1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,719 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Riley, your favorite 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we got some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 2: from our sponsors that keep the show alive. 5 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: My husband kept telling me that I'm too masculine for him. 6 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 3: That sounds like a hymn problem. 7 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,799 Speaker 1: This is honestly kind of crazy, and he's gotten a 8 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 1: little obsessive about it. Basically, in the past year, my husband, 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,959 Speaker 1: twenty seven mail, has been talking a lot about traditional 10 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: roles and how the Bible portrays them. I twenty seven female, 11 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: will stay here that I don't mind this and love 12 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: the idea, but our bills say otherwise. So I told 13 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: him that when he makes enough for us to live 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: solely on his income, we will implement this completely. By 15 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from deleted and if you want 16 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 17 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime subreddit. 18 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 3: I'm Riley. 19 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 4: I am Paul Roseberry relationship expert here to tell you 20 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 4: whatever you want to know about how to make relationships flow. 21 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 3: Didn't mean to rhyme like that, but that's what we're 22 00:00:58,720 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 3: doing for now. 23 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: I work from home and care for our one and 24 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: a half year old son, and everything else is second priority. 25 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: My husband works in an office and goes to the 26 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: gym before he comes home. 27 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 3: I cook all the mills. 28 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: He doesn't cook. We both do laundry and clean when 29 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: we can, usually together before or after dinner. I feel 30 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: like this is already more favored on his side because 31 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: I still am with the baby all night and I 32 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: usually work after bedtime too, But I don't complain because 33 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: at least he gets up and makes his own lunch 34 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: and breakfast if I don't prep anything. I usually have 35 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: large stock of homemade food in the freezer too, and 36 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: he cleans when he comes home. Problem is that he's 37 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: unhappy about it, though, and he really wants me to know, 38 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,559 Speaker 1: like slamming things around and cursing in the morning, coming 39 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,319 Speaker 1: home and complaining about every little thing. Why aren't the 40 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: dishes washed? Why is it laundry done? I don't know, 41 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: maybe because our child is teething and I've been at 42 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: work during the same time as you. Then randomly he 43 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: will bring up that he's been listening to some Christian podcast, 44 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: and I'll start off by saying that it explains how 45 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: Christian men need to act, and I'll listen and say, grey, 46 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: that's some good stuff. And he'll take that cueue to 47 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: start talking how Christian women need to act, which is fine, 48 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: except he'll start pointing out certain behaviors that I do 49 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: or don't do. Also, I'm a Christian man, Sure I 50 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: am boiling alive on the inside right now? 51 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 3: Yeah? 52 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. For example, here's one. He keeps saying 53 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: that he needs to be in charge and the wives 54 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: are supposed to be feminine. If it becomes an argument, 55 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: he'll say that I'm too masculine. 56 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 3: This guy can't be wrong. Have you noticed that he 57 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 3: can't be wrong? 58 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 4: Like this guy and his entire persona that he has 59 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 4: cooked up in his mind is based off from this 60 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 4: outside identity, this Christian identity. 61 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 3: Well, these people say that this out. 62 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,679 Speaker 4: Should be But didn't he say something about did I 63 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:45,959 Speaker 4: hear leadership. 64 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 3: Or some leadership? Yeah? 65 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, he should be eating in charge, in charge. 66 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,359 Speaker 3: Yeah he's not. He's not. Do you know what a 67 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 3: leader does? Was that? 68 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 2: Uh? 69 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 5: They lead? 70 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 3: Yeah? They lead? 71 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 4: So just because you have some idea of something you 72 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 4: saw written somewhere, it's like a dude who reads an 73 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 4: article from a magazine and he's like, well, this is 74 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 4: how it should be, and you're the one dropping the ball. 75 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 4: I don't care, dude, get a grip. Run your house like, 76 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 4: lead your house like. 77 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: It seems like this is a leader that you're working 78 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: for and not working with. 79 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know that's a good way to put it. 80 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 3: I or not with, And of. 81 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: Course he's going to be taking the lead in the 82 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: household in ne eure upset and you're like, oh, no, blah, 83 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: it just man. I'm a stubborn person. I'll admit that, 84 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: but I won't say I'm a masculine person. I'm gentle 85 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: to my daughter. I enjoy calmer things in life, and 86 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: I love dressing up and being pretty and all that stuff. 87 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: Can't rely on him. He has so much to say 88 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: about how Christian women need to act, yet he doesn't 89 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: act like how he says a Christian man needs to act. 90 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: I find it very frustrating that he has more expectations 91 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: of me than he does of himself, if that makes sense. 92 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: He will make a mistake, or he'll be too tired 93 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: to clean up after work, or he'll be home and 94 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: not do anything. And that's fine because he does it. 95 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: But if I do the same, he blows up. He 96 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: expects so much from me every day. I don't think 97 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: it's fair, and I tell this is where I try 98 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: to explain to him, and where he thinks I'm masculine 99 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: is because I can't be feminine around him. I'm throwing 100 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: around these phrases that he uses. By the way, I 101 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: hope it makes sense. He's never been reliable. If I'm 102 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: sick or tired, he will get upset that I'm not 103 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: keeping up with my usual I've never been able to 104 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: be taken care by him. I'll ask for water bottle 105 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: at night when I'm sick last night because I'm actually 106 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: sick right now. He'll say in an annoying tone to 107 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: go get it myself. And when my daughter cried, he 108 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: gets annoyed that I don't get up right away and 109 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: will push me to get over to her even though 110 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: I have a fever. This goes back to our whole relationship, 111 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: where I've been sick a few times, had our daughter 112 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: worked fifty hour weeks before our daughter, and yet I've 113 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: never received any special treatment or care. If I bring 114 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: up any issues or I'm vulnerable, he gets upset with me, 115 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,039 Speaker 1: So I can't be vulnerable around him. Anymore, Paul, it's 116 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: just getting worse every sentence. 117 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and unfortunately this isn't unique. 118 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,840 Speaker 1: Really, No, does this happen a lot, a lot, Probably 119 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 1: quite a while back, early on. 120 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 4: There was some miscommunication right now where he may have 121 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 4: felt unsupported, uncomplimented. And I'm not even saying this is justified. 122 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 4: Maybe he just didn't feel that he got the support. 123 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 4: A guy if he's going to go out and be 124 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 4: a hero. 125 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 3: He wants a cheerleader, wants a woman to cheer him on. 126 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 3: She's pumped. 127 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 4: He's the man, like, just the coolest guy in the world. 128 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 4: You want to feel that way, you want from your 129 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 4: own wife, of course you do. He didn't feel that 130 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 4: way in the beginning. This is where guys dump it. 131 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 4: This is where guys blow it. 132 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 3: They don't know how to confront it. 133 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 4: Oh, guys will put up with a situation that doesn't 134 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 4: feel right if the relationship solves a problem other than 135 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 4: the relationship itself. Guys will use relationships to fill holes 136 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 4: in their life. 137 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 3: Say if you're oh my gosh, dude all the time, 138 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 3: all the time. Most relationships are just drugs. Wow, that's 139 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: what they are. 140 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: Because a lot of the times we read stories and 141 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: it just feels like a guy's with a girl just 142 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: so time can pass. 143 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 4: Yes, but go a little further, say she's super hot 144 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 4: and he never felt that cool before. You ever seen 145 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 4: a guy who wears a Porsche shirt because you can't 146 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 4: park the Porsche indoors? 147 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,359 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? He wants you to know. 148 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 3: Or a guy with a Ferrari hat. Oh yeah, it's like, oh, 149 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 3: he needs me to know he can afford a Ferrari. 150 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 4: This guy's got the gold rolex that makes shirt, you 151 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 4: know what I mean? 152 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 3: Like because he needs something else. 153 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 4: To vouch for his value. He doesn't feel valuable on 154 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 4: the inside, so he needs something else to prove it 155 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 4: to other people. Because he cares more about other people, 156 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 4: he doesn't know how to solve it for himself. 157 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 3: Wow, huh, And that's what a beautiful woman will do. 158 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 3: You get a hot wife, you won. Yeah, that's it, 159 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 3: game over. You know what I mean. 160 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 4: You're the coolest guy. You're you're in the cool club. 161 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 4: But is that why you did it? Because she was 162 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 4: hot and you needed that? 163 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 1: Did you do it because you loved her? Because of that? 164 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 3: You can't love her. 165 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 4: You can't if you get in a relationship based on need, 166 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 4: it can't have anything to do with anything else because 167 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 4: you can't reach it. Once it's based on need, it 168 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 4: can't be you can't even factor in interest. 169 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 3: Opie continues. 170 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: Now, today he was so pissed, he was slamming every 171 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: He tells me angrily that I had better do laundry 172 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 1: today and then leaves. I get a text from him, 173 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: we're having a talk today. I've effing had it. I 174 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: have no idea what set him off. I've been trying 175 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: to talk to him for so long. Just a week 176 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: ago I told him again and whenever he's ready to talk, 177 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: I'm ready to listen. We can have a discussion. This 178 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: text just felt like a slap. I don't know how 179 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 1: to feel. I feel so tired of everything he's been doing. 180 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,000 Speaker 1: Has anyone else gone through this advice on what to 181 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: say and how to go about the discussion? 