Speaker 1: I'm picturing your old apartment just having a puppet sitting
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 2: Listen, you're a hundred percent right. If we were to
Speaker 2: take a picture of the living room in that old apartment,
Speaker 2: it's just Chad on a stand sitting on a desk.
Speaker 2: That's all that's in that room, which is great because
Speaker 2: it's an automatic theft deterrent, because if you break into
Speaker 2: that and that's what you see, it's like, I don't
Speaker 2: think this is fir Us that's cursed.
Speaker 1: This place that's a cursed place seems cursed.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know when you meet someone and you just instantly click,
Speaker 1: You just feel like you've known them your whole life
Speaker 1: or maybe from a past life, you know, like you
Speaker 1: were brothers or best friends or lovers. Well, that's how
Speaker 1: I feel about Josh si Gorn. You know, I could
Speaker 1: see us being philosophers and grease who drank too much
Speaker 1: wine at a Bacchus festival and made fun of Aristotle's
Speaker 1: weird haircut. Where I can see this as like Viking
Speaker 1: sisters who crossed the ocean in a long boat and
Speaker 1: braided each other's hair into really cool patterns. Ooh, or
Speaker 1: maybe we were in Vietnam together, and I got shot
Speaker 1: in the butt as I carried a mortally wounded Josh
Speaker 1: out of the jungle and yelled something bit me and
Speaker 1: then opened a chain of popular shrimp restaurants after Josh died.
Speaker 1: See that's the kind of instant connection that Josh and
Speaker 1: I had. If you don't know Josh, you may know
Speaker 1: his alter ego, Chad the Bird from his viral TikTok
Speaker 1: rants or his podcast Chad the Bird Cast. Josh and
Speaker 1: I hopped on the mic and we mostly just shot
Speaker 1: the shit. There's a lot of stories packed into this one,
Speaker 1: so enjoy. I'm will dear God make me a bird
Speaker 1: so I can fly far, far, far away McFadden And
Speaker 1: this is hashtag storytime brought to you by iHeartRadio. I
Speaker 1: recently had a spectrum sent me a new modem and router.
Speaker 1: Oh fun, And my girlfriend was like, oh, we have
Speaker 1: some friends coming over tonight to watch the rehearsal. Nathan
Speaker 1: Fielder shown.
Speaker 2: Things for friends to sit around and watch.
Speaker 1: To really get like go into the you know, the
Speaker 1: the mc escher painting that is that TV show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, guys, everybody want to come over and watch a
Speaker 2: Mayor of Easttown with me? Be a groovy good time.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, no, it was. It was the worst. Like
Speaker 2: I was on hold and then it was the automated
Speaker 2: guy and I was immediately like rady to punch a
Speaker 2: wall as soon as the automated guy came on, because
Speaker 2: it was just like he was like, hello, Hi, thank
Speaker 2: you for calling Google Home Operator Opera. You're just mashing
Speaker 2: zero with your hands and then you get really angry
Speaker 2: and you hold zero until someone goes, well, we'll find
Speaker 2: you someone. You're like, yes, yes you will, and also
Speaker 2: bring me a cook.
Speaker 1: Thank you, robot.
Speaker 2: I hate when it does the little clackety sound like
Speaker 2: it's like, hey, lets me look that up for it,
Speaker 2: and it's like and you're like, stop it, stop it.
Speaker 1: Don't don't condescend to me. Pretend like you're working.
Speaker 2: You can't feel. You don't know feelings. You don't know
Speaker 2: what I'm going through right now.
Speaker 1: You don't have digits and fingers that you're typing away
Speaker 1: on some keyboard.
Speaker 2: And I love how it's just like trying to find
Speaker 2: the most pleasure, Like it thinks this is what a
Speaker 2: pleasant human voice sounds like, and you're like, this sounds
Speaker 2: like you're talking to a serial killer. Or an abusive boyfriend.
Speaker 2: He's just like, Hi, I can see you're frustrated.
Speaker 1: You're like, sure, let me, let me do something about it.
Speaker 2: You loosen the restraints and we can talk about whether
Speaker 2: or not you really want to set up your nest.
Speaker 1: You sound hungry.
Speaker 2: Wow, Google's getting real creepy getting It's horrible. But yeah,
Speaker 2: that was That was this afternoon, and I'm glad that
Speaker 2: all worked out because there was gonna be a horrible
Speaker 2: email for me being like, Hi, ho, how like enraged?
Speaker 2: Do you want me for this?
Speaker 1: And I'd be like, how are you emailing me right
Speaker 1: now about your internet? Sir?
Speaker 2: I don't even know. I don't even know this is working.
Speaker 2: This isn't working. Oh man. The next thing, holy crap,
Speaker 2: because it like you pop it, you pop it off,
Speaker 2: and then you put all the wires in and then
Speaker 2: you immediately have to know something about wiring a thermostat,
Speaker 2: where I was like, whoa yeah, whoa, whoa whoa hang
Speaker 2: on by an electrician? Did I pay for that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: My pay grade.
Speaker 2: I paid for an Apple product or a Google product.
Speaker 2: You're supposed to do that stuff for me because I'm stupid.
Speaker 1: So so take this thing out of the box, throw
Speaker 1: it at the wall.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But they're like, nah, now you got to check the
Speaker 2: wires that you want to check. Sure your why your
Speaker 2: why wires are going And I'm like, slow down, Harvard, Okay,
Speaker 2: I went to art school. Can you sing it to me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, these wires have genders. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2: What is the wire identify as? I don't want to, like,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna put a label on this.
Speaker 1: This is ridiculous, like put the male end and the
Speaker 1: female Oh.
Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, hold on, hold what's up nineteen eighty seven? Jesus,
Speaker 2: chill out, dad. But yeah, I did all that, plugged
Speaker 2: the thing in, and then it was like because then
Speaker 2: it does that thing where it's like, oh, yeah, we're
Speaker 2: gonna test to see, we're gonna we're gonna talk to
Speaker 2: each other. So it's like, all right, so put your
Speaker 2: phone up to it and it'll it'll have a little
Speaker 2: robot conversation, which I'm sure is just the NSA. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, find great. I don't care. I don't
Speaker 2: do enough for me to care. So I did that,
Speaker 2: and then it was like, you need to change your batteries,
Speaker 2: and I was like all right, I said. Then I
Speaker 2: unplugged the thing and I changed the batteries and it
Speaker 2: was like, ah, we can't find it anymore. Sorry. So
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, so we're done.
Speaker 1: That was it and gave up. Robots just quit good.
Speaker 2: No, you're wrong. Oh I guess that was on me.
Speaker 2: So then I had to call the thing and then
Speaker 2: they were just like they send you to one person
Speaker 2: after the robot, and that one person that's out of
Speaker 2: the robot is like, can I confirm that this is you?
Speaker 2: And I'm like can you No, I don't even know
Speaker 2: if this is me anymore. And after that journey through
Speaker 2: the through the chaos and the void, come back out
Speaker 2: the other end, you're like, oh I am me. Good
Speaker 2: to know, uh.
Speaker 1: And then and and I'm still in the middle of
Speaker 1: moving yeah, which is stressful enough.
Speaker 2: Time is of the essence here, guys. So after we
Speaker 2: go through all the verification to make sure a you're
Speaker 2: a human and you are who you say you are,
Speaker 2: and then you have like six identity crisises because you're
Speaker 2: just like, why would I pick that for a password?
Speaker 2: Why is this? Why Why am I doing this? Like
Speaker 2: I could be out working on something with my hands
Speaker 2: fixing potholes. And then that's over. And then this woman
Speaker 2: comes on and she's like, oh, okay, can you give
Speaker 2: me the serial number? And you're like, yeah, here's the
Speaker 2: serial number. She's like cool, and it's just like bet
Speaker 2: there you go. I'm like, so, so you could have.
Speaker 1: Done along the whole time.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: I once put a curse on a woman who worked
Speaker 1: for Direct TV.
Speaker 2: Oh that was you, Thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I put a curse on her and her family.
Speaker 1: I was in the middle of moving. It was very stressful.
Speaker 1: There was a shooting. There was a shooting outside of
Speaker 1: my apartment and there was a person who died, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to move, Like somebody just
Speaker 1: got shot in front of my apartment. I don't feel
Speaker 1: safe here. I gotta go. And I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: Direct TV want I'm moving, want to move my service?
Speaker 1: And they were like, JC, thing is, you've only lived
Speaker 1: there for seven months and you can only move once
Speaker 1: a year, so it's going to cost three hundred fifty
Speaker 1: dollars to move the service. And I was like, a
Speaker 1: person was murdered in front of my door.
Speaker 2: I admitted.
Speaker 1: I was like, my I am in danger and you're
Speaker 1: and you're exploiting this situation.
Speaker 2: Sorry dangerous.
