1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and this is Bridget and this 2 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: is stuff I'm never told you. And today we're doing 3 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: kind of an inception episode, an episode within an episode. 4 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: And that's because originally the idea for this one was 5 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: painful sex, particularly for women, but then it turned into 6 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: so much more an examination of pain women, how we're 7 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 1: treated when we're in pain, A lot a lot of stuff, 8 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff the medical profession. Absolutely, there's a 9 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: lot of issues. It kind of feels like the hydra 10 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: where you you chop off one head in two more 11 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: tickets place. So we could probably do a mini series 12 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: from this alone, and I would be very interested to 13 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: do that same. But a disclaimer right off the top. 14 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: We are not a medical podcast, so always, always, always 15 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: consult a professional if you're concerned about something. I'd just 16 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: like to say that because people yell at me about 17 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: it all the time. Why are you giving medical advice? 18 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: I am not. We're having a medical based conversation. You're 19 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:25,919 Speaker 1: not giving legit medical advice. We're not doctors. No, absolutely not. Okay, 20 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: so let's let's start out with the painful sex thing. Um, 21 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: So what we're talking about is recurring, our persistent, painful 22 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: penetrative sex in this case vaginal either before, during, or after, 23 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: also called dispornia mostly in regards to women, but we're 24 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: also going to touch on women's pain more in general. 25 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: More to come. According to the A c o G. 26 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: Three out of four women experience painful intercourse during their lifetimes, 27 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: so a lot this could be a passing problem on 28 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: that only comes up with certain positions or with certain partners, 29 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: or a long term one. A couple of reasons why 30 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: this could be the case, having an active infection like 31 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 1: a yeast infection, chlamydia or u t i ovarian cysts, 32 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: having a skin disorder that might develop ulcers or cracks, volvadinia, 33 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: which is chronic pain in the vulva region, endometriosis This 34 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: is when the uterine tissue lining grows on other organs, 35 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: which is very very common, any type of hormonal change 36 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 1: like menopause, vaginitis, vaginice nous. Now, basically this is a 37 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: condition where there's an involuntary contraction of the vaginal floor 38 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: and pelvic floor, which means that even putting a tampon 39 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: or arousal can cause pain. You've also got pelvic inflammatory disease, 40 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: childbirth resulting in tears and paraneum. Lack of sexual desire, 41 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,519 Speaker 1: which in turn leads to lack of sexual response or 42 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 1: arousal and could create a painful experience. The reasons for 43 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: that alone would make quite a long list. For instance, 44 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: a big one is what's going on in your head, 45 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: your state of mind. I know, I've I've seen this 46 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: study before, that's like a legitimate scientific study. But women 47 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: are more frequently worried about how they look naked than men, 48 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: so they're like constantly in their head about it, and 49 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: it makes it less enjoyable. That might make you feel 50 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: more embarrassed or awkward and unable to relax, more tense. Um, 51 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: there's the lack of desire for sex or for your partner, 52 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: if your partner is experienced a sexual problem, that might 53 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: make you feel self conscious. And then there's medication or 54 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: medical or surgical condition. All these things could be the 55 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: culprit of why sex could be a painful experience for you. Yeah, 56 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: that is quite the laundry list of reasons. There are 57 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: so many, and it could be more one or more right, 58 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: if you could have an infection and also you know, 59 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: have a terror. You know, it can be multiple things 60 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: at once. Absolutely, and I read so many accounts researching 61 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: this of UM women who felt like they were failing 62 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: as a partner because they couldn't have enjoyable sex and 63 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: their partner wanted this thing, but they couldn't do it 64 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: without experiencing extreme pains. So there's also the mental aspect 65 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: of it as well. For most women who do feel 66 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: pain during sex, is probably centralized around at the vulva, 67 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: the vestibule, which is what surrounds the vaginal opening or 68 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: the vagina, but it could be in loads of other 69 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: places or more than one area at once. The obvious 70 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 1: advice if you're experiencing this is to go to an O, B, G, 71 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: y N or another healthcare professional, unless it's PTSD related 72 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: or something similar, in which case you would see a 73 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: healthcare professional, just a different source. They're going to ask 74 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: about your medical and sexual history, probably give you a 75 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: physical exam or perhaps a pelvic exam or ultrasound. They 76 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: might prescribe something like pelvic floor therapy. This is still 77 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: the go to advice, but we're not saying do not 78 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: do this, but unfortunately, not all too infrequently you might 79 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: be told to just relax, chill out, take a chill 80 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 1: pill or have some wine. That's a big one. I 81 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: have been told this. Um, okay, well ask someone who 82 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: deals with anxiety. Just telling someone to relax doesn't work. 83 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,679 Speaker 1: Nothing makes me less likely to relax than someone telling 84 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 1: me to relax. Me too. I used to have a rule. 85 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: I would still have this rule if I was in 86 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: a relationship. But never ever tell me to take a 87 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 1: chill phil or anything like that, because then you're creating 88 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: two problems for yourself. Really exactly, and all of this 89 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: led Emily Sar, a woman who experienced painful intercourse, to 90 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: invent the oh Nuts. What is the oh nut? An well, 91 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 1: I'm glad you, asked bridget Um. It is a donut shaped, 92 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 1: stretchy silicone device that you place on the base of 93 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: the penis. Sara describes it as quote an intimate wearable 94 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: that allows you to customize the depth of penetration. And 95 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: when I first pitched this the bridget this is one 96 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: of the reasons I love you, Bridget I said, so 97 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: there's the was this device? And he said, I'm in 98 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: h yeah, I am all this is maybe t M. 99 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: I I love a good bedroom device. It's like, yes, 100 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: tell me more. I don't know everything it was great. 