WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Mommy Bath Time 

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<v Speaker 1>Second update. We have a guy named Jack's who reached

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<v Speaker 1>out to us for a second date update today, and

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<v Speaker 1>Jack's admits in his email he ended up getting a

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<v Speaker 1>little too intoxicated on his first date. No, he says,

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<v Speaker 1>he remembers the first half of the evening, but that's

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<v Speaker 1>about it. Then, apparently he woke up the next morning

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<v Speaker 1>in a quote compromising situation. Oh no, Jack, you and

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<v Speaker 1>I have a lot in common already. I don't even

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<v Speaker 1>know much about you, so I like you all right?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'm dying to know what happened. Before

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<v Speaker 1>we get to your compromising situation, tell us about the

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<v Speaker 1>girl you went out with. What's her name? Her name

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<v Speaker 1>is Iris? Okay, all right? She just in absolute smoke show. Seriously, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>what's a smoke show? I'm sorry, Oh super hot. I

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<v Speaker 1>thought she was a disappearing act and that's why she

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<v Speaker 1>was like poof only smoke left. All right, I'm with you, guys.

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<v Speaker 1>Now that we've helped her understand, tell us a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit more about Iris the smoke show. So you know,

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<v Speaker 1>on Instagram, like if you like someone's photo, it'll be

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<v Speaker 1>like you might also like whatever, Right, So I like

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<v Speaker 1>this model's photo and the algorithm was like, oh, you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna like I have done that ten more Instagram models.

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<v Speaker 1>Underneath it's like you may also like, so you guys

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<v Speaker 1>are just trolling different Instagram models until someone actually responds

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<v Speaker 1>to you, and Iris happened to be the one. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and oh my god, I was so excited when she replied.

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<v Speaker 1>And what line did you use to get her to reply?

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, hey, you're super cute by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>smiley face not the emoji? Are you write out the

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<v Speaker 1>words smiley face? No? I did the colon and then

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<v Speaker 1>the bright tarantetical It's way, it's it's nostalgic. It's old

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<v Speaker 1>school people like nineties emoji, right and that worked? Wow?

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<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, I guess I'm trying too hard. I guess so.

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<v Speaker 1>And so what happened after that? Um, we're changing some

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<v Speaker 1>messages and we set up a date at you know,

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<v Speaker 1>a school local bar. What did you guys do at

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<v Speaker 1>the bar? I'll get to that though, I'll get that.

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<v Speaker 1>Apparently something crazy happened because sorry, go on, Okay, So,

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<v Speaker 1>like when she came in the door, dude, she's like

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<v Speaker 1>a solid seven point five, just absolute smoke show, just

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<v Speaker 1>like wait a seven point five too, is a smoke show.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought for sure she's going to be a ten.

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<v Speaker 1>Like you can barely talk and you're only rating her

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<v Speaker 1>a seven point five. Yea tens are rare. It's at

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<v Speaker 1>bell curve like, there's not that many. I never want

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<v Speaker 1>you to be my substitute teacher. She's not a smoke show. Then,

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<v Speaker 1>she's like a light sizzle at best. Hear me out

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<v Speaker 1>though she looked like if Ashley Judd had a less

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<v Speaker 1>attractive younger sister. He's Ashley Judd. Why do I have to?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I just like, we're really concentrating on her looks, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>what were you feeling when you saw her? Were you

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<v Speaker 1>nervous or was it uglier? Ashley Judd notts up in

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<v Speaker 1>the horty I was feeling horny. Can't blame the guy there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah all right, okay, so what wow? Now that's like,

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<v Speaker 1>now that she's walked into the room and turned you on,

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<v Speaker 1>what happens next? So you know, I just wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>add some power with her. So for my activity, I

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<v Speaker 1>had some pen and paper and I said, we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to drink and write some dirty limericks with each other.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, Well, I guess you're not making it a

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<v Speaker 1>secret what you want to do later? Did she know

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<v Speaker 1>what a limerick was? Yeah? I had to explain it

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<v Speaker 1>to her. Could you tell us one of them? Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what a limerick is. It's like a poem, right, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a poem that rhymes like a hi qu is

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<v Speaker 1>a very specific meter to it. Okay, they were. They

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<v Speaker 1>were all the rage in the fifteenth century Britain. But

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<v Speaker 1>good to bring it back for a hot first day.