Speaker 1: I was like there. I was like, ma'am, there there's
Speaker 1: a there's a sequence of buttons that you can press
Speaker 1: right now that will make that three hundred and fifty
Speaker 1: dollars fee disappear. I need you to hit those buttons. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And she was like no, I just can't. I can't
Speaker 1: do it. So I was like, so you've been living supervisor, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then Supervisor comes on and they're in India
Speaker 2: and you're just like, so this doesn't matter to you
Speaker 2: because you're on a different time zone. But someone just
Speaker 2: died in front of my apartment where we are. Sir,
Speaker 2: it's Tuesday, it's no longer Monday.
Speaker 1: I apologize, but yeah. I basically I got to the
Speaker 1: point where they just wouldn't do it, and I said
Speaker 1: how much to cancel all together? And they're like, that's
Speaker 1: gonna be six hundred dollars and I went, I'll do that.
Speaker 1: And now I will never ever work with Direct TV
Speaker 1: A yeah, ever, And I curse your family and everyone
Speaker 1: who you who works in your direct apartment, anybody who
Speaker 1: shares a cubicle wall, that this curse will also be
Speaker 1: they will get spillover.
Speaker 2: Curves, just full on Willem dafoeing like bug eyed, saying
Speaker 2: some really dark stuff, and there on the other end
Speaker 2: going okay, well, thank you. Would you be willing to
Speaker 2: take a survey?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, please? How would you rate your experience? I would
Speaker 2: rate it not satisfactory with the force of Poseidon's rage.
Speaker 1: If you can hear my teeth greeting somehow through the survey, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm getting a rack of a tooth.
Speaker 2: I'm getting a lot of feedback. Yeah, that's me trying
Speaker 2: really hard not to bite my finger off because it's
Speaker 2: my finger.
Speaker 1: So this this episode is brought to you by Direct
Speaker 1: TV and Nest.
Speaker 2: Test always there. Google Home should take thirty minutes to
Speaker 2: set up. Anyone can do it, It's yeah, and it's true.
Speaker 2: Anyone can do it. All you have to do is
Speaker 2: call the people that know how to do it and
Speaker 2: they'll do it for you.
Speaker 1: Anyone with a background in being an electrician.
Speaker 2: Yeah, easily. Anyone can do it. If you have money
Speaker 2: to pay someone else to do it.
Speaker 1: Or yeah, or the time to go to school to
Speaker 1: learn how to.
Speaker 2: Do I took some night classes. Why setting up an alexa?
Speaker 2: I'm just not nailing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got my degree of like it's a technic
Speaker 1: trade school. I went to Phoenix University of Phoenix Online.
Speaker 1: Now I'm good at setting up around my liver.
Speaker 2: Yeah, specifically Apple products. If you need someone to help you,
Speaker 2: I know people, I won't do it. I only did
Speaker 2: it for me because I don't care.
Speaker 1: This is I think this is what task grabbit essentially
Speaker 1: driving off of it.
Speaker 2: Say, want to be funny if there was like an
Speaker 2: app you could go to to be like I have
Speaker 2: a dumb job, It's like, oh yeah, it's task Grabbit.
Speaker 2: I used to use task grab it. It was really fun.
Speaker 2: I mean I was on task grabb it because you know,
Speaker 2: I'm in the arts, so I have no money, and
Speaker 2: so I'm just like, yeah, I'll come over and move boxes.
Speaker 2: I don't care. Sure, sure I can lift things.
Speaker 1: I got that one friend who's just like task grabb
Speaker 1: it at that's everything that comes up. He's like, just
Speaker 1: task grab it at.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you mean like he's like, yeah, I got
Speaker 1: I got a new air conditioner. Task rabbing it like.
Speaker 2: An air conditioner.
Speaker 1: You're like, come on, man, just put that in the window.
Speaker 2: Lift from lift from your legs lift from you don't
Speaker 2: live from your task grabbing it. Well that my sister,
Speaker 2: she lives out in Tribecca, so she's in New York.
Speaker 2: She works in finance, and she has a lot of
Speaker 2: of of those kinds of situations where she's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: you just have to call somebody, And I'm like, I
Speaker 2: don't know if you heard me earlier, but I work
Speaker 2: in the arts, so that's not gonna happen. I'm the
Speaker 2: guy you call you, see right. So I learned how
Speaker 2: to do a bunch of really weird, odd jobs. So
Speaker 2: task grab it was fun for a while, but there
Speaker 2: comes a point where you're just kind of like, no.
Speaker 1: Well, maybe maybe we'll save that for the end. Because
Speaker 1: we do we do a game sometimes of first, worst, best,
Speaker 1: last yet and job and job is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite categories to do that. You know, your first job,
Speaker 1: your your last job, your worst.
Speaker 2: Let's do that.
Speaker 1: That sounds like fun, that's great, great stuff. But first off,
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure if you were going to be joining
Speaker 1: as you are as it was it Chad.
Speaker 2: The Bird, Yeah, the Bird. They I got an email
Speaker 2: from your producer, uh, and he was like, was it
Speaker 2: going to be you? Or is it going to be Chad?
Speaker 2: And I was like, ah, well, if you want a visual,
Speaker 2: it'll have to be me, because I Chad is in
Speaker 2: the old apartment and as previous stated, we're moving, which
Speaker 2: means I'd have to drive down to the old apartment
Speaker 2: to get a puppet and drive it back. So I'm like,
Speaker 2: I mean, that's if that's what you want, that's what
Speaker 2: I'm willing to do.
Speaker 1: I'm picturing your old apartment just having a puppet sitting
Speaker 1: in the list.
Speaker 2: You're one hundred percent right. If we were to take
Speaker 2: a picture of the living room in that old apartment,
Speaker 2: it's just Chad on a stand sitting on a desk.
Speaker 2: That's all that's in that room, which is great because
Speaker 2: it's an automatic theft deterrent because if you break into
Speaker 2: that and that's what you see, it's like, I don't
Speaker 2: think this is for us. That's cursed.
Speaker 1: This place that's a cursed seems cursed. Yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: an Annabelle situations.
Speaker 2: In fact, we should stop robbing in general. I think
Speaker 2: we've hit our peage.
Speaker 1: We should just task rabb it.
Speaker 2: Task rabbit for robberies. I love that. That's a great idea.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, Chad the Bird. I'm assuming there's there needs
Speaker 2: to be some backstory there. So yeah, I do a
Speaker 2: character in Chicago, but also we're touring pretty soon and
Speaker 2: it kind of picked up a lot of traction online
Speaker 2: like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, he has his own discord page
Speaker 2: now he has more followers than I do.
Speaker 1: Oh hell yeah.
Speaker 2: And he's a talking bird who is from Laguna Beach,
Speaker 2: so he has a really thick like well, he used
Speaker 2: to have a really fit California. He's been doing him
Speaker 2: for a while and it kind of like drifts in
Speaker 2: and out of Chicago because he's been here long enough.
Speaker 1: Right, he's relocated.
Speaker 2: I mean he's miging. He's migrated, if you will, that
Speaker 2: would be so yeah. I do him once a week
Speaker 2: in Chicago at a show called The Paper Machete, which
Speaker 2: is a it's like a live magazine. It is a
Speaker 2: live magazine. It's a Prairie Home Companion meets this American
Speaker 2: Life meets daily show. You know, we have a head editor.
Speaker 2: It gives everybody a news story that week, and we
Speaker 2: have a bunch of op eds and he loves puppets
Speaker 2: and that's Chris Piett is the name of the guy
Speaker 2: who runs it, and because of that, he wanted me
Speaker 2: to be there every week. So I've been doing that
Speaker 2: for about twelve years. So once a week, I get
Speaker 2: a like on a Friday, I get a news story
Speaker 2: that I need to google, and then I have twenty
Speaker 2: four hours to write a ten minute op ed and
Speaker 2: then I go to the Green Mill, which is this legendary,
Speaker 2: haunted gangster bar in Chicago. It was al Capone's Bouncers
Speaker 2: Club and it's been there since the thirties. It's one
Speaker 2: of my favorite places. It's awesome, but it is absolutely
Speaker 2: haunted by dead gangsters and uh yeah, and it's the
Speaker 2: perfect room for that show because it's low lit, it's
Speaker 2: a historical ambit. It's a jazz bar. It's like a
Speaker 2: legendary jazz bar, and it feels like a jazz bar.
Speaker 2: So going in there, you've already kind of in this like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I want to drink and think. But it's all afternoon
Speaker 2: and it's a comedy show, so it gets pretty rowdy.
Speaker 2: And then but yeah, and then I pop up as
Speaker 2: a puppet, and he gained a lot of traction the
Speaker 2: Chad character, and so I started doing it every week,
Speaker 2: and so yeah, that's the That's how I keep up
Speaker 2: on the news is this show because I have to.
