Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hello, Hello, welcome to the studio.
Speaker 2: Are you going to tell people who I am? Before that?
Speaker 1: Even I was going to apologize for the smell of
Speaker 1: egg salad. I don't know why it smells like egg
Speaker 1: salad in here. It's not like I was eating an
Speaker 1: egg salad sandwich or anything.
Speaker 3: But what's those little pieces of yolk that are stuck
Speaker 3: all over your beard?
Speaker 2: Nothing?
Speaker 1: That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence.
Speaker 1: I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the studio strutting around
Speaker 1: with an egg salad sandwich pocon add of his fanny
Speaker 1: pack like he owned the joint. So there's some circumstantial evidence.
Speaker 1: You might want to investigate, you intrepid reporter. You so hello,
Speaker 1: Stevie Lane, producer, Yes, of.
Speaker 3: The of the episode that we're about to listen to Brandon. Yeah, Brandon,
Speaker 3: I will say, And he doesn't even know this. He's
Speaker 3: not even gonna know this till he listens to this. Yeah,
Speaker 3: one of my all time favorite guests. I think, really, yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. He just had such a nice attitude,
Speaker 3: and I feel like I feel like the two of
Speaker 3: you had a really lovely rapport.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was like an example of how sometimes
Speaker 1: a small question can have like a lot of emotional
Speaker 1: impact and can just really echo through the years. And
Speaker 1: you know, with these updates, a lot of times I
Speaker 1: start off by saying that the subject of the episode
Speaker 1: has gone through a lot of changes. But in the
Speaker 1: case with Brandon, I will say that change seems like
Speaker 1: too slight a word. I would say that Brandon has
Speaker 1: gone through some transformations.
Speaker 4: Hmm.
Speaker 1: So here's Brandon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a fun one.
Speaker 1: It is a fun one. And after the episode, if
Speaker 1: you stick around, I'm going to catch up with Brandon
Speaker 1: and we're gonna see who Brandon has become since we
Speaker 1: last spoke, Jackie, I have some good news. Well, it
Speaker 1: seems like there's some interest in turning the Heavyweight podcast
Speaker 1: into a TV show. So I was just calling to
Speaker 1: see who maybe you know who you want to play, Jackie.
Speaker 1: I was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino, Don John
Speaker 1: No one's gonna watch your show.
Speaker 2: Baby, what did you just say? You heard this?
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm confused on two counts. A that you would
Speaker 1: say something so cruel and that b you would punctuate
Speaker 1: it with babe. You know a lot of people believe
Speaker 1: in this project. Why would you laugh at that?
Speaker 5: A lot of people believe in this project.
Speaker 1: From Gimblet Media. I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight.
Speaker 1: Today's episode Brandon right after the break.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on.
Speaker 1: This is Brandon. He's thirty three years old in wearing
Speaker 1: a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan is in
Speaker 1: a sun dress, and together they're about to enter the
Speaker 1: New Palestine High School prom. Megan is the school's our teacher,
Speaker 1: but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She
Speaker 1: introduces him to the other teachers. At a certain point,
Speaker 1: they're interrupted by the announcement of prompt King and Queens.
Speaker 6: A students.
Speaker 1: While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with
Speaker 1: her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some
Speaker 1: are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth.
Speaker 1: There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves.
Speaker 1: But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless
Speaker 1: kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of
Speaker 1: himself when he was a teenager and his own prom
Speaker 1: Brandon thinks about his prom a lot and the improbable
Speaker 1: path that led him to it, which began when he
Speaker 1: was just a little kid.
Speaker 7: Through middle school and junior high I had a lot
Speaker 7: of bullying problems.
Speaker 2: That was kind of an easy target.
Speaker 1: There were a number of things that made him run.
Speaker 7: First, I'm like still a big guy now, but I was.
Speaker 7: I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest.
Speaker 1: Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in, Like the
Speaker 1: time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of
Speaker 1: his head.
Speaker 2: I just thought, like sports, that's that's cool.
Speaker 1: So it made your head look like a running shoe exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I sat in front of this kid named Cyril, and
Speaker 7: he said it looked like a hockey stick, and that
Speaker 7: was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick,
Speaker 7: that is not a Nike swoosh.
Speaker 1: Finally, Brandon was a Coda, a child of deaf adults.
Speaker 1: His family attended a deaf church and spends a lot
Speaker 1: of time in the deaf community. He says he was
Speaker 1: brought up with different social.
