1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM dot com 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, And you never know. 5 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: We could hear that, we could be getting your letter, 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: and we could be reading it live on the air, 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one. And you 8 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: just never know it could be yours. You never know. 9 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: Buckle up a hole on tight. We got it for you. Here. 10 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject. If 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,319 Speaker 1: it ain't broke, don't fix it. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm 12 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: a fifty two year old married woman and I've been 13 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: married for twenty one years and we have three teenagers 14 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: at home. I'm working from home now, so I'm able 15 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: to cook for the kids and be a bit more 16 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 1: hands on. I also have more time to see how 17 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: ignorant my husband really is. He is a cheater and 18 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: a very bad one. He's been busted several times, and 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: I've overlooked it because I don't want to break up 20 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: a happy home. My father is a big influencer in 21 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: my life. He was a pastor for most of my life, 22 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: and when he cheated on my mother, he got excommunicated 23 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: from the church. I know I should not be getting 24 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: marital advice from him, but he's a wise man, so 25 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 1: I'd rather listen to him than a therapist. He's always 26 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: told me to keep to myself and not to look 27 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: for things, and I will have a long and happy marriage. 28 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: Being in the house ninety percent of the time shields 29 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: me from anything my husband might be doing in the streets. 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: That's why I call him ignorant all the time. He 31 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: can't even cover his tracks like a seasoned womanizers would. 32 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: I've seen inappropriate emails to his female manager, and I've 33 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: seen text messages and breastpicks on his phone from random women. 34 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: That's his thing. He always gets several breastpicks from the 35 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: women he's sleeping with. It can be two or three 36 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: at a time for all here. But there's no way 37 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: I should know what he's up to. Women in my 38 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: family disagree with me all the time and try to 39 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: tell me things about my husband. I asked them politely 40 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 1: to stop gossiping with me, because I'm not leaving this man. 41 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: My dad came over the other night and confirmed what 42 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 1: I believe he said. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. 43 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: My man still makes me feel like I am the 44 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: only woman for him despite what he does behind my back. 45 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: Am I a fool for letting the slide? Or do 46 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: I destroy my family and leave him? What a confusing 47 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: situation you're in and try to get us in. But 48 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: let's see if we can help you. I think the 49 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: first thing you need to do is stop listening to 50 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 1: your daddy. That's what I think, because remember, he cheated too, 51 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: he got kicked out of the church for it. What 52 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: he's telling you to do is what he would have 53 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: wanted his wife and your mother to do so he 54 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: could keep doing what he was doing. Cheat. That way, 55 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: he could cheat and keep his pastor's job at the 56 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 1: same time. So please tell him thank you, but no, 57 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: thank you. I'm good, daddy, I'm good. I know this 58 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: is hurting you. It's confusing you. Your dad's asking you 59 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: to turn a blind eye to your husband's infidelity. You're 60 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 1: not happy, and even though you say you have a 61 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: happy home, it's not happy in your home. You're miserable. 62 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: They all know about your husband, your family. You've sacrificed 63 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: your happiness for twenty one years listening to your dad's 64 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: crazy advice. I mean it's time you make some decisions 65 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: for your own, on your own about your own life. Okay, 66 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: tell your husband you're no longer gonna put up with 67 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: going to You know, all this goings on that he has, 68 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: this is crap that he's giving you. You said you're 69 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: not leaving him. Are you sure? You said you're not 70 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: leaving him in spite of everything that you've seen and 71 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: that he's done. But you you know you don't have 72 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: to take this from him. I hope. Yes. Your marriage 73 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: is very broken and it does need fixing. So if 74 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: you really want to stay in it, since you said 75 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: you're not leaving, it's time to let your husband know 76 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: that he better straighten up or he's got to go. 77 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: Simple as that, Steve, I don't know how we help 78 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 1: a person that don't won't help Lady, Why why did 79 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: you even write us? I mean, you know you said 80 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: in the letter. Here's a line that sticks out for me. 81 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: Women in my family disagree with me all the time 82 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: and then try to tell me things about my husband. 