Speaker 1: Second update. We have a guy named Jack's who reached
Speaker 1: out to us for a second date update today, and
Speaker 1: Jack's admits in his email he ended up getting a
Speaker 1: little too intoxicated on his first date. No, he says,
Speaker 1: he remembers the first half of the evening, but that's
Speaker 1: about it. Then, apparently he woke up the next morning
Speaker 1: in a quote compromising situation. Oh no, Jack, you and
Speaker 1: I have a lot in common already. I don't even
Speaker 1: know much about you, so I like you all right?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm dying to know what happened. Before
Speaker 1: we get to your compromising situation, tell us about the
Speaker 1: girl you went out with. What's her name? Her name
Speaker 1: is Iris? Okay, all right? She just in absolute smoke show. Seriously, guys,
Speaker 1: what's a smoke show? I'm sorry, Oh super hot. I
Speaker 1: thought she was a disappearing act and that's why she
Speaker 1: was like poof only smoke left. All right, I'm with you, guys.
Speaker 1: Now that we've helped her understand, tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit more about Iris the smoke show. So you know,
Speaker 1: on Instagram, like if you like someone's photo, it'll be
Speaker 1: like you might also like whatever, Right, So I like
Speaker 1: this model's photo and the algorithm was like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: gonna like I have done that ten more Instagram models.
Speaker 1: Underneath it's like you may also like, so you guys
Speaker 1: are just trolling different Instagram models until someone actually responds
Speaker 1: to you, and Iris happened to be the one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and oh my god, I was so excited when she replied.
Speaker 1: And what line did you use to get her to reply?
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, you're super cute by the way,
Speaker 1: smiley face not the emoji? Are you write out the
Speaker 1: words smiley face? No? I did the colon and then
Speaker 1: the bright tarantetical It's way, it's it's nostalgic. It's old
Speaker 1: school people like nineties emoji, right and that worked? Wow?
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I guess I'm trying too hard. I guess so.
Speaker 1: And so what happened after that? Um, we're changing some
Speaker 1: messages and we set up a date at you know,
Speaker 1: a school local bar. What did you guys do at
Speaker 1: the bar? I'll get to that though, I'll get that.
Speaker 1: Apparently something crazy happened because sorry, go on, Okay, So,
Speaker 1: like when she came in the door, dude, she's like
Speaker 1: a solid seven point five, just absolute smoke show, just
Speaker 1: like wait a seven point five too, is a smoke show.
Speaker 1: I thought for sure she's going to be a ten.
Speaker 1: Like you can barely talk and you're only rating her
Speaker 1: a seven point five. Yea tens are rare. It's at
Speaker 1: bell curve like, there's not that many. I never want
Speaker 1: you to be my substitute teacher. She's not a smoke show. Then,
Speaker 1: she's like a light sizzle at best. Hear me out
Speaker 1: though she looked like if Ashley Judd had a less
Speaker 1: attractive younger sister. He's Ashley Judd. Why do I have to?
Speaker 1: I mean, I just like, we're really concentrating on her looks, Like,
Speaker 1: what were you feeling when you saw her? Were you
Speaker 1: nervous or was it uglier? Ashley Judd notts up in
Speaker 1: the horty I was feeling horny. Can't blame the guy there.
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, okay, so what wow? Now that's like,
Speaker 1: now that she's walked into the room and turned you on,
Speaker 1: what happens next? So you know, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: add some power with her. So for my activity, I
Speaker 1: had some pen and paper and I said, we're going
Speaker 1: to drink and write some dirty limericks with each other.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Well, I guess you're not making it a
Speaker 1: secret what you want to do later? Did she know
Speaker 1: what a limerick was? Yeah? I had to explain it
Speaker 1: to her. Could you tell us one of them? Thank you.
Speaker 1: I don't know what a limerick is. It's like a poem, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a poem that rhymes like a hi qu is
Speaker 1: a very specific meter to it. Okay, they were. They
Speaker 1: were all the rage in the fifteenth century Britain. But
Speaker 1: good to bring it back for a hot first day.
Speaker 1: So what did you say? So like your producer to
Speaker 1: help me to have already, but like you deaf, have
Speaker 1: to bleep some of this out if I read this?
Speaker 1: All right? Okay, god, what is it? Okay? There once
Speaker 1: was a man named Dave okay who found a dead
Speaker 1: in a cave. Oh da, bro, she was ugliest missing one.
Speaker 1: Oh but think of the money he saved. Oh my god, Wow,
Speaker 1: that was terrible, Jack, I mean not, that was beautiful. Wait.
Speaker 1: How soon into meeting her did you deliver this limerick?