Speaker 7: Norms like volume, like volume is not a concern around
Speaker 7: deaf people and in a deaf environment, and then of
Speaker 7: course it is around hearing people, So.
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 7: Like any examples, Yeah, like school, where it's like time
Speaker 7: to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself
Speaker 7: or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know.
Speaker 1: Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less
Speaker 1: space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward.
Speaker 7: I think I wanted to put off a harder like
Speaker 7: you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on
Speaker 7: the inside. So wearing hot topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes,
Speaker 7: and trying to just like keep your hoodie on and
Speaker 7: get through the day.
Speaker 1: And for the most part, Randon succeeded in going unnoticed
Speaker 1: until the spring of his senior year. Brandon was sitting
Speaker 1: at the back of a classroom during a free period,
Speaker 1: eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates
Speaker 1: were talking about a prom, and among the group was
Speaker 1: a girl named Ali. She was going on about what
Speaker 1: a great night it was going to be, how excited
Speaker 1: she was.
Speaker 7: She had like long blonde hair with highlights, big features,
Speaker 7: like big eyes, She had a big smile.
Speaker 4: Hmm.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like when she smiled, she looked really happy, hmm.
Speaker 7: And I think she kind of pulled me into the
Speaker 7: conversation by directing some of those questions at me, like
Speaker 7: are you going to prom?
Speaker 2: Who are you going to prom with?
Speaker 1: Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend
Speaker 1: nor any prospects for a date, and he was confused
Speaker 1: about why Ali was talking to him. Brandon says they'd
Speaker 1: barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds.
Speaker 1: Ali was in student government. She was popular and beautiful.
Speaker 7: She was just really well put together, clean and you hmm, No,
Speaker 7: that's not a word I've used to describe myself in
Speaker 7: high school. I mean like I would like smell my
Speaker 7: clothes before I before I put them on in the morning,
Speaker 7: you know, like I.
Speaker 2: Got dressed from the floor, okay, in my bedroom?
Speaker 1: No, I mean yeah. And yet Ali kept throwing questions
Speaker 1: at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go,
Speaker 1: who would he take? Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she
Speaker 1: turned back to her friends and leave him alone, but
Speaker 1: instead she rose from her seat and began striding towards him.
Speaker 2: Inside, I was like, uh, like inflamed, do you know
Speaker 2: what an?
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: Like my heart my heart rate was rising.
Speaker 1: With each question, Ali moved closer and closer until she
Speaker 1: was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him.
Speaker 1: Then she did something that still flummixes Brandon fifteen years later.
Speaker 7: She just kind of outright said, take me to prom, Like,
Speaker 7: go to prom, take me, Let's go together. I immediately
Speaker 7: had questions, questions like, why, why me?
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 7: I guess I was skeptical, this is some kind of trick. Hmm,
Speaker 7: you know, why would you be asking me this other
Speaker 7: than to setting me up for a punchline or something
Speaker 7: like that.
Speaker 2: But no punchline really came, so I just agreed.
Speaker 1: On the big night, Brandon met up with Ali and
Speaker 1: her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend
Speaker 1: Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town.
Speaker 1: Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage
Speaker 1: and a bright blue necktie that matched Ali's stress. Before
Speaker 1: leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture.
Speaker 1: Did you like just feel like saying, why the heck
Speaker 1: am I here right? What happened? Was this a mistake?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Yeah, I would have loved an answer to that question,
Speaker 7: but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it.
Speaker 1: You know, do you still have that prom photo that
Speaker 1: you guys took?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 7: To be honest, I'm not even sure I ever got it,
Speaker 7: So I don't think I ever even saw that picture.
Speaker 4: Hmm.
Speaker 1: What do you think you would see in that photo?
Speaker 2: I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, why.
Speaker 7: It would be a line of like beautiful high schoolers,
Speaker 7: you know, and like me. There just feels like if
Speaker 7: your eyes set on me for a little too long,
Speaker 7: that maybe you'd be able to see that it didn't
Speaker 7: fit in.
Speaker 1: Ali and her friends looked like the girls in those
Speaker 1: movies about prom, and those girls always had guys who
Speaker 1: gave them the time of their lives. For Brandon, a
Speaker 1: sense of duty kicked in.
Speaker 7: It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this
Speaker 7: is going to be a big deal in Ali's life forever,
Speaker 7: and I have a big responsibility as her date to
Speaker 7: make sure that I live up to this position.
