1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,239 Speaker 1: It might have been when we did the first episode 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: of this was that the last time we saw each other. 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 2: When was that? What? 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 3: No, that's crazy, More Better, More More, a little more better, More. 5 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending 6 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: to have it all together because we definitely don't, and 7 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every. 8 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 2: Day, or at least trying to. That's Stephanie Beatrice and 9 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 2: that is multa famarro. And here we are, guys, We're back. 10 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 2: Here we are. How are you doing. Okay, we're recording 11 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 2: this as some really devastating fires are happening in Los Angeles, 12 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 2: and uh, you know, we decided that we would record 13 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: just to sort of have a normal moment in the 14 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 2: midst of all this really like intense devastation. I don't 15 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 2: know what else to call it. I mean, it's a 16 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 2: horrible that's horrible. Hopefully by the time that you're hearing this, 17 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 2: the fires are contained, and yeah, there's some way to help, 18 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,400 Speaker 2: and we will donate to help. Yeah, because you know, 19 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 2: we love our city and we're so we're just like 20 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 2: really feeling a lot of empathy for the people that 21 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 2: are going through a lot right now. Losing their houses, 22 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 2: losing places that they're community gathers. It's just really this 23 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 2: is rough. But in the face of rough sometimes you 24 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 2: just try to do stuff that's kind of normal. So yeah, 25 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 2: what's normal for us is to talk to each other. 26 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, just like take a moment for connection and for 27 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: you know, friendship, frendship, which is what we're talking about today. 28 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we are. Wait before we get into that, 29 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 2: how are you doing. 30 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:20,239 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm okay. I'm in Atlanta. So it's weird 31 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: to be not home. You know, school's closed for today, 32 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: so like everyone's just hunkered down and trying not to 33 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: feel too guilty about not being there. But everyone is 34 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 1: safe and so you know, just checking up on people 35 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: and yeah, but it's it's a weird feeling to be 36 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 1: not physically home where all this craziness is happening. 37 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 38 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, thinking about all the firefighters and you know, it's 39 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: just devastating. 40 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,799 Speaker 2: What's happening. Anything. Have you been doing anything lately that's 41 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: a little more better. I have been watching a lot 42 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 2: of movies. Who I have been catching up on my films, 43 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 2: my films and my television shows, and that's been great. 44 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 2: I really loved the substance. Have we talked about this. 45 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: No, I haven't seen it yet. I've been catching up 46 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: on TV. But I need to watch the Substance. 47 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: It is a wow wow wow wow wow wow wow. 48 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 2: Like it is cuckuck coo, cuckoo, cuckoo cuchoo. Like, yeah, Melissa, 49 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 2: I almost don't want you to watch it until you, like, 50 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 2: like maybe watch it with your cast or something like 51 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 2: if you can like catch it with other that's good 52 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 2: to me because I just think the experience of watching 53 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: it as a woman as a woman with other women. 54 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 2: What am I saying as a woman as a woman. 55 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 2: But honestly, like, I have male friends who I stood 56 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 2: I found out a Christmas party and like talk to 57 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 2: them for about thirty minutes about how good this movie 58 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 2: was and how much I loved it and how wild 59 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 2: it was and how the performances I just thought were 60 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 2: really special and yeah, I just yeah, yeah, I loved Wicked. 61 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 2: I saw Wicked, Obsessed with Wicked. I love with Wicked. 62 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 2: I know a lot of people have corriticisms, but I know, uh, 63 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 2: I mean, I just think it was really and I 64 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 2: was really excited that they won the basically like the 65 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 2: Blockbuster award at the Globes. I thought that was really amazing. Yeah, yeah, 66 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 2: I'm really proud of May on the inside, Yes, which 67 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 2: was so good. Thanks. 68 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: You were fantastic in it. I loved your big episode 69 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 1: what is it, episode six I think or seven six? Yeah, 70 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: I really I texted you this, but I just really 71 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 1: loved you in that role. It was different and like 72 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: a new thing for you, and I loved it. 73 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 2: You were so good, much more close to like what 74 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 2: I actually am like, which is yeah, yeah, that's what 75 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 2: I mean. Yeah, usually play Yeah, it's like I'm so 76 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 2: I didn't realize. I'm so used to seeing you play 77 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 2: characters that are so far from you, and this was 78 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 2: really lovely to see something that was like very close 79 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,239 Speaker 2: to who you are in real life as a person 80 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 2: and like getting just getting to use also like your 81 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 2: charm and your light and you know, you play a 82 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 2: lot of dark characters. But what do you mean? 83 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, but that was I just really loved that. 84 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 2: I loved that. Yeah, I loved watching that. It was 85 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 2: it was really beautiful work, truly a joy to do. 86 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: It was truly a joy. Yeah, and looked like it 87 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 2: more better. 88 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: So today's episode comes from a listener you guys listeners. 