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Speaker 1: This is the press show.

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Speaker 2: Zane is taking over Las Vegas this January for his

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Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth

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Speaker 2: show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty

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Speaker 2: fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text

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Speaker 2: Zaye to three seven three three seven now for a

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Speaker 2: chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard

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Speaker 2: message of data rates may apply all thanks to Live Nation.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if you.

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Speaker 2: Guys agree with this now a recent peace in British Vogue.

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Speaker 2: I think, actually, I think you will agree with this.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should listen before you tell me if you

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Speaker 2: agree or not disagree. I actually I think you wrote this.

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Speaker 1: Man, I got that, Then do it? Then do it.

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Speaker 1: You're on spirit and you can do whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you want to take it on spirit and you

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Speaker 2: can do whatever you want. Yes, it is a wild

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Speaker 2: world inside that cabin. A recent piece in British Vogue

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Speaker 2: argues that women are posting less about their partners, and

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Speaker 2: in some cases feel that simply having a boy friend

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Speaker 2: is culturally loser ish.

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Speaker 3: I love you should hear the whole sentence yeah, it

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Speaker 3: is embarrassing to have a boyfriend. Yeah, many memen, women,

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Speaker 3: many women, the women, many women reference to fear of

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Speaker 3: needings to scrub posts if things end, or being judged

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Speaker 3: for being too coupled.

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Speaker 2: Some say being single has become the new status symbol.

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Speaker 2: Dating experts say the issue isn't relationships per se. It's

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Speaker 2: when someone lets a partnership define their entire identity, which

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Speaker 2: I don't know how that would. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: being married or in a you know, committed non marital relationship,

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Speaker 2: I don't know why that matters. You have to do

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Speaker 2: all the same things if you get married too and

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Speaker 2: then divorce, which a lot of people do, which half

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Speaker 2: of people do so I guess.

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Speaker 1: I don't know the difference.

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Speaker 2: What's the difference between having Why would it be embarrassing

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Speaker 2: to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and in this

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Speaker 2: case boyfriend specifically versus getting divorced? Isn't that embarrassing too?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 4: I mean, no, it's absolutely not.

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Speaker 2: Is embarrassing Paulina based on this argument, based on the

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Speaker 2: argument that you would have to scrub your social media

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Speaker 2: if you break up with someone, how is it any

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Speaker 2: different if you're married to them?

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Speaker 1: And get divorced.

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Speaker 5: Well, Fred, I don't like that part that whole, like

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Speaker 5: scrubbing social media.

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Speaker 1: Like that's the point.

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Speaker 4: Friendship different.

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Speaker 5: No, like I'll lead a friendship like that doesn't matter

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Speaker 5: to me at all.

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Speaker 1: You play sudoku again, You're always playing.

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Speaker 4: I love this article, and I'm actually writing something very

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Speaker 4: similar to this. I am like, h.

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Speaker 5: We'll see if I pick it up. Yeah, catch me outside,

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Speaker 5: but we'll see if they pick it up. But I'm

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Speaker 5: writing one about how I'll never get remarried again, like

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Speaker 5: if I get divorced and then potentially date, like you

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Speaker 5: guys know, I'll go on my little dates.

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Speaker 4: Everyone getting a date with me, but I'm not.

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Speaker 6: I'm not like.

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Speaker 1: Gonna take it a step forward.

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Speaker 4: We're not committing any.

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Speaker 2: But my point is in this argument, it says it's

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Speaker 2: embarrassing to have a boyfriend because women reference fear of

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Speaker 2: needing to scrub post if things end. You would have

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Speaker 2: to do that in any at the end of any relationship,

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Speaker 2: friendship or being judgeable couple. Saying that being singles become

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Speaker 2: a new set of symbol and that people let a

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Speaker 2: partnership defind their identity also something that could happen in

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Speaker 2: a marriage.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so I guess I don't understand.

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Speaker 2: How I think the issue here is, Yeah, breaking up

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Speaker 2: is embarrassing because because these aren't things that are exclusive

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Speaker 2: to boyfriend girlfriend.

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Speaker 5: I hear you, breaking up can be embarrassing. I think

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Speaker 5: it's article that I've read this article over and over

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Speaker 5: and over. I think it's an amazing article. I think

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Speaker 5: what she's saying is like, having a boyfriend is a

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Speaker 5: liability for a lot of women. And that's a big

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Speaker 5: talk or big conversation on TikTok too, like it truly

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Speaker 5: is having a partner is liability.

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Speaker 4: Well on you, Fred Hayter Lauren saying more man passing.

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Speaker 2: Eight three five if you have because this isn't talking

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Speaker 2: about girlfriends. This is from the female perspective. Yes, and

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Speaker 2: and and the quote is or her statement is yes,

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Speaker 2: and it doesn't really matter why even though I think

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Speaker 2: it applies to any relationship I can. I think that

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Speaker 2: I would like to know do you have a boyfriend

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Speaker 2: and are you embarrassed of said boyfriend in a way

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Speaker 2: that you wouldn't be embarrassed of a husband.

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Speaker 5: My husband can embarrass you too, Like I got to

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Speaker 5: hear you on that and the article is more about

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Speaker 5: independent self identity outside of a partner, changing norms about

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Speaker 5: how relationships are displayed.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but I get I guess if I'm independent and

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Speaker 2: I have self identity outside of a partner, then I'm

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Speaker 2: not embarrassed by my boyfriend because I stand on my

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Speaker 2: own too. Yes, So this, in my opinion, this whole thing,

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Speaker 2: it contradicts itself all over the place.

