1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington, 2 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, 3 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 1: and welcome to another episode of Call It What It Is. 4 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: We're gonna do an advice episode. 5 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, we've had these incredible interviews with people and we've 6 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: recapped the show, and but what it comes down to 7 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: is the Call It community. 8 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, and the fact that we feel like it's an offer. 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, that we're unlicensed to advise, but we're gonna do 10 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 3: it anyways, and that we have evidently better advice than 11 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:44,880 Speaker 3: other people to might. 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: And you can take it and you can leave it, 13 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: but we're going to tell you what it is. 14 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, come sit down on our couch, tell us, tell 15 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 3: us your problems. And by the way, but at least 16 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 3: now everybody knows who we are so that they can really, 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 3: you know, ask us what they would really like to 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 3: ask us. 19 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like they've gotten to know us at 20 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: this point. 21 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been almost a year now. 22 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 3: Maybe we've laid enough ground, We've got enough miles on 23 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 3: our tires that people could trust us. 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, or do you think at this point they're also 25 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: like we can't ask them that, like do what I mean, 26 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: like they would have a year ago, but. 27 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 2: They're like, m not this. What do you think she's 28 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,839 Speaker 2: gonna say about this? Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure, 29 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 2: but we. 30 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 3: Just you know, we're your crew and were your sister's here, 31 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:28,839 Speaker 3: so we're just here to help. 32 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: We had a ton of submissions, so let's just jump 33 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: in so you can get to as many people as possible. Great, Well, 34 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: here we go. 35 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 3: So Jesse wrote in and said, do you have any 36 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 3: advice for dealing with anxiety? And we talk about this 37 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 3: a lot, you and I Camilla, Yes I do. 38 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: I had a bunch of anxiety this weekend. And I 39 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: will tell you one of the things that actually really 40 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: helped me, and it might not help everybody, but I 41 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: had to fly. I really hate flying, and I never 42 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: fly with Matt without the kids, like that never happens. 43 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: It's all I was like, me going somewhere, him going 44 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: somewhere for work or it's a big family trip. So 45 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: I was having so much anxiety because hello, there's been 46 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: a lot of plane shit in the news, which is 47 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: triggering for me. And I was at the airport and 48 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: I was just not feeling good. But I knew that 49 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 1: it was going to be a shit show for me 50 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: anxiety wise. So I text my therapist number one, Please 51 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: go a therapist. I text my therapist and I said, 52 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: I need an emergency sort of situation. Do you have 53 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: any time? She got on with me and she said, 54 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: she says a thing to me that really helped me. 55 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: And she said, there's my what's my business? Your business 56 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: in God's business. And she's like, the plane landing, that's 57 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: God's business. Your business is to get on a plane 58 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 1: and sit in your seat. And it just actually really 59 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: helped me, Like the simplicity of like gave you a job, Yes, 60 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: it gave me a job, and it sort of gave 61 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: me my like I can't worry about this thing that's 62 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: God's business. So me being able to put some of 63 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 1: these in some of these things that I worry about 64 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 1: in categories helps me. 65 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. 66 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 3: I also agree that there's been a lot of uh, 67 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 3: you know, wild rides in planes lately and things happening, 68 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 3: and of course that gives everybody more anxiety. I was 69 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 3: recently on a flight where there was such extreme turbulence 70 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 3: that the woman next to me, uh screamed as loud 71 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 3: as she could and then proceeded to throw up everywhere, 72 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 3: and I was. 73 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: Like, okay, we go, Like turbulence doesn't scare you though, 74 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: or did that one? 75 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 3: I normally just think of it, like I guess it 76 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 3: was described to me as you're in a boat, and 77 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 3: the way that you feel the chop of the water 78 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 3: is the way it can boat. The width the planes 79 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 3: feel the drop of the air. So that makes sense 80 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 3: to me. Anyways, in that moment, I was feeling some anxiety. 81 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: It's really that bad. 82 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 3: It was really that bad, and I had one of 83 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 3: my daughters with me, and it is really true that 84 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 3: you just you give. 85 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,200 Speaker 2: Them your best self and that don't worry, look and go. 86 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 2: It's it's all good. 87 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 3: But I think that the advice piece of dealing with 88 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 3: anxiety is something you and I have talked about, which 89 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 3: is that anxiety is worry, and anxiety, you know, sort 90 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 3: of mostly usually sits in the future. So I think 91 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 3: I try to stay away from futurizing. 92 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 2: Yeah that's my word for it. 93 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 3: Yes, that's actually my therapist's word for it. I've borrowed it, 94 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 3: stolen it shamelessly, but it's futurizing. It's when I start 95 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 3: getting in the future and playing it out, playing out 96 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 3: things that haven't happened yet. I get into a little 97 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,160 Speaker 3: bit of trouble, and I definitely can work myself up. 98 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: My therapist, by the way, calls this me telling myself stories. 