Speaker 1: It might have been when we did the first episode
Speaker 1: of this was that the last time we saw each other.
Speaker 2: When was that? What?
Speaker 3: No, that's crazy, More Better, More More, a little more better, More.
Speaker 1: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending
Speaker 1: to have it all together because we definitely don't, and
Speaker 1: embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every.
Speaker 2: Day, or at least trying to. That's Stephanie Beatrice and
Speaker 2: that is multa famarro. And here we are, guys, We're back.
Speaker 2: Here we are. How are you doing. Okay, we're recording
Speaker 2: this as some really devastating fires are happening in Los Angeles,
Speaker 2: and uh, you know, we decided that we would record
Speaker 2: just to sort of have a normal moment in the
Speaker 2: midst of all this really like intense devastation. I don't
Speaker 2: know what else to call it. I mean, it's a
Speaker 2: horrible that's horrible. Hopefully by the time that you're hearing this,
Speaker 2: the fires are contained, and yeah, there's some way to help,
Speaker 2: and we will donate to help. Yeah, because you know,
Speaker 2: we love our city and we're so we're just like
Speaker 2: really feeling a lot of empathy for the people that
Speaker 2: are going through a lot right now. Losing their houses,
Speaker 2: losing places that they're community gathers. It's just really this
Speaker 2: is rough. But in the face of rough sometimes you
Speaker 2: just try to do stuff that's kind of normal. So yeah,
Speaker 2: what's normal for us is to talk to each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like take a moment for connection and for
Speaker 1: you know, friendship, frendship, which is what we're talking about today.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we are. Wait before we get into that,
Speaker 2: how are you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm okay. I'm in Atlanta. So it's weird
Speaker 1: to be not home. You know, school's closed for today,
Speaker 1: so like everyone's just hunkered down and trying not to
Speaker 1: feel too guilty about not being there. But everyone is
Speaker 1: safe and so you know, just checking up on people
Speaker 1: and yeah, but it's it's a weird feeling to be
Speaker 1: not physically home where all this craziness is happening.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thinking about all the firefighters and you know, it's
Speaker 1: just devastating.
Speaker 2: What's happening. Anything. Have you been doing anything lately that's
Speaker 2: a little more better. I have been watching a lot
Speaker 2: of movies. Who I have been catching up on my films,
Speaker 2: my films and my television shows, and that's been great.
Speaker 2: I really loved the substance. Have we talked about this.
Speaker 1: No, I haven't seen it yet. I've been catching up
Speaker 1: on TV. But I need to watch the Substance.
Speaker 2: It is a wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 2: Like it is cuckuck coo, cuckoo, cuckoo cuchoo. Like, yeah, Melissa,
Speaker 2: I almost don't want you to watch it until you, like,
Speaker 2: like maybe watch it with your cast or something like
Speaker 2: if you can like catch it with other that's good
Speaker 2: to me because I just think the experience of watching
Speaker 2: it as a woman as a woman with other women.
Speaker 2: What am I saying as a woman as a woman.
Speaker 2: But honestly, like, I have male friends who I stood
Speaker 2: I found out a Christmas party and like talk to
Speaker 2: them for about thirty minutes about how good this movie
Speaker 2: was and how much I loved it and how wild
Speaker 2: it was and how the performances I just thought were
Speaker 2: really special and yeah, I just yeah, yeah, I loved Wicked.
Speaker 2: I saw Wicked, Obsessed with Wicked. I love with Wicked.
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people have corriticisms, but I know, uh,
Speaker 2: I mean, I just think it was really and I
Speaker 2: was really excited that they won the basically like the
Speaker 2: Blockbuster award at the Globes. I thought that was really amazing. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm really proud of May on the inside, Yes, which
Speaker 2: was so good. Thanks.
Speaker 1: You were fantastic in it. I loved your big episode
Speaker 1: what is it, episode six I think or seven six? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really I texted you this, but I just really
Speaker 1: loved you in that role. It was different and like
Speaker 1: a new thing for you, and I loved it.
Speaker 2: You were so good, much more close to like what
Speaker 2: I actually am like, which is yeah, yeah, that's what
Speaker 2: I mean. Yeah, usually play Yeah, it's like I'm so
Speaker 2: I didn't realize. I'm so used to seeing you play
Speaker 2: characters that are so far from you, and this was
Speaker 2: really lovely to see something that was like very close
Speaker 2: to who you are in real life as a person
Speaker 2: and like getting just getting to use also like your
Speaker 2: charm and your light and you know, you play a
Speaker 2: lot of dark characters. But what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that was I just really loved that.
Speaker 2: I loved that. Yeah, I loved watching that. It was
Speaker 2: it was really beautiful work, truly a joy to do.