89 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:04,280 Speaker 1: You've been so awesome with the requests. We love hearing them. 90 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: We love the voice notes. We have one today. If 91 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 1: you need help with something in your life, or you 92 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: have suggestions for a future episode, please email us at 93 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: Morebetter Pod at gmail dot com. Include a voice note 94 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: to be featured or not. You know, you can also 95 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: just write an email. 96 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 2: Dealer's choice. 97 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: But today we have a voice note from Lauren and 98 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: let's listen to it. 99 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 4: Hey, Stephanie, Melissa, coming to you from Australia. I wanted 100 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 4: to know your advice for long distance friendship slash relationships. 101 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 4: My best friend lives in Germany and even though I 102 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 4: talk to her every day, I still miss her a lot. 103 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 4: Regular travel is not an option for us, so I'm 104 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 4: grateful for any tips. Thank you, and I loving the 105 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 4: podcast from Lauren. 106 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 2: Oh that was nice. I accent. I can't do it. 107 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 2: I can't do it either. I want to learn how 108 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 2: to do it so bad. I know my stiffany Melissa, Melissa, 109 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 2: that was that was good? Oh, thank you, but I 110 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 2: just had to listen to it for a little while. 111 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 2: I have a good year. I have a good ear. 112 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: You do have a good ear, so Yeah, we're talking 113 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: about long distance friendships, which we have some experience with 114 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: given our occupations in life. 115 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, we leave home a lot. We're often not near 116 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 2: our families, so yeah, I get that, even talking on 117 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 2: the phone every day. 118 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I haven't seen you in real life, and like, 119 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: how long has it been? 120 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 2: I don't know. Actually, uh, I don't know how long 121 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 2: it's been. It's been long. 122 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: I don't think i've seen you since like last spring. 123 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: We're probably getting close to a year. 124 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 2: Jesus, No, that can't be right. Oh my god, I 125 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: think it is. I think it is. Holy Macaroni. Oh 126 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 2: that's so distressing. Okay, do you remember when during the 127 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 2: pandemic and you'd be like, at least me, I'd be 128 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 2: like sitting in my house, like I would do anything 129 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 2: to see my friends. Would drive anywhere. Oh yeah, I 130 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 2: don't care if they live in West Hollywood. I don't care. 131 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 2: I don't care how far away they are. I'll go anywhere. 132 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 2: And now I'm like, can you meet me? Can we 133 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 2: meet halfway? 134 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 3: Oh? 135 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 2: God? 136 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 3: Yeah? 137 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 2: What's been your experience with long distance friendships? You know, 138 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 2: some of them really last and some don't. Yeah. I 139 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 2: think sometimes you meet people where it's kind of easy 140 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 2: and you check in once in a while and then 141 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 2: when you see them, it's like no time has passed 142 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 2: and you're just catching up and it's so great. And 143 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 2: then some friends you need to tend it a little 144 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 2: more like a sensitive plant in your garden, where you 145 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 2: have to like get in there and check on it 146 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 2: and dig around and see if there's anything that's, you know, 147 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 2: festering or whatever. So it depends on the kind of 148 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 2: friends A that you want and B that you are. 149 00:08:56,360 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 2: I think some people are better suited to tending relationship 150 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 2: like that, and yep, some don't have, you know, like 151 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 2: some some people don't have the bandwidth, and that's okay, 152 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:14,559 Speaker 2: I think, yeah, yeah. For example, I have this friend Jen, 153 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 2: who lives in New Orleans, who actually met through another 154 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 2: friend who lived in New Orleans, and when I was 155 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 2: going there to shoot, she introduced me. She was like, oh, 156 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: you gotta meet my friend Jen. She's great, and like, 157 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 2: we went out for drinks one night and I thought 158 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 2: she was so funny and cool and she is just 159 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 2: an amazing person. She's around a lot for me at 160 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 2: a hard time. That was when my dad was dying, 161 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 2: and she was so fantastic and just like the cool 162 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 2: Like she'll wear like sunglasses inside and everyone's just like 163 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 2: who is that? Is she a producer or something? Like 164 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 2: everyone was like who's that? She's really great and like, 165 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 2: you know, we just randomly text and something that she 166 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 2: does that I love is that just like sometimes she'll 167 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 2: just like randomly send me, Like she sent big box 168 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 2: for us and it was full of like New Orleans 169 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 2: e stuff and some clothes for ras and you know, 170 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,440 Speaker 2: just like checking in and being like okay, but like 171 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 2: a surprise box. Like that's really like that's something that 172 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 2: I actually learned from her. And for one of my 173 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 2: friends that's doing a play in Kansas City right now, 174 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 2: I sent her a box just like of random shit, 175 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 2: like some stuff that I had like bought her and saved. 176 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 2: And then like also like a wig, you know, just 177 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 2: like r bullshit that I thought was funny. I think 178 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,719 Speaker 2: it depends on the person, you know and the friendship. 