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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house. Oh yeah, my husband hid photos of

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Speaker 2: another woman, and now I'm questioning our entire marriage.

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Speaker 1: I would too.

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Speaker 2: I already have someone booked for us to see and

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Speaker 2: for context. This is my second marriage. My current husband,

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Speaker 2: thirty three male, and I thirty eight female, have been

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Speaker 2: together for two years. I have two kids from my

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Speaker 2: previous marriage and a baby with my current husband. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from a present pictures And if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: r slash okay storytime subreddit. And I'm Angie, I'm Riley,

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Speaker 2: and we're here to give you good advice. Goofu ye.

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

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Speaker 2: what we would do in the situation. So let us

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Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. Ohp sets

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Speaker 2: husband has two phones, one personal and one for work.

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Speaker 1: I bet that's for work.

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Speaker 2: He was charging his work phone on my nightstand and

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Speaker 2: left the house to run a few errands. Temptation got

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Speaker 2: the best of me, and I decided to go through

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Speaker 2: his photos with no initial suspicion, just out of nowhere.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna snoop.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I do that all the time with you.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I make sure that your fabrics are good and you're

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Speaker 1: not making any other fabrics I should be, you know,

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Speaker 1: worried about. Okay, make sure they're all girly. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I see any navy or brown. I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: asking questions.

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Speaker 2: I know where your fall cabinet is, I know where

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Speaker 2: you keep all that fabrics I have. I have a

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Speaker 2: project coming up that is not that is gonna be

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Speaker 2: using a lot of dark colors. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So see how she communicated that to me? And I

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Speaker 1: figured that out by myself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, see how I had to communicate that after he

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Speaker 2: yelled at me. I was just saying things a little bit,

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Speaker 2: you know, on the upper side, the upper of your

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Speaker 2: I'm sure sure this is not the first time. The

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Speaker 2: last time I did this was about a year ago.

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Speaker 2: I'm not proud of this, But to my defense, husband

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Speaker 2: has a history of some sketchiness, and each time I've

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Speaker 2: looked over his phone, I've found something incriminating or that

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Speaker 2: crosses my boundary married to him. For example, once we

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Speaker 2: got into a big fight and he went and parked

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Speaker 2: his car somewhere at night, knowing that I could track

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Speaker 2: the car. He then ordered an uber to a massage

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Speaker 2: parlor at nine thirty pm at night, which I found

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Speaker 2: out because his work phone at home was connected to Uber.

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Speaker 1: Dude, we know why I went there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, massage parlors are not open past nine

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Speaker 2: thirty for innocent reasons.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you did go to a massage parlor recently past

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Speaker 1: nine thirty? What him was our It was like eighty

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Speaker 1: nine thirty. We went together, we were gonna be done

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Speaker 1: around like past nine thirty. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, nothing suspicious happened there, and we are both witnesses

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Speaker 2: to each other. He claims that he just went to

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Speaker 2: get a regular massage and that he just didn't want

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Speaker 2: me to know. Sure sure thing was a nice you

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Speaker 2: know in the wall massage place. Yeah, yeah, I definitely, dude, we.

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Speaker 1: Got Sam has a hilarious story while he was in Bali,

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Speaker 1: he went to a hole in the wall massage parlor,

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Speaker 1: thinking like, oh, it's Hold the World restaurant. Maybe that's

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Speaker 1: the same kind of vibe.

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Speaker 2: It's like, you know, low key and like, oh, it'll

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Speaker 2: have that kind of real like you know, cultural experience

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Speaker 2: or or.

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Speaker 1: Or yeah, exactly different.

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Speaker 2: You would think you would think that's well, that's what

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Speaker 2: he thought. On his bachelor party. He also tried to

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Speaker 2: meet up with a girl that he met while he

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Speaker 2: was there. Bro. He invited her to meet his group

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Speaker 2: of friends in a nightclub and was sending photos of

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Speaker 2: her in a swimsuit to all of the guys in

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Speaker 2: the group chats. So bachelor parties usually happened before the wedding, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so we continue to marry this guy, not at all

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Speaker 2: saying that it's your fault, just saying that he's not

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Speaker 2: worth it. He also went to a spicy club while

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Speaker 2: I was visiting a friend overnight, knowing that I don't

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Speaker 2: tolerate that. Okay, so here's where we had suspicion.

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Speaker 1: I'm on four. I've counted four.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm sure this is just like a few examples.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure there's more, but these are the most notable ones.

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Speaker 2: I guess the part of me wanted to check in

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Speaker 2: and see whether he was behaving better now that he

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Speaker 2: is a new father to our four month old baby.

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Speaker 1: Yay, that fixes everything. Good.

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Speaker 2: What I found this time made my stomach drop.

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Speaker 1: Oh no.

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Speaker 2: There was a hidden folder in his photo albums full

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Speaker 2: of screenshots and clips of women from social media. Some

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Speaker 2: were in swimsuits or doing workouts, and it made me

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Speaker 2: really uncomfortable seeing how focused those photos and videos work.

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Speaker 2: There was even a video of someone we actually know,

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Speaker 2: a mom at the pool. My goodness. Some of the

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Speaker 2: photos were of his friend's wives, an old coworker, even

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Speaker 2: a close friend of mine. No, oh, my gosh, Okay,

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Speaker 2: that makes it crazy. If it was just random like influencers,

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's already a problem.

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Speaker 1: But it's it's it's the level of separation is closer. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's less separation, so you know these people, you

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Speaker 2: could probably call these people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes it.

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Speaker 2: You could you know their names, you know their children?

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, yeah, and you know what they look like

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Speaker 2: in the bathing suit. Crazy. The one that hit me

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Speaker 2: the hardest was a mom friend from the sports team

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Speaker 2: he coaches, dressed up for an event, and the photo

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Speaker 2: was clearly taken to highlight her appearance. The dates on

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Speaker 2: the screenshots went back to last year, with some as

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Speaker 2: recent as just three days ago. Oh no, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I'm burning the phone last year, dude.

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Speaker 1: Also, what does he do for work that needs an

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Speaker 1: other phone?

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Speaker 2: Good question? How many phones do we have here in

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Speaker 2: this workplace? That's not true?

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Speaker 1: Oh oh in our workplace? Yeah? Two three?

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Speaker 2: What workplace you're talking about?

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Speaker 1: John has one? One, two three?

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Speaker 2: We have about eight?

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Speaker 1: Or no, thirteen thirteen?

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Speaker 2: Maybe he has a right re read it YouTube channel.

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Speaker 1: No, he doesn't. That phone would not be with him

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Speaker 1: all the time. That phone would be connected to a

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Speaker 1: computer doing its own thing. Wrong. I know how this works.

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Speaker 2: I felt sick to my stomach and ran to the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: After that, I took photos with my phone of everything

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Speaker 2: that I saw. When he got home, I calmly approached

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Speaker 2: him and put my phone in front of him, showing

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Speaker 2: him the photos that I had taken of his phone,

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Speaker 2: asked if he could explain it, and he stuttered and

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Speaker 2: laughed for about thirty seconds until all he could muster

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Speaker 2: was Okay, what about it? Oh? What about what about

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Speaker 2: my fist in your face?

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Speaker 1: Dude?

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Speaker 2: Oh? What about that? It's huh dude, huh that he laughed.

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Speaker 2: I'm guessing it was nervous laughter, but maybe it wasn't.

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Speaker 2: If it wasn't, I would be maybe angry. I was

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Speaker 2: usually a very emotional person, but in this case, I

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Speaker 2: was able to remain calm. And I think it's because

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Speaker 2: of how much ick I was feeling. I confronted him

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Speaker 2: and asked why he had all that saved. I pulled

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Speaker 2: my phone back before he could grab it. He admitted

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Speaker 2: that he took the screenshots, but said he didn't know why.

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Speaker 1: Dump response, You took the screenshots, hit them in a

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Speaker 1: hidden folder? Yeah, I have no idea.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I don't no, no, I just woke up and

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Speaker 2: then where they are.

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Speaker 1: Same response to middle schooler has when he punches his friend.

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Speaker 1: It's like, why'd you punch your friends?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I literally was thinking about it the other day, where

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Speaker 2: like I like cut myself with the razor when I

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Speaker 2: was like eight or something, because I just saw my

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Speaker 2: It was like my big sisters like.

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Speaker 1: Razor, like shaving their legs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so like I like cut my ankle though

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Speaker 2: because I had never shaved my legs, didn't know what

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Speaker 2: to do with it. I was just curious. And then

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Speaker 2: I was crying and screamed for my mom and She

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Speaker 2: was like, what happened? What did you do? And I

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Speaker 2: was like, I don't know, but it's because I thought

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Speaker 2: I was gonna get in trouble.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I see, you know what I mean. You're trying

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Speaker 1: to be like your sisters.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly so kids. No, when if someone tells you

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Speaker 2: they don't know why they did something, it is because

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Speaker 2: they think they're gonna get in trouble.

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Speaker 1: I can't put it into words.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he claimed it was just something he did without

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Speaker 2: thinking whenever he saw something that caught his eye. You're

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Speaker 2: really digging yourself a hole, my guy. He kept saying

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Speaker 2: it wasn't personal and that it didn't mean anything, and

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Speaker 2: that he never did anything inappropriate with the photos. I

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Speaker 2: don't believe that for one second.

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Speaker 1: He never did anything inappropriate with the photos that came unprompted.

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Speaker 1: That's where I'm gonna be like diving.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, especially even if it didn't come unprompted, Like even

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Speaker 2: if she suggested something and he's just like, oh, it's

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Speaker 2: still it's like, dude, it's okay. First of all, I

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Speaker 2: feel like that could go another way. That's still just

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Speaker 2: as wrong. In my opinion. If you have all these

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Speaker 2: pictures of half naked women that we know, and you're

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Speaker 2: saying it doesn't mean anything. Now you're degrading these women,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Now it's another issue because

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Speaker 2: now you don't care about these women appreciate their beauty. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: in a way.

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Speaker 1: I think we should focus on the other issues than

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Speaker 1: this one.

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Speaker 2: Just focus on the truth, my guy.

