WEBVTT - PRETTY OPEN: Inside The DL Culture: Unpacking The DL Man with DL Whisperer Part 1 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.120 Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebine, a space where no 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:07.360 question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views 0:00:07.360 --> 0:00:10.400 shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower. 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:14.080 From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:19.400 don't last, but professional home girls do enjoy the show. 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:31.240 What's up, y'all? I hope all is cute? Ishagara Ebinez 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:35.400 here and welcome back to Pretty Private Now. This week 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:38.080 on the show, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:41.400 down with DL Whisper, someone who's shed in light on 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:45.680 conversations most people are too afraid to have. Now, in 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:48.680 part one of our conversations, we dive into his personal 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:52.120 journey with DL men and how those experiences led him 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:55.560 to create a platform that not only informs, but also 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:59.960 challenges the way we think about DL culture, black relationships, 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:04.360 and taboo topics within our community. So get ready, because 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:09.360 my conversation with d L Whisper starts now. All right, 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.319 to my guests, thank you so much for being a guest. 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:14.440 I'm pretty Private. How are you doing. How you feeling? 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:18.480 Yeah, I'm feeling great. It's Sunday, it's early, this is 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:20.839 my rome time, early in the morning. So I feel great. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:22.640 Yeah, shah, he got me recording on a Sunday on 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:26.840 the Lord's Day. I said, I know that's right. Well, 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:30.240 for those who may not know, I love your work. 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.080 I discover you on one of my favorite YouTubers, Storm 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:35.760 and Row shout out to him, and I was just 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:37.920 so intrigued with what you're doing because I feel like 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:42.200 you're literally doing God's work and being very informative, very helpful, 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.959 very insightful, and I can only imagine the flag that 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:50.760 you do receive from certain people. But before we start, 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:53.360 can you please let people know what is a download men? 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.880 So a download man is the man that either has 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:02.520 been with men, has desires to be women or I 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:05.240 mean essentially, either he wants to be with men or 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.960 he has been with men and he's secretly doing it, 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.639 but he's keeping this heterosexual identity. So essentially dating women, 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:16.880 marrying women, but sleeping with men secretly. That's the cutting 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:17.440 draw difference. 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.920 Right, So would you say there's a difference between a 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:22.239 download man and a closet man because I feel like 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:23.400 it's a very thin line. 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:23.760 Right. 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:28.760 I just made a video about that because I feel 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.800 like it's semantics technically, and I hate semantics. So I 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:33.920 know people are like, oh, I respect the closeted man, 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.960 but I'm like, it's technically the same thing. Like the 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:41.359 only difference is we assume a closetive man isn't pursuing 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:44.640 women and that they're just only pursuing men. But people 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.160 just don't know about their sexuality. But I don't know 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.840 many closetive men, because that's the street is gay people 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:51.400 with paul it. 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:53.839 But exactly That's how I was like, let me ask 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:55.880 this question because I feel like the line is very 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:56.839 thin between the two. 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:00.360 To me, it's the same, but people are Samani, so 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:02.240 I just let them they want to use it. Because 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:04.280 even the whole gay and by like men are either 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.880 gay or they're straight. I don't do by like. It's 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.320 just keep it cut and dry, like I don't like 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:10.799 the semantics of it all. 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:14.000 We both on all fours. 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:19.960 Yeah, So, because a lot of people have been asking, like, 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:21.960 what's the difference, So I'm just like, I don't really 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.360 talk about it because there's really no difference because regardless, 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:27.560 you're not going to know if a man is if 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:30.240 he's sleeping with women, or if you think that he's straight, 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:32.920 you're not going to know he's secretly with men, regardless 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.240 of if he's closeted ordel. So they both do the 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:38.960 same thing. It's just one where so mean is not 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:40.480 is not affecting women. 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:43.840 Yeah, so what inspire you to start helping women detect 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:48.280 men who identify as or who are downlaw Because I 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.840 was reading listen to your videos and stuff, and I'm like, wow, 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.440 like you've been doing this for a very long time. 