99 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: She's like, that's a story. Yeah, I told yourself. 100 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and I know yours. 101 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 3: Is also said, like what else could be true? Because 102 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 3: that's just a story, and so what else could be true? 103 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,039 Speaker 3: The screensaver I sent you helps me, which is that 104 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 3: often at times I think about all the things that 105 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 3: could go wrong or not work out, and I have 106 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 3: a screensaver that I have and I shared it with you, 107 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 3: and it simply says, in front of a beautiful background, 108 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 3: what if it all works out? And sometimes just reminding 109 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 3: myself that my thoughts about it not working out are 110 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 3: actually no bigger or more real than my thoughts about 111 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 3: it working out, So why not. 112 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 2: Choose the positive it's working out? What if it works out? 113 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 2: What if it works out? 114 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: I saw this thing that I thought was really interesting 115 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: the other day. I was scrolling TikTok and this girl said, 116 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: Worri is manifesting worst case for the worst case scenario, 117 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: So don't you know what I mean, Like, it's putting 118 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: so much energy into the bad thing. Yeah, And when 119 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: you think about it that way, I was like, I 120 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: gotta stop doing that, stop putting that energy into that 121 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: bad story or the futurizing. I just liked it. I 122 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: was like, can you would ask to be sort of 123 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: ruthless with yourself? 124 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to be very disciplined and stop it 125 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 3: and really say to yourself sometimes like cut it out. 126 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 2: And I will have this strong talking to myselfs and 127 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 2: be like stop it. 128 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 3: I used to roll my eyes so hard when people 129 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 3: would talk about breath work. 130 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, yeah, sure, breath work. Yeah. 131 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 3: And I think that I was wrong, and I'm here 132 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 3: to say that. I think sometimes just like your therapist 133 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 3: gave you a job in thinking about a different a 134 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 3: different way to look at your flight, when you give 135 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 3: yourself the job of just breathing, which is really elemental 136 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 3: to survival, it helps you focus on what you need 137 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 3: to do, like I just I need to breathe, and 138 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 3: then I also the other My last tidbit, although I'm 139 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 3: sure I have more, but we should get on with it, 140 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 3: is gratitude often gets me out of my worry when 141 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 3: I think about and name the things I'm thankful for. 142 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: I almost always feel lighter. 143 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's your body doing that hard right turn. Yeah, 144 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure. But I also. 145 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 3: Really think that we all worry, and I think anxiety 146 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 3: can sometimes make you feel lonely. But I really would 147 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 3: love to tell everyone you do not worry that you 148 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 3: are all alone, because there are there are teams and 149 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 3: armies and crews of warriors out there, warrior warrior warriors. 150 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 3: Ye think that there's a there's a good reason to 151 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 3: come together and trying to help each other through it. 152 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's it's real. 153 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: It is real, all right, Dedra. I think I want 154 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 1: another baby. How do you know when you are done? 155 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: We've sort of answered this one. 156 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 3: Before we have, but I have a I mean, I 157 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 3: have a top of I don't know why this just 158 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 3: came to my mind, but I think that I think 159 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 3: it's because of all this stuff that's happening in the 160 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 3: world with regards to the economy. 161 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 2: That I think of this, and I'm just gonna be 162 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: really really practical. 163 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 3: I never did. I never thought of it this way. 164 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 3: And then I was like, actually, this is a really 165 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 3: salient point. 166 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 2: How many can you afford? I mean, I wonder if you. 167 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 3: Think about that kind of stuff when you think about 168 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 3: me before babies, I didn't understand how all the dollars 169 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 3: and cents added up, and I thought, you know, I would. 170 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 2: I was. 171 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 3: I had endless amounts of love. While that's not a 172 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 3: finite resource, I got so much of that. But sometimes 173 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 3: you really have to think about the kind of life 174 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 3: that you want to have and the kind of life 175 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 3: you want to have for your children, and sometimes that 176 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 3: can actually help you come up with the number. 177 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: Yes. And you know what made me stop. Well, for me, 178 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: it's not just like how much can I afford? It's 179 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: like how much can my mental health afford? I am 180 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: like I knew I had a certain amount, Like there's 181 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: a number of kids where I would just be in 182 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: bed all day, yes, and frust so I knew I 183 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: didn't want to do that. But also for me when 184 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: you have a baby, for me personally, I'm not one 185 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,599 Speaker 1: of those people that you would ever see at the 186 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: airport with like a newborn, those people that are traveling 187 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: the world with like a one year old. God bless you, 188 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: it's not me. I feel like the clock starts again, 189 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: of like the travel clock starts again. So I did 190 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: not want want to spend another few years sort of 191 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: hunkering down. I wanted to be able to go explore 192 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: and travel well with my kids, or I'm not having 193 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: to really worry about the blackout curtains and the da 194 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: da da da dah and Len need the crib in 195 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 1: the room and like all that stuff. Selfishly, I wanted. 