83 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: I asked them politely to stop gossiping. With me because 84 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: I'm not leaving this man. Okay, so what you wants 85 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 1: to do you ain't leaving. Stay down, stay down, stay there, 86 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: and quit complaining. That's all you got to do. Now. 87 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 1: Seem to me like in this letter, you need to 88 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: learn how to lap it, lick it and like it, 89 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: lap it, lick it and like it. That's what it 90 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: seems to me like, because you don't. You're not leaving 91 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: this man, all right, But now let me tell you, 92 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: let me get you to this point. You're fifty two, 93 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: you've been married twenty one, You got three teenagers at home, 94 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: and now you have more time to spend at home, 95 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: so you can be a bit more handszoned because you 96 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: work from home now. And now you want to say 97 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: your husband only time to see how ignorant my husband 98 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: really is. So you're married to an ignorant man. Okay, 99 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,160 Speaker 1: he's a cheater and a very bad one. Now you're 100 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 1: married to an ignorant man. That's a Cheatah, You've busted 101 00:05:55,920 --> 00:06:00,479 Speaker 1: him several times, and I've overlooked it because I don't 102 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: want to break up a happy home. Who who happy 103 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:10,559 Speaker 1: in the home? I mean the kids might be cool 104 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: because they don't know Uh, he's certainly cool because he 105 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: can get busted and you overlook it. So I'm not 106 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: sure that if he's getting busted and you're overlooking it, 107 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: if he's ignorant, or he realized he can do what 108 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: he want to do because you ain't gonna do nothing. 109 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: So I'm not really sure that he's ignorant. I just 110 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: think he realized you ain't gonna do nothing. When I 111 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: come back, I'll straighten it out. It ain't gonna be 112 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 1: able to help you, though, but I will talk to you. 113 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: All right, Thank you, Steve. Coming up, Part two of 114 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: Steve Strawberry Letter, respond to twenty three minutes after the hour. 115 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: The subject is if it ain't broke, don't fix it. 116 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:56,239 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show, 117 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's crazy Strawberry letter. 118 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: The subject if it ain't broke, don't fix it. This 119 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: is a dumbest letter we've had in a while. This 120 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: is just dumb. I'm fifty two, been married twenty one years, 121 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: three teen years at home. You work from home now, 122 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: so you spend a lot of more time. You're a 123 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: lot more home or you're a lot more hands on now, 124 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: and you've also had had time to see how ignorant 125 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: your husband really is. Now, this is why you say 126 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: he's ignorant. He's a cheater and a very bad one. Okay, 127 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: Then you say he's been busted several times, and I've 128 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: overlooked it because I don't want to break up a 129 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: happy home. You don't want to break up having home 130 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: for who because if you're happy in that type of situation, 131 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: there's nothing mean Shirley can do for you. My father 132 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: is a big influence in my life. He was a 133 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: pastor for most of my life. When he cheated on 134 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: my mother and he got excommunicated from the church. I 135 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: know I should not be getting marital advice from him, 136 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: but he's a wise man, so I'd rather listen to 137 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: him than a therapist. You make the most contradictory statements 138 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 1: throughout your damn ladder. You live with the man who's 139 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 1: ignorant and a bad cheater, and you overlook it because 140 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: you don't want to break up a happy home. Your 141 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: father got excommunicated for cheating on your mama, and I 142 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: know I should not be getting mad till advice from him, 143 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: but he's a wise man, so I'd rather listen to 144 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: him than a therapist. Okay, okay, lady. And now this 145 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: is what his father said. He's always told me to 146 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: keep to myself and not look for things, and I 147 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: will have a long and happy marriage. What time the 148 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: father is this? Listen to me. He's wise, but not 149 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: to your benefit. He is give you you the wisdom 150 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: of a cheater. He's not giving you the wisdom you 151 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: need as the person who's being cheated on. I'm stunned 152 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: that this is coming from your father. How old and 153 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: backwards ass is he thinking? And this is who you'd 154 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: rather talk to you than the therapist? Lady, Come on now, 155 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: and you fifty two? What you're talking to? His old 156 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: ass fault this old ass cheatah, with this old ass advice? 