WEBVTT - Bonusode: More Would You Rathers and Advice #21 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:14.160 Many mores, and then that you choose Canada banatisms all. 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:21.599 Pass the real neighborhood from all the way. 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:29.040 Around the world. It steptacle and maybe checked the backs, 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:36.800 put your better believe because I haven't big news charticle, 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:40.000 and maybe checked the backs at the stranger that the 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:49.600 true driving me, but Dallas Baby put Dallas Banlan, thena 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:54.760 driving me, but Dalla's baby put Dadas Bandada, and driving 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:59.760 me but Dallas Baby put DAAs Bandela better driving me But. 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:07.720 Guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to a bananimals bonusode. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:13.320 These little bonies are just because we want to help 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.880 you get through your week and feel good about it. 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.720 Have us a little extra something to look forward to, 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:22.760 to break up the monotony that is being alive. 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:26.280 This is a little holiday bonusode. It is, isn't it. 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:29.920 I hope you're having a good little break, a good 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:32.840 little break getting away. Maybe you're driving somewhere right now. 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:36.320 Mm hmm this one. We have no idea if this 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:40.440 is family friendly, so I would assume not. Most of 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:45.080 the time these this is an adult podcasts for mature adults. 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:49.720 We did get a season recap from Spotify. The podcast 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:51.720 is growing folks. It's getting bigger. So thanks to all 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:53.680 the Bananamals out there. But I was it was funny 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:56.600 Kurt that our listenership, I won't say exact numbers, but 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:59.800 I will say we got the millennials on Lockdown. Yeah, 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:01.560 the percentage of millennials. 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:05.600 I was like, oh, okay, this is US millennials and 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:07.040 Gen X too. 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.920 Yeah, they love us. 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:13.359 Thank you, we appreciate it, and I love them I 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:14.079 doing it. 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:17.160 Yeah, it's a fun one to do. So I just 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:19.120 got back from Phoenix, Arizona. 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:21.919 You did, Why were you in Phoenix, Arizona. 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:25.280 Well, I was at a dinner, a birthday party dinner 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.560 about a month ago, and I was at a table 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:29.800 with my friend and you know him, also, Adam Ray, 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:33.000 the comedian. Ye, really nice guy, one of the nicest, 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.519 funniest people in comedy. And I was sitting with me 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.919 and his wife, Amanda, and he was like, dude, I'm 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.799 doing a tour of Doctor Phil Live. And have you 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.120 seen Adam doing this? Yeah? So Adam Ray, for those 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:47.120 who don't know, and I'm sure almost all of you do, 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.200 because if you have social media, you're aware of this. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:54.240 He dresses up full Doctor Phil suit, mustache, bald cap everything, 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:58.000 and then performs a live version of you know, his 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.960 version of the Doctor Phil Show. And it is so funny, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:03.919 it's incredible, and so I was like, where are you 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:05.519 doing the next ones? He's like, well, I'm doing a 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:10.359 really good one in Phoenix at the Celebrity Theater. And 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.760 I've always wanted to see comedy at the Celebrity Theater. 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.480 George Carlin did a special there, like it's that round 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.040 theater in the round sits about three thousand people, and 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.119 so I was like, well, come out. So I flew 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:22.600 out just to hang with them, and they put me 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.160 on the list. My buddy Norman got me in there, 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:28.480 and so I had the day to myself having fun. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.359 And I'm like, what do I want to do? Because Phoenix, 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.120 and you may know this, Curt Phoenix has some of 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.040 the best bars in America. 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:38.240 I did not know that. 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:42.200 I think it's a fairly recent last ten fifteen years 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:45.120 thing because of global warming and climate change, that it 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:48.400 is now an insufferable hell escape for about six months 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:50.960 a year, like in the one twenties, no water never rains. 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.520 It was over one hundred degrees one hundred days in 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:59.400 a row last year, So some wise people started making 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:01.960 the list bars. You can imagine, and I talked about 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:03.600 being on the train bar before, where it felt like 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.320 you were on a train car. So I'm you know, 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:08.920 I'm I'm at my hotel. It's got the south door 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:11.960 bar space. I'm just googling best new bars, best new bars, 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:16.160 and I saw this one called Carrie On, which is 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:20.280 like the inside of a high end private plane. So 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.200 when you're on it, you feel like you're on a plane. 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:25.480 What the servers are just like flight attendants that have 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:29.280 drink cars. Yeah, it seats well, it's big enough to 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.520 stand up, but it is round shape like a fuselage 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.320 of a plane, with plane sized windows at each table, 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:38.960 and then all the windows have sinked monitors, high toft screens. 