101 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: It was the easiest pitch process ever. UM Sara made 102 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 1: this herself, molding silicone into four rings with comfort bridges 103 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: and a design to make sure that a condom stays 104 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,559 Speaker 1: in place. With the clinical testing out of the way, UM, 105 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: a board of medical advisors on her side, and a 106 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: patent pending, she hopes to start shipments in October. Oh 107 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 1: like orgasm. Yeah, that way, it's called oh nut. Well, 108 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: it's doughnut and oh nut. Yeah, it's a it's a 109 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: working on multiple levels. Smart Emily is one smart cooking 110 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: way to Emily sour. Yes, absolutely, So that was the 111 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: impetus for this. I think we both saw that device 112 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 1: and we're like, what is this? But it kind of 113 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: led down this deeper rabbit hole, kind of centered around 114 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: that glass of wine thing. But before we get into that, 115 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: let's take a quick break for a word from our sponsor, 116 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: m and we're back to take a sponsor. Okay, So 117 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: one of the things that might be a piece of 118 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: this whole puzzle it has to do with something the 119 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: medical community has dubbed the gentle syndrome, a phrase that 120 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: originates from a two thousand three study published in the 121 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: Journal of Law Medicine and Ethics called the Girl who 122 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 1: Cried Pain a bias against women in the treatment of pain. 123 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: The authors of the study concluded that women are quote 124 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: more likely to be treated less aggressively in their initial 125 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: encounters with the health care system until they prove that 126 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: they are as sick as male patients. It's sometimes called 127 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: the gender pain gap. So basically, we are not listening 128 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: to women when it comes to us complaining about feeling pain. 129 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: An article about the experience of women in the e 130 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 1: R in The Atlantic featured this stat the way time 131 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: for an analgesic for acute abdominal pain is an average 132 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: weight of forty nine minutes for men and sixty five 133 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: minutes for women. That means that a woman is in 134 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: pain for longer, basically just hurting and complaining, and they 135 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: are taking their takes her them longer to take her 136 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: seriously and give her treatment for what she is experiencing, 137 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: which is pain. Yeah. The woman in the story Rachel, 138 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: she went to the emergency room for extreme pain in 139 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: her adomint and it was written by her husband and 140 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: the way he described it, it it sounded brutal when they 141 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: showed her, like how much pain are you in from 142 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: one to ten, she said eleven, and he said this 143 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: was very out of character for her. So they get 144 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,439 Speaker 1: to the yar and we're essentially patted on the head, untild, 145 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 1: We've got a lot of patients. Wait your turn. The 146 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: mail doctor on call was so certain she was suffering 147 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: from kidney stones that he never came back to make 148 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 1: sure that that was correct. It took a whole shift 149 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 1: change for him when he was replaced by female doctor. 150 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: When she looked at the results and realized it wasn't 151 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: kidney stones at all, but overy in torsion, which is excruciating, 152 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: lee painful, and she had been I think it was 153 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:15,199 Speaker 1: thirteen hours of just intense pain and to be dismissed 154 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: over and over. And the author of the article pointed 155 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 1: out that if she had been a single woman and 156 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: hadn't had because he was there advocating for her, and 157 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: he was there like there's something wrong, he was going 158 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: up to when the new doctor came into the ship change, 159 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: he went up to her. If he hadn't been there, 160 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: who knows how long she would have waited. God, that 161 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: makes me so angry. Me too, This whole thing makes 162 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: me very angry. Another article from The Huffington Post, specifically 163 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: about pain during sex, chronicled a woman named Mary who 164 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: experienced such painful cramping during sex she'd cry in the 165 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 1: shower afterwards. Yeah, if you are crying in the shower 166 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,679 Speaker 1: post sex, and that's a normal thing for you, like 167 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: some things up, that's not a normal A medical professional 168 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:09,479 Speaker 1: here's that that should send alarm bells up for them. Yes, absolutely, 169 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: but it didn't doctor after a doctor told her essentially, 170 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: drink wine, relax. Maybe the sex you're having is too rough, 171 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,679 Speaker 1: or maybe it's all in your head. I bet so 172 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: many of us have heard that, because of course women 173 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: are hysterical and if I say I'm in pain, here 174 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 1: are my physical symptoms X y Z, it's all in 175 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: your head, little lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just just calm down. 176 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 1: The founder of Stanford's Female Sexual Medicine program at the 177 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: Stanford Hospital says she was taught taught to tell women 178 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: reporting sexual pain to go home and drink wine. And 179 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,599 Speaker 1: I'm all for wine, Bridget, but that's not going to 180 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 1: any problem. I mean, wine isn't a isn't a medical elixir. 181 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: I love. I mean it's for me as a kidding, 182 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: but yeah, it's like we we should not be doc 183 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: you should not be prescribing wine poor people. As someone 184 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: who's always advocating around mental health, if you if you 185 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,559 Speaker 1: are a medical professional, you want someone to relax, you 186 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,439 Speaker 1: should not be saying go home and drink wine. Like 187 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: that's not useful advice. No, no, And especially for people 188 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: who might be struggling with alcohol, because what if you 189 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: don't like what if you don't drink or what if 190 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: what then what we'll give uxan X Like what like? 191 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,439 Speaker 1: Why are we not treating the actual problems? Why are 192 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: we pushing wine on women who are complaining about legitimate 193 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: medical issues. It's infuriating. I'm infuriating, I know, I know. 194 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: Oh it gets worse. Um. But Mary, the woman we 195 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: were just talking about, with the help of a friend, 196 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: eventually correctly diagnosed herself. And I know so many people 197 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: in the medical field that hate that, but she diagnosed 198 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: herself with endometriosis and got treatment. She'd also because it's 199 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: gone so long untreated, she developed vagin i smiths as well, 200 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: and after eight months of public floor therapy, the pain 201 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: she experienced during sex is now for the most part gone. 202 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: But she that was like ten years. Yeah, I had 203 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 1: a similar ish experience. I this is such a strange story, 204 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: but I diagnosed myself with ovarian cysts from watching the 205 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 1: show Real Housewives of Atlanta. Sounds wild, right. There's a 206 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 1: character on the show, Cynthia Bailey, who and she's and 207 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: we're in Atlanta now, so shout out to Atlanta. She 208 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,839 Speaker 1: goes through you know, basically, for most of my adult life, 209 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: I had had intense like my periods were always really intense. 