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<v Speaker 1>So what did you say? So like your producer to

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<v Speaker 1>help me to have already, but like you deaf, have

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<v Speaker 1>to bleep some of this out if I read this?

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<v Speaker 1>All right? Okay, god, what is it? Okay? There once

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<v Speaker 1>was a man named Dave okay who found a dead

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<v Speaker 1>in a cave. Oh da, bro, she was ugliest missing one.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh but think of the money he saved. Oh my god, Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that was terrible, Jack, I mean not, that was beautiful. Wait.

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<v Speaker 1>How soon into meeting her did you deliver this limerick?

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<v Speaker 1>That's what she came up with. I didn't come up

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<v Speaker 1>with that. All right, Well, now I'm actually impressed. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I went from too much too oh all right, you

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<v Speaker 1>can go I mean go Limerick to Limerick. I see,

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<v Speaker 1>so the dirty Limerick idea worked. Yeah, clearly, Like it's

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<v Speaker 1>going well. So clearly you guys are talking about dead

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<v Speaker 1>homes to each other. I mean, what happened to the

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<v Speaker 1>other boom? That's what I'm concerned about, unclear, uncertious. So

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<v Speaker 1>he started making out right away, or you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>kind of ease into it. But you had some good

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<v Speaker 1>laughs and she just seemed she was down for whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>So like we had a few drinks and a few

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<v Speaker 1>more than her. But we were back to my place

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<v Speaker 1>and this is kind of where things get hazy. But

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<v Speaker 1>I woke up next morning in the bathtub with no

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<v Speaker 1>water in it, and most of my clothes were gone. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I had my socks on and I was wrapped in

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<v Speaker 1>a bed sheet. That sounds to me like you were

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<v Speaker 1>about to throw up and she just puts you in

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<v Speaker 1>the bathroom, is what it sounds like to mends to

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<v Speaker 1>me like iris is a good time and there's a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of toast on top of me, like three to

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<v Speaker 1>four pieces of toady. I don't know what happens. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>why do you think she would call you back? Honestly? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I just I want to hang out with her. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not dumb. I know, like that's maybe not going

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<v Speaker 1>to happen, but I just I need to know what

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<v Speaker 1>happened to me that night. So this is a mystery

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<v Speaker 1>you need solved, and you're hoping for another date with

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<v Speaker 1>Smoke show Iris. Yeah, and like I tried calling, but

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<v Speaker 1>she like hung up on me twice and then any

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<v Speaker 1>textics end she doesn't respond to, or like she calls

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<v Speaker 1>me a creep and that she says she doesn't want

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<v Speaker 1>to see me again. She's mad, bro, I don't know women.

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<v Speaker 1>She's a creep and the one that came up with

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<v Speaker 1>a dead horror right, Like I don't even remember like

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<v Speaker 1>not getting along with her. So like that's troubling too.

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<v Speaker 1>I know we're gonna have to get to the bottom

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<v Speaker 1>of this, this Limerick mystery. There once was a guy

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<v Speaker 1>named Jack who woke up half naked in a bath. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and then and then I guess we'll finish the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of it when we call Irish. Well play a song,

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<v Speaker 1>come back and get your second date update for you. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, all right, hold on, all right, we're back

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<v Speaker 1>for part two, the second Date Update and I've been

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<v Speaker 1>working on this during the break, right, Let's see if

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<v Speaker 1>you guys like it. All right, There once was a

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<v Speaker 1>man named Jack's who woke up half naked in a

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<v Speaker 1>bath His lady had left some toast on his breast

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<v Speaker 1>and a vegetable lodged in his glass glass. That's what

