1: on the toilet, you know, like it's just the whole
Speaker 1: point of like no like leah, but all the toilet.
Speaker 1: But like so there's like this, the whole thing is
Speaker 1: gravity with your legs up like the squatty right, So
Speaker 1: I thought you were I thought even like, okay, you
Speaker 1: can actually like women that do it at home, some
Speaker 1: of them deliver on their toilet because it's just like
Speaker 1: first of all for them, it's just like the first
Speaker 1: of them. First of all for them is just like
Speaker 1: you're sitting straight up automatically. We can't what if it's
Speaker 1: like nasty automatically. I just want to see it looking
Speaker 1: I don't want to see automatically. Yeah, it's gonnafof Why
Speaker 1: are we gonna get off right now? Man dialed up?
Speaker 1: We can talk about some ship every week. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: don't want to see a baby coming out of a
Speaker 1: vagina into a toilet. I don't want to see the
Speaker 1: whole toilet. I just want to say, Hey, guys, if
Speaker 1: you're tuning in right now, go to Google on your
Speaker 1: mobile device and look and look up what the hold?
Speaker 1: I don't know what I was trying to happen. I
Speaker 1: wanted to sound okay. So yeah, So basically the whole point,
Speaker 1: like you asked me before, Um, why shouldn't we lay
Speaker 1: on our backs? So we shouldn't lay on our backs
Speaker 1: because if you think about it, we're like this right.
Speaker 1: So the baby is like playing a game. So if
Speaker 1: he's trying, the baby's trying to come out, So why
Speaker 1: don't have supp keep doing it? Because it's easier for
Speaker 1: them to have access. So everything is to make it
Speaker 1: easier for them. They don't want to make it easier
Speaker 1: for the birthday house. How is it easier to them
Speaker 1: to have access because if they have you where your
Speaker 1: legs open, they can go and be like, you know what,
Speaker 1: the baby's not coming fast enough. Let me get that
Speaker 1: vacuum and it's like right there, or let me let
Speaker 1: me get you open, let me like slice you open. Whatever. Yeah, wait,
Speaker 1: it's a vacuum. It's like literally a vacuum that they
Speaker 1: put on the baby's head and the out shut up. No, no,
Speaker 1: we're not going to watch that. That's what we're not
Speaker 1: going to watch. She turned it out. No oh, And
Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's just like a lot of women
Speaker 1: are trying to stay away from doing that because that's
Speaker 1: where the doctors come in. And it comes back to men,
Speaker 1: like men became O. B. G. Y n's and then
Speaker 1: they took over the field and how women give birth.
Speaker 1: So if you think about it, back in the day,
Speaker 1: it was women helping women and women didn't have c
Speaker 1: sections because how the hell you're going to have a
Speaker 1: c section in the middle of your country or like
Speaker 1: whatever the crisis you figured it out by doing what
Speaker 1: switching positions. So, like I said, the same way you
Speaker 1: make a baby is the same way you get that
Speaker 1: baby out. So if you're standing up right, like hospitals
Speaker 1: let you do that. Well, the thing is is that
Speaker 1: you're allowed to do whatever you want at the as
Speaker 1: crazy as the sound, because it's just like it's your birth,
Speaker 1: it's your body, and you have the consent to say
Speaker 1: no to anything that they say. But the thing is
Speaker 1: is like people are scared of the modern medicine and
Speaker 1: they're just like, oh, well, he went to school, so
Speaker 1: he knows how I should give birth to a baby?
Speaker 1: How believe in what may tell y'all right, see what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. It's all coming ya want to try
Speaker 1: me trying to share you and it's just like you,
Speaker 1: I love you because the baby blueprints. Because it's like
Speaker 1: it's like, how can a man tell a woman how
Speaker 1: to give birth? I know that's right? How say he
Speaker 1: can't feel he never felt to that you never felt it,
Speaker 1: and he probably won't even be able to survive it,
Speaker 1: honestly because of the pain. Tolerance is like breaking like
Speaker 1: fifty two bones at one time. So did you go natural?
Speaker 1: Or yes, I've done all three naturals? Um no tears?
Speaker 1: Why do you think not on your back? Because I
Speaker 1: actually wasn't back from my both of them that's where
Speaker 1: I felt the most comfortable. So that's the thing, Like
Speaker 1: I tried different positions. I tried the standing and standing
Speaker 1: I just couldn't tolerate it. And then from my daughter,
Speaker 1: I didn't know any better, Like I had a O. B.
