Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central now.
Speaker 2: Despite Governor Palin's star turn last night, there are still
Speaker 2: those who would cloud Governor Palin's candidacy with irrelevant issues
Speaker 2: or Samantha Bee hit the convention floor to find out more.
Speaker 3: Last night, Sarah Palin took the stage and silenced her critics.
Speaker 4: This woman is qualified.
Speaker 3: Tell me about her qualifications.
Speaker 4: One, she's a beautiful lady.
Speaker 5: Chic, hunts and fishes and is not afraid to get
Speaker 5: her hands dirty.
Speaker 6: She's only that far from Russia from those eyes of Putin.
Speaker 7: One of the things that I really respect about Sarah
Speaker 7: Palin is that she makes Americans feel like anyone can
Speaker 7: be president.
Speaker 3: But there's one issue for which she's still being unfairly attacked.
Speaker 7: It's very unappropriate that the Democrats have seized on the
Speaker 7: issue of Bristol's pregnancy.
Speaker 8: That is a personal that is very personal, and I
Speaker 8: don't think that she should be attacked for that.
Speaker 9: I think it's a family issue.
Speaker 3: Politics should stay out of people's business.
Speaker 1: You do what's right, and you know she's going to
Speaker 1: have the baby, she's gonna get married.
Speaker 5: She said, no, it's a human being she made.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what is the decision, the decision. There's another
Speaker 3: word I'm looking for rhymes. I think it rhymes with voice.
Speaker 3: Every family and every woman should have the right to
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what's the word I'm looking for? It's her family,
Speaker 3: it's her Oh god, what is the word? What is
Speaker 3: the word I'm looking for? It's like an alternative or
Speaker 3: if you have two things, you be Sarah Palin and
Speaker 3: I'll be her seventeen year old daughter Bristol.
Speaker 10: You know, you and I have always been able to
Speaker 10: openly discuss.
Speaker 3: Think what do you want to talk to me about?
Speaker 3: I'm too busier and now mom, she got out of
Speaker 3: my room. It's like when we have a lot of
Speaker 3: options and you have to select one. What's the word
Speaker 3: I'm looking for? What is the word?
Speaker 11: Adoption is one?
Speaker 3: You know, there's a specific word I'm looking for.
Speaker 9: I'm sure the family will be able to make the
Speaker 9: best decision for them.
Speaker 3: But they'll have the freedom to make that decision. Hold
Speaker 3: on a second, I'm trying to.
Speaker 4: Have a boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Can I carry you back? My mom is in my
Speaker 3: roun wants talk to me about something. Hold on, I
Speaker 3: pay back?
Speaker 9: Well, yes, but I don't think that I don't think
Speaker 9: that the decision. I think it should be not I
Speaker 9: think that the family decision would become as how yes, okay, oh.
Speaker 11: My god, I DELI ahead, you.
Speaker 3: Bothering man. It's you know, when you have like an alternative,
Speaker 3: what's the word I'm looking for? Alternative?
Speaker 4: A different choice?
Speaker 1: Choice?
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, every family, every person should have the choice
Speaker 3: to decide what's best for them.
Speaker 10: You know, the left clamors for choice. We want to
Speaker 10: make choice, we want choice. And Sarah Palin's daughter has
Speaker 10: made a choice.
Speaker 3: Freedom of choice that's different than being pro choice. She's
Speaker 3: able to make the choice that she doesn't really want
Speaker 3: other people to have. Right. Does that make sense? These days,
Speaker 3: when you hear about secession, you think of Texas, But
Speaker 3: Texas isn't alone. Secession is the big word for lawmakers
Speaker 3: in Long Island.
Speaker 1: Should Long Island become its own state?
Speaker 3: According to Long Island legislator Edward Romaine, the time for
Speaker 3: independence is now.
Speaker 12: Yes, the fifty first state Long Island. Long Island is
Speaker 12: paying more than three billion dollars more than we're getting
Speaker 12: back in assistance from the state.
Speaker 3: Located just ten miles from Manhattan or three and a
Speaker 3: half hours by car, Long Island's three million people have
Speaker 3: never felt connected to the rest of the state.
Speaker 12: Well, we're kind of an appendage to New York. We
Speaker 12: jut out east of New York into the Atlantic Ocean.