196 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 2: To be free of it. Yeah. 197 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 3: And by the way, if my very practical answer SAIDs 198 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 3: like you really want the more emotional answer, I personally, 199 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 3: with four children, didn't feel like I was done after 200 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 3: three and after four I felt like I was done. 201 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 2: So I would say trust yourself. 202 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 3: If you I think you're gonna know when you're done, Yeah, 203 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 3: trust yourself. Stephanie wrote in how do you know when 204 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 3: you've outgrown your job? When is it time to leave 205 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 3: or ask for more money? 206 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: Well, I love what mel Robbin said, and she said 207 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: something along the lines of about asking for mo money. 208 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 1: The biggest, the main the component of getting a promotion 209 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: is letting your work be known. So I feel like, 210 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 1: once you've really proved yourself in a job and you've 211 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: let your work be known, that's the time you'll know. 212 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: We all know when we when it's time to really 213 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: go in. What happens is is that we don't want 214 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: to mm hmm right because it feels tricky and icky 215 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: and it feels like, ah, what if you know it 216 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: likes to yeah, some ruffling feathers. 217 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,959 Speaker 2: And you're you always want to be like if answers no, 218 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 2: what if? 219 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: Yeah? Exactly? And then what does that mean for you? 220 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: I think everyone has their instinct if you're killing it 221 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: at your job, yeah, you need to be compensated for that, ye, 222 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: and time to move on out grow your job. I 223 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: do think you instinctually know when that time comes. 224 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 2: To yeah, and then it just becomes a matter of 225 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 2: very well it was? It was. 226 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 3: You're part of the conversation with mel which is like 227 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 3: what you're The practical side is do you need that job? 228 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 2: And can? And also I guess the more. 229 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 3: Practical side would be what are your options outside of 230 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 3: your job and and looking at those and being very 231 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 3: educated about where you would go to now xt or 232 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 3: what your what your plan would be. 233 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 2: I think you got to have a plan. I'm a 234 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,680 Speaker 2: planned person. You are such a planned person, but I. 235 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 3: Like a plan that would make me feel secure. Is 236 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 3: that if I felt like i'd outgrown my job. I 237 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,079 Speaker 3: would want a plan to figure out how, you know, 238 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 3: where I was going to go to next, or how 239 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 3: much time I was going to take off or whatever 240 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 3: that was. And then I think the money piece is 241 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 3: I do think that there's a way at this point 242 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,599 Speaker 3: in life. And what I've done in certain situations is 243 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 3: I do a little sleuthing. You do a little research. 244 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 3: You know, you come to understand how much people who 245 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 3: do what you do, how like what other people make 246 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 3: that do what you do, and then figure that out. 247 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 3: That's you know, you got to be ready for that, 248 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,839 Speaker 3: because sometimes you can get some information that's not great, 249 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 3: you know, but yeah, if you're ready for the answer, 250 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 3: go find out how much someone doing your job is making. 251 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: Exactly right, Fiona, I just got engaged. What advice can 252 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: you give me from what you you learned from your 253 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 1: own wedding? Ooh, I know, I already have a couple 254 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: of things on the top of my head. 255 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 2: Do it go? 256 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 1: I say, put a time limit on your pictures, yes, 257 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: because that can last forever and then you're missing your 258 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 1: own cocktail party. 259 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 2: And the other. 260 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 1: Advice I would give I literally gave them like thirty minutes. 261 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: I was like, you're done in thirty And then the 262 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: other advice I would give is don't drink too much. 263 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: Sometimes you were like mimosaing before you know what you're 264 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,719 Speaker 1: pregaming like as you're getting ready. And then I know 265 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: people that have like at the end of their wedding 266 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: been like I didn't feel fully present. Yeah, when I 267 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 1: was saying my vows, you want to like have fun later, 268 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: have fun later, but like just know your limits so 269 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: that you're really present at the end of the aisle. 270 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 2: Yes, I agree with both of those wholeheartedly. Be ruthless 271 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: with your guest list. 272 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, Jess. I think, Yeah, I had rules. 273 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 3: I was like, I am not putting out my hand 274 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 3: and shaking anyone's hand to meet them for the first 275 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 3: time at my wedding. Like you have to know the 276 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 3: people at your wedding, which people get so, you know, 277 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 3: cause they can get a little grumpy about plus ones 278 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 3: and this, that and the other. But I think, you know, 279 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 3: you got to really come up with with your partner. 