Speaker 2: So it's kind of like being a journalist. It's like
Speaker 2: a journalist puppet. It's like doing Sesame Street for Hipster's Day,
Speaker 2: drinking in a haunted gangster bar. In fact that it's of.
Speaker 1: A living, living newspaper, it is.
Speaker 2: And that that was his Chris's goal, because he loves,
Speaker 2: you know, that kind of stuff. He's a big Ira
Speaker 2: Glass fan too, so like has that to it, which
Speaker 2: I love because it's like a happening, like an old
Speaker 2: sixties happening, like back when all the great beat poets
Speaker 2: used to get together and with musicians and just do
Speaker 2: a show. That's what it feels like, except comedy and news.
Speaker 2: And so I don't ever want to stop doing it.
Speaker 2: It's great. And because of that, we've been like filming
Speaker 2: Chad's performances at this thing, and I've been popping them
Speaker 2: up and that I put it on. I put it on,
Speaker 2: TikTok will. Here's what happened. I started doing more stand
Speaker 2: up before the pandemic happened as Chad because I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I got a thing going here. I might as well
Speaker 2: try it out and see where it goes. And I
Speaker 2: did one routine right in twenty twenty one, right when
Speaker 2: we started coming back, put up maybe a minute and
Speaker 2: a half of it on TikTok, and it was one
Speaker 2: of those things where it went viral really fast, and
Speaker 2: so like all of a sudden instant, it was like notification.
Speaker 2: I had to turn my notifications off because it was
Speaker 2: like your mother texting you, like somebody and you're like,
Speaker 2: that's all I kept thinking was, oh my god, somebody died.
Speaker 2: So I turned off my notifications for like a week
Speaker 2: and yeah, now he's he's it's it's become a job.
Speaker 2: And there's a lot of streaming that we do do
Speaker 2: YouTube streaming because and it was great because like I
Speaker 2: learned kind of how to do all of that during
Speaker 2: the pandemic, because like I can't do the live show.
Speaker 2: So that was a significant blow. And so then like
Speaker 2: emailing everybody and saying, hey, guys, I'm not doing this anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do what I would do my ten minute
Speaker 2: op ed thing on like Facebook, and they're like, you
Speaker 2: should try Instagram, you should try YouTube, and I was like,
Speaker 2: stop telling me what to do. But I did it anyway,
Speaker 2: and then kind of got a little savvy at doing that,
Speaker 2: and then TikTok thing exploded, and then that drizzled out
Speaker 2: into all the other things.
Speaker 1: And yeah, did you say you're doing You're on Twitch now.
Speaker 2: I did Twitch for a little while. It wasn't my favorite,
Speaker 2: but I'm going to probably jump back on doing YouTube
Speaker 2: right now. So there's a lot of stream on TikTok.
Speaker 2: The way it'll work is if I'm doing a stream,
Speaker 2: which are usually Wednesdays and Thursdays, I'll do like an
Speaker 2: hour on TikTok beforehand to like hype up the show,
Speaker 2: and then I'll move everybody over to YouTube to watch
Speaker 2: the stream. And it's been interesting because at first the
Speaker 2: guys that I got contacted by from Twitch, they were like, hey,
Speaker 2: you have a really popular public character. You should do
Speaker 2: Twitch stuff. And I was like, I don't know what
Speaker 2: that is, and so we started doing it. They wanted
Speaker 2: me to play Fortnite because I don't know why, and
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I mean, I guess that makes
Speaker 2: sense because Fortnite is a very popular game. I played Fortnite.
Speaker 2: That was a big pandemic activity that I got into,
Speaker 2: and it was a lot of fun. It's like playing
Speaker 2: tag with your friends and I love it. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: they were like, you need to you should do this
Speaker 2: on twitch as Chad and I was like, that is impossible.
Speaker 2: Then they're like, what was like, because I don't know
Speaker 2: if you know this, Chad is my hand and you
Speaker 2: need the hand to play the game. You need two
Speaker 2: of them, right, Actually it's a two thumber and so
Speaker 2: double thumbs. And so they were like, oh, well, how
Speaker 2: do we do this? And so we came up with
Speaker 2: a My buddy Brian, who's been on a bunch of
Speaker 2: streams with me, comes over and he's going to play Fortnite.
Speaker 2: And then I take the little cam and set it
Speaker 2: up so that it's positioned so that you just see Chad,
Speaker 2: and I built him a little controller so he's like
Speaker 2: furiously doing this while Brian's playing Fortnite. And that was
Speaker 2: fun for about three weeks and then I was like
Speaker 2: all right, and so what I he was like. But
Speaker 2: but I gained a little following from that and I
Speaker 2: was like, well, what can I game with one hand?
Speaker 2: And it was like instant. My nineties savvy teenage self
Speaker 2: came back and was like, you played a lot of
Speaker 2: CD ROM games back in the day. You had asthma there.
Speaker 2: You weren't out, you were in, so you know how
Speaker 2: to do this. So I went on Steam and found
Speaker 2: every nineties CD ROM game that I could think of,
Speaker 2: all the King's Quest games, all the Space Quest games,
Speaker 2: all the LucasArts games, and so it's great because it's
Speaker 2: point and click, and so once a week I'm usually
Speaker 2: like my elbows propped up here with a little camera
Speaker 2: and then my other hand is just like working its
Speaker 2: way through, like full throttle or something like that. We
Speaker 2: played Missed once that was fun, and oh my god,
Speaker 2: that's become the thing. So it's like I'm either showing
Speaker 2: off what I did that week on TikTok, which I
Speaker 2: do once a week, I'll or once a day I'll
Speaker 2: pop a little a minute and a half of what
Speaker 2: we did that week at the Green Mill. And then
Speaker 2: on sometimes it's like Wednesdays and Thursdays, I'll be live
Speaker 2: on YouTube streaming a game. Sometimes we do like old
Speaker 2: PSAs or safety videos or like cartoons that never aired,
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff, just like MST three, King the thing,
Speaker 2: and yeah, when it works, it's great. When I realized
Speaker 2: just how low tech and new with this, I am
Speaker 2: it's awful, cause like this setup right now, this is
Speaker 2: the most high tech I've been so far. Once we
Speaker 2: moved into this new apartment, I was like, oh wow,
Speaker 2: we have fiber, I can go, I can do all
Speaker 2: kinds of stuff with it. And built a little desk
Speaker 2: to have the mic here in the camera there. And
Speaker 2: but like back when it was ham radio chords hanging
Speaker 2: duct taped to the ceiling, I'm in a tank top
Speaker 2: because it's a thousand degrees in my apartment and I've
Speaker 2: got this little puppet on my hand. I'm just like,
Speaker 2: hey guys, we're fucking oh cool, we're playing this as
Speaker 2: ah man, if people walked in, anyone could see me
Speaker 2: through that window, was like, this man is on a
Speaker 2: list and absolutely participated in January sixth, So big.
Speaker 1: Fun man, he has hit and he's hit rock.
Speaker 2: It did not work out, Uh yeah, no, as it
Speaker 2: should know.
Speaker 1: And there's there's a steep learning for you know, for
Speaker 1: a lot of those platforms. To Twitch in particular is
Speaker 1: one that you know once you get into the obs
Speaker 1: and there's just so many bells and whistles that you
Speaker 1: can add to that to those streams that you know,
Speaker 1: and it's it's amazing to watch somebody who's a pro
Speaker 1: at it, you know, operate. It's just like, how are you.
Speaker 2: Teach me game? And you're twenty twenty years younger than
Speaker 2: you and you're just kind of like, well, we're we're good.
Speaker 2: So we could just go to the seat. We'll just
Speaker 2: walk into the sea and let you guys run the
Speaker 2: planet because we're I'm in the way at this point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please, I'm just gonna lay down and just never
Speaker 1: get back.
Speaker 2: I'm good. You You've nailed it, way well done. You're
Speaker 2: playing some classic Zeppelin.
Speaker 1: You're playing I can't set up a freaking nest. My
Speaker 1: nest and took me two hours, you're it's yeah, You're like.
Speaker 2: It's the size of a coffee mug and it took
Speaker 2: me two hours just to tell it what to do.
Speaker 2: And this yeah twenty five year old is like, hey man,
Speaker 2: I'm gonta set up a discord for you. Hang on
Speaker 2: a second, what are you a robot? And he's like, nah, man,
Speaker 2: I'm in Portland.
Speaker 1: He's like, you sound hungry.
Speaker 2: You don't know me. Where are you at in the world?
Speaker 1: Will I'm in Los Angeles? Le yeah, and I'm also
Speaker 1: an actor and you know, performer director.
Speaker 2: Oh I googled, you don't worry. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: a Googler.
Speaker 1: But but so this show is the first in house
Speaker 1: production of the company Collab, which is is a company
Speaker 1: that I started with my two brothers back in twenty twelve.