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<v Speaker 1>you're choosing. I think that is sure. I think that's

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<v Speaker 1>the perfect story told. But if you're just tuning in

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<v Speaker 1>for the second day update, one of our listeners, Jack's,

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<v Speaker 1>met a super hot girl named Iris on Instagram and

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<v Speaker 1>he took her to a bar where they wrote dirty

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<v Speaker 1>limericks to each other, and apparently it worked in setting

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<v Speaker 1>the mood because they ended up back at his place,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's where his memory of the night starts to fade,

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<v Speaker 1>because he woke up the next morning half clothed in

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<v Speaker 1>a bathtub with some toast sprinkled over his body and

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<v Speaker 1>does not know what happened. I know that you've tried

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<v Speaker 1>to piece together the night as best you can. Can

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<v Speaker 1>you think of anything you did that could be misconstrued.

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<v Speaker 1>You know it's so hazy, but I really want to

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<v Speaker 1>find out. It's super important to me. Okay, all right, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>let's give Iris a call and figure out what happened

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<v Speaker 1>after the period that you don't remember at your place?

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<v Speaker 1>How did you end up in that bathtub half naked.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna try and figure this out. I'm gonna dollar

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<v Speaker 1>the number right now here we go. Hello, Hi, can

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<v Speaker 1>I speak to Iris? Please? Yeah? Did she? Hi? Iris?

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<v Speaker 1>My name's Young Jeffrey from the radio show Brook and

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<v Speaker 1>Jeffrey in the Morning. Okay, Are you familiar with us?

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<v Speaker 1>Kind of? That's good works? Hi, Iris? Hi, we're doing

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<v Speaker 1>something called the second Date Update. Are you familiar with

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<v Speaker 1>that segment that we do? Um? Yeah, a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>certainty in that, boyson, Just to refresh your memory. That's

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<v Speaker 1>where if you go on a date with someone and

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<v Speaker 1>afterwards they're not calling you back, you can email the

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<v Speaker 1>show and we'll call the person to try and figure

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<v Speaker 1>out the reason why. Oh okay, all right, So you

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<v Speaker 1>recently went out with a guy who is really really

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<v Speaker 1>interested to hear from you. We don't know, no, Braden's here, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>We do have a guy that emailed us though, trying

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<v Speaker 1>to get a hold of you, whose name is Jack's.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, it's as excited about Jack's as you are,

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<v Speaker 1>as Brady no, all right, okay, Well, Jack's told us

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit about your evening together as great. It

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<v Speaker 1>was very interesting the story that he told us. M hm,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure. Yeah. It sounds like you're a pretty good

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<v Speaker 1>limerick writer. He actually told you about that. Oh, he

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<v Speaker 1>read it to us. You read it to us and

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<v Speaker 1>we had to bleep a lot of stuff. I can't

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<v Speaker 1>believe that came out of your mind. You told me, like,

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<v Speaker 1>get dirty. What's dirtier than one time? I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 1>it's bad. I think actually you and I should go

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<v Speaker 1>hand out and like have a beer after this. But

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<v Speaker 1>we were very creative. But after the limerick, he said,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys had a few more drinks and went back

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<v Speaker 1>to his place. And that's where he's frustrated because he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't remember a lot. Well, I am not surprised because

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<v Speaker 1>he just like a sloppy drunk. Um. I really don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if I should tell you that. Why, Well, he

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<v Speaker 1>really wants to know. He doesn't know how he ended

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<v Speaker 1>up where he ended up, and could you just maybe

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<v Speaker 1>fill in some of the details that are missing for us.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know, it's really embarrassing for him.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if he'd want to hear this. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>he understands when you email into the show to ask

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<v Speaker 1>for one of these second date updates, you know that

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<v Speaker 1>you might hear something you don't necessarily want to hear.

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<v Speaker 1>Them might be a little bit embarrassing. And the thing

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<v Speaker 1>is he may need to learn from this because he

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<v Speaker 1>has no idea what he did. Yeah, I find that

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<v Speaker 1>hard to believe. What it? Why would you say that?