179 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 2: What about you? Yeah? I agree? 180 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 1: I I you know, I moved to LA when I 181 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:45,959 Speaker 1: turned thirty, so you know, I had my whole group 182 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: of best friends in New York that some were most 183 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: were from college, some were from after college, some were 184 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 1: from elementary and high school and you know, and we've 185 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: done an episode about how hard it is to make 186 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: friends as an adult. So my first few years in LA, 187 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: besides you guys at Brooklyn, you know, those were still 188 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: my people and they still are. 189 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,840 Speaker 2: I've done a better, you know. 190 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,360 Speaker 1: Eventually I realized I was I needed to give a 191 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: little more time and energy to like cultivating friendships like 192 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: in my community where I actually lived. That's funny, and 193 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: like you were saying, you also realize, you know, and 194 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,960 Speaker 1: at the time, like it was hurtful. The friends that 195 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: like didn't were harder to connect with, were harder to 196 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: like get in touch with or find a way to 197 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: like keep communication open. But then you just sort of 198 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: go like, well, that's that's life, man, and we're all 199 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: like doing our best and everybody's busy and it is 200 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: what it is, and like, you know, and then you 201 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,680 Speaker 1: just stick to the people with the people that that 202 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: happens a bit easier more organically. I think the biggest 203 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: thing for that I've noticed is of all my of 204 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 1: my core inner group of friends, like no one gets 205 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: pissed really when too much time has gone without talking, 206 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,079 Speaker 1: Like everyone is very open and understanding that like things 207 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: get busy, things get hectic, you know, and inevitably someone 208 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: will be like, hey, it's been a long time, Like 209 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: when when can we Like, we will set up dates 210 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: to FaceTime and catch up, you know, that's necessary for sure. 211 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: We will put it in the calendar. Are you around 212 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 1: on Sunday? Okay, it's three pm? Work for you great, Like, 213 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: let's put it in the calendar and we will do 214 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,559 Speaker 1: our ketchup calls. 215 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 2: And I think. 216 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: That that open understanding of like that sometimes we're going 217 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: to talk a lot. 218 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 3: You know. 219 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: One of my best friends just got married, so like 220 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: that was kind of a reconnecting event and we all 221 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: have been talking like almost every day for the past 222 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 1: couple of months and still ours and it's been so nice. 223 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: But I also know that like maybe in a month 224 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 1: or two, that's going to fall away a little bit 225 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: and people are going to get busy and then we're 226 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 1: gonna you know, get back in our routines. So there's 227 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: like a lot of like compassion and openness that I 228 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: think you have to have, but also you have to 229 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: be good about making sure. 230 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 2: Not too much time goes by, you know. Yeah, I 231 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 2: think that's something that like not being afraid to be like, Hi, 232 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 2: what are you doing? You know, like as long as 233 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 2: that isn't an empty high, as long as it's not 234 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 2: because I've definitely had friends that like they drop off 235 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,560 Speaker 2: the face of the earth and then they reach back 236 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 2: out and it's like what do you want? You know, 237 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 2: Like say I had I. 238 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 1: Had a big argument with a close friend when I 239 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:06,559 Speaker 1: had Enzo, and I felt like he kind of disappeared, 240 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,319 Speaker 1: like dropped off the face of the earth. And I 241 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 1: was like, Hey, you're one of my closest friends in 242 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:16,160 Speaker 1: this big life event happened, right, and you have no 243 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: connection to it because you don't even know what's going on, 244 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: like you don't even know what this has been like, 245 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: and you know, and he got a little upset. But 246 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 1: then I think he realized he had like another friend 247 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: tell him like, oh, she's just fighting for your friendship, 248 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: Like she's just fighting to like keep you in her life. 249 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 1: And then you know, we talked about it and and 250 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: then we got past it. 251 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 2: You know. 252 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: So it's also like, hey, it's been a minute, like 253 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: you know, or just I think being conscious too, I 254 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 1: try to be with my long distance friends of like 255 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: keeping track and tabs on, like when people have big 256 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: things going on, you know, and just yeah, okay for 257 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: this time, I have to be like extra caut like 258 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: conscio of like checking in because this person is up 259 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: for a job or they're looking for a job, or 260 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: they're moving or whatever it is. You know, like just 261 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: aware of what's going on in their life, just like 262 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 1: the big stuff, you know, because I think the big 263 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: stuff is when you kind of want the people that 264 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: know you the best around, Like that's when you need 265 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 1: those connections the most, when you don't have to explain shit. 266 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: They already know how you feel, you know, because they've 267 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: known you for so long. 268 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 2: I don't know. 269 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: That's that's kind of how I But it's hard. It 270 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 1: takes work, you know, it's not easy. 271 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 2: If if Floren's talking to her friend every day, right, 272 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 2: which is amazing that they talk at Yeah, that's crazy. 