Speaker 1: Hmm.
Speaker 2: I was really really nervous.
Speaker 1: Did you guys did you nally slow dance? I pretty
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like when I asked these questions,
Speaker 1: I feel like Hannibal Lecter, Yeah, like I'm asking these
Speaker 1: questions from a straight jacket in a cell. Did you
Speaker 1: slow dance? Did you slow dance?
Speaker 7: I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking, like,
Speaker 7: it's funny that in TV shows and in movies this
Speaker 7: is such a big deal. But it's just standing like
Speaker 7: you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah, Like that's
Speaker 7: not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop
Speaker 7: dance crew and youth group. You know that was hard.
Speaker 1: Wait, you were in a sorry repeat that you were
Speaker 1: in a hip hop dance youth group.
Speaker 7: What Yeah, So the church I went to was just
Speaker 7: like through a lot of performances and.
Speaker 2: Hip hop dance that happened.
Speaker 1: Did you ever at any point break out any of
Speaker 1: your Christian youth group hip hop move on the dance floor?
Speaker 1: Do you do anything like on the floor like where
Speaker 1: you spin on your back or you didn't You didn't
Speaker 1: want to ruin the rental, wanted to get your deposit
Speaker 1: At the prom, Brandon popped for the Lord and locked
Speaker 1: for the Lord. He made Ali's friends laugh, And it
Speaker 1: was right there on the dance floor, the place one
Speaker 1: might expect a high school boy to feel the most
Speaker 1: self conscious that Brandon felt most the ease he was
Speaker 1: a part of the group of a group that.
Speaker 7: Kind of felt like a resolution of what all of
Speaker 7: grade school was like for me. You know, I never
Speaker 7: felt safe enough to bring my true self into that space.
Speaker 7: But like, dancing around at prom with your peers is
Speaker 7: like one of the most vulnerable things you can do,
Speaker 7: and it came out on the other end of it, Okay.
Speaker 1: At the end of the prom, Ali and all her
Speaker 1: friends headed to one of their classmates houses for the
Speaker 1: after party, but having never been to a house party,
Speaker 1: Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye
Speaker 1: to Ali?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 1: And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking
Speaker 1: with her singer in school after that night.
Speaker 7: I had to have because we both went back to school,
Speaker 7: But I don't have any specific memories of talking to
Speaker 7: her again.
Speaker 1: Prom is supposed to stay with you for the rest
Speaker 1: of your life, and for Brandon it has, but eclipsing
Speaker 1: the dancing, the music, the last night out with his
Speaker 1: peers is a lingering question.
Speaker 2: Which was like, whind me out of all the people
Speaker 2: that you could be going with.
Speaker 7: Maybe it was one of those situations where all of
Speaker 7: these people out there are thinking, well, Ali's taken, She's
Speaker 7: totally going to problem with somebody already, I'll have to
Speaker 7: ask somebody else, you know, and then leaves her without
Speaker 7: a prom date. If that was what was going on,
Speaker 7: maybe maybe she just had a breakup. Maybe I was
Speaker 7: part of a charity case.
Speaker 1: So you want to ask her why why did she
Speaker 1: pick you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, I want to know that. Yeah.
Speaker 7: Without her, I wouldn't have gone to problem. It would
Speaker 7: have just been another thing on my list of things
Speaker 7: I regret from high school, you know, But it's not
Speaker 7: on that list. It's on the shorter list of things
Speaker 7: that I feel. Okay, Yeah, I'd like to think her.
Speaker 1: I'm just nervous, which is why Brandon has reached out
Speaker 1: to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can
Speaker 1: always jump in.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 1: I've just assumed I'm going to be coming along to
Speaker 1: chaperone after the break I chaperonn Brandon back to high school.
Speaker 1: Before Brandon can ask Ali the question that's been on
Speaker 1: his mind since senior year, we first need to track
Speaker 1: her down. Her last name is Schmotz, Schmutz. I'm just
Speaker 1: making that up. Brandon's part of a Facebook group for
Speaker 1: his high school graduating class, and Ali's a member of
Speaker 1: the group as well. Does that mean that you can
Speaker 1: have a better chance of messaging or through that group?
Speaker 7: I mean, like, if I were going to use the group,
Speaker 7: it would be making a post for my whole graduating classes.
Speaker 1: Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just
Speaker 1: going to put this out there to everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're not Ali, please don't read this.