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Speaker 4: I think, yes and no.

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Speaker 5: I think a lot of times when women get into relationships,

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Speaker 5: you see the baddies, you know, getting taken off the streets,

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Speaker 5: and you know she's in a relationship. I'm serious, and like,

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Speaker 5: I know her content's a little more watered down, or

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Speaker 5: she might not be outside as much because she's in

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Speaker 5: a relationship. And that's natural, it happens, right. I feel

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Speaker 5: like a lot of people change when they get into

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Speaker 5: a relationship or they get married. Now, making your whole

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Speaker 5: identity that's annoying. And she said it in the article too.

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Speaker 5: She goes, if I used to see you, I don't know,

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Speaker 5: on the beaches doing this and that, and all of

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Speaker 5: a sudden, it's just like you and your husband in

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Speaker 5: the kitchen, that's all your content.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm on following you, and why are we judging

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Speaker 2: our actual lives on what your content is.

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Speaker 5: I think she's just pointing that out as far as

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Speaker 5: like I think that's another problem.

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Speaker 4: I know, well, that's what she's saying.

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Speaker 5: And it's like, I see what she's saying in terms

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Speaker 5: of like we make our relationship our identity, or we

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Speaker 5: can some women do.

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Speaker 4: I'm not saying all women, but some women can.

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Speaker 5: And I think that's like what she's pointing out too,

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Speaker 5: is like you're really absorbed in this relationship and like

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Speaker 5: it's kind of embarrassing.

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Speaker 4: That's what she's saying.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but how does that apply to just a boyfriend

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Speaker 2: versus a husband too? I mean, is it like I'm

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Speaker 2: doing this for someone who?

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Speaker 7: Who?

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Speaker 2: And I also don't know why the man has to

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Speaker 2: take all of the ownership every time in that It's like,

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Speaker 2: so what I was going to say is so you're

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Speaker 2: saying it's embarrassing that I'm I'm committed to this dual identity,

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Speaker 2: but you haven't quote unquote pulled the trigger. But again,

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Speaker 2: she's talking about self identity and self independence. So then

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Speaker 2: it wouldn't matter whether I pull the trigger or not,

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Speaker 2: because you're your own person, your own figure, so it

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Speaker 2: doesn't actually matter whether it shouldn't matter based on her argument,

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Speaker 2: whether we're ma or not, I shouldn't be embarrassed to

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Speaker 2: have a boyfriend or a husband because it doesn't matter

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Speaker 2: because I have ownership in this decision. I think it

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Speaker 2: would be embarrassing if you're constantly telling everybody that your

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Speaker 2: whole life is dependent upon someone else's decision making based

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Speaker 2: on your value. You know what I mean, Like Kiki

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Speaker 2: joked about it, but Kiki is her own woman, her

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Speaker 2: own brand, her own identity, and whether Big Tim owned

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Speaker 2: that or not, I mean you, we can be real

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Speaker 2: for one second.

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Speaker 1: You got a gimmick, gimmick, you got a gimmick, this.

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Speaker 2: Whole arm single until this man claims me or whatever. No,

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Speaker 2: you never needed him to claim you. You don't for

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Speaker 2: one second need a man to claim you, Kiki, And

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Speaker 2: you know that.

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Speaker 8: I don't need him to claim me. But in order

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Speaker 8: for me to go public with him, I need to

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Speaker 8: have some stake in the game, because it is embarrassing

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Speaker 8: when you are dating people for women, it can be

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Speaker 8: embarrassing because you I put you on display as my man,

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Speaker 8: as my boyfriend, right, and so that eliminates all my

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Speaker 8: other potential partners on this algorithm, you know, like, so

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Speaker 8: that the level of risk. Yeah, that's embark in itself.

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Speaker 8: I put all my potential men that's sitting on.

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Speaker 2: A bench, right, Why are we framing it? And I

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Speaker 2: agree society does this, But why aren't we having a

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Speaker 2: bigger conversation, which is why are we allowing society to

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Speaker 2: frame this? Like if a dude doesn't pull the trigger,

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Speaker 2: he doesn't claim you on a permanent basis, that that

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Speaker 2: somehow has some that's some assessment of your value.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you're the one.

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Speaker 2: Like in Calen situation, I think that dude would would

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Speaker 2: have married her before they even started dating. He would

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Speaker 2: have married her. Yeah, okay, so, but but I think

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Speaker 2: maybe she in this case, I'm surmising, based on things

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Speaker 2: that have been said over the last couple of years,

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Speaker 2: that maybe she's the one saying let's pump the brakes.

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Speaker 2: So there should be zero assessment of Klen's value based

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Speaker 2: on the fact that she's got a boyfriend and not

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Speaker 2: a husband.

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Speaker 4: I don't think any friend. I don't think it has

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Speaker 4: anything to do with my value.

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Speaker 8: Now I don't say that, I just think it's embarrassing

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Speaker 8: because I didn't put all my other potential partners on

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Speaker 8: notice about you. I'm letting them know that you're the

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Speaker 8: star player on my team. Then I come to find

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Speaker 8: out you can't dribble the ball. That's embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's not about my value.

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Speaker 8: My value say what it is because I'm me, But

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Speaker 8: so it's it's just about this may. I didn't put

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Speaker 8: you out there let everybody think you the man.

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Speaker 4: Now you're just sitting.

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Speaker 1: Next to me and got some of this glow.