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.520 Yeah, So what originally inspired me, I guess you could 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:59.600 say is because Okay, when I like, I always tell 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.440 people I was never with download men as like you 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:06.119 see some people do it for like competition. I guess 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:08.400 you could say, I don't approach men, So if a 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.400 man approached me, I was never going to assume he 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:13.160 was download This is where that closeted comes into waiting. 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:17.360 I'm assume you're closeted, but then I find out you're 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:19.320 into women, and all it is. Now I know that 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:21.440 you're download so it makes it a lot different. And 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.680 I wasn't too privy about the dating, so I didn't 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:26.400 look at it as a bad thing. When men told 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:27.880 me that they were down load, It's like, okay, that's 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:30.840 your sexuality that has nothing to do with me. So 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.599 by me not really knowing what download was, throughout dating, 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:37.039 I you know, I learned what it was, and I 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.279 learned the way that they moved and like I always 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.919 tell people, like, there was instances where my life was 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.440 almost taken, so where my life was almost. 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:49.479 Pack yeah, oh wow, So I was listening to that video. 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.919 We don't have to say the name. But did you 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:53.680 try to like confront him or. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:56.960 I tried to leave him actually because I had essentially, 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.080 you know, after a couple of years, I'm okay, are 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:02.440 we getting married? At this point, It's like it's been 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:05.160 five years, Like what are we doing yet? What we're doing? 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.800 So he was like, we're never gonna get married, like 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.120 his parents were going through a divorce. It was a 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:13.320 lot of stuff. So for me, I'm done. But then, 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.320 you know how it was a month later, it was 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.520 late at night, we was texting. I let him come over. 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.960 Shit didn't go how I needed to go, and he 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.440 couldn't get hard. Like so when he couldn't get hard, 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:26.120 I'm like, well, this is a sign from God that 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:28.200 we're not even supposed to be right here, right now, 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:29.960 right not get hard? 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:31.000 Aside from god cha. 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:34.440 So I was trying to. I was just telling him like, well, 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:37.280 this is a sign, and he just couldn't you know. 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.520 And then I was growing on social media. So he 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:42.400 had built this paranoia in his head that somehow when 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.800 we are completely done, since I was leaving him, that 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:46.839 I was going to go do story times and you know, 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.560 exposed him, right, I told him after five years, don't 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.320 you think after so many things that had happened, if 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.200 I was going to expose you, I would have done that. 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:59.080 But see that's when I realized like their paranoia had 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:02.719 it had nothing to do what they had with him 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.160 thinking that his secret could even be exposed because I 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:09.039 knew his secret, and not with you because usually you 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:11.640 don't see gay me and leaving the DL man. So 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:14.120 even me doing that was like a big like oh wow, 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:17.600 like you're leaving me, Like yo, like I'm done I started. 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:19.359 So how did it end. 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:22.880 With all of that? Like he tried to you know, 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.200 kill me. He ended up going to jail. I ended 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:27.960 up exposing him against the police wishes, and then I 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:31.320 got dogs. Then that that was the end. I never 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:34.440 saw him again. We had one conversation since besides him 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:38.120 boxing me. But that was it because once we get 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.200 physical and then, like I know people when they hear like, oh, 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.240 he tried to save my life, like I'm not playing 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:48.640 like when I take knives, candles biting, like just none 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:51.120 stopped fighting for like thirty minutes. And if you're from 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:53.839 Atlanta or you living, it's taking Atlanta police forever to 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.440 get somewhere, like if I want to if I like 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.080 I always tell people, if I couldn't have defended myself, 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.120 I wouldn't even be And when the police got there, 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:03.880 they're like, don't expose him, like you don't know what 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:05.040 that's gonna do to his mental life. 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.960 Well, the police was encouraging not to expose him. 