210 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: I think my periods last for, you know, nine nine days, 211 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 1: and they're often like very very, very bad. And then 212 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: I I always thought this was normal. I didn't know 213 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: that this was not normal. And I was watching Real 214 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,439 Speaker 1: Housewives and Cynthia Bailey describes her symptoms and she goes 215 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 1: through the treat and of her getting diagnosed and treated 216 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: in surgery for ovarian system. I thought that sounds like me. 217 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: One of the things that she said was that tabloids 218 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: or whatever often suggested that she was pregnant because she 219 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 1: had a little bit of a bump. And I'm a 220 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 1: very thin person, but I have a little bit of 221 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 1: a a little bit of a tummy, and that I 222 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: saw a picture of myself in a clingy dress and 223 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: I thought, yeah, I do. You sort of look like 224 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,199 Speaker 1: they're like, there's something going on. And I went to 225 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: the doctor, and that's exactly what it was. So if 226 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: I had not, because we don't live in a world 227 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: that you know, we're the symptoms of this. And by 228 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: the way, for black women, ovarian cysts are so common 229 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 1: and I didn't even I never even heard of it, 230 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: and it was this stupid reality show that was the 231 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: thing that made me even have it on my radar, 232 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: and I could. I know that doctors don't like it 233 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: when you come in and you're like, I know what 234 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: the problem is. But if we don't live in a 235 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: world where our pain is treated like it's a serious 236 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: issue and that we're not given the resources to figure 237 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: out what's what's up with us? What, we have to 238 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: take things into our own hands. And you know, I'm 239 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: glad that she did it, and I'm glad that she 240 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 1: was able to get some help and and have less 241 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: painful sets. Yeah, me too, And I have a similar experience, 242 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: which is telling right there that we both have a 243 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 1: have an experience like this. But when I was fourteen, um, 244 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: I was experiencing just a lot of um headaches, like unrelenting. 245 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: They would last weeks, like very painful. And I went 246 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: to I was I was a person that hated going 247 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: to the doctor. I would wait and wait and wait, 248 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: but eventually it reached to the point I had to 249 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: go and I started crying during the appointment because it 250 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: it hurts so bad. They sent me to the gynecologist 251 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: to get put on birth control for being hormonal. That 252 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 1: was that was your diagnosis for your headaches. You're like 253 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: mind numbingly four day long headaches. Didn't work, No, and 254 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: it actually kind of back fired because some women have 255 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: bad responses to birth control, and I had a horrible 256 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: response to birth control, and to this day, I'm very 257 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: hesitant about going to the doctor. But also control. Basically, 258 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: you schedule doctor's appointment, you paid a copay for them 259 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: to make it worse. How can oh crippling headaches? That's 260 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: double dad on mac. I got an ultra sound like 261 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: it was a whole thing, and I remember being like 262 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: it happened so quick. It was a WorldWind of you 263 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: need to go to the guy in a collegist And 264 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: I was like fourteen, so I said, I was a 265 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: guy in collegist And then man, this is t m I, 266 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: but I found out that UM, if you use cheap 267 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: pregnancy test, they tested me to see if I was pregnant. Um, 268 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: you can show up pregnant. It says positive. And they 269 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: called my parents and told them I was pregnant. It 270 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: was a horrible day. It was bad, really bad. Amy. 271 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: I don't have the words. I oh, man, I try 272 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: not to think about it, but it is how did 273 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: you convince your parents you weren't pregnant? I think probably 274 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: my hysterical like sobbing well, and I think about this 275 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: all the time because the fear I felt when he 276 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: told me, the doctor told me, you're pregnant, and my 277 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: immediate reaction was terror, just pure Yeah. But I think 278 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: about that all the time of like I used to 279 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 1: because I was a kid. And I then I got 280 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: it in my head, like how did my mom feel 281 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: when she found out she was pregnant with me? It 282 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: really messed me up, is what I'm saying. It was 283 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: a traveling It was a traveling experience to have at 284 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 1: that young age and you weren't even pregnant. No, no, no. 285 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: And I never fixed the headache, but I did. Eventually 286 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: they became less less of a problem more manageable. And 287 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: there's another study we should talk about moving away from 288 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 1: my tractic space. Um, there's a study that came out 289 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen that found women are less likely than 290 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 1: men to get CPR when they need it because boobies, 291 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,479 Speaker 1: because they're people are afraid about the boobs and clothes. 292 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: I thought that was funny. Well, I don't want to 293 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: mess up or outfits. Yeah, I'll let her die on 294 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: this on this part looking good. Man when they bury 295 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 1: her can be looking for her blouse is going to 296 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: be in scene condition. Yeah. It just goes to show 297 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: how anxious society is around women's bodies. I mean, letting 298 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 1: someone die on a floor because you don't want to 299 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: touch their breasts and give them CPR or mess up 300 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: their blouse. Yeah, that's pretty ridiculous. Yea, if anyone sees 301 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 1: me dying on the floor, you've permission to give me CBR. 302 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 1: Yeah please. Um. Women's pain is more likely to be 303 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: treated with sedatives than pain killers as compared to men, 304 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: and they're more likely to be seen, as we've touched 305 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: on by doctors as emotional. That whole women are emotional. 306 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 1: It's all on your head rather than a physical proper 307 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,879 Speaker 1: even when they are presenting the same symptoms as a 308 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: male patient. And this is played out in what's called 309 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 1: the gender paradox. Women have longer life expectancy than men, 310 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: but men have longer active life expectancy. And active life 311 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 1: expectancy are the years that you live free and able 312 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: to do basic task without help. Women are living longer, 313 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 1: but they're not living better than men. Um half of 314 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: American women have one, if not more than one chronic 315 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: health condition. But for the last two decades this has 316 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 1: been twisted into men are more stoics, so they are 317 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: less likely to report, and women are more emotional and 318 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: more likely to complain, which the numbers don't actually show. 319 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: Even if that were true, the number doesn't. They don't 320 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: show that well. I want to unpack that for a second, 321 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: this idea of women complaining. I once had a friend 322 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: who told me that in her in her chart whatever, 323 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: that her doctor basically suggested that she was hysterical or 324 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 1: difficult because she cantinue to complain about pain. If you 325 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: are experiencing on a scale of one to ten eleven 326 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: level pain, damn right, I'm gonna complain, right, But it's 327 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 1: not if you like, in what world do people not 328 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: complain when they're experiencing intense discomfort and pain? Right? So, 329 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,439 Speaker 1: so even if this stat were true, it's not. But 330 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 1: even if it was true that women complained about chronic pain, 331 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: yeah you think yeah, right? Uh, And I've I've definitely 332 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: experienced that two where they show you the pain chart. 