Speaker 1: But Ali, I just want to say, hey, hit me up.
Speaker 1: Here are my digits. Everybody else, just lose this number.
Speaker 1: Maybe Facebook friend her.
Speaker 2: I could do that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'd have to change my name on Facebook. My
Speaker 7: name hasn't been my real name for a long time.
Speaker 1: What's what's the name that you operate under? Oak Tree?
Speaker 1: Just oak Tree, just oak Tree. I can't even find
Speaker 1: you as brand. I'd have to look up oak Tree.
Speaker 2: That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds
Speaker 2: of words it lets me have as a name.
Speaker 1: Can you change your name from oak Tree to Brandon?
Speaker 2: Probably a good idea.
Speaker 1: Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole
Speaker 1: about how like my name's not really oak Tree. This
Speaker 1: is Brandon, by the way, you remember from high school.
Speaker 1: And so the mighty oak Tree sheds his leaves and
Speaker 1: his name and the mighty Brandon sends Ali a friend request.
Speaker 1: A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Ali has
Speaker 1: accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her
Speaker 1: a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already.
Speaker 2: Yeah you could you read it? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Hi Ali? Good so far casual?
Speaker 2: Okay? Cool? Go ahead?
Speaker 7: Yeah, Hi Ali, maybe you'll remember me we were prompt dating.
Speaker 1: As Brandon reads me a draft, I focus my Keen
Speaker 1: podcast producer's ear.
Speaker 2: By my recollection. It was your idea for us to
Speaker 2: go to prom together.
Speaker 1: Now let me pause, sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not
Speaker 1: actually underlining that though I did italicize it. It was
Speaker 1: your idea for us to go to prom together. Is
Speaker 1: that what you're saying?
Speaker 2: Yeah? It sounds accusatory out loud.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so me, Yeah, maybe we'll do italicize that part. Okay,
Speaker 1: keep going.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 1: Brandon tells Ali that he still thinks about their prom.
Speaker 1: He says he wants to talk to her about it.
Speaker 1: Would you be up for that? Okay? Okay, let's take
Speaker 1: a look at this here. Okay, so maybe you'll remember.
Speaker 1: As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry
Speaker 1: suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a
Speaker 1: way to work in the fact that you're married, you know.
Speaker 2: How about just I'm married? But I'll just start with it. Hey, listen,
Speaker 2: I'm taking.
Speaker 1: Speaking as a married man. Me and my wife were wondering.
Speaker 1: That is my wife and I. We were wondering the
Speaker 1: other night after making love.
Speaker 7: Yeah's need to be doing good work, and I hope
Speaker 7: you're well.
Speaker 2: All the best.
Speaker 1: Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to
Speaker 1: hits end.
Speaker 2: Should I go ahead and do it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead, HiT's end.
Speaker 2: Enter, it's sent.
Speaker 1: Congratulations, thank you. A week later, Allie writes back, she's
Speaker 1: willing to talk, So that's good.
Speaker 2: It's a positive response.
Speaker 1: I look at you. You're you're you're giddy, You're giddy
Speaker 1: with expectation.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Can you tell us to keep wiping my face
Speaker 2: and touching my eyes?
Speaker 1: Would it be fun to do it on a video call? Sure?
Speaker 2: Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you still have the suit that you wore to
Speaker 1: your prom I'll be like I never took it off.
Speaker 1: Any things that you want me to bring up, just
Speaker 1: kind of like conversationally, awards or any upcoming projects, that
Speaker 1: you want to promote or.
Speaker 2: No, keep it organic whatever cool cool.
Speaker 1: I can keep it organic cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, I'm getting a little bit of static on
Speaker 1: your end.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Hello better.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 1: On the day of the video call with Ali, Brandon
Speaker 1: and I get on early and wait.
Speaker 7: It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of
Speaker 7: my high school self. Like I'm hey, hi, Allie, Hi,
Speaker 7: how are you good?
Speaker 1: Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth.
Speaker 1: She's wearing a blue patterned blouse that matches the blue
Speaker 1: of her nails.
Speaker 7: I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile.
Speaker 7: You live in Carmel, and you have a baby.
Speaker 6: I have two daughters, a three year old and a
Speaker 6: two year old.
Speaker 2: Awesome, they're right here.
Speaker 6: On my wall.
Speaker 1: Brandon and Alley catch up.
Speaker 9: The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise
Speaker 9: a feat. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element.