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:10.680 Yo, They was encouraging me to essentially allow him to 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:12.600 do all of which he did to me because they 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.000 only took him to jail because I pressed the issue, 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:16.880 Like they weren't even gonna take him to jail. He 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:20.680 was driving with no license, DUIs all of this. Then 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:22.800 they didn't give a vote. He had stole my wallet, 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.760 my iPad, all of this, Like they're arresting him and 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:27.760 they're taking out all of my shit and they're like, oh, 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:31.600 because they thought I was lying, they didn't believe. From 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:33.720 that point, I was like, okay, because I had never 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.120 been in a situation with the police and a deal man. 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:41.200 And then I realized like this wasn't what I thought. Yeah, 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.280 and then that's when I'm like, okay. Even as far 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.080 as the women, like, you know, I had a dal 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.000 gut that I was talking to me and his baby 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.080 mamas kept getting in to it and stuff. So I 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.640 was like, you know, for me, I wanted to help 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:54.360 women because I was, like I said, I was a 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:58.600 little bit younger, so I was more so deefing with them, 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:01.440 like we're going back and forth. Whereas like I always 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.720 tell the DL dudes now because I still talk to 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.520 some of them just you know, because meh, but I'll 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:09.640 be letting them know I should have went against you, 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.240 not have been beefing with women. Even though women were 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.000 beefing with me, like they were approaching me, but I 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:18.600 still should have thought, like, maybe I should team up 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:19.760 with them because the man. 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:21.840 Is been their own because essentially he's playing us. 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:24.920 Both, thank you, And it wasn't that's always I didn't 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:27.000 be with so many women about men that well they 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:29.520 beef with me. But it's the fact that people be 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:32.360 surprised because they'll think that when women hear that their 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.719 man is ll that that's it. And it's like, you know, 0:08:35.000 --> 0:08:36.960 a lot of them don't leave. They'll just just like 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.559 they'll be for the women they're gonna be with that 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:39.080 gay boy. 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:43.320 Which I am so surprised that in twenty twenty five 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:47.240 we are still going through this. I know, like, it's 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:48.600 very shocking to me. 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:52.959 I'll see why though, why they want somebody people don't 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.040 know how to go. And I was like that too, 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:59.360 So I was willing to accept literally anything, because like 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.520 I always tell my family, like it played into how 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:04.520 I was raised. Let's always tell people how people are 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:06.720 raised playing such a big part in who they become. 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:09.839 So once I started going to therapy and realizing a 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.040 lot of my toxic traits, that that made me not 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:13.800 even going to be with del man because it made 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.559 me realize, like their whole existence is a lot, it's 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.520 a lot like there there, everything is victimalized. And then 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:23.720 once I saw when I came to everybody with what 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.200 happened to me, and I saw everybody's reaction, I was 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:29.400 just like a little shocked because people didn't have sympathy, 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:32.120 not that I wanted it, but it was like he 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:36.280 became the victim. Mm. They become the victims. And I'm 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.480 just like, are people like I understand it's not okay 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:41.920 to expose somebody's sexuality, but the things that. 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:43.839 They do but also don't force my hand. 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:46.480 That's why I say, like, if you would have never 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:48.480 attacked me, you would have never got exposed. And then 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.600 from there when somebody tried to save your life, and 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.000 that's the serious matter. So like I always tell people, 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:57.240 I should have got off social media, but I had 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:00.200 my mental breakdown that I was gonna have regardless, I 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.600 had it on social media, which is how all of 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.480 these other men got exposed because I was pierced, like 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.360 you know, because some of them were reaching out blaming 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:11.640 me too. So I'm just like everybody blaming me for 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:13.839 actions that somebody else done. Like at the end of 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.000 the day, I can't make somebody attack me and try 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:16.559 to kill me. 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.120 Yeah, And how were you raised? Cause I think you 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:20.959 make that's a really good point. I always say that 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.480 childhood makes a break your adulthood. 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:27.440 So I was raised like split like when I was 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:30.280 with my mother, very toxic, but when I was with 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:34.000 my great grandmother, very Christian, very like I feel like 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:37.560 I contribute most of my personality and the good part 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:38.920 sent me to my great grandmother. 