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Speaker 1: It's sort of like you know, the like hierarchy of needs. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the one below appreciating women's beauty is a guy not

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Speaker 1: being a creep. So I think that's what we need to.

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Speaker 2: We need to Yeah, bottom line, let's do that.

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Speaker 1: I love how how high you thought he was on

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Speaker 1: that triangle.

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Speaker 2: I didn't think either way he appreciated the women.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 2: But like if like you hear about people hooking up

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Speaker 2: or something like that, ew okay, well, if you think

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Speaker 2: about that kind of relationship, what that is like, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it might be some sort of scandalous like mistress situation,

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Speaker 2: that's still like scummy. But if you're doing that cheating

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Speaker 2: on your wife with another woman, for example, this isn't

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Speaker 2: the exact situation here. But not only that, but you

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Speaker 2: also like don't give a crap about the woman that

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Speaker 2: you were hooking up with that's messed up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to say with like these pictures. God,

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Speaker 2: I mean, instead of losing my temper, I told him

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Speaker 2: how embarrassed and ashamed I felt. I said his behavior

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Speaker 2: was completely inappropriate and made me uncomfortable. I told him

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Speaker 2: to delete everything, unfollow anyone he had saved content from,

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Speaker 2: and even find a new hairdresser since she was in

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Speaker 2: there too. Oh my god. He agreed, but only if

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Speaker 2: I deleted the proof from my phone. Absolutely not, absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'll delete it, but I'm sending it to

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Speaker 1: another phone.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna like print it out really fast. There

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Speaker 2: we go, There we go. Of course, he tried to

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Speaker 2: spin this as another instance of me invading as privacy,

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Speaker 2: but I made sure not to allow him to pull

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Speaker 2: focus from the topic at hand. Eventually, he did apologize,

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Speaker 2: and he did so multiple times over the course of

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Speaker 2: twenty four hours. He said there were no excuses for

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Speaker 2: what was on his phone, and that it was gross

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Speaker 2: and creepy behavior, and that he also apologized for how

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Speaker 2: it makes me feel. I appreciate that he owned up,

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Speaker 2: but I still have the ache.

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Speaker 1: Can't get rid of that.

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Speaker 2: You really can't. I know that nothing I did cause

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Speaker 2: his behavior. I've given everything to my husband, emotionally and physically,

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Speaker 2: always ready for spicy sleeve whenever wherever. I've been supportive

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Speaker 2: of his career in hobby, I carried his baby. I

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Speaker 2: take good care of myself. I'm smart, and I have

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Speaker 2: a great job. Even with that assurance, there's still that

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Speaker 2: voice in the back of my head that keeps saying

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Speaker 2: nothing you can do is enough. You are not enough,

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Speaker 2: and I hate that My husband, the one who is

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Speaker 2: supposed to protect me and my heart and with whom

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Speaker 2: I should be able to be most vulnerable, is the

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Speaker 2: reason for those thoughts. Right now, it's business as usual.

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Speaker 2: I've pulled back affection and sweetness while remaining polite and

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Speaker 2: cooperative so that we can tackle our priorities. We were

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Speaker 2: about to pull down an offer on a house, but

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Speaker 2: I told him I'm pulling out until I can't process

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Speaker 2: my feelings.

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Speaker 1: Smart smart, and it's smart.

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Speaker 2: He's been in the doghouse for the past few days

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Speaker 2: and is getting to the point where I can tell

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Speaker 2: he is trying to get a rise out of me,

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Speaker 2: to get me emotional or engage me. But I refuse

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Speaker 2: to let it rile me up. He also keeps telling

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Speaker 2: me that I need to stop allowing a dark cloud

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Speaker 2: to hang over our household in relationship, but I keep

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Speaker 2: reminding him that I'm allowed to feel how I feel

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Speaker 2: and still need time to process everything. I am fully

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Speaker 2: aware of the trust issues I have, and I also

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Speaker 2: believe that they are well founded. I've forgiven him for

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Speaker 2: the broken boundaries in the past and believed the best

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Speaker 2: moving forward because in most other ways he is a

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Speaker 2: fantastic partner and teammates and extremely hard working day He's

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Speaker 2: just you know how people have, like addictions and everything.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: This probably his addiction could be it's like the lust

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Speaker 1: that he has.

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Speaker 2: To find addicted to be a scumming eye. I know

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Speaker 2: it can be a real addiction.

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Speaker 1: But that's probably the very underlying thing, because it seems

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Speaker 1: like he's a good guy outside of this.

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Speaker 2: Apparently if you took all this weird.

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Speaker 1: Stuff out, so I'll do. It's like, seems like she

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Speaker 1: still wants to like put an effort even though he's

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Speaker 1: given her so many reasons to leave. Yeah it's tough. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because also she was married before she's divorced. Divorce again.

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Speaker 2: I think she should bro does not want to.

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Speaker 1: Change, not at all.

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Speaker 2: You stop putting a rain cloud, a dark cloud over

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Speaker 2: our household end relationship.

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Speaker 1: Huh. I wondering how this guy here?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, well, I'm sorry, I can't change the weather.

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Speaker 1: Yeah weather boy, Huh how about you change it? Make

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Speaker 1: it all the sunshine.

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Speaker 2: I guess I want input on where to go from

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Speaker 2: here because the idea of another divorce sounds terrible. I

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Speaker 2: don't think I could do that to my kids again,

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Speaker 2: nor do I want to create that future for our baby.

295
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Speaker 2: Is it crazy to contemplate the idea of staying together

296
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Speaker 2: for convenience or just for the kids, even if love

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Speaker 2: and attraction is lost. And there are some comments.

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Speaker 1: I knew she probably didn't want to divorce again.

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Speaker 2: That's yeah. I have my thoughts, but I'm gonna see

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00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,880
Speaker 2: these comments. Say it before the government. Yeah, let's see coming.

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Speaker 2: Number one says he's been doing this for years and

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Speaker 2: you still married and had a baby with him. Why

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00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,280
Speaker 2: kind of it? Too? Says Yes, it is crazy to

304
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Speaker 2: put your kids in a home where there is resentment

305
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,840
Speaker 2: and boundary crossing, lying behavior for your convenience. Too late,

306
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,960
Speaker 2: you already did it to your kids by not walking

307
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,080
Speaker 2: away the first, second, third, fourth time he was inappropriate

308
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,880
Speaker 2: and didn't care about your feelings. Do not fall for

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00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 2: sunk cost fallacy. Set aside your shame, your guilt, your worry,

310
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Speaker 2: and focus on your kids. Once you have stabilized their

311
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Speaker 2: lives and freed them from being trapped in your miserable situation,

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00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: then you can figure out why you made those choices

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Speaker 2: and work through your stuff so you don't move them

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Speaker 2: into a whole Number three's home moving forward. Okay, yeah,

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00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 2: like if she got with a third and we do

316
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,120
Speaker 2: have an update, but yeah, I agree with those comments.

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Speaker 2: I think definitely don't do it for the.

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Speaker 1: Kids cost fallacy. Yeah, that would always hit hard. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Really well, if you're like, you know, I spent like

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Speaker 1: three years in this relationship, everything's going good. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to give that up. Yeah, no, completely miserable.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like three years versus forever. You can barely

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Speaker 2: do three years. I doubt you could do like sixty.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think too, like I think there's such

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Speaker 2: an idea about like saving the kids from this, and

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Speaker 2: it's like, sure, you don't want your kids to experience

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Speaker 2: bad things. But guess what, bad things happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and they have.

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Speaker 2: To and someday they're going to be an adult and

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Speaker 2: have to deal with the same exact problem if you

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Speaker 2: stay with him, So make them war riors of life now, honestly,

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Speaker 2: I mean, go through that divorce that you gotta do.

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Speaker 2: Put him in the jungle, because listen, like if it

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00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,720
Speaker 2: was a grief kind of situation of like, oh, your

336
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,120
Speaker 2: father passed away somehow, it's like you can't just pretend

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00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,200
Speaker 2: that your kid's dad is alive until they're an adult

338
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 2: and then break the news, you know what I mean.

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00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 2: It's like it's that same kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: That's a good point.

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Speaker 2: They're gonna be adults and have to deal with this

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Speaker 2: in an adult way eventually, so there's no use in

343
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Speaker 2: saving them now or something.

344
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 1: Traumatize a little bit, give them something to worry about

345
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Speaker 1: when they get older.

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Speaker 2: It's just how laughing is you just got to with it.

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00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 2: Think of a kid that wasn't traumatized. How boring are they?

348
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 2: So they're not funny, They have no characteristics. They're too good,

349
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 2: they're too like perfect.

350
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 1: Now, think of yourself, think about the trauma you have,

351
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 1: and how funny you.

352
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,240
Speaker 2: Are gives a pat on the back, dude, what you're

353
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:31,840
Speaker 2: doing great. We do have an update for everyone who

354
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 2: took time to respond and comment constructively. Thank you. I

355
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 2: appreciate the multiple perspectives as well as the support, and

356
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,920
Speaker 2: for those who chose to comment with justifications of his

357
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 2: actions because he is a male, thank you as well.

358
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 2: Reading them out loud was so laughable that it actually

359
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 2: strengthened and helps me validate my own feelings on the

360
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 2: subject at hand. Nice. It's been a roller custer. I've

361
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 2: been working hard to maintain my composure and keep the

362
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 2: focus on my hurt. As a direct result of a

363
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 2: cross boundary and broken trust, I've necessarily been distanced and cold.

364
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,879
Speaker 2: While going about the day. Today, my husband came to

365
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,159
Speaker 2: me wanting to discuss and talk through things again. So

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Speaker 2: I gave him the floor.

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00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 1: Okay, so he's come to you, Okay.