Speaker 9: And then of course the grandparents are here.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I figured that was part of it. Just a family.
Speaker 2: It's a huge reason they're.
Speaker 6: Always willing to.
Speaker 1: Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school.
Speaker 1: In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause, of a
Speaker 1: few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness.
Speaker 1: By the way, why do you choose me? But to
Speaker 1: ask after fifteen years, there's no way to buy the
Speaker 1: way your way through it. But eventually, so.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you some questions?
Speaker 6: Absolutely?
Speaker 7: I guess first, like, what are your memories of me
Speaker 7: in high school?
Speaker 6: Yeah? So I was trying to think of this. Did
Speaker 6: we ever have any classes together?
Speaker 2: Probably not?
Speaker 6: Yeah, so we met senior year, right.
Speaker 2: I think so.
Speaker 1: Allie doesn't remember much, but one thing she does remember
Speaker 1: is that day in the back of the classroom.
Speaker 9: We were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do,
Speaker 9: and I think you had you were like not into
Speaker 9: going to prom?
Speaker 6: Right, You're like, no, I'm not going to go.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I remember like you had to really spell it out.
Speaker 7: You were like are you going to prom?
Speaker 1: You're not?
Speaker 2: Okay? Like if you were, would you be going with someone?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 7: And then eventually you were like you and me can
Speaker 7: go to prom? Like why don't we go to prom?
Speaker 8: You know?
Speaker 1: And then Brandon asks this question sort of.
Speaker 7: Like at any point did you consider having having someone
Speaker 7: else as a date?
Speaker 6: Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself,
Speaker 6: so I don't have any memories of thinking like I'm
Speaker 6: gonna ask Brandon and then if that doesn't work, I'm
Speaker 6: gonna ask so and so they're just kinda like I'm
Speaker 6: asked Brandon.
Speaker 7: That is surprising, I guess because I thought like that
Speaker 7: it was like spur of the moment, like your friends
Speaker 7: were hearing this for the first time too.
Speaker 6: No. No, I was very obsessed with my friends, so
Speaker 6: I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you
Speaker 6: passed the friends test.
Speaker 1: Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity.
Speaker 1: Ali planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going
Speaker 1: to take no for an answer.
Speaker 6: I do remember, like you did say no. I remember
Speaker 6: you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah, but give
Speaker 6: him a day. I'm gonna make him go. He's gonna
Speaker 6: go with me. But yeah, you were just surprised by
Speaker 6: the fact that I asked you.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, definitely. Hmm.
Speaker 1: Alie pauses trying to find the right words.
Speaker 9: You made me laugh a lot, and I remember that
Speaker 9: you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy,
Speaker 9: and you smiled at me a lot. I remember that,
Speaker 9: you know, like I liked being around you, and if.
Speaker 6: I made a joke, you would laugh at it.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 7: It made me feel like I was funny, which is
Speaker 7: a great quality.
Speaker 6: You got me a corsage.
Speaker 2: I remember that.
Speaker 6: I remember not expecting you to get me a porsage.
Speaker 6: I'm thinking that was really nice. I do remember that.
Speaker 6: Isn't that silly? But like, I don't remember a lot,
Speaker 6: but I remember that.
Speaker 1: So you know, I'm going to be a little blunt
Speaker 1: here because uh, sure was there anything else to it?
Speaker 9: Like?
Speaker 1: What was there an element of something romantic?
Speaker 6: So we probably flirted, right, But I don't know.
Speaker 9: I mean, friendship is really just the main feeling that
Speaker 9: I can recall.
Speaker 6: I'm not saying that there wasn't you know. I mean,
Speaker 6: I don't know. You're a teenager, You're feeling all kinds
Speaker 6: of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh,
Speaker 6: is this a thing?
Speaker 8: You know?
Speaker 6: Is this turning into this.
Speaker 7: That I think that I would have found that really
Speaker 7: hard to believe as a kid, you know, that would
Speaker 7: have gone against the narrative of school and what people
Speaker 7: thought of me that I had.
Speaker 6: I don't know. I guess to some extent I knew
Speaker 6: that we were.
Speaker 9: I want to be honest, I knew that there was
Speaker 9: some people were surprised by the fact that we were
Speaker 9: going together, right. I do remember one time when I
Speaker 9: told some dude in my physics class, I can't remember
Speaker 9: that is going with and they're like, wait, what And
Speaker 9: I was like yeah, and they're like that's weird, and
Speaker 9: I'm like, you're weird.