Speaker 2: It was truly a joy. Yeah, and looked like it
Speaker 2: more better.
Speaker 1: So today's episode comes from a listener you guys listeners.
Speaker 1: You've been so awesome with the requests. We love hearing them.
Speaker 1: We love the voice notes. We have one today. If
Speaker 1: you need help with something in your life, or you
Speaker 1: have suggestions for a future episode, please email us at
Speaker 1: Morebetter Pod at gmail dot com. Include a voice note
Speaker 1: to be featured or not. You know, you can also
Speaker 1: just write an email.
Speaker 2: Dealer's choice.
Speaker 1: But today we have a voice note from Lauren and
Speaker 1: let's listen to it.
Speaker 4: Hey, Stephanie, Melissa, coming to you from Australia. I wanted
Speaker 4: to know your advice for long distance friendship slash relationships.
Speaker 4: My best friend lives in Germany and even though I
Speaker 4: talk to her every day, I still miss her a lot.
Speaker 4: Regular travel is not an option for us, so I'm
Speaker 4: grateful for any tips. Thank you, and I loving the
Speaker 4: podcast from Lauren.
Speaker 2: Oh that was nice. I accent. I can't do it.
Speaker 2: I can't do it either. I want to learn how
Speaker 2: to do it so bad. I know my stiffany Melissa, Melissa,
Speaker 2: that was that was good? Oh, thank you, but I
Speaker 2: just had to listen to it for a little while.
Speaker 2: I have a good year. I have a good ear.
Speaker 1: You do have a good ear, so Yeah, we're talking
Speaker 1: about long distance friendships, which we have some experience with
Speaker 1: given our occupations in life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we leave home a lot. We're often not near
Speaker 2: our families, so yeah, I get that, even talking on
Speaker 2: the phone every day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I haven't seen you in real life, and like,
Speaker 1: how long has it been?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Actually, uh, I don't know how long
Speaker 2: it's been. It's been long.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've seen you since like last spring.
Speaker 1: We're probably getting close to a year.
Speaker 2: Jesus, No, that can't be right. Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: think it is. I think it is. Holy Macaroni. Oh
Speaker 2: that's so distressing. Okay, do you remember when during the
Speaker 2: pandemic and you'd be like, at least me, I'd be
Speaker 2: like sitting in my house, like I would do anything
Speaker 2: to see my friends. Would drive anywhere. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't care if they live in West Hollywood. I don't care.
Speaker 2: I don't care how far away they are. I'll go anywhere.
Speaker 2: And now I'm like, can you meet me? Can we
Speaker 2: meet halfway?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: God?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's been your experience with long distance friendships? You know,
Speaker 2: some of them really last and some don't. Yeah. I
Speaker 2: think sometimes you meet people where it's kind of easy
Speaker 2: and you check in once in a while and then
Speaker 2: when you see them, it's like no time has passed
Speaker 2: and you're just catching up and it's so great. And
Speaker 2: then some friends you need to tend it a little
Speaker 2: more like a sensitive plant in your garden, where you
Speaker 2: have to like get in there and check on it
Speaker 2: and dig around and see if there's anything that's, you know,
Speaker 2: festering or whatever. So it depends on the kind of
Speaker 2: friends A that you want and B that you are.
Speaker 2: I think some people are better suited to tending relationship
Speaker 2: like that, and yep, some don't have, you know, like
Speaker 2: some some people don't have the bandwidth, and that's okay,
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, yeah. For example, I have this friend Jen,
Speaker 2: who lives in New Orleans, who actually met through another
Speaker 2: friend who lived in New Orleans, and when I was
Speaker 2: going there to shoot, she introduced me. She was like, oh,
Speaker 2: you gotta meet my friend Jen. She's great, and like,
Speaker 2: we went out for drinks one night and I thought
Speaker 2: she was so funny and cool and she is just
Speaker 2: an amazing person. She's around a lot for me at
Speaker 2: a hard time. That was when my dad was dying,
Speaker 2: and she was so fantastic and just like the cool
Speaker 2: Like she'll wear like sunglasses inside and everyone's just like
Speaker 2: who is that? Is she a producer or something? Like
Speaker 2: everyone was like who's that? She's really great and like,
Speaker 2: you know, we just randomly text and something that she
Speaker 2: does that I love is that just like sometimes she'll
Speaker 2: just like randomly send me, Like she sent big box
Speaker 2: for us and it was full of like New Orleans
Speaker 2: e stuff and some clothes for ras and you know,
Speaker 2: just like checking in and being like okay, but like
Speaker 2: a surprise box. Like that's really like that's something that
Speaker 2: I actually learned from her. And for one of my
Speaker 2: friends that's doing a play in Kansas City right now,
Speaker 2: I sent her a box just like of random shit,
Speaker 2: like some stuff that I had like bought her and saved.
