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Speaker 1: I know people will say, where are we We've got

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Speaker 1: no representation, Like because you kicked us whilst we were down,

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't give us a chance. We can't be your

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Speaker 1: perfect version of Asian. Can't we just be grateful that

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Speaker 1: we've got Asians on TV? We've got Asians at least

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Speaker 1: somewhat representing us. Fan Friends British American fashion designer from

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Speaker 1: the Emmy Award winning show Queer Eye.

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Speaker 2: Host of the web series Dressing Funny, and co host

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Speaker 2: of Next in Fashion.

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Speaker 1: I think that people are very, very shocked when they

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Speaker 1: hear me interview as opposed to when they see me

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Speaker 1: on Queer Eye. On Queer Eye, I'm edited a lot.

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Speaker 1: They always said you're the break. We want you to

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Speaker 1: be the classy one, which is so funny because somebody

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Speaker 1: brit On I was never the class what I was

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Speaker 1: tried through and through. I'm done think I'm done with

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Speaker 1: social I'm done with being an entertainer. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: quit it all.

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Speaker 2: This week's guest has broken many glass ceilings. He is

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Speaker 2: unapologetically himself a fashion icon, a party mouth, and a

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Speaker 2: fellow brand. It's no other than Tan France. In this episode,

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Speaker 2: we talk about things that Tan has never spoken about before.

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Speaker 2: We discussed as childhood, breaking cultural norms and expectations, his

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Speaker 2: journey from being a shy child to being on a

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Speaker 2: multi Emmy award winning show, how celebrity life has affected him,

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Speaker 2: and most importantly, the secret to his silky soft, smooth

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Speaker 2: skin at forty. This conversation is everything he is. It's insightful, vibrant, effortless,

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Speaker 2: a little bit cheeky, and absolutely hilarious. Okay, well, first

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Speaker 2: of all, I just want to say that I am

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Speaker 2: genuinely so excited and so honored that you came on

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Speaker 2: this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thanks.

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Speaker 2: You have so many things going on, but I really

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Speaker 2: appreciate it. I admire you so much.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: I love everything that you've done. You have been an

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Speaker 2: icon in my life and so many people that I know,

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Speaker 2: and reading your book, I absolutely adored it because I

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Speaker 2: could hear your voice through every single sentence.

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Speaker 1: Yeah a lot I hear.

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Speaker 2: I could literally reading the words. I could hear your

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Speaker 2: voice was in my ear as I was reading it.

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Speaker 2: And I love that you could feel you through your

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Speaker 2: book so much. So thank you, of.

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Speaker 1: Course, thank you for all I love that you're having

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Speaker 1: me on this I'm really honored and I.

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Speaker 2: Really appreciated your honesty through the book and how vulnerable

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Speaker 2: you are about topics which some people may shy away from.

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Speaker 2: And I was thinking about the work that you do

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Speaker 2: right now, which is literally helping people be comfortable and

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Speaker 2: love themselves so deeply. But then when I was reading

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Speaker 2: your book, it made me so sad because of the

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Speaker 2: things that you've been through where you almost were trying to,

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Speaker 2: because of society, erase so much of yourself from a

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Speaker 2: young age. And so I really want to talk to

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Speaker 2: you and start off with that and how it was

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Speaker 2: for you, Like what was it that got you from

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Speaker 2: that place to who you are now?

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Speaker 1: The main thing is this that I feel now. People

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Speaker 1: ask a lot, how is it to be able to

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Speaker 1: help people? How is it to make somebody who doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel great about themselves feel goodbout themselve? I'm not talking

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Speaker 1: about and queer. I'm talking about in every walk of life.

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Speaker 1: I am a peppy positive person, a peppy positive brit

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Speaker 1: which actually is not quite common for any American out

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Speaker 1: there that is not. I am quite an anomaly, and

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Speaker 1: it's because I thought a lot about it. I've never

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Speaker 1: done therapy, but I've thought a lot about it, and

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Speaker 1: I think when you go through such adversity as a

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Speaker 1: kid and you and you then understand how to regulate

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Speaker 1: your emotions, you understand how to process fear, anger, her upset,

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Speaker 1: all those things. I think that it puts you in

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Speaker 1: a really strong position as you're older, to be able

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Speaker 1: to help people with theirs. Because, quite honestly, if I've

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Speaker 1: workshopped anything in my life, it's not anything that I

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Speaker 1: do in the fashion space. It's nothing I do in

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Speaker 1: the style space. It's what I do with my emotions.

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Speaker 1: And that came from such young age. Gosh, this is

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Speaker 1: going to be way too much to go into, but

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to go. When you start your life

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Speaker 1: physically I ting your way to safety, that does something

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Speaker 1: to a kid. It makes you process things in a

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Speaker 1: really different way to most kids. And so I would

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Speaker 1: see these floaty kids floating around the playground yard thinking, God,

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Speaker 1: that life must be nice. You're just trying to have

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Speaker 1: fun with your friends, playing on your game Boy or whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking, Am I going to make it home alive today?

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Speaker 1: Those kind of struggles make sure that you are constantly

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Speaker 1: working on. Can I still be strong? Can I still

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Speaker 1: process who I am as a person? Are they knocking

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Speaker 1: me down constantly? Who am I? Really?

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Speaker 2: Am?

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Speaker 1: I a product of them? Am I a product of

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Speaker 1: my family and my friends? And so when you have

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Speaker 1: that your whole life, all you can do is, I

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Speaker 1: would like to believe, all you can and should do

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Speaker 1: is help others process those feelings as they get older.

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Speaker 1: It's not something ever I ever ever thought I would

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Speaker 1: do as a career. I thought I'm going to make

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Speaker 1: girls feel pretty in address, But I think the queer

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Speaker 1: eye they really did help me open up this thing

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Speaker 1: in my heart and my mind and my career that

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Speaker 1: I never thought possible.

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Speaker 2: And how did you end up processing that? Fair? Because

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Speaker 2: for you, how long a period were you living would

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Speaker 2: you say in fearful from in your childhood?

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Speaker 1: The whole time I lived in the UK. I started

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Speaker 1: to really move out of the UK in my early twenties.

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Speaker 1: I'm not shaving the UK. I love the UK. I

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Speaker 1: love the people in the UK. But as we all know,

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Speaker 1: it's the very vocal few that can really impact who

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Speaker 1: you are. And so it was those vocal few that

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Speaker 1: really scared me and worried me and made me fearful

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Speaker 1: of living in a country like England. And so when

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Speaker 1: I was in my early twenties, I finally got to

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Speaker 1: the point where I thought, I don't think I'm ever

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Speaker 1: going to get over these feelings. And even if there

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Speaker 1: wasn't that physical fear anymore, even if I thought well

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Speaker 1: I can protect myself, I still couldn't get over the

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Speaker 1: fact that I'd had twenty years of feeling this way.

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Speaker 1: It's not easy to get over. And at that point,

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Speaker 1: being in England, I didn't really consider therapy. That wasn't

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Speaker 1: something I would have considered, and so I just thought, well,

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Speaker 1: I've got to get away. I've got quite frankly, I

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Speaker 1: was running away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and did you find that in our culture? I

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Speaker 2: feel you said, therapy is obviously something that you don't

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Speaker 2: even think about when you're younger, but neither is you know,

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Speaker 2: moving away from home. Oh yeah, So how did you

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Speaker 2: break free from kind of the cultural expectations of you

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Speaker 2: and have the courage? Because we all have these dreams,

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Speaker 2: like we can be younger, and we can have all

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Speaker 2: these dreams and desires to break free from a lot

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Speaker 2: of things and to step out of our comfort zone,

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Speaker 2: but to actually do it is our whole other thing.

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Speaker 2: We can spend our whole life dreaming, which many people do.

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Speaker 2: So for people who are dreaming but haven't yet taken

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Speaker 2: that step. For you, let's be honest. You were going.

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Speaker 2: You were dealing with cultural expectations in so many different

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Speaker 2: ways that you were defying. How what what gave you

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Speaker 2: that courage to be like, you know what I'm going?

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Speaker 2: And was it the fear with It's simply the fear

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Speaker 2: that was like you know what, Bye, I'm done.

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Speaker 1: There are many things that encouraged it, first and foremost,

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, how old are you?

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Speaker 2: Thirty three?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Then you do know this? You remember the movie

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Speaker 1: The Valie of the Lanielle Giant Game? Of course you do? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So there was so for anyone out there who does

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Speaker 1: not know what this is. This is arguably the most

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Speaker 1: successful Bollywood movie and it's still I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you know, it still plays in cinemas in India. Yeah

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Speaker 1: to this stay twenty five years later. And so I

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Speaker 1: watched that movie and this is girl of course Cimmeren

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Speaker 1: in the movie who asks her father for just one month.

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Speaker 1: She says, will you just give me one month to

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Speaker 1: live my life? And then I will do whatever you

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Speaker 1: want I'll marry the boy that you want it. She's

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Speaker 1: about to get an arranged marriage, she's betrothed to a boy,

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Speaker 1: and she goes to Europe, and I remember so distantly thinking,

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Speaker 1: one day I'm going to ask my family to give

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Speaker 1: me just a month. I just want a month where

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Speaker 1: I get to be whoever I want to be. At

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Speaker 1: that point, my dad was alive, and my dad died

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Speaker 1: when I was four, just before I turned fourteen, and

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Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, I don't have to have that really

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Speaker 1: difficult conversation. This is obviously it was a horrible experience,

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Speaker 1: but I also thought, I don't have to have that

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Speaker 1: tough conversation with my father to say, can you just

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Speaker 1: give me this time on my own, because all my

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Speaker 1: siblings were getting the arrange marriages, or my family has

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Speaker 1: arranged marriages. We don't really do love marriages. And so

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Speaker 1: I knew that that was my future. And then when

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Speaker 1: my dad passed away, I then weirdly had the freedom

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Speaker 1: to be able to say to my mom, because I

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Speaker 1: was never scared of my mom, to say, Mom was

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Speaker 1: just going to go away for a little bit. And

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Speaker 1: so that was the first thing I felt so inspired

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Speaker 1: by this movie and then there was also, as you said,

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Speaker 1: the fear thinking I've got to get away. But then, honestly,

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Speaker 1: the biggest catalyst for me was I knew I was

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Speaker 1: gay from a very young age. I always knew, and

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Speaker 1: I knew that no one would understand it my community.

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Speaker 1: I lived in a really small town in South Yorkshire.

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Speaker 1: There were only a few Asian families, and no matter

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Speaker 1: how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of the gay.

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Speaker 1: I prayed so hard, like I did all I could

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Speaker 1: to try so hard to stop it, and I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: And so finally, a very young age, you just leaned in,

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Speaker 1: thinking I'm religious. I've prayed as hard as I can,

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Speaker 1: nothing can stop this. And so I thought, well, I

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Speaker 1: have to run away. I have to move away. My parents,

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Speaker 1: my family, sorry, will never come to America. I know

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Speaker 1: that they don't like to travel, they don't like to

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Speaker 1: fly far. America is too far for them to travel too.

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Speaker 1: If I go there, no one will ever know, and

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Speaker 1: I can lie, I can say I married a white

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Speaker 1: girl and they won't need to meet her, because we

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Speaker 1: typically don't marry outside of a race. So they'll be like, no,

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Speaker 1: she's not allowed to our home. Okay, great, then you

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Speaker 1: don't need to meet her. I married a white lady.

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Speaker 1: I've now lived in America, so be it, and I

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Speaker 1: honestly thought that that's how my life would play out.

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Speaker 1: But then I really my family and I still needed them.

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Speaker 2: You had did you have the honest conversation with them

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Speaker 2: when you wanted to leave?