Speaker 1: That's what she came up with. I didn't come up
Speaker 1: with that. All right, Well, now I'm actually impressed. You know,
Speaker 1: I went from too much too oh all right, you
Speaker 1: can go I mean go Limerick to Limerick. I see,
Speaker 1: so the dirty Limerick idea worked. Yeah, clearly, Like it's
Speaker 1: going well. So clearly you guys are talking about dead
Speaker 1: homes to each other. I mean, what happened to the
Speaker 1: other boom? That's what I'm concerned about, unclear, uncertious. So
Speaker 1: he started making out right away, or you know, we
Speaker 1: kind of ease into it. But you had some good
Speaker 1: laughs and she just seemed she was down for whatever.
Speaker 1: So like we had a few drinks and a few
Speaker 1: more than her. But we were back to my place
Speaker 1: and this is kind of where things get hazy. But
Speaker 1: I woke up next morning in the bathtub with no
Speaker 1: water in it, and most of my clothes were gone. Okay,
Speaker 1: I had my socks on and I was wrapped in
Speaker 1: a bed sheet. That sounds to me like you were
Speaker 1: about to throw up and she just puts you in
Speaker 1: the bathroom, is what it sounds like to mends to
Speaker 1: me like iris is a good time and there's a
Speaker 1: bunch of toast on top of me, like three to
Speaker 1: four pieces of toady. I don't know what happens. I mean,
Speaker 1: why do you think she would call you back? Honestly? Well,
Speaker 1: I just I want to hang out with her. Of course,
Speaker 1: I'm not dumb. I know, like that's maybe not going
Speaker 1: to happen, but I just I need to know what
Speaker 1: happened to me that night. So this is a mystery
Speaker 1: you need solved, and you're hoping for another date with
Speaker 1: Smoke show Iris. Yeah, and like I tried calling, but
Speaker 1: she like hung up on me twice and then any
Speaker 1: textics end she doesn't respond to, or like she calls
Speaker 1: me a creep and that she says she doesn't want
Speaker 1: to see me again. She's mad, bro, I don't know women.
Speaker 1: She's a creep and the one that came up with
Speaker 1: a dead horror right, Like I don't even remember like
Speaker 1: not getting along with her. So like that's troubling too.
Speaker 1: I know we're gonna have to get to the bottom
Speaker 1: of this, this Limerick mystery. There once was a guy
Speaker 1: named Jack who woke up half naked in a bath. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then and then I guess we'll finish the rest
Speaker 1: of it when we call Irish. Well play a song,
Speaker 1: come back and get your second date update for you. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, hold on, all right, we're back
Speaker 1: for part two, the second Date Update and I've been
Speaker 1: working on this during the break, right, Let's see if
Speaker 1: you guys like it. All right, There once was a
Speaker 1: man named Jack's who woke up half naked in a
Speaker 1: bath His lady had left some toast on his breast
Speaker 1: and a vegetable lodged in his glass glass. That's what
Speaker 1: you're choosing. I think that is sure. I think that's
Speaker 1: the perfect story told. But if you're just tuning in
Speaker 1: for the second day update, one of our listeners, Jack's,
Speaker 1: met a super hot girl named Iris on Instagram and
Speaker 1: he took her to a bar where they wrote dirty
Speaker 1: limericks to each other, and apparently it worked in setting
Speaker 1: the mood because they ended up back at his place,
Speaker 1: and that's where his memory of the night starts to fade,
Speaker 1: because he woke up the next morning half clothed in
Speaker 1: a bathtub with some toast sprinkled over his body and
Speaker 1: does not know what happened. I know that you've tried
Speaker 1: to piece together the night as best you can. Can
Speaker 1: you think of anything you did that could be misconstrued.
Speaker 1: You know it's so hazy, but I really want to
Speaker 1: find out. It's super important to me. Okay, all right, Well,
Speaker 1: let's give Iris a call and figure out what happened
Speaker 1: after the period that you don't remember at your place?
Speaker 1: How did you end up in that bathtub half naked.
Speaker 1: We're gonna try and figure this out. I'm gonna dollar
Speaker 1: the number right now here we go. Hello, Hi, can
Speaker 1: I speak to Iris? Please? Yeah? Did she? Hi? Iris?
Speaker 1: My name's Young Jeffrey from the radio show Brook and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay, Are you familiar with us?
Speaker 1: Kind of? That's good works? Hi, Iris? Hi, we're doing
Speaker 1: something called the second Date Update. Are you familiar with
Speaker 1: that segment that we do? Um? Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 1: certainty in that, boyson, Just to refresh your memory. That's
Speaker 1: where if you go on a date with someone and
Speaker 1: afterwards they're not calling you back, you can email the
Speaker 1: show and we'll call the person to try and figure
Speaker 1: out the reason why. Oh okay, all right, So you
Speaker 1: recently went out with a guy who is really really
Speaker 1: interested to hear from you. We don't know, no, Braden's here, Okay.