273 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 2: What kind of time do you have in your hands, Lauren? 274 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 2: I feel like something to maybe add to that is 275 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 2: like like a sit down. You know, maybe that the 276 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 2: conversations aren't hitting the way that you want them too 277 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 2: because you're not having these like deep deep I mean, 278 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 2: I'll say as an example, like one of my good 279 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: friends lives in Chicago, and she is traveling for work 280 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 2: all the time, and she's been really busy for the 281 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 2: last two months and it's only been texts. I haven't 282 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 2: a voice really, right. And so the other day, I know, 283 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 2: I knew she had a day off, and I was like, 284 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 2: can I talk with you? And she was like, yeah, 285 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 2: I'm going to make She's always doing two things at once. 286 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, I'm gonna make my food and 287 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 2: eat it. And I was like, okay, great, but I 288 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 2: was like, we have to talk like on the end, right, 289 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 2: So maybe what Lauren is searching for is like something 290 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 2: a little deeper. So maybe that's like do you need 291 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:46,119 Speaker 2: to plan, like you said, a zoom or a FaceTime 292 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 2: or a chat that's not like, hey, what are you doing? 293 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 2: You know, two seconds before you like go into target 294 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 2: or something, you need to like sit down and have 295 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 2: a moment, you know. Yeah, that's why it doesn't feel 296 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 2: like I haven't seen you in so so so long. 297 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 2: I mean I didn't even think about it, but like, 298 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 2: because we get this time with each other and we'd 299 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,199 Speaker 2: like sit down and actually look at each other and 300 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 2: talk to each other about stuff, right, Yeah, that might 301 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: be something that might make her feel more connected. Is 302 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 2: like an actual dedicated time where you're looking at each 303 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 2: other's faces and you know you're not like dicking around 304 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 2: on your phone or or yeah, you know, an actual 305 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,399 Speaker 2: dedicated time where you go, I'm on the phone with you, 306 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 2: and yes, I'm going to fold this laundry, but I'm 307 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,919 Speaker 2: also going to talk to you, like not just for 308 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 2: five minutes, but like a full hour about all the 309 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,400 Speaker 2: stuff we got to like process in our in our 310 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 2: day or whatever, and I need your help with right, Yeah, 311 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I think you're right. 312 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: I think that's probably why maybe she's feeling like she 313 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 1: misses her so much, because maybe, you know, maybe instead 314 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 1: of the daily chats that are maybe just hitting the 315 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 1: surface stuff. And I don't know how long their daily 316 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 1: chats are, but I would imagine they're quick. 317 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 2: I mean, girl, girlfriend camp be on, Lauren, are you 318 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,439 Speaker 2: on the phone for like two hours a day with 319 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 2: your bustie? Because we need more details, you know what. Also, like, 320 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:18,280 Speaker 2: here's something that she didn't mention, but I will say, like, 321 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 2: as someone who is very nosy, I love like one 322 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: of one of my favorite things at work is to 323 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,919 Speaker 2: be like, what's going on in your life? Tell me 324 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:33,160 Speaker 2: everything right and so not to spread Wachincha. But I 325 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 2: worked with the girl this past year and she was 326 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 2: away from her friend group because we're working on location 327 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 2: and she was away from her friend group, and she 328 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 2: was like struggling with like looking at Instagram and seeing 329 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 2: her friends all hanging out without her. On their stories, 330 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 2: they'd be you know, going here, going there, going to 331 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 2: this party, or going to that party, and they were 332 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 2: they were hanging out without her, and it made her 333 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 2: feel really left out. So that even though she was 334 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 2: in contact with all of them constantly, she still felt 335 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 2: really left out. And that's something that I think obviously 336 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 2: age and experience, but still, like still it's a feeling 337 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 2: like you got to talk to yourself through that feeling, 338 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,280 Speaker 2: right Like you got to be like, Okay, I'm not there. 339 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 2: If I was there, that would be different. If I 340 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 2: was there and they didn't invite me, then I have 341 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: to think about who my friends are, right, right, But 342 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 2: you're not there, So instead of wishing you were there 343 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 2: and feeling jealous and sad that you're not getting those 344 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 2: experiences with that person, it's like you got to turn 345 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 2: it and be like, how am I filling up my 346 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 2: own life, so that they are a part of my 347 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: life and the friendship isn't my whole life. And again 348 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 2: I don't know if that's Lauren, if if that's her 349 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 2: experience or not, but like, sometimes you can get so 350 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,160 Speaker 2: wrapped up in this idea this is my best friend 351 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,719 Speaker 2: and we're soulmates, and this is my person and they 352 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 2: understand me. And now they've moved far away, and