182 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 3: Later on, I got she's so good. 183 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 4: I hate I'm not trying to like be the guy 184 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 4: who just favors the first complaining woman out the gate. 185 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 3: But she's good. 186 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: She's very patient with him. 187 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, she's got to you know, I hate to compare 188 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 4: it to sales, but I often do I've worked in 189 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 4: sales for a long time. There's a lot of psychology 190 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,559 Speaker 4: that comes from sales. But she's got to be willing 191 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 4: to walk away. Oh wow, I hate to say it. 192 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 4: Now Here's the thing I will always put in the 193 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 4: same breath. Willing to walk away is probably the first 194 00:07:56,160 --> 00:08:01,119 Speaker 4: step to assuring you will not have to walk away. 195 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 4: Say you're going to buy a car. First thing that 196 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 4: you learn in car sales is the person who's gonna 197 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 4: win the negotiation is the person who's easiest to walk away. 198 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 4: You roll up to a car dealership on a ten 199 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 4: speed talking about you don't know, you got to be 200 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 4: to work tomorrow. 201 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 3: You're gonna pay the most that sticker costs. You need it, 202 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 3: you need it, you need it. 203 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 4: But you roll in in a nice car and you're like, well, 204 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 4: I'm thinking about picking up something second for the summer. 205 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 4: I don't know, you know, I could take it or 206 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 4: leave it. You know, i'ven't decided if I even want 207 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 4: a second car. They're gonna cut every d you know 208 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 4: what I mean. They just want you to buy something 209 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,679 Speaker 4: at ay because you might not even buy it all, 210 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,679 Speaker 4: you know what I mean. So the comparison here is 211 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 4: that and it's really again, this guy probably didn't have 212 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 4: a line in the sand either when it was time 213 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 4: going way back, because we got to dig into this, 214 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,319 Speaker 4: We got to dig in there's scar tissue. 215 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 3: This is deep, this is deep. 216 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 4: The initial conflict was so long ago that neither of 217 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 4: them can see it, but it began. Probably he didn't 218 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 4: have a line in the sand. He's being whiny, whiny, 219 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 4: because there's no place in negotiation for whining. What it 220 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 4: is is that as a leader, you've got to state 221 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 4: how you see things need to work, and then you've 222 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 4: got to listen to hear the other side and be like, 223 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 4: well does that work? 224 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 3: Or no, okay, what does? What doesn't? He didn't do that, 225 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 3: and he got snippy. 226 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 4: And the idea when you hear of a guy slamming 227 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 4: around the house yelling, you know what I mean. Back 228 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 4: in the day there were you know, it got even 229 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 4: worse I'm sure still today, but hopefully less. That's a 230 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 4: guy who has no power. The loudest guy has the 231 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,680 Speaker 4: least power, the guy who's slamming things. Once you become physical, 232 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 4: you've eliminated your mental strength. It's no longer a function. 233 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 4: You don't have it. You've said, well, that doesn't work. 234 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 4: So now I got to try to be physically intimidating. 235 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 4: I gotta slam something on the counter. To sound loud, no, no, 236 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 4: speak softly. Carry a big stick was the thing in 237 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 4: politics way back in the day, because when you speak softly, 238 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 4: it means you know you have value behind you. 239 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 3: You don't have to yell yeah, bring something to the table, 240 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 3: and you're willing to take it away. 241 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,679 Speaker 4: God, I hate to go that far, but I think 242 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 4: in this case to really get his attention, she's going 243 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 4: to say this isn't working. 244 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's got to mean it. 245 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 4: She's gonna say this isn't working neither of us, and 246 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 4: you make it about both of us. It's not me 247 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 4: versus you, US US US cohesion. Even in sales, I 248 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 4: never say you this and I that. 249 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 3: I say we. 250 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 4: Our goal is to work together to get this common goal. 251 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,439 Speaker 4: You know, you want a car, I want to sell 252 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,599 Speaker 4: you a car. In relationships, you want a relationship, I 253 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 4: want a relationship. We want to be happy together. We 254 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 4: want to live on the same roof. We want to 255 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 4: raise our kid with a married couple, for parents, not 256 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,439 Speaker 4: to single. You know she's going to say this isn't working. 257 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 3: For either of us. There's no way. You're clearly miserable. 258 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 3: Call him out. 259 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 4: Call him out, don't go against it. Agree with them, 260 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 4: agree with them. You're clearly miserable. You slam things around 261 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 4: the house. I'll be honest, I am too. We are 262 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,719 Speaker 4: very unhappy people. Two wayss can go. 263 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 3: And that's the end of the story. 264 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 5: We're going to read the next one. 265 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 6: My mom tried to take over my wedding, so I 266 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 6: told her to planer own. 267 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 7: Why don't you just get married? We could both be married. 268 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 5: Yay, double wedding. 269 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 6: I thirty two female, recently started planning my wedding with 270 00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 6: my fiance, thirty one male cougar WHOA, and my mom 271 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 6: immediately jumped to help us plan. I thought at first 272 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 6: it'd be okay, Yeah, it'd be okay. But she will 273 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 6: call vendors and venues she likes. We'll give them my information. 274 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 6: So they call me about a scheduled time and my 275 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 6: mom swoops in to say. 276 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 5: It'd be rude not to go since they invited you. 277 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,679 Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Guilty Balance five five 278 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 6: to six, and if you want to submit your own stories, 279 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 6: go to the ur slash Okay, story Times subredded. 280 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,199 Speaker 5: I'm a Savannah, I'm Dakota, I'm Riley. We had to 281 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 5: get some good advice in a little goofy manner, but 282 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 5: we don't have all the answers. Obviously I do, but 283 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 5: I don't know about these two bozos. 284 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 6: Hey, hey, and maybe you could give me some advice 285 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 6: down in the comments because I'll read all of it. Yes, 286 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:47,319 Speaker 6: as Obie says, it is obvious it was her after 287 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 6: the third time, when she wouldn't stop giggling and admitted 288 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 6: to calling beforehand and making appointments female not male. 289 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 5: Two women, two ladies. 290 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 7: Love it is. 291 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 6: I wouldn't take issue with this, but my mom and 292 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 6: I have wildly different tastes. Every time me or my 293 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 6: fiance tell her something like how we want to have 294 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 6: this color for the tablecloths or these flowers, she'll tell 295 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 6: us that they look bad or will give us her 296 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 6: own plan. She recently showed us a massive binder of 297 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 6: different ideas she wants us to look through. It's exhausting. 298 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 6: At every step she will insist on looking at her ideas, 299 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 6: and when we reject them, she'll throw a fit and 300 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 6: tell me I don't love her because I ignore all 301 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 6: her wishes. I also want to add, I think she's 302 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 6: had it in her head since I was a kid. 303 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 6: She'd plan my wedding even before I came out and 304 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 6: dated men. She'd comment on how excited she was for 305 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 6: the wedding, and when I told her my fiance proposed, 306 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 6: she immediately started berating me about when we'd have the 307 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,319 Speaker 6: wedding so she could help us plan it. Part of 308 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 6: it is that when she married my dad it was 309 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 6: a small courthouse affair because she was pregnant with me 310 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,959 Speaker 6: at the time and never got a proper wedding. 311 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 7: Oh, it's all together. That makes me a little more sympathetic. 312 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 6: My dad also passed away seventeen years ago, and she 313 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 6: dates sporadically, but never for longer than a few months. 314 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 6: The last time me and my fiance went to see 315 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 6: a venue, she tagged along and made all these comments 316 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 6: on how gross everything was, pointing out all the tiny 317 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 6: things wrong with it all. The person showing us was 318 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 6: getting annoyed, My fiance was getting annoyed, and. 319 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 5: So was I. She eventually said, if this is. 320 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 6: Where my wedding would be, I'd never even consider this dump, 321 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 6: despite it being absolutely beautiful and within the budget. I 322 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 6: snapped and told her that if she wanted to plan 323 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,840 Speaker 6: a wedding so badly, should get remarried. It was cruel, 324 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 6: but I was so tired of her trying to have 325 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 6: her perfect wedding through me. My fiance thinks I'm not 326 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 6: at fault, but the rest of my family doesn't. Am 327 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 6: I the a home and there's an edit here. 328 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 7: You're not an ahole, but I hate your grammar. Dude, 329 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 7: you're doing weird stuff. Is she out of line? 330 00:13:59,400 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 3: Yeah? 331 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 7: But did you make it worse? 332 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 6: Probably if you hadn't mentioned how you felt before and 333 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 6: then just blew up, then yeah, I do think that 334 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,439 Speaker 6: you're the a hole for that. I think you could 335 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 6: have been like, hey, mom, I just don't I'm gonna 336 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 6: do my thing because remember it's me getting married, remember 337 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 6: me me nice? Yeah. 338 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 8: I think they had said that before, and it was like, 339 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,240 Speaker 8: especially so embarrassing to be in a place where you're like, oh, 340 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 8: this is so great, but then. 341 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 7: It's like your mom is being like that's wrong. 342 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 8: I know, that's weird, and it's probably like right in 343 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 8: front of the person who's like in charge of the space. 344 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 7: So it's like, dude, what are you doing? 345 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 5: Yeah. 346 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 8: It's like going to a restaurant and like loudly being 347 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 8: like this food is terrible. 348 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 5: Yeah, and everyone's like it's. 349 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 7: Like, okay, pipe down. 350 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 6: There's an edit adding answers to a couple common questions. 351 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 6: Is she pain for the wedding? No, she's not paying 352 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 6: a penny. Why don't you set boundaries with her? We have, 353 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 6: she doesn't listen and will cry and gill me up 354 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 6: and my fiance until we go along with her, or 355 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 6: look at what she's picked out for us. I don't 356 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 6: think you're the A one anymore, you know, I bring 357 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 6: it back. I'm gonna take that, rewind it back. 358 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean you're not the A hole, but I 359 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 8: just again And it's like saying that in that moment 360 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 8: probably felt like it was like a pressure release, but like, 361 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 8: now you're gonna pay that back in all the like 362 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 8: freaking just annoyingness that you're gonna have to deal with. 363 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 8: So now she's gonna go spinning the whole story your 364 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 8: old family brought like this is now gonna turn into 365 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 8: a nightmare for you to do. I mean it was 366 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 8: already annoying, but now I feel like you it's gonna 367 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 8: ratchet up to the next level. 368 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 5: Yeah there's an update though. Hello everyone. 