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Speaker 1: This is the radio segment that just put a request

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Speaker 1: into the streaming service Disney Plus, asking if they could

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Speaker 1: filter out all the children's content so he could just

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Speaker 1: get to Disney hardcore. I don't think they've watched that

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Speaker 1: too many g rated anime things to sift through. Just

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Speaker 1: give me the good stuff. Surprisingly, Disney said they're working

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Speaker 1: on it. Oh, everybody wins good. Laser Stories the segment

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Speaker 1: where we read weird news stories around the globe, just

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Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we've got a laser and

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Speaker 1: those other Jiminy crackheads just dump. This first laser story

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Speaker 1: is out of Portugal. A tourist from Azerbaijan was enjoying

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Speaker 1: a family holiday. It was at a beautiful Lisbon cafe

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Speaker 1: when he thought the only thing that would make the

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Speaker 1: idyllic setting even better would be to have a nice

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Speaker 1: glass of pomegranate juice. I got that clip. Finally makes

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Speaker 1: so much sense.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, we have been waiting for years to use.

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Speaker 1: That amazing and I bet that would be really nice

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Speaker 1: to have some pomegranate juice in Portugal tropical Yeah. So

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Speaker 1: the thirty six year old opened up his translate app

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Speaker 1: in his phone and typed the request. He showed it

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Speaker 1: to the waiter, who immediately ran into the back. Good service,

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Speaker 1: But five minutes later, armed police stormed in and ordered

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Speaker 1: the tourists to the ground. The whole area got put

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Speaker 1: on lockdown, and his hotel room was simultaneously raided and searched.

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Speaker 2: Just because of juice.

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Speaker 1: Officials handcuffed him and took him to a nearby police station,

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Speaker 1: and that's where they started to question him and figured

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Speaker 1: out almost immediately what had happened, because apparently the translation

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Speaker 1: app had turned the Russian word for pomegranate into the

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Speaker 1: Portuguese word for grenade. So once authorities realized it is

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Speaker 1: a harmless mistake, they let him go and they told

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Speaker 1: him to enjoy the rest of his vacation. Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: However, translating anything.

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Speaker 1: Again, they did recommend he use a Portuguese phrase book

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Speaker 1: instead of an app.

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Speaker 2: Next, Yeah, then all those phrases are okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Can I get to roc at Luncher with.

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Speaker 3: This?

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Speaker 1: Next laser story is out of England. Back in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: a man named Kenny Cannard decided it'd be funny to

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Speaker 1: legally change his name for a laugh.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe what people do this.

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Speaker 1: I know this is so common.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriends don't even want to do it for marriage

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Speaker 2: like some of them just never do because they don't

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Speaker 2: get around to it. It's so much work.

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Speaker 1: Well, he went to the government and got a brand

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Speaker 1: new license and officially became f you canards. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: yeah he is. No, it's supposed to say it. Few

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Speaker 1: him and his buddies thought it was hilarious, right, a

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Speaker 1: big laugh, and he kept with the moniker because it

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Speaker 1: was a great conversation star or whenever he went out.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why. I feel like him and his

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Speaker 2: buddy's all single just to stab in the dark.

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Speaker 1: Well, now his joke is backfired because he recently went

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Speaker 1: to get a new passport and update his name on it,

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Speaker 1: but after he submitted it, he found out he was denied.

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Speaker 1: He was told his name may cause offense, so they

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Speaker 1: are sorry, but it is what it is, and he

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Speaker 1: can't travel internationally anymore.

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Speaker 2: I don't know your name could get you banned from

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Speaker 2: a passport.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess if it's a if it's going to

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Speaker 1: be considered offensive to the places that you travel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and also won't do it. Don't name your kid bomb?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, good reminder. So he appealed against the Passport Office's

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Speaker 1: verdict three times, but the British government has refused to budge.

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Speaker 1: So at this point he's going to change it back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that would make sense.

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Speaker 1: No, he's not. If you explained that he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to go do another name change, well.

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Speaker 2: It's in the name. How he feels.