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Speaker 9: You know that.

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Speaker 1: Now now you walk on and so you got it.

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Speaker 1: You got it about three quarters right.

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Speaker 2: And so then if he if he screws this up,

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Speaker 2: then he loses the aura, then he's then he is

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Speaker 2: out of the shadow by.

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Speaker 1: And I find that's bad.

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Speaker 8: Once I found out how embarrassing you are, now you're

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Speaker 8: forever attached to my legacy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Jesus Taylor, I love this article. This article just

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Speaker 1: goes left and right and it's all over the place,

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Speaker 1: and it says two different things. Hi, what did you

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Speaker 1: want to say? I'm having a boyfriend's embarrassing.

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Speaker 9: Why it's just embarrassing?

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Speaker 6: Why my boyfriend is my boyfriend?

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Speaker 9: That right, just embarrassing.

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Speaker 6: I don't know, It's just I come off with annoying.

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Speaker 2: I feel like so so saying your husband, that's your

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Speaker 2: husband that How does that change the context?

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Speaker 1: If it's the same guy, it sounds different.

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Speaker 9: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: More adults, and let me tell you something.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna make a counter argument, Taylor. I might argue

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Speaker 2: that having a husband can be embarrassing, can be because

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Speaker 2: at least, at least boyfriend and girlfriend, there is no

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Speaker 2: added pressure, no added level of Look, let's face it,

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Speaker 2: there are a lot of people listening right now in

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Speaker 2: relationships who are married and they're not getting divorced because

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Speaker 2: it's too much of a pain in the butt. But

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Speaker 2: in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, you get a little bit

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Speaker 2: more flexibility. It could still be a big pain in

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Speaker 2: the butt, but each of you are choosing to be there,

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Speaker 2: and it's not real tough to get out of it.

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Speaker 2: So I might argue that you're choosing each other in

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Speaker 2: that situation, as opposed to a marriage, where you may

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Speaker 2: stop choosing each other locket.

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Speaker 1: But you've got.

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Speaker 2: Lives intertwined legally and otherwise, and as time goes by

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Speaker 2: in a marriage ten twenty thirty years yeah. Look, I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, my parents have been together for forty years.

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Speaker 2: They love it other, and they're going to stick it out.

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Speaker 2: But I can tell you it would be such a

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Speaker 2: gigantic pain in the buttt at seventy and eighty years

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Speaker 2: old to move on. I don't know that they would

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Speaker 2: even if they should.

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Speaker 9: That's a good point, but.

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Speaker 5: I'm sometimes using that relationship every day.

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Speaker 2: And I hate using my parents as an example because

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Speaker 2: they do love each other, and they wouldn't they I

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Speaker 2: don't think either one of them. Well, my dad wouldn't

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Speaker 2: live without my mom, like he physically wouldn't survive. I

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Speaker 2: love him, but he's gotten to a place in his

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Speaker 2: life where he physically would not survive without my mother.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't know how to wash his chonies. He has

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Speaker 2: no idea, no clue. He doesn't even where the chones,

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Speaker 2: doesn't know where to buy newones. You don't know nothing

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Speaker 2: about the chonies. Okay, so this man walking around with

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Speaker 2: no chonies be awful.

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Speaker 4: For society with your mom.

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Speaker 2: No, and and frankly, I think my mom needs him too.

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Speaker 2: Now she's going to listen to this at about my

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Speaker 2: phone is gonna ring, and she's gonna say I need him,

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Speaker 2: but nothing. I've hid all the money everywhere.

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Speaker 1: He's broke. Hey, you Taylor, have.

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Speaker 4: A good day.

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Speaker 10: See what's a good example.

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Speaker 5: Folk should have called me instead. I mean, I love

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Speaker 5: this author. She's graad and really like, I'm really invested

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Speaker 5: in her in this whole thing. I wish they would

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Speaker 5: have called me because I've been saying what exactly what

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Speaker 5: you're saying. It's like, I think you can take us

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Speaker 5: up further and say husbands can be embarrassing too. Do

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Speaker 5: you know how many moms have to do this alone

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Speaker 5: even though they're legally married and the man's actually physically

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Speaker 5: in the house, but like, won't wash a dish.

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Speaker 1: I want women to have the power here. But that's

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Speaker 1: what she's saying on one hand to Brian that she

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Speaker 1: on the other.

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Speaker 2: Hand, so I don't know, Hey, Ashley, good morning, good morning.

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Speaker 2: So you're saying it thirty five to say you have

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Speaker 2: a boyfriend is embarrassing? I see, I think that's just

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Speaker 2: social Well what are you saying? So like, that's what

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Speaker 2: my blurb said, Okay, that's what that's what your pre

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Speaker 2: interviewer said. All right, So if we got the pre

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Speaker 2: interview wrong, then I need you to correct them.

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Speaker 4: No, that's the hunter.

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Speaker 10: Like at thirty five, when you're just introducing someone being like,

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Speaker 10: this is my boyfriend, it just sounds so immature because

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Speaker 10: there's so many people at that stage of life that

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Speaker 10: is like married.

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Speaker 4: Mind you, I've already been married and divorce by go

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Speaker 4: heredy oh you're good, right, you did.

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Speaker 1: It right now.

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Speaker 10: Fortunately enough, we are engaged and we're getting married in December.

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Speaker 10: But when I was introducing him at thirty five and

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Speaker 10: thirty eight as my boyfriend, it just feels like a

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Speaker 10: step back in life because you.