Speaker 1: D Y n He was like chilling in the back
Speaker 1: of the room, like eating my food while I was
Speaker 1: there with my fucking legs open and some student nurses
Speaker 1: delivering me. So some student nurse was delivering me, and
Speaker 1: it just happened to work out that she came out
Speaker 1: with me on my back. Final nurse. What do they
Speaker 1: call it? Because I know it's a bride zilla, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be the other what is it? What? A mom zilla?
Speaker 1: So I didn't like I was kind of like I
Speaker 1: was kind of aware of like what you should do
Speaker 1: and what you shouldn't do. But I was nineteen, so
Speaker 1: that then that was I really don't have much to say.
Speaker 1: But I always recall like the nurses coming in like
Speaker 1: are you sure this is your first baby? Are you sure?
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, yo, what the funk is my
Speaker 1: friend baby? Like yeah, They're just like you're so calm,
Speaker 1: and I'm like because I'm calm, Like what do you
Speaker 1: want gonna do? Be screaming? My your mom not um.
Speaker 1: My mom never had an epidooral. So she shot out
Speaker 1: and she had me when she was fifteen, so and
Speaker 1: no epidoral. It was kind of like a punishment for her.
Speaker 1: Like my grandma was like, nope, you wanted to have
Speaker 1: a baby at a young age, no epidooral. Push that
Speaker 1: baby out. Where are you boring? Where you born in
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico? No? I was born here. I was born
Speaker 1: in Elizabeth where I'm from. Bro dub shout out to
Speaker 1: the lady w She came on a show. She always
Speaker 1: says she didn't have epido. When I asked her, I
Speaker 1: just remember her sponse. She was like, slaves did it?
Speaker 1: Like right? And that's the way. That's my mentality all
Speaker 1: the time with a lot of things. It's just like, okay,
Speaker 1: so my ancestors did it. How selfish of me is
Speaker 1: it to do that? When something so simple that our body,
Speaker 1: our body is made to do it. But when you
Speaker 1: think about it and you like educate yourself on having
Speaker 1: an epidooral, things could go worse for you than what
Speaker 1: it can go good for you. So like you outweigh
Speaker 1: you're you're pros and your concerts. For some women, they
Speaker 1: need an epidural and that helps them because like they're
Speaker 1: so exhausted, their body is not opening up because they're
Speaker 1: so done, like they need a rest. And then for others,
Speaker 1: it's just like some women could just do it, and
Speaker 1: I feel like being to the point where you can't
Speaker 1: have it. There is a point where you can't write.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like there's a point that you can't doctors.
Speaker 1: And that's that's where it comes again. It's just like,
Speaker 1: who are you to tell me that I can't deliver
Speaker 1: my baby with right And it's just like, no, it's
Speaker 1: the honest truth, because it's like our bodies are made
Speaker 1: to do this, are we don't When we were made
Speaker 1: to make babies, like to deliver babies, we weren't given
Speaker 1: the time frame. It was never like, oh, you have
Speaker 1: to have a baby within twenty four hours. If not,
Speaker 1: cut that baby out. Who made that rule? But the
Speaker 1: problem is like it's so instilled in us that as
Speaker 1: soon as our water breaks, we have to go to
Speaker 1: the hospital. As soon as um you have a contraction,
Speaker 1: you have to go to the hospital. If you don't
Speaker 1: mean you're like you don't have to you have actually
Speaker 1: twenty four hours before there's like a serious risk of
Speaker 1: you having like an infection or whatever. Actually water breaks
Speaker 1: there like honey, right, it's every that's the first fucking
Speaker 1: reaction that everybody's just like, oh ship, I have to
Speaker 1: go yeah, and she waddled to the cab. So that's
Speaker 1: the thing. But it's instilled in us. It's like what
Speaker 1: it's like what we're tall like from the moment where
Speaker 1: little because like you said, we see it in movies,
Speaker 1: like our parents went through that. Because it's like everything
Speaker 1: is going backwards now and like the medical field, you're
Speaker 1: gonna notice like fifteen years from now, everything's going to
Speaker 1: be like more holistic and it's already getting there. Everything
Speaker 1: everyone wants to just like medicine and right. So like
Speaker 1: but when my mom when we were born, it wasn't
Speaker 1: like that. It was just like you have to go
Speaker 1: to the doctor, you have to do this, you have
Speaker 1: to do that because the doctor said so. So now
Speaker 1: it's like now as women as dulas as midwives were
Speaker 1: fighting for the rights of women to be able to
Speaker 1: have liberty again and have to say because it's like,
Speaker 1: like I said, who are you to tell me when
Speaker 1: I could have my baby, you know, like it's like
Speaker 1: I made this baby one thing I was curious to know.