Speaker 1: Well. Brandon remembers himself as a misfit. Ali remembers someone
Speaker 1: who is different than a lot of the other guys.
Speaker 1: In high school. Brandon made rye jokes, he was sweet
Speaker 1: and self deprecating. She remembers things that Brandon doesn't. She
Speaker 1: says there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue
Speaker 1: about how he found it hard to drive because of
Speaker 1: his fear of hitting birds. In other words, Ali asked
Speaker 1: him to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered.
Speaker 1: She just wanted to go with him.
Speaker 7: Did you have a good time, eproum, Because I really
Speaker 7: wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time
Speaker 7: thinking like, that's my role on the date?
Speaker 2: Here I go.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, Ali grows thoughtful.
Speaker 9: I guess I didn't even think that, because I mean
Speaker 9: I talked you into it, right, So then here you
Speaker 9: are kind of not stuck, but like, yeah, feeling like
Speaker 9: you wanted to make it special for me because I
Speaker 9: was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I
Speaker 9: guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon,
Speaker 9: you're just so much more thoughtful, you know, just thoughtful
Speaker 9: about the whole experience. And I do want to thank
Speaker 9: you because that's so nice that you were thinking it
Speaker 9: was your duty to try to make sure I had
Speaker 9: the problem I wanted to have.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from
Speaker 7: you for anything. I feel like I have to thank
Speaker 7: you because there's something really simple and superficial about this.
Speaker 7: But it felt really real that I finished high school
Speaker 7: as a person who went to prom. I got to go,
Speaker 7: I got to have a fun time and forget the
Speaker 7: misfit feelings I was having.
Speaker 8: That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that.
Speaker 8: That's really nice.
Speaker 7: My life started to really just like blossom and grow.
Speaker 7: I guess from like the moment high school was over.
Speaker 7: And I guess, I guess I can't say for certain
Speaker 7: what that part of my life would have looked like
Speaker 7: had I not had the prom experience, but I can't
Speaker 7: say it was totally irrelevant.
Speaker 1: Was it out of that and kind of like into
Speaker 1: that period that you ended up meeting your wife Megan.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Megan
Speaker 7: I met her.
Speaker 1: Dress is so cute. She looks beautiful. This is Megan
Speaker 1: Brandon's wife looking at a photo of Valley from prom night.
Speaker 1: She looks amazing, she looks great. After getting off the
Speaker 1: video call, Ali sent the group photo from prom, Megan
Speaker 1: studies it while seated beside Brandon.
Speaker 5: It's also like, so cute to see you flanked by
Speaker 5: these Like I mean, I'm sorry, they're in high school,
Speaker 5: so I don't real feel like I should be calling
Speaker 5: them hot babes. But you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 5: from the high school perspective, you lucky looking man.
Speaker 1: But as Brandon looks at the photo, I imagine it
Speaker 1: isn't his day to the other kids that he's focused
Speaker 1: on so much as he's focused on the big guy
Speaker 1: in the middle and all the baggage that guy was carrying.
Speaker 7: There's a lot of weird stuff about like my weight
Speaker 7: and growing up, like dieting, and like my mom like
Speaker 7: putting me out of scale, and it was like, you're
Speaker 7: over this line. You know you're unattractive, and.
Speaker 1: What does it make you to feel like Megan to
Speaker 1: hear that, it makes.
Speaker 6: Me feel very protective for sure.
Speaker 5: I think if we don't, we really really get into squabbles.
Speaker 5: But if ever we do, what really disarms me is
Speaker 5: like thinking about that like little like young Brandon. I
Speaker 5: feel like that it happened not even that long ago.
Speaker 5: Do you remember we were like standing at the kitchen
Speaker 5: and I started crying, and I was just like I
Speaker 5: had been so resentful and mad at you for a minute,
Speaker 5: and then I just like was imagining you being like
Speaker 5: a little kid and having other like adults in his
Speaker 5: life not really tend to like the difficulties of that
Speaker 5: as well as they should have. I think about him
Speaker 5: just having to like navigate those insecurities alone.
Speaker 1: But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A
Speaker 1: few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon
Speaker 1: went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his wedding
Speaker 1: suit and needed her to let it out.