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Speaker 4: Know, I'm approaching that forty mark and saying I have

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Speaker 4: a boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: No, And I hear you.

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Speaker 2: No, I hear what you're saying, Ashley, And that's fair

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Speaker 2: and that's honest, and you're being transparent. But I'm going

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Speaker 2: to write a piece for British Vogue where I say, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that is a social construct. Yes, what you're saying, what

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Speaker 2: you're saying is what other people are putting onto you. Like,

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Speaker 2: that's what the world's putting onto you. And I can

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Speaker 2: say this from the perspective of a forty four year

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Speaker 2: old man who's never been married and may never get

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Speaker 2: married because people look at me like I'm a weirdo,

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Speaker 2: people on the dating apps, people in real life, people

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Speaker 2: my friends who introduce me to people. It's like, what

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Speaker 2: do you mean he's forty four and never been married.

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Speaker 2: There must be something wrong with him as opposed to

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Speaker 2: what if I choose this life. That's true, So you

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be embarrassed. I'm telling you that's my whole point here.

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Speaker 2: You should not be embarrassed about that. Whatsoever. You made

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Speaker 2: that choice head high. And if a guy doesn't want

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Speaker 2: to propose to you then and and you're self aware

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Speaker 2: and it's not you know, and you're and you're good

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Speaker 2: with yourself, then I guess that's his loss.

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Speaker 4: That's true.

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Speaker 10: But doesn't don't you think the title boyfriend instead of

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Speaker 10: like you know, it sounds immature.

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Speaker 4: Fourteen year olds have boyfriend?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so we can change the word man friend, college

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Speaker 2: bulloom guy dude.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, fair enough. I hear that. But but are

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Speaker 1: you thinking it?

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Speaker 9: No?

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Speaker 4: No, No, I think.

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Speaker 2: What you said is what the part that makes you embarrassed,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion, shouldn't make you embarrassed. It's it's your

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Speaker 2: embarrassed because other people. You think other people think that.

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Speaker 2: So it's a little bit of projection that I'd like

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Speaker 2: to correct.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 10: Fortunately enough, we are getting married in December.

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Speaker 1: He's my fiance now, so we don't got to say boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: no mo.

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Speaker 8: Congratulations, Yes, all right, thank you too, thank you.

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Speaker 1: There you go.

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Speaker 2: See it would big Tim could have said he could

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Speaker 2: have walked. You would have been devastated, because that's a

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Speaker 2: that's a crappy thing to do. You would have been sad.

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Speaker 2: But then guess what next? O, Marion?

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Speaker 1: What's up?

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Speaker 8: And I'm saying, that's why you don't put out a

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Speaker 8: boyfriend because my bench is watching and.

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Speaker 1: We're so late and we got to go.

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Speaker 2: But the other part of this is that we're judging

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Speaker 2: things based on social media content, which is outrageous.

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Speaker 4: I hate that.

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Speaker 2: I do not care no part of your actual life.

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Speaker 2: You got to live your life.

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Speaker 1: And if that and if you want to live a

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Speaker 1: separate life, that's for everybody else. I guess fine.

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Speaker 2: But like the fact that we're now, we're now meshing

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Speaker 2: and meshing the two where my social media life and

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Speaker 2: how I'm judge on social media it plays into my

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Speaker 2: actual identity. That's the worst place on earth. Why would

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Speaker 2: you want that to be the barometer of how you're

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Speaker 2: doing in life. The Internet's the worst place on earth.

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Speaker 4: The longer the caption, the more the problems. I stand

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Speaker 4: by that girl.

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Speaker 11: Oh yeah, like if it's wordy and oh two souls come,

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Speaker 11: Oh the pargraph?

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Speaker 4: What are all going?

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Speaker 1: Let me take something if we don't win a Marconi

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Speaker 1: Award for this hour Radio More Fresh show next Welcome.

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Speaker 1: This is the Fread Show.

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Speaker 2: Dan is taking over Las Vegas this January for his

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Speaker 2: seven night residentsy Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've

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Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth

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Speaker 2: show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty

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Speaker 2: fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text

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Speaker 2: Zane to three seven three three seven now for a

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Speaker 2: chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard

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Speaker 2: message of data rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation.

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Speaker 2: The Fread Show is on. It's stay or go Okay.

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Speaker 1: More opinions from us Kelsey this time, Hi Kelsey, Hi,

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Speaker 1: how's it going? Good morning? Thanks for being here. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to the program.

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Speaker 2: So this is where people hit us seven ask us

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Speaker 2: for our opinions. Are the thirteen's opinions about steps going

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00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,920
Speaker 2: on in their life. You can hit us at frendshow

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Speaker 2: radio dot com on all the different socials. This is

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00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,160
Speaker 2: about your boyfriend. You guys have been together for a

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Speaker 2: year and a half and decided to move in together

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Speaker 2: and then.

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Speaker 9: What so we looked at places. We did find one

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Speaker 9: that we really liked, and so we put in that

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Speaker 9: application for it standard process and then for whatever reason,

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Speaker 9: like we got denied for it. I said that it

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Speaker 9: ran our credit.

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Speaker 1: And do you have good crowd or is it? Was

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Speaker 1: it a little bit of a roll the dice there.

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Speaker 9: My credit is pretty good. I mean, you know it

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Speaker 9: is what it is.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So you expected to get this though, like you

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Speaker 1: didn't do this and you're like, let's see if they

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Speaker 1: find that credit card bill or whatever. But then you

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Speaker 1: expected that it wouldn't be an issue, right.

