1 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the 2 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you 3 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe 4 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with 5 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how 6 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business. 7 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember 8 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,639 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering 9 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from 10 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave 11 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat. 12 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 2: Hi, Cheeky's, how are you beautiful? My name is Jasmine 13 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 2: and I want to ask you a question regarding some 14 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 2: free time for yourself. The reason why I ask you 15 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 2: this question and it's because I do know that you 16 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 2: are a second mother to your siblings and at a 17 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 2: very young age, you were hell responsible for them. I'm 18 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 2: twenty nine and I need a breather that I just 19 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 2: I love my children, I love spending time with them. 20 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: I would be nothing without them, but sometimes I just 21 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 2: want some me time. Is there any advice you could 22 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:25,119 Speaker 2: give on how to find some time for yourself. Are 23 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 2: you even able to get some time for yourself? That's 24 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 2: my question. 25 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, thank you for your question. Look, it 26 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: definitely is possible, and it should be a priority in 27 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: your life. A lot of women feel like once they 28 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: become a mother, their life has changed forever, which yes, 29 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: it has changed, and they feel like selfish and guilty 30 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: to find time for themselves. And that's absolutely incorrect. I mean, obviously, 31 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: it's all about balance. Even when I was raising my siblings, 32 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: Johnny was eleven Jenniica was fifteen, they did need to 33 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: take them to school and everything. I did my best 34 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: to spend as much time as I could with them, 35 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: but I would make it a point to get my 36 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: neils done, to go out with my friends. And it's 37 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: all about finding that balance so that I don't eventually 38 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: resent them. I didn't want to ever resent them or 39 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,920 Speaker 1: feel like I was missing out on something because I 40 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: was taking care of them. I loved taking care of them. 41 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,839 Speaker 1: I love my siblings. I love to see them growing 42 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: up now and like, oh, you know, like I had 43 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: something to do with that. But I also took the 44 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: time to take care of my heart. So it's definitely possible, 45 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: and I think maybe just waking up a little bit earlier, 46 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: if possible, and spending some time by yourself, journaling, praying, 47 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: something that's just going to keep you aligned, and also 48 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: asking someone I don't know if you're single, if you're 49 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,920 Speaker 1: a single mother, but having someone help you with the 50 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: kids for a couple of hours where you can just 51 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: go on a walk, go get your nails and get 52 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: your hair done, Like, don't forget about yourself. Because as 53 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: beautiful and as much of a blessing that children are, 54 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: they're going to grow up one day and Manasuq, like, 55 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 1: you have to find that balance. It's absolutely imperative. So Jasmine, 56 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 1: I hope that that you can just take that step. 57 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: It's just deciding and doing it, and it's okay. They're 58 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: not gonna hate you. They're still gonna love you. Your 59 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: kids are gonna love you. Don't feel guilty and think that, 60 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,079 Speaker 1: oh la, no, this is also your life and your 61 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: life has not stopped because you had children. Now let's 62 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: hear from Terrese. 63 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 3: My name is dere Sah. But for anything, I want 64 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,959 Speaker 3: to say, I appreciate you for being vulnerable and opening 65 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 3: up this space for your fan base and boss Bace 66 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 3: really means a lot to us who follow you and 67 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 3: your family. My question of advice for you is what 68 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 3: can I do to overcome this fear and feeling of 69 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 3: guilt to claim justice for myself. I'm twenty six and 70 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 3: within the last five years, I've been going through the 71 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 3: heights and those of reliving my past of childhood sexual 72 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 3: abuse from a couple family members and other people. I 73 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 3: only tell my family of two though, who were close 74 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 3: to me. It wasn't just physical and it's just the past. 75 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 3: This is something that took away in my childhood, innocence, 76 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 3: my peace of mind. Sometimes you didn't feel like my soul. 77 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 3: I suffer from PTSD daily. I no longer ask God why, 78 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 3: but instead how do I transform this pain into power? 79 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 3: Opening up about this has changed my life for the better. 80 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 3: Talking about sensitive and unspeakable subjects, like some may say 81 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 3: the taboo, is what I found is healing not only 82 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 3: for me, but for so many men and women out 83 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 3: there who have and are currently living my experience. But 84 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 3: that being said, I'm going through the dilemma of pressing 85 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 3: charges on one of my abusers. I'm still within the 86 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 3: statue of limitations in my state. I'm just not sure 87 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 3: if I'm going to go. 88 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 4: Through with it, but I'm running out of time. I 89 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 4: know by doing this, I will mix the pot with 90 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 4: a lot of my family members who already don't have 91 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 4: my back anyways, but I know this will be an 92 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 4: eye opener for many of them who have gone through 93 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 4: similar experiences and it was just shoved under the rug 94 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 4: by the family. Thank you for listening and sharing if 95 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 4: it makes it on the podcast. I'm a huge fan. 96 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 3: I listen to every episode that will meet you kick 97 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 3: much love from a Bossbeache. 98 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:53,039 Speaker 1: OHI Gileena, Teresa, thank you. See this is how you 99 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: guys know I don't listen to these questions prior is 100 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: because I said Teresa and her name is Teres actually 101 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,840 Speaker 1: pronounces it, so just so you guys know. Okay, anyways, ah, 102 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: that is some I feel you. First of all, you're 103 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,919 Speaker 1: so insightful, You're so intelligent. Like I was listening to you, 104 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, Look, I'm proud of you for wanting 105 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 1: and hopefully going through with pressing charges because I know 106 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: that that's not easy. I had to do that. I 107 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,039 Speaker 1: was very afraid and it still hurts me sometimes because 108 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: my abuser was my father and it was just such 109 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: a weird moment and I did lose a lot of family. 