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Speaker 1: Not when I know when I wanted to leave. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: to me a long time, I was like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go for work. I'll be back thinking I'm

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Speaker 1: never going to be able to come back here. And

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Speaker 1: I honestly did think that after a few years. By

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Speaker 1: that by the time I hit twenty five, because gosh,

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Speaker 1: I'm making my people sound so archaic. They're not. It's

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Speaker 1: just our culture. But by twenty five you typically get

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Speaker 1: married in my culture, especially within my small South Asian

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Speaker 1: community in South Yorkshire, everyone gets married by twenty five.

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Speaker 1: If you don't, something was wrong with you. And by

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Speaker 1: wrong with you, I mean I was obviously. So I thought, Okay,

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Speaker 1: by the time I hit twenty five, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: have to just never see my family again. I'm just

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Speaker 1: gonna have to fall off the base of the earth

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Speaker 1: and they're going to have to just assume I died

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Speaker 1: or something, which is such a dark thing to think.

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Speaker 1: But I really did think I'm not going to be

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Speaker 1: able to have any contact, no communication. But because I'm

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Speaker 1: obsessed with my family, which is really frustrating, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: give them up. And so when I was about twenty four,

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Speaker 1: I told them, I was like, look, I know that

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Speaker 1: this is the expectation, but I'm gay. I found a

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Speaker 1: man that I'm going to marry instead blowing looking back

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Speaker 1: I was fifteen years ago. That is mind blowing for

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Speaker 1: my people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean even now my grandma, my grandma, and

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Speaker 2: I talked to her about my friends and one of

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Speaker 2: my friends, one of my closest friends, who is gay,

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Speaker 2: and she's like, so, how does that work?

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Speaker 1: Like her question, and.

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Speaker 2: It's honestly from such innocent place of like, how does

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Speaker 2: that work? I've never seen it before. So it's a

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Speaker 2: man and a man and like, and what do they do?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, they do exactly the same thing that me,

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Speaker 2: and like, it's so interesting because there's so much education

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Speaker 2: that needs to happen. But it makes me sad that

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Speaker 2: in our culture, we're still in a place where people

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Speaker 2: feel like they have to run away from what is

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Speaker 2: their love and their support and their security and their safety.

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Speaker 2: What is supposed to be that our culture is supposed

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Speaker 2: to be that we're based on religious principles, which traditionally

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Speaker 2: is accepting all people and loving all people.

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Speaker 1: With a caveat if you fit in, if.

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Speaker 2: You've but that's that's what I mean, and the fact

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Speaker 2: that you felt. And I know many people, whether it's

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Speaker 2: in my culture or in my spiritual community or in yours,

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Speaker 2: it's the same story of I have to run away

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Speaker 2: to be able to live my life versus I can

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Speaker 2: have this support and love that I need in the

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Speaker 2: community that I want to be part of. And I

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Speaker 2: think that there's this really sad change and shift of

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Speaker 2: what religion actually is and what spirituality actually is and

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Speaker 2: how man has or people have man, how man has

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Speaker 2: completely changed what is religion and what is culture absolutely

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Speaker 2: and unfortunately mixed the two where we actually don't know

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Speaker 2: because we're not going back and studying and we're not

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Speaker 2: going back and learning what it actually says.

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Speaker 1: Do you know how I feel about it is this

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter for me what it says. I don't

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Speaker 1: judge anyone based on who they are sleeping with I

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Speaker 1: don't know what my extended family members are doing behind

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Speaker 1: closed those with their partners, and I don't care. Why

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Speaker 1: do you care so much what I'm doing behind closed those?

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Speaker 1: Why are you, as a straight man, so concerned with

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Speaker 1: what gays are doing behind closed doors. It's not affecting

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Speaker 1: you at all. And when I first told family and

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Speaker 1: friends when my husband and I first got married, there

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Speaker 1: were so many people who were so angry and upset

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Speaker 1: about it and how it was going to affect our culture,

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Speaker 1: the world. Yeah, and I just thought, nothing I do

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Speaker 1: with my husband is going to affect any of you.

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Speaker 1: It has no bearing on your lives. If anything, it's

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Speaker 1: going to show you what trulerb is because I love

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Speaker 1: my husband so deeply. Fifteen years on, he's still my

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Speaker 1: favorite person in the world, and a lot of you

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Speaker 1: could learn from my relationship. So, yes, you may be

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Speaker 1: fearful of it, maybe maybe just listen and learn something.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy to me because when obviously living in LA,

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Speaker 2: those judgments are far less. I think people, you know,

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Speaker 2: maybe judging people's botox, but we're not judging people for

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Speaker 2: what they actually are, like you know, And every time

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Speaker 2: I go back to London. I notice that over and

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Speaker 2: over again and again. I love London. My family's from there.

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Speaker 2: It is, you know, it was something I will always

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Speaker 2: call home. But I find that it makes me sad

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Speaker 2: that we are not shifting with not even with the time,

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Speaker 2: with understanding the non judgmental aspect of things. And I

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Speaker 2: do find that when I have, when I've noticed people

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Speaker 2: judging others based on things like that, it comes from

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Speaker 2: such a deep rooted place of not acceptance of themselves

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Speaker 2: and not acceptance of Obviously, if if you're comfortable with yourself,

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Speaker 2: you're comfortable with everyone being themselves, but they think that

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Speaker 2: you're they think the other way around. They're like, you

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Speaker 2: are making me uncomfortable, You're making yourself uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Every time I go to an Asian wedding and

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Speaker 1: someone they start to widen their eyes because they're so

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Speaker 1: freaked out that I'm there. What do you think is

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Speaker 1: going to happen today? You think I'm just going to

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Speaker 1: pounce on you and try to sex you. I'm not.

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Speaker 1: First of all, you're not my type, You're not most

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Speaker 1: people's type. I'm not into you. And so the amount

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Speaker 1: of times I just want to say I've come into

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Speaker 1: this with nothing but love. Maybe maybe treat me the

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Speaker 1: same way I've seen my humanity first and foremost. I

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Speaker 1: don't need you to care about the fact that I'm gay.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to worry that I'm going to impact

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Speaker 1: your children anyway. If I do, it's based on my humanity,

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Speaker 1: not based on who I'm having sex with.

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Speaker 2: And you had in your book you wrote about nature

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Speaker 2: nurture and about being gay, and I loved what you said.

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Speaker 2: Were you you were, you were born and you knew

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Speaker 2: what you wanted from the moment you can remember, like

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Speaker 2: there was no question of is it this or is

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Speaker 2: it this? And it wasn't a question of I've been

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Speaker 2: brought up in this way or raised in this way

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Speaker 2: and that's what's made me this way. And I think

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Speaker 2: people really miss the essence of that, because I know

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Speaker 2: even my friends who've grown up in a similar situation

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Speaker 2: where that I Do you think I would want to

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Speaker 2: Do you think I want to be in a position

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Speaker 2: where people are bullying me, beating me up, where people

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Speaker 2: are going to judge me for the rest of my life?

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Speaker 2: Do you think this is something I would just sit

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Speaker 2: here and choose? Because it is a difficult option for me.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's funny. I hear this from my people, our

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Speaker 1: people more than most that we me and the other queers. Now,

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Speaker 1: I do doing it because it's fashionable, because it's oh,

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Speaker 1: everyone's being queer. Now, I'm like, you think that any

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Speaker 1: of us, especially South Asians, are choosing this. If you do,

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Speaker 1: your a moron. Yeah, that's just the way it is.

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Speaker 1: You're an absolute idiot if you think that somebody would

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Speaker 1: choose the most difficult path in life just because it's

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Speaker 1: the cool thing to do. No one's doing that. I

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Speaker 1: also hear the argument so often, but this isn't just

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Speaker 1: from our own people, this is from many, including a

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Speaker 1: lot of Americans. Well, if we put the queers on TV,

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Speaker 1: and we've got it in the movies, that's going to

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Speaker 1: encourage our kids. Let me tell you, all I saw

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Speaker 1: for decades was straight shows, straight movies. I watched so

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Speaker 1: many shows where men and women were kissing, having sex.

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Speaker 1: If that were true, that you can be so impacted

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Speaker 1: by a show, I'd be straight. It's all we had.

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Speaker 1: There would be not one gay person in the world

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Speaker 1: because we would have seen only straight people on TV.

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Speaker 1: And so it's such a stupid argument. I just if

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Speaker 1: nothing else, I just want people to think I'll give

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Speaker 1: him the benefit of the doubt. He's just a kind person.

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Speaker 1: Can't we just see that person foremost exactly?

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Speaker 2: And I find that, you know, every time I think

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Speaker 2: about being in that situation and how you have now

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Speaker 2: become who you are, I wonder, like, do you still

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Speaker 2: feel a lot of what happened to you when you're

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Speaker 2: when you were younger is still shaping who you are now?

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Speaker 2: Or do you feel you've spent enough time processing it

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Speaker 2: and kind of digesting it.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel the feelings I used to feel, and

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Speaker 1: I've worked on that heck of a lot since I

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Speaker 1: came to America, and so much of it is through

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Speaker 1: my husband. I say I never needed a night in

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Speaker 1: shining arm or I didn't eat a white night, but

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Speaker 1: unfortunately that one. But it's just because he helped me

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Speaker 1: understand what love looks like and what kindness looks like.

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Speaker 1: My husband is one of the kindest peit. If you

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Speaker 1: ever meet somebody who's met my husband, they will say

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Speaker 1: he's the nicest manual ever met. He's an angel from heaven,

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Speaker 1: and so he has really made me understand that all

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Speaker 1: those things that I thought of myself were untrue. Do

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Speaker 1: I still feel those feelings sometimes? Absolutely? Do. I sometimes

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Speaker 1: look in the mirror and have to remind myself it's

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Speaker 1: okay if I look darker that day, it's not a problem. Yeah, yes,

378
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Speaker 1: you do not need to bleach your skin. Or that's

379
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Speaker 1: just that shitty little feeling that you were getting when

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Speaker 1: you're a kid, or there's that education you got as

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Speaker 1: a kid that that's not true. I think that's the

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Speaker 1: main residual issue I have is reminding myself my skin

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Speaker 1: clothes beautiful, don't worry about it.

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Speaker 2: I've trained myself for a long time for that, because

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Speaker 2: I actually grew up as being the lightest sibling and

386
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Speaker 2: one of the lighter girls in my family. And it

387
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Speaker 2: was so funny because I loved my sister so much.

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Speaker 2: Everything she did, She's four years older than me, everything

389
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Speaker 2: she did was like, I want to wear that, I

390
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 2: want to be Yeah, I want to do everything she does.

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Speaker 2: She was actually darker than me growing up, and all

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Speaker 2: we would hear throughout our really our time as children,

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Speaker 2: was I was the lighter skinned girl with green eyes

394
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Speaker 2: from our whole community, family, friends, everything, it would be.

395
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Speaker 2: People would see me, they'd be like, look at her

396
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Speaker 2: green eyes. She's so fair, and my sister would always

397
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Speaker 2: feel it. I didn't even know she felt that way

398
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Speaker 2: until we got older, and only recently, within the last

399
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Speaker 2: couple of years. I can't of remember when we had

400
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 2: this conversation and I realized that our relationship had actually

401
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 2: was difficult, not even not difficult. We weren't as close

402
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 2: as we could have been because everyone was batting us

403
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Speaker 2: against each other from the moment I was born.

404
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 1: And not based on your accomplishments.

405
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Speaker 2: And she was the more intelligent one. She was the

406
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 2: one who did everything right. She was an incredible child

407
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 2: and human growing up. But it was just those things

408
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 2: that made our relationship so difficult. And she's worked through

409
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: so much of it, and I can feel it where

410
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 2: we've come to a place where she realized it wasn't

411
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 2: about anybody else, and she realized everything everyone else was

412
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Speaker 2: telling us was influencing our relationship, and so did I

413
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Speaker 2: and we're able to love each other so deeply now.