369 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 6: I took all of your advice to heart, and me 370 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 6: and my fiance had to sit down and looked at 371 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 6: the comments together and we agreed we both need to 372 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 6: grow spines. Our wedding planner is truly a saint and 373 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 6: had no problem setting up passwords with vendors like some 374 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 6: people suggested, and it was a great suggestion, so thank you. 375 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 6: We then invited my mom to dinner and told her 376 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 6: that she has to stop trying to help us with 377 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 6: the wedding. She started off bad as she brought her 378 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 6: binder and had her own wedding dress in her car. 379 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 8: Whoa, whoa, Okay, yeah, there's the dress, so she want 380 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 8: you to wear that. 381 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 7: Oh that's actually kind of sweet. 382 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 6: But none of us can wear my mom's dress because 383 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 6: she was five six and like one hundred and twenty 384 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 6: pounds and that's. 385 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 5: Just not me. 386 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 6: Her dress is in very bad condition, would not fit 387 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 6: either me or my fiance, and is quite frankly hideous. WHOA, 388 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 6: you got some resentment, Opie, You gotta you gotta chill out. 389 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 5: I know you. Your mom's just trying to do what's best. 390 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 7: But well, hold on read that next one. 391 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 6: I would never say that to her face, though, Uh, 392 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 6: I've told her every time she's asked that I want 393 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 6: to pick out my own dress and she should keep 394 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 6: hers for if she wants to get remarried. She assumed 395 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 6: that we had invited her to apologize and let her 396 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 6: plan the wedding. However, she wanted, oh no, well. 397 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 7: You know what they say, expectationously to disappointment. 398 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 3: Haa gess an uphill battle to fight. 399 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 7: Now how she. 400 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 6: Jumped to that conclusion, I have no idea. We lied 401 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 6: about not wanting her to get overly stressed and the 402 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 6: hope she'd take it better than telling her that she's 403 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 6: been causing problems and as she hasn't been helpful. Girl, 404 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 6: look me in the eyes right now, tell your mom 405 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 6: how you feel, honestly, honestly. 406 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 5: It doesn't have to come out rude. Just be like this. 407 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 6: This is honestly how me and my fiance feel. We 408 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 6: don't want your help. Sorry, You're still invited to the wedding. 409 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,879 Speaker 6: You are welcome to enjoy the wedding. You are welcome 410 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 6: to even maybe maybe even do a dance with me, 411 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 6: but I do not want you planning it. 412 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 5: Thank you, Mama. 413 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 7: The wedding that you have to plan has to be 414 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 7: my wedding. But you're trying to plan my wedding like 415 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 7: it's your wedding. Like, so the taste can't be what 416 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 7: you like. They have to be what I like, and then. 417 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 5: You can still do it. 418 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 8: But if you can't agree to that, you cannot help 419 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 8: because it's not help. 420 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not help, it's hinder. 421 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 6: She didn't take it very well and started crying no, no, 422 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 6: and saying all she ever wanted was for me to 423 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 6: have the perfect wedding, and she'd already given up getting 424 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 6: the perfect son in law and grandchildren. So at the 425 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,960 Speaker 6: least we could do is let her plan the wedding. 426 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 5: Nice try, but that's called manipulation. Gass lining to say. 427 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 8: You could also just be like I ran a five 428 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 8: K twelve years ago, let me plan your wedding. It's 429 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 8: like not that none of that matters, completely irrelevant. 430 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 5: It's true. 431 00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 6: It stunned us both, as she has never said a 432 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 6: bad word about me liking women, not when I came out, 433 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 6: not when I first want, not when I got my 434 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 6: first girlfriend, not when me and my fiance got engaged. 435 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 6: That put me over the edge, and I told her 436 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 6: that she wasn't going to plan anything. She was a 437 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 6: guest and nothing more, and I would be cutting her 438 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 6: speech if she was going to behave like a child. 439 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 6: She had a full on tantrum, So me and my 440 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 6: fiance paid and left her to cry and scream in 441 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 6: the restaurant. I mean, I think that it's gone past 442 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 6: the point of no return, as they say the earth. 443 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 8: Yeah, I think it's kind of got It's unfortunate it's 444 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 8: gotten here. But there's not really anything you can do 445 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 8: other than just keep her on the outside of the planning. 446 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 8: She's literally looking at your relationship with your fiance as 447 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,640 Speaker 8: a thing about her, where it's like I've given up grandkids, 448 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 8: where it's like you actually never had a deciding vote 449 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 8: in what's going on here. Yeah, so you didn't give 450 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 8: up anything because that was never your decision. 451 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 6: And it's true she put that expectation on herself and 452 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 6: it all came crashing down. 453 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 3: Right. 454 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 6: That was all fine and dandy until her Flores called 455 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,639 Speaker 6: to tell us my mom had called to try and 456 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 6: get the flower arrangements changed behind her back. Come on, 457 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 6: I called her and she tried to lie until she 458 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 6: realized she was backed into a corner and admitted to 459 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 6: doing it because she knew what was best and was 460 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 6: trying to help. Needless to say, I've now uninvited her 461 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 6: from the wedding with the full support of my fiance 462 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,880 Speaker 6: and my soon to be mother in law and father 463 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 6: in law, and that's it. 464 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, if she's not gonna listen. 465 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:11,159 Speaker 6: She's gonna just you know, cause like disruption and un 466 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 6: needed stress, like, then yeah, just get rid of her. 467 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 6: I guess I feel bad because, like, obviously she wants 468 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 6: to be a part of it, but she ultimately ended 469 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 6: up like pushing so hard that she got left. So 470 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 6: I don't know, you kind of did it to yourself, mom, 471 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 6: But also I'm not really sure, you know, like you 472 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 6: could have just settled down. 473 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 8: There probably was a way to go about this that 474 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 8: would have made everyone happy. But at the end of 475 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 8: the day, it's not your responsibility to deliberately craft the 476 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 8: perfect set of words and circumstances to allow your mother 477 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,640 Speaker 8: to help you plan your wedding in a positive way. 478 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 8: If she can't just hear the words we don't want that, 479 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 8: then there's nothing she can do. Yeah, she just wanted 480 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,239 Speaker 8: to plan the wedding. She wanted for you, which is 481 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 8: not how weddings they work. 482 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story. 483 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 3: We're gonna go on to the next one. 484 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 2: My aunt loves to gossip about our family, so we 485 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 2: gave her nothing to talk about. 486 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 5: I'm zipping my lips to the end of dinner. 487 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 2: For a bit of background, my parents are a bit 488 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 2: older than most parents are when having a child. I 489 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 2: was adopted at the age of five weeks and at 490 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 2: the time, my dad was forty two and my mom 491 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 2: was thirty seven. This is important to note because my 492 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 2: dad is the youngest child in his family and his 493 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 2: youngest sister. He was the only boy out of four kids, 494 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 2: was sixteen when he was born. So that being said, 495 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,439 Speaker 2: my aunts are all very old now and they aren't 496 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 2: the friendly old lady types. 497 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 5: Sadly. By the way, this comes from a Blackfire. 498 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 2: Phoenix And if you want to submit your own stories, 499 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,920 Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay story time subreddit. 500 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 5: I'm Angie, I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and we're here to 501 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 5: give good advice Googly. But we don't have all the answers. 502 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 5: We just know what we would do in these situations. 503 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 5: So let us know what you do. 504 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:07,440 Speaker 2: In the comments, Opie says they've always been greedy, nosy, 505 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 2: and loved to gossip and spread rumors about the in 506 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 2: laws of the family. My mom has gone through a 507 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 2: lot of torture because of them, which is the case 508 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,480 Speaker 2: with the story, and now so have my husband and I. 509 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 2: Two of the three have gotten nicer over the past 510 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,159 Speaker 2: couple of years, but the middle sister, who is in 511 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 2: her eighties now, I believe, has always been the worst 512 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,119 Speaker 2: and continues to be to this day. This story is 513 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 2: about her. I'll call her Rosie, though I honestly don't 514 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 2: care that much if she were to find out that 515 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 2: I wrote this so well still, I'd rather not risk 516 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 2: that for my dad's sake, because he'd never heard the 517 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,200 Speaker 2: end of it. I have many other stories about my 518 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 2: three aunts, but this one came to mind recently. Aunt 519 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 2: Rosie has lived right next door to my parents all 520 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 2: of my life, and to convey how nosy and how 521 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,440 Speaker 2: much of a witch she is, I'll give a few 522 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,280 Speaker 2: examples of the outrageous things she's done in the past 523 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 2: before I start the story of one of my many petty. 524 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 5: Revenges against her. 525 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Rose, she has on multiple occasions crept up 526 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 2: to our kitchen window to peek in. 527 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 5: What she's peeping through your window? What so? 528 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 2: Anyway, since that window is higher up due to the 529 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,440 Speaker 2: sink below it, she has always gone to that one, 530 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 2: since it'd be harder for anyone to notice her appearing 531 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: in from below unless they were using the sink. More 532 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 2: times than I could count, she's scared the heck out 533 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 2: of me while I was washing dishes. 534 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,120 Speaker 5: Oh my god, I can't believe it. 535 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 2: She's too old to do this now, but she would 536 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,959 Speaker 2: creep up and then I'd usually catch her a movement 537 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 2: in my peripheral. I've broken a few dishes due to 538 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 2: her window jump scares. 539 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 5: Oh my god, I know letter would pay you back 540 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:39,680 Speaker 5: for those. 541 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 2: Still, she topped that level of privacy invasion several times, unbelievably. 542 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,960 Speaker 2: During a hurricane one year, she was so intent about 543 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 2: seeing how badly my mom's flowers were damaged. 544 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 5: She loves to rub that kind. 545 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,680 Speaker 2: Of thing in my mom's face just to get her upset, 546 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:59,199 Speaker 2: that she walked to our house and stood outside in 547 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 2: the downpour and high winds just to see how damaged 548 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,280 Speaker 2: the flowers were. 549 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 5: How damaged was she. 550 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 2: After being in that weather? If I hadn't noticed her, 551 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 2: and my dad hadn't got out to make her come inside, 552 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,679 Speaker 2: she would have been crushed by a pecan tree not 553 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,199 Speaker 2: five minutes after she came in. It fell across the 554 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 2: spot that she had been standing and onto her roof. 555 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 5: Crazy right. 