Speaker 1: But we started as digital content creator creators ourselves, making
Speaker 1: online sketch, comedy videos, animation, all sorts of stuff like that,
Speaker 1: super fun, and we were barely, you know, barely keeping
Speaker 1: the lights on, you know, barely scraping by, even though
Speaker 1: we were like a preferred Google part ner where Google
Speaker 1: would send uh their premium channels to come shoot at
Speaker 1: our studio. We were kind of like the the YouTube
Speaker 1: space before they built the YouTube space, And we would
Speaker 1: have like Deepak Chopra coming in once a week and
Speaker 1: do YouTube videos and I'd be like running teleprompter for
Speaker 1: him and like just putting it on the slowest setting
Speaker 1: possible as it.
Speaker 2: I know, this is Deepok Chopra's setting.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a personal.
Speaker 2: Ten a time.
Speaker 1: We are all God in dress.
Speaker 2: Slow it down, Slow it down. He's overheating fast uh
Speaker 2: the uh yeah, And again I've only really like because
Speaker 2: I've been doing the Chad the Bird character live for things,
Speaker 2: and I I mean we worked with some because like
Speaker 2: the show is pretty well known just in like the
Speaker 2: Comedy Circle, because like a lot of the stand ups
Speaker 2: want to do it because they all want to play
Speaker 2: the Green Mill and that kind of put us into
Speaker 2: a bigger talent bracket, like Groflo has done at a bunch,
Speaker 2: Mark Marin has done a couple. I mean like name Drop,
Speaker 2: name Dub, named Aub, name Drop, but like a bunch
Speaker 2: of names have come through. I mean you name Drop,
Speaker 2: Deep October. I want to jump in for just a second.
Speaker 1: Who expected that? One?
Speaker 2: Zero people we had from Night Court come by ones.
Speaker 1: That was cool, But.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have it's a lot of and there. It's
Speaker 2: always fun. The room is always great and it's always
Speaker 2: like Chris red was was it was one of his
Speaker 2: first shows. Was our show. Rommy Joseph has done it
Speaker 2: a bunch anyway. Anyway anyway, but because of that, like
Speaker 2: we I was like, well, why would I want to
Speaker 2: do any other room? What's the point. This is the room?
Speaker 2: You know, we have about two hundred people a week
Speaker 2: here and then everything shut down and it was like well,
Speaker 2: now you got to come up with something different. And
Speaker 2: then because of that, TikTok happens, TikTok Go's viral, and
Speaker 2: now all of those cats are all like, oh I,
Speaker 2: I yeah, are you still doing this? I'm like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I haven't stopped. Do you want to give me a bump?
Speaker 2: Because that'd be nice? And so like, it's been an
Speaker 2: interesting like because now we're doing it live again, and
Speaker 2: then it's all kind of slowly coming together in a lovely,
Speaker 2: lovely cyclical kind of way, which is nice because you
Speaker 2: it's one of those things where like you've been priming
Speaker 2: the pump, priming the pump, priming the pump, and you're like,
Speaker 2: when is this going to strike? Should I stop reading?
Speaker 2: And you always think about that when you've got a
Speaker 2: felt sock on your hand once a week, Should I
Speaker 2: quiz this shit?
Speaker 1: Should I keep doing that?
Speaker 2: Luckily, I drink for free at the Green Mill, so
Speaker 2: there's there's not a lot of times I really have
Speaker 2: to pump like think about it, and I feel like
Speaker 2: that's the reason why they're like, well, you don't have
Speaker 2: to pay for drinks. We don't want you to think
Speaker 2: about what you've been doing for a decade and change.
Speaker 1: Just keeping boozed up.
Speaker 2: And he'll just I'll do the puppet share cool fresh
Speaker 2: are you do you think about your future? You don't
Speaker 2: want to do that. That's a terrible idea. Don't look
Speaker 2: back and then like now it's now it's content creation.
Speaker 2: Now it's like building. And now the next step is tour.
Speaker 2: So we're going to tour in twenty twenty three, have
Speaker 2: a bunch of venues that we're going to hit up,
Speaker 2: see what we doing to fundraise a little bit, and
Speaker 2: then I'm gonna take a road trip for a few
Speaker 2: months and do it around the area. We'll be in
Speaker 2: California for sure, but probably at the end of the tour.
Speaker 2: Because the whole thing about Chad is that Chad's from
Speaker 2: Laguna Beach. Because I used to live in Los Angeles
Speaker 2: and I lived in Culver Well, I live in Culver City.
Speaker 2: I didn't live Nobody lives in LA You don't live I.
Speaker 1: Know what, I know it quite well. I was. I
Speaker 1: was a part of the Actors Gang Theater, which is
Speaker 1: oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: I lived right right like right where that in and
Speaker 2: out is and the Museum of Jurassic Technology Technology.
Speaker 1: I lived only open on like Tuesdays and time. I
Speaker 1: thought four pm to nine.
Speaker 2: I thought it was a set because that's the thing.
Speaker 2: I'm from Iowa originally, so like coming so like Iowa Boston, La,
Speaker 2: because everybody's like, don't go to LA, don't go to LA.
Speaker 2: And I was like, no one can actually tell you
Speaker 2: why you don't want to go to LA. It's just like,
Speaker 2: oh no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. So
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm I mean, I'm in the art,
Speaker 2: so I gotta go figure this out. So I go there.
Speaker 2: I liked LA a lot, but like we so everywhere
Speaker 2: you went in LA was a it's a movie set,
Speaker 2: like you recognize it. So like you're trying to have
Speaker 2: a conversation with someone, you're like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Is this is in a curb your enthusiastic Yeah, is.
Speaker 2: That from T two? Is that the tunnel from T two?
Speaker 2: Where they're like, yes, that's what that is? This?
Speaker 1: I think where we're standing was in a Kesha music.
Speaker 2: Video and actually she's right over there.
Speaker 1: You're there, Oh, hey, hey Kesha.
Speaker 2: Our building. Hey. We were on Robertson and National, so
Speaker 2: you're like right off the ten and our backyard is
Speaker 2: the old Fox. Well, I guess it's still the Fox
Speaker 2: Studio building, but Fox Studios isn't there anymore. It's Nakatomi
Speaker 2: Plaza from Diehard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to live I used to live in
Speaker 1: Century City and right on the other side of Nkotomy Plaza,
Speaker 1: and then I also used to live in Palms right
Speaker 1: by like Boardwalk Aladin and the yeah, the karaoke barb there.
Speaker 2: Uh so like that, and you know, being a having
Speaker 2: never been to Los Angeles, that was like every night
Speaker 2: we would just sit on the balcony and just watch
Speaker 2: the helicopters circle MAKOTOI Plaza and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 2: now understand every eighties action movie. It's just that's what
Speaker 2: was there.
Speaker 1: We'll just shoots also where all of our taxpayer dollars
Speaker 1: are going to those circling police choppers.
Speaker 2: Police choppers, which look I live in Chicago. I've seen
Speaker 2: some things, but I have never experienced anything as exciting
Speaker 2: as watching a helicopter pull someone over on the highway.
Speaker 2: And it is it is an event, like if that's
Speaker 2: if you see that going down, if you see that
Speaker 2: searchlight skitting by, you like, pull over and watch that
Speaker 2: go down, because it is wild.
Speaker 1: You're paying for Yeah, yeah, I mean you might as
Speaker 1: well an expensive way to police a city.
Speaker 2: Being on the beach because we would walk down because
Speaker 2: you know, again Midwesterners, so we walk everywhere, which I
Speaker 2: think is hilarious because it's sixty eight, seventy eight degrees
Speaker 2: every single day in La and no one walks anywhere. Meanwhile, Chicago,
Speaker 2: it's negative, screw you out, and people are just like,
Speaker 2: I gotta go to the Story. You guys want to go, Hey,
Speaker 2: we'll just keep going. We'll walk to work y seven
Speaker 2: layers layer. But like, yeah, we would walk down to
Speaker 2: Venice Beach and people are like, why are you guys walking?
Speaker 2: We're like, cause it's seventy eight.
Speaker 1: Go because why aren't you what?
Speaker 2: And then we realized, oh, because there are no sidewalks
Speaker 2: that go the direction you want to go.
Speaker 1: So we were like, have you ever seen La Story City?
Speaker 2: Perfect?
Speaker 1: It's a perfect I think the most quintessential spot on
Speaker 1: scene is that he walks out the front door, gets
Speaker 1: in his car, drives to his neighbor's house one door down.
Speaker 2: Anybody that asks like what was La Like, I'm like,
Speaker 2: there's only one movie and it's La Story by Steve Martin,
Speaker 2: That's exactly what it's like. It's not a joke, that's
Speaker 2: just how it is.
Speaker 1: Still Sands. I watched it maybe a year ago and
Speaker 1: I was like, Yep, a lot of this still hits.