Speaker 2: And then like also like a wig, you know, just
Speaker 2: like r bullshit that I thought was funny. I think
Speaker 2: it depends on the person, you know and the friendship.
Speaker 2: What about you? Yeah? I agree?
Speaker 1: I I you know, I moved to LA when I
Speaker 1: turned thirty, so you know, I had my whole group
Speaker 1: of best friends in New York that some were most
Speaker 1: were from college, some were from after college, some were
Speaker 1: from elementary and high school and you know, and we've
Speaker 1: done an episode about how hard it is to make
Speaker 1: friends as an adult. So my first few years in LA,
Speaker 1: besides you guys at Brooklyn, you know, those were still
Speaker 1: my people and they still are.
Speaker 2: I've done a better, you know.
Speaker 1: Eventually I realized I was I needed to give a
Speaker 1: little more time and energy to like cultivating friendships like
Speaker 1: in my community where I actually lived. That's funny, and
Speaker 1: like you were saying, you also realize, you know, and
Speaker 1: at the time, like it was hurtful. The friends that
Speaker 1: like didn't were harder to connect with, were harder to
Speaker 1: like get in touch with or find a way to
Speaker 1: like keep communication open. But then you just sort of
Speaker 1: go like, well, that's that's life, man, and we're all
Speaker 1: like doing our best and everybody's busy and it is
Speaker 1: what it is, and like, you know, and then you
Speaker 1: just stick to the people with the people that that
Speaker 1: happens a bit easier more organically. I think the biggest
Speaker 1: thing for that I've noticed is of all my of
Speaker 1: my core inner group of friends, like no one gets
Speaker 1: pissed really when too much time has gone without talking,
Speaker 1: Like everyone is very open and understanding that like things
Speaker 1: get busy, things get hectic, you know, and inevitably someone
Speaker 1: will be like, hey, it's been a long time, Like
Speaker 1: when when can we Like, we will set up dates
Speaker 1: to FaceTime and catch up, you know, that's necessary for sure.
Speaker 1: We will put it in the calendar. Are you around
Speaker 1: on Sunday? Okay, it's three pm? Work for you great, Like,
Speaker 1: let's put it in the calendar and we will do
Speaker 1: our ketchup calls.
Speaker 2: And I think.
Speaker 1: That that open understanding of like that sometimes we're going
Speaker 1: to talk a lot.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: One of my best friends just got married, so like
Speaker 1: that was kind of a reconnecting event and we all
Speaker 1: have been talking like almost every day for the past
Speaker 1: couple of months and still ours and it's been so nice.
Speaker 1: But I also know that like maybe in a month
Speaker 1: or two, that's going to fall away a little bit
Speaker 1: and people are going to get busy and then we're
Speaker 1: gonna you know, get back in our routines. So there's
Speaker 1: like a lot of like compassion and openness that I
Speaker 1: think you have to have, but also you have to
Speaker 1: be good about making sure.
Speaker 2: Not too much time goes by, you know. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: think that's something that like not being afraid to be like, Hi,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? You know, like as long as
Speaker 2: that isn't an empty high, as long as it's not
Speaker 2: because I've definitely had friends that like they drop off
Speaker 2: the face of the earth and then they reach back
Speaker 2: out and it's like what do you want? You know,
Speaker 2: Like say I had I.
Speaker 1: Had a big argument with a close friend when I
Speaker 1: had Enzo, and I felt like he kind of disappeared,
Speaker 1: like dropped off the face of the earth. And I
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, you're one of my closest friends in
Speaker 1: this big life event happened, right, and you have no
Speaker 1: connection to it because you don't even know what's going on,
Speaker 1: like you don't even know what this has been like,
Speaker 1: and you know, and he got a little upset. But
Speaker 1: then I think he realized he had like another friend
Speaker 1: tell him like, oh, she's just fighting for your friendship,
Speaker 1: Like she's just fighting to like keep you in her life.
Speaker 1: And then you know, we talked about it and and
Speaker 1: then we got past it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: So it's also like, hey, it's been a minute, like
Speaker 1: you know, or just I think being conscious too, I
Speaker 1: try to be with my long distance friends of like
Speaker 1: keeping track and tabs on, like when people have big
Speaker 1: things going on, you know, and just yeah, okay for
Speaker 1: this time, I have to be like extra caut like
Speaker 1: conscio of like checking in because this person is up
Speaker 1: for a job or they're looking for a job, or
Speaker 1: they're moving or whatever it is. You know, like just
Speaker 1: aware of what's going on in their life, just like
Speaker 1: the big stuff, you know, because I think the big
Speaker 1: stuff is when you kind of want the people that
Speaker 1: know you the best around, Like that's when you need
Speaker 1: those connections the most, when you don't have to explain shit.