368
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:16,600
Speaker 2: Okay, he apologized. Okay. Each time he would apologize, he

369
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,400
Speaker 2: would throw out an defensive statement or something to make

370
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,920
Speaker 2: sense of his action. Each time I would stop him

371
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 2: and tell him that he just negated his apology by

372
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 2: doing so. After a few hours of tense discussion, I

373
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,239
Speaker 2: blurted out how bleak and depressing our situation was, and

374
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 2: gave him an ultimatum, Oh boy, either enroll in couples

375
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,359
Speaker 2: counseling with me as well as a separate therapist for

376
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,680
Speaker 2: his regular use issues he has dealt with other behaviors

377
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:50,880
Speaker 2: in the past tsting interesting a pattern, or he can

378
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 2: move out by the end of the month.

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Speaker 1: He actually agreed, dude, it's I'm calling it. Yep.

380
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 2: Good two weeks, sure, and you right back to where

381
00:17:59,520 --> 00:17:59,880
Speaker 2: we were.

382
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,439
Speaker 1: I'm backed away. Every were taking pictures of missus Wheeler

383
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 1: going to the grocery store. Yep.

384
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,400
Speaker 2: Anyway, there's more to this story. He apologized again, finally

385
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,000
Speaker 2: without trying to deflect or defend, and so that he

386
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 2: wanted to do whatever it takes to make things right.

387
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 2: In the meantime, I'm also hoping to find a therapist

388
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 2: that can help me with grounding techniques and emotional management

389
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 2: so that I know I'm doing all I can to

390
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,680
Speaker 2: create a safe environment for everyone in our home.

391
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, healing.

392
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,360
Speaker 2: I know that this isn't over, and the work starts now.

393
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 2: There is a lot of rebuilding that needs to happen,

394
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,199
Speaker 2: and I hope with all my heart that we get

395
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 2: to see the reward as a result of the effort

396
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 2: we put in. Yeay, I am putting a lot of

397
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 2: faith in that therapist that you're about to get to

398
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,399
Speaker 2: guide you to the light.

399
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 1: Dude, and you would have so much rage that she'd

400
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 1: give up on a therapist and probably like buy a

401
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,640
Speaker 1: baseball batsh.

402
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 2: What, Riley, you can't say that. We're literally on camera now,

403
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,200
Speaker 2: we're being recorded. You can't say that, Bobbie. Oh no,

404
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 2: you can't expose me like that.

405
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 1: I know who you are. She puts up a facade

406
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 1: every time she gets on this mic. That's this is

407
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 1: not who you are. A good advice. Nah, you do

408
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:15,680
Speaker 1: the opposite. I'm just exposing you for who you really are. No, No,

409
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 1: you wouldn't go to a therapist and work on yourself.

410
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 2: I've been with my therapists for probably three years now.

411
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 1: Actually she is like, she has inspired me to look

412
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 1: into therapy. How well, she's great. I'm very proud of

413
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 1: you on that. By the way.

414
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 2: Oh thanks girl.

415
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 1: Sorry Slay, but.

416
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,880
Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. I really do hope,

417
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 2: OPI that you can like it let out. It's so

418
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 2: easy for people to get stuck in that like, oh, well,

419
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,159
Speaker 2: if we fix this, if we make it past this,

420
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: then we're going to be strong. But that's the thing

421
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 2: is that you're not You're talking.

422
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 1: To a wall. He doesn't want it. Yeah, I'm giving

423
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 1: this guy like a one out of ten of a

424
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 1: wanting to make a change.

425
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 2: I think you really need that ach that you felt like,

426
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,400
Speaker 2: you really need to pay attention to that really zero

427
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,159
Speaker 2: in on that feeling. If you wanted this man to

428
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 2: I don't know, like change, you would have to burn

429
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 2: every massage parlor that exists, get rid of any spicy

430
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 2: related photos any way to even capture spice related photos,

431
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 2: and then he'll maybe think about it and he'll have

432
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,640
Speaker 2: to do that on his own volition though too.

433
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 1: Like earn the massage well, okay, not that, but get

434
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:17,679
Speaker 1: rid of it.

435
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 2: I mean, like the pictures and stuff like like if

436
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 2: you just if you catch someone cheating or whatever this was,

437
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,640
Speaker 2: whatever you can call it, Like, if you catch someone

438
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 2: like that, you can't just be like, okay, here's the

439
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 2: rules from now on, like you have to delete these

440
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 2: pictures unfollowed. Like I know she said that, but that's

441
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 2: not going to do anything. Like if he was offering

442
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 2: that then maybe maybe, but like, that's just the biggest

443
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 2: thing that I feel is like at the bottom line,

444
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 2: you can't go into the controlling version of that, Like

445
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 2: if you get cheated on or something, yeah, that frickin'

446
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 2: sucks and that person's terrible for doing that. But like

447
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 2: you can't then respond in the wrong way and then

448
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 2: start being controlling. You have to let them cheat. But

449
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,959
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story. We've got another one

450
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,679
Speaker 2: can come and right up. My wife caught me cheating

451
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 2: overseas and turned our marriage into her revenge plan. Well,

452
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 2: you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.

453
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty year old guy in the Army on

454
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: a rotation in Europe over Thanksgiving. Me and two of

455
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,479
Speaker 1: my friends got to pass and stayed a long weekend

456
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 1: in nearby city. I told my wife I was going

457
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: to sleep, but we went to a bar instead. She

458
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: found out and we got in a pretty big fight

459
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: about it. By the way, this comes from Okay Firefighter

460
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 1: seventy eight And if you want to spend your own stories,

461
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: what to the r slash Okay story time sub rendit.

462
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 1: I'm Riley, I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully.

463
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,880
Speaker 1: That's our only job. But if you have any thoughts

464
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 1: or questions or concerns, please take a moment right now

465
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,719
Speaker 1: and put those down so we can take time out

466
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 1: of our day to read them. So we went to

467
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 1: a party by nearby college one night and I got

468
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 1: extremely wasted. While I was sitting there, a girl came

469
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: by sat by me. Wick. Okay, storytime. My grandparents met

470
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 1: because my grandma was there to sit my papal's lap,

471
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: and she did it, and they're happily married for over

472
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: fifty years now.

473
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 2: Listen always plays through their dir everyone. We talked about

474
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 2: college and the things she did at school. One thing

475
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 2: led to another and I kissed her. You slide dog.

476
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: After the kiss, I don't remember much nice from what

477
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 1: other people told me. I was begging this girl to

478
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: come back to my hotel, but she refused. I don't

479
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 1: remember how, but I had her follow the friend I

480
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 1: was with so we could talk on his Instagram. This

481
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 1: my wife knows my password.

482
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 2: Too many hoops, too much work for this dude.

483
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: Come on, Gosh, while you were drunk, you knew you

484
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 1: knew to line up your friend's Instagram rather than your own, right,

485
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 1: Come on, The next day, we downloaded an encryptied messaging

486
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: app and gave each other the coats. I told her

487
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: it was because my normal social medias don't work. If

488
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 1: that's the case, do not talk to this man.

489
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what does it even mean? My social media

490
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 2: is don't work, like I know, banned.

491
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: Like, that's what I'm saying. You know what you have

492
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 1: to do if your social media's don't work, like what

493
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 1: you have to be a menace?

494
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to get like because you can report people,

495
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 2: but like it rarely actually gets their account banned.

496
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: So like you could have reported about tens of people.

497
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, twenties, thirties, hundreds.

498
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: We talked for a few days, just getting to know

499
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: each other. Day got back to post. I started feeling

500
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 1: pretty guilty about it. So I called my wife and

501
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 1: asked for a divorce.

502
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: Oh well, did you tell her why you want a divorce?

503
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 1: She asked me if there was anyone else, and I told.

504
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 2: Her no, Okay, so there's our answer.

505
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: You know, just it's that timmy year.

506
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 2: I think we should you know what they say about

507
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: breakup season, just really feeling feeling in the in the

508
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 2: spirit in the breakup season.

509
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 1: Mood, I can already fill the comments of everyone that's

510
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: like in the army, like being like, yeah, you get

511
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 1: incentives if you marry while you're in the army, because

512
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: this guy's twenty and his wife. Yeah.

513
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 2: I mean, like I know people that went to the

514
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 2: army or military whatever they did and got married, like

515
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 2: right out of high school. We see you guys, we

516
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 2: know what the plan is.

517
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's that's a plan usually. I mean they're here.

518
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: Hopefully it works out, but if it doesn't, hopefully we'll

519
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: read about you.

520
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: We'll find we're about to find out.

521
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 1: I guess that was a lie. But I told her

522
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: I just no longer thought we were mature enough for

523
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: a marriage. She was confused because other than the fight

524
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: we had a few days prior, everything was going fine.

525
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: But I still just couldn't tell her. I blocked her

526
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 1: on everything except text after that because she was blowing

527
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 1: up my phone asking questions.

528
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like blocking is not the right answer.

529
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: She was asking so many questions. But what else you

530
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: supposed to do?

531
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is different than a breakup, though. You can't

532
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 2: just be like, hey, we're over and be divorced, like

533
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 2: this is illegal, Like you're you got to get lawyers involved.

534
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 2: You gotta get your your bet if it's taken away,

535
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: if you're in the military.

536
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: Lead.

537
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't just be like yeah, we're done. Blocked

538
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 2: like what what?

539
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's right. They are not mature to be married

540
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: to each other.

541
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 2: Definitely not.

542
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: I kept her number to help her get back on

543
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: her feet. The next day, another girl I had message

544
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: before reached out again. She asked me about linking up before,

545
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: but I told her no at that time because I

546
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 1: was married. This time, she messaged me after seeing I

547
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: had taken my wife out of my social media's. We

548
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: talked for a little bit and I told her we

549
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: were getting a divorce because I wanted to explore being

550
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: polynamorous and dating multiple people, which was not something my

551
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: wife would be okay with. This girl really started trash

552
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: talking my wife things. She was just trying to lighten

553
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: my mood and to get my mind off of possibly

554
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: still loving her. I told her I wasn't okay with

555
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: it and blocked her. This made her mad, and she

556
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: dms my wife's screenshots of our entire conversation.

557
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 2: That's like the definition of of around to find out

558
00:25:58,680 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: for sure.

559
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: Dude, Dude, I mean even if you did stuff with

560
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: this woman, she's still gonna tell your ax about it.

561
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 2: Oh well, I mean I'm glad she did it.