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.920 That it's a flight from San Francisco to Mexico City. 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.680 So the plane takes off. It's really cool. So I 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:49.039 go and I see Adam's show as Doctor Phil Live 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:52.599 and it destroys in a way that I haven't seen 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:56.400 a comedy show destroy wal like ninety minute show, maybe 0:04:56.480 --> 0:05:01.040 more like crushingly and Adam could not be funnier at 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.280 it taught a lot of fan interaction, good guess all 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:07.000 that stuff. The best was early in the show. I 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:10.680 got a feel for who the audience was. When he's 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.120 doing some crowd work and there's a dude, a white 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:16.640 dude in late twenties on a date. He's wearing a 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:20.120 turtleneck and which is just a turtle neck, which is 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:23.240 a bold choice. Yeah, yeah, some people look very If 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.680 you're Idris Alba, wear that turtleneck, Yep, you look good. 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:29.640 If you're you and me, it looks like the rest 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:33.440 of our clothes blew away in a tornado and we're 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.800 wearing long John's. This is this is all we got. 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:39.400 It's like, hey, season screetings. So this guy's wearing a 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:42.240 turtleneck front row and he goes where you're from, Bud 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:45.919 and the guy goes Los Angeles, and three thousand people 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:52.880 boo so hard, really like boo, like boo, And so 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:56.240 then you just start laughing, and you know, doctor Phil 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:57.920 covers and all that stuff, and it was got some 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.039 laughs out of it. And I think one other time 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:05.240 somebody mentioned southern California and it was like boo. It 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:08.279 was incredible. So I'm like, thank god Adam wasn't trying 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.200 to be funny and talk directly to me. I just 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:15.560 like sunk lower in my seat. That's so crazy. I mean, like, 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.320 you know, people hate LA, but then when you really 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:22.200 hear it, you're like boom, all right. 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.120 So it's a specific set of people who hate LA 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:30.440 and hate California, and it's so funny to hate Californian. 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:37.560 It's like choosing the most beautiful place in all of America. 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:42.000 Be like, that's the that's the devil. That's the devil, 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:43.200 and it's like we're all. 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.719 Our delicious food grows. We hate these people. 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:50.200 All our technology comes from. 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.480 All the entertainment that we've defined our own personalities by. 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:57.719 We're written by these idiots that we think are gross 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:03.680 in California. As so, show's great hanging out backstage, Adam's like, dude, 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:05.760 I do a meet and greet. It usually takes two hours, 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:07.720 So why don't you just go to the after party bar? 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:09.280 And I'm like, where is it? He goes, it's this 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.120 new bar called carry On. It's an airplane. I go, 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.240 are you serious? Because I couldn't get in tickets released 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:17.640 on Mondays. This was like a Friday night show and 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:21.080 I was on the flight Friday And he goes, yeah, 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:24.640 I'm the voice of the pilot that says, ladies and gentlemen, 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:26.720 welcome to blah blah blah. We'll be flying for San Francisco. 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.480 The average flight time is it? So Adam Ray is 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:31.640 the vo in of the pilot, the fake pilot on 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:35.400 the plane bar. Okay, So the owners let him have 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:38.400 the VIP after party there because it's a brand new 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.400 bar and it is so cool. 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:41.640 I go in. 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:47.040 The flight attendants are these two beautiful women who stop 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.520 by your table. We're all chit chatting all the comics 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.280 and stuff, and then they're like, can I make you 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:53.640 a martini, sir? And then they shake you on martini 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:56.600 right there next to you. So table side martinis. 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:57.760 Oh my god, that's so great. 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:03.720 Then two people as pilots, as captains, you know, full ensemble, 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:09.680 are serving chicken nuggets, homemade chicken nuggets with caviar on 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:12.240 them that you Kurt, you, I've thought about you instantly. 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.440 I'm like, Kurt would eat five hundred of these were 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:19.040 so good and I hadn't eaten all day. And then 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:21.480 so they're serving amazing food, they're making drinks and then 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:23.280 you don't have to get up, and Adam's doing the signing, 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:25.920 and then before I know, it's two thirty in the morning. Bar. 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:27.840 Every other bar in the city is probably closed, but 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:30.360 because we were so hidden away in this secret little bar, 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:35.599 and so I'm like, all right, time to lift and 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.520 get out of here. So I say my goodbyes, I 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.319 hit lyft and then I get a message on my 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:43.640 phone and I just see the thing and it says 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:47.199 I'm your driver, brave man, and I go here we go. 