Speaker 1: So like a lot of men or women say, I
Speaker 1: don't want him to see it, and you know, because
Speaker 1: I don't want I want him be able to suck
Speaker 1: me again like that. I'm not really worried about that.
Speaker 1: I'm more so worried about shitting. Can you talk about
Speaker 1: that tables? But like, you know, shipping is so normal actually,
Speaker 1: like actually they clean it so fast that you can't
Speaker 1: even tell. Like really, if you're like having a baby
Speaker 1: at a hospital, those nurses look you out so like
Speaker 1: so much. They're just like like taking out the like
Speaker 1: the bed pads and they're like wiping you real quick
Speaker 1: before anybody can tell. So if I've never shipped, I
Speaker 1: have no idea. I don't know, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like who knows. So it's just
Speaker 1: like I'm pretty once you because your body starts like yeah,
Speaker 1: like once you start like clean um, getting closer to
Speaker 1: your due day, your body automatically starts cleansing itself out,
Speaker 1: so you no longer have like hard ship, you have
Speaker 1: like soft poop. So yeah, pretty much. So when you
Speaker 1: give birth, if you are pushing, most most likely you're
Speaker 1: going to take a ship because you're pushing as if
Speaker 1: you're taking the harder ship your right. So they tell
Speaker 1: you like push as if you have to, and so
Speaker 1: of course you have to push, like you gotta poop.
Speaker 1: To something you want to talk about before we close
Speaker 1: out placenta and you eat it? I hurt people in postpartum.
Speaker 1: I want to discuss people do eat their placenta. Um well,
Speaker 1: actually for what I was listening to Jesus and he's like,
Speaker 1: I want to see how white adjacent your family is.
Speaker 1: What did you guys do with a placenta and it pills?
Speaker 1: They make it, They make it, people eat it people.
Speaker 1: I can't remember the hair product, but there was a
Speaker 1: hair product that got discontinued because people found out they
Speaker 1: were putting put sensios inside of it inside. Just think
Speaker 1: about it. It's like we're the only mammals that don't
Speaker 1: eat are placensos. Like listen, I haven't with my last
Speaker 1: two because I wasn't as educated, but I'm definitely gonna
Speaker 1: do at this time the nutrients because I mean, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like for me it's like kind of hypocritic,
Speaker 1: hypocritical because I'm actually training to become a placenso and capsulator.
Speaker 1: So it's just like a placentis basically hold on, I
Speaker 1: haven't Yes, I got it. It's not like it. Um.
Speaker 1: I knew she would knew what it was, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure we were just articulate. I feel like,
Speaker 1: explain it the whole way, right. Yeah, So, basically, like
Speaker 1: your placentis like the organ that develops on the wall
Speaker 1: of your uterus during pregnancy and provides nutrients, blood and
Speaker 1: oxygen to the baby while also removing the waste from
Speaker 1: the mother. So it's kind of like the filter, so
Speaker 1: it like filters all the nasty ship from like getting
Speaker 1: to the baby. So it's like an intestine almost everything
Speaker 1: actually like an organ. Like when you deliver your you
Speaker 1: deliver your baby. That like is the third step of labor.
Speaker 1: You have to deliver your placenza and it's literally like
Speaker 1: the size of like a paper plate and you just
Speaker 1: eat it that and that big. Please go back to this.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you guys about when I saw a placenta.
Speaker 1: I went to see one of my friends. I'm let
Speaker 1: me tell you what you look at me. I know
Speaker 1: who I told you a story. She has a baby.
Speaker 1: I go see her. I'm wearing shorts, were in Florida.
Speaker 1: She keeps talking about this pain and stomach and I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you okay? And I'm like touching her and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I take her my hand and I rub her stomach.
Speaker 1: I'm close to the edge of the bed. It sounds
Speaker 1: like a water bucket fell out the floor and it
Speaker 1: happen to you. Yeah, on my legs. Yeah. So wait,
Speaker 1: so it didn't come out in the hospital. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it comes out in the hospital like if you're at
Speaker 1: the hospital, but if you're at home that delivers it.
Speaker 1: It slipped right out onto my god. I remember exactly
Speaker 1: the shoes off where they were converse little tops. But
Speaker 1: they know when it happened. She but it was how high?