562
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, no, goodness. Technically he is moving within

563
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: the loopholes.

564
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 2: Sure, I guess.

565
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: But we see you. We know what you're doing, what.

566
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: You're doing, We see all these little white lies here, dude,

567
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: we see right through you.

568
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: My wife messaged me and said, I understand you're a

569
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: free man. Now, please tell your girls to stop sending

570
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 1: me screenshots of them talking to you.

571
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 2: It's not helpful.

572
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: Since she saw me mention pollin Amory in that conversation,

573
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 1: she talked to me about it. She told me she

574
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 1: would be willing to try that lifestyle if that's what

575
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: I felt like I needed, and that she just wished

576
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: I had talked to her about it first. She said

577
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: she needed time to learn about it and accept this,

578
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: and during that time she needed me to hold off

579
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: on talking to any other girls and in conversations I

580
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 1: had already started. I was more than willing to do

581
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: this because I love my wife and I really did

582
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 1: want to make things work between us.

583
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: Wait wait what wait? Wait wait wait?

584
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: Wait where are we right? Wait? Wait?

585
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 2: Wait, I'm sorry, what you want to do that because

586
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: you love your wife? You're actually joking, dude, Dude sings

587
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 2: in the health Dude, what for better or worse? We

588
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: need to get this straight.

589
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: Okay, so death through them part dog? Dude, you don't

590
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: remember that, you don't remember when he said that.

591
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: I know I wasn't there, but let me get this

592
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 2: straight though. Okay, let me get this very clear. He

593
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,239
Speaker 2: cheats on her, get divorced over text and he blocks her,

594
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: and then she gets a text from this other woman

595
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: sending screenshots of that other woman's text with Op talking

596
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 2: about polyamory. And then she's like, okay, well if that's

597
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 2: the problem, because he didn't give her, like a real

598
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 2: reason why they were getting divorced, She's like, oh well,

599
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 2: if that's the issue, then like, yeah, I would be

600
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 2: interested in trying polyamory. And then he's like, oh, well,

601
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try polyamory because I love my wife and

602
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 2: she said that she wanted to try it so well,

603
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 2: because I love her, I'm gonna be a good, devoted

604
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: husband who would never cheat on her wife and try

605
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 2: having spicy sleep with other people for her.

606
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: Now that totally checks out.

607
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 2: That is like such a twisted way to do that.

608
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: For a few days, she was different. She didn't try

609
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: to start many conversations, wouldn't show her face on FaceTime

610
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 1: and talk to me differently. You was stressing me out.

611
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: I told her I would take back the idea of

612
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,959
Speaker 1: polyamory and that I only wanted her. She was shocked

613
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 1: and asked if I'm sure I would be happy, and

614
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: I told her I would try to be.

615
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 2: The amount of hate I have in my heart for

616
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 2: this man.

617
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: Like we're reading right through the lines. Man, we know

618
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: what you're doing.

619
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: He is the manipulation level one hundred.

620
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: Over the next few weeks, things seem smoother. She seemed

621
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: happier with me than before. She was sending me tons

622
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: of pictures and videos when I asked, and she was

623
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: willing to talk about anything I wanted to talk about.

624
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: Then I got wasted one night while my crazy X

625
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: was messaging me. I never asked for them, but my

626
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: ex sent me some very noodlely picks, and my wasted mind,

627
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: I saved the photos to APP. I don't know why

628
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: I did it. Right after, my wife was having a

629
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: hard time getting a video sent to me, so she

630
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: suggested logging into my Snapchat and just putting that video

631
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: in my eyes only for herself. I told her she

632
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: could because I wasn't even thinking about what I saved.

633
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: She confronted me about it, and I explained that I

634
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: was wasted and it was a mistake. Dude, it was

635
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: just a mistake. It was wasted. That's what you do videos.

636
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: You just save them to your eyes only while wasted.

637
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: You know, we hear a lot of stories where people

638
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: are cheating and they go through like all of these

639
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 2: lengths to hide that cheating, and they're like, yeah, I

640
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 2: planned all of this out and it's like my mastermind

641
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: projects and I did successfully. This guy's just don't He's

642
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: just getting wasted doing all these things and is not

643
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: even like comprehending. He's just like, yeah, I don't need

644
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 2: to worry about anything. I'm a perfectly good human.

645
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: I don't even know.

646
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 2: And then it's like no, dude, like god, like, you

647
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 2: can't be a cheater and stupid, like come on, at

648
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: least do it in a smart way.

649
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: Come on, I don't know. She asked when I saved them,

650
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: and for some reason, I lied and told her hours ago.

651
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 1: She clocked that and told me that if it was

652
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: really hours ago. Then I wasn't wasted when I did it. True,

653
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: But she also told me she knew it wasn't hours

654
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: ago because it says when the photos were saved.

655
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 2: Double true.

656
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: This has to be the dumbest cheater.

657
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 2: He's stupid we have ever read, and he's even more

658
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 2: dumb for exposing himself on the internet for people to

659
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: talk to him and criticize him.

660
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: He's looking for help and he's in the wrong place.

661
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: Things went back to normal just in time for one

662
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: of my friends to tell his wife about me kissing

663
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: the girl at the party, and his wife told my

664
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: wife she sent me the screenshots, and those two days

665
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: went by. I was able to deny it, but my

666
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: wife reached out to the girl from the party. She

667
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 1: knew who it was because I sent her a screenshot

668
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: of me telling her that we couldn't talk anymore. Not

669
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: only did the girl tell her about the kiss and

670
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 1: the begging her to go back to that hotel, but

671
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: she told her about the messages we've been sending for

672
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: the days before I called for a divorce, which my

673
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: wife didn't know about because I told her we only

674
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 1: started talking after I called That night. My wife decided

675
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: she would stay with me, but things are different again.

676
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: She just doesn't have any other options. This is crazy,

677
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: oh man.

678
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: So frustrating. Yeah, he's clearly a stupid, stupid man.

679
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: My favorite part was when he took accountability.

680
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 2: Which part when was that?

681
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, he hasn't he hasn't done that. Yeah, yeah,

682
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: that's a that's not this one unfortunate. She drills me

683
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 1: with questions and anything she fills is lie. She asked

684
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: the other girl. After the last time I said something

685
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: to her that wasn't fully true, she told me I

686
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: was on my last chance because she had given me

687
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 1: far too many already. All Right, okay, great, okay, not

688
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: to see it, all right, And and like, kudos to her,

689
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: because this man's gonna use his last chance quickly.

690
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 2: He's gonna use it up like with another girl.

691
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: It's like, I love you, I'm gonna just stay with

692
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: you forever. Yeah, and then does something with X.

693
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna give me another chance to get the

694
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 2: thrill of cheating on you.

695
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: All. I appreciate it. Fun fact, if you're in a

696
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 1: polynamory relationship, you won't have that thrill because everyone's gonna

697
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: be okay with it, but you're gonna still figure out

698
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: a way to f it up.

699
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 2: I know you opt that. Yeah, op, polyamorous, you're good

700
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: it up. Yeah.

701
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: Now I'm flying my wife over my Christmas past to

702
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: visit me in Europe. She doesn't trust me to go

703
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: out anymore because of all of this, which is understandable,

704
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: he gets. Yeah, I'm also passing away to see her

705
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: and spend time with her, and this way she'll be

706
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: here for Christmas and her first anniversary and her birthday.

707
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 1: I'm excited, but nervous.

708
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you freaking should be.

709
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, dude, Okay, this is bad. She hasn't

710
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: been eating because she's trying to lose weight fast. She

711
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: won't show her face on FaceTime until her makeup's done.

712
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 1: She doesn't joke like she used to, and even she

713
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: is nervous to see me. I'm just so stressed about

714
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: this and don't know what to do anymore. I won't

715
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 1: divorce her myself, because I was the one that made

716
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: the mistakes, and that is for her to decide to do.

717
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 2: Stupid.

718
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: Where did they find this guy?

719
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 2: And you're defending our country. You're saying all that, and

720
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 2: you're in charge of defending her country.

721
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: He's in the army.

722
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: I don't know what they do, don't they if they

723
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 2: would be more.

724
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: Worrisome if he was like in the Air Force or

725
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: like a navy sual Okay, okay, I would be.

726
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 2: Like, oh, hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here, bring

727
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 2: it back to the stories.

728
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our.

729
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: Sponsored anyways, So I also love her too much and

730
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to leave her. I'm scared she doesn't

731
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 2: actually love me. And we have a freaking update.

732
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: Okay, this is my favorite part because whenever a person

733
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: first post, they're blindly just putting out there everything that's

734
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: coming in their minds. They're putting it on paper, and

735
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: the second time they post, they get hit with reality. Dude, Yeah,

736
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: and then they have to face it and then they

737
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: have to defend themselves.

738
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: You know that all the comments under that story were crazy,

739
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 2: ripping him up hard, Yeah, this is this is gonna

740
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: be good, This is gonna be good. Yeah, what do

741
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: you think he should do? He's the one that messed up,

742
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 2: so she now has to decide.

743
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 1: Dude, I don't know, like I think that's really I

744
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: think I honestly think that this man should just stay

745
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: an army, Yeah, work out a little harder, and never

746
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: talk to a woman. Yeah.

747
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,240
Speaker 2: Ever again, I think that should be part of the training,

748
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 2: is to just chop off the bits, just like you know,

749
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 2: getting utered or whatever. I think that should be a

750
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 2: part of your training. I think we should get shot. No,

751
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 2: I do that. I think he shouldn't talk to women

752
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 2: for like at least three years. Okay, he could come

753
00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 2: back if he didn't talk to a woman for three years, Okay,

754
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 2: I'll give him a chance, then chopping them off. I

755
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,439
Speaker 2: remember getting into an argument one time, like with the Nex,

756
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: and it was like I did something wrong, but like

757
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 2: I didn't think it was that bad, but then it

758
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 2: was like a huge deal and it was like, okay,

759
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 2: well maybe we should just break up then, like if

760
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 2: I'm just like if this hurts you, and like I'm

761
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 2: sorry I did this, but like clearly we're not you know,

762
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 2: I'm just hurting you. And he was like, well, what,

763
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: You're just gonna mess it up and then leave? Well, yes,

764
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 2: yes I am. I think that's what needs to happen

765
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,839
Speaker 2: in these situations because you can't just like if there's

766
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 2: something like this, this is not something that's just like

767
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 2: a oh, sorry, I messed up like the smallest thing.