Speaker 3: How much longer can New York State continue to jerk
Speaker 3: this appended job before it just explodes.
Speaker 11: Not much longer.
Speaker 4: We're going to succeed.
Speaker 12: If we can't, we're going to stand up and say
Speaker 12: enough is enough.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, some people, like Long Island State Senator Carl Marcellino,
Speaker 3: insist on standing in the way of statehood.
Speaker 1: No Long Island should not seceed from the State of
Speaker 1: New York.
Speaker 3: You're a state Senator from Long Island. I mean, if
Speaker 3: this secession happens, you could be a real senator, Senator Marcellino,
Speaker 3: from the great state of Long Island.
Speaker 1: It's just not practical to do it.
Speaker 3: But can they afford not to do it?
Speaker 12: The High Texas forcing some people to vote with their feet.
Speaker 12: That is the best in the brides leaving Long Island.
Speaker 3: It's all relative though, I mean, you are talking about
Speaker 3: the best and brightest of Long Island.
Speaker 12: The most important resource that we have called our people.
Speaker 12: They're inventive, they're intelligent, yigabyte.
Speaker 3: And these intelligent and inventive people think it's time. I
Speaker 3: most definitely like sea Long Island suc seated as its
Speaker 3: own state.
Speaker 11: It's a totally different group of people. Long Island. It's
Speaker 11: a melting pot.
Speaker 7: You got all these awesome Italian guys, beautiful Italian women,
Speaker 7: nice Italian food.
Speaker 3: You're not making it seem like a melting pot unless
Speaker 3: you're talking about a melting pot filled with bubbling mere
Speaker 3: and narrow sauce. What do you have to say to
Speaker 3: New Yorkers who say, good riddance you You guys still
Speaker 3: got the village to luck with that one. Clearly, the
Speaker 3: first article of their state constitution is in place, but
Speaker 3: have they really thought things through.
Speaker 1: It's complicated. We would need through pay for the roads
Speaker 1: that are state roads.
Speaker 12: The first thing we do is pick a state capital.
Speaker 1: We would need to pay for the state parks that
Speaker 1: are state parks.
Speaker 12: Picking a state food it might be it might be
Speaker 12: the flounder.
Speaker 1: Teacher certifications would all have to be done differently.
Speaker 12: Picking a state bird it might be the sgull.
Speaker 9: The state birds should just be flipping the birds.
Speaker 3: Welcome to Long Island. Car Of course, secession could mean
Speaker 3: war and that's something no one would want to see.
Speaker 7: Deerish Gina with dangerously low enax body spray, and those
Speaker 7: suckers from NASA Pequa took go on my three weights.
Speaker 7: By the way, that picture you took of me and
Speaker 7: my rim it's sick. Give my love to your family
Speaker 7: except your sister.
Speaker 1: She's a four.
Speaker 3: On Island's packing some series of balls. Go we can
Speaker 3: get up any other state you got? What state could
Speaker 3: you beat up? And please don't say Rhode Island or
Speaker 3: Connecticut because everybody knows those states are pussy states.
Speaker 12: You name what you got, Wyoming, Iowa, What do you think?
Speaker 3: I don't think that counts. Oh States, I'm sorry, other states,
Speaker 3: other states not in Europe, other states, Canada, Canada, Okay,
Speaker 3: we have Okay, Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 12: Jersey.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, New Jersey's the first to go. Isn't that
Speaker 3: like beating up your conjoined twin though you're so genetically
Speaker 3: similarmed The people of Long Island have been oppressed for
Speaker 3: too long, and after spending time in their world and
Speaker 3: learning their customs, I started to share in the revolutionary spirit.
Speaker 12: First of all, I think they should call it Strong
Speaker 12: Island if they make it its own state.
Speaker 3: I mean, look at these guys.
Speaker 1: Is the gun show?
Speaker 3: Baby, you got your tickets?
Speaker 1: Double guns?
Speaker 3: Because he feels so vulnerable.
Speaker 13: Not really sure.
Speaker 3: I'm capable of making good decisions right now. Probably all
Speaker 3: that first control I'm taking, it's making my mind. I'm couzzy.
Speaker 3: I was drawn in by their noble cause and meticulous manscaping.
Speaker 3: The second thought, you know what, No.
Speaker 14: As a country, we've made enormous strives and making sure
Speaker 14: that all Americans are treated equally under the law, but
Speaker 14: there are still groups that are suffering.