414
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Speaker 2: But it took years, Yes, it took years. And even

415
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Speaker 2: now I go on holiday and I'm like, you know what,

416
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Speaker 2: I actually love getting a tan now since I've got

417
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Speaker 2: since I've got here, I'm like, it is so beautiful,

418
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 2: and it is so it makes me feel so vibrant

419
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Speaker 2: and alive. But it's that's that little thread that goes

420
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Speaker 2: through your mind because I know my mom's like, oh,

421
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 2: you know, you've got a tan, And every time she

422
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 2: says that, I'm like, is she saying that in a

423
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Speaker 2: bad way or in a good Families.

424
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Speaker 1: Will always come and say, oh, you look dark. And

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Speaker 1: it's never in a wow love that you've got to chat.

426
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: It's never even on holiday you look great.

427
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: No, it's not that.

428
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Speaker 1: It's never that, it's never that.

429
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Speaker 2: Do you ever find it difficult being because I find

430
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Speaker 2: as soon as you are from a minority group, who

431
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 2: you know makes it big and you end up being,

432
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 2: without asking for it, kind of the spokesperson for things.

433
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 2: How has that been for you? Because I know for me,

434
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 2: even though it's to a much smaller degree, I find

435
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:34,640
Speaker 2: it not suffocating but a little bit scary because I love,

436
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 2: I love, actually love the culture that we come from,

437
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 2: and I and I really have learned to embrace it,

438
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,719
Speaker 2: whether it's the food, the colors, the culture. And actually

439
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 2: I notice it being embraced so much more in different

440
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,120
Speaker 2: ways in the Western culture now. It's you know, we've

441
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: got our turmeric lattes and we have our yoga somewhereset's

442
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 2: come in. And I appreciate that, and I love being

443
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 2: that person because it is part of who I am.

444
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,399
Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's a scary place to

445
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 2: be because as soon as you do one thing that

446
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 2: upsets people, you are officially upsetting a whole community, and

447
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 2: you're taking down, in their eyes, a whole community.

448
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: For anyone who doesn't know, there are like one point

449
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: eight billion of us, which is insane. In the West,

450
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 1: there are so few of us on television or in

451
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 1: the media, a handful. I think I could probably count

452
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 1: ten max who are known people like household names. And

453
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: the difficult the difficulty is is that so many people

454
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: want to want to feel like the victim within a

455
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: victimized group. But when you are queer and Muslim and

456
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: an immigrant and you are also South Asian, like, oh no,

457
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: I'm a minority within that minority, even though it's not

458
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,600
Speaker 1: a minority because there's alvious two million of us, because

459
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: there are none of us really that represent the way

460
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 1: that the whites have or the black community as in America,

461
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: we are such a small group of entertainers, and I

462
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 1: consider you entertainer. I don't know if that's how you

463
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 1: refer to yourself as you enter. The pressure is so great,

464
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: but I try really hard to not think about that.

465
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: I really try and think what feels right for me.

466
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 1: I'm going to do that and if it doesn't work,

467
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: I'm the first one to say, which is probably shitty

468
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. I can't represent you all.

469
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: It's physically impossible. I can't be your version of a

470
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,679
Speaker 1: perfect person. I can only be the best version I

471
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: can come up with. But I will say, and this

472
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: is controversial, but you and I were talking about it.

473
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: For one I'm just gonna go there. I do feel

474
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: so much pain, not from the white community, not from

475
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: the black, not of any of the community, like I

476
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: do from our own community. Anyone else can knock me down.

477
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh yeah, that stung a little bit, but

478
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 1: when it's from our own it feels like taking a bullet.

479
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: Because I was also this person, I would cry out

480
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 1: for representation on TV in England when I was coming up,

481
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 1: we didn't really have anyone. Maybe a family on EastEnders

482
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: every now and then, but that was the best we got.

483
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: There were caricatures of who we are. Yeah, and so

484
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,719
Speaker 1: there really wasn't real There weren't real people, and so

485
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: I always thought, gosh, what is it about us that

486
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: no one wants to see? Why don't they care about us?

487
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,199
Speaker 1: And now I kind of get it, because now that

488
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: we have us, there are a few of us. Our

489
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: people are the first ones to knock us down. And

490
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: I just think, if we go away, if me, you

491
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 1: and the other seven or eight of us go away,

492
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 1: because we keep getting so much abuse for our own people.

493
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: I know our people will say, where are we? We've

494
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: got no representation, like because you kicked us whilst we

495
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 1: were down, because you made us go away, you wouldn't

496
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: give us a chance. We can't be your perfect version

497
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: of Asian. Can't we just be grateful that we've got

498
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: Asians on TV? We've got Asians at least somewhat representing us.

499
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: When I go to an Asian event, I try and

500
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: put on at least something that Stasian. I was one

501
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: of the first people that were a Schiavanni years ago

502
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 1: to the Emmy's, like one of the first who was

503
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: actually nominated for award who wore a Shiavanni. And so

504
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: many of our people not to be down saying, well,

505
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: I don't mind that caller, Oh that's more of a

506
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: wedding Shiavanni was, I don't care. Oh he's got a

507
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: Mongol suthra, and yeah, I loved it. I just thought

508
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: it was a beautiful piece of jewelry. I'm not saying

509
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: of a bride like all those things that came from

510
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: our community. I just thought, can't you just be grateful

511
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: that one of us is wearing something Asian here tonight.

512
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: I didn't just turn up in a tuxedo. And so

513
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: that's the only part that I find stifling. I just

514
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: think our people give us a break. We can't be

515
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: perfect always. For you be grateful that you've got a

516
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: Salva Asian who's a positive influence.

517
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: It's so true, and you've kept going regardless of all

518
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 2: of it. And that's what people don't see. And I

519
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: actually really appreciate how you know, you're someone who could

520
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 2: You know, when people see a celebrity and they see

521
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 2: what kind of life they live or the glamor of

522
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 2: it all, you imagine that they want to be seen

523
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: all the time, want to you know it almost people

524
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 2: don't realize that it's a human role that you just

525
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 2: appreciate the work that you're doing. It's not that you

526
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: necessarily want to be spoken about all the time and

527
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 2: seen all the time and heard all the time. And

528
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 2: you've really removed you, I feel from you know, a

529
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 2: lens of seeing you a little bit closer than the

530
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 2: outside world, that you've removed yourself from. What could have

531
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,120
Speaker 2: been you being paparazzi all the time, or being being

532
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 2: in the eye all the time. What made you remove

533
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 2: yourself from kind of I think the celebrity culture that

534
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 2: could have been living in la and living in the

535
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 2: thicker bit.

536
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 1: Actually our people, really, I really really when I got

537
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: the job, I was at that time. Look maybe I'm wrong,

538
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: and maybe there was somebody else, but at that time

539
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: time I was the first queer South Asian who was

540
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 1: openly queer. And then I was also the first openly

541
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: queer Muslim, and so I just thought, I want to

542
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: do the best I can for our people. I want

543
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: to try really hard to be the perfect person, which

544
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: no one can be, but I really wanted to try,

545
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: and so I thought I saw my cast mates so

546
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 1: queer I was the first show. Anyone who doesn't know

547
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: where I'm from. I'm from initially from a show called Queerrai,

548
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: which was the first entertainment job I ever got. And

549
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: on this show there were five of us. I'm the

550
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: only South Asian. Yeah, I'm the only foreigner of renswers

551
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 1: from the US actually, and he's from Canada, but he

552
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: was raised in the US anyway. So they all wanted

553
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 1: to move to New York for LA. One of them

554
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,239
Speaker 1: was already in LA, but the rest of them were

555
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: moving to New York LA, and I made a conscious

556
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: decision to stay where I was in Salt Lake City, Utah.

557
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be stumbling out of a nightclub.

558
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be seen at every party I want.

559
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: I wanted our people to see, you know what, he's

560
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: taking this ready serious, He's taking this this quite honestly,

561
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: this burden really seriously. Yes, I know that our job

562
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 1: pays better than most jobs. I know that we get

563
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: invited to parties, but it is quite a responsibility and

564
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,639
Speaker 1: sometimes a burden of responsibility to represent so many people.

565
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: And so I just thought, if I stay home, people

566
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: will see that I'm just about the job. That's and

567
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: it's just my job. I still am the same person

568
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: I always was, and six years on it's now being

569
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, it's close to seven years in February that

570
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: we start shooting the show. I slip in Saltlake. I

571
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: just finished my dream home. I plan to live there forever.

572
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 1: I don't live in LA I don't live in New York.

573
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: You will never see me stumbling out stumbling out of

574
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: a nightclub, which no shade. But they a lot of

575
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: people who are in that position. They don't have to

576
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: speak for their community. There are thousands of millions of

577
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,239
Speaker 1: white people on TV. You get to make all your

578
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 1: mistakes and no one's going to care about that. But

579
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: if I make mistakes, if you make mistakes, we know

580
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: what that means for our people. And so that's why

581
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: I choose to not live that life. You don't typically

582
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: see me out and about. Yeah, you'll see me do interviews. Yeah,

583
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: you'll see me do press. That's part of my job.

584
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: I'm required to do press. I'm contractually obligated to do

585
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: press for my work. But other than that, you don't

586
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: see me out and about.

587
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 2: Now, I feel like the energy that you've kept and

588
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: maintained for yourself is so beautiful and from the moment

589
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 2: that I met you in person, Like I've seen you

590
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 2: on TV and I was always a fan, but meeting

591
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 2: you in person was even better than all of that,

592
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: perfect because I felt that as soon as I met you,

593
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: I felt completely grounded in your energy and I could

594
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,959
Speaker 2: tell that you've worked so hard to even build that

595
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,239
Speaker 2: within yourself and to maintain being a positive person as

596
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: you are. Like you are, your energy gives to so

597
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 2: many people from the moment they see you. It just

598
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 2: feel like feel you fill people up. How do you

599
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: as a person who is regularly probably torn down and

600
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: you choose not to see it, but you still get that.

601
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 2: How do you want what you're drinking? But also what

602
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 2: do you do on a daily basis or on a

603
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: you know what fuels you?

604
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: You know? Okay, I've got so much I want to

605
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: say about this, because a lot of the Brits will

606
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: say that it's an act. I came to America and

607
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: I just did a peppy think because Americans a peppy

608
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: and phony. That's what they think. I'm like, No, Actually,

609
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: most of the people in my life are peppy because

610
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: they really do want to see the positive in life,

611
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: and I love that about them, and I feel that way. Also,

612
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: I often think, well, what am I going to moan about?

613
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: What have I got to be angry about. I'm the

614
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: luckiest person in the world. I've got my husband who

615
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 1: I love. I've got friends who I love and respect.

616
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: I've got my children who I'm obsessed with. What have

617
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: I really got that I need to moan about? Yeah,

618
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: I have my gripes every now and that, Yeah, Okay,

619
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: this didn't work out, that didn't work out. But on

620
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: the whole, an incredibly happy person. But that's because I'm

621
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 1: actively working on that regularly. I don't think happiness just comes.

622
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 1: I think you've got it's a process, and so the

623
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: things that keep me that way. It works in my

624
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: relationship a lot. You know. I was recent with a

625
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: couple of friends and there were talking about relationships, and

626
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: they are very public and they are in relationships now,

627
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 1: but they have had failed relationships in the past, and

628
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: we were talking about my relationship and they were saying,

629
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: we just want a relationship like yours and robs. You

630
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: love each other like you're obsessed with each other, and

631
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: you will never, ever when you're not around that person,

632
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: rip them down. Yes, I will never belittle my partner

633
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: will never speak negatively. And I've said many times I'm

634
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: going to say it here again. Your relationship, as far

635
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: as I'm concerned, should be the easiest thing in your life.