556 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 2: Well, Instead of being shaken up by the fact that 557 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 2: her life came so close to being taken by the tree, 558 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 2: she was just amused and rubbed in the fact that 559 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 2: our sunroom roof was effed up, as well as bringing 560 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 2: up my mom's ruined flowers. 561 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 5: Great thinks thinks your nice? Oh my god. 562 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,680 Speaker 2: There are so many stories like that, but this should 563 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 2: be enough to convey what kind of person she is. 564 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 5: Anyway, onto the story. Rosie is obsessive. 565 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: About cleanliness as well, and our house was usually a 566 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 2: bit messy when growing up. My dad worked long shifts, 567 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,920 Speaker 2: my mom had been diagnosed with MS and battled care 568 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,679 Speaker 2: for three years on top of that, and though I 569 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 2: did chores, I could only do so much more whilst 570 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 2: going to school. Of course, Rosie would take any chance 571 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 2: that she could to come in and point out any mess, 572 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 2: sometimes just letting herself in when she thought that no 573 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 2: one was home so she could later rub it in. 574 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 2: She often insisted on helping out just so that she 575 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 2: could go gossip to my dad's other sisters about how 576 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 2: quote worthless my mom was, or talk about how lazy 577 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 2: of a daughter I was, unlike the other nieces and 578 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 2: nephews in the family. 579 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 5: She loves to. 580 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 2: Speak poorly of me because I was adopted and now 581 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,719 Speaker 2: because I'm the black sheep of the family. 582 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 5: I'm a wickan and a nerd. 583 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 2: Who doesn't conform to the preppy, snobbish behavior that the 584 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,920 Speaker 2: rest of my cousins have. So one day she came 585 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,280 Speaker 2: over and actually rang the doorbell instead of just waltz 586 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 2: it in, and I answered the back door. At the time, 587 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,719 Speaker 2: I was probably thirteen or fourteen years old. She had 588 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 2: brought us some home cooked food, as she did quite 589 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 2: a bit. That seems like a sweet gesture, but in reality, 590 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 2: she'd usually do it she could brag about what a 591 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 2: good Christian she was and how she helped such a 592 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 2: poor family whoa oh, my good, a poor family. My 593 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 2: dad has always tried to stand in good terms with her, though, 594 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,640 Speaker 2: so I had been instructed to accept the food at 595 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 2: the door while my mom napped and my dad was 596 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 2: at work. It's important to note that my mom had 597 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,959 Speaker 2: just been diagnosed with EMMAS a month or so before 598 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 2: this incident. See I made a bit of awkward small 599 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 2: talk with Rosie and then was saying goodbye when she 600 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 2: caught the door and stuck her head into our back porch. 601 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 2: Just to clarify, it's a closed porch. I was already 602 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 2: angry with her that day, as it had come around 603 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 2: to us earlier in the week that she had been 604 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,600 Speaker 2: telling people that my dad should just leave my mom 605 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,439 Speaker 2: because of her decline in health. 606 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,159 Speaker 5: But I brought the poor yeah, poor family food. So 607 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 5: I'm a good Christian. But also, you should divorce your 608 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 5: wife because she's sick. That's insane. 609 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 2: So I felt my blood boil as I watched her 610 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 2: silently survey the entire room with a look of disgust. 611 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,560 Speaker 5: She didn't speak for around a minute, just stood there, 612 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 5: steering everything. 613 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 2: Finally, she pulled her head back and looked at me 614 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 2: in the most condescending and disgustingly sweet voice she could muster. 615 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 2: She said, oh, Pete, how about you clean this porch today? Now, 616 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 2: I admit, the back porch was always the messiest room 617 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,359 Speaker 2: in the house. The far side of the room was 618 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 2: cluttered with boxes that we didn't have proper storage space for. 619 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 2: We would temporarily put trash bags by the door, and 620 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 2: there was always quite a bit of dirt that constantly 621 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 2: tracked in from the garden several times a day. This 622 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 2: particular day, we hadn't cleaned up the porch for about 623 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 2: a couple of weeks, so it was worse than usual. 624 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 2: Even still, I did not want her sticking her nose 625 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,120 Speaker 2: in our business and bossing me around in my own home, 626 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 2: especially since I was helping take care of. 627 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,919 Speaker 5: My mom too. I had a lot on my plate. 628 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 2: It was on a Saturday, and I just wanted to relax, 629 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 2: and cleaning would have been the furthest thing from relaxation. 630 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,159 Speaker 2: I was stressed out, and I wanted a day to 631 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 2: just be a kid. I tried to smile and said, Oh, 632 00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 2: don't worry at Rosie, I'll clean this up tomorrow. 633 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 5: So this was a lie. 634 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 2: I had already planned to clean the porch the next day, 635 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 2: but I desperately wanted some time to myself to unwind 636 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:07,560 Speaker 2: before tackling the mess. 637 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 5: Of course, she refused to listen to me. Oh, but 638 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,960 Speaker 5: wouldn't your dad feel so nice coming home? 639 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 2: Tonight and seeing how clean it can be having to 640 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 2: help your mom. 641 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 5: It takes quite a toll on him with the amount 642 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 5: of work he already does. It's not easy on him 643 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,479 Speaker 5: having a crippled wife. 644 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 2: Oh, it is your responsibility now to do most of 645 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,000 Speaker 2: the cleaning, right. She tempted to sound solemn as she 646 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 2: spoke like that about my mother too. Now she had 647 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 2: pissed me off more. She knew how sensitive of a 648 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 2: subject my mom's condition was, and she knew how badly 649 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 2: I wished to make my dad happier with everything he 650 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 2: had been taking on, and knowing that she had been 651 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 2: telling everyone that my dad was suffering having to deal 652 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 2: with my mom and that he should leave her, it 653 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 2: was difficult to hold my temper and force myself to 654 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:56,000 Speaker 2: be polite. I somehow managed to calmly say no, it's 655 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 2: not easy on any of us, as you so well know. 656 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 2: With the way I said this, I. 657 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 5: Made it clear to her that I knew what she. 658 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 2: Had been saying behind our backs. You're very right, it 659 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,400 Speaker 2: is my responsibility. I'll clean this up today. That her 660 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 2: expression briefly changed at my implication that I knew of 661 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 2: her nasty gossip, But she continued on as if I 662 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: hadn't called her out. She sticks her head in again 663 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 2: and tuts at the mess. Oh no, this would take 664 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 2: you several hours to properly clean on your own. 665 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 5: How about I help later today? It be no trouble. 666 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 5: This just must be cleaned up today. Now. 667 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 2: I could barely endure a five minute conversation with the woman, 668 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 2: much less a couple of hours. Again, I told her 669 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 2: that I'd handle it myself, but it was obvious that 670 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 2: she wasn't going to back off, as she kept going 671 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 2: on about everything that needed to be done, So I 672 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 2: finally agreed, though I had already decided that she. 673 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 5: Wasn't going to win this. 674 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 2: She'd only go talk crap to the rest of the 675 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 2: family if I actually had her help, and I knew 676 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 2: that I would definitely snap if I had to be 677 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 2: around her and hear her passive aggressive comments about my 678 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 2: mom for that long. She gave me a large, satisfied 679 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 2: grin and told me that she'd be back in three 680 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 2: hours to help me. She was so troubled by the 681 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 2: mess in my house and wanted to make it spotless asap. 682 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 5: I'd happily do it right away without her, After all, 683 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 5: she said it was my responsibility. 684 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 2: This is so bizarre, I know, but I knew that 685 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,280 Speaker 2: if she were to come back to find that I 686 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 2: had already cleaned the porch without her now, she'd be furious. 687 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 2: She wouldn't get to rub anything in, she'd be unable 688 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 2: to hold it over our heads, and in her eyes, 689 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 2: she'd have already lost her own petty game. I would 690 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 2: be getting her back in a weird way for the 691 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 2: things that she had said about my parents. She was 692 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 2: not going to f with us over an untidy old porch. 693 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 2: Before her instance to help me, she had only said 694 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,120 Speaker 2: that I should tidy up, so I chose to comply 695 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 2: with her original demand. As I type this out, I'm 696 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 2: realizing more and more how ridiculous this was. 697 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 5: But she's crazy as. 698 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 2: Heck, and this is really something that she would be 699 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 2: pissed about. So as soon as the hag started her 700 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 2: walk back home, I jumped into action, letting my anger 701 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 2: fuel me. My mom stopped me for a moment as 702 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 2: I passed by her, lying on the couch. She asked 703 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 2: me what was going on, and I explained the situation 704 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 2: to her. She was pissed that Rosie was yet again 705 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,360 Speaker 2: sticking her nose where it didn't belong. 706 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:22,560 Speaker 5: Literally, she's like peeking in literally to the room. 707 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 2: My mom had been so upset by Aunt Rosie's gossip, 708 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 2: and I knew she did not want to see her, 709 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 2: but I asked her if she could possibly enter. 710 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 5: The door when Rosie came back. 711 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 2: My mom hesitated, but finally nodded, saying she would like 712 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 2: to see the look on the old witch's face. So 713 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 2: for the next two hours, I cleaned as fast as 714 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 2: I possibly could, making sure not to leave a spot 715 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 2: of dust or dirt. I was already worn out that 716 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 2: day from helping my mom out so much after school 717 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 2: each day. I was straining myself from running around so 718 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,719 Speaker 2: much when I finally finished, but I didn't care. I 719 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 2: had been scared that Rosie would show up before I 720 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,760 Speaker 2: was done, so I was just smug that I had 721 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 2: beat her. 722 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 5: Now I just had to wait. 723 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 6: Uh pause, I isn't didn't you just do exactly what 724 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,360 Speaker 6: she wanted? That's what I'm kind of thinking too. I'm like, 725 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 6: what is this revenge blot of doing? Ooh, I'm gonna 726 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,480 Speaker 6: do exactly what she says. Yeah, she's gonna be like, oh, 727 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 6: what how dare you? 728 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 2: I mean, Opie did say that, like now that she's 729 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 2: agreed to help, then uh, she would be like pretty 730 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 2: mad if she came back and there was like nothing 731 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 2: left to clean. 