157 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: You get daddy old enough to have written of him. 158 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: Why are you listening to him? Shut up, keep your 159 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: mouth closed. Let your man cheating. Here they go. You 160 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: shut up, keep your mouth closed, Let your man keep 161 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: cheating on. I said, shut up and keep your mouth closed, 162 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: and let you old man keep cheating on. Let him cheat, 163 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: let him cheat cheat on you, and keep your mouth closer. 164 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: You have happy home now, being in the house ninety 165 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 1: percent of the time. It shields me from anything my 166 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: husband might be doing in the streets. No, it don't, lady. 167 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: That's why I call him ignorant all the time. He 168 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: can't even cover his track like a seasoned womanizer wood. 169 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: I've seen inappropriate emails to his female manager. I've seen 170 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 1: text messages and breastpicks on his phone from random women. 171 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: Why why he need a pass cold? Because if you 172 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: see it, you've already said you gonna overlook it. And 173 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: in a minute in the letter, you're fin to tell 174 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: us you ain't finn to leave him? So how ignant 175 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: is he? He doing it? Because he know you ain't 176 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: gonna do nothing. That's his thing. He always gets several 177 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: breast picks from the women he's sleeping with. You're typing 178 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: this from your happy home. It can be two or 179 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 1: three out of time for all I care. But there's 180 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: no way I should know what he's up to. It's 181 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: okay that you know what he's up to, because you're 182 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,359 Speaker 1: not going to do anything about it for two reasons, 183 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: because you don't want to upset your happy home, and 184 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: your daddy told you to stop looking for stuff. Women 185 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 1: in my family disagree with me all the time, and 186 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: they try to tell me things about my husband. I 187 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,439 Speaker 1: asked them politely stop gossiping with me because I am 188 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 1: not leaving this man. Okay, now, na I got a 189 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: clear picture of him. You think your husband is ignorant 190 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: because he cheats, He's been busted several times, and you 191 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: keep overlooking it. Your daddy had told you to stop 192 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: looking through for stuff, but you find stuff anyway. Your 193 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: female relatives and told you to leave him. You've told 194 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,959 Speaker 1: him to stop gossiping about you and him because you're 195 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: not leaving this man. My dad came over the other night. 196 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: Now here comes this old food. Your dad came over 197 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: the other night and confirmed what I believe. He said. 198 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. My man still 199 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 1: makes me feel like I'm the only woman for him 200 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 1: despite what he does behind my back. Am I a 201 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: fool for letting this slide? Or do I destroy my 202 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 1: family and leave him? Lady, listen to me. This man 203 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 1: makes you feel like you're the only woman for him. 204 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: He may make you feel like you're the only woman 205 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: for him, but you ain't the only woman with him. Now. 206 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,719 Speaker 1: If you don't signed up for this open marriage that 207 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: you're in and don't know it. I'd like to introduce 208 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: you to it. You are in an open marriage, idle 209 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 1: and as far as your daddy go, listen to me. Man. 210 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 1: Please don't advise your daughters based on Advise your daughters 211 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: based on mistakes you've made, and let them learn from 212 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: mistakes you've made. Do not make your daughters relive oh mistakes, 213 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: so you can be cleared as a cheetah. That's the 214 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: most ignorant mess I've ever stupid. All right, thank you, Steve. 215 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,320 Speaker 1: You guys can leave us your comments on Today's letter 216 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM, and check out the 217 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up next to 218 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: his Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening 219 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,959 Speaker 1: to the Stave Harvey Morning Show