636
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: It should be the thing that grounds you and gives

637
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: you comfort. If anytime I hear somebody talk about how

638
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: hard the relationship is or marriage is really hard work,

639
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: I just think you're in the wrong one. I don't

640
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: think it has to be that way. And so, yeah,

641
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: work on things, things will come up, work on them.

642
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: But your resting state in your relationship shouldn't be it's

643
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: hard work. It's not. And so that is a really

644
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: a real grounding force me my partner, but then also

645
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: my family. If I do something that's kind of bonkers,

646
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: my sister. I love my sisters so much. I speak

647
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: was so regularly, but she's the first one to take

648
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: the piss when I've want something in a red carpet

649
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: that is wild, and I keep having treminded I can't

650
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: wear a tuxedo because I'm the style guy. I've got

651
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 1: to switch, you know, I've got to keep people on

652
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: their toes. And sometimes it's bonkers, and I know it's bonkers,

653
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: but I'm like I want to keep them guessing. And

654
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: she's the first one with my cousins who'll be like,

655
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: what were you thinking, Like you look like a clown. Yeah,

656
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm enjoying myself, and so having people

657
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: like that in my life also really helps. And if

658
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: I start to get a little bit extra, they're the

659
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: first ones to say, let's not get it twisted. We're

660
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: from a very poor community in England, like chill out. Yeah,

661
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: I tone it down, man, And that all really helps,

662
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: and it reminds me of just how grateful I am

663
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: for this life. I was never meant to be here Radia.

664
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 1: I was never meant to be here, and so the

665
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: fact that I get to a coup in my home

666
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 1: every day with my partner and I get to enjoy

667
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: all of this, I just think, Yeah, I think I'm overjoyed.

668
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: I'm overjoyed. It's not an act. And I think that

669
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: when people see my joy and I talk about how

670
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: I like to be positive on TV, I am also

671
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 1: a bit Yeah.

672
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,959
Speaker 2: By the way, I'm going to get onto that in

673
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: your book, because I love that part of you in

674
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: the book.

675
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: Definitely. I think the duality is really important.

676
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 2: I will say be sassy and still be a kind person.

677
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Absolutely. And here's the thing. I think

678
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: that people are very very shocked when they hear me

679
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: interview as opposed to when they see me on QUEERRA.

680
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 1: On Queer, I I'm edited a lot. I don't swear really.

681
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: On Queer I'm edited so heavily. They always said you're

682
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: the brit we want you to be the classy one,

683
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: which is so funny because somebody put us on and

684
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: I was never the class what I was trying through

685
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: and through and so now I when I'm when I'm

686
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: doing interviews, I need people to see now I'm a

687
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: fully dimensional person. I can have a bitchy comment. I'm

688
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 1: always sassy. I've always got a sak equip. But it

689
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I'm not kind. I will always try and

690
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 1: be kind, but sometimes I think not that person being

691
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: a told douchebag.

692
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 2: It's real, and I think it really helps when you

693
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 2: say that about your family, there's a there's a sense

694
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 2: of if you're close people that you really love and adore,

695
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 2: they accept and love you. There's a sense of security

696
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:19,320
Speaker 2: and solid foundation where even if everything else gets rattled

697
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 2: around you, you have this to come back to Wait,

698
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 2: what was it? What were you saying that I wanted

699
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 2: to touch on. Oh yeah, so you in your book

700
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: talk about Emma. It made me laugh so much. The

701
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 2: girl who or who have the Emma then reached out

702
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: to you on Facebook.

703
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: Yes, that was a big name.

704
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: Facebook, and I wanted to ask you about whether you

705
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 2: actually still have any friends left from your childhood, like

706
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 2: do you have friends? Would you friends from that time?

707
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: One from when I was sixteen? I don't have friends

708
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: from like school, but as soon as I entered college,

709
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: I met this one girl in my hometown who is

710
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: still one of my very very closest friends. Oh this

711
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: is quite honestly. So I had mostly white friends at

712
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 1: school because the majority of my school was white, but

713
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: there were a couple of Asian kids in my year

714
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: and I was friends with them. We got along great

715
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: with watch school together. However, when I came out, none

716
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: of them wanted to be a part of my life.

717
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: They were just very traditional. One Indian person and then

718
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: two Pakistanis and yeah, all of them wanted to not

719
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: be involved with me once I came out.

720
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 2: How do you manage obviously after everything changes and you know,

721
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 2: people feel even celebrity relationships and friendships are criticized of

722
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 2: not being real because once you're once you're in the

723
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 2: public eye, it's like, well everything is just fake, that

724
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 2: everything is fake. How has it been for you building

725
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 2: friendships and do you feel like you've been able to

726
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 2: build deep connections with people? And what do you determine

727
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 2: a real friendship to be? Because I think people struggle

728
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 2: with that.

729
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, can you write a note down? Please just

730
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,399
Speaker 1: write the word illuminati. I need you to come back

731
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: to that. So you just reminded you of something that

732
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: is so funny that I've never said, and I wrote

733
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 1: what to tell? Please do. So when it comes to friendships,

734
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: how I view friendships is like real friendships. So I've

735
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 1: had friends for years who were my friends before Queerie,

736
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 1: and that's still my friends and I'm so grateful for that.

737
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: Like the eight girls their partners, they all come over

738
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,280
Speaker 1: to a house for dinner. I cook from them regularly.

739
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: They're still my writer debts. And then my British friends

740
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 1: who I love, my newer friends. I will say this

741
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 1: and people, this is something I wrote in the book

742
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: that never made it into the final version that you

743
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: guys see because my editor was like, people might take

744
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 1: this really badly, and I was like, okay, but I'm

745
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: going to tell.

746
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 2: You now please.

747
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: And I've never said this before. I don't make new

748
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: friends who aren't entertainers. And I know that sounds who

749
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: aren't and and I know that sound shitty, but let

750
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: me explain why it's. I find it easier making friends

751
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 1: who are entertainers because I'm not worried that they're going

752
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 1: to tell somebody something that entertainers. No, you're not meant

753
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: to stay to the wrong person, and they don't have

754
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: anything to benefit from me. Most of the people who

755
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: are my close friends who are famous are much more

756
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: famous than I could ever be. And I know that

757
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: they know I need nothing from them, they need nothing

758
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: from me, and that balance makes me really comfortable. Whereas

759
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: if somebody knew and I tried with the first couple

760
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 1: of years, not that I tried, Actually it just came

761
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: to me. People I would meet at my gym, I

762
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 1: would go out for coffee with them, and that eventually

763
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: there was an ask for something like, oh god, I

764
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: really thought that this was just real, and then you

765
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: wanted this or this or this that you wouldn't have

766
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: expected from anyone who wasn't an entertainer and so as

767
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: shitty as it might sound to most people out there,

768
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 1: thinking oh he's gotten so high and mighty, you won't

769
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 1: make friends with real people anymore, that's not the case.

770
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: It just it's easier and I feel safer when it's

771
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: somebody I know that doesn't need anything from me.

772
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 2: Do you experience also, Yeah, I've you know, my my

773
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 2: OG friends from school or from when I was really young.

774
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,760
Speaker 2: Every time we have a new person that I'm someone

775
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,800
Speaker 2: who I love making friends with me, I love building

776
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 2: community and so but for them, every time they see

777
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: someone trying to be friends with me or coming back

778
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 2: into my DMS like someone that I had had a

779
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 2: fight with and they're messaging me again, I always am like,

780
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 2: you know what, that's so nice. And I think I

781
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 2: also have this feeling of wanting to be accepted by

782
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 2: people from my past that like, oh, this girl that

783
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 2: really didn't like me, now she's messaging me, Let me

784
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 2: go off for coffee with her for what reason? But

785
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: like it does go through my head to do that.

786
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 2: I think I have people pleasing mentality anyway, But I

787
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 2: do find that the first point of thought for my

788
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 2: family and friends. As protection is, are you sure they

789
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 2: want to be your friend? But I used to then

790
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 2: stop myself from engaging with people because that thought was

791
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 2: coming into my mind too often, and so I made

792
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 2: a decision that, like I would give everyone the benefit

793
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 2: of doubt. And this has scarred me a little bit.

794
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 2: But give everyone the benefit of doubt until the point

795
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 2: where they realize they can't get anything from me, and

796
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: then they will fall off. And that's a lot of investment,

797
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 2: for sure. It's a lot of investment, and it's definitely

798
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 2: burned me a fair few times. But it shows up

799
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 2: even if you don't see in the first meeting or

800
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 2: the second being in some way, it will show up.

801
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: And so yes, eventually it will boil down to a few.

802
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 2: And it is the people that you can relate to.

803
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 2: It's the people who get that. You know, when you're

804
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 2: talking about having a hard day and you're an entertainer,

805
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 2: people be like, you do not have a hard day.

806
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: Whereas when you have people in your own circle or

807
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 2: with people who have the same it's the same as

808
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 2: a doctor. Like if a doctor is friends with the doctor,

809
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 2: they know what the night shifts are like, they how

810
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 2: hard it is. To, you know, lose a patient. They

811
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 2: understand it because you've been through it, and so you

812
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,439
Speaker 2: always want to be around people that have also been

813
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: through what you've been through and can understand the circumstance

814
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 2: that you're in.

815
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 1: So it's not like carry pick really is.

816
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 2: It's just who can you relate to? You can understand

817
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 2: that I've had a twelve hour shoot and I am exhausted,

818
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 2: and I can message and they won't judge me for

819
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 2: saying I'm exhausted for it.

820
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, And who can I trust? And I'm not talking

821
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 1: about who can I trust to not sell a story,

822
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: it's who can I trust in those deepest, darkest moments

823
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: at night when they're at my home And I like

824
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,439
Speaker 1: to have people come visit and stay at my home,

825
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 1: and when they come, I know that they're not going

826
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: to jose the fact that I haven't done my hair,

827
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: I haven't put nice clothes on. I just want to be.

828
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: I just want to be as if I'm with my closest,

829
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: oldest friends, and that brings that gives me a sense

830
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 1: of comfort, and I trust that no one's ever going

831
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 1: to find out those deepest darkests. I already appreciate it.

832
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: Agree and I think, you know, that's it, You've hit

833
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 2: the nail and head. It's trust, like if you can

834
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 2: build trust within a relationship. And I think the reciprocation

835
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 2: is interesting. I always thought about that because I have

836
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 2: been a friend who's always wanted to just pour in.

837
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: And I think it's because I used to get a

838
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 2: lot of value from other people's need of me in

839
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 2: their life, and so I feel through that I would

840
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 2: just give and give and give because I felt that

841
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 2: is my value in their life, whether it was friends

842
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 2: or family. But then I realized, and I used to think,

843
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 2: you know what, No, but that's just part of it.

844
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 2: If you love someone, you just keep giving. But reciprocation

845
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 2: is such an integral part of love. It's part of

846
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 2: like you have to have a loving exchange, you fuel

847
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: each other. It's part of the love cycle. It doesn't

848
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 2: have to be in the same way or even to

849
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,719
Speaker 2: the same capacity, because we're all different and need different things,

850
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 2: but the reciprocation has to be there. And so I

851
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 2: think I've started redefining what I see friendship to be

852
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 2: versus It's just if I like them, then that's it,

853
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 2: and we can hang out and we can spend time together.

854
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 1: And friendships can be really different. I mean, I've got

855
00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: friends who I will text every couple of days. But

856
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: then I've got friends who I'll see at parties, and

857
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: some might call them acquaintances, but I love them deeply.

858
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you an example. I love Foreigner.