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:51.839 I'm like, of course this happens. So then the next 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:53.120 and so I check it. I'm like, oh, I think 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.880 my driver's here. And I walk outside and it just 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:59.679 says have arrived. So notifications are I'm your driver, brave man, 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:00.520 how arrived? 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:01.839 Oh my god. 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.280 So I'm looking for a red car and I walk outside. 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.120 I say goodbye Adam, say goodbye to Amanda. And then 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:10.280 I spot my guy and he's waving. He's out of 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:13.000 his car. He's like two blocks away, just cruise right by. 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.480 So then I so, now it's two thirty, it's two 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:21.200 fifteen in the morning, and I am nine thousand chicken 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:25.040 nuggets drunk, and I've had so many martinis it's unthinkable. 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:29.360 Because they're bringing them to my chair. Yeah. So I 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.319 look at the lift app it loads, and my driver's 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:34.160 name is Brave Man. All one word. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.920 Oh oh that's his name. Oh oh, okay, I didn't 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.640 know that man has arrived. Okay, yeah, yeah. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.640 Yeah, Brave Man's in a Corolla. I walk out. 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.920 Every Brex is a Corolla. 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:51.800 Great car, great car. I my first car was a 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:53.400 champagne colored Corolla. Great. 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.480 Nice Honda Civic for me. 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:58.480 I bet they're still out there driving. That's the thing 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.000 about Honda Civic. And toward Akrola, they go twenty five 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:04.559 thirty years, no problem. Great in the snow too. And 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:08.360 so I walked this long distance and Brave Man is 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:12.040 laughing as I approach. I'm not I'm not stumbling drunk. 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.400 I'm not doing that tripp. I'm not tripping. There's nobody 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:16.680 else on the street downtown Phoenix, just me and Brave 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:20.240 Man and a red crowler. And he goes, hello, sir, 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:22.760 I'm Brave Man. I'm your driver. I go, hey, Brave Man, 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:24.760 what's up? And he goes, I see you with a 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:28.719 beautiful woman and I go yeah. He goes, and she's 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.079 not coming back to the hotel with you, haha. And 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.679 he's laughing. I go, well, did you see the guy 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:37.559 next to him? That's the beautiful woman's husband. So he 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:40.959 just blanked out the other guy and saw Amanda and me, 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:44.160 even though her husband was directly next to us, and 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:46.599 the guy I know better. So then I get in 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:49.280 the car and as we're driving the hotel, he says, 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.640 I said, Brave Man. That's a pretty cool name. He goes, 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:53.120 it is brave. You want me to tell you how 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:57.040 to turn off your camera? Yep? What does that mean? 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.839 He goes, so you must have another woman waiting for 0:10:59.880 --> 0:11:02.520 you back at the hotel room. And I go, no, 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.680 I don't. He goes, you're going home alone. I go yes, 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.520 I am, and he goes, oh, man, what you need 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:10.520 to do is you need to learn how to turn 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.960 off the camera. So when your woman wants to FaceTime 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:15.960 you in your hotel room, you can say I don't 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:18.200 know how to turn my camera on, because she's gonna 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:21.360 want you to show her your entire room to make 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.160 sure there's not a new girl in there. And I'm 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:25.600 starting to understand. 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:30.199 That is how committed relationships work. Brave man. The required 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:33.000 show me the entire room to make sure that you're 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:37.840 got face timing me with another person in the room 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:38.160 with you. 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:43.400 Yeah, I'm starting to understand why his name was brave Man. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:45.520 And I was like, does this happen a lot? And 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.400 he goes, he's like, just every time you say you 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.599 get a new phone and you haven't updated yet, you 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:53.600 don't know how to use your camera. I'm like, great, 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:57.559 this is a great, great strategy, brave Man. So he 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.080 drives me to my hotel and I oakingly say before 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:02.640 I get out, hey, there's a bar here. You want 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:04.480 to grab a drink. He goes, yeah, that sounds good, 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:06.840 and I go, I think it's actually closed. And then 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:08.040 I get out of the car and I look up. 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.640 I'm like, yeah, they're shutdown. Thanks brave Man. He's like, Okay, 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.120 don't remember the camera trick. I go, don't remember the 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:18.679 camera trick. So now he's just reverse psychology and me 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.360 or he's so mad that I invited him for a drink. 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:24.360 I think Brave Man wanted me to bring him to 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:27.520 the hotel room. But no, no, he did it. But 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.640 it was so funny that, like I was like, of 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:35.920 all the drivers, yeah, out here, I get this lunatic 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.360 guy named well, he was at alutic he was the 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:42.000 life of the party named Brave Man. And then I 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.959 just was screenshotting all his messages everything the whole time 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:50.160 because I'm like, this could go completely sideways. So Phoenix, 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:53.160 I love you to everybody. Go say hi to owner 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:56.760 Teddy at carry On. It's an incredible bar. And if 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.079 Brave Man picks you up and you're not with a 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:02.120 beautiful woman and you will feel like a loser for 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:06.480 the next fifteen minutes. God, he was so funny, dude. 