280 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 3: You got to come up with the rules. But I 281 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 3: do I think you should be very specific about who 282 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 3: is there. Yes, absolutely, Jenny said, I haven't dated in 283 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 3: ten years. I decided to be all in on my kids, 284 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 3: and now I don't know where to start. I think 285 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,439 Speaker 3: she's not alone. I feel that this is something people 286 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 3: talk about. I think that there are there are what 287 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 3: do you call good message boards group chats for this redditsdit, Yes, there. 288 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 2: Are Reddit threads for this. 289 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 1: Well. Listen, we've talked a little bit of shit on 290 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:04,079 Speaker 1: the facts that we you know, people on dating apps 291 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: aren't meeting in person organically, They're not having that meet 292 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: cute story. However, do I think that still people can 293 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 1: find their person that way? Yes, I would dip a 294 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: little toe in that, do some swiping, yeah, and just 295 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: see where it ticks. 296 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 2: Taken me fun. 297 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: Also, it might be just be a good way for 298 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: you to like get the first date over and done with. Yeah, 299 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: like back in the saddle. You know. I think that 300 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: that's where you start. Oh, Jenny, I kind of I 301 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: want to be on your team. 302 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 2: I want to sit there. 303 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 3: I used to sit and swipe with my sister when 304 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 3: she was dating. It's fun, it's fun. You got to 305 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 3: gamify it. 306 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's a way to dip your toe 307 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: back in, and you know, I do. Here's one thing 308 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: I actually really do like about dating sites like that 309 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 1: is there's a list of like sort of like here's 310 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: who I am, and maybe as you're scrolling, you start 311 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: to realize you're swiping. I mean you start to realize 312 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: like what you're maybe looking for. 313 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 3: I think that if it's been ten years of not 314 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 3: doing anything, not only do would I go with the 315 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 3: dipitow situation and approach, but I would also really try 316 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 3: to make fun. I don't know, you don't hear the 317 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 3: most like you don't hear people talk about how which. 318 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 2: Fun dating is. 319 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, And so my guess is that you could definitely 320 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 3: go into it, you know, with all sorts of preconceived 321 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 3: notions that it was not going to be fun, but 322 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 3: you don't know yet. So I'd say go into it 323 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 3: and sort of like figure out what parts of it 324 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 3: you find fun and then go from there. Maybe it's 325 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 3: you know, going to a new restaurant. 326 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 1: Maybe it's yeah, going horseback riding, yeah or not. Also, 327 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: I would say last thing I would say is don't 328 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: put a lot of pressure on yourself to be like, Okay, 329 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 1: I've got to find the guy. If you're if you're 330 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: you know, like just yeah, like I been, Yeah, exactly. 331 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 2: They're out there waiting for you. 332 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: Tiana said, do either of you have tips on dealing 333 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: with grief. I mean, I could talk about this really 334 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: long time. This isn't gonna be this. What I'm gonna 335 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: say is not everyone's cup of tea, but this has 336 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 1: really helped me. I think being really spiritually open helps 337 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: you with grief. I think that if I really thought 338 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: that the other side, or whatever you want to think 339 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: of it as didn't exist, my grief would be a 340 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: lot heavier. I think that I've been very open spiritually 341 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: after my mom passed, and I see signs, I see 342 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: all these all those kind of things, all these confirmations 343 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 1: of her still being with me have really helped my grief. 344 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: I realize that that's not for everybody. That's just my experience. 345 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: It's probably the number one thing that's helped me with grief. 346 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 2: I think that that's beautiful. I agree. 347 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 3: I think that grief is so personal. I think most 348 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 3: people try to resist it. And I think that as 349 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 3: I've experienced more of just life, it's been proven that 350 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 3: I won't die of it. That I won't you know 351 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 3: that I can lean into it a little bit more, 352 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 3: that I can feel it and sometimes I need to 353 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 3: feel it in order for it to pass. Otherwise it's 354 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 3: just going to come get me in a different way. 355 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 2: That's so true. 356 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 1: I've had that. 357 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm reminded of that. You know, the only 358 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 3: way out is through, and you've got to just feel 359 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 3: the feelings and the sadness and the grief and the 360 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 3: and they're all really uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, and sometimes I 361 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 3: think you do actually need to feel them alone. And 362 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 3: sometimes I think you can ask for people to be 363 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,440 Speaker 3: with you in it or feel so that you feel supported. 364 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 3: But I do think that you you need to feel 365 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 3: it and trust with a little bit. You know, every 366 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:55,439 Speaker 3: every every time you try, you'll build up more understanding 367 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 3: that it will then pass. 368 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,360 Speaker 2: It will Yeah, a great I. 369 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 1: Love that too, all right, Lexi, Oh this is a 370 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:05,400 Speaker 1: fun one. 371 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, I am crushing so hard on a colleague, but 372 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 3: I don't want to make it awkward. 