768
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 2: That's I'm gonna dip. No, you messed up big time, dude,

769
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: like you're a guy and you gotta get out of there.

770
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: I mean, a lot of maturity has to happen. But

771
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: here's a freaking update all right. On my last post

772
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 1: when I explained my mistakes, I was told several times

773
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: that it was clear she wouldn't divorce me, so I

774
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 1: needed to do it myself and tell her it was

775
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 1: because she deserves someone, which I truly do believe.

776
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 2: Okay, However, even.

777
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: After everything she found out, she told me she was

778
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: willing to try and work all these things together, but

779
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: she said she's given me way too many chances, and

780
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 1: the next mistake that happens, she'll cut off my bits,

781
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: which I think is fair. I guess I agree. I

782
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 1: never had spicy sleep with this chick from the bar.

783
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: Just from the bar? Is this from the.

784
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: Earlier I think the bar that the one kiss kiss

785
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: it was.

786
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: Like another one. Granted I asked to, but bottom line

787
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 1: is I didn't. We just kissed and talked. For those

788
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: who don't know, in the military, adultery is against the law.

789
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,479
Speaker 2: Interesting is the punishment cutting off the bits.

790
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 1: Can we fund this man's email and then backtrack to

791
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: his phone number and then figure out a way, because.

792
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,359
Speaker 2: I feel like we could get him prosecuted for sure.

793
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: A very valuable lesson this young man can learn is consequences.

794
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's what he needs. People need more consequences.

795
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 2: Let's get people more consequences.

796
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 1: The last person in our section who got caught cheating

797
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: went from an E seven to a E one and

798
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:12,919
Speaker 1: now lives in barracks at fifty three years old. Fifty three,

799
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, My wife has all the power in

800
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: the world to do the same to me if she

801
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 1: wanted to. She literally has one hundred and nine screenshots

802
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 1: saved to an album just in case hing dude suld

803
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: be one hundred and reasons to leave this man. Yeah,

804
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 1: but I feel close.

805
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have hope. Yeah, but I don't really feel it.

806
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie.

807
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I have hope.

808
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 2: I want you to hold on to that feeling so

809
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 2: that it comes true.

810
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: Back to the topic of my wife visiting, she told

811
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 1: me that I needed to get an SDD test because

812
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 1: of big issues with AIDS here. She said she wasn't

813
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 1: even willing to kiss me if I didn't. As many

814
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:54,879
Speaker 1: STDs are transferable by mouth. Smart woman. Normally I would

815
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: take a test, no problem. However, here I can't. It

816
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 1: would be an automatic Art Article fifteen and open case

817
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 1: because of the infidelity rule.

818
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: Dude, just go somewhere else. Well, I mean, you might

819
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 2: be deployed and might not be able to like, just

820
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: go to the store.

821
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 1: Dude, go to the like. You know, I don't care,

822
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: man Like figure it out. I tell my wife this

823
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 1: and that she would either need to trust me or

824
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 1: get herself tested when she gets back home. If that's

825
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: a big deal for her, I get that. Telling her

826
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: she should just test herself may have been harsh, but

827
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,320
Speaker 1: I really don't have anything to test for.

828
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 2: Edit.

829
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: My wife sent me a clinic in the city. We

830
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: will be staying near there so it could be done

831
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: completely privately. As soon as she is here, I will

832
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: be going and getting tested. She said, I know you

833
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 1: weren't too stupid to use Google. Pull your big fat

834
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 1: skull out from between your butt cheeks and think yes.

835
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:47,280
Speaker 2: I agree.

836
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: Hope you all are enjoying my b because I'll take

837
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: it for as long as I have to. Also, I'm

838
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 1: fully aware I deserve it, But my dang wife has

839
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: been ruthlessly mean. For example, why I told her I

840
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 1: would be unable to get the test and why this

841
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: is her response. So you mean to say maybe you

842
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: shouldn't have done what you did. It's like your literal job.

843
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 1: Does it make you worry that all you fed me over?

844
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,800
Speaker 1: And I have all the power in the world to

845
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: take everything away from you because of it, and not

846
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: just a wasted kiss, but begging for spicy sleep with

847
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 1: another girl, talking to her for multiple days, by going

848
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 1: out of your way and using your friend's phone and

849
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: secret apps. Like I thought, at the very least you

850
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:35,240
Speaker 1: cared about losing your career. At least when I asked

851
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: you why you wouldn't cheat before, you literally said because

852
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 1: I would lose everything. And I love you, But you

853
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 1: couldn't care less about losing everything to you, it was

854
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,919
Speaker 1: effing worth it, your disgusting pick. But like I said,

855
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 1: if you won't get tested, I'm not doing anything with you.

856
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 1: I don't want your studs. Also, don't ever tell me

857
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: I need to trust you again. She's been bullying me

858
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: a bit in sub ways, telling me things like I

859
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 1: wish I had your shoulders. They're just so nice and

860
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: feminine and your confidence is a bit too tall for

861
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: you right now. And you what do you think of

862
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 1: this woman's commentary?

863
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 2: I think it was nice. He was like, yeah, I'm

864
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 2: so terrible and I should be so I did just

865
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 2: be mean to deserve all of the things that are

866
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 2: so wrong. She's totally deserving of this. I totally get it.

867
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 2: But also she's being ruthless to me. She is not

868
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 2: holding back. And all she was saying was what you

869
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: don't want to go get tested because you're gonna get

870
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 2: caught for what you did, for the thing that you

871
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: did to me.

872
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: You don't want to go.

873
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 2: Get tested because there's an infidelity law that you broke.

874
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 2: You broke the law and you're gonna get caught for it.

875
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: Like that's nice, that's on you, man.

876
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, because honestly, at first it got me for a

877
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 2: second and I was thinking like, oh, well, I mean yeah,

878
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 2: I guess like because if it's not, if there's no

879
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 2: scuds and he comes back clean, like you know, he

880
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 2: would lose his job even if there's like nothing. But

881
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: I was I remembered, like a second later, like the

882
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 2: reason we're getting these STD tests is because there was

883
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 2: infidelity and we want to be sure. I mean, come on, dude, she.

884
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: Really likes to ask if I'm keeping up or if

885
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: she needs to go back and explain in a simpler

886
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: way for me when she's talking about really normal stuff.

887
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 1: Is this most people? I love this bullying. This is

888
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 1: when I approve of bullying. And the one that really

889
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 1: digs in is may have the size to cheat. But

890
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: I can't believe you're so willing to show another person

891
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: how fast you finish. Oh, if I were you, that's

892
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 1: the last thing I'd be willing to do. That's so

893
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 1: embarrassing for you. That one stinks. But if it helps

894
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: her blow off steam, then it's okay. Just makes me

895
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: nervous because she's generally pretty vanilla and now all of

896
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,240
Speaker 1: a sudden she's interested in trying non vanilla.

897
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 2: So here's the thing, dude, we gotta look at the

898
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 2: psychology behind this.

899
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: Okay, what does this even happen?

900
00:41:55,560 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 2: I think he is so like otherworldly in a way

901
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 2: that like the other world is way worse, you know

902
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like he's out of this world in

903
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 2: a stupid way. He's on a stupid planet, and he

904
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 2: doesn't understand anything about human emotions at all. What he's

905
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 2: missing is that there's so many things that she's doing

906
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 2: besides like telling him off that are because of his cheating,

907
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 2: that are like his doing her not showing her face

908
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 2: on camera because she's insecure and doesn't want to be

909
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: seen without makeup on insecurity. And it's like she's telling

910
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: him off acting big because she should, but at the

911
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 2: same time, like, yeah, obviously it's going to affect you

912
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 2: on like a personal deeper level, like she's hurt by this.

913
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 2: She's not just big and strong and just bullying you

914
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 2: because she's like having fun like she's hurt. And her

915
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 2: being like insecure about like her weight and stuff is

916
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: to the point where she's not eating. And then the

917
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 2: fact that she's trying to try things that are like

918
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 2: non vanilla and more spicy in bed that is one

919
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,399
Speaker 2: hundred percent because she feels insecure about her performance. Yeah,

920
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 2: and she feels like she's not good enough for you.

921
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 2: She heard about what you're doing with these other girls. Like, dude,

922
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: you are so stupid.

923
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 1: I didn't see a part where you asked her if

924
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: she's doing okay.

925
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just like, oh, I'll take it. No, you're

926
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 2: just waiting for it to be over, like you're not.

927
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 2: You're just waiting for her to like Tom, yeah exactly,

928
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 2: and you're like, well, I love her so much and

929
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 2: I think she deserves better, but I'm not gonna break

930
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: up with her.

931
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,959
Speaker 1: That's her decision anything.

932
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 2: He's just, yeah, you just don't want to do anything,

933
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:30,800
Speaker 2: like you're just so freaking stupid.

934
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: Dude.

935
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so stupid.

936
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,280
Speaker 1: Uh, but we got another one hopefully won't trigger Angie's

937
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 1: on copy.

938
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. Just hearing it from his perspective is wild.

939
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, that was that was crazy. He thought he

940
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: was looking for help.

941
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,919
Speaker 2: I think it's hard when it's like you can't really

942
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 2: ask for help when you're not willing to hear the

943
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,879
Speaker 2: actual right answer. Here's how I ft everything up. How

944
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 2: can I just go on like nothing happened even though

945
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: this this is this happening, and she heard my foot

946
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 2: through my feelings because she's being mean to me because

947
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 2: I freaking cheated on her. Goodness gracious, And we got

948
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 2: another story.

949
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 1: We gotta get off of that. Hey, it's John here og,

950
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 1: host of the show. We're gonna get back to these

951
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: juicy stories. But here's a quick three minutes of ads

952
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

953
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 2: My wife ran from a fake intruder and left our

954
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 2: babies behind.