110 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: But look, if those people have already turned their back 111 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 1: on you, ohsa bye, you know what I mean, Like, 112 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 1: you don't need those people in your life. If they 113 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 1: don't believe you, if they're not going to support you, 114 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: then you don't need those people in your life. And 115 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: if they get upset because you press charges a yaya 116 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: yos like this is something you're doing for yourself, not 117 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: only for yourself, and this is where it changed for me. 118 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: I'm also doing it for future generations. I have to 119 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: defend myself. I have to show and that's how you 120 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: have to see it, like, wait, this happened to me, 121 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: and I have the opportunity of getting justice for not 122 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: only myself, but for the little girls that are watching 123 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 1: me that God forbid have gone or are gonna go 124 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 1: or are going through the same thing. And they see 125 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: you and say, wow, she did it. Like we have 126 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: that responsibility as women to use our voice to say, hey, 127 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: this happened, because that's the only way we're gonna be 128 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: able to stop this, hopefully, is by talking about it, 129 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: by doing things like this and pressing charges, so I 130 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: applaud you for that. I applaud you for that first 131 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: of all. Now here's the thing. I am a huge 132 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 1: advocate for therapy. That's what has helped me. So I 133 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: would highly recommend for you to get therapy, a life coach, 134 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 1: to read books, read my book. I don't know if 135 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: you've read my book Forgiveness, forgiving, really forgiving and not 136 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 1: holding resentment towards these people. Yes, they hurt you. Forgiving 137 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're excusing what they did. It's letting it 138 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,039 Speaker 1: go and leaving it in God's hands. That's what it means. 139 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,479 Speaker 1: It's a gift for yourself. It gives you the wings 140 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: to fly into sore. And I don't know if maybe 141 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: you're holding resentment, and I don't blame you if you do, 142 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: but really just trying to just forgive, not forget, just 143 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: forgive and say you know what, Only God knows why 144 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: this happened to me, And I'm going to use this 145 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: as strength to help other people. And once you remove 146 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: it from yourself and you focus it on other people, 147 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: you feel better about the situation. I hope that makes sense. 148 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: But there is that thank you, and I'm sending you 149 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: a big big kiss in La Forente. Okay, let's hear 150 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: from Sanya Chiky's I love you. 151 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 5: I just wanted to get some advice from you. For 152 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 5: a while, I have been really determined to start my 153 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 5: own podcast, so I just wanted to know if you 154 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 5: had any advice, any ideas, anything, even the smallest thing 155 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 5: would really help. I'm kind, I'm a shy person, so 156 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 5: just me even trying to start this up is a 157 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 5: really big step for me, and it's me coming out 158 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 5: of my show. I just feel like I have a 159 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 5: lot to say when it comes to dealing with mental 160 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,680 Speaker 5: illness and women like me who deal with it every 161 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 5: day in relationships and friendships and family issues and anything. 162 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 5: You know, I've been through it all. Your podcast, too, 163 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 5: is one of the many ones that inspire me every day. 164 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 5: And then I listen to you and I'm just like, Wow, 165 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 5: she always knows what to say. It's just a too 166 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 5: shout out to overcome for podcast, Jennico Lopez, I just 167 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 5: really love that you guys are doing your thing, and 168 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 5: it's really inspiring to me, and I definitely want to 169 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 5: try it. I know I might not get a lot 170 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 5: of listeners like you guys better if I can just 171 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 5: make somebody's day or put a smile on somebody's face 172 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 5: with my words and my advice, it will all have 173 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 5: them worth it. And I just want to say thank 174 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 5: you for being the queen of us boss Speed. You know, 175 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 5: we got to stick together, so yeah, anything would be 176 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 5: really helpful. And just keep it up because you really 177 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 5: really make a difference in people's lives, even if you 178 00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 5: don't know it. 179 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: Thank you, girl. You just made me feel so happy. 180 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: You're so cute. Thank you. Well. I think it's amazing 181 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 1: that you want to start your podcast, and I think 182 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 1: you should just do it. You know you guys, I 183 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: always say this. I'm like, I don't like to live 184 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: with the what if, so I think, just absolutely do it. 185 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: There are a lot of videos on YouTube as to 186 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 1: what equipment you need and how to start it, so 187 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: that's first, and don't worry about if you're going to 188 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: have one hundred thousand listeners or ten. I think that 189 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: the fact that you want to do this is it 190 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: will help you. First of all, It'll help you know 191 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,199 Speaker 1: that you're doing something good for other people and also 192 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 1: for yourself. It's a form of therapy as well, like 193 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: speaking and just letting things out and helping other people 194 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 1: and knowing that you're doing something good in the world. 195 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: And if you feel that that's part of your mission, 196 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: I think you should definitely do it and it'll help 197 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: you heal as well. At the same time, I love 198 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: my podcast you guys, and these types of messages like 199 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: you saying that it helps you and inspires you. It 200 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: just keeps me like so motivated, So I say do it. 201 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: And the amount of listeners do not matter. It's the 202 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: fact that you are bringing out a message to the world, 203 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: and little by little the word of mouth is very strong. 204 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: So I will listen to it. Okay, if you started up, 205 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: and I think you should. Okay, thank you guys so 206 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: much for leaving your voicemails. I really hope I helped 207 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,559 Speaker 1: put things into perspective for all of you. Yes and 208 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: Speak Pipe dot Com, Slash, Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. Okay, 209 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 1: looking forward to hearing from you, besito. This is a 210 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and the Micauldura podcast Network. Follow us 211 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's 212 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: That's c h I q U I S for more 213 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeart Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or 214 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us 215 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: out on YouTube.