Speaker 4: Samantha Bee has.
Speaker 3: More men from time immemorial. They stood atop the world,
Speaker 3: building our civilizations, commanding our armies. They were gods walking
Speaker 3: among us, But now their time may be over. For
Speaker 3: the first time, women are expected to outnumber men in
Speaker 3: the workforce.
Speaker 7: A new study finds increasing numbers of women outpacing their
Speaker 7: husbands when it comes to income and education.
Speaker 3: And it's a crisis that troubles many. Like sociologist and
Speaker 3: author of the Myth of Male Power, doctor Warren Ferrell.
Speaker 11: It's a difficult time to be a man in America.
Speaker 3: In what sense exactly?
Speaker 15: Men today are probably where women were in the late fifties.
Speaker 15: We're about a half century behind women in terms of
Speaker 15: being understood, in terms of having options.
Speaker 3: How did this happen, babycakes?
Speaker 11: We did a great job for women. We now just
Speaker 11: need to do the same for men.
Speaker 3: He's right. Men run just four one hundred and eighty
Speaker 3: five of our fortune five hundred companies and only three
Speaker 3: branches of government, and there are more doors closing on
Speaker 3: them all the time.
Speaker 15: Almost all your pharmaceutical salespeople are young women and attractive women,
Speaker 15: because the pharmaceutical company knows that an attractive young female
Speaker 15: will be have much greater access to a medical doctor who's,
Speaker 15: on average still more likely to be a male.
Speaker 3: Oh that sucks for men, except for the male doctor
Speaker 3: who gets to earn all that money and bang that
Speaker 3: hot new sales rep.
Speaker 1: Oo guy.
Speaker 3: It doesn't stop then. Even the nightly news, long a
Speaker 3: bastion of the stately white male, is now sixty six
Speaker 3: point seven percent female, and the last male anchor is
Speaker 3: kind of a feminate. Fortunately, help is on the way
Speaker 3: thanks to male support groups like the Better Man Organization
Speaker 3: founder Wayne Levine.
Speaker 6: For us, it's about being available to each other and
Speaker 6: giving the wisdom and the guidance and the support and
Speaker 6: the ass kicking, whatever it is, we need to be
Speaker 6: the best men we can be. You know, so many
Speaker 6: of the problems that we face in our cultures because
Speaker 6: men are not getting what they need.
Speaker 3: What are men not getting well?
Speaker 6: In our culture? There's no place for men to gather.
Speaker 6: It's socially unacceptable for men to get together.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a constant struggle to find places where men
Speaker 3: are allowed to be themselves. Having never heard of Las Vegas,
Speaker 3: these disenfranchised men seek solace in the woods, where they
Speaker 3: play games no one liked in pe class, my wife
Speaker 3: is in judge, and complain about their wives. Mostly what
Speaker 3: they do is gather in circles, the sitting circle, the
Speaker 3: cleansing circle, and of course the most important circle of all.
Speaker 6: So what we got here is a wisdom circle with
Speaker 6: just a few men, and this is where a man
Speaker 6: will bring an issue that needs to be addressed.
Speaker 3: When does everybody start master reading? They were coming here
Speaker 3: with one purpose to reclaim their manhood. Hey, our dinners
Speaker 3: right over here, what are you waiting for? Do I
Speaker 3: have to do this by myself? Sadly, the inequalities holding
Speaker 3: men back begin as early as high school.
Speaker 11: Almost every high school has a football team.
Speaker 15: Almost every football team has cheerleaders, and it's very rare
Speaker 15: that the cheerleader says something like, g you know, I
Speaker 15: noticed you lost your position on the team, so I'd
Speaker 15: like to continue cheering for you because you were very
Speaker 15: sensitive and very loving and very caring and very listening.
Speaker 11: You don't ever see that happening.
Speaker 3: So we need to give our sons permission to be
Speaker 3: puss wants.
Speaker 11: That's yes, some type of term.
Speaker 3: Like that, something puss related. And of course, the key
Speaker 3: to uplifting any oppressed group is to give them a voice.
Speaker 6: This is the time of day where we bring out
Speaker 6: the talking stick. It's a time where you can speak
Speaker 6: from the heart and listen from the heart and share
Speaker 6: whatever's on your mind.