Speaker 1: They already know how you feel, you know, because they've
Speaker 1: known you for so long.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's that's kind of how I But it's hard. It
Speaker 1: takes work, you know, it's not easy.
Speaker 2: If if Floren's talking to her friend every day, right,
Speaker 2: which is amazing that they talk at Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: What kind of time do you have in your hands, Lauren?
Speaker 2: I feel like something to maybe add to that is
Speaker 2: like like a sit down. You know, maybe that the
Speaker 2: conversations aren't hitting the way that you want them too
Speaker 2: because you're not having these like deep deep I mean,
Speaker 2: I'll say as an example, like one of my good
Speaker 2: friends lives in Chicago, and she is traveling for work
Speaker 2: all the time, and she's been really busy for the
Speaker 2: last two months and it's only been texts. I haven't
Speaker 2: a voice really, right. And so the other day, I know,
Speaker 2: I knew she had a day off, and I was like,
Speaker 2: can I talk with you? And she was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to make She's always doing two things at once.
Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, I'm gonna make my food and
Speaker 2: eat it. And I was like, okay, great, but I
Speaker 2: was like, we have to talk like on the end, right,
Speaker 2: So maybe what Lauren is searching for is like something
Speaker 2: a little deeper. So maybe that's like do you need
Speaker 2: to plan, like you said, a zoom or a FaceTime
Speaker 2: or a chat that's not like, hey, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: You know, two seconds before you like go into target
Speaker 2: or something, you need to like sit down and have
Speaker 2: a moment, you know. Yeah, that's why it doesn't feel
Speaker 2: like I haven't seen you in so so so long.
Speaker 2: I mean I didn't even think about it, but like,
Speaker 2: because we get this time with each other and we'd
Speaker 2: like sit down and actually look at each other and
Speaker 2: talk to each other about stuff, right, Yeah, that might
Speaker 2: be something that might make her feel more connected. Is
Speaker 2: like an actual dedicated time where you're looking at each
Speaker 2: other's faces and you know you're not like dicking around
Speaker 2: on your phone or or yeah, you know, an actual
Speaker 2: dedicated time where you go, I'm on the phone with you,
Speaker 2: and yes, I'm going to fold this laundry, but I'm
Speaker 2: also going to talk to you, like not just for
Speaker 2: five minutes, but like a full hour about all the
Speaker 2: stuff we got to like process in our in our
Speaker 2: day or whatever, and I need your help with right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I think you're right.
Speaker 1: I think that's probably why maybe she's feeling like she
Speaker 1: misses her so much, because maybe, you know, maybe instead
Speaker 1: of the daily chats that are maybe just hitting the
Speaker 1: surface stuff. And I don't know how long their daily
Speaker 1: chats are, but I would imagine they're quick.
Speaker 2: I mean, girl, girlfriend camp be on, Lauren, are you
Speaker 2: on the phone for like two hours a day with
Speaker 2: your bustie? Because we need more details, you know what. Also, like,
Speaker 2: here's something that she didn't mention, but I will say, like,
Speaker 2: as someone who is very nosy, I love like one
Speaker 2: of one of my favorite things at work is to
Speaker 2: be like, what's going on in your life? Tell me
Speaker 2: everything right and so not to spread Wachincha. But I
Speaker 2: worked with the girl this past year and she was
Speaker 2: away from her friend group because we're working on location
Speaker 2: and she was away from her friend group, and she
Speaker 2: was like struggling with like looking at Instagram and seeing
Speaker 2: her friends all hanging out without her. On their stories,
Speaker 2: they'd be you know, going here, going there, going to
Speaker 2: this party, or going to that party, and they were
Speaker 2: they were hanging out without her, and it made her
Speaker 2: feel really left out. So that even though she was
Speaker 2: in contact with all of them constantly, she still felt
Speaker 2: really left out. And that's something that I think obviously
Speaker 2: age and experience, but still, like still it's a feeling
Speaker 2: like you got to talk to yourself through that feeling,
Speaker 2: right Like you got to be like, Okay, I'm not there.
Speaker 2: If I was there, that would be different. If I
Speaker 2: was there and they didn't invite me, then I have
Speaker 2: to think about who my friends are, right, right, But
Speaker 2: you're not there, So instead of wishing you were there
Speaker 2: and feeling jealous and sad that you're not getting those
Speaker 2: experiences with that person, it's like you got to turn
Speaker 2: it and be like, how am I filling up my
Speaker 2: own life, so that they are a part of my
Speaker 2: life and the friendship isn't my whole life. And again
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's Lauren, if if that's her
Speaker 2: experience or not, but like, sometimes you can get so
Speaker 2: wrapped up in this idea this is my best friend
Speaker 2: and we're soulmates, and this is my person and they
Speaker 2: understand me. And now they've moved far away, and I
Speaker 2: don't know who I am without this person. It's like,
Speaker 2: you are you, you know you are, You're fine, You're
Speaker 2: just fine.