Speaker 2: Still pretty true. The whole when everybody's ordering decaf cappuccinos.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, yeah, that was that it would take
Speaker 2: an hour to order.
Speaker 1: And that I forgot about the like the road rage
Speaker 1: scene where he's like, oh, it's open season on the
Speaker 1: four or five and he just pull everybody pulls out
Speaker 1: a gun and just starts shooting at each other in See.
Speaker 2: What's funny about that is that I'm like, that's more
Speaker 2: Chicago now, right, but.
Speaker 1: Not as bad as I guess there was a time.
Speaker 1: There was a time in la where everyone was just
Speaker 1: like shooting at each other.
Speaker 2: I've seen I've seen people throwing like when you cause,
Speaker 2: in Chicago, if you get off of the wrong neighborhood,
Speaker 2: you can easily find yourself, you know, know where you
Speaker 2: need to go. And it really isn't that bad. Chicago's
Speaker 2: what the ninth safest city in the world in the
Speaker 2: country right now, and so I think there's a lot
Speaker 2: of and I'm really only saying this for the podcast
Speaker 2: so that people can stop saying it, because like we're
Speaker 2: getting a little tired of it, because Fox News and
Speaker 2: the Trump Universe has decided that in the multiverse of
Speaker 2: the world where this Trump first exist, that Chicago is
Speaker 2: this hellscape where it's just like everybody's shooting everybody, parents
Speaker 2: are setting their kids on fire. You can't drive.
Speaker 1: Anywhere black on black, and it's like, don't say that.
Speaker 2: Also what and so no, that's not what it's like.
Speaker 2: But we are going to continue saying it because anyone
Speaker 2: who believes it, we don't want you here anyway. So
Speaker 2: as far as I'm concerned, oh, it's a hellscape. Man,
Speaker 2: I can't even go outside. It's awful. But like I
Speaker 2: never you know, whenever you get lost in Chicago, you can.
Speaker 2: It's you can find your your way back LA before GPS.
Speaker 2: I don't even I can't even imagine what that would
Speaker 2: have been like for me.
Speaker 1: It's my I grew up here, and yeah, I had
Speaker 1: a freaking Thomas Guide in my car, and you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: you'd have to be like, okay, you got to get
Speaker 1: on the on the We're going to take the one
Speaker 1: to the ten to the one five.
Speaker 2: We're on the six O five. There's the six o five.
Speaker 2: It's been here the whole time. It's over the four
Speaker 2: of five.
Speaker 1: I've never looked at who knows where the ten, the
Speaker 1: two ten, and the five meeting San Dimas man it's true.
Speaker 2: Having been to San Dimas many times, I uh so, yeah.
Speaker 2: Because I'm from Iowa and I'm an idiot, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I funk in gotta go to Laguna Beach. I gotta
Speaker 2: check out you know, San Dimas. I gotta go see
Speaker 2: where Bill and Ted was, you know, and none of
Speaker 2: it was filmed there, so whatever. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is it? Okay? Cool? I mean there's a counter there.
Speaker 2: I think I don't remember it. Maybe there was a
Speaker 2: counter there, maybe there was an an astro, I don't remember. Uh.
Speaker 2: And So I went to Laguna Beach and I had
Speaker 2: friends that were from Laguna Beach and like just talking
Speaker 2: to them. That's where the Chad character came from. Was
Speaker 2: me making fun of like Alex Winter doing San Dimas
Speaker 2: teenager mixed with Laguna Beach teenagers. That I know that
Speaker 2: because you know, they all sort of sound like this,
Speaker 2: like it's not like a real accent because nobody really
Speaker 2: sounds like that. They just do this. I don't know why, because.
Speaker 1: Like, have you seen those two guys who go to
Speaker 1: like they go to like, uh, you know, city council meetings.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like we're super bummed that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where the Chad character came from. Because I
Speaker 2: so when Chris was like, hey, I want you to
Speaker 2: do this Chad thing once a week, I started remember,
Speaker 2: I started thinking about like Bill and Ted Zacks on Adventure,
Speaker 2: which I still think is one of the finest movies
Speaker 2: ever made. And I'll stand back. I love the trilogy,
Speaker 2: like all of it is great. Yeah, Bi, yeah, but
Speaker 2: the first one is one of those movies where if
Speaker 2: you go back and rewatch and just take it in,
Speaker 2: it's brilliant and it's it's the funniest part in that movie. Sidebar.
Speaker 2: I think the funniest part in that movie is when
Speaker 2: they land this is how good this movie as well?
Speaker 2: They land their time machine in the back of Bill's
Speaker 2: New Moms Play Missy's doings. She's doing yard work and
Speaker 2: all the historical figures come out and they have to
Speaker 2: pretend that they aren't who they are, like as if
Speaker 2: she would know or believe them, And the way they
Speaker 2: do it is just casually like make up names. They're like, ah,
Speaker 2: this is Herman the Kid, Bob Genghis Khan, so creates Johnson.
Speaker 2: It's so good because I'm like, like that Matt Herman
Speaker 2: the Kid, Like, oh, it's Herman the Kid.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, right right. And then and you've also got
Speaker 1: George Carlin, who's just like the great you know, greatest
Speaker 1: comedians of all time, just playing a straight man time
Speaker 1: traveler Rufus.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what does Rufus do? He doesn't do much,
Speaker 2: but you just make sure that they remember what they
Speaker 2: He basically just reminds them what they're doing, like he's
Speaker 2: their r a that just shows up. It's like, hey, guys,
Speaker 2: you don't want to do that anyway, back to class.
Speaker 1: Here's your time machine. Yeah, have fun.
Speaker 2: And then uh oh man. So Alex Winter and and
Speaker 2: Keanu Reeves doing their presentation at the end of Bill
Speaker 2: and Ted Zaxon Adventure is every green Mill Chad the
Speaker 2: Bird Peace because I'm like, oh, just do Bill and
Speaker 2: Ted trying to do a history report about whatever the
Speaker 2: news story is. So it's a lot of Chad being like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: so a lot of people are going to tell you that,
Speaker 2: you know that the fact that it's one hundred and
Speaker 2: ten in Texas is normal. It turns out that's Vegas.
Speaker 2: It's not normal, and here's why. And so that's like
Speaker 2: every every week.
Speaker 1: I gotta send you. I just recently wrote a sketch
Speaker 1: that is Bill and Ted and Thomas Jeffers excellent. And
Speaker 1: they're basically like a lot of people have been talking about,
Speaker 1: you know, the Constitution recently and like what is constitutional?
Speaker 1: So we thought, why not bring one of the founding
Speaker 1: fathers who wrote the thing to find out what his
Speaker 1: take is on the matters at hand. And he's just
Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson, Yeah, exactly, and he's just like you, ma'am,
Speaker 1: like why are your shoulders exposed? And like where's your chaperone?
Speaker 2: Why is your slave telling you what to do?
Speaker 1: He's my At one part, they're like, just so you
Speaker 1: know slavery was abolished in eighteen sixty five before you
Speaker 1: say anything like horribly racist, And Thomas Jefferson's like, great, great, cool.
Speaker 2: Good to know they Hey cool, I love it.
Speaker 1: I want very happy. I want very happy for them.
Speaker 2: That's great. Yeah, that's like the whole Chad thing is
Speaker 2: that it's like a little mix of like a nineties
Speaker 2: nineties surfer stoner because that was like the ultimate uh
Speaker 2: intelligence level when we were in high school. Was like
Speaker 2: these guys understood time travel because they were so not
Speaker 2: interested in everything else that they could wrap their minds
Speaker 2: around this impossible concept like these they they not only
Speaker 2: did they get it, they rocked it. And and in
Speaker 2: the end, as.
Speaker 1: We started getting into like, oh, we gotta put this
Speaker 1: thing here later, that shit was.
Speaker 2: Like excellent, excellent. All three of those movies are fantastic.
Speaker 2: I when when the third one came out face the music, Oh,
Speaker 2: I cried. I still cry. At the end of that
Speaker 2: movie when they asked their dads to come on stage
Speaker 2: and they rock out, I was like one last ride
Speaker 2: of the wild Stallions. This is such a specific thing
Speaker 2: going on that a very specific generation of Americans will
Speaker 2: understand because Bill and Ted was a phenomenon. When that
Speaker 2: came out, it was supposed to it's just like It's
Speaker 2: Ventura and all that stuff. They were supposed to just
Speaker 2: be stupid one off stoner comedies. Bill and Ted changed
Speaker 2: the lexicon, like every like how we spoke shifted when
Speaker 2: that movie came out. I just don't. I don't. I
Speaker 2: just don't think kids today will understand. They won't. Why
Speaker 2: would they? But like also, why does it matter? It's
Speaker 2: totally different now, but.