Speaker 3: Finally, it was my opportunity to offer advice to my
Speaker 3: fallen brothers. Actually, you know, I actually brought my own.
Speaker 5: Tool.
Speaker 3: Attention, middle aged vagina man, sack the f up. Seriously,
Speaker 3: you're turning me into a lesbian. Last week, Defense Secretary
Speaker 3: Leon Panetta made military history when he lifted the ban
Speaker 3: on women serving in combat. Immediately, objections were raised.
Speaker 13: There is a difference in the physicality of women and men.
Speaker 3: It's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2: You're going to have the sex assault problems.
Speaker 4: People are going to die.
Speaker 3: Author and military expert Kingsley.
Speaker 16: Brown, women in combat positions are a threat to military cohesion.
Speaker 16: It's not clear that men can actually bond with women
Speaker 16: the way they bond with other men.
Speaker 3: So women can disrupt romance in combat.
Speaker 4: Zones almost by definition.
Speaker 3: Who are these fatigue hags jeopardizing all that military brohesion?
Speaker 3: Meet Marine Corps Captain Zoe Biddell, a plaintiff in a
Speaker 3: lawsuit to lift the ban on women in combat.
Speaker 13: I think it's about time that women are allowed to
Speaker 13: serve in all roles.
Speaker 3: Why do you want to be the one to bring
Speaker 3: up the band of brothers? Don't be the.
Speaker 13: Yoko unit confusion is based around common mission and being
Speaker 13: held to standards, and that is absolutely achievable with women
Speaker 13: in the unit.
Speaker 3: We spoke to an expert in workplace discrimination. Do you
Speaker 3: want to know what he said? Sure, pick a number
Speaker 3: four one to four two one two, okay, pick But
Speaker 3: it turns out Kingsley had a lot more to say.
Speaker 16: You have one or two women added to the group,
Speaker 16: and now everybody's buying for their attention.
Speaker 4: So women are distracting.
Speaker 3: They are distracting one if the women is not heterosexual.
Speaker 4: I don't think that it matters.
Speaker 3: They're still going to try to hit that.
Speaker 4: They're still going to try to hit that.
Speaker 3: I'd love to take out that insurgent. But check out
Speaker 3: the getaway sticks on Major turnball over here.
Speaker 16: Boy, that's really not a funny thing because sexual harassment
Speaker 16: charge is taken very seriously.
Speaker 4: It's ruins careers.
Speaker 3: Really, right, sex ju all harassment ruins men's careers. There
Speaker 3: you are at the front lines, looking so cute in
Speaker 3: you're a Camo and someone comes up and sexually assaults you.
Speaker 3: Aren't you going to feel guilty for wrecking that guy's career?
Speaker 13: Not even a little bit.
Speaker 3: Woof getting a lot of blowback here? Do you want
Speaker 3: to reschedule this interview for when you're not having your period?
Speaker 3: Sounds like Zoe just doesn't get how women screw up
Speaker 3: the dynamics of actual combat.
Speaker 13: There have been over two hundred and eighty thousand women
Speaker 13: who have already served in Iraq and Afghanistan over the
Speaker 13: last decade. Over one hundred and thirty women have already
Speaker 13: died in these wars. In modern warfare, the lines are
Speaker 13: blurred if they exist at all between what the front
Speaker 13: lines are and what is a safe zone.
Speaker 3: Do they even call it the front lines anymore?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: They do not.
Speaker 3: Oh what do they call it? Afghanistan?
Speaker 13: Women are being shot at, but the military didn't allow
Speaker 13: them to serve in those positions officially, and that hurts
Speaker 13: their chances for promotion. For example, Mary jennings Hagar, as
Speaker 13: a helicopter.
Speaker 3: Pilot Zoe dished the dates on her military gal pals.
Speaker 13: Staff Sergeant Jennifer Hunt was on a convoy.
Speaker 3: Apparently there are already tons of female soldiers totally kicking
Speaker 3: ass in combat zones.
Speaker 13: Leanne Hester received a silver star for her actions under fire.
Speaker 3: Go girl, go girl, I don't even have girl talk
Speaker 3: in Afghanistan. Your ice river of melt. Let's do a
Speaker 3: little role player. I'll be a woman who served her
Speaker 3: country briefly and Ubu. My name is Major Mary jennings
Speaker 3: Hagar makes changed ground fire after my helic coupter would
Speaker 3: shut down.
