1 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: advice on relationship, dating, works, sex, parenting, and more, submit 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com. Click 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. Shirley is out, Steve will read the letter. 5 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: I'll respond, let's go, mister h I don't need that. 6 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: You don't need it. I don't need all of it 7 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: at all, boyfriend, anybody need that Strawberry letter? Do nobody 8 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: need that? Yeah? And the person that needed you ran off? 9 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: So when she comes from all right, here we go. 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in. What dis Stephen, Shirley. 11 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: I've been dating a man for almost four years. I'm 12 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: trying to do the right thing by not living with 13 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: him before we're married. I live alone, and he shares 14 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: a house with a guy that he's been friends forever. 15 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: My boyfriend has one child that he has joint custody of, 16 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 1: but he doesn't really get along with the child's mother. 17 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: I've had a through run ins with the child's mother, 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: but recently things between us got worse when the woman 19 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: moved in with my man and his roommate. The roommate 20 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 1: is dating her. Jesus and my man has no problem 21 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: with that, and he agreed to let her live with them. 22 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: I was so upset when I found out, so to 23 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: keep me calm, my boyfriend spends most nights with me now, 24 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: But this woman has made life a living hell for 25 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,400 Speaker 1: me so far. Whenever my boyfriend and I have plans, 26 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 1: she will leave the house at the last minute, leaving 27 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: my boyfriend with the baby because I can't get mad 28 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: because it's his child. But I know the child's mom 29 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: is doing this on purpose. She's also posting pictures on 30 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: social media of the three of them, my man, her 31 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: and the baby like they won big happy family. My 32 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: man told me to cheer out because as long as 33 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: she's dead, he doesn't have to give her as much 34 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: money because she's not paying rent anymore. Look, I don't 35 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: want to be naive and not look at the bigger picture. 36 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: You think my boyfriend may be enjoying this arrangement. I 37 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: found it odd that he has no problem with his 38 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: best friend dating his child's mother. Is that odd? Or 39 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: am I just looking for reasons to hate on this girl? 40 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: Stephen Sherley, what do you think is really going on here? 41 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: All right? Steve, to this lady You've been taking this 42 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: man for about four years, and you all are trying 43 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: to wait until you get married to live together. So 44 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: what's taking a song? Four years? That's a long time anyway. 45 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: He lives in a house with his best friend. He 46 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: has joint custody of his child, and you and his 47 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: baby mama, you guys are beefing now. His baby mama 48 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: has moved into the house with your man. At first 49 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: you said guy and roommate, and then later in the 50 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: letter you said his best friend. So that's a difference. 51 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 1: That's a big difference to me. And now she's dating him. 52 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: You had a problem with all of that, you know, 53 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: them all living together under this run one roof, but 54 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: your man is cool with it, and he spends most 55 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: of his nights with you, so you feel like old girls. 56 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: She's causing problems because she's posting pictures of you and 57 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: your man and the child on social media like they're 58 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: just one big, happy family. But baby mama is slick, 59 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: you know, because when you and your man, you guys, 60 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: make plans, she leaves him with the child and your 61 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: man he says that he's cool, he's cool with her 62 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: living there, and he wants you to chill out because 63 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: he feels like that's less money he has to put out, 64 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: you know, to take care of the kid and her. 65 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: So I think he's just trying to keep the peace, 66 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: spend less money see his child. But I find it 67 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: hard to believe Steve that he is cool with his 68 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 1: best friend dating his baby mama and they all live together. 69 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: There's something wrong with that to me. So is he 70 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 1: lying about them being together? I don't know, but I 71 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: know you don't trust him. And if you want this man, 72 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: you don't trust him. You need to talk to him 73 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: and work out some issues because you are going to 74 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,599 Speaker 1: be dealing if you gonna married this man and be 75 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: with him, you're gonna be dealing with her baby mama 76 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: drama for a very long time because they have a 77 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: child together. So your feelings are valid, and I'm not 78 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: saying they're not, but you have to come to terms 79 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: and see what's going on with the three of them. 80 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: What's happening with that, Steve. Let me just get to 81 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 1: this letter right here. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in, 82 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: you saying has moved in with his best friend who 83 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: they are now seeing each other, and the baby then 84 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: moved in to let me, let me, let me, let 85 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 1: me say something to you. Black dudes don't do this, Okay. 86 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: White dudes don't do this. Latino dudes don't do this. 87 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: Native American dudes don't do this. Asian men don't do this. 88 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: I don't know of any group of men that will 89 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: go along with this arrangement. First of all, my best 90 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: friend ain't dating my ex that's got my baby, Okay, 91 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: and he's dating her and me and him live together. 