Speaker 1: Like station station station, Station, station.
Speaker 2: Station, and like yeah, and then Willie Sadler is Death
Speaker 2: is like, this is the the greatest cameo of all time,
Speaker 2: is him as Death and then him showing up and
Speaker 2: Face the music is legendary, I think, fantastic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then also no, ho hank Robots?
Speaker 2: Is that? God?
Speaker 3: Oh God?
Speaker 2: But like the scene like when they because like spoiler
Speaker 2: alert for those of you who have not seen Faced
Speaker 2: the music, Like, come on, guys, seriously that when they
Speaker 2: accidentally kill a bunch of people in one scene, and
Speaker 2: I was sitting there. I was like, oh damn, they
Speaker 2: just killed a bunch of guys. And I was like, ah, wait,
Speaker 2: that's right.
Speaker 1: They know that travel Death was in the band and Death.
Speaker 1: Remember fix that.
Speaker 2: They can fix that, wrap it up, like that's right.
Speaker 2: He and I just remember sitting there in the in
Speaker 2: my apartment because we were on a zoom call, a
Speaker 2: bunch of us watching that movie together, and I just
Speaker 2: we were all just like they on the little screens
Speaker 2: were all just like and I was like, guys, no,
Speaker 2: it's cool. Death used to be in their band.
Speaker 1: And then you realize they're bass player.
Speaker 2: He used to don't you remember he played bass and
Speaker 2: a bab and like and like had his own solo
Speaker 2: career if you remember from the credits from Bogus Journey.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, how much of this series
Speaker 2: is ingrained in my mind? And it Yeah. I did
Speaker 2: a whole retrospective with Chad on the history of Bill
Speaker 2: and Ted's Excellent Adventure for a YouTube video during the pandemic,
Speaker 2: and it was the most fun I've had doing any
Speaker 2: of this. Was like, that's when I learned that Jane
Speaker 2: Wheedland from the Go Gos is Joan of Arc in
Speaker 2: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. The woman who wrote vacation.
Speaker 2: I think that's right, it's vacation. She it was either vacation, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think it's vacation that the I could google it,
Speaker 2: but you can as well. But yeah, Wheedland wrote, she
Speaker 2: you know from the Go Gos lead singer, Yeah, and
Speaker 2: a guitarist I think too. But like she's also she's
Speaker 2: not just Joan of ARC, she's also the singing telegram
Speaker 2: girl from Clue, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, and that was like, literally just watched Clue
Speaker 1: five days ago. Excellent, And because I'm directing it at
Speaker 1: Culver City High School, it's all coming together.
Speaker 2: We never leave it.
Speaker 1: I was just watching that movie. Yeah, that that very
Speaker 1: quick cameo of the singing telegrammer who gets instantly shot.
Speaker 2: Instantly shot.
Speaker 1: I feel bad. I feel bad for whatever high school
Speaker 1: kid gets cast.
Speaker 2: The easiest refecond. You just have to tap dates briefly,
Speaker 2: but know that one of the members of the Go
Speaker 2: Gos was that character and was Joan of Arc. And
Speaker 2: then I went on this deep dive into like who
Speaker 2: played the little Finger Wizard moments whenever they would do
Speaker 2: their little d's because three separate guys did it, and
Speaker 2: they're all from different like metal bands, but in face
Speaker 2: the music, it's Toast and a BOSSI from Animals as
Speaker 2: Leaders is the guitarist that every time they do their
Speaker 2: little wheedly it's him, And I was like that he's
Speaker 2: a legend, Like he's he is top tier. These the
Speaker 2: best guitar player in the world right now. And you
Speaker 2: call this guy up, He's like, hey, do you want
Speaker 2: to do like a little remember Bernie. He's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: hell yeah man.
Speaker 1: For Bill and Ted, Yes, well that's anything.
Speaker 2: And that comes down to like the weird Al thing
Speaker 2: where it's like you get all these legendary performers that
Speaker 2: anyone would do anything for, and then there's people like
Speaker 2: weird Al, and then there's novelty acts like Bill and
Speaker 2: Ted that anyone, anyone would do this for free.
Speaker 1: That would just bend over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's that's the true history of
Speaker 2: of like American pop culture. It's like, yeah, but like
Speaker 2: Doctor Demento and like how many people would how many
Speaker 2: big like platinum recording artists would do anything to be
Speaker 2: on a Weird Al album? You know?
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I just watched Bullet Training, oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's and it kind of suffers from that mentality of
Speaker 1: like people just anyone will be in this Brad pit
Speaker 1: Laed movie, but it's not that good, Like this script swing.
Speaker 1: There's a bunch of swing and miss jokes just like
Speaker 1: big old whiffs in it, and it's like, guys should
Speaker 1: have spend a little more time on this.
Speaker 2: Well. I also think that that's what happens when you
Speaker 2: do high profile people like that, is that it stops
Speaker 2: being funny because you're like, well, but your Brad Pitt though,
Speaker 2: Like it's funny when you're a cameo and you show
Speaker 2: up and you're like, oh, Brad Pitt's.
Speaker 1: Here, he's great pit and he's like, my dad's a
Speaker 1: weather man, Like that's why you're so handsome.
Speaker 2: Fine, great, get in there like him showing up in
Speaker 2: like all of the the because like we those of
Speaker 2: us who grew up with Brad Pitt obviously, like we
Speaker 2: remember him from like twelve same block from Yeah, yeah, man,
Speaker 2: he's just Brad from the block.
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, just hanging out, just play stickball together.
Speaker 2: He used to get Taketos gets seven to eleven with
Speaker 2: him and just hang out. Man. He was crazy talking
Speaker 2: about the dream. Yeah, but yeah, I know he because
Speaker 2: he was like it was like twelve monkeys, like he
Speaker 2: he started out as a character actor and then became
Speaker 2: like a heart throb. And it's weird to go the
Speaker 2: first now because you're like, no, you're too pretty, don't
Speaker 2: stop it. Come on. I tried.
Speaker 1: I just like how I just always notice now when
Speaker 1: he's eating, because every scene he's eating. That's like his
Speaker 1: go to acting move in any role is like, can
Speaker 1: I just eating an apple in the scene, Like the
Speaker 1: amount of scenes where Brad is eating an apple is you.
Speaker 2: Know, because I'm hungry.
Speaker 1: That's smart, that's but that's just like character. That's my
Speaker 1: character choice. Like I just I'm always snacking.
Speaker 2: Brad, Do you just want to get lunch?
Speaker 1: We gotta work, we gotta go, we gotta keep going,
Speaker 1: keep going. I went to so I feel like this
Speaker 1: guy is like a sunflower scene guy, So like he's
Speaker 1: just always got a handful of sunflowing.
Speaker 2: Sure, okay, what he does. I just think that when
Speaker 2: you get those kinds of comedies, with the exception of
Speaker 2: like Clue, because we were talking about Clue, where you
Speaker 2: have a bunch of big name stars in this movie,
Speaker 2: which I guess, I mean they were big then too,
Speaker 2: so it wasn't like they weren't character arctics. I mean
Speaker 2: maybe Christopher Lloyd and Michael McKean, But like all the
Speaker 2: women in that movie.
Speaker 1: Are Bernadette Peters, flames, Madeleine Cohn fire?
Speaker 2: Was that Madeline Cohn was?
Speaker 1: She She's a miss White. She's just that one flames
Speaker 1: class flames on the side.
Speaker 2: She's she does these little things in the movie. So
Speaker 2: my dad went to school with madelon Con, So she's
Speaker 2: kind of like a legend in our family, like because
Speaker 2: like blazing saddles all that kind of stuff. Also, she's
Speaker 2: a legend in the world. I don't know if you've
Speaker 2: heard of her. Anyway, I don't know why that was
Speaker 2: a flex.
Speaker 1: I confused her with Burnett, but like her an idiot.
Speaker 2: She does these little moments in that movie where she'll
Speaker 2: like she's her breath stops in her chest, like she'll
Speaker 2: try to say something. She's just kind of and it
Speaker 2: kills me every time because I'm like, yeah, same on
Speaker 2: a daily basis. But like those kinds of like movies
Speaker 2: like Clue Knives Out is another a good example of
Speaker 2: like bringing a list actors and making it funny and
Speaker 2: still like you can get past the fact that all
Speaker 2: of these people are famous. But it's a tricky tightrope.
Speaker 2: I think the only other one that I can think
Speaker 2: of right now that I really liked was Get Shorty,
Speaker 2: because you know, you had Travolta, you had Hackman, you
Speaker 2: had Riney Russo, you had del Ray Lindau, you had
Speaker 2: James Gandolfini in that movie, and Divito as Divito and
Speaker 2: give it to me on a love that's my second
Speaker 2: favorite movie of all time. But like Bullet Train didn't
Speaker 2: let them be characters, they just were them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just Channing Tatum sitting on a train.