I 353 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 2: don't know who I am without this person. It's like, 354 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,880 Speaker 2: you are you, you know you are, You're fine, You're 355 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 2: just fine. 356 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 1: I think you're hitting something really good and important. And 357 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,120 Speaker 1: I think I had that realization too those after those 358 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 1: first few years in la of like, you know, part 359 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 1: of me realizing, oh, I have to like also cultivate 360 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 1: friendships and community in the place that I physically live 361 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 1: live was realizing that, yeah, I was putting too much stop, 362 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 1: too much energy into these friendships that they just they 363 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 1: don't we don't live in the same city, like we 364 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: are long distance. Like it is what it is, and 365 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,400 Speaker 1: it's different what it it's different. But what it also 366 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: meant at the same time was that I had a 367 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: void I had. I missed having friends, I missed having 368 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 1: a group or you know people to be social with 369 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: or I have a friendship with and get into de 370 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: talks with, like that was the thing I was actually 371 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 1: also missing, Like, yes, I missed the people and I 372 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 1: wanted to do it with them the most. But once I, 373 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 1: I think, put more time and energy into cultivating my 374 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:19,160 Speaker 1: friendships in LA, I had less of those longing feelings, 375 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: you know. 376 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, less of that. 377 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: Like missing a person with dread, you know, or feeling 378 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: left out, like because my life was a little more full, 379 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 1: I had people to lean on. I had and I 380 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: have wonderful, amazing good friends in LA that are very 381 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: close to And it's like you can have both, you know, 382 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 1: and you can cherish those old friendships and those old 383 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 1: friends and those those ogs will be there for you 384 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,719 Speaker 1: when you most need them. 385 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 2: Yes, totally. 386 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 1: You can also have deep connections with the people in 387 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 1: your community. You know, you just have to put a 388 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 1: little time in effort into it and be vulnerable and 389 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,919 Speaker 1: open yourself up, you know, in the ways that we 390 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 1: like talked about in that one episode. But once I 391 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: felt like I did that, it all got a little easier, 392 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: you know, and then you're not putting all this on 393 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 1: those relationships too. 394 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, more better now, I will say the ones that 395 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 2: you do want to keep, right, Like the long distance 396 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 2: friendships that you do want to keep, they are, like 397 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,159 Speaker 2: you said, you gotta like do a little work a 398 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 2: little bit, right, Like you gotta text people, you gotta 399 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 2: sometimes call people. You got to if you can, You 400 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 2: got to visit people, right, Like, Yeah, it's not it's 401 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 2: not long distance. But I do have a friend who 402 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 2: lives in mid mid mid city who it's like, guys, 403 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 2: it's an hour drive in my house. She's a great 404 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,719 Speaker 2: friend though, and so like we will periodically do a 405 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 2: movie night over here because it's easier for them to 406 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 2: come to us, because you know, so like what they'll 407 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,199 Speaker 2: do is they'll come for dinner time, they'll be around 408 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 2: for bedtime and stuff, and then we'll go watch a 409 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,160 Speaker 2: movie downstairs in the basement. And that's really fun. It's 410 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 2: now it's like a little bit of a tradition. We 411 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 2: watched Oh my god, what was it called? His wiener 412 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 2: was out? What was it called? Do you remember this 413 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 2: murt around the dance blo? Do you better not kill 414 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 2: the group? H my god? Sulburn? Oh Saltburn, you guys, 415 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:44,160 Speaker 2: we watched Sulburn together? Oh, my god. We watched Sulburn 416 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 2: together and the minute spoiler alerts who haven't seen it, 417 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 2: the minute the minute that he was crying at the grave, 418 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 2: we started screaming at the TV. It's one of my 419 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 2: best memories I think of watching a movie ever, but 420 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 2: like doing that, that kind of stupid stuff with your friends, 421 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 2: like and it it. You know, like I don't see 422 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 2: her very often. She's in she's in school, she's getting 423 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 2: her master's, like, she's she's a bomb, super smart person, 424 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,679 Speaker 2: and I don't get to see her very often. And 425 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 2: so like little things like that, or like one of 426 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 2: my friends, the friend that I mentioned that lives in Chicago, 427 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 2: I'm actually going to go travel to see the play 428 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 2: that she's in because I'm just like dying to see 429 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 2: her and I want to see her work, you know, 430 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,639 Speaker 2: just stuff like that, Like next time in I'm in 431 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 2: New Orleans, I want to see Jen. I think Jen. 432 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,640 Speaker 2: Jen actually came out to she traveled to New York 433 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 2: when I had a movie premiering at the Tribeca Film Festival, 434 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 2: and she like came, She's like I'm gonna use my points. 