Speaker 1: How long after delivery did she have that? Man? Maybe
Speaker 1: this is maybe an hour? Oh wow. They were nice
Speaker 1: because a lot of a lot of like, um doctors,
Speaker 1: they like pushed down on your stomach until it comes out. Well,
Speaker 1: I fucking didn't realize that. It's no. The nurse comes
Speaker 1: in because I started screaming. You were like, right, so
Speaker 1: scream and the nurse comes in and remember her face
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, oh my god. And then she
Speaker 1: goes and tells me to put the gown on, and
Speaker 1: I'm like to get on my clothes and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna drive in? That's the first thing
Speaker 1: I said. We're not gonna drive drive That's so it
Speaker 1: was so gross, but like it sounded like a splash,
Speaker 1: So okay, so you know you said that, it's like
Speaker 1: where we're dispensing all the bad stuff and it's basically
Speaker 1: like the reason why you eat it, all right, So
Speaker 1: it contains a massive amount of crucial hormones. So think
Speaker 1: about it, so right, exactly, So when you when you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: your hormones are everywhere. You cry over anything, you excited
Speaker 1: over anything, you're you're super like your body supersensitive to anything.
Speaker 1: So when you give birth, all of that is gone, right,
Speaker 1: So you still have like your emotions of course, because
Speaker 1: you're still like emotional and your hormones are out of whack,
Speaker 1: but you have all those good nutrients that were throughout
Speaker 1: your pregnancy was the lifeline to your baby. So when
Speaker 1: you deliver that that's gone. Now you can't just take
Speaker 1: more pat you can, but it's just like you said,
Speaker 1: it's the size of the plate. Can I just swallow
Speaker 1: a hole or you gotta cut them half? Choate you
Speaker 1: have to. It's just kind of like it's like as
Speaker 1: if you're cutting like beef, I don't tastes like and
Speaker 1: it says it's sort of tastes like blood or pennies,
Speaker 1: really ironish, but you get used to write it tastes
Speaker 1: like and multiple smoothies. So the way the way it is,
Speaker 1: a lot of people do it just so we can
Speaker 1: cover it. So the way it's basically done. A lot
Speaker 1: of people do it for religious beliefs, like it's like
Speaker 1: their tradition, it's like part of their religion. They do
Speaker 1: it for religious reasons. Some women health. Some women do
Speaker 1: it for health. And it's just like a lot of
Speaker 1: women say that it helped them, like they had postpartum
Speaker 1: depression and previous pregnancies and this time around they didn't
Speaker 1: have postpartum depression. They would they put it in a
Speaker 1: freezer bag for you if you want it. If you
Speaker 1: want to leave with the hospital, you sign a consent
Speaker 1: form like saying like hey, I'm taking my organ consent
Speaker 1: form for your own organ that's and then you just
Speaker 1: have to be prepared, like you have to come in
Speaker 1: with like um, they ask you to come in with
Speaker 1: a cooler so you can put ice and then put
Speaker 1: it in a zip block bag and then you leave
Speaker 1: the hospital and you do whatever you want with put
Speaker 1: sentence smoothies with a lot of frozen strawberries, organic o J.
Speaker 1: You don't even notice it. Yeah, it's just like so
Speaker 1: basically what you do is you have to cook it,
Speaker 1: so you boil it and you like steam it to
Speaker 1: like as much like get rid of all that blood,
Speaker 1: and then you can dehydrate it and that's how they
Speaker 1: turn into the capsules carnivores. Now if you don't do
Speaker 1: the capsules, all you have to do is just dehydrated,
Speaker 1: chop it up, put it in a freezer, and then
Speaker 1: every day you just throw it in your smoothie. So
Speaker 1: most women are what's what's um the guy who was
Speaker 1: eating people? Oh, hannibal elector don't know, wait, where's the
Speaker 1: word it is? Hannibal, right, candible candle, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: handible cannible his name. But before we end, I want
Speaker 1: to talk about postpartum depression because it's very important. That
Speaker 1: ship is fucking rough mine. Yes, it really is. You
Speaker 1: had it, yes, I definitely yes. Did you ever have it?
Speaker 1: I never had it because our periods is lit. Can
Speaker 1: you come in the first second? Sorry? Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: really great because and Alex just have a seat where
Speaker 1: I'm sitting, because she's kind of like, tell them, tell
Speaker 1: us about your postpartum. She was never diagnosed though, y'all
Speaker 1: welcome to Alexa onto the horrible, So explain to us
Speaker 1: your postpartum. I guess depression of what it felt like,
Speaker 1: what you went through and kind of you know, I
Speaker 1: felt like really like dark and like alone. Everything was
Speaker 1: like an attitude angry. I was always like I wanted
Speaker 1: to be by myself. I want I actually lived with her.
Speaker 1: I hated her. Yeah, like I locked myself and the
Speaker 1: baby in the room, like I didn't want anyone to
Speaker 1: knock on the door. Like it was just like I
Speaker 1: say this all the time, like she in there when
Speaker 1: my niece and my niece came out like three months old.