Speaker 1: I think you're hitting something really good and important. And
Speaker 1: I think I had that realization too those after those
Speaker 1: first few years in la of like, you know, part
Speaker 1: of me realizing, oh, I have to like also cultivate
Speaker 1: friendships and community in the place that I physically live
Speaker 1: live was realizing that, yeah, I was putting too much stop,
Speaker 1: too much energy into these friendships that they just they
Speaker 1: don't we don't live in the same city, like we
Speaker 1: are long distance. Like it is what it is, and
Speaker 1: it's different what it it's different. But what it also
Speaker 1: meant at the same time was that I had a
Speaker 1: void I had. I missed having friends, I missed having
Speaker 1: a group or you know people to be social with
Speaker 1: or I have a friendship with and get into de
Speaker 1: talks with, like that was the thing I was actually
Speaker 1: also missing, Like, yes, I missed the people and I
Speaker 1: wanted to do it with them the most. But once I,
Speaker 1: I think, put more time and energy into cultivating my
Speaker 1: friendships in LA, I had less of those longing feelings,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, less of that.
Speaker 1: Like missing a person with dread, you know, or feeling
Speaker 1: left out, like because my life was a little more full,
Speaker 1: I had people to lean on. I had and I
Speaker 1: have wonderful, amazing good friends in LA that are very
Speaker 1: close to And it's like you can have both, you know,
Speaker 1: and you can cherish those old friendships and those old
Speaker 1: friends and those those ogs will be there for you
Speaker 1: when you most need them.
Speaker 2: Yes, totally.
Speaker 1: You can also have deep connections with the people in
Speaker 1: your community. You know, you just have to put a
Speaker 1: little time in effort into it and be vulnerable and
Speaker 1: open yourself up, you know, in the ways that we
Speaker 1: like talked about in that one episode. But once I
Speaker 1: felt like I did that, it all got a little easier,
Speaker 1: you know, and then you're not putting all this on
Speaker 1: those relationships too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, more better now, I will say the ones that
Speaker 2: you do want to keep, right, Like the long distance
Speaker 2: friendships that you do want to keep, they are, like
Speaker 2: you said, you gotta like do a little work a
Speaker 2: little bit, right, Like you gotta text people, you gotta
Speaker 2: sometimes call people. You got to if you can, You
Speaker 2: got to visit people, right, Like, Yeah, it's not it's
Speaker 2: not long distance. But I do have a friend who
Speaker 2: lives in mid mid mid city who it's like, guys,
Speaker 2: it's an hour drive in my house. She's a great
Speaker 2: friend though, and so like we will periodically do a
Speaker 2: movie night over here because it's easier for them to
Speaker 2: come to us, because you know, so like what they'll
Speaker 2: do is they'll come for dinner time, they'll be around
Speaker 2: for bedtime and stuff, and then we'll go watch a
Speaker 2: movie downstairs in the basement. And that's really fun. It's
Speaker 2: now it's like a little bit of a tradition. We
Speaker 2: watched Oh my god, what was it called? His wiener
Speaker 2: was out? What was it called? Do you remember this
Speaker 2: murt around the dance blo? Do you better not kill
Speaker 2: the group? H my god? Sulburn? Oh Saltburn, you guys,
Speaker 2: we watched Sulburn together? Oh, my god. We watched Sulburn
Speaker 2: together and the minute spoiler alerts who haven't seen it,
Speaker 2: the minute the minute that he was crying at the grave,
Speaker 2: we started screaming at the TV. It's one of my
Speaker 2: best memories I think of watching a movie ever, but
Speaker 2: like doing that, that kind of stupid stuff with your friends,
Speaker 2: like and it it. You know, like I don't see
Speaker 2: her very often. She's in she's in school, she's getting
Speaker 2: her master's, like, she's she's a bomb, super smart person,
Speaker 2: and I don't get to see her very often. And
Speaker 2: so like little things like that, or like one of
Speaker 2: my friends, the friend that I mentioned that lives in Chicago,
Speaker 2: I'm actually going to go travel to see the play
Speaker 2: that she's in because I'm just like dying to see
Speaker 2: her and I want to see her work, you know,
Speaker 2: just stuff like that, Like next time in I'm in
Speaker 2: New Orleans, I want to see Jen. I think Jen.