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<v Speaker 1>This just seems like something he does a lot. Really,

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<v Speaker 1>what does he do? Let me tell you the story

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<v Speaker 1>of what happened that night. Are you going to do

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<v Speaker 1>a limerick? Oh? Geez, off the cuff? I don't know. Okay, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you could just tell us normal. So, yeah, we were

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<v Speaker 1>back at his place and it was fine. There was

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit of making out, and we started dancing

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<v Speaker 1>a little and we had even bordering, and then he

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<v Speaker 1>whispered in my ear. My fantasy way, Well, if he

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<v Speaker 1>first tried to guess mine and then he decided to

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<v Speaker 1>tell me his fantasy, is that because you wouldn't tell him, right? Okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>what did he say? Well, he whispered in my ear.

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<v Speaker 1>You know my fantasy is to be a little boy.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, what did you do. I thought he

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<v Speaker 1>was joking at first because we've been doing dirty limericks

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, but he started calling me mommy

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<v Speaker 1>and had me make him cinnamon toast and strawberry milk.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not kidding. Sounds pretty good. It sounds sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>a delicious meal to enjoy. That is so disturbing. Did

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<v Speaker 1>you actually make the toast? Well? Yeah, I figured maybe

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<v Speaker 1>he'll sober up with some food. Oh yeah, that's good. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>which part of this was weird to you? All of

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<v Speaker 1>it was weird, but I didn't really know at this

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<v Speaker 1>point whether he was joking still or I need to

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<v Speaker 1>be fair. You were the one who wrote out a

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<v Speaker 1>dead hood in a cave who was missing body parts,

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<v Speaker 1>So I think that's pretty balanced out. It is not.

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<v Speaker 1>He's called her mommy. Well he's drunk, is all I'm saying. Yeah,

0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 1>so you got to give him a pass a little bit, no,

0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:02.200
<v Speaker 1>because that's truth serum. Dude. Yeah, I don't know. He

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.240
<v Speaker 1>definitely was not joking when I realized he got into

0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:08.960
<v Speaker 1>the bathtub and wanted me to like swaddle him, so

0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:16.240
<v Speaker 1>I just like wrapped him up the bathroom by himself.

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.600
<v Speaker 1>So that's why he woke up in a sheet. Yeah.

0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.840
<v Speaker 1>I was really freaked out at that point because he

0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:26.640
<v Speaker 1>just started clapping his hands, going mommy, bathtime, mommy, that's cute.

0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:32.079
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, oh my god. That is so much

0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:37.000
<v Speaker 1>on a first day, so much. Now you're being one

0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:41.480
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent serious about all this, Unfortunately, don't explain everything.

0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:46.000
<v Speaker 1>Jeffs are right, the toast, the sheet, the sheet, why

0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.840
<v Speaker 1>he was in the bathtub in the first place. Okay, Well,

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.760
<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of things have been answered for us.

0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like I said, it's going to be hard

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.280
<v Speaker 1>to forget it, that's for sure. Yeah. Well, I mean

0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:57.439
<v Speaker 1>I want to thank you, but I think it'd be

0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:00.959
<v Speaker 1>more appropriate if Jack's thanked you himself, because he's been

0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:02.840
<v Speaker 1>on the other line listening and wants to talk to you.

0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:07.200
<v Speaker 1>Are you kating me? Don't cuss in front of the kid.

0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:16.599
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Jack's your mommy wants to talk to you. Okay, there, Um,

0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm not I'm not really like all that. Uh like

0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:25.640
<v Speaker 1>that was good to drinking, Like, I'm not really into that.