732 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,880 Speaker 5: So maybe we just gotta trust Ope on this one. 733 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 2: Right on time, Rosie rings the doorbell about an hour later. 734 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 2: There's a little set of windows looking out onto the 735 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,480 Speaker 2: porch from the kitchen, so I quickly hid behind them 736 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 2: so I could discreetly peek out at her at an 737 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 2: angle where. 738 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 5: She wouldn't be able to see me. 739 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,320 Speaker 2: My mom took a deep breath to calm her nerves, 740 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 2: grabbed her cane, and went to answer the door. I 741 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 2: had told her what to say ahead of time if 742 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 2: she was asked where I was. The conversation went something 743 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 2: like this, Mom, Hello, Rosie, what brings you back by today? 744 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 2: Rosie is silent for a long while, and I take 745 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 2: a peace to see her leaning forward into the porch. 746 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,520 Speaker 5: Her mouth is a. 747 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 2: Gape, and she's looking at the entire room over with angry, 748 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 2: wide eyes. She has a very distinct tone to her 749 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 2: voice when she's pissed, and she couldn't hide it. When 750 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,120 Speaker 2: she finally responded, I ducked back down and just listened. 751 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 2: Rosie well, Oh, p and I were supposed to clean 752 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 2: this porch up together today. Mom, in a very innocent voice, 753 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,400 Speaker 2: Oh well, she seems to have already done it, Rosie. 754 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 5: I can see that I offered my help, but I 755 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 5: guess my help isn't wanted. Mom. I'm sorry you feel 756 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 5: that way. 757 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 2: I think she wanted to just get it done quickly, 758 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 2: since it's Saturday and she has plans later. 759 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 5: I had no such plans, I. 760 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,280 Speaker 2: Will, and you did tell her that she should do 761 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 2: it today, right, It was her responsibility, right, Rosie stuttusmit, Well, yes, 762 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,320 Speaker 2: but then I told her i'd be back over to 763 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 2: help out. She said nothing to me about having plans. 764 00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 2: I walked all the way back up over here to help. 765 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Rosie, but she did say that she could 766 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 2: do it on her own, didn't she? Yes, But I 767 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,480 Speaker 2: thought y'all would appreciate my help. I thought she would 768 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,480 Speaker 2: appreciate my help. Where she at now, huh, I'd like 769 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,520 Speaker 2: to speak to her. She's taking a shower right now. 770 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 2: She was going to help me clean this up tomorrow anyway, 771 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 2: but since you insisted she do it today, I guess 772 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 2: she just did as you told her. So she's old 773 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,319 Speaker 2: enough now to do this on her own anyway. But 774 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,359 Speaker 2: we do all appreciate everything that you do for us. 775 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 5: Rosie. 776 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 2: Well, yes, but I oh, thank you, by the way 777 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 2: for the food earlier. 778 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 5: Oh yes, you're we're welcome. In an overly exhausted voice 779 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:38,760 Speaker 5: cuts off Rosie. 780 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,879 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, but I need to go sit down 781 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 2: because I'm crippled, as you know. 782 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 5: But thank you for your offer. We appreciate the thoughtfulness. 783 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:49,719 Speaker 5: Have a good day, Rosie. 784 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 2: Rosie began to say something, but then quickly realized that 785 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 2: my mom was closing the door on her, so she 786 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:59,279 Speaker 2: muttered a strange you too, and the door closed in 787 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:03,279 Speaker 2: her face. Let's freaking go. Yeah, we got her. 788 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 5: We you got her with her own idea. 789 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 6: Yeah, I know, Like that's so, I guess to me, 790 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 6: we did just need to trust Ope, I. 791 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,719 Speaker 5: Guess so we knew what would grind her gears, Yeah, 792 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,359 Speaker 5: jostle her droleans. Yeah. Anyway, there is a little bit 793 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,640 Speaker 5: more to this story. My mom came back in and 794 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 5: we quietly stood. 795 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 2: There until we could see Rosie stomping home in a huff, 796 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,800 Speaker 2: and then we looked at each other and burst out laughing. 797 00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:31,879 Speaker 2: I know this is a very strange revenge, but with 798 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,360 Speaker 2: someone like Rosie it really ruffled her feathers. 799 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 5: Oh well. 800 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,880 Speaker 2: She told my dad later that she was disappointed in me, 801 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 2: which only made me laugh more. She didn't come back 802 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,760 Speaker 2: over for about a month, which was an even bigger 803 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 2: bonus for us. It felt so good to stand up 804 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 2: to her like that, even though it wasn't direct, and 805 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 2: it cheered my mom up to Ah. 806 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 5: How lovely good. That is so funny. It's like that 807 00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 5: really did seem like such a weird way to get revenge. 808 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 5: But yeah, I ope, he recognized that. 809 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,839 Speaker 2: And reminded us how yeah, how much she knows her 810 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:06,319 Speaker 2: own aunt? 811 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 6: Yeah, no, she does know her aunt really weird. Yeah 812 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 6: that balthered her but all right, but I guess the 813 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,240 Speaker 6: aunt is just weird anyway. 814 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, she's just weird. So and that's the end of 815 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:19,799 Speaker 5: the story. We're going to go on to the next one. 816 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,080 Speaker 7: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here, and we're 817 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,799 Speaker 7: going to get back to the stories. But here's three 818 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,960 Speaker 7: minutes of ads from our sponsors. 819 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,680 Speaker 9: My sister took over my birthday plans, so I hung up. 820 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,360 Speaker 5: It's my birthday now? I think it was the birthday 821 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:41,280 Speaker 5: before to come. It's my birthday plans. 822 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:48,360 Speaker 9: No. I twenty nine female have a complicated family dynamic. 823 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,280 Speaker 9: My middle sister, Rebecca thirty female, and my mom seventy 824 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 9: six female are very close and Rebecca has always been 825 00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:00,480 Speaker 9: what I call the golden child. My older sister, Vanessa 826 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 9: thirty one female, and I, on the other hand, are 827 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,680 Speaker 9: very close, but she doesn't have a good relationship with 828 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,319 Speaker 9: my mom and Rebecca. By the way, this comes from 829 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,600 Speaker 9: La Negra Buena. And if you want to submit your 830 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,920 Speaker 9: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate. 831 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 9: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, and I'm Savannah and we're here 832 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,879 Speaker 9: to give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have all 833 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 9: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let 834 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 9: us know what you would do in the comments. 835 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,480 Speaker 5: And Obie says, my. 836 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 9: Birthday is coming up, pisces gang and I made plans 837 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 9: with my mom and dad seventy eight seventy eight male 838 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 9: and a husband in twenty seven male to go to 839 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,240 Speaker 9: brunch to celebrate. Your parents are on the older side, 840 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,800 Speaker 9: just a seventy eight. 841 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,960 Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, just. 842 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:46,360 Speaker 9: Noticing my dad's birthday is two days before mine, and 843 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,480 Speaker 9: he genuinely doesn't care about celebrating his his own words, 844 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,120 Speaker 9: so I suggested we celebrate together as we always had 845 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 9: in the past. My dad also has dementia. Sorry, no, 846 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,120 Speaker 9: I'm just thinking you were really sad. He's like, I 847 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 9: don't care about my birthday. I don't even know what 848 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:04,040 Speaker 9: it is. 849 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 5: We don't need to celebrate. I didn't even know what's happening. 850 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,280 Speaker 5: Oh sorry. 851 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 9: What started the drama, I guess was that I had 852 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 9: mentioned I wanted to invite Vanitha and her family. My 853 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 9: mom just made a face but didn't say much. I thought, 854 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:24,640 Speaker 9: that's that everything's planned, and I continued normal day today activities. 855 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,920 Speaker 9: The next day, my middle sister, Rebecca called me and 856 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,920 Speaker 9: my mom on a three way call. She told me, 857 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 9: not asked me, that instead of brunch, we were going 858 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,360 Speaker 9: to cook at home because they Rebecca and her girlfriend 859 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 9: didn't want to pay for two weekends of brunch in 860 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,879 Speaker 9: a row. I said, but it's my birthday. She said, 861 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,759 Speaker 9: don't interrupt me. Yikes, but I let her continue. She 862 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,760 Speaker 9: then said, since herner my mom aren't on good terms 863 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 9: with Vanessa, it would be a problem if she came. 864 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,759 Speaker 9: I said, I hadn't even officially invited her yet, it 865 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 9: was just a suggestion. 866 00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,479 Speaker 5: She told me to stop cutting her off. 867 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 9: Okay, I didn't like the way she was speaking to me, 868 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:06,799 Speaker 9: so I hung up on her. 869 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:12,080 Speaker 5: That's it. I just hung up. Wow, Click, you're so cool. Yeah, 870 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 5: Oh my god. Oh, he said, I don't like the 871 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:18,040 Speaker 5: way you're speaking to me. Click, just did it. That's 872 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 5: how I did. And oh my god, what did I do? 873 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 5: What have I done? 874 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 9: What followed was chaos. She sent me a flood of 875 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,280 Speaker 9: messages telling me not to contact her ever again. 876 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,719 Speaker 5: Oh my god. This woman is intense. All I said 877 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 5: was cool. 878 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 9: Then she started sending messages saying that I need to 879 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 9: fix myself and that I have issues. 880 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,960 Speaker 5: The universe is punishing me because I'm not working. 881 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 9: On myself, that there's a reason that she and I 882 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,959 Speaker 9: don't hang out, and that this is why people don't 883 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,160 Speaker 9: mess with me like that's a good thing. 884 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,280 Speaker 5: I've had to cut friends out of my life because 885 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:48,040 Speaker 5: they were toxic. 886 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 9: She also said it's not all about me, since it's 887 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,680 Speaker 9: my dad's birthday too, even though my dad himself had 888 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 9: already told us he doesn't care about celebrating his birthday 889 00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,319 Speaker 9: and It's just another day to him. 890 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:04,880 Speaker 5: I have so many sad jokes to make I won't 891 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:05,279 Speaker 5: make them. 892 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,319 Speaker 9: Remember I was the one who wanted to include him 893 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 9: in the first place. She then started bringing up things 894 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,239 Speaker 9: that I only told my mom during a difficult and 895 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,279 Speaker 9: vulnerable time in my marriage. I had gone to her 896 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:21,319 Speaker 9: for wisdom, advice, and comfort, as she is my mom. 897 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:23,800 Speaker 5: Big mistake. 898 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 9: I started to block her Rebecca on every platform after 899 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:31,120 Speaker 9: she set me at this point aggressive messages, even though 900 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 9: I never responded to her once after my initial quilt. 901 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,920 Speaker 9: She then continued to anyway with even more vile messages. 902 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,520 Speaker 9: She sent multiple audio messages saying the same things. She 903 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,120 Speaker 9: went after Vanessa too and said that she corrupted me. 904 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 5: This lady sounds pretty crazy. Lady shows whack. Yeah, I 905 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,640 Speaker 5: don't like her. Those are my thoughts. I don't like it. 906 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,200 Speaker 9: Yeah, I feel like we just you know, she says, 907 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 9: don't ever talk to me again. 