Speaker 1: Because and I knew it, and I knew that she
Speaker 1: had the signs and I knew it was going to
Speaker 1: happen because I know her as a person you know,
Speaker 1: if you take time and it's just like a the time.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can go to the doctor and they'll
Speaker 1: prescribe you like you know, medication and like right right,
Speaker 1: I mean what helped you, um me getting a job,
Speaker 1: like getting out there working and and her No, definitely
Speaker 1: not someone know for some women, Like I've had clients
Speaker 1: that are just like get that baby away for me,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's and it's sad because it's like
Speaker 1: I know they don't mean it intentionally, you know, it's
Speaker 1: just like it's just your mind. Your mind plays tricks
Speaker 1: on you. And like when you go into a pregnancy,
Speaker 1: like I tell everyone, it's always mind over matter, Like
Speaker 1: you have to make sure that you're in control of
Speaker 1: your mind because your mind will play tricks on you. Now,
Speaker 1: when you're pregnant, do you not see a psychol It
Speaker 1: just is that not a part of going to Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't know, it's not it's not something that No,
Speaker 1: it's definitely not a require even because to me, a
Speaker 1: pregnancy is a surgery in the sense, and so before
Speaker 1: I had my surgery, I did have to do a
Speaker 1: psyche vow to make sure that it was something that
Speaker 1: I wanted to say it's a surgery, I would say
Speaker 1: it's like a life changing moment. So because if you
Speaker 1: say surgery, all automatically, people are going to be like,
Speaker 1: all a C section, But no, that's not the case.
Speaker 1: It's something that's going to change your life drastically, because okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I've had two babies, but there's no way that I
Speaker 1: can tell if this baby's going to change my life
Speaker 1: in a whole different, drastic way, you know. So it's
Speaker 1: like each time a woman goes to have a baby,
Speaker 1: it's a sacred moment. So back to what she was
Speaker 1: saying about men, how men should be there and why
Speaker 1: they should be there, it's definitely because okay, oh well
Speaker 1: she's been pregnant before. She's my baby mama, you know,
Speaker 1: like where we have kids together. But it's a mental
Speaker 1: thing and it's just like our bodies go through so
Speaker 1: many changes. Is that It's like even I have a
Speaker 1: great marriage, but sometimes I'm just like who are you texting? Huh?
Speaker 1: Why are you texting her? And he's just like, yo,
Speaker 1: calm down, what's wrong with you? Who? Who am I texting? Like?
Speaker 1: Who are you talking about? And it's just because your
Speaker 1: mind placed tricks on you, and it's like, if you
Speaker 1: don't have full control of that mind, it can end bad.
Speaker 1: And that is that she's bring you guys back, that
Speaker 1: it's hard and for her, she wanted to fight you. Girl,
Speaker 1: I did No, it's not a joke. So for the men, baby,
Speaker 1: I guess for the men listening, for the sisters of
Speaker 1: pregnant women, for the friends of pregnant women, or women
Speaker 1: who just gave birth, to know that after giving birth,
Speaker 1: there is a high chance and even when so much
Speaker 1: help out there, so much for three days, she thought
Speaker 1: she was gonna kill me. For my son, I didn't
Speaker 1: have postpartum depression, but I did have baby blues. Like
Speaker 1: it was just like out like I wasn't enough for him,
Speaker 1: like everything, Like it was just like you know, like
Speaker 1: my breastfeeding. I'm just like I'm not feeding him enough.
Speaker 1: If he wasn't like pooping enough, I'm like funk man,
Speaker 1: I stuck as a mother, right. It's hot. It's like
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure, and that's why you have That's
Speaker 1: why it comes back to even if you feel like
Speaker 1: you can't afford a doula, there's free dulas. There's so
Speaker 1: many different programs in our area that even if there's
Speaker 1: like there's if you like qualify for like um wik
Speaker 1: medicaid government, but it's but it's free for you. So
Speaker 1: it's just like, don't feel as if you can't afford it,
Speaker 1: because I'm broke just as much as everybody else is broken.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just like and I received wick and if
Speaker 1: I can afford, if I can go and like get
Speaker 1: a free dula, I would, you know, because it's just
Speaker 1: so important. And it's just like not only white people
Speaker 1: deserve a dula, and that's where a lot of people America.