435 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 2: It's like great, you know, planning, planning a little getaway 436 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 2: or planning a trip or making like you did with 437 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 2: the wedding. It's like making an effort to go to 438 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 2: a wedding to know that you're gonna like see your 439 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 2: friend get married and be a part of this big 440 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,560 Speaker 2: moment in their life that's really really special. And bonuses 441 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:04,120 Speaker 2: that you might get to see some other friends as well, right, Like, yeah, 442 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 2: we got to spend a whole weekend together and it 443 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 2: was great. 444 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 1: And it really is, like like you were saying, it 445 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 1: really is quality over quantity, you know, like I there 446 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,160 Speaker 1: are some friends I might only see once a year, 447 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: but as long as it's you know, and it's usually 448 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 1: a trip or like it's a long hang like you're 449 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 1: like you're saying, you know, you drive down to the 450 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 1: person or you meet in a city, and but that 451 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: quality time that's like it fills your cup for a 452 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: long time, you know, it really does, you know. And 453 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 1: if there's a way that they could meet in the 454 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 1: middle between. 455 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,560 Speaker 2: Australia and Germany, I don't know what that would be. 456 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:47,639 Speaker 2: Oh go Tokyo, No is it? Or will you figure 457 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 2: out what's in the middle of Australia and Germany that 458 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 2: it can't be Tokyo is it Tokyo. I'll look it up. 459 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 2: I wanted to be now, I really wanted to be Tokyo. Yeah, 460 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 2: Like planning a trip, is there like a vacationing spot 461 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 2: that's like somewhere in the middle that's not too expensive. 462 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 2: Listen to me. There were a travel podcast now Okay. 463 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: I checked, and it's generally like the Bay of Bengal. 464 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 2: So you could go to like Thailand or Burma, like 465 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 2: all those places have like gorgeous islands. You know that 466 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,719 Speaker 2: you can like rent like a little villa or something. 467 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 2: Oh fuck yeah, Oh my god, go to Thailand. You guys, 468 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 2: go to Thailand. You could meet each other in Thailand. 469 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 2: How cool would that be? You could have a fantastic 470 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 2: adventure and remember for the rest of your lives. Also, also, 471 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 2: I will say, sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder. 472 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 2: I will say. The flip side of this is that 473 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,400 Speaker 2: sometimes you're like, I'm busy, it's all my time, ausy 474 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 2: so much, and then when you're with each other on 475 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 2: a three day trip, you're like, oh my god, that's right. 476 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:57,399 Speaker 2: She is not nice to waiters. Oh I forgot you 477 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 2: know what I mean? Oh no, no, picky about when 478 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 2: she has breakfast, and I am not like that. I 479 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 2: can't handle that. I have to walk away. You know, 480 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,160 Speaker 2: I don't like that coffee order. That's too intense and involved. 481 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 2: I don't you know what I mean. So like sometimes 482 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,679 Speaker 2: you'd be surprised, like sometimes you you you love your 483 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 2: friends and you love them for everything that they are, 484 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,640 Speaker 2: but like, maybe you don't need a three day trip 485 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 2: with them. Maybe you just need to, like maybe you 486 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 2: to pack her a box and send her a bunch 487 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,160 Speaker 2: of I mean, like, I'm not this is the other thing. 488 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 2: You could write letters. I am not a letter writer. 489 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 2: I'm not a journaler. I've never been. I've tried so 490 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 2: hard I cannot do it. I literally have underneath me, 491 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 2: right here at my desk a drawer full of half 492 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 2: done journals with like weird little scribbles and drawings you 493 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 2: have adournal before. Yes, I'm okay, it's okay, it's okay. 494 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 2: But I will pack a box. I will pack a 495 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,879 Speaker 2: box and I will fill it with fun stuff. And 496 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 2: I are a very good thanksgiver. I love to do it. 497 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 2: So like maybe that's the way that you express like 498 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 2: I miss you, I love you. Maybe I can't afford 499 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,199 Speaker 2: a trip to Thailand. With you right now, but like 500 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 2: I'm gonna send you a little something in the mail, 501 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, maybe that's the connection. 502 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:16,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, two of my my two of my o G bessies, 503 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,360 Speaker 1: Michael and Alison, we just have like a group check 504 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: going where we send each other the dumbest videos and. 505 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 3: It's like. 506 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 1: And and half of them are like you know those 507 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 1: reels where somebody is like me and my bessie thinking 508 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,679 Speaker 1: that we're hiding our opinion on our face and it's like, 509 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 1: so oh, I like giving the shadiest look on their 510 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 1: face because that's us. And it's amazing because it's like 511 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 1: even if I don't talk to them, they're still making 512 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: me laugh once a day or ever, you know what 513 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 1: I mean. And it's like it's just connection or and 514 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: I find too that I don't know if you find this, 515 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: but like I have different communication things with each friend totally. 516 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: I have a friend that I will send the longest 517 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: voice notes to and we will just do that back 518 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,000 Speaker 1: and forth until we can like find a time to talk. 519 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 1: And I have another friend who like just can only 520 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,240 Speaker 1: do the like catch up calls, FaceTime calls, like can't 521 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: get it together with like other things and that's fine 522 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 1: because he's really good about making those dates and being 523 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 1: like and he'll be the first one to be like, hey, 524 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: it's been a minute, Like what's your schedule, Like when 525 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 1: can we FaceTime? And then I've yeah. And then I 526 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: have our mutual friend Lena. We marco polo with each other, 527 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: which is an app where you send like video messages 528 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 1: to each other. Okay, yeah, yeah, and like so it's 529 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:48,120 Speaker 1: like have different things with different. 