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Speaker 9: I didn't think it would be that big of a deal.

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Speaker 9: Like obviously I wouldn't put the application in because we

400
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Speaker 9: had to pay for that, right, So I just wasn't expecting.

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Speaker 9: So they denied us. I called, I'm like, hey, what's

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Speaker 9: going on?

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Speaker 12: You know?

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Speaker 9: They said they couldn't proceed because of my boyfriend's credit,

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Speaker 9: not because of mine.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and that was surprising.

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Speaker 9: Oh, definitely.

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Speaker 13: It was.

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Speaker 9: It was even more surprising because not only was the

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Speaker 9: credit like that, it was like really bad, Like I

411
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Speaker 9: didn't even know you could get a credit score that.

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Speaker 1: I love.

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Speaker 9: No shade, no shade, I love him, I love my boyfriend.

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Speaker 9: But it's also just like day, like when were you

415
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Speaker 9: going to tell me that? It was a lot of

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00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:22,120
Speaker 9: like details to it too, like they owe he specifically

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00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:27,879
Speaker 9: owes that rental company thousands of dollars, like thousands of

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Speaker 9: rent like over a past lease, and he didn't tell

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Speaker 9: me that. And it's like if you knew, if you

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Speaker 9: knew that before we applied, why wouldn't you say that?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 2: So and then you confronted him, right because you're like, hey,

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Speaker 2: what's going on with this? Like why didn't we talk

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Speaker 2: about it? And then what does he what's his response? Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: my bad, Like I thought, maybe I don't know, I.

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Speaker 1: Forgot the old roommate.

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Speaker 9: Basically, no, not even my bad, right, I would even

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Speaker 9: be okay with my bad. It wasn't even that it

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Speaker 9: was oh my old roommate, they didn't pay it affected

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Speaker 9: my credit, blah blah blah. We were both on the lease,

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Speaker 9: and so I'm like Okay, why wouldn't you just tell

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Speaker 9: me that, like ahead of time, you know it's the

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Speaker 9: same company. So I don't know. I just really am

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Speaker 9: confused about it because I also feel like it almost

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Speaker 9: feels like lyon, like it's almost like a liable mission,

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Speaker 9: like you knew that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he knew he had bad credit.

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Speaker 2: He knew they were running the credit, because that's pretty

439
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Speaker 2: standard when you go rent something and he didn't give

440
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Speaker 2: you any heads up and then and then it's someone

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Speaker 2: else's fault entirely, which then I would start to say, well,

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Speaker 2: if my credit was completely screwed, then I'm tracking that

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Speaker 2: person down. I'm trying to get the money. I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to get it straightened out, you know, because I don't

445
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 2: want to live like that. I don't want to run

446
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 2: into this every time, especially if it's actually someone else's fault.

447
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 2: But then he seems a little complacent about it, even

448
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,159
Speaker 2: because it's oh yeah that, yeah.

449
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 1: It's a shame, isn't it. I like that it's someone

450
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 1: else's fault.

451
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 9: Yeah, But he's you know, I will give him this,

452
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 9: like he is working, and he's working towards a lot

453
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 9: of different things. And so that's also part of why

454
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 9: I feel like conflict. They're right because I see him

455
00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,479
Speaker 9: putting in the efforts to like really rebuild himself, rebuild

456
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,959
Speaker 9: his life, and so I just I don't even know

457
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 9: if that's But I also, at the same time don't

458
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,400
Speaker 9: know if that's something I want to be involved in. Right,

459
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,919
Speaker 9: It's like, I can help you a little bit, but

460
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,680
Speaker 9: I don't I don't want to be responsible for you.

461
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, can I do?

462
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 6: That makes sense?

463
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 2: I've never I've never rented an apartment with someone else,

464
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 2: But I mean, can you You're gonna run into this

465
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 2: every time? So then are you able to are you

466
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,680
Speaker 2: able to rent the apartment just you and they don't

467
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 2: run his credit? Or I mean, is this something that

468
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,679
Speaker 2: you're not gonna be able to get an apartment until

469
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 2: or a good apartment or whatever, and until he clears

470
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 2: this up?

471
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 1: It is my question.

472
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 9: I don't even know, Like we haven't even gotten there.

473
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 9: It's just I need to make the decision first. I

474
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,360
Speaker 9: think as far as like, am I gonna bring him

475
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 9: along with me? Or am I just gonna not? You know,

476
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,639
Speaker 9: so I feel like, before you know it is a liability.

477
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 9: It's like, do I even want to put his name

478
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 9: on the leash if that's the case, you know, so

479
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 9: it's like, yeah.

480
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 2: Which is something you're gonna have to but then you're

481
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 2: stuck with the whole thing if something happens eight five, five, five, nine,

482
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 2: one one of three five. I'd love to tell what people,

483
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,360
Speaker 2: if they've been through this, what they have to say

484
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 2: about it. You know, it's I'm glad that he's not

485
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 2: just sitting on the couch playing video games with bad credit,

486
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 2: and yeah, I don't know, and it doesn't seem to

487
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: be any motivation for him to sort of have success

488
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 2: in his life. That being said, I do think it's

489
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 2: us that he didn't ever bring this up, like like,

490
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 2: why didn't he going into this process, go hey, look,

491
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 2: heads up, you know, I do have this situation. It's

492
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 2: going to come up when they run the credit. We

493
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 2: may not be able to get the places that we want.