859
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: I consider her a good friend. Do I text her

860
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 1: more than once every three months? No, But every time

861
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: I see her, she is the person I She's the

862
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 1: person I go right to a party, regardless of who

863
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: else is there. She's my girl. And so there's different

864
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 1: for me. There's different levels of the friendship, but it's

865
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 1: not that one is better than the other. I just

866
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 1: experienced them differently, and I like that I have different

867
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: versions of friends. Yeah, now I have to tell you

868
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,320
Speaker 1: this at really so whenever I say to somebody remind

869
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 1: me of something, it's just my way trying to remember

870
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: that thing.

871
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:40,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

872
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 1: So, when I got the show, I didn't tell So

873
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 1: I didn't tell my family at all until the show

874
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: came out, which was not a good idea. But I

875
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 1: was already worried about how they would feel about it.

876
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: I thought, they're, well, they're going to be pissed, and

877
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: they were, and so I didn't tell anyone, And so

878
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 1: I went to England for what I thought was given

879
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: my last visit where I would ever see my family again,

880
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 1: and dramatic and I kept crying and no one understood why.

881
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: But anyway, and one of those evenings I was with

882
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: my extended family. My family's the kind of family where

883
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: it's not just my immediate family, it's also cousins aunts.

884
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: Of course we're close and I love them, And so

885
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: there were probably forty of us in a room just

886
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 1: and we sat on the floor, we chitchat and we

887
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: were talking Weirdly. Celebrity came up and they were saying, well,

888
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: the only way people get famous is by joining the Illuminati.

889
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know if that's true. Well, no,

890
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: that's the only way you can get on TV or

891
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: in a movie. I was like, I don't know if

892
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: that's true. And only one person, my sweet cousin who

893
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: I'm story close to. She she looked over and she

894
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, one day they're going to

895
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: think that you joined the Illuminati. Then the show came

896
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: out and the first question I got was, did you know?

897
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what that means. I don't know

898
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: if anyone is that, and they truly like still to

899
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 1: this day. I had some cousins come out literally two

900
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: weeks ago and one of them very calmly, like two

901
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 1: in the morning, I sleep by ten. This was very late.

902
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,720
Speaker 1: We say up what We were just having a giggle

903
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 1: and a gossip and talking about family. And then finally

904
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,760
Speaker 1: she turned and she said, can I ask you something

905
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 1: really personal? I was like, yeah, of course, again we've

906
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: known to the brother. Did you like, did you do

907
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 1: anything with the Illuminati?

908
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: Was?

909
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,359
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is? No idiot, I would

910
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 1: tell you I don't.

911
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 2: Know what that so many times it's so funny. I

912
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: don't know whether it's just a UK thing and made

913
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 2: it there and it stuck with us, but it was

914
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 2: definitely a thing.

915
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 1: They do something with them.

916
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: There's YouTube videos about all the like celebrities.

917
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 1: And I was like, so they were like, no, Beyonce

918
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: does this, and like, I think it's because she's part

919
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 1: of rock Nation. I think that that's their locos. I

920
00:44:56,800 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: don't think she's doing a devil sized I've seen.

921
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 2: I've heard so many there's a rabbit hole that you

922
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 2: can go into. I know, yeah, don't go down, you

923
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 2: might't believe you are actually part of it.

924
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes I have to question myself, thinking did I agree

925
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: to something? Apparently they say you just have to think it.

926
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, did I once think that as a teenager

927
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:17,439
Speaker 1: because I used to want to be a pop star,

928
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: I used to want to be Britain. I'm like, oh,

929
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: one day, God just make me Britain. And so I

930
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 1: just like, did I subconsciously agree with the devil that

931
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 1: this was how my life was going to go?

932
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 2: That's a really great story there. I feel I can

933
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 2: really relate to that because I've heard that a few times.

934
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 1: So domb And I'm assuming you're family at some point

935
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 1: and thought it. Believe me, everybody they are.

936
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: We signed some sort of contract we all did. I

937
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,399
Speaker 2: wanted to ask you about your confidence because going from

938
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 2: someone who obviously was quite shy and we shy growing up, yeah,

939
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 2: shy growing up, and then to be the person you

940
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 2: are now, it's not just a jump that happens other

941
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 2: things for people who you can recommend that you've done

942
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,720
Speaker 2: to really help work through the difficult parts of yourself

943
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 2: that you have to accept, plus just showing up as yourself.

944
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 2: It sounds like such an easy thing to do, right,

945
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 2: like just be yourself not but it is so difficult,

946
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 2: and for you it's you know, for what you've been through,

947
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 2: it's even more difficult. How can someone do that?

948
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: So there was the first time I ever cried on Queer.

949
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: I was I think episode sorry, not episode season three

950
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 1: or four. We have lost track, but three or four.

951
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 1: This man in a wheelchairs name is Wesley, who he loved.

952
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: He asked me during our scene, where do you get

953
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:30,879
Speaker 1: your confidence from?

954
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 2: You?

955
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: The most confident person I've met? And I just started

956
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 1: to cry because I was like, I'm not. I would

957
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: never ever have considered myself a confident person. And to

958
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: highlight this, I went to an awards ceremony a couple

959
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: of days ago to present my friend with an Icon award,

960
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 1: and I went to the party alone. I typically go

961
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 1: places alone. My husband doesn't like to be part of

962
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: this celebrity life which I love and respect so much,

963
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: and so I typically go alone. And I do this

964
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 1: almost every time I go to an event. I call

965
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 1: him from the car staying, I'm just gonna go home,

966
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: even though I'm in my outfit, I've gotten ready, I'm

967
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: just gonna go home. I'm really nervous, like I'm no

968
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 1: one's gonna talk to me, and if they and if

969
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 1: I walk into my own they're gonna judge me. I'm

970
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: gonna go home. And he's always the one who has

971
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 1: to say, You've got nothing to be shy about, embarrassed about.

972
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: People care you. Whenever you go to a party, you

973
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: find somebody that you can relate to, don't worry about it.

974
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,959
Speaker 1: But he has to talk me off the ledge every time.

975
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 1: And I watch in this party and I was so

976
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: nervous and there was no pr person, and I started

977
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: to feel the panic, thinking, oh my gosh, I don't

978
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: belong here. Everyone else is cool and famous and I'm

979
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: just tan, like I'm just I revert back to Yorkshire town,

980
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 1: who no one wants to hang out with. And I

981
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: feel that every time. And I've been in this for

982
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,800
Speaker 1: quite a few years now, where E is one every

983
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: Emmy that you could, where I made history, one more

984
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 1: Emmys than any other one, any of the show in

985
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 1: nounscripted in history. Yet I still can't go into a

986
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 1: room and not panic that people don't think I'm worthy

987
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: of being there. And so the illusion of confidence. I

988
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 1: wish I could give advice I'm not that confident person

989
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 1: that people believe that. I'm just not. But I will

990
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 1: say that in myself and in my own circle to

991
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: people that I'm close with. I am confident in those

992
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 1: spaces because I've worked on myself for so many years.

993
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: And when I say that, I mean every time I

994
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 1: hear criticism, I just think what can I do differently

995
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 1: to make sure that no one sees that? But I

996
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 1: also don't display that because that's not I'm not that person,

997
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 1: and so I've worked on that back of a long time.

998
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: Or even if I am that person, even if they

999
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: do hate the fact that I'm brown, I'm queer, I'm

1000
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,320
Speaker 1: all those things, how do I reconcile that in myself

1001
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 1: and accept that that's their problem, not mine. So in

1002
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 1: those spaces where I really know people, I feel really

1003
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,720
Speaker 1: good and confident, and I feel like when my friends

1004
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 1: are all in a room, I am the loudest one.

1005
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 1: I am one who is the host of that room.

1006
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: But that's only with people I feel safe with.

1007
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 2: I was asking for myself too, because I can completely

1008
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 2: relate to that, because I think for me, I've always

1009
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 2: found it difficult walking into rooms. I always need someone

1010
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 2: walking in front of me or beside me. I found

1011
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:17,319
Speaker 2: that so hard.

1012
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to cut you off, but I need to

1013
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,479
Speaker 1: give you an example of yes view. The first time

1014
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 1: I saw you, I think it was the first time

1015
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 1: we I think it was the first time I saw you.

1016
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:26,919
Speaker 1: It was the first time we spoke, but I don't

1017
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: think i'd seen you at another event before then. It

1018
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 1: was Balbajaria and it was just like a gathering of

1019
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 1: South Asians in Hollywood. And you walked into the room

1020
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 1: and I saw you, and I knew immediately that you

1021
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: felt the same way I did. But I could see

1022
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 1: the nerves on your Basically, you were just looking for

1023
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 1: someone you might know to talk to. And I knew

1024
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: it the moment I saw you walk and I was like, Oh,

1025
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:50,879
Speaker 1: she's bricking it too.

1026
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 2: I was, and I always do, and usually I find

1027
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 2: my way to the bathroom first, and I spent about

1028
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 2: twenty minutes in there, especially if I'm going somewhere alone,

1029
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 2: because that day, no one was coming with me, and

1030
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 2: no one I knew was actually no one I knew

1031
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 2: very well was going. And I think mine comes from

1032
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 2: and I've been reflecting on this a lot. I think

1033
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 2: I came into all of this through j And for me,

1034
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 2: the not feeling, not feeling accepted in a room is

1035
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 2: like I'm just here because they want him here, or

1036
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 2: I'm just here because they've invited me on top of

1037
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 2: this person. And I think I struggle that and that's

1038
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 2: why i'm this. I feel very similar to your husband,

1039
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 2: where I'm like, I don't want to be invited. I

1040
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 2: don't feel the necessity to go anywhere unless this for

1041
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:35,280
Speaker 2: a reason. So if I'm just coming as because you're invited,

1042
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:36,359
Speaker 2: and I'm invited on.

1043
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: Top, that's why my husband goes for nothing else.

1044
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's not because I have an ego, But

1045
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 2: I've been trying to really break it down because I

1046
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,839
Speaker 2: think for many people, we have this imposter syndrome that

1047
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 2: comes upon us. And I definitely have felt that because

1048
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 2: fame was never something I desired ever growing up. It

1049
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 2: was never something for myself. It was never ever something

1050
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 2: I was a dietician in a hospital, and that's how

1051
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 2: I really want That's how I never saw myself and

1052
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 2: that I never saw a start on TV and thought

1053
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 2: I want to be that the.

1054
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: Only person who said that everyone you.

1055
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 2: I wanted to treat children like that's literally what I

1056
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:10,840
Speaker 2: wanted to do, and you want to work with kids,

1057
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 2: and I think it's beautiful, and what the effect that

1058
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 2: you can have as being someone who can can have

1059
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 2: an incredible community, Like that's incredible. But there was never

1060
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 2: something I desired, and so when it came to me,

1061
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 2: I felt ungrateful for feeling like that. So I was like,

1062
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 2: I have to accept it, and I want to. I

1063
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 2: want to embrace it and see what I can do

1064
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:31,839
Speaker 2: with it. But I still feel the feeling of I've

1065
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 2: come into this because of someone else, and so walking

1066
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 2: into a room has always been difficult for me for

1067
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 2: that reason, and I think that's something I'm still working on.

1068
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 2: So the confidence, the lack of confidence is, oh, she's

1069
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 2: here because of this, or she's online doing this because

1070
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: of her husband.

1071
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: And so how do you reconcile that.

1072
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 2: I think I'm still working on it. Honestly, I keep

1073
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 2: reminding myself that I I'll tell you how I did

1074
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 2: start to reconcile it. I was like, I know they're

1075
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 2: coming to my page, and I know they're coming here

1076
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 2: because of Jay, which is amazing because he's incredible, But

1077
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 2: at the same time, let me be of value that

1078
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 2: I am providing something to their life that is benefiting them.