373 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 1: Help. 374 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. 375 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 3: I mean I think that that's tricky, tricky, tricky, dicky. 376 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 1: As someone who married a colleague, a very serious colleague. 377 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 1: When you say where you where you met him and 378 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: what we were waiting colleagues, First of all, we come 379 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: from Gray's Anatomy. Everyone's being in their colleagues on that show. 380 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: We're not the best people to ask. We're like, go in, 381 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: lean full in. I need to know if you think 382 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: this is being reciprocated, because if it's clearly not, then 383 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,439 Speaker 1: this is like a you got to swallow the mission, 384 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: yes and move desks. Yes, if he's if he's sort 385 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 1: of you know, leaning, if you feel some vibes maybe 386 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: just you know, maybe everyone goes out for a drink 387 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: one night and you just kind of see where it 388 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: takes you. 389 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,399 Speaker 2: Lingering eye contact, a little lingering eye contact. Ooh, like 390 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 2: in the movies. 391 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: I don't want Lexi to write us back though, and 392 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 1: like let us know, Lexi, we need to know more. 393 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, more, or to help if we've helped it all. 394 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, because if he's like married with five kids, we're like, oh, 395 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: mission Lexi. Okay, Danny. Oh, Danny said, how do you 396 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: deal with insecurity's body, et cetera. Ough Ugh. 397 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 2: Hmm. I mean I guess at what stage in my 398 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 2: life I know I. 399 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: Was gonna say, like I can let it go, which 400 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: is almost a good thing because I'm like. 401 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,120 Speaker 2: There are things I could clearly. 402 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,040 Speaker 1: We're literally let it go. 403 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, I can literally just let 404 00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 4: it all go. 405 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 3: When I was younger, I was not kind to myself. So, 406 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,119 Speaker 3: if you want an honest answer, how I dealt with 407 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 3: it was I was mean to myself. I was mean 408 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 3: and what I said to myself was not kind or supportive, 409 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 3: and I made myself feel worse about it, and I 410 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 3: made it bigger than it was and. 411 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,120 Speaker 2: I dealt with it terribly. And I think that as 412 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 2: I have matured, I. 413 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 3: Am kinder to myself about my insecurities, and I think 414 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 3: I have a greater understanding that everyone has them. 415 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,480 Speaker 2: Again, there's just so much power in knowing you're not alone. 416 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 3: I mean, hence the concept of this conversation and what 417 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 3: we hope to do with this podcast. Right, you're not alone. 418 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 3: Everyone has insecurities, So I feel like, you know, how do. 419 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: You deal with them? 420 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,400 Speaker 2: I mean, how do you not? You're alive? 421 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 3: We all got something and most of the time, you 422 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 3: know what we were talking to Vanessa Lee about this, 423 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,760 Speaker 3: It's like, most of the time people don't even see 424 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 3: the thing that you're obsessing about, and so think about 425 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 3: how much energy you're giving to something that someone else 426 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 3: might not even notice. 427 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,160 Speaker 2: At all. 428 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 3: So then I think I just go, you know what, 429 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 3: mind matter, this is silly. I am not doing myself 430 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 3: any favors. And if it's something that I could, you know, 431 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,159 Speaker 3: if I'm insecure about that I could work on that 432 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 3: I think would be positive, then I change it. And 433 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 3: if it's something that I can't, then you gotta let go. 434 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,920 Speaker 1: I also think one thing that I that I thought 435 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 1: was actually really like touching in the interview we did 436 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: with Vanessa is she said the first question that she 437 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,439 Speaker 1: asked somebody that people get emotional about is what do 438 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:30,400 Speaker 1: you love about yourself? And I think that in those 439 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 1: times of insecurity, maybe ask yourself, like what I love 440 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,800 Speaker 1: about myself? And it just like every time that you 441 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,679 Speaker 1: have that negative thought, because we're all going to have that, like, 442 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 1: also ask yourself the opposite today, what do I love 443 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: about myself? Actually my hair is like kind of falling 444 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 1: in a cool way today, and you know I would 445 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: continue to do that. I love that. 446 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that. It's it's sort of on the 447 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 3: same and the same vein as constantly thinking it's not 448 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 3: gonna work out, it's not going to work out, it's 449 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,479 Speaker 3: not gonna work out, and being reminded like, well, what 450 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 3: if it does? 451 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 1: What if it does exactly? Yeah? 452 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 3: Okay, Jamie wrote in and said, what are your thoughts 453 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 3: on sleeping in a separate bedroom than your partner. 454 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 2: You've gotten some steam. This is kind of popular. Okay. 455 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,479 Speaker 1: Can I tell you something. So Matt and I just 456 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: went to Vegas for one night. It was my friend's birthday, 457 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,640 Speaker 1: and somehow it all like, you know, these trips never 458 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 1: come together, and it was a last man like, Hey, 459 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 1: me and my husband I going to Vegas? Does anyone 460 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: want to come? And everyone was last minute. Managed to 461 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: find people to watch their kids, and we went to 462 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: Vegas one night. When I booked that hotel room, I 463 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: booked two queen beds, and I told everybody, because there's 464 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: nothing I love more than sleeping separate from my husband. 