494
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 2: And here are the steps that I'm taking to resolve

495
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: it so that it's not something that, you know, hangs

496
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 2: over our heads for the rest of our lives.

497
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: He didn't do that, which makes me.

498
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 2: Then wonder why not, you know, because again, this isn't

499
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 2: a surprise to him.

500
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 9: No, and if he did, if he didn't know that's

501
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 9: a problem too, because how didn't you know that? Like,

502
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 9: why aren't you diligent enough? You know what I mean?

503
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 9: So either way, this is a problem, and I'm trying

504
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 9: to figure out if I want to keep being involved

505
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 9: in it well.

506
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 2: Because if it's not resolved, I don't know how long

507
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 2: that stuff lasts or how quickly you can turn it around.

508
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 2: But you know this, you might have to buy all

509
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 2: the cars, you might have to buy the house, you

510
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 2: might have to do all the renting of everything. You

511
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 2: might have to have the credit cards in your name.

512
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 2: And that's now we're talking about something. If I'm right

513
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 2: about that, because again I've never I've never call mingled funds.

514
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 2: Now we're talking about where everything is on you and

515
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,360
Speaker 2: he can just walk because it's all in your name.

516
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't like that feeling either of somebody out there,

517
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 2: you know, sort of spending and living and existing under

518
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 2: my credit because you hear about this happening. And I

519
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 2: don't know this guy, but you sometimes hear about people

520
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 2: screwing up other people's credit this way and now and

521
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 2: then you got to fix it again.

522
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 9: Yeah, And I don't I don't know. I don't think

523
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 9: I don't know if it's worth it, honestly, No.

524
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 11: Matter what you do, make sure, sorry, make sure you

525
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 11: move into a place that you can afford if you

526
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,959
Speaker 11: do end up moving in with him, that you can

527
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 11: afford on your own in case something.

528
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 4: Happens, just so you're protected.

529
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 11: But if his credit is bad, they will not allow

530
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 11: him on the lease, so it would be just you

531
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 11: getting approved. If they'll still let you have to are

532
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 11: running his but you need to make sure that you

533
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 11: can handle it on your own, just to protect yourself.

534
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want you wind it up on keeky scored,

535
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 2: because that's a whole different thing. If you wind up

536
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,360
Speaker 2: bumbo stair going, we got a real problem.

537
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 1: It's not good.

538
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 2: Let me take some phone calls and see maybe people

539
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 2: have lived I'm sure people have lived this before and

540
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 2: figured it out. But yeah, my husband Kelsey, have a

541
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 2: good day, and thanks for listening.

542
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 1: And have the radio one.

543
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 4: See up should we call it? Thank you turned that

544
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 4: radio off, Bobby right now.

545
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 5: Like the thing is I was different, like I was

546
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 5: very transparent of like this is like the debt that

547
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 5: I have occurred, a cured whatever the word is. I've

548
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 5: done this. This is my debt.

549
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 1: It occurred, all right.

550
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 4: I told him the marriage and I cured it.

551
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 5: I told marriage, I told him after marriage and he's like, oh,

552
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 5: I didn't know it was this.

553
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: Uh you incurred it, by the way, but go ahead, sorry,

554
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 1: that was that was stuck on my way.

555
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 5: Well like, uh yeah, so you know, living off my

556
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 5: husband is it's very valid at this moment of life.

557
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 5: But I do contribute. Obviously, I work, and I and

558
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 5: I pay bills and I actually have my own home

559
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 5: that I purchased on my own.

560
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, thank you so much.

561
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 5: But I do feel like a I know every dollar,

562
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 5: I owe where it needs to go and where it's

563
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 5: gonna come from. I know that part and do something

564
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 5: about it. And I was very transparent. And this man,

565
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 5: this embarrassing man, British Fogue, if you know, you know,

566
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 5: is not being honest and he's gonna take her down

567
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 5: if he doesn't change his act and clean it up.

568
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 14: You know.

569
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 1: So Kaylee says, go, because you've lived through this.

570
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 9: Hi, Kaylee, Hi, good morning.

571
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,640
Speaker 1: So how did that? Good morning? How did that go? Like?

572
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: Like why are you so?

573
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 12: Everything was fine for like five years but then there

574
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 12: was like a back injury and then he lost that

575
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 12: job and then he couldn't go back, and the mental

576
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 12: wear of it all.

577
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 9: But I'm so I finally.

578
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 12: Left such or seven and a half years, and I

579
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 12: am grateful enough to be able to have moved back

580
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 12: in with our dog to.

581
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 9: My mom's house.

582
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 12: But I'm still carrying the debt because nothing was under

583
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 12: his name. It was all my credit card. So I'm

584
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 12: I left with like thirty five thousand dollars in credit card.

585
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 4: I am so sorry.

586
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: So you're in love with this guy and you're feeling

587
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,880
Speaker 2: a certain kind of way, and you're like, we're gonna

588
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 2: be together, We're gonna work this out. So you just

589
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 2: put everything in your name and then this is where

590
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 2: this is where you wind up.

591
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 12: Ye okay, I'm.

592
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 1: Sorry to hear that.

593
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: So your advice to her is don't if he can't

594
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,360
Speaker 2: be an equal partner in all of this, then then

595
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,679
Speaker 2: don't do it.

596
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 6: Correct, don't.

597
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 12: And she's early in too.

598
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right, KAYLEI, thank you, have a good day,

599
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: you too. Yeah.