1079
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,479
Speaker 2: And if I know what I'm giving is giving either

1080
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 2: joy or wellness or sharing something that's going to change

1081
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 2: their life as it has mine, whether it's my spiritual

1082
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 2: practices or whatever it is, then at least I know

1083
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 2: I've added value to their life. So I think I've

1084
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 2: reconciled it in my mind. And I shift between this,

1085
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 2: I mean on a weekly basis where I'm like, I

1086
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 2: think I should just shut down my Instagram and just

1087
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 2: not We do that all the time, and I think

1088
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:37,760
Speaker 2: I keep reminding myself that whether it is five people,

1089
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 2: whether it is two million or five million, whatever it is,

1090
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 2: you have this amazing ability to shift someone's perspective or

1091
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 2: to touch their heart in some way, or the messages

1092
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 2: where you get you've saved my life, like whatever those

1093
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 2: little things are. I remind myself of how grateful I

1094
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 2: am to be in that position, but then remind myself

1095
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 2: that that means there's a duty to keep learning, keep

1096
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 2: sharing and sharing things of value, and so yeah, I

1097
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,399
Speaker 2: think that's how I do it, but I still find

1098
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,320
Speaker 2: it really difficult.

1099
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 1: You know, the social media component that you just mentioned

1100
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 1: is really important for me. I experienced the same thing.

1101
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 1: So often I just think, Okay, I'm on TV and

1102
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 1: that should be the thing that I do. I don't

1103
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 1: need to. I mean, technically, I do need to be

1104
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: on social It's part of the contract that I have

1105
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: to post my show, post about the shows. However, I

1106
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 1: have thought many times I just want to shut it down.

1107
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 1: I want to go against my contract and I want to

1108
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 1: shut it down and say, Okay, if you don't want

1109
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: me just because I'm not on social media, then so

1110
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 1: be it. There was some drama a couple of weeks

1111
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 1: ago and I was like, Okay, that's it. I'm done,

1112
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 1: Like I'm done with social I'm done with being an entertainer.

1113
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to quit it all. And I was talking

1114
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 1: about it. I I cried a lot lately, and I

1115
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,759
Speaker 1: talked to Oh my God a lot, and we'll talk

1116
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: about that after this. This is not I won't talk

1117
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: on this publicly, but I spoke to my husband about it,

1118
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 1: and I was like, I think I think we're done.

1119
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: We've got everything we could ever need. I would like

1120
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 1: to believe we're not greedy people. We have our home,

1121
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,240
Speaker 1: we have our kids, We've got enough money to provide

1122
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:11,359
Speaker 1: for our kids a comfortable life, not a fancy life

1123
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 1: in the future if we stopped working now, but a

1124
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 1: comfortable life. And I was like, wait, my husband and

1125
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: I both come from very poor families. This is amazing

1126
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 1: what we've achieved. His next level, like, we don't need

1127
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: to do anymore. And I was saying, I'm ready to

1128
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 1: walk away from entertainment, and he reminded me of why

1129
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 1: I did this in the first place, and he was like,

1130
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 1: can I know that so many people are acting like

1131
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: they hate you right now and that you're the devil.

1132
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: Look at all those positive people are positive comments, and

1133
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 1: the people who truly do look to you as a

1134
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 1: shining light, a north staff for them, like if he

1135
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 1: can do it, I can do it. I came from nothing.

1136
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 1: He came from nothing, Like if he can do it,

1137
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 1: we can do it. And it is I hate to

1138
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: sometimes let the haters win, but sometimes they do with me.

1139
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: It's so much loud, Oh my gosh. And so I'm

1140
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,440
Speaker 1: glad that that moment is over and I feel stronger again.

1141
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: And when we talk about confidence, I've now gotten the

1142
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: confidence in this space, not a social space, to be

1143
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: able to say I have I'm offering added value to

1144
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 1: the people who are looking at my insta or the

1145
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 1: people who watching the show. Yeah, some people may hate me,

1146
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: but even if it's just a few people out there

1147
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 1: who are like, god, I love that I'm finally being

1148
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 1: seen because that person is offering me that that's okay.

1149
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 2: It is. It's a difficult space to be in because

1150
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 2: and I think for anybody that ends up listening to this,

1151
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 2: it could end up sounding like we're like, oh, you

1152
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 2: know what, social media is so hard and our life

1153
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 2: is so hard, and this is difficult for people to

1154
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 2: be watching us. And what people don't realize is you.

1155
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 2: As much as everybody's duty is in their job to

1156
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 2: do different things, social media is also part of a

1157
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: duty and a job too where you take that on. So, yes,

1158
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 2: you can accept the hate and you can accept I

1159
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 2: accept that people will not like me. That is something

1160
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 2: I will accept. I will accept that people will have

1161
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 2: an opinion. But what I find difficult to accept is

1162
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 2: the level to which people take their criticism and their abuse.

1163
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:17,399
Speaker 2: That goes with people, And by the way, that's not

1164
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 2: just with people who are public figures. That's with bullying,

1165
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,800
Speaker 2: that's with anybody behind the screen who is sharing something

1166
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 2: with people who don't even have followers. That really impacts

1167
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 2: people's lives. And I think we forget the energetic value

1168
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 2: and how much words and actions that we take affect

1169
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,799
Speaker 2: people because we're doing it behind the screen, But we

1170
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 2: forget that every single word, every single action carries a

1171
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 2: ripport energy that is going throughout this world. And so

1172
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 2: when I think about why there ends up being so

1173
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 2: much hate, and when something happens, you know, whether it's

1174
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: around the world or whether it's with myself, you have

1175
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 2: a choice of either you can take that pain and

1176
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:58,799
Speaker 2: you share pain, or you can take that pain and

1177
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 2: you can support each other and being pain together, but

1178
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 2: love one another because we have the opportunity to do

1179
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 2: that one.

1180
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 1: Point that you touched on that I'm going to hell

1181
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,839
Speaker 1: on a lot of people who are like, oh, they're

1182
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: on social media, they're posting, they're entertainers, they've got a

1183
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 1: lot of followers, boohoo, like your tiny little violin, who cares?

1184
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 1: You're the most privileged people in the world. I'm like, Yeah,

1185
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that I still don't have a heart,

1186
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 1: I still don't have feelings. I wasn't born into weelth No,

1187
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: I wasn't I haven't had a privileged life. My life

1188
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 1: is very privileged. Now I get it, but I understand you.

1189
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:36,479
Speaker 1: I was that person. I was that very working class person.

1190
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 1: I was the person on the bus. I was a

1191
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: person in the call center. You think I don't know

1192
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 1: your life. I know your life. Yes, I'm in a

1193
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: different space now. It doesn't mean I lost my mind

1194
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 1: and I'm no longer a human. And I have to

1195
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 1: remind my family of that a lot to say. Just

1196
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 1: be you know. I had a friend who came to

1197
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 1: an event a couple of years ago, I wrote when

1198
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 1: I went on my book tour. She turned up to

1199
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 1: an event and it was somebody only from college. She

1200
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: came with one of my very best friends, and she

1201
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 1: walked through dough. She said, Hi, Danni's Kelly. I don't

1202
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: know if you remember me. And I was like, do

1203
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 1: you think i'dleer botomy? I became an entertainer. I didn't

1204
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 1: lose my mind. Of course. We were together for three years.

1205
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 1: I practically live Hou's you nott job Like, of course

1206
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 1: I remember who you are. And she was like, I'm

1207
00:58:19,800 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 1: so sorry. That was so silly. I was like, yeah,

1208
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm still the person you knew and so when people

1209
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 1: make those comments like, oh, they're upset that they're having

1210
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: a hard time from the public on social media, Yeah,

1211
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: I am upset that I'm getting a hard time because

1212
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: I am still that person, and I don't as much

1213
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 1: as I know, I'm not deluded. I know I'm an entertainer,

1214
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 1: I know I'm famous. I get it. However, I most

1215
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 1: of the time I do still feel just like Tanned

1216
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 1: from South Yorkshire. No, I don't. I would like to

1217
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 1: believe unless they're not. I would like to believe most

1218
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: of us aren't walking around our homes thinking I am

1219
00:58:56,800 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 1: famous people. No, not, Well, that's insane. Most of the

1220
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 1: time I forget and then I step out of my

1221
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: house and somebody will say hello, and I'm like, oh, yeah, duh.

1222
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 1: And so when you're pissy at us because we're moaning

1223
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 1: that we've had a hard time, you're allowed to moan

1224
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 1: about your job. Why can't moan about my job?

1225
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 2: Yeah? I really appreciate being able to share joy online,

1226
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 2: but I also find that when you do do that,

1227
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 2: and when you were saying that, people thought that you

1228
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 2: were fake with the way that you were acting in

1229
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 2: your smiliness and everything. It's hard because you want to

1230
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 2: show up as someone who is positive online because you

1231
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 2: want to be able to share that with the world.

1232
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 2: But then, of course you have your times where you're

1233
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 2: upset and I get messages that are like, how are

1234
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 2: you just happy all the time? It can't be and

1235
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm not. I cry all the time. I'm sad a

1236
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 2: lot of the time, Like what, But I want to

1237
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:53,360
Speaker 2: choose to I'm being mindful and practicing not just because

1238
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 2: of who I am, but practicing mindfulness in how I

1239
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 2: share myself with other people because of how it impacts it.

1240
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 2: And I think it just it's such a the way

1241
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 2: that we have the ability to affect the world, and

1242
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 2: not just if you're famous, if you have anybody in

1243
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 2: your life, you have this ability to either smile at

1244
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 2: someone or frown at them on the street. You have

1245
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 2: this ability to either share words with the person that's

1246
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 2: selling you something in a kind way, or you don't.

1247
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 2: Every single thing you're doing is impacting the kindness of

1248
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 2: the entire world, and I think that we forget how

1249
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: much of a difference it makes by our small little

1250
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:34,360
Speaker 2: actions and how big they can actually end up being collectively.

1251
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: The flip side, though, is when I am on social

1252
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 1: Not regularly I will, but often enough. I will post

1253
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 1: when I'm going through something. Yeah I'm not one for

1254
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 1: crying on camera that on the show, but when I'm

1255
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 1: going through something, oh gosh, especially when I had my kids,

1256
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: they were the hardest months of my life, those first

1257
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 1: few months of each respective child. And I shared that

1258
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 1: I wanted people to no, I'm not a mommy blogger.

1259
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm going to be in Chanel. My

1260
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,440
Speaker 1: daughter is in Chanelle and we look perfect. I'm not

1261
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 1: making a massive breakfast my kid. I'm knackered, like I'm tired.

1262
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,680
Speaker 1: I barely sept I've got a twelve hour shoot day.

1263
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:18,520
Speaker 1: I want people to know that, although yes, I'm a

1264
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 1: joyful person, I still have really hard times. Yeah, and

1265
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 1: I think that's really important for me to share with you.

1266
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely same. I think it is two and I

1267
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 2: think we all. I think there's this concept of wanting

1268
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 2: to worship something, but sometimes we end up worshiping It's

1269
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 2: like everyone wants to worship something, but be careful what

1270
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 2: you worship, and so we end up worshiping humans, and

1271
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 2: we end up worshiping idols that we see and instead

1272
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 2: of worship we can appreciate, but let's not worship and

1273
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 2: put people on pedestals that they're not asking to be on,

1274
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 2: or that they shouldn't be on in even your own

1275
01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 2: heart and mind, because it only leads to disappointment.

1276
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 1: And you suggesting they're infallible, and then when they do

1277
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:57,800
Speaker 1: fail inevitably because all of us do, they feel the

1278
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:00,200
Speaker 1: pressure so greatly because you've suggested.

1279
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 2: That in yeah, well, fun times. But also appreciate community

1280
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 2: online love because I feel like with every even though

1281
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: and you know what, Jay's taught me this a lot.