Speaker 2: Right, And I was like, you know, okay, okay. I
Speaker 2: mean it's pretty, there's a lot of money behind it.
Speaker 2: But I always get wary when those things happen where
Speaker 2: it's like big name director, big name actors comedy. I'm like,
Speaker 2: this isn't gonna be funny.
Speaker 1: Uh it was, but yeah, man, it was like a
Speaker 1: B minus where it was like, there's some really fun
Speaker 1: parts in here. I don't know Michael Shannon too. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess that's kind of a spoiler, but yeah, well
Speaker 1: Michael has shown up in a wig. Yeah, Michael Shannon
Speaker 1: and a wig in a Russian accent.
Speaker 2: I mean hometown pride there, you know, because he still
Speaker 2: lives here. He's still around all the time. He shows
Speaker 2: up all kinds of wild places. It's funny because he's
Speaker 2: like kind of like a sasquatch in Chicago where everyone's
Speaker 2: got a Michael Shannon's sighting story where they're.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, he's just always blurry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's moving too, fast. But yeah, that's that's the
Speaker 2: thing that like in Chicago, the few of us that
Speaker 2: actually get like a national platform. Everybody sees around all
Speaker 2: the time, and I think it's on purpose. I think
Speaker 2: Michael Shannon is just like walking around being like, I
Speaker 2: just want to remind you all who's turf you're on.
Speaker 2: This is Shannon Town.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: Lots of big eyed, staredowns and you're like, well, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to fight you, man, You're tall.
Speaker 1: He's really tall too, and I bet and intense.
Speaker 2: He's very intense.
Speaker 1: I remember. One of my favorite things he's ever done
Speaker 1: is he did a dramatic reading of that Oh the Sorority.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's excellent.
Speaker 1: If you if anybody who's listened you hasn't seen that, please.
Speaker 2: Just google Michael Shannon Sorority Girl and you're welcome.
Speaker 1: Uh well, Josh, we only have a few minutes left.
Speaker 1: We didn't even really get into a story, but I
Speaker 1: mean many stories were told.
Speaker 2: But hey, it was a sampler. It was like a flight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was kind of a sizzler.
Speaker 2: Yes, said tapas. We had story tapas for this episode,
Speaker 2: totally out of format.
Speaker 1: Uh, if if you, if there is a tight, you know,
Speaker 1: a tight story that you have that you want to
Speaker 1: throw throw down. I'd love to get a little story
Speaker 1: time in.
Speaker 2: So, as previously mentioned, I went to school in Boston,
Speaker 2: Uh you know, and uh, you know I'm from Iowa.
Speaker 2: I don't really know any better. Uh and uh, I
Speaker 2: you know, didn't I have my first like real drink
Speaker 2: in college, you know, never touched anything until then late
Speaker 2: bloom late bloomer and then went ham and don't remember
Speaker 2: forman year at all. I don't recommend that path. I say,
Speaker 2: start when you're ready. I just was like, well, I
Speaker 2: should probably do this because I'm really uptight, and then
Speaker 2: woke up and you know, suddenly I'm like bisexual and
Speaker 2: just expend. I'm like, oh, I had no idea. Oh
Speaker 2: this is awesome. What a great weekend I tried.
Speaker 1: I tried black tar heroin.
Speaker 2: And I'm in a polyamorous relationship now it's such a
Speaker 2: good time. So yeah, no, but like college was wild.
Speaker 2: But the one story I do really actually remember from college,
Speaker 2: and I can tell you because I thought this would
Speaker 2: be kind of fun to to give you a little,
Speaker 2: a little adventure story that would actually make a very
Speaker 2: good comedy with a bunch of a list actors. So
Speaker 2: my buddy Sam, who builds cars, that was his thing
Speaker 2: because he's a he's from like northern Massachusetts area, so
Speaker 2: he's from Grotten which is famous for car lots and
Speaker 2: serial killers. So he builds cars, and to me, that's
Speaker 2: just fascinating because I'm you know, I don't know, I
Speaker 2: don't know anything about cars. So he we went out
Speaker 2: to a car a car yard and found an old
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty six Chevrolet station Wagon and we fix it
Speaker 2: up kind of three breaks worked so you could change
Speaker 2: lanes by hitting the brakes and it would swing its
Speaker 2: ass into the oncoming traffic.
Speaker 1: This is all coming from the guy who can't set
Speaker 1: up the nests.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, it all checks out. I didn't do anything.
Speaker 2: I just held screwdrivers and smoked. Yeah so, and drank
Speaker 2: drink and drank a lot. And so now we're going
Speaker 2: to drive to my parents place in Iowa, where I'm from.
Speaker 2: We're going to drive from Boston to Iowa. It's going
Speaker 2: to be the great American road trip. You know, in
Speaker 2: the middle of school. This is the kind of guy that,
Speaker 2: like you'd be in the middle class. And I get
Speaker 2: a text message which we did have We didn't have
Speaker 2: smartphones yet, but we did have text messages and I
Speaker 2: get a text me like look out the Windo and
Speaker 2: I look at the window class and he'd be in
Speaker 2: the parking lot in a suit with an Audie just like, Hey,
Speaker 2: I'm test driving this. You want to go? And I'm
Speaker 2: like I'm in class and he's like, I know, do
Speaker 2: you want to go? And I'm like yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So you know he's got some Ferris Bueller VI.
Speaker 2: He was a living Ferris Bueller. So we ended up
Speaker 2: building this car. We decided to chrome the whole thing
Speaker 2: because we were insane, and we soldered a portion out
Speaker 2: eleven spoiler on the roof so it looked like in
Speaker 2: our minds, we were like, we'll call it the Moon Doggie.
Speaker 2: It's space car. To anyone else, it's the Homer car
Speaker 2: from the Simpsons episode. And it just looked like a nightmare.
Speaker 2: And so we drove this nineteen eighty six Frankenstein monster
Speaker 2: car with three breaks that worked from Boston to Des
Speaker 2: Moines twice, and on the way there the first time,
Speaker 2: we decided, because we were high, that we were going
Speaker 2: to check out Niagara Falls because I've never been to
Speaker 2: Niagara Falls. I won't check it out, so I fall
Speaker 2: asleep in the back, which we turned into like a
Speaker 2: little lounge couch, like no seatbelts. It was just like
Speaker 2: throw pillows and cow and you know, and the radio
Speaker 2: didn't work. We had to have a CD player with us,
Speaker 2: so every time we hit a bump, it would skip.
Speaker 2: Greatest road trip ever. So here we are driving through
Speaker 2: the thing. Meanwhile, any car coming from the oncoming lane
Speaker 2: was like swerving because it was chrome. So if it
Speaker 2: was in the middle of the day, just blast blinding
Speaker 2: comet coming at you like like just like a mirrored sunglass,
Speaker 2: just coming right at your face, just a disco and
Speaker 2: you could hear it coming too, because as I said,
Speaker 2: three breaks work, so it was just like cockcha cockacha,
Speaker 2: cockacha cockag like and you're blind and you just stop.
Speaker 2: So like we got there in record time because everyone
Speaker 2: pulled over. So there I'm passed out in backseat. I
Speaker 2: wake up. Guns just guns all over us, people in
Speaker 2: swat gear, aks, all kinds of things, and I'm in
Speaker 2: a baja and hemp shorts and birkenstock sandals and blue
Speaker 2: hair and mutton chopsreaking, just reeking and I get out
Speaker 2: of the car and I'm like, this is where I die,
Speaker 2: and so Sam and I are like eh. So then
Speaker 2: they bring us they you know, they search the car.
Speaker 2: They're like do we We're going to search the and
Speaker 2: we were like, please, don't. We just built it. It's
Speaker 2: held together with duct tape. And they're like, yeah, we're
Speaker 2: gonna take it apart. And we were like, oh, maybe
Speaker 2: they'll put it back together better than we did. So
Speaker 2: they take us into the police station and I remember
Speaker 2: so so the cops like points at me and he's like,
Speaker 2: come with me again. We don't know where we are.
Speaker 2: I wake up two guns. So cop brings me into
Speaker 2: the bag full on body cavity search. So I have
Speaker 2: an officer getting to know me really well at nine
Speaker 2: o'clock in the morning. And then you leave and Sam
Speaker 2: sitting in the lobby and I'm like, it's your turn.
Speaker 2: He's like why. I'm like, ah, you'll see. So then
Speaker 2: now if all of that excitement's over, we're sitting in
Speaker 2: the office of what we assume is the police chief
Speaker 2: and he's just like so, yeah, like we found a
Speaker 2: bunch of pot. Not much, but you know, a bunch
Speaker 2: you guys know it's illegal to bring pot into Canada, right,
Speaker 2: And we both said we're in Canada and you could
Speaker 2: just see the police chief just like you fucking idiots.