600
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 2: And someone is saying it could take as much as

601
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 2: as many as seven years to straighten the whole thing out.

602
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: That someone's full calm. How you doing, Hey?

603
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 4: Great?

604
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,120
Speaker 2: How are you Hey, good morning, welcome, thanks for listening,

605
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 2: stare Go.

606
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 14: Gocause he is not ready and she apparently is getting

607
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 14: herself together and it's okay. I mean, he's just not

608
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 14: where she is, so just keep moving and if it's

609
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 14: meant to be, you can circle back to each other.

610
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 14: But you're going to be paying for everything. The house

611
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 14: will be in your name, the cars will be in

612
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 14: your name. Creditors will be looking for you and not him.

613
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 14: He has no built credit, He'll have nothing built up,

614
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 14: So by the time you all are older, everything will

615
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:02,880
Speaker 14: be on you.

616
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 9: So what's the point.

617
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 14: You can do everything by yourself.

618
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's tough because she could, I mean,

619
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 2: like the last color, she could take it on, and

620
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: because she says that he is being diligent. I mean,

621
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 2: this would be a very different story to me if

622
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:23,400
Speaker 2: he weren't doing anything about it. And I'm very financially conservative,

623
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 2: so I don't think this would work for me. But

624
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: I mean again, if you're really in love with someone,

625
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,199
Speaker 2: then I can see why it would be hard to

626
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 2: say I'm walking away from this thing that I think

627
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 2: is forever over someone who's trying to get their life

628
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 2: together for past mistakes. Especially if he's telling the truth

629
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 2: and it was somebody else's fault and this isn't a

630
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 2: reflection on his spending or financial future or financial goals

631
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 2: or ambitions or outlook. But I yeah, I mean, do

632
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 2: you actually end a romantic relationship over and not be

633
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,239
Speaker 2: forward with this? And you're saying yes, okay, yeah, there

634
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,120
Speaker 2: you go, thank you, Carl, Okay, have a good day.

635
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 2: Yeah it sounds sounds harsh.

636
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

637
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I don't you're in love with someone

638
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 2: and you're not going to pursue And again I'm not

639
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,479
Speaker 2: the romantic in the room. But like, I don't know,

640
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 2: I guess, at what point do you say I love

641
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: you so much? I'm to Caylan's point, We're going to

642
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 2: live within my means. You're gonna support me because you

643
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 2: have the money to do it and you're working towards it.

644
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: We're not going to extend beyond that. And I'm going

645
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 2: to give you some time to fix this, and if

646
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 2: you don't, then I'm okay, because I'm not going to

647
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 2: be put in a bad financial situation because we're spending

648
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,120
Speaker 2: for both of us and it's all going to fall

649
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 2: on me.

650
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: What about that alternative?

651
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 4: I think that's the way to do it.

652
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 8: I mean honestly, yes, I mean, you don't take any risks,

653
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 8: you stack your money while you pay or link, you

654
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 8: be interesting, you build your credit why you pay.

655
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 2: Well, that's another thing he is you might actually want

656
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 2: to be a hell. The penalty for him having bad

657
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 2: credit might be that it's all in your name. You're

658
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 2: living within your means, and he's paying for you to

659
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 2: live within your means, And if he decides to be

660
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 2: a jerky and bail, then you're not in a bad

661
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 2: spot now. I think if you're living for two people

662
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: and you're living to the life that you want to

663
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 2: live someday, not the life that you necessarily have on paper,

664
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,880
Speaker 2: that's I feel like, maybe you get in trouble.

665
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: Jackie.

666
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 5: You say go too though, Yes, okay, he definitely should.

667
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 6: Go because I relived something very very similar where it was, oh,

668
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 6: my boyfriend doesn't have good credit. So I was trying

669
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 6: to be nice. He's like, all right, i'll help you

670
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 6: book the credit. Things like that. Eventually things weren't getting paid.

671
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 6: Long story short, we've been you know, we were together

672
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 6: for six years and I had to group bankruptcy.

673
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,719
Speaker 2: Okay, Oh god, now I have to ask you, Jackie,

674
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 2: in all honesty, when you when I'm sorry that happened

675
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: to you, but when you look back, was he showing

676
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 2: you signs that he wanted to make it better? Or

677
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: was he showing you signs that he was complacent about it?

678
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 2: Because look, I mean, one thing I've learned in in

679
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: you know, dating and in meeting lots of different peace people,

680
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: is people grow up in different financial situations that grew

681
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 2: up in different situations, and they're sort of and I

682
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 2: think some of that's instilled in you, like this, Hey,

683
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 2: spend now, worry about it later, put it on credit,

684
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 2: worry about.

685
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 1: It later, or or hey, I don't know, I don't

686
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: really care about it. Okay.

687
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 2: So I'm not saying that, I'm not saying the signs

688
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 2: were there, But would you have felt differently if you're

689
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 2: someone who was saying it was confronting this and saying, hey,

690
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: I know this is a problem and here the steps

691
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm taking to resolve it.

692
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: Would that had been different for you?

693
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 6: I don't think so, because I think the underlying thing

694
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 6: here that I learned it looking back an as I layered,

695
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 6: you know, the onion back over the years is that

696
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 6: there was a line. So when she mentioned that he

697
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 6: lied about it, he couldn't say accountability and say yeah,

698
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 6: I messed up and that this is how I was

699
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 6: trying to fix it. He claimed it on the roommate.