Speaker 16: You weren't in the infantry. You weren't taking the fight
Speaker 16: with one hundred pound pack.
Speaker 3: I got a purple Huart might sincerely.
Speaker 16: Say thank you for your service, but that doesn't mean
Speaker 16: that you should serve in combat.
Speaker 3: That's a great point, except that women are already their
Speaker 3: mother See. In my world, women have already been serving
Speaker 3: in combat for two wars. But Kingsley is living in
Speaker 3: a simpler time.
Speaker 4: Men join the infantry because they want to fight.
Speaker 3: Sorry, excuse me for one second. Okay, Okay, that's us.
Speaker 4: Sorry.
Speaker 16: Girls become women by getting older. Boys become men by
Speaker 16: accomplishing something, by proving something.
Speaker 3: Okay, have you ever actually met a woman before, a
Speaker 3: woman who did not want to strangle you? I would
Speaker 3: like to say to all the people out there who
Speaker 3: really are stuck in another era and really just think
Speaker 3: that women don't belong in combat zones at all.
Speaker 13: Well, the good news is I don't actually have to
Speaker 13: say anything, because the evidence is on my side. Women
Speaker 13: have been doing this for ten years, and eventually those
Speaker 13: guys are going to die off, and we'll just keep
Speaker 13: doing our thing.
Speaker 3: Well said, I guess there's only one thing left to do.
Speaker 14: For more on how solo contrition becomes an apology for two,
Speaker 14: I'm joined by Samantha Bee.
Speaker 1: Samantha, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 6: Samantha.
Speaker 14: We have seen this time and time against a bad
Speaker 14: actor with his supportive spouse by his side.
Speaker 3: You know, if there's one business event your spouse should
Speaker 3: probably be excused from, it's the one where you explain
Speaker 3: how you've betrayed them. I mean, what does someone even
Speaker 3: wear for that? Does this skirt make my ass look humiliated?
Speaker 2: It is mind blowing that they always have their wife
Speaker 2: either side.
Speaker 14: It seems like cruelty piled upon cruelty.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. If anything, Let the hooker stand up there, she's.
Speaker 8: The one everyone wants to say, ladies, Am I right?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 14: Well now, Sam, that's a good point. There are rumors though,
Speaker 14: that the governor is negotiating his resignation. What are your
Speaker 14: sources telling you about that?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 12: I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't really know.
Speaker 5: I haven't.
Speaker 3: I haven't really paying any attention.
Speaker 14: So I asked you to cover this last night to get.
Speaker 3: There, Yeah, I know, I was. I was out, So
Speaker 3: I didn't you were out that?
Speaker 5: What do you mean you were out at a.
Speaker 3: Club like a private club.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, Just hold on a second, baby, Yeah, John,
Speaker 5: I need to make a brief statement.
Speaker 3: Last night, I engaged in activities that failed to live
Speaker 3: up to the high standards I set for myself.
Speaker 4: As a wife.
Speaker 3: I was with a man, men, a group of men,
Speaker 3: maybe a lady or two, I don't really remember, definitely
Speaker 3: though several men. It was a betrayal of my marriage,
Speaker 3: even if it left me satisfied in a way. My husband,
Speaker 3: who do you seen next to me?
Speaker 14: Never has sam This is not an appropriate.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, please.
Speaker 8: I owe it to Jason, whom I love more than
Speaker 8: life itself, mostly as a friend, to confess, to confess
Speaker 8: my infidelity.
Speaker 3: Of his heart to the entire world. I also apologize
Speaker 3: to our daughter. I think our definitely mine.
Speaker 14: Samar are you saying you've also been involved in please.
Speaker 3: Jant no more questions. Okay, this is not the time. Okay,
Speaker 3: hug me, hug me, Jason. Okay, now, don't try to
Speaker 3: kiss me.
Speaker 14: Just don't try to kiss me.
Speaker 3: Let's now, we're gonna walk out together. Okay, hold my
Speaker 3: hand and need you more than ever asked.
Speaker 9: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 9: searching The Daily Show wherever you.
Speaker 3: Get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show week nights at
Speaker 3: eleven ten.
Speaker 6: Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on
Speaker 6: Fairmouth Plus.
Speaker 2: This has been a Comedy Central podcastw