908 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 5: What am I gonna do this weekend? I'm not listening 909 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,200 Speaker 5: to you? Had me right? 910 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,560 Speaker 2: If I If I'm not gonna just spend my time 911 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,080 Speaker 2: being hung up by you? 912 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:16,360 Speaker 5: Oh me, I'm so bummed. Whatever shall I do me? 913 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:17,880 Speaker 5: If I if I were lying? 914 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:22,040 Speaker 9: Yeah, exactly, but says my mom was on that three 915 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:26,480 Speaker 9: way call and said absolutely nothing. So Mom is spreading 916 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 9: all this information that OP told her in private, and 917 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,920 Speaker 9: also is just like, yeah. 918 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 5: Just like, I don't know. I didn't say anything. I'm 919 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,360 Speaker 5: just the messager. Why you didn't hear it from me? 920 00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:44,040 Speaker 9: Did? I? 921 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 5: Exactly? Ill her? 922 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:51,320 Speaker 9: Six times afterward, she ignored every call I was sending 923 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 9: her screenshots of everything my sister was saying, and my 924 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 9: mom just left me on red multiple times. Two days later, 925 00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,920 Speaker 9: she texted me asking me to fix her. 926 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,000 Speaker 5: Tes like nothing happened. 927 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:07,240 Speaker 9: All of the previous texts in that text conversation are like, Mom, 928 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,720 Speaker 9: pick up, we need to talk about this. This is serious. 929 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,880 Speaker 9: I can't believe you would do this. It's just like 930 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 9: a bunch of those texts, and then it's. 931 00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:18,960 Speaker 5: Can you fix my TV? Yeah exactly. It's like just 932 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,840 Speaker 5: like scroll up a little bit and see what you've done. 933 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,680 Speaker 9: For context, I am currently twenty days sober, congratulations, nice 934 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 9: in therapy, congrats and working actively on myself. But she 935 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,760 Speaker 9: nor my mom know that. But according to my sister, 936 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,920 Speaker 9: I'm the one who needs to fix herself. Am I 937 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 9: the AO for hanging up? 938 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:43,640 Speaker 2: You are so sweet No, No. I really love how 939 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,680 Speaker 2: she explained that part too. 940 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:46,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 941 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,800 Speaker 5: She was like, I just I hung up the phone 942 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 5: just like that. I just did it. You know, she 943 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,880 Speaker 5: was attacking me verbally and I hung up the phone. 944 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,360 Speaker 5: That's great, monster. 945 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:02,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, clearly, just the way that you're talking 946 00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:04,719 Speaker 2: about it, clearly you don't do stuff like that all 947 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:08,200 Speaker 2: the time. Oh yeah, and here I am to tell 948 00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:12,560 Speaker 2: you you're okay, come on okay by me exactly if 949 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 2: anyone tries to challenge you on. 950 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:17,439 Speaker 5: That and just be like hey, uh yeah. 951 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,279 Speaker 2: I just didn't really feel like sitting there while she 952 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,839 Speaker 2: like attacked me like that. Yeah, I'm good, So I 953 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,000 Speaker 2: just shung up. There was nothing in that conversation that 954 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,200 Speaker 2: I think I needed to be a part of. She 955 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,280 Speaker 2: did not seem like she wanted any sort of response 956 00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:31,880 Speaker 2: for me anyway, so. 957 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,440 Speaker 5: She probably kept going after yeah. 958 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, she probably didn't realize you hung up, yeah, because 959 00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,720 Speaker 2: she was just so so feel anger and insults. 960 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,200 Speaker 5: So, yeah, you're fine. I just watched the Hannah Montana 961 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,759 Speaker 5: movie for the first time. Oh the movie. Oh my god, 962 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:47,319 Speaker 5: great movie. 963 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:47,600 Speaker 9: Yeah. 964 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:48,400 Speaker 5: I watched it on the plane. 965 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,759 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, nice, dude, I haven't watched that 966 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:52,840 Speaker 2: since I was a kid. 967 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,840 Speaker 5: I will say she's a brat in it is she 968 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:57,600 Speaker 5: she's a brat. 969 00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,520 Speaker 9: Really, I remembered I watched the show growing up. I 970 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,080 Speaker 9: just never seen the movie. Yeah, and I didn't remember 971 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,240 Speaker 9: her being that much of a brat. But the whole 972 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,160 Speaker 9: plot of like the movie is that she's a brat 973 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,719 Speaker 9: and then she goes to Tennessee and like learns to 974 00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:12,440 Speaker 9: not be a brat. 975 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,520 Speaker 5: But's so she literally like doctor fills it, goes to 976 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 5: the ranch. 977 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,279 Speaker 9: Yeah, and he goes to the rag And I'm like, 978 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 9: I don't remember her being this much of a brat. 979 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,319 Speaker 2: So because we were when we were kids, were probably like, 980 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,120 Speaker 2: I mean, she's got a point. 981 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, she's got a point. And that's the end of 982 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,320 Speaker 5: the story. We're gonna go on to the next one. 983 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:34,279 Speaker 6: My wife secretly gave my food to her sister, so 984 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:35,120 Speaker 6: I took it back. 985 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,880 Speaker 5: Give me back my food. 986 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,960 Speaker 6: My wife, thirty, has a younger sister, twenty eight, with 987 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,839 Speaker 6: four kids. My sister in law is a mary stay 988 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,800 Speaker 6: at home mom, and her husband, thirty one, works thirty 989 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,520 Speaker 6: five hours per week. Money is tight for them, but 990 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 6: they still go on annual vacations. Drive newer cars, et cetera. 991 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,920 Speaker 6: My wife and I keep separate finances except for a 992 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,359 Speaker 6: joint credit card and household bill. I also do most 993 00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,520 Speaker 6: of the grocery shopping. 994 00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:01,280 Speaker 5: This is relevant for later. 995 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:06,160 Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from kptyyc. And if you 996 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 6: want to spend your own stories, go to our slash 997 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:09,360 Speaker 6: Okay storytime subredded. 998 00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,280 Speaker 5: I'm Savannah, I'm Sophia. 999 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,400 Speaker 6: And we are here to give some good advice, but 1000 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 6: in a little goofy manner. But we don't have all 1001 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,879 Speaker 6: your answers, so you should tell us what you would 1002 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,120 Speaker 6: do in the comments, and we're gonna tell you what 1003 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,279 Speaker 6: we're gonna do right now. As Opie says, a couple 1004 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,480 Speaker 6: of years ago, I found out my wife had been 1005 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,040 Speaker 6: buying groceries for my sister in law on our joint 1006 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,600 Speaker 6: card about one hundred and fifty dollars to two hundred 1007 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,400 Speaker 6: dollars per month for a few months. 1008 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:31,439 Speaker 5: She said that her. 1009 00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:33,640 Speaker 6: Sister had come to her saying they were tight on 1010 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,520 Speaker 6: money and that she needed help feeding their kids. This 1011 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,480 Speaker 6: is about a month after they had got back from 1012 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,640 Speaker 6: their most recent vacation in Mexico. I told my wife, 1013 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:45,200 Speaker 6: in no uncertain terms that I am not supporting their family. 1014 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,080 Speaker 6: She argued with me, saying that we could more than 1015 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,000 Speaker 6: afford it. I replied that I don't care if she 1016 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 6: wanted to support them, but that's her business. My wife 1017 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,279 Speaker 6: stopped buying them groceries on our joint card after but 1018 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,680 Speaker 6: I'm sure she told her sister because sister in law 1019 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,520 Speaker 6: has been stand office since In the last few months, 1020 00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:06,000 Speaker 6: grocery costs have been increasing things to inflation. At a 1021 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 6: cost saving measure, I bought a whole cow for about 1022 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:14,120 Speaker 6: four K, which works out to about nine dollars per 1023 00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,239 Speaker 6: pound and will last us more than a year, and 1024 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 6: my wife and I split the cost. Yesterday, I went 1025 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,680 Speaker 6: to the freezer to pull some steaks and saw the 1026 00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:26,560 Speaker 6: amount of beef was visibly lower. I checked our security 1027 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,840 Speaker 6: cameras and saw my wife leaving the house with a 1028 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,920 Speaker 6: big box. I texted her, demanding to know if she 1029 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,200 Speaker 6: had taken a bunch of our meat to sister in law, and. 1030 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,200 Speaker 5: She replied yes. 1031 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,520 Speaker 6: I grabbed sister in law's keys we have a copy, 1032 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,640 Speaker 6: drove to their house, knocked on our door, and when 1033 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,360 Speaker 6: sister in law answered, I told her that I was 1034 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,960 Speaker 6: taking back what my wife brought over sister in law protested, 1035 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,320 Speaker 6: saying I was taking food out of her kid's mouths, 1036 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,839 Speaker 6: but I said I don't care. Ooh, she already had 1037 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,160 Speaker 6: one roast in the oven. I went to their freezer 1038 00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,040 Speaker 6: and they had about forty to fifty pounds of ground beef, 1039 00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,320 Speaker 6: steaks and roast from our cow, including a couple prime 1040 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,480 Speaker 6: rib roasts. I grabbed it all except the roast in 1041 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 6: the oven and drove home. My wife yelled at me, 1042 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,480 Speaker 6: saying she couldn't believe how selfish I was, and that 1043 00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,719 Speaker 6: sister in law called her crying. She also said that 1044 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:14,919 Speaker 6: she paid for half of it and so she could 1045 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,560 Speaker 6: do whatever she liked with it. I yelled back, saying 1046 00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,840 Speaker 6: you don't get to decide to give away anything that 1047 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,480 Speaker 6: we pay for together, and said she acted like a 1048 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,000 Speaker 6: sneak thief for doing it behind my back. 1049 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:25,960 Speaker 5: I agree with that. 1050 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,680 Speaker 6: My wife is still angry at me and says until 1051 00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,080 Speaker 6: I apologize to her sister returned the meat that I 1052 00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,719 Speaker 6: took back and apologize for calling her a thief, she 1053 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,399 Speaker 6: won't speak to me. I may be the a hole 1054 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,319 Speaker 6: because my wife pays half the groceries. 1055 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,880 Speaker 5: There's an update. I don't know. It just feels like 1056 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,600 Speaker 5: you guys have a really unhealthy marriage. I think like 1057 00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:45,840 Speaker 5: kind of putting aside a holes. 1058 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:53,080 Speaker 9: You both sound like just it's constantly tis for tat. 1059 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,919 Speaker 9: There is no working together. There is no figuring out 1060 00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:00,600 Speaker 9: problem solving or anything. It's just I get my way 1061 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,120 Speaker 9: or you get your you know, or you're trying to 1062 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,799 Speaker 9: get your way, and that's not the way that I want. 1063 00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 9: And you know, she steals the food that you already said, like, hey, 1064 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,680 Speaker 9: we're not sharing that, and it's just not healthy. 1065 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:11,600 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1066 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,000 Speaker 6: I just don't really like there's a lot going I 1067 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,520 Speaker 6: think this goes deeper than the meat. 1068 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:17,279 Speaker 9: Yeah. 1069 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:22,479 Speaker 6: This, uh, this seems like it should have been worked out, yes, 1070 00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,480 Speaker 6: a long time ago. I think there's other issues that 1071 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,759 Speaker 6: are also buried in this, but this is just the 1072 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 6: issue that everything's coming out. 1073 00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,880 Speaker 5: Oh big tibe. Let's see there's an update. 