530 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 2: Different ways of communication with different people. That's yeah. I 531 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 2: like that a lot because like different friends are different. Yeah. 532 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 2: That leads me to Okay, this is our like science 533 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 2: nerd time Corner. So NPR. NPR had this article life 534 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 2: Kit forced tips to stay connected when your friends live 535 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 2: far away, And it's kind of a lot of the 536 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,400 Speaker 2: stuff that we've been talking about already, so I'll read 537 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 2: you some of them. Be intentional about keeping your long 538 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 2: distance friend. We've talked about that. It's like, if you 539 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 2: want people in your life, you got to do a 540 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:25,560 Speaker 2: little work, right, use common interests to feel connected. So 541 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 2: the means the making and I just. 542 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: Spent twenty minutes at the beginning of this call talking 543 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 1: about film and television. 544 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 2: It doesn't and and this article is being like, it 545 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 2: doesn't really matter what it is as long as it 546 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 2: helps you initiate conversation. So I love that. Don't hesitate 547 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 2: to reach out. If you feel like your communications in 548 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 2: a rut, your friend probably feels that way too. Don't 549 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 2: be afraid to be the first one to reach out. 550 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 2: It shows your friend that they don't need to fear rejection, 551 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 2: which is really nice because sometimes I get that feeling 552 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,640 Speaker 2: of like, well haven't I sted hear in a long time? 553 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 2: I don't know, you know. And then this is basically saying, 554 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 2: don't be scared to do it, you know, yeah, which 555 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 2: I like. Conflicts are natural and healthy. Address them openly. 556 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 2: Now we haven't talked about this yet. From this article 557 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:20,720 Speaker 2: this is it says separation's hard, miscommunication happens, and just 558 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 2: because there's a limited amount of time you get with 559 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 2: your friend, it can be easy to let conflicts go 560 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 2: unaddressed and try not to sweep things under the rug. 561 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 2: In fact, addressing conflict is one of the ways you 562 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 2: can become closer with your friend. I will say from 563 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 2: personal experience this has happened to me. I had some 564 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 2: miscommunications with a good friend of mine and it was 565 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 2: just like it got really icky and I didn't know 566 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,360 Speaker 2: how to talk to her about it, and so I 567 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 2: ended up actually talking to a different friend about it, 568 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:50,240 Speaker 2: and because that friend is nosy like me, she got 569 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 2: in the middle of it and was like, oh, girl, 570 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 2: y'all need to talk. So we did. She really was like, 571 00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,560 Speaker 2: h I can't be in the middle of this. You 572 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 2: gotta talk her. So we talked. It's a good friend. Really, yeah, 573 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 2: it was really I mean, it was painful. It was 574 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,560 Speaker 2: kind of painful, but it was good in the end, 575 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:13,480 Speaker 2: because you know, sometimes stuff just goes, you know, unsaid, 576 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 2: and we're busy people and life is hard and blah 577 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. So like, I don't know, maybe Lauren, 578 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 2: there's something going on there that is maybe underneath some stuff, 579 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 2: and that's why you're feeling like you missed her so 580 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 2: much and you maybe don't feel as connected to her 581 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 2: as you want to feel. It's okay to just ask people, 582 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 2: is there something going on? Is there something you want 583 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 2: to tell me? You know? Yeah, But I mean it's 584 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 2: scary because like you just don't ever know what's on 585 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 2: the other end of that. You always hope it's like 586 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,640 Speaker 2: no You're perfect. You're the best friend I've ever had, Right, 587 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 2: But I thought that was really helpful. More better, you know, 588 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 2: something that I think I learned today was like it's 589 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 2: okay to have these different friendship vibes with different people, 590 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 2: meaning yes, the last thing that you were saying, especially 591 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 2: with friends that are far away. It's like different things, 592 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 2: different strokes for different folks, literally mm hmmm. Yeah. 593 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think, you know, I'm a person that 594 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 1: I think friendships are really important and valuable. Like now 595 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: we're seeing all these studies right coming out about community 596 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: being linked to like longevity and health, and like relationships 597 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: and like experiences being vital to like your health even 598 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 1: and so you know, I love my friends like so 599 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 1: hard and so deeply, and I feel lucky to have 600 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: amazing friends in my community. 601 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 2: And also like these og. 602 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 1: Long distance friends who are from a different time in 603 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,400 Speaker 1: my life who know me so well, and like I 604 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: feel very protective. 605 00:33:58,560 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 2: Of those friendships. 