92 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: And now she then fell on hard times and then 93 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: moved into that house. What this is the most unbelievable 94 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,799 Speaker 1: piece of mess I've ever heard of in a long time. 95 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: This is virtually impossible to do. First of all, here's 96 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: what I think the deal is. And I got thirty seconds, 97 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: so you know what I'm gonna do. I'm old this 98 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:34,840 Speaker 1: what's called a cliffhanker. Here's exactly what I think is 99 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 1: going on. I'm gonna tell it to you when we 100 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 1: get back, and you can feel how you want to feel. 101 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: But this right here, this stinks. This hasn't older to it. 102 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you what I'm smelling right after this, 103 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: good twenty three after the hour, Steve will break it 104 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: down right after this. You're listening, okay, Steve, come on, 105 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Lakes. This is crazy. The name 106 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: of this letter is my boyfriend's ex girlfriend has moved in. 107 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: But that ain't the clicker moving in with who it was. Hell, 108 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: you've been with this man for four years and you're 109 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: trying to do the right thing by not living with 110 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: him before y'all marriage, that's what you call doing the 111 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: right thing. Well, your boyfriend got a child that he 112 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: got joint custody with this other girl. But now the 113 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: story is he don't really get along with the child's mother, right, 114 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: and you didn't had a couple run ins with a 115 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: two The roommate who is his best friend is not 116 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: dating the girl that his best friend had a baby with. 117 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: What do that? What those straight left right there? What 118 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: the roommate is dating her and your man ain't got 119 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: no problem with the fact that he agreed to let 120 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: her live with them. Wait a minute, what girl, girl? What? 121 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: How when you was typing this letter how to sound 122 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: to you? Because this right here stinks. Like I said earlier, 123 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: black dudes don't do this, White dudes don't do this. 124 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: Latino dudes don't do this. Native American dudes don't do this. 125 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: Asian dudes don't do this. Not about covered everybody I 126 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: can think of. I don't know no dudes that do this. 127 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: Now I could be wrong. I've never heard of this. 128 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 1: But here's what I think then happened. I think him 129 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: and the extra don't get along, fell on some hard 130 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: times now in order to give her a place to stay, 131 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,079 Speaker 1: he didn't construct it and construe this whole thing with 132 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: his best friend and her to go along that they 133 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 1: are a couple. Now they I think they've created this 134 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: story that they're dating. I want you to say, y'all 135 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 1: dating so she can come and live here. You say, 136 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,559 Speaker 1: to keep the peace. Most nights he spends the night 137 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 1: at your house to keep the peace. But some nights 138 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: he don't. So when he your house, who bade her 139 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: and the baby in? I can promise you it ain't 140 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: cross the hall with his best damn friend. So I 141 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: think this smells like a dude that's trying to help 142 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,199 Speaker 1: his girl out, created some story that they're best friend 143 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: so she can live there. Now. He true, he part 144 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: of it. This is true where he ain't paying the rent, 145 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: he ain't got to pay as much child for it 146 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: because he ain't gotta paying no rent. But the rest 147 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: of his stinks. This don't make no damn say she 148 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: ain't had nowhere else to go. Well, her mama, well, 149 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: her daddy, well, her sister. Right, she overheard her excess house. Now, 150 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: your man told you to chill out as long as 151 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: she said, he ain't got to pay no money. Now, 152 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: I don't want to be naive and not look at 153 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: the bigger picture. Do you think my boyfriend may be 154 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: enjoying this arrangement? Well, I'm saying, uh yeah, she said, 155 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 1: I find it odd that he has no problem with 156 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: his best friend dating his child's mother. Is that? Is 157 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: it all? This is crazy? This don't even happen as crazy. 158 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: Is this crazy? This is unheard of as a male species. 159 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: This is not how we function. You cross the hall 160 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: banging my ex girl? Where the baby at? Who's the 161 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: mother of your child? Dog? Where is the baby at? 162 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: Why all this is going on? This my daddy, but 163 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: my daddy over that laying up with the other man. 164 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: What hold has soul? This to the baby? And then 165 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: when you go out, she leaves early and lead a 166 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,079 Speaker 1: baby with him. But hold up. She posting pictures online 167 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: the three of them like they want big happy family. 168 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: Where she getting the pictures of the three of them, 169 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: matt at the house where the four of them stay? Huh? 170 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: She getting the pictures of the thread and where the 171 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: four stay? Where is your man? Your dude that's dating her? 172 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: Why they ain't on social media with their picture? You 173 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 1: know why? Because he got another chick somewhere and he 174 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: can't explain this to no other chick black, white, yellow, 175 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: green or brown, that he is grewing his best friends. 176 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: Girl that's got his baby that stay in the bedroom 177 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: across the hall. What the girl? What girl? What that? Yeah? 178 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: Where's this? Yes? What? What? What? Country? What village? What towns? 179 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: What space station? Why they do this? What parish? Where's this? 180 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 1: What dungeon? What basement? They doing this? Girl? Girl? Are 181 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: you being done? Naives? He enjoying this arrangement. He got 182 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: her over there, He got her over hilled you over there. 183 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 1: The baby got a place to say, he could see 184 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 1: his son when he wants to. She go out when 185 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: you want to, because she got to build in babysity. 186 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: She going along with the arrangement because she trying to 187 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: squeeze it back in. She posted in pictures to throw 188 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: your ass into something because she want him back, and 189 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: if you keep letting this go on, she gonna get 190 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: him back. Yes, she got him now if they living 191 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 1: in the same place, you you did the right thing 192 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: by not living there. What her right thing at all? Right? 193 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey 194 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 1: FM on the Gram or on Facebook. Look and check 195 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcasts on demand now coming up 196 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: at forty six after the hour, It's homeschooling is going on, 197 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: and we're dealing with this. We're gonna talk about it 198 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: right after this. My child from the flunk though, that's 199 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: what you're listening to, the same morning show.