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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: First Minute Morning Show, The fifteen Minute Morning Show podcast.

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Speaker 1: A lot of us wearing purple for Spirit Day. A

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Speaker 1: few of us aren't. Look at Scary's scary tight shirt.

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Speaker 1: It's a size small. It's the only thing you guys had,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, you look great in it. And

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Speaker 1: you're making a statement, you're making several statements. What statement

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Speaker 1: of my banking? It's Spirit Day. It's all about bullying

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Speaker 1: in the LGBTQ community. Okay, and you know what, it

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Speaker 1: is good to recycle tight shirts. He was very very

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Speaker 1: happy that he said. And I, well, I'm just able.

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Speaker 1: I was happy I was able to squeeze into this

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Speaker 1: even if it doesn't fit. He's glad he got into

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Speaker 1: a small Yeah, and we're happy you did. And there's Froggy,

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Speaker 1: and there's Nate, and there's Scotty B and Danielle and

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Speaker 1: Gandhi and Brody and Garrett. Yes, all right, all right, yes, Nate. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So during the show today, Gandhi did a list of things.

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Speaker 1: What was the things men do that women don't know

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Speaker 1: about her? Things men secretly do. So I found this

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Speaker 1: list on Reddit The things they didn't realize until they

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Speaker 1: lived with a woman. Oh that's good. Okay, this thing

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Speaker 1: I found out. It kind of shocked me. Apparently showering

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Speaker 1: and washing your hair are separate events. They're not separate events,

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Speaker 1: but you don't always do them together. That's what I feel.

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Speaker 1: You And when you wash your hair, it's quite an

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Speaker 1: undertaking at least, like if you have hair like me

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Speaker 1: or like you know a lot of it. It's not

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Speaker 1: just a quick band thing with us, just like in

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Speaker 1: the shower every day done right. When you have hair

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Speaker 1: like yours, longer hair, more hair, it's it is an event.

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Speaker 1: A lot of guys didn't know that till the mood event.

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Speaker 1: You invite people over, then have a bottle of conditioner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah at once, Yeah, pretty much. Well, your wife Amy

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Speaker 1: has enough hair for five people. It's true and can

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Speaker 1: prove that. Yeah. Is there anything else that? Yeah? There

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Speaker 1: to get rid of bangs, you don't just cut them off, seriously,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you have to grow them out. Yeah

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Speaker 1: does that make I mean, isn't that just the hair

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Speaker 1: up front? You gotta cut it off and then need

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Speaker 1: to have I don't know, I mean we do. We

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Speaker 1: all have the same hair, so like Nate. If you

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Speaker 1: decided you wanted to grow your hair out, or you

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Speaker 1: didn't want that little curly cue in the front anymore,

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't just cut it off, right, Well, what do

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Speaker 1: you do with it? You just let it grow. You

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Speaker 1: can paint it with a bobby pin while it grows out.

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Speaker 1: There's things you can do. I had no answer for that.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay. Hair stylists get really temperamental about bangs too.

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Speaker 1: They'll tell you like, oh no, I don't think you

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Speaker 1: should do bangs. Your hair's too long, it's going to

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Speaker 1: take you too long to grow it out, you don't

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Speaker 1: have the face for it. All kinds of stuff too

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Speaker 1: curly or you know, stuffing. Yeah, hold on, do you

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Speaker 1: hear that? I got dogs barking? I got I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love a beautiful day on the farm. See this one.

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Speaker 1: I found out. Pockets are very rare for women's pants.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you guys have pockets? Well, I think that

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Speaker 1: they're more, you know, form fitting and some sometimes a

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Speaker 1: pocket makes things look wider. But what sucks even more

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Speaker 1: is when you do have a pocket, that thing is

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Speaker 1: so tiny you can't put anything in anywhere. Pockets It

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Speaker 1: pops out the side on your thighs. I hate that

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Speaker 1: when it doesn't like sit flat. Yeah, and it puffs.

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Speaker 1: But every time I see a woman that does have

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Speaker 1: pockets that that they do enjoy, they seem so happy.

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Speaker 1: So like, do would you enjoy more pockets? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a dress with pockets. I'm like, look at my pocket?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, should be carrying stuff in pockets? No, but

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Speaker 1: dress with pockets. You have a place for your hands.

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Speaker 1: That's women should wear too. You can wear coo lots.

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Speaker 1: Here's that I didn't realize until I live with Heather.

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Speaker 1: Heather never ever dry her clothes in a dryer. Trigger

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Speaker 1: I write a pair of I don't know if they

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Speaker 1: were pleather or some sort of weird My god, they

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Speaker 1: seriously looked like they should be going onto a doll,

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Speaker 1: like they were like this big here today. So Lisa

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Speaker 1: said to me from the other room, Hey, can you

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Speaker 1: throw the clothes in the dryer? And I said, yeah, sure.

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Speaker 1: When you asked me to throw the clothes in the dryer,

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Speaker 1: what does that mean? You put the clothes in the

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Speaker 1: dryer separate. You take everything that's in the washer and

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Speaker 1: you throw it in the dryer and you turn it on. Correct,

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Speaker 1: they were already washed. It was already washed. Everything was washed.