Speaker 1: She's like, no, it's truth because it's like it makes
Speaker 1: me sad because mostly all my clients are white. And
Speaker 1: it's because you don't know, for us, is a luxury.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just like pop that baby out, you'll
Speaker 1: be fine. But then you have postpartum depression and we
Speaker 1: scoop it under the rug, like oh, no, get over,
Speaker 1: you gotta figure it out, you gotta go to work,
Speaker 1: you gotta find the babysitter and then what so then
Speaker 1: we're fun because it's just like, oh, you're just another
Speaker 1: crazy bitch like you guys. But like I feel like
Speaker 1: this was such a be very honest with you, um
Speaker 1: like chalk to you on the phone. You were so quiet.
Speaker 1: I thought this is gonna be trashed. No, not for me,
Speaker 1: because I'd be like, do we we don't don't bring out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I called her and she she
Speaker 1: had energy on the phone. You know. When you called me,
Speaker 1: I was like, I was in my mom's house and
Speaker 1: we have this fucking game like we have to take
Speaker 1: one car out put another car in the driveway, and
Speaker 1: like when you're calling me, I was just like, fuck, okay, hello,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, And I'm like, well, I wanted
Speaker 1: to make day talk someone. This is gonna sound really
Speaker 1: fucked up. After Sugar Daddy and after that's the last
Speaker 1: um HIV, the first HIV episode, we had just kind
Speaker 1: of getting him to open up, and I don't think
Speaker 1: he was willing to happen. I don't know how to
Speaker 1: be like just be like no, I know he wrote
Speaker 1: us and so he said he was willing to open up. Yeah. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1: So like whenever I can't find videos, I can't click
Speaker 1: on someone and hear their voice, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: with Sugar Daddy, that was a trap because I was
Speaker 1: he I saw his energy and Okay, so if I
Speaker 1: can't see that, I'm like, let me just call in here.
Speaker 1: And then once you said you had two kids and
Speaker 1: you're pregnant, I was like, well if she sucks, we'll
Speaker 1: at least ask her about that. Shoot, I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what am I going to say? And
Speaker 1: I was working on it, sat down, nervous, and it's
Speaker 1: just what I'll I very nicely. But if we if
Speaker 1: we have a minute, I actually want to talk about something, because, UM,
Speaker 1: we don't know, like I we what I want, what
Speaker 1: I want every woman to know. Basically, every woman like myself,
Speaker 1: African American, Hispanic, we got options. We're not alone. UM,
Speaker 1: don't feel like just because you can't afford something that
Speaker 1: you don't deserve it you know, resources or anything that
Speaker 1: maybe I do. Um, there's so many resources. Like I'm
Speaker 1: from New Jersey, so in New Jersey we have UM
Speaker 1: it's a program called am I allowed to like absolutely should?
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, you know you being here is gonna
Speaker 1: I'm sure we're gonna have all the girls. Right. It's
Speaker 1: like I wish I heard this before. I wish. And
Speaker 1: that's the thing that it's just why you're looking for
Speaker 1: that tell them where Oh yes, you guys can find
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. I am Michelle Underscore the Lovely Doulah
Speaker 1: or that's my personal or you can go to my
Speaker 1: business page. It's uh the Lovely Doulah. Hold on, let
Speaker 1: me double check. Sorry about that. D o U l A. Okay,
Speaker 1: We're gonna put her information in the description. So it's
Speaker 1: Lovely Lives Doula on my I G and it's just
Speaker 1: how it's pronounced. Yes, I do. It's Lovely Lives d
Speaker 1: s dog Sam at gmail dot com. UM. And if
Speaker 1: you have any questions, feel free. No, honestly that's fine.
Speaker 1: That's fine because honestly I'd rather just help as many
Speaker 1: women as I can. Love you are come over to well. UM.