Speaker 2: Jen actually came out to she traveled to New York
Speaker 2: when I had a movie premiering at the Tribeca Film Festival,
Speaker 2: and she like came, She's like I'm gonna use my points.
Speaker 2: It's like great, you know, planning, planning a little getaway
Speaker 2: or planning a trip or making like you did with
Speaker 2: the wedding. It's like making an effort to go to
Speaker 2: a wedding to know that you're gonna like see your
Speaker 2: friend get married and be a part of this big
Speaker 2: moment in their life that's really really special. And bonuses
Speaker 2: that you might get to see some other friends as well, right, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: we got to spend a whole weekend together and it
Speaker 2: was great.
Speaker 1: And it really is, like like you were saying, it
Speaker 1: really is quality over quantity, you know, like I there
Speaker 1: are some friends I might only see once a year,
Speaker 1: but as long as it's you know, and it's usually
Speaker 1: a trip or like it's a long hang like you're
Speaker 1: like you're saying, you know, you drive down to the
Speaker 1: person or you meet in a city, and but that
Speaker 1: quality time that's like it fills your cup for a
Speaker 1: long time, you know, it really does, you know. And
Speaker 1: if there's a way that they could meet in the
Speaker 1: middle between.
Speaker 2: Australia and Germany, I don't know what that would be.
Speaker 2: Oh go Tokyo, No is it? Or will you figure
Speaker 2: out what's in the middle of Australia and Germany that
Speaker 2: it can't be Tokyo is it Tokyo. I'll look it up.
Speaker 2: I wanted to be now, I really wanted to be Tokyo. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like planning a trip, is there like a vacationing spot
Speaker 2: that's like somewhere in the middle that's not too expensive.
Speaker 2: Listen to me. There were a travel podcast now Okay.
Speaker 1: I checked, and it's generally like the Bay of Bengal.
Speaker 2: So you could go to like Thailand or Burma, like
Speaker 2: all those places have like gorgeous islands. You know that
Speaker 2: you can like rent like a little villa or something.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck yeah, Oh my god, go to Thailand. You guys,
Speaker 2: go to Thailand. You could meet each other in Thailand.
Speaker 2: How cool would that be? You could have a fantastic
Speaker 2: adventure and remember for the rest of your lives. Also, also,
Speaker 2: I will say, sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder.
Speaker 2: I will say. The flip side of this is that
Speaker 2: sometimes you're like, I'm busy, it's all my time, ausy
Speaker 2: so much, and then when you're with each other on
Speaker 2: a three day trip, you're like, oh my god, that's right.
Speaker 2: She is not nice to waiters. Oh I forgot you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Oh no, no, picky about when
Speaker 2: she has breakfast, and I am not like that. I
Speaker 2: can't handle that. I have to walk away. You know,
Speaker 2: I don't like that coffee order. That's too intense and involved.
Speaker 2: I don't you know what I mean. So like sometimes
Speaker 2: you'd be surprised, like sometimes you you you love your
Speaker 2: friends and you love them for everything that they are,
Speaker 2: but like, maybe you don't need a three day trip
Speaker 2: with them. Maybe you just need to, like maybe you
Speaker 2: to pack her a box and send her a bunch
Speaker 2: of I mean, like, I'm not this is the other thing.
Speaker 2: You could write letters. I am not a letter writer.
Speaker 2: I'm not a journaler. I've never been. I've tried so
Speaker 2: hard I cannot do it. I literally have underneath me,
Speaker 2: right here at my desk a drawer full of half
Speaker 2: done journals with like weird little scribbles and drawings you
Speaker 2: have adournal before. Yes, I'm okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 2: But I will pack a box. I will pack a
Speaker 2: box and I will fill it with fun stuff. And
Speaker 2: I are a very good thanksgiver. I love to do it.
Speaker 2: So like maybe that's the way that you express like
Speaker 2: I miss you, I love you. Maybe I can't afford
Speaker 2: a trip to Thailand. With you right now, but like
Speaker 2: I'm gonna send you a little something in the mail,
Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, maybe that's the connection.
Speaker 1: Yeah, two of my my two of my o G bessies,
Speaker 1: Michael and Alison, we just have like a group check
Speaker 1: going where we send each other the dumbest videos and.
Speaker 3: It's like.
Speaker 1: And and half of them are like you know those
Speaker 1: reels where somebody is like me and my bessie thinking
Speaker 1: that we're hiding our opinion on our face and it's like,
Speaker 1: so oh, I like giving the shadiest look on their
Speaker 1: face because that's us. And it's amazing because it's like
Speaker 1: even if I don't talk to them, they're still making
Speaker 1: me laugh once a day or ever, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And it's like it's just connection or and
Speaker 1: I find too that I don't know if you find this,
Speaker 1: but like I have different communication things with each friend totally.