465 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: He is I if I can feel him breathe on me, 466 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 1: it's annoying. It is. If his foot touches my foot, 467 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,920 Speaker 1: it's like I want to chop his foot off. 468 00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 4: Like it's so one night together in a king bed 469 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 4: on spring break, we went for like a couple of 470 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 4: nights away and we were in a king bed together 471 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,399 Speaker 4: and I wanted to murder him in the morning like 472 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 4: it was. 473 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 2: Night. 474 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 1: Yes, so in our so in our bed at home, 475 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: the king bed that we have, we have a king bed. 476 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:24,479 Speaker 1: Love it. It comes with two separate mattresses and so 477 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: we have a separate match So I can't feel if 478 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: he wants to roll around all night, go have at it. 479 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: I have two separate duvets, so if he wants a 480 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: tug on a duvet, that's true. So basically what I'm 481 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 1: saying is is I fully support separate bedrooms. We just 482 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 1: don't have another one for me to sleep in. If 483 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: it was, I would love it. I would do it 484 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,679 Speaker 1: because you know what you can have. You can have 485 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 1: your intimacy and then you can get your sleep in. 486 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. You bang on in one and 487 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 2: you keep another one. 488 00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 3: First for someone to exactly there's your sleeping bed doing 489 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 3: it bed. 490 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. So I have strong I have a strong opinion 491 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: on this. I love a sepperate bedroom. 492 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 2: I love that. 493 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. 494 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 3: Okay, Taylor, I am newly dating a man with an 495 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 3: eight year old daughter. How long should I wait before 496 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 3: meeting her? I feel like, all what I'm either getting 497 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 3: this from a movie or multiple movies, or just to 498 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 3: have heard this. 499 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 2: I think a year right. 500 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: I think a year is good. I think you meet her. 501 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 1: I think if you're in any way on the fence 502 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: about this relationship, you don't meet her. I think if 503 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 1: you're really in and it's it feels like it's really 504 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: going in that direction, then I think that you can 505 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,399 Speaker 1: meet her. Oh yes, warms my heart. Okay, Natasha, my 506 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 1: girlfriend of three years, gave me an ultimatum my career, 507 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,959 Speaker 1: military or her. 508 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 3: Okay, all right, Well, I mean I don't love the 509 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 3: language because I we an ultimatum feels like negative. But 510 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,120 Speaker 3: I think I think I might need follow up questions 511 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 3: because I think if if your girlfriend says I can't, 512 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 3: I don't want to do this, this isn't the life 513 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,399 Speaker 3: that I want, Yeah, then that's really like you got it. 514 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 2: You gotta listen. And if it's and you can't live 515 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 2: without it, then you got to listen to that. Tough choices. 516 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:15,640 Speaker 2: Either way, it's hard. 517 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: It's hard, right, nobody wants to be given an ultimatum. 518 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 1: But if someone's telling you exactly right, like I can't 519 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,679 Speaker 1: do this, then it's a make or break moment. Yeah, 520 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,959 Speaker 1: So it just is what it is a little bit. 521 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're still in a choice moment, because that 522 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 3: will not get any better. That's one of those things 523 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 3: that time does not know help you out with so greatly, 524 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 3: would only get worse. Devin wrote in and said, I 525 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 3: need advice on how to come out to my super 526 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 3: religious conservative Southern family. 527 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 2: That's hard. 528 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: I'm a little rip off the band ady, if you're 529 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 1: if you are making the decision to come out to them, 530 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 1: I don't think the way you do it is going 531 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: to change the outcome of how they feel about it. Yeah, 532 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 1: And I think that it's less about how do I 533 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,159 Speaker 1: need advice on how to do it? Because I think 534 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,439 Speaker 1: it just is what it is, right like, this is me, 535 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,920 Speaker 1: this is my authentic self. I think you need to 536 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 1: ready yourself. Yes, that's also to say, I think it's 537 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: more about you feeling okay with the outcome either way. 538 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,439 Speaker 1: So get the pair yourself right, Yes, exactly, It's about 539 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 1: you and not them. 540 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, because if you know what your truth is and 541 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,680 Speaker 3: who you are and and and and you know, because 542 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 3: you put in my super religious conservative Southern family, you 543 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 3: know that they might feel well, you know that they're 544 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 3: going to have feelings about it, then you need to 545 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 3: be really ready with yours. 546 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 2: And because yours matter more. 547 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, they do. That's the truth. 548 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 3: Yes, you're going to be on the right side of 549 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 3: history and all things. So I'm I'm with you. 550 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 2: Uh and and and I think. 551 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 3: You know, I want to say, like the optimistic side 552 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 3: of me wants to say. 553 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,199 Speaker 2: People surprise you. 554 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say to you never know, 555 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,080 Speaker 1: you never know, to prepare yourself for the never knowing. 