Speaker 1: So basically the resources, so basically the resources that I
Speaker 1: would say for New Jersey is just UM. It's called
Speaker 1: I can't find it right now. We can include it too, yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely the description it see will definitely post any of
Speaker 1: the others. So it's UM. It's called n n J
Speaker 1: DULA net. So basically what they offer is like you
Speaker 1: know a program that UM offer services to women that
Speaker 1: are low income. So with that program UM, they just
Speaker 1: reach out to different dulas like, hey, um, are you
Speaker 1: willing to help? You know, different women that cannot really
Speaker 1: afford to pay for a dula and you just decide
Speaker 1: it's usually mostly like women that are just starting up. Um,
Speaker 1: so if you it's like different payments, like if you
Speaker 1: receive like Medicaid, you might only have to pay a
Speaker 1: hundred dollars, let's right, and then um, if you receive Medicaid,
Speaker 1: Wick and whatever other program that you can think of,
Speaker 1: it might be free. So like it's kind of up
Speaker 1: to the dulah if you want to, you know, do
Speaker 1: it or not. I don't charge no more than three
Speaker 1: seventy five. But that's my personal preference only because it's
Speaker 1: just like my mom's been there and imagine if my
Speaker 1: mom would have known about Oh of course I think
Speaker 1: that's awesome. So I'm really glad that you were able
Speaker 1: to come on and feel like I said, like, don't
Speaker 1: feel like you don't have options, because there's options for everything,
Speaker 1: especially especially with today's technology. You can find even if
Speaker 1: it's like there's some duels that offer pro bono and
Speaker 1: even if you're just that one lucky person that they
Speaker 1: hear your story and you're just like, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm not charging you because that's some deep ship and
Speaker 1: you deserve to have somebody there for you. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't know other people horror decisions and we don't
Speaker 1: support you an end right, And it's just like another thing,
Speaker 1: another thing. Support your fellow business owners, like especially us women,
Speaker 1: you know, like we have to stick together if we
Speaker 1: want to build higher, and you know, businesses anything, the
Speaker 1: simplest thing. If your friend is just selling a bracelet,
Speaker 1: support her because it's like she worked hard on that bracelet.
Speaker 1: And if you don't support her, who will. So it's
Speaker 1: just like the whole point of it all and the
Speaker 1: way it's going to go in this life is like
Speaker 1: we have to stick together. And even if it's just
Speaker 1: like five of you that sticks together, but at least
Speaker 1: you know that those five people have your back and
Speaker 1: you're gonna make it up somewhere with the Business Owners
Speaker 1: show before we close. I go to a very elaborate
Speaker 1: gym in New York and a lot of you probably
Speaker 1: know the name. Recently found out the person who wanted
Speaker 1: was black, and I said, Yo, why are they not
Speaker 1: like out there? And blah blah blah blah blah. And
Speaker 1: one of the trainers told me because he feels like
Speaker 1: if people find out his black owned, they think it's
Speaker 1: the gym is like up there popular French, trust me.
Speaker 1: And when I heard that, I was like, yo, I
Speaker 1: get it. And that's sad because because then it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: all are up and coming. No, that's that's sad. It's
Speaker 1: like you and fellas support those women and you're like
Speaker 1: our coworkers open the door, don't be afraid to have
Speaker 1: sex with them. Don't be afraid because there's some men
Speaker 1: that are scared to touch that women. But my philosophy
Speaker 1: is one orgasm a day keeps that put Tolson away
Speaker 1: and it's just like a crazy medication that causes you
Speaker 1: to have crazy contractions and that it hurts. So okay, right,
Speaker 1: thank you. You definitely want to have We're gonna guys
Speaker 1: your baby gross questions. I'm gonna look up baby coming
Speaker 1: out of a toilet. Um. Please enjoy the step from
Speaker 1: our patreon. By the way, do you want to say
Speaker 1: something about our patreon? Um? I started a post like
Speaker 1: a month ago maybe of like people to meet up.
Speaker 1: A lot of you are going to the shows alone.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I don't know if I want to
Speaker 1: go to alone, jump in there, meet people together. Our
Speaker 1: patreon is our community for puppsed to be host men
Speaker 1: already on there also like writing posts themselves so you
Speaker 1: can actually start your own posts, and people are like, hey,
Speaker 1: who wants to grab drinks after the Chicago show? Who
Speaker 1: wants to grab drinks after this show? So people are
Speaker 1: meeting up and and finding friendships from it, so it's
Speaker 1: really dope. That's been really dope, especially like when there
Speaker 1: was a girl who got a job on our ship.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm looking for a job and blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and somebody was like hitting cannabis. It was like hit
Speaker 1: me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So super dope. So if
Speaker 1: you haven't yet, you can join our patreon for as
Speaker 1: little as two dollars and if you want to be
Speaker 1: fancy home and really want to support us, we do
Speaker 1: have a fifteen dollar tier and at that tier, after
Speaker 1: four months, you can get merch. And this is the
Speaker 1: only way for you pussy us wholes to get merch,
Speaker 1: so support us. We appreciate you guys, and once again
Speaker 1: because of you guys, we are rocking out on this tour,
Speaker 1: So thank you guys and looking forward to me, everyone
Speaker 1: coming to our live shows. This has been yet another
Speaker 1: episode of horrible decisions by I said, so let me
Speaker 1: tell you, bitch, So I land from Chicago. Next thing,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not even gonna say the team because
Speaker 1: I need y'all limiting ship. Next thing, you know, I
Speaker 1: see all these niggas in like basketball gear, I'll say
Speaker 1: basketball gear and mad tall niggas. So I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so I'm waiting on my lugging tall man tall niggas.