955
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: She just got priorities. Man, what I just wanted to do? Gosh.

956
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 2: My thirty four male wife forty two female is a

957
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 2: stay at home mom. Last week, when I was at

958
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 2: work and my two oldest were at school, five mail

959
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,959
Speaker 2: and three male, my wife was sitting at the dining

960
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 2: room table when she saw a man with what looked

961
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 2: like a hammer walking down the driveway towards our front door.

962
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 2: He tried to get in. I'm like, oh, that's terrifying.

963
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

964
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Pine one, three, two,

965
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 2: four or five. And if you want to submit your

966
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,359
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash okay story times

967
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 2: supreddit And I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and we're here to

968
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 2: give good advice. Goofily. Yeah, we don't have all the answers, Nope,

969
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 2: we just know what we would do.

970
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: Perhaps let us know what you.

971
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 2: Would do in the comments below, please, so oh p set.

972
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 2: She went to the door and the guy saw her

973
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 2: and waved, still trying to enter. She fled out the

974
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,800
Speaker 2: back door, leaving herself phone an Apple watch. She also

975
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 2: left our twin girls eight months old sleeping in their cribs.

976
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: She ran through the neighborhood looking for someone to call

977
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 2: the police. Oh my gosh. Eventually she found someone. The

978
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 2: police responded and cleared the house. It turned out to

979
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 2: be a repair guy who was supposed to go to

980
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,720
Speaker 2: our neighbor's house.

981
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: Yep. Yeah, and I know exactly. I know exactly who.

982
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 2: Went through her brain. It's because he looked a bit scary.

983
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 2: He was perhaps a little large. But this is in

984
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 2: broad daylight at the same time. This is when the

985
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,920
Speaker 2: five year old and the three year old are at

986
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 2: school and op is at work. This is not like

987
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 2: late at night, it's dark. I can only little because

988
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 2: then he was probably seeing her run through the neighborhood

989
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 2: and try to find people, and he's probably like.

990
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 1: Sorry, what's going on. Also, if he's a repair guy,

991
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,399
Speaker 1: he's probably got like a company on him.

992
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 2: It's got a car, you know.

993
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: But I'm thinking, like, you know, hammer, there's a large

994
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 1: guy six foot plus. Yeah, perhaps like he's got a

995
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 1: beard or whatever. It looks a little scary.

996
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could give her that. And I mean, I

997
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: guess the fact that he's like trying to get in

998
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 2: without like knocking or something is weird. I do wonder

999
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 2: if that's what I need A ring camera for this. Yeah,

1000
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: I need like video evidence of what actually happens and

1001
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 2: to see and then I can judge her.

1002
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: But it is worrisome that her first response was to

1003
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:42,839
Speaker 1: flee and not take the kids with her. That is worrisome. Yeah,

1004
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: mother's thoughts, what are we doing here?

1005
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 2: Let us know he had been told that no one

1006
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 2: would be home and to just come in.

1007
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: Okay, okay?

1008
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 2: What answer is that she's mad at me for not

1009
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 2: being more supportive. I was stunned when she told me,

1010
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 2: especially when she said that she left the girls. She

1011
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 2: constantly yells at me about how I don't do enough

1012
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 2: for the kids, unlike her, who sacrifices constantly. According to her.

1013
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 2: Oh goodness, I don't think that's accurate. But that's besides

1014
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 2: the point. We've been having major issues in our marriage

1015
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 2: for a long time.

1016
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: This was just the straw on the camel's back.

1017
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 2: Sounds like it. She's acting like this is one of

1018
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,399
Speaker 2: the most traumatic events of her life, which is making

1019
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 2: me madder and madder. I am having a hard time

1020
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 2: putting this behind me. If this guy had been a

1021
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 2: bad guy, she would have abandoned our girls to him

1022
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 2: to save herself. Our house isn't that big, and people

1023
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 2: in the neighborhood. No, we have two little girls. I

1024
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 2: honestly don't know what to do. This happened about a

1025
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,279
Speaker 2: week ago. I spent about an hour on the phone

1026
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 2: with her that day trying to console her. Tried again

1027
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 2: that night, and have been taking care of the kids

1028
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 2: and doing all the chores. She's been focusing on what

1029
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,799
Speaker 2: I think is a work from home drop that she's

1030
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 2: lying to me about and trying to hide. Interesting. Otherwise,

1031
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 2: she's going out with her friends to bars. Ah. Well,

1032
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 2: here's the other problems that happen here we go.

1033
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: Let's listen them all out.

1034
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,800
Speaker 2: Man. She refuses to go to marriage counseling that I

1035
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 2: set up for us online after the kids go to sleep.

1036
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: She doesn't believe in therapy.

1037
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 1: Because she doesn't believe she does anything wrong.

1038
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. I doubt she even like said she was sorry

1039
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 2: for this.

1040
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 1: We oh one of the stories she take accountability.

1041
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 2: We haven't explicitly heard it. Ah, we just know what

1042
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 2: the truth is. I'm gonna just be for real. If

1043
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 2: this happened to us, like let's say I was the

1044
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,919
Speaker 2: one that ran and left our kids in the thing. Yeah,

1045
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,439
Speaker 2: I would see this or like iv agelid, if either

1046
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 2: one of us did it, I would see this as.

1047
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: A sign from God. It was like, Hey, we got

1048
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: to work on our home defense a little bit better.

1049
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 2: Here, absolutely, if you're not going to I've honestly I've

1050
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 2: been watching Stranger Things and for some reason that's been

1051
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 2: making me think about home defense a lot, because they're

1052
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 2: always in their homes defending but against like monsters. But

1053
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 2: this is different.

1054
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,399
Speaker 1: But like it's kind of the basis of the show.

1055
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 2: Oh boys, what they're doing. They're in a house like ah,

1056
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,799
Speaker 2: you know, but I I think like if you did

1057
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 2: this and we like if we had kids and you

1058
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 2: did that, I would be like, yo, we can't even Yeah,

1059
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 2: how are you even gonna protect me? Like exactly, you know,

1060
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 2: I wouldn't marry and like move in with someone for protection,

1061
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:14,760
Speaker 2: but like that's a plus, you know, it's a part.

1062
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 2: But like, if I have kids, I would hope that

1063
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 2: there's another person that besides me to help defend you know,

1064
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 2: Like that's a lot to do by myself, but I'll

1065
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 2: do it.

1066
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: Also, curious, what does your home defense.

1067
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 2: Look like, yeah, what is what are your strengths in

1068
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:29,720
Speaker 2: your home defense?

1069
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 1: The landlor would lift the bat here, and I gave

1070
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: it to Sophia to put it beside her.

1071
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 2: Bed, nice, like what you got there? You go? You

1072
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,399
Speaker 2: got it. She's strong, she could swing that hard.

1073
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: Sure. Yeah, hopefully I need to put a nail on

1074
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 1: the other side of it, though I've also heard it

1075
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 1: put a sock at the end of your baseball bet

1076
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: and just try to grab it.

1077
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh that's interesting. Wait, that's so smart.

1078
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:53,479
Speaker 1: What the heck?

1079
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 2: That's so simple and so smart. A big issue is

1080
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 2: the double standard. If I had done this, she would

1081
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 2: have forgiven me and probably divorced me. We had a

1082
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 2: fight because when we moved, my side of the bed

1083
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 2: was far from the door, and she said I needed

1084
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 2: to be able to stop and attack her. I've been

1085
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 2: yelled at for abandoning my daughters when I take a

1086
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 2: shower in the morning before work and they begin crying,

1087
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 2: or if she's sleeping in and one begins crying, well,

1088
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: I'm changing the others diaper. Okay, I think we have

1089
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,879
Speaker 2: our answer here. You need to run away from this woman.

1090
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 2: That is a woman that you need to not be

1091
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 2: around anymore.

1092
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 1: Oh has four kids?

1093
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 2: Keep the kids. Clearly she can't take care of them,

1094
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. I mean, obviously it's more complicated.

1095
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 2: That really simplifies it, and like you're gonna want to

1096
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 2: look into it and like, you know whatever, it's.

1097
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:41,760
Speaker 1: Not that easy.

1098
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 2: But like I feel like if he really did want to,

1099
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 2: he could easily get custody after this one thing. Oh yeah, easily, Like, oh,

1100
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 2: you ran away, you left our eight month old children

1101
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 2: home while a big scary man was coming in.

1102
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 1: What else we got here? Let's see what else she

1103
00:50:58,600 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 1: up to.

1104
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 2: Let's see. I totally understand this is fight or flight,

1105
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 2: and I'm not trying to Monday Morning quarterback. I'm going

1106
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 2: to assume the internet knows what that means.

1107
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 1: Because that's it's like, okay, handle the situation, got it.

1108
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 2: I haven't critiqued or criticized her. The closest was when

1109
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 2: I was surprised she left the girls. Other than that

1110
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 2: initial call or when I came home and she was annoyed,

1111
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 2: we don't have security cameras, we haven't really talked about it.

1112
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:28,759
Speaker 2: She had a phone that worked. I texted her to

1113
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 2: check in and she told me to call her, and

1114
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: that's when I found out about this. It's a one

1115
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 2: story L shaped house. The doors are at one end

1116
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 2: of the L, the kids are at the other end.

1117
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm currently in therapy. She's mocked me in the past

1118
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 2: for going to therapy and uses it to validate my opinions.

1119
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 2: What do you know, You're just a depression case. That's

1120
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 2: in quotes from this woman. Jesus dude, Oh my god.

1121
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:55,920
Speaker 1: Dude, this is not good for marriage. Someone undermined you

1122
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 1: in every choice that you made.

1123
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they clearly don't have any sort of level

1124
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 2: of communication.

1125
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: They don't. It just destroys confidence. Yes, you're less of

1126
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 1: a man because you have eroded yourself trying to combat

1127
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 1: her emotions, and that makes you in a place where

1128
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: you can't express your own emotions because you will get

1129
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: beaten by her excessive like things that she has to say.

1130
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,240
Speaker 1: And this is not a safe place to actually express

1131
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: how you truly feel.