606 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, and it's all you know, but you have 607 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: to be you do have to stay like open and understanding, 608 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 1: and you know, like you were just saying, with the conflicts, 609 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,719 Speaker 1: like those conversations can be awkward, but as long as 610 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,799 Speaker 1: you always keep in mind that, like, you're only going 611 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: to bring those things up if you really love someone, 612 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: because if you don't care, you're not going to say anything. 613 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 1: You're just going to move on over it. Yeah, you're 614 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 1: just over it. You're just like whatever about that person. 615 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 2: You know. 616 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,520 Speaker 1: It's when it's somebody that you love and care about 617 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,439 Speaker 1: that you want to address. You know that you're even 618 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,920 Speaker 1: mad in the first place, right, because like, someone you 619 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,839 Speaker 1: don't give a shit about can't really make you that mad, 620 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: so you know. So it's I think on either side 621 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 1: of that, like remembering that you know someone's coming to 622 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,399 Speaker 1: you raising a flag or a conflict, it's it's because 623 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:49,479 Speaker 1: they give a shit about you. 624 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 2: Because they give it. Yeah. Yeah, Really, long distance is hard, guys. 625 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,840 Speaker 2: It's hard speaking of I miss you, it's really to 626 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,839 Speaker 2: I know I missed you too. I cannot believe it's 627 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 2: been that long. Wait, we need to figure that out. 628 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,319 Speaker 2: How long has it actually been. When did you leave 629 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 2: for Canada? Not before I live in Canada, Yeah. 630 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 1: July, July July, and then I was gone in like 631 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,920 Speaker 1: June part of June. So I don't I think we 632 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 1: saw I really think we saw each other in like 633 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:26,879 Speaker 1: April or May. 634 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 2: Maybe get the fuck out of here. That's crazy. 635 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 1: It might have been when we did the first episode 636 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 1: of this, was that the last time we saw each 637 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: other in person? 638 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:42,840 Speaker 2: When was that? Oh? What? No? When was that that 639 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 2: was May? 640 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:43,919 Speaker 4: Yeah? 641 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 2: I think it's May. I'm going to see you probably. 642 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 643 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,839 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Wait when does your show? When does 644 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,960 Speaker 2: your show actually start airing so that we can all 645 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:55,399 Speaker 2: watch it? 646 00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:56,120 Speaker 3: Oh? 647 00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 1: Yes, gross, point God in Society permiss Sundays No September. 648 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,760 Speaker 2: What am I talking about? February? No? Take that again? 649 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,120 Speaker 2: Take that again? Take it again? 650 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:15,399 Speaker 1: Grow Growth in Society premiere's Sunday, February twenty third at 651 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,600 Speaker 1: ten pm on NBC. 652 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 2: How exciting ten pm Easter. Yes, and then you know, 653 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 2: streaming on Peacock the next day. So yeah, and while 654 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,320 Speaker 2: you're on Peacock, also watched with a medal. Would you 655 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 2: know in season two is gonna premiere? Do you guys 656 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,359 Speaker 2: have a date? Probably probably in the summer. I don't. 657 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,840 Speaker 2: We don't have a date. But you know, there's a 658 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,440 Speaker 2: lot of special effects that have to take place, because right, no, 659 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 2: and that feels like a somebody got bit on the 660 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:45,280 Speaker 2: lip with a spider. So there's an entire scene where 661 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,600 Speaker 2: my lip looks like I'm a real housewife. Baby. It 662 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:53,759 Speaker 2: is crazy. My god, I have to watch it. Uh my. 663 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,880 Speaker 2: One of our producers was like, it looks fine. I 664 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 2: was like, you're out to lunch, brother, it looks crazy. 665 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,480 Speaker 2: I honestly can't wait to see what they did because like, yeah, like, 666 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,279 Speaker 2: are they going to fix it and post like the 667 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,359 Speaker 2: whole scene? I don't know is that the plan? I'm 668 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 2: not sure. Girl, it was Oh my god, that's hilario. Yeah, 669 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,799 Speaker 2: oh that's so exciting. Well, I can't wait for that 670 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 2: until then, long distance friend. I'll see you the next 671 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:26,239 Speaker 2: time that we record. Until then, long distance friend. Yeah, yes, hey, 672 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,919 Speaker 2: you love you too. Bye, guys, Bye, thanks for joining 673 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 2: us by More Better. Dude, you have something you'd like 674 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 2: to be more better at that you want us to 675 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:36,880 Speaker 2: talk about in a future episode. 676 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,399 Speaker 1: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried 677 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 1: one of our tips and tricks? 678 00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,719 Speaker 2: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at 679 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 2: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you 680 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,319 Speaker 2: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better 681 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,360 Speaker 2: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and 682 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 2: iHeartMedia's Mikudura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz, and 683 00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:00,720 Speaker 2: Melissa FUMERA More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, 684 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,520 Speaker 2: and Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama 685 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 2: and Leo Clem at w V Sound. This episode was 686 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,920 Speaker 2: edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and 687 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,239 Speaker 2: features original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy. Our 688 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,719 Speaker 2: cover art is by Vincent Remy's and photography by David Avalos. 689 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 690 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you 691 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 2: next week's Saga Bye