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Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui away now offering free remote

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Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.

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Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote

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Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d

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Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call eight day. All it takes

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Speaker 1: is five seconds listening to us, and you can instantly tell.

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Speaker 1: No one on this show was valedictorian of their class.

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Speaker 1: Not even close. I was salutatorian? What does that even mean? No,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't. I was just I wasn't that either. I

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Speaker 1: spoke at graduation though, Yeah, I talked at my graduation

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Speaker 1: with my friends too, Brooklyn. But we know that there

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Speaker 1: are smart students that exist out there, right, I mean

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Speaker 1: there must be somewhere, like at one local high school

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Speaker 1: where apparently three seniors all have a perfect GPA and

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Speaker 1: one teacher has been put in charge of selecting who

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Speaker 1: among them will speak at their graduation. Oh, valedictorian. That'd

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Speaker 1: be a kind of an awkward speech, weren't shits like

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Speaker 1: sharing one word at a time an already very long

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Speaker 1: graduated Yeah, true, Okay, it's been a lot of pressure

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Speaker 1: on him and he vented to his girlfriend, and his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend passed that information onto us. Good so that Brooke

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Speaker 1: could grind his gears a little in your phone. Tap

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Speaker 1: right now, it's another on the twenties. Hello, Hi is

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Speaker 1: this mister? Yeah? This is Oh, I'm Kevin's mom. You

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Speaker 1: know Kevin from your computer science class? Oh yeah, yes, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course you may know him. Ask Job. I've heard

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Speaker 1: some of the kids in your club call him that

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Speaker 1: computer science club. Um, so this must be missus Yeah,

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Speaker 1: actually miss now, but yes, yes, we get slows you.

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Speaker 1: What can I help you with? So you probably know

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Speaker 1: that Kevin is in the running to be valedictorian of

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Speaker 1: his class. Oh yeah, he's a really great kid. He

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Speaker 1: works hard, he's active in class, so you should be

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Speaker 1: very proud of him. Oh we are. But of course,

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Speaker 1: only one student can be selected as valedictorian to speak

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Speaker 1: at graduation, and there's two other students who also have

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Speaker 1: perfect grades. And little Bertie told me you're the one

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Speaker 1: who gets to decide who speaks. Is it going to

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Speaker 1: be k Job or the others? Oh? Well, so I

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Speaker 1: haven't actually decided that yet. You know, they're all such

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Speaker 1: great kids. I wish that we could allow all three

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Speaker 1: of them to speak. I wish we had time for that.

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Speaker 1: You know that sounds like a canned line, like something

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Speaker 1: you said to all the parents who reached out to

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Speaker 1: you about this. Well, I did think that maybe there

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Speaker 1: would be a parent reaching out. Okay, Okay, you know

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Speaker 1: that answer comes from an honest place. They are all

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Speaker 1: great students. Okay, Well, maybe I can help you then,

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Speaker 1: because I've done my research on the other two candidates.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean, Well, you know, I watched Emily

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Speaker 1: speak in eighth grade at her science project, and I

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Speaker 1: remember towards the end of that speech, she kind of stuttered,

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Speaker 1: And that's not a great look for the school. I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you're valedictorian, can't even talk really going there trying

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Speaker 1: to slam the other kids. We're not slamming, we're just

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Speaker 1: talking the truth. I mean, I just don't think that

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Speaker 1: that's appropriate to go for the other kids like that. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: she doesn't even know how to do her makeup. I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying, I'm gonna stop you right there. Again. It's

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Speaker 1: miss and I'm just saying I'm just saying food for thought,

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Speaker 1: and speaking of food, let's talk about the other kid. Kenny,

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Speaker 1: he's always got food on his face. Have you noticed that? No,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. I mean, he may be great at robotics,

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Speaker 1: but will somebody pass the kid in napkin? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he's trying to get a sponsorship

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Speaker 1: from Cheetos or what, but wow, they can't pick him. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you don't want little finger dust boy up there in

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Speaker 1: front of the crap. I think that this one called

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Speaker 1: very inappropriate. Yeah, I'm just trying to prevent some embarrassment

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Speaker 1: for the school. Okay. You want the senior class to

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Speaker 1: come off looking professional, mature, well dressed. Kay, job is

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Speaker 1: your man for that? I'm like a politician, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm really I'm not listening to any of this,

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Speaker 1: but I will tell you whatever decision I do make,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be my choice and it's not going

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Speaker 1: to be reflected on this information. Okay, they're three great kids. Well, mister, actually, Kyle,

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Speaker 1: is it okay? If I call you Kyle? You know,

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Speaker 1: at this point I would rather you call me mister.

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Speaker 1: You like roles of authority. I like that too, So

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Speaker 1: I was just thinking maybe we could discuss this further,

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Speaker 1: you know, over drinks at my favorite jazz club. Are

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Speaker 1: you rasking me out right now? Well, I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying, after a few cosmos, I get very oh

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Speaker 1: we'll say friendly. Oh my god. And when they play

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Speaker 1: the bosson Nova, I'm like a little bowl of cat

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Speaker 1: food frisky, I'm spoken for. Thank you. Oh god, you

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Speaker 1: made that tart. Celeste, excuse me? Oh, I know all

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Speaker 1: about her. In fact, she's the one who said to

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Speaker 1: call you from a prank phone call. What I'm not

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Speaker 1: really Kevin's mom. This is Bragg from the radio show

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Speaker 1: Bricking Jeffrey in the Morning, and this is a phone tap.

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Speaker 1: Thank god, your girlfriend Celeste set you up. Okay. She

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Speaker 1: said you've been telling her about how agonizing it is

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Speaker 1: to pick the one kid who's gonna speak or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And parents are crazy. Oh my god, you're horrible. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. I feel so bad for you that you

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Speaker 1: believe that I was a real parent. I mean, do

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Speaker 1: they really act like that. It's not you were not

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Speaker 1: far off. Every morning the twenties Broke and Jeffrey in

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Speaker 1: the Morning