Speaker 1: I have a friend that I will send the longest
Speaker 1: voice notes to and we will just do that back
Speaker 1: and forth until we can like find a time to talk.
Speaker 1: And I have another friend who like just can only
Speaker 1: do the like catch up calls, FaceTime calls, like can't
Speaker 1: get it together with like other things and that's fine
Speaker 1: because he's really good about making those dates and being
Speaker 1: like and he'll be the first one to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: it's been a minute, Like what's your schedule, Like when
Speaker 1: can we FaceTime? And then I've yeah. And then I
Speaker 1: have our mutual friend Lena. We marco polo with each other,
Speaker 1: which is an app where you send like video messages
Speaker 1: to each other. Okay, yeah, yeah, and like so it's
Speaker 1: like have different things with different.
Speaker 2: Different ways of communication with different people. That's yeah. I
Speaker 2: like that a lot because like different friends are different. Yeah.
Speaker 2: That leads me to Okay, this is our like science
Speaker 2: nerd time Corner. So NPR. NPR had this article life
Speaker 2: Kit forced tips to stay connected when your friends live
Speaker 2: far away, And it's kind of a lot of the
Speaker 2: stuff that we've been talking about already, so I'll read
Speaker 2: you some of them. Be intentional about keeping your long
Speaker 2: distance friend. We've talked about that. It's like, if you
Speaker 2: want people in your life, you got to do a
Speaker 2: little work, right, use common interests to feel connected. So
Speaker 2: the means the making and I just.
Speaker 1: Spent twenty minutes at the beginning of this call talking
Speaker 1: about film and television.
Speaker 2: It doesn't and and this article is being like, it
Speaker 2: doesn't really matter what it is as long as it
Speaker 2: helps you initiate conversation. So I love that. Don't hesitate
Speaker 2: to reach out. If you feel like your communications in
Speaker 2: a rut, your friend probably feels that way too. Don't
Speaker 2: be afraid to be the first one to reach out.
Speaker 2: It shows your friend that they don't need to fear rejection,
Speaker 2: which is really nice because sometimes I get that feeling
Speaker 2: of like, well haven't I sted hear in a long time?
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know. And then this is basically saying,
Speaker 2: don't be scared to do it, you know, yeah, which
Speaker 2: I like. Conflicts are natural and healthy. Address them openly.
Speaker 2: Now we haven't talked about this yet. From this article
Speaker 2: this is it says separation's hard, miscommunication happens, and just
Speaker 2: because there's a limited amount of time you get with
Speaker 2: your friend, it can be easy to let conflicts go
Speaker 2: unaddressed and try not to sweep things under the rug.
Speaker 2: In fact, addressing conflict is one of the ways you
Speaker 2: can become closer with your friend. I will say from
Speaker 2: personal experience this has happened to me. I had some
Speaker 2: miscommunications with a good friend of mine and it was
Speaker 2: just like it got really icky and I didn't know
Speaker 2: how to talk to her about it, and so I
Speaker 2: ended up actually talking to a different friend about it,
Speaker 2: and because that friend is nosy like me, she got
Speaker 2: in the middle of it and was like, oh, girl,
Speaker 2: y'all need to talk. So we did. She really was like,
Speaker 2: h I can't be in the middle of this. You
Speaker 2: gotta talk her. So we talked. It's a good friend. Really, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was really I mean, it was painful. It was
Speaker 2: kind of painful, but it was good in the end,
Speaker 2: because you know, sometimes stuff just goes, you know, unsaid,
Speaker 2: and we're busy people and life is hard and blah
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. So like, I don't know, maybe Lauren,
Speaker 2: there's something going on there that is maybe underneath some stuff,
Speaker 2: and that's why you're feeling like you missed her so
Speaker 2: much and you maybe don't feel as connected to her
Speaker 2: as you want to feel. It's okay to just ask people,
Speaker 2: is there something going on? Is there something you want
Speaker 2: to tell me? You know? Yeah, But I mean it's
Speaker 2: scary because like you just don't ever know what's on
Speaker 2: the other end of that. You always hope it's like
Speaker 2: no You're perfect. You're the best friend I've ever had, Right,
Speaker 2: But I thought that was really helpful. More better, you know,
Speaker 2: something that I think I learned today was like it's
Speaker 2: okay to have these different friendship vibes with different people,
Speaker 2: meaning yes, the last thing that you were saying, especially
Speaker 2: with friends that are far away. It's like different things,
Speaker 2: different strokes for different folks, literally mm hmmm. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think, you know, I'm a person that
Speaker 1: I think friendships are really important and valuable. Like now
Speaker 1: we're seeing all these studies right coming out about community
Speaker 1: being linked to like longevity and health, and like relationships
Speaker 1: and like experiences being vital to like your health even
Speaker 1: and so you know, I love my friends like so
Speaker 1: hard and so deeply, and I feel lucky to have
Speaker 1: amazing friends in my community.