556 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:10,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 557 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 3: But I but my heart is with you because that's 558 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 3: that's a hard one. That's really hard. 559 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of people listening that propably are 560 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:34,919 Speaker 1: in that situation. Yeah, Cec says, I am sixteen and 561 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 1: want to pursue acting. Do you have any tips on 562 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: how to get started? Oh I do, I do too, Okay, 563 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:43,920 Speaker 1: you what's your tip? 564 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,640 Speaker 2: Well, I have. 565 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 3: A daughter that's very interested in acting, and I was like, 566 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 3: what do you do? Because I think I just straight 567 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 3: up you know, I mean again, I was poll, well, 568 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,880 Speaker 3: it's actually Poppy and Josie, they're back to both very real. 569 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very I know, very cool, I think. 570 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,119 Speaker 3: But I would tell myself stories in the mirror and 571 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 3: I would just had conduct my own little acting classes. 572 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 3: I thinry I come up with the monologues all that, 573 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 3: But it turns out that you actually can do a 574 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:19,880 Speaker 3: little uh snooping around and in almost every environment community 575 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 3: not sure how close or how far, there are all 576 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:26,479 Speaker 3: these incredible little theater moments. And so we found two 577 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 3: of them, one for Josie's age and one for Poppy's age. 578 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 3: And you can really start with scene study. And I mean, listen, 579 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 3: I'm a big believer. This was my path, but I 580 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 3: think that I enjoyed it. You you need to do 581 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 3: the work first. You need to go to the classes first, 582 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 3: you need to figure out, you know, where you sit 583 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 3: in it and what people's feedback is, and really be 584 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 3: around people that you trust and ask them to be 585 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 3: honest with you and like whatever. It sounds cheesy, but 586 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 3: hone your craft because it's definitely not worth it to 587 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 3: just be famous. 588 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 2: You don't want to get into a situation. 589 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 3: Where you want to be you know, you just want 590 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 3: to be in that in that light, you got to 591 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 3: really really really love it because it's a lot. 592 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 2: It is a lot. 593 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: I've had this discussion because I don't think that Hayden 594 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: wants to do acting, even though she's in a little 595 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: uh she's a she's in a little acting theater class. 596 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 1: Right now, they're going to do the Descendants. I'm doing 597 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: it more because she's with her friends and it builds confidence. 598 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: But I agree with you. My journey was very much 599 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 1: from a really young age, probably maybe eight, uh, starting 600 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: in theater, and I just think that that is the. 601 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:39,959 Speaker 2: Way to go. 602 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: So if she did want to start acting, I would 603 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 1: not want her to act as a child, to be 604 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: honest on TV or film, but I would fully support 605 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: her doing theater. So I just think that, you know, 606 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: theater is everywhere and that's the way to go. 607 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, Sandra says, how survive your late twenties single? 608 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 3: Unsure of my career path and just feeling lost? 609 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 2: Sandra, you are everyone, Yes, you are. 610 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: We talk about We described the twenties as being in 611 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 1: the trenches, and it really is. 612 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 2: I was. 613 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: I didn't start dating Matt until I was twenty eight, 614 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: and I was broke most of my twenties and your 615 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: twenties are hard. They well, unsure I have a career 616 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 1: path and just feeling lost. Okay, let's really think about this. Well, 617 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: we've talked about this a little bit before, Jess, and 618 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 1: we've talked about our dream boards, manifesting. 619 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, the vision boards. 620 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,120 Speaker 1: The vision boards, I really do think that they help 621 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 1: because I think that. 622 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,600 Speaker 2: You get specific about what you want. 623 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 1: You have to get specific about what you want, and 624 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 1: so when you're sitting with a big, giant white piece 625 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 1: of paper and you're like, Okay, what does my career 626 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: look like? I'm going to make a picture of it, 627 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 1: then you have to really think about it and start 628 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 1: to uh, yeah, just get specific. So I still think 629 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 1: that's the way to go. Yep, these things are a journey, though. 630 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 1: I also would say, just don't put any pressure on yourself. 631 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,719 Speaker 1: It's okay that you're single, It's okay that you're unsure 632 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: of your career path. 633 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 2: Oh I'm going to be a little uh contradictory and 634 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 2: not not in the listen. 635 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: I love it. 636 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 2: It's a push, it's a push pull for me. 637 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 3: I feel like pressure is looked at as a negative thing, 638 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 3: and sometimes it's actually a very positive thing. 639 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 2: You just have to know yourself and where you are. 640 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 3: Because sometimes you actually need to put a little bit 641 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 3: more pressure on yourself. 642 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:41,640 Speaker 2: Sometimes. 643 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 3: I think I hear a lot of people you know, 644 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 3: and maybe since the dating situations on phones now and 645 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 3: everything else, I think they're going to meet, you know, 646 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 3: the person of their dreams while they're sitting on their couch. 