1282
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:14,600
Speaker 2: He gets a lot of hate, he has since the

1283
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:17,520
Speaker 2: moment he started, as most people do. But he always

1284
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 2: chooses to every time I come to him and I'm like,

1285
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 2: this has upset me that people are saying this about you,

1286
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:23,880
Speaker 2: or this is upset me that people are saying this

1287
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 2: about me or about this person or about that. He

1288
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 2: just says, if you allow the hate to be louder,

1289
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,360
Speaker 2: it will be louder. Like if you allow to only

1290
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 2: listen yourself to listen to that, you're always going to

1291
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 2: feel that way. So you have a choice every single

1292
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:37,840
Speaker 2: time you do.

1293
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 1: Ja It's easier said than.

1294
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 2: But he lives and he really does, and that's what

1295
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 2: he actually lives it. I'm like, aren't you upset that

1296
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 2: these people are saying this? And he's like no, because

1297
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 2: I've got all these other people who who are so

1298
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 2: appreciative and who love me and who actually care. And

1299
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, that is It's such a beautiful mindset.

1300
01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 2: I'm very difficult to have, very difficult, but to practice

1301
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 2: every single day to do that. And what you're saying

1302
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 2: about being grateful, I feel like you can feel the

1303
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:08,120
Speaker 2: using of gratitude through you every single day. But again,

1304
01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:10,320
Speaker 2: that's a practice and I've had to do that too,

1305
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 2: where I have negative thoughts that come into my mind constantly,

1306
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,240
Speaker 2: but at least I try. I'm like, you know what,

1307
01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 2: I look in the mirror and I'll be like, this

1308
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:20,480
Speaker 2: doesn't look that great, But at least I'm walking today.

1309
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 2: I try and balance at some point.

1310
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

1311
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 2: Even if you're not able to stay positive one hundred

1312
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,880
Speaker 2: percent of the home, which no one can, at least

1313
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 2: try and have a balancing effect on your mind.

1314
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:34,080
Speaker 1: I try, I really do. This is so American, but

1315
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 1: I try to offer myself positive affirmations every day.

1316
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 2: Can you give me one that you like?

1317
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:44,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, it's a practice that I've been doing first actually,

1318
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:48,280
Speaker 1: so the show came out and a lot of not

1319
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 1: so nice comments about me. When you are in a

1320
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 1: boy bad or a girl group, people are gonna pit

1321
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 1: you against each other. Oh for sure, They're going to

1322
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 1: rank you. Who's the heart one, who's the most vocable one,

1323
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 1: who's the dog of the group. And I was like,

1324
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 1: oh yay, I love that you all put me at

1325
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 1: the bottom of the list for every damn list. And

1326
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 1: so it really really affected me. The first few months

1327
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 1: really affected me, and so I tried to do I

1328
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 1: tried to just one morning, I was like, what do

1329
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:20,440
Speaker 1: I like about myself? Forget what everybody else is commenting

1330
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,320
Speaker 1: on about me? What do I like about myself? And

1331
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,080
Speaker 1: then after and I felt better that day, and I

1332
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to do this every day. So

1333
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 1: every day when I'm brushing my teeth in the morning,

1334
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 1: I tell myself the things I like about me. And

1335
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Yes sometimes there is.

1336
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,360
Speaker 1: I always say I'm grateful for my hair, so grateful

1337
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:42,080
Speaker 1: love my hair, my hair, But everything else is personality

1338
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,920
Speaker 1: traits that I'm grateful for. Yes, sometimes I'm sassy, but

1339
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,720
Speaker 1: I like that about me. If someone throws shade my way,

1340
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 1: I'm the first one to throw it back, and I

1341
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 1: like that about me. If I see in justice, on

1342
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:52,880
Speaker 1: the first one to say, no, bitch, you can't do that.

1343
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:55,640
Speaker 1: And I like that about me. And so I just think,

1344
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:59,400
Speaker 1: why should Why shouldn't I appreciate the things that I

1345
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 1: think of our people? People We're gonna get knocked down

1346
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 1: all day every day I do all day every day

1347
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,840
Speaker 1: on social media. I just think, Okay, you think that,

1348
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 1: But I know I started my day knowing for a

1349
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 1: fact that these things about me are good.

1350
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think when you can stay solid in

1351
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 2: your own value for yourself, it can stop anybody else

1352
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 2: penetrating your mind about you. But I do think that

1353
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:25,920
Speaker 2: gratitude practice has to be in place, and it has

1354
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 2: to be a daily thing, because if you don't feel

1355
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,160
Speaker 2: gratitude for yourself, you can't expect other people to even

1356
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 2: feel gratitude for you because you don't feel it. And

1357
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:34,919
Speaker 2: what you give out is what everybody else is gonna

1358
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 2: you're gonna receive back to you. It's just the energetic

1359
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 2: way that the world works. And so making sure that

1360
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 2: you're taking that time to do that for yourself is

1361
01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 2: so important.

1362
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 1: You know, when you get a server or a customer

1363
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 1: service process, it's just vestable. I used to work in

1364
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: customer service. I did it for years. I worked at

1365
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,320
Speaker 1: a course and for years I worked in retail. For years,

1366
01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 1: I eat no matter how bad my day was, what

1367
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 1: was going on in my life, I just thought, that's

1368
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 1: not their fault. Yeah, I'm just gonna suck it up

1369
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:06,920
Speaker 1: and say please and thank you. If nothing else my

1370
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 1: please and thank you. So when someone even now, and

1371
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 1: I try really hard to beat Tan France all the time,

1372
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 1: but sometimes he turns after and Tan Saft does rough

1373
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,840
Speaker 1: and I can't let him go sometimes. But yeah, when

1374
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 1: someone's rude. My husband finds it very funny that even

1375
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:24,760
Speaker 1: still I can't not handle that situation. But I do

1376
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:27,520
Speaker 1: it in a very pleasant way. I will say, if

1377
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 1: someone's just giving the worst service.

1378
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:29,800
Speaker 2: You're right, mart.

1379
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 1: I will always say, oh sorry, have I done something

1380
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 1: to offend you? And it's the way now that I

1381
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 1: deal with it, because then it makes it very clear

1382
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 1: to the person you're behaving wildly inappropriately, and thankfully it

1383
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:44,440
Speaker 1: seems to stop them in the tracks and like, oh no, sorry,

1384
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 1: I'm doing this where I'm going through a bad day. Okay,

1385
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry, going through a bad day. Let's work

1386
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:52,439
Speaker 1: through this. Let's get this done together yet, and then

1387
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: we can be done. It's such a nice way to

1388
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:58,840
Speaker 1: counterbalance someone's shitty behavior. Have I done something to offend.

1389
01:06:58,520 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to use that from now on? Have I

1390
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:01,760
Speaker 2: done something to offend you?

1391
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 1: Because I make it really clear. I know I'm not

1392
01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:06,200
Speaker 1: doing anything to you. I've said hi, I've asked you

1393
01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 1: how your day was, and you're like, what can I

1394
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: get you? It's something wrong?

1395
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 2: Yes, it's something wrong. Are you okay? And I think

1396
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,440
Speaker 2: asking it from a genuine perspective as well, because it

1397
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,959
Speaker 2: helps them to reflect on how they're feeling.

1398
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:20,160
Speaker 1: And also being self aware, thinking shit, maybe I did

1399
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:20,640
Speaker 1: do something.

1400
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1401
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 1: But if that thing that is offensive is that I'm

1402
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 1: brown and gate, I can't then I can't help you.

1403
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,320
Speaker 1: That's your problem.

1404
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 2: We're fab I have some rapid fire questions for Okay,

1405
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,440
Speaker 2: what are you reading right now? If anything?

1406
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this sounds so lame.

1407
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 2: Please tell me. I need to know.

1408
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 1: It's the Hunger Games, that the one that's about to

1409
01:07:43,120 --> 01:07:45,920
Speaker 1: come out. I forgot what it's called. Ballad of Snakes

1410
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:46,360
Speaker 1: and something.

1411
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:47,800
Speaker 2: I love Hunger Games.

1412
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: I love that. I know it's a teenager's book, but

1413
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 1: me and my sister loved it so many times. And

1414
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:56,240
Speaker 1: now I'm reading the prequel so I can watch.

1415
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,400
Speaker 2: The movie and if you don't, okay, I need to

1416
01:07:57,400 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 2: do that because I absolutely love Hunger Game. I'm so

1417
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 2: excited for it be coming out.

1418
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:02,920
Speaker 1: I can't believe that they've gotten you when i've you

1419
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:03,520
Speaker 1: know me too?

1420
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:07,320
Speaker 2: Okay? Great, something you value now that you didn't before.

1421
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:10,040
Speaker 1: My brown skin. I'm not even kidding. I think it's

1422
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 1: beautiful and I'm so grateful for it. And part of

1423
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 1: the reason why I know this is rapid fire, but

1424
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 1: partly is because I see my brown kids and I

1425
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:19,280
Speaker 1: just think you are gorgeous and I feel no shame

1426
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:20,960
Speaker 1: in that my kids are brown, and I love that.

1427
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 2: Can I tell us your Tan France?

1428
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:23,600
Speaker 1: Now? What we do?

1429
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,560
Speaker 2: Your name before? Okay? And how did you This is

1430
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,240
Speaker 2: a part of my rapid fire. But how did you

1431
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:30,680
Speaker 2: decide whether you take your husband's name or the other

1432
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:33,240
Speaker 2: way around? I need to know because it's illegally.

1433
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:37,640
Speaker 1: Actually legally, we both are. I'm Tan saft France. His

1434
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,400
Speaker 1: rob safter Frances we just talked to each other.

1435
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,879
Speaker 2: Oh lovely. Okay, that's a nice that's a nice balance.

1436
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:44,680
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of Indian society needs to

1437
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:48,040
Speaker 2: learn that, I know something you used to value but

1438
01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:48,879
Speaker 2: don't anymore.

1439
01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:58,759
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, that's a good one. Being the most popular.

1440
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:01,040
Speaker 1: I used to think it was so important and I

1441
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:03,200
Speaker 1: was desperate for it as a kid. Yeah, and now

1442
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:06,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. Also being cool, yes, oh my god,

1443
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 1: I wanted to be cool. I was so not cool.

1444
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:12,080
Speaker 1: I was so I was deep because I wasn't smart,

1445
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 1: but I was just not cool. And even now, somebody

1446
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:20,200
Speaker 1: called me my husband recently and I was like, I'm

1447
01:09:20,240 --> 01:09:23,479
Speaker 1: not and I don't care that. I've got much bigger

1448
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:25,360
Speaker 1: issues than being cool. That's it.

1449
01:09:25,479 --> 01:09:28,680
Speaker 2: I was thinking about mine for this one, and I

1450
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:32,840
Speaker 2: think it's being young in the sense of chasing youth

1451
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 2: is no longer something that I and it's something that

1452
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:37,320
Speaker 2: I'm actively trying not to do.

1453
01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:39,680
Speaker 1: I wish I was there with you, and it's just

1454
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:43,280
Speaker 1: because of my kids. I really miss oh, I really

1455
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:47,360
Speaker 1: missed a non achy back like I was so active,

1456
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,320
Speaker 1: and I really miss just not having needs at a

1457
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:50,200
Speaker 1: dodgy Yes.

1458
01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 2: No, So I think physically I think I was thinking

1459
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:54,799
Speaker 2: a bit more from living in LA from an esthetic

1460
01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:57,479
Speaker 2: point of Oh yeah, chasing youth is something that I'm

1461
01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:00,280
Speaker 2: really working on not doing because I think it's it's

1462
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 2: it's a recipe for failure to constantly keep chasing.