0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.840
<v Speaker 1>That was a test you were kidding? Uh? Yeah, No,

0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 1>it was just like drunkingly joking around. Yeah, I think so, Jack,

0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.760
<v Speaker 1>Are you remembering now what I just told you. Uh,

0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:40.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe a little bit. I don't remember that toast stuff

0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>like not. I don't know. I probably shouldn't have even

0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.680
<v Speaker 1>called you guys. I'm really sorry. No, No, I'm glad

0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:48.880
<v Speaker 1>you did. Jack. This is a story that we all

0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:51.800
<v Speaker 1>needed to hear today. Here's Jacks. You don't need to

0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.640
<v Speaker 1>be ashamed of whatever your fantasy is. Okay, it was

0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.480
<v Speaker 1>just like that's maybe like ten years into a marriage

0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:04.200
<v Speaker 1>type of situation where you at least second dated. Yeah. No,

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:06.600
<v Speaker 1>it's not like my fantasy. It's just like something that

0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.000
<v Speaker 1>I came out after like a lot of drinking. Yes,

0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:11.680
<v Speaker 1>you have to believe me. Do you hear that? Iris,

0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Jack. Do you remember when you were

0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:19.440
<v Speaker 1>in the bathtub forcing me to feed you the toes? Uh? No,

0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:22.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't remember that. I'm not really should have happened. Actually,

0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:25.880
<v Speaker 1>you asked me too, and you had opened your mouth

0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 1>saying the airplane's coming in the hangar. I didn't. I

0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:36.840
<v Speaker 1>didn't really say that, did I? Yes, yes you did,

0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.920
<v Speaker 1>and Iris, you complied. Yeah, I mean I thought it

0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:41.680
<v Speaker 1>was a joke for a little bit. But when he

0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.680
<v Speaker 1>started clapping his hands and saying Mommy, Mommy, I realized

0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.240
<v Speaker 1>it was not a joke anymore. I mean, but I

0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.840
<v Speaker 1>think that you're just as much at fault as Jack's

0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:53.040
<v Speaker 1>because you're encouraging this. I mean, you're the one that's

0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:57.120
<v Speaker 1>filling out his fantasies, making the airplane noises, putting breadsticks

0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 1>into his mouth. Oh, I think it was I don't

0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:06.800
<v Speaker 1>know you a little bit of a memory came back

0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.000
<v Speaker 1>there for a second. Okay. But here's the positive thing

0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 1>about this, Iris. You did like him, and this was

0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot to pull out on a first date. But

0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.560
<v Speaker 1>now all the cards are on the table. I mean,

0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.640
<v Speaker 1>there's there's no more surprises if you guys go out

0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:21.640
<v Speaker 1>on another date exactly. But this point, Iris, I think

0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:25.440
<v Speaker 1>it's appropriate if I ask, would mommy like to see

0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:29.400
<v Speaker 1>baby one more? Fine? We'll pay for Can you stop it?

0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:34.520
<v Speaker 1>For you old babies getting glumpy? Sounds like Jeffrey's also

0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.040
<v Speaker 1>lived out your fantasy before Jack. So you know you're

0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:38.840
<v Speaker 1>a good company. No, you're just gave me some really

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.800
<v Speaker 1>good ideas. Jack's from future of my dating career. I'm

0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:46.120
<v Speaker 1>hanging up right now. No, don't go leave, we're just playing. Yeah, Iris,

0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 1>will you go out with him? Again. You know I'm

0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.760
<v Speaker 1>gonna have to pass on another date, but I'm just

0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 1>sure there's another mommy out there for him. Jack's I'm sorry.

0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.080
<v Speaker 1>I actually feel bad for you. You got a little

0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:01.240
<v Speaker 1>embarrassed you didn't get a date. Okay, No, you know

0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 1>what we're gonna do for you, Jack. We're gonna open

0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:05.520
<v Speaker 1>up the text line right now, text into seven eight

0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:07.760
<v Speaker 1>five nine two. Are there any mommies out there that

0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 1>want to airplane feed? Jack's inside the bathtub again, you guys,

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.720
<v Speaker 1>it's not my fantasy. So like you can have phone

0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:15.680
<v Speaker 1>with this, but like I'm letting you know, I don't

0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:22.159
<v Speaker 1>even remember most of it, So brooking Jeffrey in the morning.

0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:26.120
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