1074 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:37,520 Speaker 6: Thanks for all the comments, suggestions, criticisms. Regardless of the vote, 1075 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:42,200 Speaker 6: consensus is my reaction and behavior was suboptimal, which I 1076 00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,879 Speaker 6: agree it was. I apologize to my wife for calling 1077 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,560 Speaker 6: her a thief, and then I would apologize to her 1078 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,760 Speaker 6: sister for going over to her house in a huff 1079 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,399 Speaker 6: and upsetting her. But said I won't apologize for taking 1080 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,279 Speaker 6: back the meat, which we paid for jointly. I laid 1081 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,560 Speaker 6: it all out and set my position on me not 1082 00:48:56,760 --> 00:49:00,279 Speaker 6: buying groceries for their family hadn't changed. I said her 1083 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,520 Speaker 6: husband only worked three days a week, twelve hour shifts, 1084 00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,839 Speaker 6: and if they're struggling for food, he needs to pick 1085 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 6: up more ships. I also said, taking vacations and having 1086 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,920 Speaker 6: new cars is a luxury they can't afford if I 1087 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,640 Speaker 6: have to do cards. Yeah, they have new cars. 1088 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,200 Speaker 5: Well, they actively can't afford food. 1089 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:21,479 Speaker 6: Yeah, they sell your car brand new cars and they 1090 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:23,400 Speaker 6: go on trips to Mexico. 1091 00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:24,279 Speaker 5: Genuinely. 1092 00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,280 Speaker 9: I don't think that you can say that your kids 1093 00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,600 Speaker 9: are starving until you don't have cars. 1094 00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:29,640 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1095 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,759 Speaker 6: I also said taking vacations and having new cars is 1096 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,239 Speaker 6: a luxury they can't afford if I have to pitch 1097 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,240 Speaker 6: in to pay for their food. As some of you suggested, 1098 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,759 Speaker 6: I asked my wife, why aren't you buying groceries with 1099 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,400 Speaker 6: your own money if you want to support them? Yeah, 1100 00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,160 Speaker 6: my wife responded she's been buying them groceries for the 1101 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,520 Speaker 6: past couple years with her own money because they're up 1102 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:51,480 Speaker 6: to their eyeballs in the loans and credit card debt, 1103 00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,600 Speaker 6: but inflation means their groceries have been costing her more 1104 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,319 Speaker 6: and more. She then admitted to putting some things on 1105 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,680 Speaker 6: our joint credit card in the last few months in 1106 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:03,880 Speaker 6: small amounts then two years ago, so I wouldn't notice. 1107 00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,440 Speaker 6: As for the beef, sister in law called her this 1108 00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:08,920 Speaker 6: past week and crying, saying they needed help to the 1109 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,360 Speaker 6: end of the month with food because one of the 1110 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,520 Speaker 6: kids broke their iPad, which they used to keep the 1111 00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:15,839 Speaker 6: kids entertained, and so. 1112 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:16,640 Speaker 5: They replaced it. 1113 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:20,240 Speaker 9: I would actually like throw a fit. Yeah, if someone 1114 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,480 Speaker 9: called me and said that, can you out I can't 1115 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,800 Speaker 9: afford to eat food because I just bought a new iPad. 1116 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:31,320 Speaker 5: I can't afford to eat No. 1117 00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:36,480 Speaker 9: No, like sell the iPad yep, no yeah, or oh oops, 1118 00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:37,160 Speaker 9: you broke your iPad. 1119 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,920 Speaker 6: Guess you don't have one now? Yeah, why aren't the 1120 00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:40,920 Speaker 6: kids more careful with it? 1121 00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:43,040 Speaker 5: Like so weird? 1122 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,879 Speaker 6: You'd be like, we can't afford to get you another one, 1123 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,600 Speaker 6: so you need to be careful with this. If you 1124 00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:48,600 Speaker 6: break it, you break. 1125 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,680 Speaker 5: It, you don't get a new one. 1126 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,400 Speaker 6: I'm a story because guess what I have to feed you? 1127 00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:56,440 Speaker 6: And that comes first, not iPad, but instead, or are 1128 00:50:56,440 --> 00:51:00,240 Speaker 6: doing it backwards, so weird. She didn't ask me about 1129 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:03,080 Speaker 6: taking the beef because she knew I would say no 1130 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,399 Speaker 6: if she told me about the iPad and didn't think 1131 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,560 Speaker 6: I would notice since we have so much beef. She said, 1132 00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,680 Speaker 6: I have no idea how hard it is to raise 1133 00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:15,120 Speaker 6: four kids, and they need the iPad. I told her 1134 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,279 Speaker 6: we need to go see a counselor because we're on 1135 00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,160 Speaker 6: different planets if she thinks an iPad is a necessity. 1136 00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 6: So yeah, we're going to do therapy. Until then, I'm 1137 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,239 Speaker 6: sleeping in the basement. There are some answers to common questions. 1138 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,520 Speaker 6: Why doesn't sister in law's husband work more or sister 1139 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,120 Speaker 6: in law get a job? He does shift. 1140 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,879 Speaker 5: Work three days a week, twelve hour shifts. He likes it. 1141 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,080 Speaker 6: Because it frees him up to spend more time with 1142 00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:41,120 Speaker 6: the kids. Sister in law has never had a job 1143 00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,040 Speaker 6: beyond serving as a teenager. Why don't you put a 1144 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,640 Speaker 6: lock on your freezer? I would like to stay married, 1145 00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:48,560 Speaker 6: and I'm certain if I did this, I wouldn't be 1146 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:52,879 Speaker 6: married for very long. I think that counseling's gonna help 1147 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:53,360 Speaker 6: you guys. 1148 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:59,560 Speaker 5: Maybe, yeah, I hope so she uh, yeah, it is bad. Yeah, 1149 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,120 Speaker 5: that is not good what she's doing. 1150 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:03,839 Speaker 6: Yeah, it seems like they had kids and didn't really 1151 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,719 Speaker 6: plan it out and now they're like struggling for money, which. 1152 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,960 Speaker 5: Like it's all their own fault. Yeah too. 1153 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:12,320 Speaker 9: None of this is like like it feels like they're yeah, 1154 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:14,120 Speaker 9: just completely I mean we've talked about this with other 1155 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,520 Speaker 9: people we know, but like completely living out of their means. 1156 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:20,040 Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, And it's like you just can't like I'm 1157 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:23,239 Speaker 6: not gonna go and buy a new car, yeah, when 1158 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:27,200 Speaker 6: I still have to like buy like I just moved, 1159 00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,200 Speaker 6: I'm not gonna go get a new car. 1160 00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:31,759 Speaker 5: Well, I still have to like, yeah, I don't know, 1161 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:33,160 Speaker 5: like buy. 1162 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:37,160 Speaker 9: Groceries, like me like buying a first class ticket somewhere 1163 00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:39,520 Speaker 9: and then being like I don't have any money to 1164 00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:43,439 Speaker 9: afford my friend Now, yeah, I just couldn't survive without 1165 00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:44,719 Speaker 9: the first class ticket, right. 1166 00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just. 1167 00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:50,400 Speaker 6: Like I I've never never done that. I've always just 1168 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,320 Speaker 6: been very mindful. 1169 00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:57,760 Speaker 9: Yeah. I think I have been raised maybe too mindful 1170 00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,360 Speaker 9: of money. I think I have a lot of like 1171 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:03,240 Speaker 9: financiallyingknxiety ever spending money because of how I was raised. 1172 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,560 Speaker 9: But I don't Yeah, I don't fully understand that, like 1173 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,640 Speaker 9: just like spend it spend it mentality. 1174 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,000 Speaker 6: Yeah, like you have it. I've never been like spend 1175 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,120 Speaker 6: spend spend like safe. 1176 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:16,840 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1177 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:21,240 Speaker 6: My dad is very generous with money, I will say 1178 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,640 Speaker 6: he had, and I'm also very generous. 1179 00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,160 Speaker 9: I think generous is different than spend it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 1180 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,040 Speaker 9: I think that is, Yeah, because I would. I mean, 1181 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,640 Speaker 9: like I try to be. Yeah, I try to, you know, 1182 00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,000 Speaker 9: like I like to buy my friends things. 1183 00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:38,520 Speaker 5: I like to you know, uh, treat them when I can. 1184 00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:42,280 Speaker 9: But I think that's different than the mentality of spend 1185 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:46,359 Speaker 9: money that you on yourself. Yeah, I agree, Yeah, because 1186 00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:49,200 Speaker 9: typically people who are spending money on their friends aren't 1187 00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:51,800 Speaker 9: exorbitantly Yeah. 1188 00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,880 Speaker 6: Hopefully not doing that unless they're just spending it to 1189 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:54,960 Speaker 6: like get something out of you. 1190 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,399 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1191 00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:59,360 Speaker 6: Did sister law and her husband pay for their vacations 1192 00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:02,520 Speaker 6: and cars them selves? I still don't know, but my 1193 00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,279 Speaker 6: guess would be credit cards and car loans. If they're 1194 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,840 Speaker 6: up to their eyeballs and dead. As my wife said, 1195 00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:11,560 Speaker 6: why don't you compromise on helping them? A fair compromise 1196 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,319 Speaker 6: to me, if I were to pitch in, would be 1197 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:17,440 Speaker 6: for them to better manage their money, example, not going 1198 00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:21,400 Speaker 6: on annual vacations to Mexico. The last time I raised that, 1199 00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,320 Speaker 6: my wife said I was being judgmental. Maybe I'll propose 1200 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,759 Speaker 6: it again. In counseling. 1201 00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:30,279 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, you need heavy counseling. 1202 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,920 Speaker 6: Yeah, and I think also the sister law needs counseling. 1203 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:43,319 Speaker 9: Everyone needs everyone, everybody, and it's counseling and. 1204 00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:45,840 Speaker 5: Counts everybody his counseling. Yeah, yeah, I did a different 1205 00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:56,520 Speaker 5: different notes. I forgot where it was. Everybody is counseling 1206 00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:03,920 Speaker 5: and can sell it. Yeah, there we go. Anyway, that's 1207 00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:04,640 Speaker 5: the that story. 1208 00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:09,799 Speaker 2: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and 1209 00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:11,600 Speaker 2: we're going to get back to the stories. 1210 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,440 Speaker 5: But he's a three minute ad break from our sponsors. 1211 00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:18,440 Speaker 9: My husband was upset with our baby's last name, and 1212 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:19,960 Speaker 9: the reason surprised me. 1213 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:20,880 Speaker 3: What is it? 1214 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:21,879 Speaker 5: Pooh poop pee pee? 1215 00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,520 Speaker 9: My twenty nine female husband twenty nine male, and I 1216 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,560 Speaker 9: are pregnant. We're happy about it, but it's all happened 1217 00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:32,359 Speaker 9: so fast, so we didn't discuss details before today. While 1218 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,840 Speaker 9: we were fantasizing about our future, I kind of wistfully 1219 00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,839 Speaker 9: said the full name of our baby, gender neutral first 1220 00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,600 Speaker 9: name we chose and my last name. He was upset 1221 00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:43,919 Speaker 9: and asked why I assume they would take my name. 1222 00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:45,680 Speaker 9: I said it was because I thought he didn't care 1223 00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,239 Speaker 9: about his last name, whereas my last name was very 1224 00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:51,280 Speaker 9: important to me. By the way, this comes from throwaway 1225 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,680 Speaker 9: account eight four seven three some four and if you 1226 00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:55,279 Speaker 9: want to sumit your own stories, go to the r 1227 00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,160 Speaker 9: slash Okay storytime severed it. I'm Sophia and. 1228 00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,880 Speaker 5: I'm Savannah, and we're here to get good advice gooofully. 1229 00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:04,520 Speaker 9: But we don't know everything, so let us know if 1230 00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:08,480 Speaker 9: you know some things in the comments, and Opie says context. 