700
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 6: That's a big red flag. Okay, So there was a

701
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 6: lot of lyne going on also with my with my partner,

702
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 6: you know, was a the accountability for things was like,

703
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 6: oh he got an accident, Oh that wasn't my fault,

704
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 6: the bus hit me, things like that. So to me,

705
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 6: it tells me there's no growth there and he's not

706
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 6: going to grow, So she should just live on her own.

707
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 6: He could be around her life if he wants to,

708
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 6: but he needs to deal with this himself, because when

709
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 6: he learns how to deal with it, he's going to

710
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 6: be a man and then he'll be able to beat.

711
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 8: It for her.

712
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Jackie, have a good day. Sorry. Yeah,

713
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: I guess.

714
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 2: I guess they could live separately, still be together. She

715
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 2: could give it a year or two and see, you

716
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 2: know what direction it's headed, even if it's going to

717
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: take seven years to straighten it out. I mean, I

718
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: think she could definitely say I need full transparency about

719
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: your financial situation. I need to see how you're working

720
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 2: away at this. You're going to have to show me

721
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but like I'm not. And if he really

722
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 2: loves her, then he's going to understand that that's not

723
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 2: a burden that he should put onto her or someone else.

724
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 2: And it's going to delay their plans, but it won't

725
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: put her in a bad situation if it.

726
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: Doesn't work out. WHOA how you doing?

727
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 13: How you doing?

728
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: What's going on? Hey man, you're the loan stay here?

729
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 7: Come on now?

730
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 1: Oh I'm coming on now? Why am I coming on? Now? Though?

731
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: I need you to tell me why I should say?

732
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: Why should I stay in this thing?

733
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 13: I think? I think in that situation when I first

734
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 13: got with my wife, like my credit was bad, I

735
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 13: didn't even have a license. We couldn't even get a

736
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 13: car unless I put it in her name. And now

737
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 13: ten years lady later, the whole thing is three sixty.

738
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 13: Now everything is in my name. I take care of everything.

739
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 13: I got the good credit, school, and now I'm trying

740
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 13: to help her get back up.

741
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: Interesting, but you were clear with her about that, like Nigel,

742
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 2: you told her all of this up front, Like Yo,

743
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: I got I'm in a bad situation.

744
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 7: Shot together vaguely, and over the years, I built my

745
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 7: credit school up and I turned everything around, and now

746
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 7: it's nothing that we.

747
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,959
Speaker 1: Can't get you know, that's right, that's right.

748
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 2: See, But you seem to have shown the signs I'm

749
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 2: talking about, like you took accountability, you were transparent, you

750
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 2: were clear about it. You you were able to from

751
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 2: what you're saying, to demonstrate to her how you were

752
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: going to turn it around. You did, and now you're

753
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: doing what you should be doing. And so but it

754
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: doesn't seem like that's what one hundred percent true in her.

755
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 7: Case, Like keep in mind, free I went from making

756
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 7: twenty seven thousand and eighty thousand a year. So that's

757
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 7: a big difference too.

758
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: My man. So when you're rolling like that, I mean, okay, yeah,

759
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: look here, yeah, I mean it's been money.

760
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:25,959
Speaker 7: Money changes everything.

761
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 13: I don't know how, I don't know why, but it is.

762
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: I mean, no money, more problems, but it certainly makes

763
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: the problems. I don't know. At least you're not hungry

764
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: with the problems.

765
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 7: I actually have less problems because I actually matured. I

766
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 7: don't even flirt anymore or anything like that. Any stuff that's.

767
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: Look at have to worry about. I just got money down,

768
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: so he ain't even stepping out. It's wrong.

769
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 7: I do have a dime though, you know it is beautiful.

770
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: It usually goes the other way.

771
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 2: Usually people clean up their life and all of a

772
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,719
Speaker 2: sudden they thing, I'm not I can do anything.

773
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: So look at this man.

774
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 2: This man cleans up his life and he stopped with

775
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 2: the shenanigans to Nigel. This right here, Nigel's a success story.

776
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 2: Right here is Nigel good for you? He's got credit

777
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 2: straight and he's not shating anymore. Nigel, good for you.

778
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 2: I know, honestly, all jokes aside, good for you. Stop

779
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 2: you stop stepping out? All right, man, have a good day.

780
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: He's a good man.

781
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: Nigel.

782
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 2: Nigel is the other way around, right Like people attach themselves.

783
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 2: I hate to say this, but people, and I'm not

784
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: talking about Nigel. We'll take him out of this, but

785
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 2: people in bad situations attach themselves to people who can

786
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: fix it for them. And then once their problems are fixed,

787
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: and they they then forget about that love the building,

788
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 2: They forgot about who helped him do it, and they're like, boy,

789
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 2: I am in a good spot now you.

790
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 4: Made me punch my Mic, that's true. You're making good

791
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 4: points today. You are on fire today, right.

792
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 9: You know.

793
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: It's the funny thing is I'm on fire most days.

794
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: It's just you're just now realizing it to today's port Taylor.

795
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I.

796
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: Mean i have a pretty good batting average, but today

797
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm a hundred.

798
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 4: Take my compliments.

799
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 1: I'm a hundred.

800
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 4: Like I'm going to go home and we listen to

801
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 4: this like I am too. Actually, I'm going.

802
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: To go home and I'm going to go home and

803
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 2: play my own brilliance and just be proud of myself

804
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 2: for once.

805
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to go home and yeah, I'm not going

806
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: to step out anymore either. I've been stepping out of

807
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: myself on my non relationship forever