647 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 2: Probably, I mean maybe, but like also maybe put a 648 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 2: little pressure on yourself to go make a plan with 649 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 2: a friend, get out, like go do something. Or if 650 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 2: it's not, if whatever is happening and you are feeling lost, 651 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 2: try something different. 652 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 3: What is it that he's doing, and then maybe do 653 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 3: the opposite or do something different than the thing. You know, like, 654 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 3: don't keep doing the same thing and expecting something different 655 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 3: to happen. And at least it will shake up your 656 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 3: algorithm a little bit and maybe even you know, invite 657 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 3: you to look at things in a different way and 658 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 3: maybe you'll see something that you didn't never even seen before, 659 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 3: and then you can put that on your vision board. 660 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: I love that, Ellie Anna says, I love my husband 661 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: a lot, but our sex life is so blah. How 662 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: do I fix this? 663 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 3: Ooh, refer to one of our earlier episodes. 664 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:48,160 Speaker 1: Yes, toys, Toys, I'm gonna do it. I think, I mean, listen, 665 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:52,959 Speaker 1: I think that you gotta so if you maybe you 666 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,920 Speaker 1: start with a conversation where you're like, listen, it's time 667 00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 1: to spice it up, like let's make things fun. Let's 668 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,240 Speaker 1: role play, because maybe you'll find out that you're super 669 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 1: into something that you didn't know that you were into. 670 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 3: Nikki Glazer was on the Goop podcast and she was 671 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 3: talking to Gwyneth about being very turned on by her 672 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 3: boyfriend having sex with other women. 673 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: She watches, and I was like, well, I don't know. 674 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,920 Speaker 2: I actually didn't. I want to. 675 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 3: I'm going to listen to the whole thing, but I 676 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 3: it was a snippet, so I don't know. 677 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 2: I mean listen. I think it kind of depends on 678 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,320 Speaker 2: how how far you want to go. 679 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: We're doing this storyline on Gray's Anatomy with Owen and 680 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 1: Teddy and it's not going. Well. Let's do one last one. 681 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 3: Yielle said, I caught my sister cheating on her boyfriend. 682 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 2: I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. 683 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna do nothing. Yeah, you're gonna what do you? 684 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 1: What do you? You're gonna do absolutely nothing, and you're 685 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 1: gonna say to your sister, dude, what the fuck? And 686 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 1: then you're gonna not medication. 687 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're just gonna zip it, zip it. 688 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 3: Landon says, how important is height in a relationship? The 689 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 3: guy I'm seeing is quite short, but a gem. 690 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 1: Can I tell you something that just made me laugh 691 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 1: a little bit. If I was ever referred to as 692 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: a gem, that would have that's she's already killed it. 693 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 2: You're not into him. 694 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,520 Speaker 1: There's never a point where Matt and I were dating. 695 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: They're like, what's he like? And I'm like, he's a 696 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:30,919 Speaker 1: real gem. If I had said that, my girlfriends would 697 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,440 Speaker 1: have been like, why are. 698 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:33,200 Speaker 2: You still together? 699 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,400 Speaker 1: My gosh, you know it's true? Have you? 700 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 2: Do you think it's true? 701 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,319 Speaker 1: There's no heat to this? 702 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, Clearly for you it's important. 703 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,440 Speaker 1: There's no there's no heat to this gem, so clearly 704 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,760 Speaker 1: for you. Land and height is quite important. 705 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,759 Speaker 2: I think we should finish it there. But I can 706 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 2: add to this that. 707 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: I gave it a shot. 708 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 2: In my dating days, there was a guy who I 709 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,520 Speaker 2: was a real jum. 710 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 1: It was a real jem. How short did you go? 711 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 2: He was very very funny, very funny. 712 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:17,000 Speaker 3: I mean, yes, not radically short, same height as you ish, 713 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 3: but I mean I liked to wear heels so often, 714 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 3: not as not. He was shorter than me, yes, and uh, 715 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 3: and then I you know, I kept sort of judging 716 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 3: myself so Landon, I'm with you. I understand. I was 717 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 3: judging myself for not being into it, and so I 718 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 3: just kept being like, you know what, just just keep swimming, 719 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 3: just keep swimming, and so much fun, so funny, so great, whatever. 720 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:47,720 Speaker 3: And then we had like a proper makeout session, and. 721 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,759 Speaker 1: The breath you just took was so stressed. 722 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 5: It was so it was so stressful because I it 723 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 5: was we were standing and it's just the ratios were off. 724 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,560 Speaker 5: So Landon, I guess I would ask yourself, it's it's 725 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 5: not about how important is height in the world or whatever. 726 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,399 Speaker 1: What's the feel like to you? 727 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,320 Speaker 2: How are the ratios? What's your. 728 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: Stature? Yeah? 729 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:15,359 Speaker 3: And and then yeah, that's what That's what I'd say. 730 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,600 Speaker 1: We got that was so funny. We gotta do I 731 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: I miss this. Yeah, we're gonna do more of these, 732 00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,480 Speaker 1: Send us more. And we didn't even get to get 733 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 1: through everybody today, so we're gonna have to go back. 734 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,880 Speaker 1: But send us your send us your stuff. 735 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 2: Yes please, but you've nothing. 736 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,359 Speaker 3: Nothing gives us greater pleasure than thinking that we can 737 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 3: be of help and or that we know best. 738 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 1: I think we can call it the end of the episode.