Speaker 1: We do have a guy that emailed us though, trying
Speaker 1: to get a hold of you, whose name is Jack's.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it's as excited about Jack's as you are,
Speaker 1: as Brady no, all right, okay, Well, Jack's told us
Speaker 1: a little bit about your evening together as great. It
Speaker 1: was very interesting the story that he told us. M hm,
Speaker 1: I'm sure. Yeah. It sounds like you're a pretty good
Speaker 1: limerick writer. He actually told you about that. Oh, he
Speaker 1: read it to us. You read it to us and
Speaker 1: we had to bleep a lot of stuff. I can't
Speaker 1: believe that came out of your mind. You told me, like,
Speaker 1: get dirty. What's dirtier than one time? I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's bad. I think actually you and I should go
Speaker 1: hand out and like have a beer after this. But
Speaker 1: we were very creative. But after the limerick, he said,
Speaker 1: you guys had a few more drinks and went back
Speaker 1: to his place. And that's where he's frustrated because he
Speaker 1: doesn't remember a lot. Well, I am not surprised because
Speaker 1: he just like a sloppy drunk. Um. I really don't
Speaker 1: know if I should tell you that. Why, Well, he
Speaker 1: really wants to know. He doesn't know how he ended
Speaker 1: up where he ended up, and could you just maybe
Speaker 1: fill in some of the details that are missing for us.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, it's really embarrassing for him.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he'd want to hear this. Well,
Speaker 1: he understands when you email into the show to ask
Speaker 1: for one of these second date updates, you know that
Speaker 1: you might hear something you don't necessarily want to hear.
Speaker 1: Them might be a little bit embarrassing. And the thing
Speaker 1: is he may need to learn from this because he
Speaker 1: has no idea what he did. Yeah, I find that
Speaker 1: hard to believe. What it? Why would you say that?
Speaker 1: This just seems like something he does a lot. Really,
Speaker 1: what does he do? Let me tell you the story
Speaker 1: of what happened that night. Are you going to do
Speaker 1: a limerick? Oh? Geez, off the cuff? I don't know. Okay, no,
Speaker 1: you could just tell us normal. So, yeah, we were
Speaker 1: back at his place and it was fine. There was
Speaker 1: a little bit of making out, and we started dancing
Speaker 1: a little and we had even bordering, and then he
Speaker 1: whispered in my ear. My fantasy way, Well, if he
Speaker 1: first tried to guess mine and then he decided to
Speaker 1: tell me his fantasy, is that because you wouldn't tell him, right? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: what did he say? Well, he whispered in my ear.
Speaker 1: You know my fantasy is to be a little boy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what did you do. I thought he
Speaker 1: was joking at first because we've been doing dirty limericks
Speaker 1: and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, but he started calling me mommy
Speaker 1: and had me make him cinnamon toast and strawberry milk.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. Sounds pretty good. It sounds sounds like
Speaker 1: a delicious meal to enjoy. That is so disturbing. Did
Speaker 1: you actually make the toast? Well? Yeah, I figured maybe
Speaker 1: he'll sober up with some food. Oh yeah, that's good. Okay,
Speaker 1: which part of this was weird to you? All of
Speaker 1: it was weird, but I didn't really know at this
Speaker 1: point whether he was joking still or I need to
Speaker 1: be fair. You were the one who wrote out a
Speaker 1: dead hood in a cave who was missing body parts,
Speaker 1: So I think that's pretty balanced out. It is not.
Speaker 1: He's called her mommy. Well he's drunk, is all I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you got to give him a pass a little bit, no,
Speaker 1: because that's truth serum. Dude. Yeah, I don't know. He
Speaker 1: definitely was not joking when I realized he got into
Speaker 1: the bathtub and wanted me to like swaddle him, so
Speaker 1: I just like wrapped him up the bathroom by himself.
Speaker 1: So that's why he woke up in a sheet. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was really freaked out at that point because he
Speaker 1: just started clapping his hands, going mommy, bathtime, mommy, that's cute.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh my god. That is so much
Speaker 1: on a first day, so much. Now you're being one
Speaker 1: hundred percent serious about all this, Unfortunately, don't explain everything.
Speaker 1: Jeffs are right, the toast, the sheet, the sheet, why
Speaker 1: he was in the bathtub in the first place. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of things have been answered for us.
Speaker 1: I mean, like I said, it's going to be hard
Speaker 1: to forget it, that's for sure. Yeah. Well, I mean
Speaker 1: I want to thank you, but I think it'd be
Speaker 1: more appropriate if Jack's thanked you himself, because he's been
Speaker 1: on the other line listening and wants to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Are you kating me? Don't cuss in front of the kid.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Jack's your mommy wants to talk to you. Okay, there, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not really like all that. Uh like
Speaker 1: that was good to drinking, Like, I'm not really into that.