1231 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,480 Speaker 9: I never changed my last name when we got married 1232 00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:14,879 Speaker 9: because in my culture this is uncommon, and my name 1233 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,400 Speaker 9: also has very heavy cultural and historical significance. I am 1234 00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,240 Speaker 9: extremely proud of it, and I am also very close 1235 00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:25,759 Speaker 9: with my extended family. My husband has no relationship with 1236 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,200 Speaker 9: his family, as his parents left him with his uncle. 1237 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:28,520 Speaker 6: Oh. 1238 00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:32,000 Speaker 5: It was awful to him for years whoof until he 1239 00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:34,400 Speaker 5: moved in with me. When we were getting married. 1240 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:36,920 Speaker 9: He wanted to change his last name to mine because 1241 00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:40,600 Speaker 9: he feels like my family is his real family, which 1242 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,680 Speaker 9: I was okay with, but eventually we decided he doesn't 1243 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:45,720 Speaker 9: need to go through that hassle since he's. 1244 00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:46,440 Speaker 5: A part of our family. 1245 00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:50,319 Speaker 9: Regardless, he's never expressed any type of interest in his 1246 00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:55,480 Speaker 9: heritage Irish and even when I suggested we go visit Ireland. 1247 00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,919 Speaker 5: He was uninterested. But now he said people will think 1248 00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:58,480 Speaker 5: the kid is. 1249 00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,799 Speaker 9: Not his and that it's disrespectful to have kids not 1250 00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:04,840 Speaker 9: take the father's last name. I was confused because he 1251 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:08,319 Speaker 9: has never expressed any such sentiment before. I told him 1252 00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,160 Speaker 9: my last name is non negotiable, so he can hyphenate it. 1253 00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:14,440 Speaker 9: He was resistant, since both our last names are clunky 1254 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:18,080 Speaker 9: and long, but eventually he said, only if his name 1255 00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,600 Speaker 9: comes first. I got really annoyed at his implication that 1256 00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:24,720 Speaker 9: there's something wrong with taking the mom's last name. So 1257 00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,000 Speaker 9: maybe I was a little petty and said, suits me 1258 00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:29,200 Speaker 9: that way, people will think your name is just a 1259 00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:31,960 Speaker 9: middle name and mine is their last name. He told 1260 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,120 Speaker 9: me I was being an a hole and left the house. 1261 00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,800 Speaker 9: It's been a couple of hours and he's responding to 1262 00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,280 Speaker 9: my text with one word responses edit. I'm seeing some 1263 00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:43,800 Speaker 9: misunderstanding about why he never changed his last name to mine. 1264 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:46,360 Speaker 9: I thought it was a good idea, and so he 1265 00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:49,720 Speaker 9: was doing research on the process, but ended up complaining 1266 00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,920 Speaker 9: to me that the process seemed like a big hassle, 1267 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:54,800 Speaker 9: after which I told him that my family loves him 1268 00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:58,000 Speaker 9: regardless of which name he has, so he decided to 1269 00:57:58,040 --> 00:57:59,880 Speaker 9: not go through with it. Yeah, it is a hassle too, 1270 00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:03,400 Speaker 9: that women have to go through all the time. Right now, 1271 00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,720 Speaker 9: we decided to discuss this whole thing in the morning 1272 00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:08,160 Speaker 9: after we get some sleep, and I will try to 1273 00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:10,880 Speaker 9: offer some of the suggestions people made in the replies 1274 00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:14,920 Speaker 9: up date. But before we get into that, too many 1275 00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:15,960 Speaker 9: other thoughts. 1276 00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:20,440 Speaker 5: I mean, let's see, what can I say? Am I thinking? 1277 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:24,200 Speaker 5: What am I thinking? Who am I? Get it together? 1278 00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,680 Speaker 5: Get it together? I don't think it really matters. 1279 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,360 Speaker 6: I guess, like cause he the thing is, he didn't 1280 00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:32,960 Speaker 6: have a problem with it, and he actually was going 1281 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,360 Speaker 6: to change it, and but then he's like, eh, that's 1282 00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:37,240 Speaker 6: a lot of work. And so now she's just like, oh, well, like, 1283 00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,760 Speaker 6: since you didn't care before, I'm just gonna like, you know, 1284 00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:42,200 Speaker 6: you know that there is significance to my name. 1285 00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,560 Speaker 5: So and then he all of a sudden, he's like, 1286 00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:49,240 Speaker 5: huh what No, so kind of wanted that one. Yeah, 1287 00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:50,040 Speaker 5: I agree. 1288 00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,840 Speaker 9: I feel like there's gotta be some sort of mature 1289 00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,720 Speaker 9: compromise here that neither of you were taking or. 1290 00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:59,000 Speaker 5: We had a iphonated one. 1291 00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,760 Speaker 9: And then you were like, well, they'll think that it's 1292 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,760 Speaker 9: a middle name, and he was like, well, I want. 1293 00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,680 Speaker 5: The first name. It just feels very Yeah, that's kind 1294 00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 5: of petty. It's like, who cares which one? 1295 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:12,440 Speaker 6: Like at least I'm thinking I'm considering hyphenating it, Like 1296 00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:14,840 Speaker 6: you should be happy that I'm even considering. 1297 00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:16,040 Speaker 5: Hello everyone. 1298 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,640 Speaker 9: Some of the responses from the original post gave me 1299 00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:21,160 Speaker 9: ideas for how to approach the issue with my husband, 1300 00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:23,800 Speaker 9: so I wanted to give an update. After my husband 1301 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,040 Speaker 9: came home, we decided to talk in the morning as 1302 00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:29,000 Speaker 9: he was tired and still a little upset. Next morning, 1303 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,280 Speaker 9: he was really trying to push the topic aside and 1304 00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,480 Speaker 9: said he didn't care what name we chose anymore. He 1305 00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,280 Speaker 9: just didn't want to keep talking about it. I didn't 1306 00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:39,320 Speaker 9: think that was a good idea, but I was worried 1307 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,440 Speaker 9: he'd get angry if I just pushed it, so I 1308 00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,360 Speaker 9: asked him if we could just cuddle for a while. 1309 00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,400 Speaker 9: I brought it up again by apologizing for my comment 1310 00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:50,240 Speaker 9: that I made about the hyphenated name, and he said 1311 00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,120 Speaker 9: he didn't want to hyphenate our names anyway. We talked 1312 00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,240 Speaker 9: for a while about a lot like my family, culture, 1313 00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,200 Speaker 9: his family, et cetera. But basically he felt like the 1314 00:59:59,240 --> 00:59:59,840 Speaker 9: odd one out. 1315 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:03,560 Speaker 5: Then let's change your last name to mind dude, let's 1316 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,920 Speaker 5: start that process. I'll help you. Yeah. 1317 01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:09,960 Speaker 9: I reminded him again about how much my family, especially 1318 01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,520 Speaker 9: my parents and brother, love him and treat him like 1319 01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:15,320 Speaker 9: a son and brother. They really do treat him like 1320 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,480 Speaker 9: the baby of the family, because that's how they always 1321 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,560 Speaker 9: treated me as the youngest. My extended family loves him 1322 01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:22,840 Speaker 9: as well, he said he feel like He said he 1323 01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:25,360 Speaker 9: felt like he was still stuck with his crappy family 1324 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,360 Speaker 9: even though he hasn't talked to any of them in years, 1325 01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:30,440 Speaker 9: and if our baby has his name, it would be 1326 01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:32,760 Speaker 9: like he was connected with the baby through that name and. 1327 01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:33,360 Speaker 5: Not his family. 1328 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:36,400 Speaker 9: I was dreading asking him this, but based on comments 1329 01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,560 Speaker 9: in my other post, it made too much sense not 1330 01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,240 Speaker 9: to at least ask, so I asked him if he 1331 01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,800 Speaker 9: thinks he would like taking my last name so he 1332 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,040 Speaker 9: didn't have to share his last name with them anymore. 1333 01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:49,520 Speaker 9: He said that he was too embarrassed to suggest this 1334 01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:52,080 Speaker 9: again to my family because he felt like it would 1335 01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:54,600 Speaker 9: look bad that he kept changing his mind on the topic, 1336 01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,480 Speaker 9: like he didn't respect the decision or my family's name. 1337 01:00:57,800 --> 01:00:58,520 Speaker 5: I feel I. 1338 01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,240 Speaker 6: Kind of feel bad for him because I can see 1339 01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,760 Speaker 6: where he's coming from with the like, well, I didn't 1340 01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,560 Speaker 6: want to bring it up again and be like, oh, 1341 01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:07,800 Speaker 6: I you know, like it's not that big of a dealer, 1342 01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:12,840 Speaker 6: like disrespect you know, your family. I think he just 1343 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,240 Speaker 6: is kind of like internally struggling with it and just 1344 01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:16,520 Speaker 6: like has hoisted. 1345 01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,520 Speaker 9: I'm glad we got to the real thing of it, though, yes, 1346 01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:21,680 Speaker 9: because that was was one of the other things I 1347 01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,120 Speaker 9: suggested you could do. And it feels like he was 1348 01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:25,480 Speaker 9: just waiting for someone else to bring it. 1349 01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:26,120 Speaker 5: Up because he didn't. 1350 01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,440 Speaker 6: I also kind of like how they went about it, 1351 01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:29,920 Speaker 6: like she's just like we don't have to talk about it. 1352 01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:31,880 Speaker 6: Can we just cut a little bit and then just 1353 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:35,320 Speaker 6: like bringing up like it was true. I always tried 1354 01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:38,800 Speaker 6: to do that, like whenever I was mad, yeah, or 1355 01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:40,320 Speaker 6: like I knew, like we were men at each other. 1356 01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:41,080 Speaker 5: All I wanted to do. 1357 01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:43,000 Speaker 6: I was like, I just want to like hug first, 1358 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,320 Speaker 6: hugg and kiss first, and then let's get down to 1359 01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:49,120 Speaker 6: the issue. Yeah, like just know that I do love 1360 01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:50,920 Speaker 6: you in the beginning, and I'm probably gonna love you 1361 01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:55,520 Speaker 6: in the end, but I'm just you know, but you 1362 01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:56,960 Speaker 6: know this is the end of all. 1363 01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:58,320 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1364 01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:01,280 Speaker 9: I think sometimes like when I'm like or upset, like 1365 01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,320 Speaker 9: I'll kind of go a little bit silent or like contemplative. 1366 01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,920 Speaker 5: My boyfriend like, are you upset ry? Man? I'm like, 1367 01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,880 Speaker 5: I am a little bit like, you know, I'll voice 1368 01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:11,960 Speaker 5: the feeling and I'm like, I just need a minute. 1369 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,600 Speaker 5: I don't want to verbalize that on you, so just 1370 01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:15,560 Speaker 5: give me a minute. 1371 01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:19,680 Speaker 6: Which is very very smart and mature things, so you 1372 01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:23,040 Speaker 6: don't project things onto your loved ones. 1373 01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:24,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, everyone can take a minute. 1374 01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,640 Speaker 9: I convinced him that they wouldn't feel that way, and 1375 01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:29,600 Speaker 9: then I would help him with every step of the 1376 01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:32,720 Speaker 9: name changing process if he wants that. We ran it 1377 01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:34,760 Speaker 9: by my parents to prove to him that they were 1378 01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:38,040 Speaker 9: okay with it, and they were super supportive. He seems 1379 01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:41,160 Speaker 9: really happy about this decision and even excited while we 1380 01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:43,200 Speaker 9: were gathering all the info to make sure it's a 1381 01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,720 Speaker 9: smooth transition. I'm also planning to have some more detailed 1382 01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,800 Speaker 9: discussions with him about other things. We never really discussed 1383 01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:54,520 Speaker 9: specifics of so we don't catch each other by surprise again. Ah, 1384 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:58,080 Speaker 9: thank you again everyone for the perspectives and for the suggestions. 1385 01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:01,320 Speaker 5: And that's the end of the story. So it turned 1386 01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,120 Speaker 5: out good. Yeah, I love when that happens. 1387 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,440 Speaker 9: When we're mature, we take a minute and we realize 1388 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,960 Speaker 9: what's the real issue. There seems to always be a 1389 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:13,280 Speaker 9: compromise and usually just got to communicate it. 1390 01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:13,720 Speaker 5: It's true. 1391 01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,960 Speaker 9: But that's the end of that story and the end 1392 01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,800 Speaker 9: of the episode. We love you and see you tomorrow.