Speaker 7: She was like down on her knees, like looking at it,
Speaker 7: pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay,
Speaker 7: go ahead and open the pants up so I can
Speaker 7: see how much we can let out. And I don't
Speaker 7: know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear
Speaker 7: underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that
Speaker 7: she was going to Brandon be asking that. So yeah,
Speaker 7: she asked me to open the pants and I was
Speaker 7: like right now, and she's like, yep, go ahead, and
Speaker 7: I just said, I can't do that right now. If
Speaker 7: you know what I mean. Wow, I know, I know,
Speaker 7: and I don't think. I'm honestly not sure if she
Speaker 7: knew what I meant. But she dropped it and said, Okay,
Speaker 7: I think we'll just light it out all the way
Speaker 7: and that'll probably be enough.
Speaker 2: It was awful. It was awful.
Speaker 1: Brandon was spiraling, So as soon as he left, he
Speaker 1: sent Megan a text at school asking her to call him.
Speaker 7: And when she called me, I was fixing a flat.
Speaker 7: I got a flat tire on the way home. It
Speaker 7: was just like a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing
Speaker 7: a flat and telling her what it was like at
Speaker 7: the tailor, and then we hung up, and then she
Speaker 7: texted me later and just said.
Speaker 2: Like I love you and I love the way your
Speaker 2: body looks, and I don't think it's weird that you
Speaker 2: didn't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear either.
Speaker 7: It was just like a you know what I mean?
Speaker 7: She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately for me.
Speaker 5: Hmm, well, I taught him to go commando, so I
Speaker 5: feel partially responsible.
Speaker 1: What did you make of Brandon's question that he's had
Speaker 1: through the years, Why did Ali invite him to the
Speaker 1: prom in the first place?
Speaker 5: It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect
Speaker 5: sense to me that somebody who looks like Ali could
Speaker 5: like the person who she's standing next to.
Speaker 9: You.
Speaker 1: Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was
Speaker 1: that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering
Speaker 1: why the person by his side had chosen him. He's
Speaker 1: just happy she did.
Speaker 2: I was comfortable the whole time.
Speaker 1: How could you not be comfortable? I mean, you weren't
Speaker 1: wearing underpants, He held it.
Speaker 4: Now that the fern Atures returned into its goodwill home,
Speaker 4: now that the last month's rant is scheming with the
Speaker 4: damage to possibly take this.
Speaker 10: Moment to decide, Brandon, Hey, Hello, Hi, I can't believe
Speaker 10: it's been.
Speaker 2: Over four years.
Speaker 1: Last time I spoke to you, you were speaking to
Speaker 1: me from what did you call it? Your man cave, your.
Speaker 2: I didn't remember telling you. But it's called the chill zone,
Speaker 2: the chill zone.
Speaker 1: That's right, it's right there. Wait, so you're not in
Speaker 1: the chill zone. No, I'm in the office, okay, Because
Speaker 1: the chill zone is for chilling. It's not for recording.
Speaker 2: Well, it's changing its purpose now. It's for the bedtime
Speaker 2: routine with the new baby.
Speaker 1: Well, you really buried the lead on that one.
Speaker 2: So you have a baby, Yeah, we have a baby.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so exciting. She's growing and learning so fast.
Speaker 2: She's noticing things.
Speaker 1: Does she like pulling on your mustache?
Speaker 7: She hasn't found my mustache in that way yet. But
Speaker 7: she's really into containers, just putting containers in containers, taking
Speaker 7: something out of a container, putting in a different one.
Speaker 7: And she can do that for like an hour, and
Speaker 7: I can just sit there and watch her and try
Speaker 7: not to help if she's trying to put something too
Speaker 7: big and too small container, you know, just watching her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so exciting, wonderful. That's so nice to hear. Well,
Speaker 1: that's that's the headline. Are there have there been any
Speaker 1: other changes since we last spoke?
Speaker 2: Hm? I actually listened to the Brandon episode of Heavyweight
Speaker 2: yesterday just to have it be fresh in my mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And what was that like?
Speaker 2: Uh? It's fun.
Speaker 7: I feel like when I was first hearing it, I
Speaker 7: cringe and I cringed a lot less yesterday.
Speaker 2: Well, why do you think that is time? I think?
Speaker 2: I mean I feel a lot different than I did
Speaker 2: four years ago.
Speaker 1: How in what ways?
Speaker 7: About a year before Robin was born, Meg and I
Speaker 7: started going to this meeting. It's like we'd get together
Speaker 7: with these people and do something called chigong. It's just
Speaker 7: like breathing and moving. It's kind of like tai chi,
Speaker 7: but kind of exercisey. And then there's a meditation portion.