333 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to be seen as a boss. 334 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: Let's go let's low ball it, even though I think 335 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,120 Speaker 1: it's here, Let's go lower than that. Yeah. I mean, 336 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: at this point, I think I know a lot of 337 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: women who could have a harpoon stuck in their chest. 338 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to be a bother, but there is 339 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: a harpoon in my chest. Just when you get a minute, 340 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 1: I would love. I'm sure other people have problems. This 341 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 1: guy needs viagora, I get it. When there's a minute, 342 00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:02,119 Speaker 1: can we addressed the harpoon? I'm fine, I'm fine. Um, 343 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: And these biases can be deadly. A study from the 344 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 1: New England Journal of Medicine, published in two thousand came 345 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: to the conclusion that during our heart attack, women were 346 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: seven times more likely seven times more likely to be 347 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:18,880 Speaker 1: misdiagnosed and discharged than men. The root cause of this 348 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: almost certainly has to do with the fact that the 349 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 1: medical understanding of most diseases is based on male bodies 350 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:30,680 Speaker 1: and guess what women might present different symptoms novel idea. 351 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,400 Speaker 1: The problem isn't limited to this, either of pain studies 352 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: had only male participants, be them mice or men. The 353 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,160 Speaker 1: basis of most medical research comes from studies on seventy 354 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,640 Speaker 1: white men. It wasn't until the nineties that the US 355 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 1: federal government mandated that studies conducted by the n i 356 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: H had to include women and minorities. And you can 357 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: imagine how all of this impacts women reporting any pain 358 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: of a sexual nature. And on the reverse side of that, 359 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: how women's health almost always gets reduced to reproductive health. 360 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: This is such a big pet peeve of mind. It 361 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: bugs me how women's health issues are just sort of 362 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 1: compartmentalized as oh, like reproductive issues. It just it just 363 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 1: puts us in a box where our health concerns are 364 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,120 Speaker 1: other and then there's just general health concerns exactly. It's 365 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:27,879 Speaker 1: like we experience for human people that experience the same things, 366 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: the same diseases, conditions, whatever is men, but we might 367 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: were made up differently, so we might experience in them differently, 368 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: but instead it's like the man is this is, We 369 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: did the studies on this one, so it's fine. Well, 370 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: the man is considered to be the default body, and 371 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 1: so the woman's body is other special, compartmentalized, regulated to 372 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: the corner or whatever. Medical science needs to wake the 373 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 1: up and realize that there's all different kinds of bodies 374 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 1: along the gender spectrum, and that all those bodies need 375 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: to be studied so that we can all be healthy. 376 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,200 Speaker 1: Just just just to sue mean that the white man 377 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 1: is the archetypal body is both, Yeah, and that will 378 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,160 Speaker 1: all fit into because you got from that. Yeah, because 379 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 1: we don't. I mean, it's just such obvious nonsense that 380 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 1: it enrages me. Yes, and I do want to say, 381 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: I'm not and I don't know that you are, but 382 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: not diminishing the pain. No, I definitely am. Then your 383 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 1: pain is not real. My pain is real? Kidding, am 384 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 1: I I don't know. I don't tell me. Chronic pain 385 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 1: is in general poorly understood and not well treated in 386 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,160 Speaker 1: the United So even so even in men, chronic pain 387 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 1: is not well understood, well treated. I'm probably not taken seriously, probably, 388 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: but it's for sure not taken seriously what it's reported 389 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: by women. Yes, it's taken even less seriously. And furthermore, 390 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 1: when it comes to gender imbalance in terms of medical diagnoses, 391 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: I could not get over the study that found that 392 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: women who are beautiful are often subconsciously assumed to be 393 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: healthy by doctors. Then women might be told that you 394 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,560 Speaker 1: can't be sick because you look great, whereas women who 395 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,199 Speaker 1: are heavier, well, there's some are oftentimes just hand on 396 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 1: their weight, which is both You know, I'm I'm a 397 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: thin person. Just because I'm thin doesn't mean that I'm 398 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 1: automatically healthy or even that I'm working out or eating 399 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,720 Speaker 1: a healthy diet. People look at you and they think automatically, Oh, 400 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: if you're heavier, you know, your first problem is that 401 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 1: you need to lose some weight. There was just this 402 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,879 Speaker 1: article in Glamour magazine where a friend of mine, Liz, 403 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 1: was told that, you know, when she went to the doctor, 404 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 1: they were like lecturing her about how she needs to 405 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: have a healthier active lifestyle. Knowing Liz, this girl does 406 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: dance classes, play soccer. She's the most one of the 407 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 1: most healthy active people I know. So when she said, actually, 408 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 1: like I am a very pretty basically fit person. They 409 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 1: were like, oh, okay, well and they change their tunes. 410 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 1: So had she not have spoken up and said, you 411 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,719 Speaker 1: don't actually even know anything about me. You're just assuming 412 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 1: about me based on how you think I present right now, 413 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 1: based on literally nothing. It makes me so sad that 414 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: medical science is getting hung up on these these ideas 415 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 1: is of you know, looks wait, you know, beauty, perceived beauty. 416 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 1: We can't escape, we can't escape, we can't escape. Um. 417 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: Another common stereotype that women might face when they go 418 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: to see a doctor or any kind of medical health 419 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 1: professionals that educated women are often told to get off 420 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: the internet. You're on web and be too much. You're fine, 421 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: and less educated women are accused, um of being liars 422 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: looking for a disability check. So it's sexist and classist. Great, 423 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 1: I get that one too. Funch in there, Yeah, I 424 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 1: really gotta get it up there. Um. And this kind 425 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,120 Speaker 1: of reminds me of Okay, I don't know how many 426 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:42,880 Speaker 1: of you know about this, but there's this thing during 427 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 1: Victorian times. Probably everyone knows about this, but sickness and 428 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: women as a sign of frailty, of vulnerability, of sensitivity 429 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: and all of those things made a woman more desirable. 