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Speaker 1: You can washing machine. And she said, we bring the

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Speaker 1: clothes in the dryer, so I did stuffing. You need

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Speaker 1: separate loads for coming up. So what happens because I

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Speaker 1: threw her bras in there, she lost her ship on me. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they you didn't know. You didn't. Every brad ever warned

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Speaker 1: you could throw in the dryers. What I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you gotta stay in the end of the form

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Speaker 1: and loses this form. And there's also delicates that don't

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Speaker 1: go in the dryer, and you're supposed to know that also, right,

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Speaker 1: And like if there's still like the T shirt that

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Speaker 1: Danielle is wearing, it's kind of a fitted T shirt.

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Speaker 1: I don't dry stuff like that ever, because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if this even shrinks an inch, this is going to

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Speaker 1: be a problem. So I'll just air dry that too.

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Speaker 1: See you learn that when you finally move in with

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Speaker 1: the woman frog. You just didn't learn it. Another advantage

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Speaker 1: of being gay was another advantage to drow everything in

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Speaker 1: the dryer place. And then to your point, women only

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Speaker 1: own one truly good bra. Nope, no, but the couple

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Speaker 1: that I own even though I don't even like bras,

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Speaker 1: and I don't like wearing them. I swear by them,

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Speaker 1: and if I can't find them, I get very upset.

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Speaker 1: Even though I have other bras, they're like show bras.

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Speaker 1: You know, all right, what are you wearing right now? Nothing? Okay? Uh?

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Speaker 1: I see I found out about this period panties apparently

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Speaker 1: or a thing. Oh yeah, of course, are sure you

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Speaker 1: can't wear your nice panties during the time of month? No, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a bad word. I just learned to. Like. I know,

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Speaker 1: there's many side effects of birth control, is Gandhi mentioned

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Speaker 1: just the other day too, But the amount of side

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Speaker 1: effects if you read the instructions on some of the boxes,

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Speaker 1: like the paper is like the iTunes user agreement with

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Speaker 1: all the side effects that women go through, like words

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Speaker 1: I've never heard before. It's just guys, if you do

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Speaker 1: yourself a favor, just see what possibly could go through

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Speaker 1: women could go through from taking birth control. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: pretty bad. Okay, I had three kids. Here's something an

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Speaker 1: innocent cleaning excursion in the right circumstances will lead to

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Speaker 1: a full on reorganization of all the furniture in the house. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's like working a puzzle. I know that

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Speaker 1: fancy makeup takes a very long time. Yes, definitely, without

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Speaker 1: a doubt. Moisturizer goes on your body, not just your face. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and they're different. There's a face one and a body one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a very important Alex will use just Jurgen's lotion

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Speaker 1: or whatever on his face. You don't do that. It's

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Speaker 1: not good for your face. You will lose way more

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Speaker 1: hair ties than sucks, without a doubt. I have one

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Speaker 1: in my hair right now. I have two on my

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Speaker 1: wrist because these things go missing all the time. Whose

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Speaker 1: things are always clogging the drain in my house? How okay?

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Speaker 1: Sound like Sheldon? Because my Bobby Pins go down the

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Speaker 1: sink and he's like, huh, the plumber came again, look

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Speaker 1: what he found. And if Pins and I get shoved

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Speaker 1: down there, how they get down there? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I realized that when my hair was long, I would

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Speaker 1: be like, where's my thing? And they just vanished. I

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Speaker 1: have no clue where they would always have one on

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Speaker 1: your wrist. That's it, let's list, that's gonna you know.

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Speaker 1: An interesting one that my one of my very best

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Speaker 1: friends and her husband got into an argument about was

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Speaker 1: unless you live with a woman, you don't understand that

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Speaker 1: we use at least twice as much toilet paper as

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Speaker 1: you guys do, So if you have just a little

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Speaker 1: bit left, you can't be like, oh, that's gonna last

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Speaker 1: this a week. No, it's not stop it. They got

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Speaker 1: into a huge fight because he actually tried to have

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Speaker 1: an intervention with her and he said, you're using too

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Speaker 1: much toilet paper. I don't use this much toilet paper.

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Speaker 1: She was like, are you an idiot? This is seriously

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Speaker 1: the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Yes, I didn't know that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's because you don't da have f up, right man, right?

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Speaker 1: Shake you? Yeah? Highly buy single ply for that reason.

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Speaker 1: I have for about ten minutes sometimes hold on. Scary

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Speaker 1: you have a different toilet paper for dabbing than you

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Speaker 1: do for other things. Oh no, I only use one

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Speaker 1: ply toilet paper because I'm in fear of clogged toilets

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Speaker 1: by my girlfriend because she uses a lot whatever I mean,

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Speaker 1: whatever it is, I don't want it. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to deal with a plunger or just robbing under the

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Speaker 1: bus coming I'm afraid of my girlfriend. Don't use more

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Speaker 1: toilet papers per per sting. They use more toilet paper

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Speaker 1: per week in general. Yes, and you do understand that

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Speaker 1: by getting the one ply, she's going to use more

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Speaker 1: because one place you have on your finger too. But

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Speaker 1: you know what your girlfriend with duty on her fingers,

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Speaker 1: you have a nail too. That's not what should I

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Speaker 1: not allow. There's an art to use in one ply?