1463
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:08,160
Speaker 1: However, I'm sorry I have to combat this. Please. I

1464
01:10:08,200 --> 01:10:11,280
Speaker 1: think that you come from a place of privilege, which

1465
01:10:11,320 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 1: is why you get to say that you are, as

1466
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,960
Speaker 1: I say in my culture, Marshella beautiful. But also you

1467
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,760
Speaker 1: have brown skin that doesn't age the way white skin.

1468
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 1: We are lucky. And this is not a dig at

1469
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:24,519
Speaker 1: white folks. We are lucky. We are privileged that we

1470
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:26,880
Speaker 1: have brown skin that doesn't age the way there's does it.

1471
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:29,320
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that they shouldn't celebrate the fact

1472
01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:32,640
Speaker 1: that they are aging, and they should celebrate that they

1473
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:34,960
Speaker 1: had their youth and now they've moved on. That's wonderful.

1474
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:38,960
Speaker 1: But we have the luxury of skin that doesn't age.

1475
01:10:38,960 --> 01:10:43,320
Speaker 2: Asks get fine one to be fair current fashion trend.

1476
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:45,360
Speaker 2: No knows that you're seeing, This.

1477
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 1: Is my honest answer. There really aren't no knows. Everyone.

1478
01:10:48,560 --> 01:10:49,639
Speaker 1: If you can make it.

1479
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:51,720
Speaker 2: Work, you've seen something for you, you know what I mean.

1480
01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:54,880
Speaker 1: There's always crocks, for sure, there's always crocks or like,

1481
01:10:54,920 --> 01:10:56,760
Speaker 1: I hate them so much and I don't care if

1482
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,080
Speaker 1: Valencia I got a good I don't get who collapsed

1483
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:03,040
Speaker 1: away ugly, but almost even if it's something that I

1484
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:06,400
Speaker 1: wouldn't wear, if somebody's wearing it and they've started out

1485
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:08,120
Speaker 1: of like, you look wicked, I wouldn't wear it, but

1486
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:08,799
Speaker 1: you look wicked.

1487
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:12,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, But no crops. Okay, people, no crocs. You have

1488
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 2: such amazing skin. Talking about skin, that's nice, brilliant skin,

1489
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 2: and I think a lot of men could really benefit

1490
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:20,080
Speaker 2: from knowing what your skincare routine is.

1491
01:11:20,240 --> 01:11:22,760
Speaker 1: Okay, me with it. I love talking about this. I'm

1492
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:23,559
Speaker 1: so glad you asked.

1493
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:25,960
Speaker 2: Okay, including Ja, he's looking for a new skin care routine.

1494
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:29,160
Speaker 1: So I'm going to I'm going to give you something

1495
01:11:29,200 --> 01:11:33,400
Speaker 1: that is so, in my opinion, incredible, and it's a

1496
01:11:33,439 --> 01:11:37,120
Speaker 1: homemade remedy, so easy. Fire a yogurt or just any yogurt,

1497
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 1: not Greek yagat, really sick. So you get a cop

1498
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:43,600
Speaker 1: of that and then a green tea tea bag. I

1499
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:45,680
Speaker 1: use Taso used what evergreen tea you want it, don't care.

1500
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:49,080
Speaker 1: Steep the tea bag for a minute. In boiling water

1501
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,720
Speaker 1: just to soften up the leaves. Leaves, take take them

1502
01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,960
Speaker 1: out of the tea bag and put them in the yogurt.

1503
01:11:55,080 --> 01:11:57,800
Speaker 1: Mix it up. Keep it there for five minutes or so.

1504
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:02,519
Speaker 1: Put as watch on as you're on your face, as

1505
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:05,200
Speaker 1: where you can't see your skin anymore. So obviously around

1506
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 1: your eyes. Don't put it around you Ryse, but everybody else,

1507
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:08,880
Speaker 1: but as if you were miss doubt. You know that's yeah,

1508
01:12:09,240 --> 01:12:12,320
Speaker 1: love is that vire, that level of thickness on your face.

1509
01:12:12,520 --> 01:12:14,760
Speaker 1: Keep it on for I keep it on fifteen twenty minutes.

1510
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:16,920
Speaker 1: Because I don't have really sensitive skin. Some people say

1511
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:18,879
Speaker 1: that they can only put it on five ten minutes. Great,

1512
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:22,439
Speaker 1: do that once or twice a week. It is gonna change.

1513
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:23,559
Speaker 2: I need to do it.

1514
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,879
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I've been doing this since I was twenty,

1515
01:12:25,920 --> 01:12:27,760
Speaker 1: and I think it's the reason why I don't break

1516
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:30,040
Speaker 1: out very often and why I have somewhat youthful skin.

1517
01:12:30,120 --> 01:12:32,759
Speaker 1: I have forty, and I think my skin's pretty solid

1518
01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:33,479
Speaker 1: for a forty old.

1519
01:12:33,479 --> 01:12:35,720
Speaker 2: Really is any of the products that you use the.

1520
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a couple of one. So my face cleanser

1521
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:40,519
Speaker 1: is a brand called Tata Harp. I'm not sponsored by

1522
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:43,519
Speaker 1: these comples anyway. Tatar Harper their face walk cleanser I

1523
01:12:43,520 --> 01:12:45,680
Speaker 1: think is the best. It's all natural and it's incredible,

1524
01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:49,160
Speaker 1: happen love. And then my couple of face creams, the

1525
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,040
Speaker 1: Quench by a company called Beauty Bio. That's the cream

1526
01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:54,320
Speaker 1: I use at night and it's killer. And then the

1527
01:12:54,320 --> 01:12:56,719
Speaker 1: ones I use in the daytime are Dr Stam Okay,

1528
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:58,759
Speaker 1: Drs Sam I think is the best day cream.

1529
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:01,360
Speaker 2: Okay, goot, Yeah, I'm going to all of this, but

1530
01:13:01,439 --> 01:13:03,880
Speaker 2: please try the thing, and I need to know. I

1531
01:13:03,920 --> 01:13:06,400
Speaker 2: will try. And I love skin. Skincare is something I

1532
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:10,400
Speaker 2: love because I don't do makeup, and so skincare is

1533
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,679
Speaker 2: my ghost. I love trying new things. I love home

1534
01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:17,000
Speaker 2: home remedies, So I will try. What emotion do you

1535
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:18,599
Speaker 2: find difficult to deal with? And why?

1536
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:25,559
Speaker 1: I really really struggle with guilt. I really struggle with it,

1537
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,920
Speaker 1: and I try and fight it by convincing myself that

1538
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything wrong, and that always leads me

1539
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:35,639
Speaker 1: to tears. So guilt just just leaning in and accepting

1540
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 1: that I should feel guilty about it. It's okay to

1541
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:39,559
Speaker 1: feel guilty about it, but then posts and don't make

1542
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:42,439
Speaker 1: that mistake again, But it's much easier said than done.

1543
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:43,160
Speaker 2: Yes, it is.

1544
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:46,800
Speaker 1: Every time I start again from zero, I have.

1545
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:49,320
Speaker 2: I can resonate with that. My guilt, a lot of

1546
01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:52,280
Speaker 2: it on a daily basis, comes from not being with

1547
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:55,400
Speaker 2: my family and as they're getting older, and so the

1548
01:13:55,479 --> 01:13:58,080
Speaker 2: only way I've managed to really not let that take

1549
01:13:58,120 --> 01:14:01,719
Speaker 2: over and not make me cry every day is through actions.

1550
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:04,800
Speaker 2: So I always try plannings. So whether it's planning our

1551
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:08,160
Speaker 2: family holidays or whether it's thinking about putting our family

1552
01:14:08,160 --> 01:14:11,640
Speaker 2: albums together, like it's such little things. But because I

1553
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,680
Speaker 2: can't actually change the situation and I'm not in a

1554
01:14:13,680 --> 01:14:17,479
Speaker 2: place where I want to, I have to turn those

1555
01:14:17,479 --> 01:14:21,360
Speaker 2: feelings into some sort of something that's actionable. So that's

1556
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,920
Speaker 2: helped me. When it was the last time you had

1557
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:24,959
Speaker 2: a really good cry.

1558
01:14:25,479 --> 01:14:31,000
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, Friday, we're on no is it st Day?

1559
01:14:31,040 --> 01:14:31,439
Speaker 2: Saturday?

1560
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:34,960
Speaker 1: Thursday, I had a really really good cry.

1561
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:40,160
Speaker 2: If you had to say three no one sentence of

1562
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:42,519
Speaker 2: the key to being happy, what.

1563
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:45,080
Speaker 1: Would you say, Surround yourself with people that you love,

1564
01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:46,519
Speaker 1: respect and want the best for you.

1565
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,920
Speaker 2: And Okay, I have this thing where I have categorized

1566
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:54,280
Speaker 2: the type of crier that one can be so there

1567
01:14:54,360 --> 01:15:00,840
Speaker 2: is a loud, ugly crier where it's just the breathless

1568
01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:05,720
Speaker 2: that's something, okay, the sniffler and snutty where there's water

1569
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:09,360
Speaker 2: coming out from every hole, okay, cool, the high pitched which.

1570
01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:13,599
Speaker 1: Is okay, mind's a cover of those two.

1571
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:16,000
Speaker 2: That I'm not crying your crying cry, I have something

1572
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:18,720
Speaker 2: in my eye, never will admit they're crying. And then

1573
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:20,720
Speaker 2: the silent cry that runs to the bathroom. You come

1574
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:24,160
Speaker 2: back and you have absolutely they're the dramatic. The people

1575
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:26,840
Speaker 2: who are actors. They can just really beautifully cry and

1576
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 2: have nothing ugly about it.

1577
01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:34,440
Speaker 1: No, okay, I have been guilty many times on television,

1578
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,120
Speaker 1: but not it hasn't made television of going to the

1579
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:38,400
Speaker 1: bathroom to have a cry in the bathroom.

1580
01:15:38,439 --> 01:15:40,720
Speaker 2: Okay, So you which one would you say you're most like?

1581
01:15:40,880 --> 01:15:46,080
Speaker 1: I am the two of them. I'm the everywhere, but

1582
01:15:46,240 --> 01:15:48,160
Speaker 1: I'm also very high pitched at the same time.

1583
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:49,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I can see that.

1584
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:51,559
Speaker 1: But that's my most comment. But that's in real life.

1585
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:54,040
Speaker 1: But when I'm filming a show, I'm running away, it's

1586
01:15:54,280 --> 01:15:57,800
Speaker 1: very rare crime camera, it's very rare allowing and you

1587
01:15:57,840 --> 01:15:59,080
Speaker 1: know you got me if I did.

1588
01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:03,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, Thank you so much for everything, Thank

1589
01:16:03,040 --> 01:16:05,280
Speaker 2: you for sharing so much of yourself with us and

1590
01:16:05,560 --> 01:16:07,280
Speaker 2: for everything that you do. And I just want you

1591
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,040
Speaker 2: to know that you really brian up my day on

1592
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:12,000
Speaker 2: social media when you do post, and just seeing you

1593
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:14,439
Speaker 2: whenever I do is such a pleasure.

1594
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,720
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thanks, it was so good to

1595
01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:20,519
Speaker 1: be here, kind of telling you actually asked great questions course,

1596
01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:20,840
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1597
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:22,400
Speaker 2: I was really nervous to have you on.

1598
01:16:22,600 --> 01:16:24,320
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm not even kidding when I say

1599
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:26,960
Speaker 1: I've probably done about two thousand interviews within the last

1600
01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:30,080
Speaker 1: seven years, and so often I say in an interview,

1601
01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:32,760
Speaker 1: thinking that's been the same thing I've been asked a

1602
01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:34,840
Speaker 1: thousand times. Why I asked me this again? Thank you

1603
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:35,439
Speaker 1: so much for you.

1604
01:16:36,479 --> 01:16:37,240
Speaker 2: Thanks