1132
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you go to therapy to do that.

1133
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 1: But even that's not even a safe place because she

1134
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: somehow finds a way to get in that entangle your

1135
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 1: mind and make it seem like it's not good or

1136
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: beneficial whatsoever.

1137
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 2: Because that is something that I never really like paid

1138
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 2: too much attention to. Is like I guess it is.

1139
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,840
Speaker 2: It is important to be able to say things that

1140
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 2: you're frustrated about, must be especially in something like this

1141
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 2: because yeah, like you said, you are now in a

1142
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:50,879
Speaker 2: space that you aren't comfortable talking if.

1143
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 1: My only emotion towards you is to feel grateful that

1144
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: you love me, yeah, and that you and just love yeah,

1145
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: those are the only two emotions I can feel. Yeah,

1146
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 1: you know, like right, like prison, like cag that is.

1147
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to really like redefine your mind, like honestly,

1148
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 2: you really do.

1149
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,320
Speaker 1: I was watching it. The reason this comes up is

1150
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 1: because I was watching a show and it was called

1151
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 1: Task Very good check it out. But one of the

1152
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 1: things was like, uh, there's a the one of the

1153
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 1: FBI agents has an adoptive daughter, and she says, the

1154
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 1: only emotion I feel like I can half towards you

1155
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 1: is grateful that you adopted me. That's the only thing

1156
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 1: I can feel. I can't feel angry about some of

1157
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,280
Speaker 1: the things that have happened. I can only feel grateful.

1158
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 1: And he's like, yeah, it's not true, right, And he

1159
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 1: kind of freed her from that because she felt like

1160
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: that was the only thing, and it's like it made

1161
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: me think, like, okay, what else in other ways I

1162
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: feel that way.

1163
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's really, honestly something I have never really

1164
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 2: thought that much about. But that is so true. So

1165
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 2: there's no way she'll see a therapist. The police had

1166
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,399
Speaker 2: a social worker with them who gave her a card

1167
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 2: for the therapist. We do have an update here, yeah,

1168
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:00,080
Speaker 2: the police even like he like girl call it s

1169
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 2: numbers please please guys.

1170
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm wondering whenever people like do an update, it's

1171
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:06,720
Speaker 1: like a counter.

1172
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. This is like we're not even halfway through the story, too.

1173
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 1: I wonder what his counter is.

1174
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,359
Speaker 2: Wait, what do you like a counter like to the story?

1175
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: Like what he did? Yeah, well I kind of had

1176
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 2: a tiny bit, So I have a guess. But I

1177
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 2: feel like we're I feel like we're too early to

1178
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 2: like not really have anything change. He is looking for separation,

1179
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: is my prediction, hopefully. Dude. She sounds like an awful person.

1180
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 2: I don't have any patients with these people on this episode.

1181
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have friends. I wonder what her friend

1182
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:39,800
Speaker 1: group looks like.

1183
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably just all the same. They probably just like crap,

1184
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 2: talk to people all the time, you know what I mean?

1185
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 1: Very growth oriented right there, for sure.

1186
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 2: But we do have an update. So, long story short,

1187
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,759
Speaker 2: things are not going well. I feel like I'm an

1188
00:54:56,760 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: airplane pilot trying to land a plane. Well, it's disintegrated

1189
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 2: around me, and the time is now for me to

1190
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:08,360
Speaker 2: bail out. I'm realizing how much I've normalized these issues.

1191
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 2: My good days would be marginal days for other marriages,

1192
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 2: but more likely it would be awful.

1193
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: Only yelled at me once today, Yeah.

1194
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,879
Speaker 2: So it was great. Since that post, I've really tried

1195
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 2: to support her. I think I had been doing what

1196
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 2: I could already. Anytime she wants to leave, she can.

1197
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 2: I do the lion's share of the chores laundry, cooking, groceries,

1198
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 2: and morning and bedtime routines for the boys. We split

1199
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 2: dishes and bats for the girls close to fifty to fifty.

1200
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 2: I also pay all the bills and handle all the extracurriculars.

1201
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 2: So when does she come in? When does she come in?

1202
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 1: Don't count that out.

1203
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 2: Dishes and baths for the girl fifty Okay, my brain

1204
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 2: skipped over that part. I also have an online business

1205
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,879
Speaker 2: that she's keeping secret for him from him. Now she's

1206
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,800
Speaker 2: working on a job, does an online pay job. He

1207
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 2: said that he can assume that's what it is, but

1208
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 2: she keeps it secret from him. Yeah, because she's working

1209
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,480
Speaker 2: really hard, you know, I mean India. She's probably had

1210
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 2: a sign for that sure thing. I don't know she does.

1211
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 2: Apparently she's on Inda.

1212
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 1: She doesn't even know what she does either.

1213
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 2: That's how secret.

1214
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 1: Of this is. Yeah, she doesn't even know. She can't

1215
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 1: even know.

1216
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 2: She got severance moving numbers, moving the carry numbers.

1217
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: She has to keep it a secret from herself. She

1218
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,680
Speaker 1: can't even actually do half the work she has to get.

1219
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, she actually can't even open her eyes or

1220
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 2: get out of bed because she knows your secret. She

1221
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 2: would know too much and put everyone in danger. One

1222
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 2: comment people made was that she just gave birth eight

1223
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 2: months ago, and I should be more sympathetic. I totally

1224
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:44,160
Speaker 2: get that. But since she gave birth, she's done four

1225
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 2: ten k raiss what a marathon relay, goes to a

1226
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 2: run group and dinner afterwards twice a week, and has

1227
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 2: gone to networking events for her business.

1228
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, she has no excuses. No, she has no excuses.

1229
00:56:56,320 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 2: She really wanted time to like put her abilities in

1230
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 2: her real life and be able to run away from

1231
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,719
Speaker 2: this dangerous man. She really was like, oh my god,

1232
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 2: a great opportunity to show off my skills. Okay, and

1233
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:09,240
Speaker 2: she sprints.

1234
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: She's at the center. But that makes a lot more sense, though.

1235
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:14,680
Speaker 1: I see why she ran.

1236
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:15,760
Speaker 2: She was able.

1237
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 1: She always runs. It always runs, always runs, exercising and

1238
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 1: from her problems.

1239
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 2: Apparently pretty telling.

1240
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 1: Huh.

1241
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,920
Speaker 2: Since that post, we've had more days with screaming matches

1242
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 2: than without lovely here's a list of the issues. All right, ready, guys,

1243
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 2: lock in boom boom boom. She woke up early on Saturday,

1244
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 2: but didn't wake me or my son up for his

1245
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 2: early practice. I slept through my alarm, and she didn't

1246
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 2: help us get ready. Her only question when we came

1247
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 2: back was how late were we?

1248
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll give that one three stars of bad three

1249
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 1: bad stars, three out of ten, or three of five. Actually,

1250
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 1: i'll give that one two bad stars, two bad stars

1251
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 1: out of five, two out of five. I'll take that,

1252
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 1: I would agree, Okay. The moment I came home, she

1253
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 1: went back to bed. I had all four kids by myself,

1254
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 1: which is fine. I took the kids to the store

1255
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 1: to around errands. As soon as I came back, she

1256
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 1: got in the shower and left, refusing to take any kids.

1257
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 1: Despite their cries, she refused to tell us where she

1258
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 1: was going. Four four bad stars, four bad stars. Yeah,

1259
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: she doesn't tell anyone her plan. She doesn't take anyone

1260
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: with one. She just goes.

1261
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 2: I just feel sad soon or go and not be

1262
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:27,240
Speaker 2: like bye, I love you. Yeah, she just goes ah

1263
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 2: big scary bed and then runs again. Sunday, she refused

1264
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 2: to go to anyone's hockey practice because she had to

1265
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 2: clean the house. Well, I was parking at the rink

1266
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 2: with my kids crying. She called because she had hired

1267
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 2: someone to clean our garage and wanted to know where

1268
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 2: we were moving things. All right, but you just stayed

1269
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 2: because you were cleaning the house.

1270
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's clean it, No, agie. A part of cleaning

1271
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: is making sure people are doing a good job all cleaning.

1272
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 2: You're managing the cleaners.

1273
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: Is it clean? Yes?

1274
00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 2: But did you clean it?

1275
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 1: Boom? Does matter how we did it?

1276
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 2: No, it does matter if you're gonna say who cleaned it.

1277
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 2: She gotta make sure those cleaners are doing what they

1278
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 2: gotta do. She's got to point in the right direction.

1279
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 2: That's not what she said. This was the first time

1280
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 2: that I had heard of this. The woman threw everything

1281
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 2: in the dumpster, including unopened dress shirts.

1282
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 1: That's another four.

1283
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say it's a five five or four

1284
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 2: out of five.

1285
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:23,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1286
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 2: I also like whoever she hired is also stupid and

1287
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 2: bad at cleaning.

1288
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 1: Probably wrangled someone from the side of the street. Yeah.

1289
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 2: I feel like someone who's cleaning a garage wouldn't just

1290
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 2: like pick up and throw random new things away. I

1291
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 2: feel like they would know not.

1292
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 1: To do that. You'd be surprised.

1293
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 2: I would really hope they wouldn't do that. But whatever.

1294
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 2: We had a thermonuclear fight on Monday. My eldest was

1295
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 2: screaming at me to get a second helping of dinner.

1296
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 2: I tried bluffing to send him to bed without it.

1297
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 2: He went straight to her and she overruled me. Once

1298
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 2: they left the room, I explained what I was doing.

1299
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 2: She's I liked her laptop on the bed, jumped up

1300
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 2: and started screaming at me. Oh my god. She followed

1301
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 2: me out of the ruin screamed in front of all

1302
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 2: four kids that I'm a whiny witch who's not a

1303
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 2: real man. And trying to starve her kids. Starve her kids.

1304
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,479
Speaker 2: That's like a seven out of five.

1305
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 1: Goodness, Wow, that is bad.

1306
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 2: If it raises to screaming, not great. But if it's

1307
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 2: all of a sudden screaming like that and throwing things,

1308
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 2: throwing things on the bed, but still and then you

1309
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 2: scream in front of your kids, that's not.