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:08.600 Ah, here's one for Brave Man. 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.199 Folks. Shout out to brave Man who did get me 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.480 home safe and I do gave give him five dollars 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:18.160 and a five star rating. Oh hell yeah, you want 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:23.600 to do a hypothetical or yeah, hypothetical if we got one? Okay, 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:27.080 I got a few actually. Oh Caroline Flannagan, the lovely 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:31.800 and wonderful Caroline Flanagan sent Oh you know, we actually 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:35.400 got this one from another person too, same question. If 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:40.080 you were to partake in communion to you, what would 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.440 your body of Christ food item be and what would 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.680 your blood drink item be? Oh, she says, hers would 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:47.080 be Core's light and tater tots. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:48.600 Great answer, great answer. 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.240 I like that. So much worse light grape beer. 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:54.319 I love that so much. Oh this is a great. 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.800 So what if you were the body and the body 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.439 and blood of Kurt or the body of blood of 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.920 a Scottie. What would your my blood? 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:04.319 I wear it for it to be I want my 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.720 blood to be a vodka martini. 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.400 See we're on a martini spin. 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.000 You know what, Because I wanted to give a bit 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:16.839 of a pop, you know I wanted And also I 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:19.000 don't want it to be able to be faked like 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.360 the wine was always faked. 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.080 With juice and grape juice. 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.880 Yeah. Yeah, And it's just like no, no, he wanted 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:30.040 it to be wine, folks. He wanted to get a 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:35.080 little bit drunk. Also, what a wild idea that we 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:36.440 don't talk about enough. 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.280 Very strange, and that you can just go onto Amazon 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:42.040 and buy bags of eucharists whenever you want. There's just 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:43.800 bags and bags of them. I'm going to hand them 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:46.640 out of Halloween when you really spice the neighborhood up. 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:51.080 But also the idea that like it was never there 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:55.440 was never a thought in our minds as kids, or 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.240 as eighteen year olds, or as twenty one year olds. 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:00.800 Never a thought in our mind, is that like the 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:05.920 religion that we had been raised in practiced cannibalism on 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:09.760 like a base level. And then that was the originating 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.560 idea of the of the of the religion, is that 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.280 you actually ate the body and the blood of a 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:21.160 human being, because that is what your Catholics believe, that 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:24.360 it becomes the body, it becomes the blood when they 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:29.400 do the little tinkly magic and the that is so 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:32.400 crazy that it's all just based in cannibalism. 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:34.280 Is wild. 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:38.600 And then we judge like cannibalistic culture so crazily. 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:43.640 And yeah, let's give cannibals a break. Are we really 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:48.360 that different than the North Sentalese Islands or whatever? Are 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:49.680 you really that different? 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:53.200 So crazy? Okay, So that's gonna be my drink. What 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.800 what are you feeling? Drink or food or bite? 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:58.680 If I have a congregation, you know where I'm going. 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.960 I'm bringing out a big dog ballful of ice and 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.840 ice cold rumplements, and everybody's gonna be if you come 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.520 to the Church of Scottie, you're gonna dog ball some rumple. 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:10.960 You're gonna dog ball some rumple. 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.880 They're also gonna be drunk within a shot and have 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.640 incredibly fresh breath exactly. 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:19.000 Oh and I think I do know my my my 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:25.440 food item. Okay, it is a Ruffles plane ridged Ruffles 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:31.120 have ridges plain potato chip with a dollup of full 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:37.000 fat sour cream and a little spoonful a little spoonful 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.840 of of caviar on top. 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:43.720 God, I mean, that's why I knew you would love 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:44.200 that nugget. 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:44.520 It was. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:48.080 It was a it was a homemade chicken nugget with 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:52.160 a dollup of sour cream and caviar on it. I like, 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.000 I ate like ten because also the drunk you're getting 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:57.040 and if they don't have peanuts on that flight, I'm 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:58.960 gonna be eat in the caviar nugget. 0:16:59.320 --> 0:16:59.520 Yep. 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:04.440 So that's my so specific and beautiful. I think I'll 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:10.359 go dog bowl rumple for my blood and and uh 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:13.800 and you know, for for my not drinking sober parishioners, 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.600 I'll just have some listerine, yes, basically the same. So 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.639 just a nice chilled shot of dog bowld listerine. 