Speaker 1: That was a test you were kidding? Uh? Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: it was just like drunkingly joking around. Yeah, I think so, Jack,
Speaker 1: Are you remembering now what I just told you. Uh,
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit. I don't remember that toast stuff
Speaker 1: like not. I don't know. I probably shouldn't have even
Speaker 1: called you guys. I'm really sorry. No, No, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you did. Jack. This is a story that we all
Speaker 1: needed to hear today. Here's Jacks. You don't need to
Speaker 1: be ashamed of whatever your fantasy is. Okay, it was
Speaker 1: just like that's maybe like ten years into a marriage
Speaker 1: type of situation where you at least second dated. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: it's not like my fantasy. It's just like something that
Speaker 1: I came out after like a lot of drinking. Yes,
Speaker 1: you have to believe me. Do you hear that? Iris,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Jack. Do you remember when you were
Speaker 1: in the bathtub forcing me to feed you the toes? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: I don't remember that. I'm not really should have happened. Actually,
Speaker 1: you asked me too, and you had opened your mouth
Speaker 1: saying the airplane's coming in the hangar. I didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't really say that, did I? Yes, yes you did,
Speaker 1: and Iris, you complied. Yeah, I mean I thought it
Speaker 1: was a joke for a little bit. But when he
Speaker 1: started clapping his hands and saying Mommy, Mommy, I realized
Speaker 1: it was not a joke anymore. I mean, but I
Speaker 1: think that you're just as much at fault as Jack's
Speaker 1: because you're encouraging this. I mean, you're the one that's
Speaker 1: filling out his fantasies, making the airplane noises, putting breadsticks
Speaker 1: into his mouth. Oh, I think it was I don't
Speaker 1: know you a little bit of a memory came back
Speaker 1: there for a second. Okay. But here's the positive thing
Speaker 1: about this, Iris. You did like him, and this was
Speaker 1: a lot to pull out on a first date. But
Speaker 1: now all the cards are on the table. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's there's no more surprises if you guys go out
Speaker 1: on another date exactly. But this point, Iris, I think
Speaker 1: it's appropriate if I ask, would mommy like to see
Speaker 1: baby one more? Fine? We'll pay for Can you stop it?
Speaker 1: For you old babies getting glumpy? Sounds like Jeffrey's also
Speaker 1: lived out your fantasy before Jack. So you know you're
Speaker 1: a good company. No, you're just gave me some really
Speaker 1: good ideas. Jack's from future of my dating career. I'm
Speaker 1: hanging up right now. No, don't go leave, we're just playing. Yeah, Iris,
Speaker 1: will you go out with him? Again. You know I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to pass on another date, but I'm just
Speaker 1: sure there's another mommy out there for him. Jack's I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I actually feel bad for you. You got a little
Speaker 1: embarrassed you didn't get a date. Okay, No, you know
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do for you, Jack. We're gonna open
Speaker 1: up the text line right now, text into seven eight
Speaker 1: five nine two. Are there any mommies out there that
Speaker 1: want to airplane feed? Jack's inside the bathtub again, you guys,
Speaker 1: it's not my fantasy. So like you can have phone
Speaker 1: with this, but like I'm letting you know, I don't
Speaker 1: even remember most of it, So brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: To be your best every day, you need proven quality
Speaker 1: sleep every night. Science proves your best sleep is vital
Speaker 1: to your mental, emotional, and physical health. And that's where
Speaker 1: the sleep number BED comes in. And let me tell you,
Speaker 1: ever since I've had it, my sleep by Q score
Speaker 1: is just going higher and higher. And did you know
Speaker 1: eight out of ten couples say that one of them
Speaker 1: sleeps too hot or too cold. Science tells us regulating
Speaker 1: your sleep temperature leads to higher quality sleep for many couples.
Speaker 1: Temperature struggles are a real challenge, so here are some
Speaker 1: tips to help you both sleep just right. Look for
Speaker 1: beds designed with temperature benefits, such as the new Sleep
Speaker 1: Number Climate three sixty smartbed that actively warms and cools
Speaker 1: each side so you both sleep blissfully comfortable. And now
Speaker 1: save forty percent on the Sleep Number three sixty Special
Speaker 1: Edition smartbed plus special financing for a limited time only
Speaker 1: at sleep number stores or sleep number dot com slash
Speaker 1: podcast one. Sleep Number the official sleep and wellness partner
Speaker 1: of the National Football League. Subject to credit approval, minimum
Speaker 1: monthly payments required. See sleepnumber dot com for details.