Speaker 2: And also like these og.
Speaker 1: Long distance friends who are from a different time in
Speaker 1: my life who know me so well, and like I
Speaker 1: feel very protective.
Speaker 2: Of those friendships.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and it's all you know, but you have
Speaker 1: to be you do have to stay like open and understanding,
Speaker 1: and you know, like you were just saying, with the conflicts,
Speaker 1: like those conversations can be awkward, but as long as
Speaker 1: you always keep in mind that, like, you're only going
Speaker 1: to bring those things up if you really love someone,
Speaker 1: because if you don't care, you're not going to say anything.
Speaker 1: You're just going to move on over it. Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: just over it. You're just like whatever about that person.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It's when it's somebody that you love and care about
Speaker 1: that you want to address. You know that you're even
Speaker 1: mad in the first place, right, because like, someone you
Speaker 1: don't give a shit about can't really make you that mad,
Speaker 1: so you know. So it's I think on either side
Speaker 1: of that, like remembering that you know someone's coming to
Speaker 1: you raising a flag or a conflict, it's it's because
Speaker 1: they give a shit about you.
Speaker 2: Because they give it. Yeah. Yeah, Really, long distance is hard, guys.
Speaker 2: It's hard speaking of I miss you, it's really to
Speaker 2: I know I missed you too. I cannot believe it's
Speaker 2: been that long. Wait, we need to figure that out.
Speaker 2: How long has it actually been. When did you leave
Speaker 2: for Canada? Not before I live in Canada, Yeah.
Speaker 1: July, July July, and then I was gone in like
Speaker 1: June part of June. So I don't I think we
Speaker 1: saw I really think we saw each other in like
Speaker 1: April or May.
Speaker 2: Maybe get the fuck out of here. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: It might have been when we did the first episode
Speaker 1: of this, was that the last time we saw each
Speaker 1: other in person?
Speaker 2: When was that? Oh? What? No? When was that that
Speaker 2: was May?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think it's May. I'm going to see you probably.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Wait when does your show? When does
Speaker 2: your show actually start airing so that we can all
Speaker 2: watch it?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, gross, point God in Society permiss Sundays No September.
Speaker 2: What am I talking about? February? No? Take that again?
Speaker 2: Take that again? Take it again?
Speaker 1: Grow Growth in Society premiere's Sunday, February twenty third at
Speaker 1: ten pm on NBC.
Speaker 2: How exciting ten pm Easter. Yes, and then you know,
Speaker 2: streaming on Peacock the next day. So yeah, and while
Speaker 2: you're on Peacock, also watched with a medal. Would you
Speaker 2: know in season two is gonna premiere? Do you guys
Speaker 2: have a date? Probably probably in the summer. I don't.
Speaker 2: We don't have a date. But you know, there's a
Speaker 2: lot of special effects that have to take place, because right, no,
Speaker 2: and that feels like a somebody got bit on the
Speaker 2: lip with a spider. So there's an entire scene where
Speaker 2: my lip looks like I'm a real housewife. Baby. It
Speaker 2: is crazy. My god, I have to watch it. Uh my.
Speaker 2: One of our producers was like, it looks fine. I
Speaker 2: was like, you're out to lunch, brother, it looks crazy.
Speaker 2: I honestly can't wait to see what they did because like, yeah, like,
Speaker 2: are they going to fix it and post like the
Speaker 2: whole scene? I don't know is that the plan? I'm
Speaker 2: not sure. Girl, it was Oh my god, that's hilario. Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh that's so exciting. Well, I can't wait for that
Speaker 2: until then, long distance friend. I'll see you the next
Speaker 2: time that we record. Until then, long distance friend. Yeah, yes, hey,
Speaker 2: you love you too. Bye, guys, Bye, thanks for joining
Speaker 2: us by More Better. Dude, you have something you'd like
Speaker 2: to be more better at that you want us to
Speaker 2: talk about in a future episode.
Speaker 1: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 1: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 2: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
Speaker 2: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
Speaker 2: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and
Speaker 2: iHeartMedia's Mikudura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz, and
Speaker 2: Melissa FUMERA More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem,
Speaker 2: and Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama
Speaker 2: and Leo Clem at w V Sound. This episode was
Speaker 2: edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and
Speaker 2: features original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy. Our
Speaker 2: cover art is by Vincent Remy's and photography by David Avalos.
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you
Speaker 2: next week's Saga Bye