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Speaker 1: You know you just have to art's there's an art.

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Speaker 1: Yea as much used twice as much. Once again, I

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Speaker 1: know how much you make. Don't get a cheap ass.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not being a cheapass. You know me. I

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Speaker 1: spend money. But when it comes to the dumb things,

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Speaker 1: the things we need for you, but not your girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: silly you kind of cunness her with the one ply

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Speaker 1: like can comment anyone? She goes, why don't you have

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Speaker 1: to plo? I don't understand it. You live high on

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Speaker 1: the hog and everything else? Do you tell her it's

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Speaker 1: because of her? And I don't trust my own toilet

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Speaker 1: ball that's the problem. Wait a minute, you told me

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Speaker 1: you've got the Commander four, that you could put golf

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Speaker 1: balls down all the champion four. Definitely, yes, you're bigger

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Speaker 1: than golf balls. Hold on, I can't hear. What you

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Speaker 1: say is frog. You have golf balls falling onto your

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Speaker 1: aspart you flashing golf ball. The chair eating golf has

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Speaker 1: advertised it can swallow an entire bucket of golf balls

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Speaker 1: in one gulf, but not Robin's poop. No, I never

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Speaker 1: said one. In the bathroom, I flushed a double eagles

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Speaker 1: tears her from staying over, and that's what he wants.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, You guys know, I'm the only one

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Speaker 1: who used scary. You can handle a double ply shaman

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Speaker 1: or something. That was the list. Know it was gaudy

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Speaker 1: that brought up the toilet paper thing. Pretty good, Pretty good, guys,

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Speaker 1: Scary always coming through scary that one plight. Toilet paper

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Speaker 1: is as stin on your butt as that shirt is

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Speaker 1: on you. Well, then you you have single ply t

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Speaker 1: shirt with a with a flushable wipe, and you're good.

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Speaker 1: Those aren't flushable toilets. But they say you're really not them,

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Speaker 1: that's what they said. Most things my butt on this

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Speaker 1: every day. No, that's actually Max. That's Max. They need

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Speaker 1: haircuts desperately. I know they say, not the flush flushible wife,

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Speaker 1: but we've been flushing them forever and they don't clug

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Speaker 1: you to it, so I don't Okay, we don't have

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Speaker 1: a problem. Well, they messed up the sewer system. You

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Speaker 1: just jinx yourself. Frog. I was actually part of a

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Speaker 1: class action lawsuit against some flushable wipes. I got about

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Speaker 1: seventy six cents. Wow, big spender. Can we have Robin

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Speaker 1: on the podcast tomorrow please? Yeah, she's more fun. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: tomorrow and tomorrow only. Okay, yeah that's right. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I see the text now coming to scary. What did

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Speaker 1: you say today my mom? You guys, My mom texted

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Speaker 1: me I heard you talking about us this morning. My

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Speaker 1: friend heard you too, and one of Carol and Bobby's

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Speaker 1: daughter's friends heard you. She called Carol and told her

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Speaker 1: talking about your parents are all swinging with those other people.

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Speaker 1: You guys suggested that my parents could be swingers that

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Speaker 1: tell them not to listen. Tell them not to listen

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Speaker 1: to your show because they're gonna hear things that they

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Speaker 1: can't handle. I suggested your parents friends are actually your

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Speaker 1: real parents. You didn't fathers like spitting image of Elvis

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Speaker 1: yesterday's Brooklyn Boys episode that we recorded episode I did

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Speaker 1: also accuse his parents of swinging because they go everywhere

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Speaker 1: with this couple. This is like a sing Maybe they are.

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Speaker 1: They're best friends, don't you. Guys have parents that have

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Speaker 1: best friends since they were like teenagers and they were

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Speaker 1: like double dating. They've been together forever. They're like, what

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Speaker 1: about if your mom falls asleep early? How do you

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Speaker 1: know that Tony is not like moving it on the

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Speaker 1: other Hey, Carol, why don't you come over? Carol, I'll

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Speaker 1: give you a Brooklyn sausage. You think about this. You

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Speaker 1: know your parents got down you exist? Yeah, I can't think.

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Speaker 1: Brothers and sisters. They like to do it a lot. Yeah, wait,

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Speaker 1: do you look like your parents and not the other people?

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Speaker 1: A little bit? You? All of you all? I bet

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Speaker 1: they're doing it right now. Bob and Row, Carol and Tony.

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Speaker 1: They do have a joining hotel rooms though, okay, we're done.

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Speaker 1: A special knock that they just when they're ready. They

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Speaker 1: got pineapples everywhere. Frogged the fifteen minute Morning Show