430 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 1: You wanted her to be sick because it she was 431 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,479 Speaker 1: fragile then, and you it's like that Charlotte Perkins Gillman 432 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: shorts or raised the Yellow wallpaper where she's she's sick 433 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,879 Speaker 1: and her husband is like getting off on I mean, 434 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 1: I haven't read this in a year, so this could 435 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 1: be wrong. I think it's right, but it could be wrong. 436 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 1: Her husband is like getting off on her being sick, 437 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 1: getting off on her being unable to leave their leave 438 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:23,200 Speaker 1: their house, you know, and it's awful. Yeah, I think 439 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: it's interesting to me that a woman who is sick 440 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 1: or ill, or perceived that way was like sexy in 441 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,440 Speaker 1: Victorian times. Yeah, it was one of those things where 442 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,359 Speaker 1: I felt, really, it's strange to read about those times 443 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 1: because it feels so bizarre to me. But some women 444 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 1: used to catch tuberculosis on purpose, oh my god, to 445 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: look attractive for a little bit. They knew it's gonna 446 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: kill me probably, but I'll look good for a little bit, 447 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 1: And my heart is just like that is die young. 448 00:25:54,000 --> 00:26:01,120 Speaker 1: We have a good looking corse. J get in touch 449 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 1: about I swear, I swear it's just meant to be 450 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: we can't deny that whatever is going on here, it's 451 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 1: meant to be. I found this study when doing the 452 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 1: research on this one that I really enjoyed, called The 453 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 1: Grand Theory of Female Pain by Leslie Jamison, and I 454 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,440 Speaker 1: read the whole thing, and I really enjoyed it because 455 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: it touched on like a lot of things that I 456 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 1: experienced when I was in high school, particularly um, and 457 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,920 Speaker 1: it just showed how complicated our views are on female pain. 458 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 1: There's just so much tied up in it, of not 459 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: wanting to present in a particular way, not wanting people 460 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: to think you're like trying to get attention or you're 461 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,800 Speaker 1: faking it, but at the same time, like being a 462 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 1: certain level of vulnerable. There's a there was a lot 463 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,200 Speaker 1: of stuff tied up in it, and if you're interested, 464 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: I would highly recommend going to go read it. And again, 465 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,399 Speaker 1: this problem of not taking women seriously when they talk 466 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:59,120 Speaker 1: about their pain. It all goes back to pain during 467 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: sex where we started, or just in general UM pain 468 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:08,200 Speaker 1: in gynecological problems, though ten percent of the female population 469 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: suffer from indometriosis, for instance, it takes an average of 470 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: seven or eight years to get a diagnosis. In n 471 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 1: the n H had thirty nine veterinarians on staff, but 472 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 1: only three gynecologists, and the first hormone therapy study using 473 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,600 Speaker 1: female subjects took place a year earlier. And if you're 474 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: thinking in your head, M, we need birth control get invented. Yeah, 475 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: there's a bit of a disconnect there. There is a 476 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 1: bit of a disconnect. Yep Um. Last night, I've watched 477 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 1: like three things on actual television now and one of 478 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: them I was watching last night and commercial came out 479 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 1: for indometriosis for it to like, go go talk to somebody. 480 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 1: Endometriosis is not lobbing somewhere big indo. Oh. I just 481 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: realized earlier I said Cynthia Bailey, it was it was cist, 482 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: it was fibroids. Realized that I got them confused. But 483 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 1: the point still stands. So basically, that's sort of what 484 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,680 Speaker 1: I was talking about earlier, is that I, even though 485 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: fibroids are so common, particularly in black women, I had 486 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,359 Speaker 1: never heard of them. I didn't know any of the 487 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,879 Speaker 1: symptoms or any anything around it. And it wasn't until 488 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 1: seeing that stupid reality show that I even knew anything 489 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 1: at all about it, and having commercials on TV that say, 490 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: do you feel this way, X y Z, talk to 491 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: your doctor. Here's what you should say. You know, it's 492 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: a shame that we have to train women to be 493 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: taken seriously by doctors. But then that's where we're at. Yeah, 494 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: and it's kind of interesting that you say that, because 495 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, have you seen the commercial? I think so? 496 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 1: Is it like a woman at the doctor and it's 497 00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: like her voice. You feel that you can't, I can't 498 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 1: got to speak up, tell her how you're feeling. Yeah. 499 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 1: A woman who was describing her journey to get diagnosed 500 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: with in demetriosis calls a time when her doctor told 501 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: her it'll get better when you've had a baby. And 502 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 1: when I read that, I got goose phones because I've 503 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 1: been told the same thing, it'll get better when you 504 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: have a baby. I think it was like sixteen. Oh, 505 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 1: that's thanks, that's very helpful. All right, Oh no, teen motherhood. 506 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: You say, well, the doctor told me, so, I have 507 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 1: a prescription here for teen motherhood and my parents are 508 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: like what. And this double standard of treatment in the 509 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: medical field is nothing new, going all the way back 510 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: to Aristotle, who labeled the female body as a matter 511 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: as opposed to the superior milk form um, the wandering womb. 512 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,959 Speaker 1: Of course, hysteria during Victorian times. Most women suffering from 513 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 1: hysteria were later labeled to be rebellious, are simply not 514 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 1: being quiet and proper as a ladies should be. But 515 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 1: some of them almost certainly were actually sick and dismissed, 516 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 1: So we've done them a double disservance. Probably died, probably 517 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 1: from their illness that people thought was them being emotional 518 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: or being hysterical. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And there's a great 519 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: book on this whole thing, Mind do some Berries doing harm? 520 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: The truth about how bad medicine and lazy science leave 521 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 1: women dismissed, misdiagnosed, and sick. When the American Medical Association 522 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 1: formed at the beginning of the twentieth century, she writes 523 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: all about this. They commissioned the Carnegie Foundation to conduct 524 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: reviews on the nation's medical programs, and it found, among 525 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 1: many things, no quote strong demand for women physicians, are 526 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 1: any strong ungratified desire on the part of women to 527 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: enter the profession, Which wasn't true, of course, not but 528 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,800 Speaker 1: met women were pretty much kept out of the medical 529 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: field for the next several decades. The same was true 530 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: for minorities. The report suggested the country needed enough of 531 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: minority doctors to serve their own communities. Two point nine 532 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 1: percent of medical school graduates were women in the US 533 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: in nineteen fifteen. It wasn't until the mid nineteen seventies 534 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: that that number even got to the double digits. Yeah, 535 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 1: the only female acting as an institute director at the 536 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 1: n i H said, quote, the historical lack of research 537 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: focus on women's health concerns has compromised the quality of 538 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,840 Speaker 1: health information available to women, as well as the healthcare 539 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: they receive. And we're still feeling that today. Yeah, it 540 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 1: doesn't seem like we've really improved that much, not as 541 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: much as one would hope. Yeah. One of the best 542 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: examples of this whole thing was the story I found 543 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 1: about the attitude in the US toward ovarian cancer. And 544 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 1: ovanian cancer was called the silent killer until two thousand 545 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: and seven, even though women were reporting symptoms and being ignored. 546 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 1: It was the silent more like that nagging, complaining. Am 547 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: I right? The impetus for changing the whole conversation around 548 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: this started um at a survivor conference after women stormed 549 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: angrily and quote and almost theatrical embodiment of an outraged 550 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: mob towards the speaker after he said he was a 551 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: Harvard physician and he responded to the question of what 552 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 1: are the early symptoms of a vegan cancer with this 553 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 1: this answer there are none, So all that complaining that 554 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,720 Speaker 1: women have been doing was just going un listened to. Yeah, 555 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: it was a weird circular, like it's the silent killer, 556 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 1: there are no symptoms. Why didn't you speak up sooner? 557 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 1: We could have known it was? I read all about it. 558 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not sure how this made sense 559 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,960 Speaker 1: to anybody, right, I mean, it just it made sense 560 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 1: because it's women and they're being discounted. Their agency is 561 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 1: not considered, and so when they do speak up about 562 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 1: their pain, it's also somehow still their own fault. We're 563 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 1: not doing the thing they did because we can't win 564 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 1: because we're women. Here UM and one of the I 565 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 1: have this story was being recounted by a female UM 566 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: Harvard physician who was watching her colleague gets stormed by 567 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: this angry mob, and she said she was glad that 568 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:20,840 Speaker 1: she wasn't the one up there because she would have 569 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 1: answered the same thing, because that was the textbook answer. 570 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,320 Speaker 1: That is what you learned. So the survivors said about 571 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:31,200 Speaker 1: changing this by sending out surveys, and they got over 572 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 1: a one pent response rate because recipients of the survey 573 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: were forwarding it to others. Um and there are obvious 574 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 1: limitations because its survivors itself selecting, but it was a start, 575 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 1: and it got rid of the silent killer nickname, and 576 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 1: it got four symptoms of a varian cancer declared in 577 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,320 Speaker 1: a national consensus statement in two thousand and seven, which 578 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 1: is so it's so recent, but that shows that unfortunately 579 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,080 Speaker 1: again we kind of have to be our own advocates, 580 00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 1: and we need to talk to each other and be 581 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 1: the community and like push for change. Yeah, I'm happy 582 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,359 Speaker 1: that these women did that, you know. And I think 583 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 1: I think it sometimes it takes a big dramatic show 584 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,279 Speaker 1: to get someone to listen if they just are insisting, 585 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,600 Speaker 1: you know, insisting on ignoring you. It reminds me of 586 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: that Zora Neil Hurston quote if you're silent about your pain, 587 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,719 Speaker 1: they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it, you know. 588 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 1: And I think that as women, we are even when 589 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,320 Speaker 1: we speak up, we have to scream just to be heard. 590 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:33,359 Speaker 1: And I think that's what these women did. And if 591 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:37,480 Speaker 1: you're wondering why women have been left out, well, some 592 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: people have said for their own good it was sort 593 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 1: of a benevolent sex is something that research could be 594 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:47,839 Speaker 1: bad for you and your hypothetical fetus um or. One 595 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 1: example somebody actually gave was there wasn't a lady's bathroom 596 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,399 Speaker 1: at the research site. Oh don't, we don't. We don't 597 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,720 Speaker 1: need to worry about that. Why why go through the trouble? 598 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 1: Ladies and their periods and or hormones might throw the 599 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 1: research off. That was a very frequent reason. There could 600 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: be bears and there in the period could attract bears 601 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 1: or land sharks. Yeah, you never know. You can't be 602 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: too careful with bears and sharks. That is absolutely true, 603 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: Bridget You've turned me around on this whole issue. Women's 604 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 1: bodies were frequently pointed to as being more complicated, so 605 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 1: why spend more money studying them? Okay, So, speaking of 606 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 1: the idea of women's bodies are more complicated, friend of 607 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 1: the show Julia Carpenter on Twitter once posted this absurd 608 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,760 Speaker 1: passage from a novel describing a woman going to the bathroom. 609 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 1: Here's what the passage said about the difference between men's 610 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 1: bodies and women's bodies. When it comes to taking a 611 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 1: pe men, they were able to conjure it up immediately. 612 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: That was one of their powers, that thunder splashing as 613 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: they stood lordly above the bowl. Everything about them was 614 00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 1: more direct. Their ensigns weren't. The maze of woman's were 615 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,480 Speaker 1: for the p had to find its way through. And 616 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,840 Speaker 1: Julie tweeted this saying, this is what happens when we 617 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,280 Speaker 1: men write books where the men think that women's bodies 618 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:08,359 Speaker 1: are this complicated maze that he runs through. What is this? Oh, 619 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,320 Speaker 1: I thought was what? It was blowing my mind, bridget 620 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 1: It just goes to show that you're so right, the 621 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 1: idea that women's bodies are inherently amaze that you can't 622 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,799 Speaker 1: even understand them and they're more complicated, and why bother? 623 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 1: I mean, it's so it's so ludicrous. It absolutely is. 624 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,480 Speaker 1: And um, I have I have some more personal antitigotes. 625 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 1: I feel like we could just turn this into our 626 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:37,239 Speaker 1: personal Annie and Bridgetina Hour, which basically would be a 627 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,080 Speaker 1: good alternate name for this podcast. It really would be. 628 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: We should think about that. I'm gonna pin that for later. 