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Speaker 1: He's just resigned to the fact that he's never going

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Speaker 1: to be able to travel overseas ever again, his next

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Speaker 1: laser story is out of Holiday Headquarters. Yeah, no matter

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Speaker 1: what any trademarks or lawsuits say. Mariah Carey is considered

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Speaker 1: the true Queen of Christmas?

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Speaker 2: Is she near.

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Speaker 1: The queen approach it? Whoever her latest business manager is

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Speaker 1: has convinced the Queen to really lean into the money

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Speaker 1: making part of it. Oh can I say that, because

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Speaker 1: the other day she unveiled a brand new Christmas shirt.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, shirtys Have you seen the Christmas animated movie?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, so Mariah Carey animation too.

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Speaker 2: It's all about the songs.

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Speaker 1: She's doing everything. But her shirt has a picture of

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Speaker 1: her on it with the phrase it's time.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: That's gonna sell her thirty five bucks on Amazon alown.

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Speaker 2: Why do I picture Santa Claus wearing it?

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Speaker 1: Anybody would? I guess it's in along with some other

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Speaker 1: Christmas merch on there that includes her Christmas Funko Pop,

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Speaker 1: a deluxe edition of her Merry Christmas album, and her

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Speaker 1: children's book The Christmas Princess. The Adventures of Little Mariah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Little Mariah, that's the movie.

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Speaker 1: Show they turned into a whole movie.

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Speaker 3: It's like a little animated Mariah with a really big head.

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Speaker 1: She needs some more money. She deserves it. On a

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Speaker 1: slightly different note, Mariah is also the star of Victoria's

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Speaker 1: Secrets New Holiday campaign, so she'll have the lingerie with

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Speaker 1: her picture on it and above her head. It'll just

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Speaker 1: say it's time, because.

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Speaker 3: Nothing says Christmas Morning like Mommy coming down in Lingerie.

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Speaker 1: Mariah Lingerie. This next Lazer story is out of movie land.

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Speaker 2: Sorry.

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Speaker 1: Remember when Avengers Endgame came out and fans were all

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Speaker 1: sharing the like spoiler free tips on when you should

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Speaker 1: take bathroom breaks? Yeah, because it was three hours long,

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Speaker 1: so all those tips immediately went viral.

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Speaker 2: Is like a whole app around it or something, I

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Speaker 2: can't remember.

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Speaker 1: Everybody wanted to know when they could leave to come

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Speaker 1: back and not miss anything. So a new poll asked

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Speaker 1: if we should have intermissions for movies shown in theaters.

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Speaker 1: That's brilliant. Twenty four percent said yes for movies at

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Speaker 1: least three hours long. Another twenty three percent said yes

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Speaker 1: for ones that are just two hours long. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it should be like halfway through any movie.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I kind of like it.

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Speaker 2: I mean we do it on family movie nights.

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Speaker 3: All right, pause, everybody.

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Speaker 2: Get their pajamazon, brush your teeth.

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Speaker 1: To the theater. Yes, mommy and daddy are having a

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Speaker 1: love making break. Everybody pause. Young adults are more likely

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Speaker 1: to want the intermission than old folks, who will proudly

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Speaker 1: boast about back in the day when they sat through

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Speaker 1: Gone with the Wind, Damn Tired. Two other important stats,

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Speaker 1: twenty five percent said a movie should never have an intermission, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and twelve percent said all movies should have intermissions, no

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Speaker 1: matter the lan.

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Speaker 3: The people that are saying never, like my dad, who

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Speaker 3: literally sleeps through the entire day.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: So it looks like we're all gonna have to agree

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Speaker 1: to disagree. Actually, this guy is in a disagreement with

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Speaker 1: Brooks Left Shoe right now. He wants to blindfold it.

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Speaker 1: But the shoe wants to do it the old fashioned way.

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Speaker 1: Layson's tight. That now means Laser Stories is over for

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Speaker 1: the day. We'll do it again, same time

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Speaker 2: On Wednesday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,