1310
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: Good at all. Yeah, there's nothing good about.

1311
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 2: This, nothing good about this. This was just before our

1312
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 2: marriage counseling session. I kept the appointment, and while I

1313
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 2: was in the waiting room she continued screaming at me

1314
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 2: and attacking my character. When the session started, she refused

1315
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 2: to join. She started blending something in the kitchen. Oh

1316
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 2: my god. I tried to be as objective as possible,

1317
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 2: and the counselor said she was impressed with that. In

1318
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 2: the last five minutes, I tried to bring my laptop

1319
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:04,920
Speaker 2: to her. She collapsed into the room like Supermancy and Kryptonite.

1320
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 2: She refused to do it. After that, I went to bed.

1321
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,080
Speaker 2: She woke me up and wanted me to set up

1322
01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 2: our printer. We'd changed routers and I hadn't had the

1323
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,480
Speaker 2: chance yet. Lack of anger caught me off guard, so

1324
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,959
Speaker 2: I did it. She stood over my shoulder the whole

1325
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 2: time silently and refused to let me see anything.

1326
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 1: But what do you mean on our computer? Perhabs.

1327
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah. Maybe we had a couple of other

1328
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 2: fights along the same lines. But yesterday Thanksgiving, we had

1329
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 2: a decent day. Okay, not that it was overly affectionate.

1330
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 2: We just didn't fight. She slept in until twelve fifty

1331
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 2: in the afternoon and was snippy because I didn't have

1332
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 2: everyone ready yet. She wanted the girls in the car seat.

1333
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 2: She then began a ninety minute shower and makeup routine

1334
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,880
Speaker 2: and helped with the kids for maybe twenty minute. We

1335
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 2: ended up an hour late for Thanksgiving dinner. Oh my god,

1336
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 2: But for us that was a good day. There was

1337
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 2: no affection and we didn't speak in the car, but

1338
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,919
Speaker 2: my mind, I forgot all the issues that we'd been having,

1339
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:04,400
Speaker 2: and I wanted to make it work. That night, I

1340
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 2: woke up and attended to one of the girls who's

1341
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 2: very sick. She's done that exclusively, attending to the kids

1342
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 2: when they wake up. She's taken kids from me when

1343
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: I get up before her, saying it's because I'm working.

1344
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 2: In one fight in September, she screamed at me for

1345
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 2: being selfish for taking my daughter and sitting with her.

1346
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 2: I had said I didn't mind and was up anyway,

1347
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 2: and somehow that became me keeping her up because I

1348
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 2: couldn't sleep. This has become a trump card in every argument.

1349
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 2: But I was with my daughter from four to five,

1350
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:38,439
Speaker 2: and she slept in. This morning. I woke up around nine,

1351
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 2: which is the latest I can remember sleeping in. I

1352
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:43,240
Speaker 2: started making breakfast for the kids and finishing the laundry

1353
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 2: while she was already on her laptop. Out of nowhere,

1354
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 2: she snapped that I shouldn't bother cleaning because she had

1355
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 2: hired someone. I stayed calm and told her we really

1356
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 2: can't afford a clean her and that I could handle

1357
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 2: it myself. That's when she started yelling, calling me names

1358
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 2: and shouting right in front.

1359
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:02,560
Speaker 1: Of the kids. Couldness geez.

1360
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:06,919
Speaker 2: She blamed me for everything, saying I didn't have time,

1361
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 2: didn't have money, and didn't clean or do laundry. Quote

1362
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 2: to her standards, how about you help out? Yeah? How

1363
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 2: about you do things? Then? Geez, Oh my gosh, it's crazy.

1364
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,240
Speaker 2: Then she said she wasn't a cleaner and kept going

1365
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,640
Speaker 2: until I just stopped responding. It went on for about

1366
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,560
Speaker 2: an hour of non stop yelling. I spent the rest

1367
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 2: of the day cleaning the house, doing laundry, and taking

1368
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,960
Speaker 2: care of all four kids. My son's actually helped more

1369
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 2: than she has all month. Oh my god. The oldest

1370
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 2: son is eight by the wayang or no. Five, I

1371
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 2: think five and eight months.

1372
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 1: Wow.

1373
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 2: The oldest kid is five years old.

1374
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 1: Because he knows, he sees what's going on, and in

1375
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,720
Speaker 1: order and in order for him to not have a

1376
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 1: bad household gonna help out.

1377
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 2: It's gonna have to. And that's so sad because the

1378
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 2: eight month old kids are both girls and twins, and

1379
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,480
Speaker 2: then the three year old and five year old are male,

1380
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 2: and they're seeing their dad get yelled to and called

1381
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:07,880
Speaker 2: not a man for not doing all this stuff and

1382
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 2: being whiny and all of this that like they're yea,

1383
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 2: that's gonna like, wh whitch them?

1384
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,280
Speaker 1: Can we save the money for cleaners for therapists for

1385
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 1: our kids?

1386
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 2: Honestly, they're gonna meet it like yeah, Like it's already

1387
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 2: bad enough with like you know, pressures on men and stuff,

1388
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:30,640
Speaker 2: but with that seeing your mom yell at your dad

1389
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 2: about like these standards that are unrealistic too, is like,

1390
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:39,479
Speaker 2: is so such a dad kind of way to start

1391
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 2: out your life. What really gets to me isn't even

1392
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,520
Speaker 2: how she treats me anymore. I've gotten used to it,

1393
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 2: and if it stayed private, I probably would have just

1394
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 2: pushed through until the kids were grown. But now my

1395
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:51,640
Speaker 2: oldest is starting to act like her, and I can

1396
01:04:51,720 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 2: see how much it's affecting him. It doesn't help that

1397
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:56,800
Speaker 2: she constantly wants me to ask him who is his

1398
01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:59,919
Speaker 2: favorite and who yells more and who is the better

1399
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 2: a parent. When I refuse, I am quote scared of

1400
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 2: what he might say. I think that's the kid saying

1401
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 2: that to him. Oh my god. We do have a

1402
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 2: little bit more to this story, But any final thoughts

1403
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 2: see the closest exit you can? Yeah, yeah, what do

1404
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 2: they say on flights or like you like keep an

1405
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:22,720
Speaker 2: eye on your closest exit.

1406
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it might be good for marriage. Counselors explain these

1407
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 1: are like good exits in relationships. See people spiling into.

1408
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 2: This, yeah, because it's I'm sure it's like, you know,

1409
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 2: they have to slightly guide people places, you know, But

1410
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 2: the fact that like you had a screaming match with

1411
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 2: your wife and then and then you on the therapy

1412
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:49,120
Speaker 2: called try to stay objective. The fact that your therapist

1413
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:52,480
Speaker 2: was impressed by what you were doing, that that you

1414
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 2: could stay objective, That like, in therapist terms, that's like,

1415
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:02,280
Speaker 2: holy crap, dude, how can you deal with that? That's insane?

1416
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 2: That you were able to deal with that, you are

1417
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 2: super in therapist words, that's insane. But there is a

1418
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,160
Speaker 2: little bit more. I guess I don't know what to do.

1419
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:15,520
Speaker 2: I'm trying to fix this. I'm keeping an appointment scheduled

1420
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 2: with the counselor, but beyond that, other than talking to

1421
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 2: a lawyer, I don't know what I should do. She

1422
01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 2: honestly doesn't see any issues with how she treats me.

1423
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 2: Her refrain is that I'm a diamond and if you

1424
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:28,840
Speaker 2: leave me, you'll only be dating Pebbles.

1425
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:33,080
Speaker 1: Good. Sure, sure, I'll take it. Does that Pebbles scream

1426
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 1: at me?

1427
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:37,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, perfect, great, don't care. Besides the fact that I

1428
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 2: don't want a divorce and she spent the last six

1429
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:42,439
Speaker 2: years threatening one, I don't know how I can show

1430
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:45,240
Speaker 2: anyone who's that out of touch with reality or seemingly

1431
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:48,000
Speaker 2: so closed off from recognizing they have a role in

1432
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:51,440
Speaker 2: causing and fixing the problems with the marriage. Any advice,

1433
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 2: and that's the end of that story.

1434
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 1: What do we got for it? He knows what he's

1435
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:57,920
Speaker 1: got to do, and it's the hardest decision. Yeah, but

1436
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,919
Speaker 1: you gotta do it, man. Yeah, you've got kids.

1437
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 2: I mean it hasn't even been a year since your

1438
01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 2: daughters were born. Yeah, like that must be so hard,

1439
01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 2: but yeah, you know what you want to do. I mean,

1440
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:11,160
Speaker 2: you don't want this around your kids. Nope, you're already

1441
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:13,080
Speaker 2: seeing what is happening to your kids. Yeah, it's already

1442
01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:16,200
Speaker 2: having a negative effect. And he's only five. Yeah's only

1443
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,880
Speaker 2: five years old, dude, maybe six by now. However, time

1444
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,600
Speaker 2: has passed, but that's still who young.

1445
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:24,960
Speaker 1: A good way to like, see if you want to

1446
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 1: marry someone is like, do what want my child to

1447
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 1: be in a little mini version of this person?

1448
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:31,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Right? A lot of people say that, or do

1449
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:33,840
Speaker 2: I want my child to be treated by this? You know,

1450
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 2: like do I want my child to be in a

1451
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:38,320
Speaker 2: relationship like this one? Oh, you have a lot of

1452
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:41,439
Speaker 2: years left, dude, I know, like you can turn this around.

1453
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 2: You have so much time to be able to not

1454
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:47,000
Speaker 2: have to deal with her. Yeah, you have so many

1455
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:48,920
Speaker 2: years of that. You just got to make the choice.

1456
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: Huh. And we're making a choice that we're in this

1457
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 1: episode right here, we are.

1458
01:07:53,560 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 2: That's the end.

1459
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:55,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was great.

1460
01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:57,520
Speaker 2: It was great. So if you love us, make sure

1461
01:07:57,560 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 2: to subscribe.

1462
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,760
Speaker 1: We freaking love you and be you tomorrow