629 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 1: Um I had really severe asthma as a kid, and 630 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 1: I remember when I went to the hospital to take 631 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 1: the test um, like you had to blow into this 632 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: tube and it was really difficult and I couldn't like 633 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,920 Speaker 1: even move the little thing um. The doctor told me 634 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 1: I needed to exercise more and that was that was 635 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,879 Speaker 1: the end. And later, I think it was a week later, 636 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 1: I passed out at school because I couldn't breathe and 637 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,000 Speaker 1: I had to be taken to the hospital and ambulance 638 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 1: and by the time I got there, my lips were blue. 639 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 1: It was a much more serious situation than it had 640 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,239 Speaker 1: been when I went in, but they just dismissed it. 641 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,840 Speaker 1: The doctor when I when I told him about my headaches, 642 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,759 Speaker 1: he said it was only in my head, and I 643 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,239 Speaker 1: can only hope he was going for the joke there. 644 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,719 Speaker 1: This whole episode has inspired me because I have had 645 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 1: painful sex and also I can't like wear a tampon 646 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 1: without extreme pain. And now I kind of just took 647 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 1: those things for granted. Yeah, like that's that must just 648 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,120 Speaker 1: be me. Well, that's what I was saying with my fibroids, 649 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:43,400 Speaker 1: and I just thought everybody has periods that involved horrible 650 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 1: pain that makes you double over where I mean, I 651 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 1: used to admit I used to regularly miss school and work, 652 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,400 Speaker 1: and I thought I thought that was I did not 653 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,240 Speaker 1: realize that was not a normal thing. And it took 654 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 1: what you said earlier about the women with the ovarian 655 00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:00,080 Speaker 1: cancer advocating for each other and like sharing information that 656 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: is so important, because we need to share what's normal 657 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,760 Speaker 1: and what's not. And you know, when you're in high school, 658 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,439 Speaker 1: no one's talking that you're not talking with their friends 659 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,719 Speaker 1: about what it's like to have your period. I didn't 660 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,880 Speaker 1: even know that what I was experiencing was super atypical. 661 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 1: I thought, we'll get ready for this, bridget. I thought 662 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,320 Speaker 1: periods were a myth made up by my big brother 663 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:24,040 Speaker 1: in specific, and I thought they weren't really a thing 664 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:28,759 Speaker 1: that happened Soto And behold May when I was in 665 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 1: fourth grade and I was at You remember the exact day, Yes, 666 00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: because I was at a field trip the Nutcracker and 667 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,880 Speaker 1: I was wearing white tights. Oh no, you better believe 668 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 1: I remember the day. And then a month later when 669 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,719 Speaker 1: it happened again, I cried even more that time because 670 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,080 Speaker 1: I thought it was a one time deal. I didn't 671 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:46,680 Speaker 1: know it was the rest of your most of the 672 00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 1: rest of your life. I feel like there's still so 673 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:54,160 Speaker 1: much mystery about the female body. Just yeah, bodies in 674 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:58,799 Speaker 1: general too, but particularly there's a lot more to be 675 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,440 Speaker 1: done to understand this. And I think we dismissed too, 676 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 1: Like I've broken up in relationships over over this. Over 677 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,440 Speaker 1: painful sex. Well, I think if you have a long 678 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,440 Speaker 1: term chronic painful sex issue, it does require a partner 679 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 1: who is sensitive and understanding and that you can communicate with. 680 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 1: And I can only imagine that would if you did 681 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 1: not have those things having to sort out. You know, 682 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 1: the source of your painful sex. It's only exasperated by 683 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:26,960 Speaker 1: a partner who was not kind of there for you. 684 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,880 Speaker 1: It's it's hard to explain that somebody wrote an article 685 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,680 Speaker 1: I think it was the Huffington Post one I mentioned earlier, 686 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,400 Speaker 1: but she was just talking about how like, even if 687 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,400 Speaker 1: the partners supportive, you feel personally like you were failing, 688 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: and it's hard not to one you start to dread 689 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,720 Speaker 1: just the relationship in general, and even if the person 690 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,360 Speaker 1: is like saying all the right things, you get in 691 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:52,560 Speaker 1: the back of your head like I am not so, 692 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 1: and then you'll take it out on them, and it's 693 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 1: just a vicious thing. Yeah, and I think I think 694 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 1: a part of it is also shame, you know, feeling. 695 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:03,319 Speaker 1: I think the women especially feel shame when they're not 696 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,799 Speaker 1: able to perform sexually in the way that they feel 697 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,680 Speaker 1: they are quote supposed to, and that even even if 698 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:11,279 Speaker 1: your partner is super supportive saying the right thing, we 699 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,120 Speaker 1: live in a society that says that women need to 700 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 1: be you know, sexy for their their partner, their man 701 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,480 Speaker 1: or whatever whenever, and they need to be able to 702 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,600 Speaker 1: do it, you know, a certain kind of way. And 703 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,640 Speaker 1: I can imagine feeling a lot of internalized shame and 704 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: feeling like something was wrong with me if I was 705 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,319 Speaker 1: not able to perform quote unquote in that way because 706 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,719 Speaker 1: we've been pressured. I mean, if you watch TV, you 707 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:36,680 Speaker 1: would think that a woman is ready to have sex 708 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,000 Speaker 1: all day, every day, and that all the man has 709 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,000 Speaker 1: to do is basically like look in her general direction, 710 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,400 Speaker 1: that she has an orgasm and it goes smoothly every time, 711 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,760 Speaker 1: and you know, nobody ever farts or you know, nobody 712 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 1: ever poops a little during anal sex or whatever. It's like. 713 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,000 Speaker 1: You would imagine that you would if you were to 714 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,200 Speaker 1: take the media's interpretation of sex at face value, it's 715 00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: no wonder that people would internalize a lot of shame 716 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 1: around sound, the inability to function in a specific way. 717 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,359 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think of all the magazine covers when 718 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,399 Speaker 1: you're waiting inline, ladies, here's that to please your man, 719 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:12,480 Speaker 1: doing this, this and to this somewhere over. Well, we 720 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,919 Speaker 1: still have we still have a little bit more to say, 721 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 1: hopefully some hopefully some hope for the future. But first 722 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:30,520 Speaker 1: one more quick break for word from our sponsor, and 723 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 1: we're back, Thank you sponsor. Alright, So, if you're experiencing 724 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 1: painful sex, if that's particularly the thing, certainly do go 725 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,160 Speaker 1: to an O, B, G, Y N if that's an 726 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,640 Speaker 1: option for you. Um. Or if it's a more of 727 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:47,560 Speaker 1: a mental thing and the therapist is an option, do that. Um. 728 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: There are a couple of steps you can take on 729 