Speaker 2: He's just like, I think we're gonna let you go
Speaker 2: with a warning because you don't know where you are
Speaker 2: and you're too stupid to be drug smugglers. And we're
Speaker 2: like absolutely total idiots. Here have you seen the car
Speaker 2: we drove here in uh and so I was banned
Speaker 2: from Canada for two years for this thing.
Speaker 1: Did I keep thinking about stay out of my beach community.
Speaker 2: So as we're leaving, Sam had a bunch of CDs
Speaker 2: in the car. He was like, none of us spoke
Speaker 2: because like the weed has worn off, Our weed was
Speaker 2: now confiscated. We had just been fingered and left for
Speaker 2: dead in Canada. We're driving back to the States, total silence.
Speaker 2: Sam's like rummaging through the CD booklet for those of
Speaker 2: you who are from you know nowadays, that's a book
Speaker 2: of CDs. Look it up. He finds one, puts it
Speaker 2: in the logic yeah case logic, oh man, so yeah,
Speaker 2: puts it in the CD player closes that. We get
Speaker 2: to the border, the border guy just goes, you know,
Speaker 2: do you have a good time in Canada, and I
Speaker 2: swear this is one hundred percent. Try. Sam looks him
Speaker 2: in the eye, just hits play and it's born in
Speaker 2: the USA, and he just flipped off the border guard
Speaker 2: and drove away. And I was like, impressive, Sam, but
Speaker 2: maybe we don't piss off the border security. So anyway,
Speaker 2: now now we're into it. Now we're back in America.
Speaker 2: We're driving back to Iowa. It's late, we're high, we're tired.
Speaker 2: We shwagged over and we're in Illinois and we get
Speaker 2: pulled over by the state police for driving too fast
Speaker 2: or whatever.
Speaker 1: They said.
Speaker 2: They were like, you guys know how fast we were
Speaker 2: going to Sam and I were like probably, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, and they were at this speedometer.
Speaker 2: We just we just basically it's a post it note.
Speaker 2: It doesn't really do anything, so the cops. So we
Speaker 2: were just like tired. We were just like yes, fine whatever.
Speaker 2: They're like, so we have to search the vehicle and
Speaker 2: Sam was like not really, and he's like, well, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna find it, just like I'm not gonna find
Speaker 2: anything in there, am I. And Sam looks him in
Speaker 2: the eye and goes, shit, no, man. The Canadians took
Speaker 2: it all and then the cop ies big goes what
Speaker 2: and he's like, yeah, man, we got arrested in Canada
Speaker 2: for trying to fucking smoke on the border. And a
Speaker 2: cop was like, hang on one second, goes back to
Speaker 2: the squad car. Another cop comes over and it's just like, hey,
Speaker 2: you guys got a minute and it's like two am
Speaker 2: on the highway and we're like, yeah, we're cool. And
Speaker 2: he's like, so we just stole these cigars from the
Speaker 2: mayor's office and this is Illinois, and he's like, you guys,
Speaker 2: want to you smoke a cigar? And we're like yeah.
Speaker 2: So now these two state troopers are sitting on the trap.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking, smoking cigars literally, just like hey, man,
Speaker 2: tell us the story about the drugs and the Canadians.
Speaker 2: And it was then that I realized that that is
Speaker 2: my best story. And out of all the things in
Speaker 2: my life I've been through, this story got us free
Speaker 2: cigars on the highway from state troopers at two o'clock
Speaker 2: in the morning, and so yeah, that's the end of
Speaker 2: the movie. Is us sitting on the roof of this o,
Speaker 2: on the hood of this state trooper car with these
Speaker 2: two cops talking about Canada and that that was the
Speaker 2: last time I ever drove from Boston to Des Moines.
Speaker 1: It could also be the start at the Oh.
Speaker 2: I love that time travel though it's gonna have to
Speaker 2: have try. We're gonna meet ourselves from the future in it.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's that's my best story because it's proven,
Speaker 2: because it's good enough to not just get out of
Speaker 2: a speeding ticket, but to get free cigars from state
Speaker 2: troopers in Illinois.
Speaker 1: Only this this movie would be better than Bullet Trains,
Speaker 1: I'll say that, But I don't know if it would
Speaker 1: be as good as Bill and Ted.
Speaker 2: No, it's too dark. Better than Bullet right now. Bill
Speaker 2: and Ted's is adorable, it's candy. This has got some
Speaker 2: real world implications about privileged youth crossing borders with no consents.
Speaker 2: But I would see Brad Pitt in it. He'd be
Speaker 2: the Canadian chief of police though Mountain, Yeah, that's his cameo.
Speaker 2: But if if I were to pick somebody to play
Speaker 2: me in the movie'd be what's his name? Eddie Munson
Speaker 2: from a Stranger Thing.
Speaker 1: From Stranger Things, good choice, And then for.
Speaker 2: Sam Kyle McLoughlin. But he has to play a college student.
Speaker 2: He has to play twenty two.
Speaker 1: I would if I was in it, I would pick
Speaker 1: Gaiton Moundurazo from Strangers.
Speaker 2: Also great oh Man, him and Finn Wolf heard all
Speaker 2: in on that.
Speaker 1: What a good buddy buddy it is.
Speaker 2: We were friends after that, we didn't that. Oh that is.
Speaker 2: One of the things that I thought was wild about
Speaker 2: being arrested in Canada is that the Canadian police are
Speaker 2: very polite to you, as opposed to like Boston, Chicago
Speaker 2: and any of these cities I lived in, where they're
Speaker 2: just like, uh, ready to just beat you down because
Speaker 2: they're tired and they can. In Canada, they were just like, oh,
Speaker 2: as long as you guys are still I remember as
Speaker 2: we were leaving, the chief of police was just like,
Speaker 2: as long as you guys are still friends, I'd say
Speaker 2: it's a win win, and Sam and I are like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, Canada, give it a break, jeez, give
Speaker 2: me a break.
Speaker 1: If you could bend. Sorry about yeah, sorry, I didn't
Speaker 1: mean to. I'm gonna gently place my two index fingers
Speaker 1: inside your I.
Speaker 2: Didn't mean to probe your prostate there, but you know
Speaker 2: it's my job. Sorry about that, Just a f y.
Speaker 2: My dad's a proctologist. You're you're doing pretty good. All
Speaker 2: good in there, didn't find anything, thanks, guys, guys want
Speaker 2: some cheese curds on your way out that's Wisconsin. But
Speaker 2: still would get that, wouldn't say no to it. Pot
Speaker 2: the guys want some potin and Pepper's on my way
Speaker 2: out of getting arrested in Canada.
Speaker 1: The guy who does the cavity starts with him offering afterwards, Oh.
Speaker 2: It's a good joke, right, Yeah, it's so good, savvy,
Speaker 2: Bud savvy, which is why Letter Kenny is still my
Speaker 2: favorite show, because I'm like, oh no, that's just things right,
Speaker 2: and that's how it is. Man movie Jared Kiso is
Speaker 2: gonna be in it. It's give me next level?
Speaker 1: All right? Well hopefully no. If there is a movie
Speaker 1: producer listening.
Speaker 2: Hit me up. You know I'm all in on selling
Speaker 2: that story. You will not hurt my feet. I will
Speaker 2: take my cut in.
Speaker 1: I would like a story credit story.
Speaker 2: By Well, you're gonna we're gonna co write this, okay,
Speaker 2: because yeah, I don't. I don't want to go with
Speaker 2: that one alone. I'll get I'll get like, I'll get
Speaker 2: too into it. I'll shymel on it. I'll be two
Speaker 2: into my own thing. I won't listen to anybody, and
Speaker 2: it'll just it'll go off the rails.
Speaker 1: No, I need some to the whole time.
Speaker 2: I need an editor in the room going, hey man,
Speaker 2: maybe stop smoking pot while you're writing. Hey man, don't
Speaker 2: tell me what to do. Trevor, you kick your ass.
Speaker 1: Well, Josh, that's all the time we got, but thank
Speaker 1: you so much, Thank you for this. Was such a
Speaker 1: delightful hours hanging out with Noah.
Speaker 2: It's something always a pleasure, man, I yeah, always here
Speaker 2: to talk for too long.
Speaker 1: Well that about does it for this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Hashtag story Time. Thanks again to Josh for hopping on
Speaker 1: the pod. Make sure to head down to the description
Speaker 1: for those sweet sweet links. Take a second to hit
Speaker 1: subscribe if you haven't yet, so you'll miss next week's episode.
Speaker 1: We have a tasty one coming at you from Corbett Pasco.
Speaker 2: And this tiny woman just leans into the button and
Speaker 2: goes and I'm please know I am not exaggerating this voice,
Speaker 2: because this is what the entire train heard.
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Speaker 1: every single one of them, no lie. Hashtag story Time
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