Speaker 7: And there's this concept called no pretending that we would
Speaker 7: be like, are we pretending with ourselves in our minds?
Speaker 7: Do we pretend when we talk to other people? And
Speaker 7: I realized that I do pretend to other people. Thinking
Speaker 7: about how I want to come across and drawing awareness
Speaker 7: to that helped me to do it less.
Speaker 1: Were there certain things that you feel like were that
Speaker 1: you were pretending at.
Speaker 7: I'm trying to think of a good way to explain
Speaker 7: that or oh, you know, one day I realized I
Speaker 7: was like, if I'm walking up to the door of
Speaker 7: a gas station, we're going into the gas station, and
Speaker 7: there's a stranger walking in at the same time, and
Speaker 7: it seems like we might arrive at more or less
Speaker 7: at the same time.
Speaker 2: I was fast to jump out of the way. You
Speaker 2: know first, do you first? And I don't do that
Speaker 2: sort of thing as much.
Speaker 1: You feel less apologetic for just being around existing, Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, less about finding a place where I can fit
Speaker 7: to disturb other people as little as possible, and more
Speaker 7: now feeling like I am of I'm actually here, I'm
Speaker 7: a I'm not just smoke, you know. I exist here
Speaker 7: and I'm moving around and I can do and say
Speaker 7: what I want and other people will react, however, they
Speaker 7: will react, and that doesn't mean I should have said
Speaker 7: or done something different.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I feel more.
Speaker 7: Confident, more, I guess, just in tune with what I
Speaker 7: actually think and what I'm actually feeling. And I feel
Speaker 7: like a much different person than I did four years ago,
Speaker 7: in a good way.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you think the Brandon of today would have pursued
Speaker 1: that story? I?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. Think so. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's the branden of today where underwear.
Speaker 2: I've got a couple pairs for special occasions.
Speaker 1: Is this a special occasion?
Speaker 2: No, it isn't.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, you have a twenty year high school reunion
Speaker 1: coming up.
Speaker 7: This is the year for my twentieth reunion. Yeah, if
Speaker 7: it's happening, are you going to go? I would love
Speaker 7: to go.
Speaker 1: Have you been in touch with Ali?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 7: I have not, but I wondered if I might see
Speaker 7: her at this reunion. And you know, I wanted to
Speaker 7: say before we go. When I was listening to the
Speaker 7: episode yesterday, I felt grateful. It brought me kind of
Speaker 7: an outside perspective on that period of my life, which
Speaker 7: I wouldn't have had without that or you know, and
Speaker 7: I don't think I would have reached out to Ali
Speaker 7: on my own. And it was a good lesson to
Speaker 7: learn that despite what I was going through as a teenager,
Speaker 7: that I was still me. That's the big takeaway I
Speaker 7: had from listening to it. You know, when she said
Speaker 7: you were sweet, and you smiled at me and you
Speaker 7: laughed at my jokes, that's a good quality. That's some
Speaker 7: of the things I remember her saying from when I listened,
Speaker 7: but I don't know how that hit me at the time.
Speaker 7: I can't remember, but listening to it now, I thought
Speaker 7: that sounds like me. The real me was still there,
Speaker 7: I was, it was still coming out. Yeah, So thank you.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, thank you for saying that and for
Speaker 1: lending yourself to it so wholeheartedly. Will you say hi
Speaker 1: to Meg for me? I will Brandon, it was really
Speaker 1: nice to see you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Have a good day you too, you too, enjoy your baby,
Speaker 1: I will.
Speaker 10: I will.
Speaker 1: Thanks to everyone who originally put this episode together. We'll
Speaker 1: be back with another update in two weeks time. And
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Speaker 1: in the newsletter?
Speaker 3: We got some recommendations, things that we've liked, and there's hyperlinks.
Speaker 1: Yes, parenthetically, I don't know that I've been hyperlinking properly
Speaker 1: in the newsletter, like you can actually like hyperlink from
Speaker 1: a word, right, Yeah, that I put the full r L.
Speaker 1: I'm old school, that's right. It's only recently that I've
Speaker 1: started pronouncing at URL. I used to just pronounce it
Speaker 1: as earle. Do you know what RL stands for? Ooh,
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Speaker 6: I'm speaking of The URL for the newsletter is.
Speaker 1: It's at patreon dot com. Slash Heavyweight