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 1: your own. You can try using lubricant, preferably one that 730 00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 1: is water soluble if your skin is sensitive. If anxiety 731 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: is a problem for either you or your partner are both, 732 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,440 Speaker 1: try to set aside time times that are less stressful 733 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,719 Speaker 1: and like a good chunk of time. Um because four 734 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,120 Speaker 1: play is important, sometimes it's fun to do it under 735 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,520 Speaker 1: a time crunch. But you know, if you if you 736 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,480 Speaker 1: want to have a good window. Yeah, if this is 737 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,800 Speaker 1: a problem for you and you think that like having 738 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,040 Speaker 1: that time to sort of relax and get into it 739 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,200 Speaker 1: will help, try that. Um. If there are areas that 740 00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,360 Speaker 1: are no goes but others are fine pain wise or otherwise, 741 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,920 Speaker 1: communicate that to your partner always, communication is great. Or 742 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 1: try something other than vaginal intercourse, like mutual masturbation or 743 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,640 Speaker 1: oral sex. You can try taking over the counter pain 744 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,319 Speaker 1: reliever before and if you experience pain after, you can 745 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,440 Speaker 1: use an ice pack are something similar wrapped in a 746 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 1: towel and applied to the vulva. I love that because 747 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:44,200 Speaker 1: I've always said my favorite sex to way it's communication, 748 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,040 Speaker 1: the best one out there. And it's free. It's free, 749 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,440 Speaker 1: it's free. That is a that's a good sex story. Bridget. 750 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,400 Speaker 1: I did read one account of someone getting botox for 751 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,960 Speaker 1: her vagina, Yeah, to stop the painful contraction of muscles. 752 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,160 Speaker 1: And it's obviously not a naval for a lot of us, 753 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,400 Speaker 1: but it's worth checking out. Perhaps just reading I was 754 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,800 Speaker 1: interested to read more about it, and on a broader scale, 755 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: we need to start taking women's pain more seriously. We 756 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,200 Speaker 1: need to start dismantling these stereotypes. Going back to do 757 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:15,719 Speaker 1: some various books, she says, there's a trust gap and 758 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,319 Speaker 1: a knowledge gap, and we need to address them both. 759 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,239 Speaker 1: We don't trust women and we don't really have that 760 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:24,000 Speaker 1: much knowledge about how their bodies are working. Like worst 761 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,960 Speaker 1: of both worlds. Really, it's very bad combination to have. 762 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,759 Speaker 1: We need more medical research specifically on women. As of 763 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,239 Speaker 1: two thousand nine, women represented only thirty seven percent of 764 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 1: trial subjects. And this is based on a randomized survey 765 00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,680 Speaker 1: of federally funded research published in nine of the big 766 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,040 Speaker 1: medical journals. They repeated it twice and got the same 767 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:48,959 Speaker 1: results twice. That number gets even worse when you're looking 768 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,560 Speaker 1: at pregnant women, which have been called the most underrepresented 769 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: group in the entire clinical research process. Well, it's no 770 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,719 Speaker 1: wonder that we have such atrocious numbers when it comes 771 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:02,560 Speaker 1: to maternal health and like maternal death in this country. Yeah, 772 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,040 Speaker 1: and it's strange too, because I get it on like 773 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:11,520 Speaker 1: the base level, you're afraid to test drugs on pregnant women, 774 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,279 Speaker 1: how are you going to get that study funded? At 775 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,360 Speaker 1: the same time, And this is in the words of 776 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,759 Speaker 1: director of the Johns Hopkins Institute of bioethics. Quote, we 777 00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,440 Speaker 1: learn on the backs of pregnant women while pretending we 778 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,840 Speaker 1: don't experiment on pregnant women, because pregnant women do still 779 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,399 Speaker 1: get sick and we give them drugs, but we don't 780 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,360 Speaker 1: know how it's going, so we yeah, it's it's like 781 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,319 Speaker 1: we're It kind of comes back to that idea of 782 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,600 Speaker 1: sort of being benevolent, where we are pretending that we are, 783 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 1: you know, protecting this pregnant woman, but actually we are 784 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 1: not protecting them because we're letting them die and not 785 00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,320 Speaker 1: studying what's not studying what's happening with them in their bodies. 786 00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,680 Speaker 1: Another thing we need more or any because apparently there 787 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,239 Speaker 1: aren't any accredited fellowships that allow doctors the option to 788 00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 1: specialize and sexual health. Currently in i H, funding goes 789 00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,840 Speaker 1: to us in a third of female researchers. What is 790 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,120 Speaker 1: H doing? This is like the third time that has 791 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:11,839 Speaker 1: come up from thinking, Hey, what's going on? What you doing? Yes, 792 00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,480 Speaker 1: that is the National Institutes of Health. I should have 793 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:17,080 Speaker 1: said that earlier if I did it, and the medical field, 794 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,319 Speaker 1: this is something virgin and I want to discuss that 795 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,719 Speaker 1: they have not that field has not been immune to 796 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:25,719 Speaker 1: the me too movement either, and that has impacted the 797 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:29,279 Speaker 1: retention rates, an ability to secure promotions for women or 798 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,160 Speaker 1: to get funding for the projects. And also none of 799 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,280 Speaker 1: this matters too much if there are systems in place 800 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:40,600 Speaker 1: that prevent people from accessing affordable healthcare, just saying that's real. Yeah. Oh. 801 00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:44,200 Speaker 1: And also also we've been talking mostly about women insist women, 802 00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,840 Speaker 1: particularly today, but this problem also exists for minorities and 803 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:53,520 Speaker 1: gender nonconforming folks. And I heard something on NPR recently 804 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,719 Speaker 1: about like, if you're in a small town and just 805 00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:00,520 Speaker 1: the difficulty you might face as a trans person or 806 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:04,279 Speaker 1: l g B t Q at large to go to 807 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,680 Speaker 1: the doctor and get be taken seriously for anything. And 808 00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,480 Speaker 1: I think the bottom line just comes to listening to women. 809 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: Listen to women when they talk about their pain. Take 810 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,160 Speaker 1: them seriously. Don't pat them on the head or tell 811 00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,160 Speaker 1: them to chill out or relax or have a glass 812 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:25,839 Speaker 1: of wine. Listen to us, take us seriously, give us 813 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,280 Speaker 1: money to study our bodies, you know, listen to women. 814 00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,920 Speaker 1: And always it's funny how it always comes back to that. 815 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:37,720 Speaker 1: Somehow it does seem that way, doesn't it. Bridget does yes, Um, 816 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:41,160 Speaker 1: So that's been our our look at Women's Pain. This 817 00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:46,200 Speaker 1: has been Anti and Bridget's Vagina Vagina, Vagina hour Deep. 818 00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:55,080 Speaker 1: That didn't come out like I wanted to. Oh l L. 819 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:59,319 Speaker 1: Please yeah, just let us know what your experiences have been. 820 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,160 Speaker 1: Listeners can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcasts 821 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,920 Speaker 1: or on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You, or 822 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,799 Speaker 1: you can always email us at mom Stuff at how 823 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:19,200 Speaker 1: staff dot com