Speaker 1: So bitch, I'm looking. So I see all these niggas
Speaker 1: or whatever, and I'm like, oh, finally I see this one. Bitch,
Speaker 1: fine about six. I ain't gonna say the number because
Speaker 1: you're gonna limit it. But he taught as fun and bitch,
Speaker 1: his ass was sitting over six seven, over six seven.
Speaker 1: His ass was sitting up in his great sweatpants like
Speaker 1: something serious. Bitch, it ain't made no goddamn sense. I
Speaker 1: was like, goddamn, And here I go, just sucking my
Speaker 1: teeth thinking about bend in that booty over. But I'm
Speaker 1: looking at team final tell I realized the team it is.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, shoot, I one of these niggas in
Speaker 1: Vegas so I hit the niggat that I fucking Vegas
Speaker 1: like you at LaGuardia. He's like, yeah, terminal, see I
Speaker 1: said me too. So he's like where So I call
Speaker 1: him we hug and I'm like, mind you followed this
Speaker 1: nigg because nigga don the nigga, no bitch. I ended
Speaker 1: up his teammate that I saw it with the Great
Speaker 1: with the Great Sweatpants because I was like, oh, he's fine,
Speaker 1: So here I go. I'm like, all right, I ain't
Speaker 1: gonnau the nigga that I sucked in Vegas because but
Speaker 1: he doesn't came to New York about two three times
Speaker 1: this season, and they hit me that nigga I don't
Speaker 1: followed him and everything. So the nigga I wanted in
Speaker 1: the Great Sweatpants, I don't know his name, ain't no ship. Here.
Speaker 1: I go Google Google the roster, and of course, because
Speaker 1: it's G League deal lea bitch, none of their pictures
Speaker 1: are there. So I had to click every name, but
Speaker 1: I started with the height. Didn't click on the white
Speaker 1: boy names because I was like, I know he's not
Speaker 1: a white boy, so his name isn't gonna be European.
Speaker 1: So I go to all the nigger names over six six.
Speaker 1: I go to all the nigga names, b making no,
Speaker 1: because you know my phone charging over there. I want
Speaker 1: to name this episode. I went to all the nigger names.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying no, the ones like you know. So
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, over six six, he gotta be
Speaker 1: a forward. So I'm I started to click on the
Speaker 1: name Forward because he's not a guard and he's over
Speaker 1: six six, so I'm clicking on all the names. Finally,
Speaker 1: I put the name back in the Google search because
Speaker 1: they didn't have no pictures because I did girl and
Speaker 1: his booty was big. So anyway, I find him right,
Speaker 1: find him on Instagram. I like three pictures. I was,
Speaker 1: but I left that ship at three likes. Bitch that
Speaker 1: nigga sent me to I emojis like ten minutes later.
Speaker 1: Why the fuck did I scroll up in our damns?
Speaker 1: Which Why were we talking in two thousand fifteen when
Speaker 1: he was in college? Of course, because I'm a home bitch,
Speaker 1: I said, Oh, we were talking four years ago. So
Speaker 1: he spent both days that he was here with me
Speaker 1: like already, onesome, you gotta cut your holes off. We
Speaker 1: was in the middle of us, he said, he's gonna
Speaker 1: take care of me now. He can't take care of
Speaker 1: me with you, Lee Bunny. But I wasn't gonna let
Speaker 1: him know that you're not even rich. I'll make more
Speaker 1: than you, I'm sure. Um, and then tell me why
Speaker 1: I did the math. So while we were talking when
Speaker 1: he was in college, I asked him his age, No,
Speaker 1: asked him his age now. I said, oh, so you
Speaker 1: lied about your age four years ago. He lied to
Speaker 1: me about his age seventeen. He wasn't seventeen but close,
Speaker 1: and he was legal. But when he told me his
Speaker 1: age now, I said, sir, that's not adding up to
Speaker 1: what you told me you were four years ago. He's like,
Speaker 1: I said, you can yeah this morning, girl what he did?
Speaker 1: And I, I mean, I chuckled because I knew maybe
Speaker 1: if we go overseas maybe not now hold on, but
Speaker 1: he's kill he talked, let me get off the horny mate. Um,
Speaker 1: I think now they pay seventy K like that's like
Speaker 1: the start. And then if you get a two way contract,
Speaker 1: which means you're signed to the NBA team and the
Speaker 1: G League team, it's like mathematics shut the funk up.
Speaker 1: Plus the whole