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:26.160 It would be really funny that listerine is my blood. 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:29.960 Don't drink it, wash your mouth, spit it on the ground. 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:33.680 I once read and anybody who works in marketing or 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:36.840 advertising or academia. I once read that the concept of 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:45.440 bad breath was invented by Listine in advertising, like everybody halatosis? 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:46.880 Was that true? Yeah? 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:49.719 Yeah, the idea that that it was a medical condition 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.720 called halatosis. They made that up. That's incredible, that's incredible, right, 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:56.560 bad breath always existed because people smell bad, but. 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.840 Teeth rotted out of their heads by their twenties, which 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:04.920 is good for good for you know, fluoride in the 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:09.960 water and stuff. And then I think my food would be. Man, 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.359 I'm so tempted to say a party sub and you 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:15.639 just pass out a little slivered everybody. But I'm gonna go. 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.920 I'm gonna go just a tray of seven layer dip. 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.880 I'm going rumpled seven layer dips, so everybody can take 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:28.840 a scoop of whatever combination they want of those seven layers. 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:29.280 I like that. 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:30.639 I enjoy that a lot. 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:32.760 You're going to church every week, you know you might 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:34.920 some people put black olives on them. Get that that 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:37.240 seven and a half layer. But you say you just 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.679 want cheese and bean, I got your cup. You want 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.360 sauce and guac. The choice is yours. So yeah, I'm 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:47.600 going dog ball and rumple and seven layer dip Dealer's choice. 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.880 I love that so much. But you mentioned party sub 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:54.640 six foot party sub classic. Here's what I want to recommend. 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.960 This is my six foot party sub recommendation because when 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:04.720 you cut a foot party sub into eatable sub, yeah, 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:08.040 it's size and it can't eat it because it's now 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:13.159 you're holding the thinnest wedge of bread and it all 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:15.360 just the shit just falls out. It's impossible to eat. 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.720 So here's what my suggestion is. And I don't know 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.720 if it's possible, but if you can cut lengthwise first, 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:26.520 so you cut from tip to tail, cut it the 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:30.359 whole thing in half, and then cut it and you 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:35.000 give people larger pieces, but it's only half the bread. 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:37.240 I understand what you're saying, and that I. 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:39.719 Think you could hold maybe with like three fingers. Then 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:41.239 all of a sudden you got something that you can 0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:45.440 actually eat, as opposed to it's a horrible it's a 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.399 horrible situation. Look at this delightful six foot sub. You 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:49.920 love it, you love it, you want to eat it, 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:50.480 and you can. 0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:56.159 They are fine in Maryland. The place Santoni's Glyndon, Maryland 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:58.320 did a circle sub. It's a party sub, but it's 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.560 just a circle. What do you mean? Man? Thing is 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:04.399 so good pizza? They know they bake their own round 0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:07.160 bread and so probably if you straighten it out would 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:10.960 be like three or four feet and it's to your point. 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:14.080 You can cut it into a wedge instead of those 0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:18.160 weird little triangle or rectangles that you can't hold onto. Also, 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:20.120 you feel like you have to eat the party sub 0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:22.280 in normal times like corn on the cop which I love, 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:24.800 you know, but you feel like you almost have to 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.080 hold the sides and then eat the middle. Yeah, as 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:31.040 if it's like a serial killer walked into the office 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:35.000 party and was like, I understand how normal people do things. 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:39.160 Also, why is it that of all the party food 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:42.160 subs were the only one to be like, we're gonna 0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:45.000 make a six foot version of this, whereas like a 0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:47.520 pizza was never like you know what we're gonna do. 0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:50.160 We're gonna have an eighty inch pizza. 0:20:50.400 --> 0:20:51.160 You know, like no one. 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:53.800 I guess there is one place in La that you 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:56.560 can get that at, but like it's not a very 0:20:56.640 --> 0:20:59.160 common thing to just have like a giant round pizza. 0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:02.480 No, there's a place in La. So when I would 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:04.920 throw those really big parties. Like those huge parties, I 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:08.359 would buy like two or three four foot party subs 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:11.159 from this place in my neighborhood, and I would keep 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:13.000 them in the fridge until it got to be around 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:14.840 eleven PM. Then I would just put all three of 0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:16.920 them out on my counter at once, and people would 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:20.440 be like, what is this, and I was like, you'll see. 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:24.560 And then somebody makes that first cut and everybody's been drinking, 0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:27.840 everybody's on drugs, everybody's having fun, and then those subs 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.960 would disappear within two hours. We're talking twelve feet a 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:32.840 sub or out the door. 0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:37.000