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:40.800 But my mom always have an old soul. 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.360 They're like, I'm always toxic. So that's always tell people 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:48.960 like that toxicness is in there because me, my mom 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.720 was very, very toxic. And like I always tell people, 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.679 it was this one do dude, and he the one 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:57.320 who made me even realize to start self reflecting it 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.040 because he wasn't a bad person, and I guess you 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.319 don't say he was posted, but you know, I kind 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.800 of treated him terribly and that was the first time 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.200 I ever got cut off by anybody. So it made 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.560 me start reflecting that. I realized, like, the way that 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:14.840 you're treating people, this is not love. But I thought 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:16.760 it was love because like like I said, oh, people 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:20.040 on from you'll get cussed out, be everything, and then 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:24.400 you're okay. Yeah, you'll fight because scream, say some of 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.680 the most hateful ship and then you're okay. 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:29.520 But that's how that's how I grew up. 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:33.280 Yeah, but that's toxic, right some people. I was with 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:35.240 a man that had never got cussed out, his mama, 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.079 had never coasted to him, so when I'm cussing him out, 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.400 calling him all types of bitches and he couldn't take it, and. 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:45.400 I'm just like, who are you talking to to me? 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.920 This just to love? Like I mean, when you get mad, 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.040 you say ship sometimes that I had to realize that's 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.920 that's not love, you know, so that's always say like 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:58.040 it was a combination. That's why I never I'm not 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.199 mad at THEO man because they helped me likelearn a 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.200 lot about myself in the world in general. Because I 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.400 know we can't say no names, but maybe when we're 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.680 not recording, I'll tell you some stories. But the amount 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:13.360 of men that are DL is crazy celebrity wise. Yeah, 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:18.559 oh yeah, And people always think I'm like, I like Atlanta. 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.760 Now that's how I said, I'll tell you so we'll 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:23.640 talk about that after. But yo, that's why I'm like, 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:26.040 I had TV shows in college all of this, so 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.920 the DM thing has always been something that you know, 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:32.240 I've been you know, kind of trying to help people 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:34.120 with because with the TV shows that was going to 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.560 help people, but a DL man stopped. So, you know, 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.960 so when I realized, like, Okay, I don't really need 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:45.240 a TV show or I don't need other platforms or 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.679 other people to help me spread this information. I can 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.160 just literally record a video. So once I really got 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:54.280 into that and I finally decided like I didn't care 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:57.160 what my job thought because I've always worked in public education, 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:58.320 so you know, working at it. 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:02.040 You definitely give me educated like you pull out them 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:06.000 notes and you get to teach it. I just know 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:06.640 that's right. 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.400 But you know this one because this is part of 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.679 why I off my job because this is too controversial. 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.080 Yeah I knew that's why I wasn't associating my name 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.760 with it, but once I got thoughts again and people 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.640 associated it to my name, I didn't really have a choice, 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.640 so yeah, I go with it. And that's why I 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.880 was like, for me, it just made me realize, like, 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.560 this is what I'm supposed to be doing because this 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.720 had nothing. I was the best at my job. Nobody 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:34.680 else could do financial head and still can't do it 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:37.160 how I do it. But it's the fact that this 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.720 right here me helping women. And think about it, I 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:43.360 worked with all black women managed by black women, and 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:45.400 they were the ones who got rid of me because 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.800 of this type of content. And I'm just like you 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:50.040 would have thought they would have been more appreciative because 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.040 I'm literally just trying to help women in. 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.839 General, and what does this have to do with mine? 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:54.520 Nine to five? 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.920 Right? Well, they said they didn't want this to reflect 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:00.720 on them, because again it makes sense like people coming 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:04.120 up at the school, like, you know, they I got it. 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:05.680 That's why I was like for a long time, I 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:09.080 didn't really help women publicly, like I've always helped my friends. 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:11.760 Like if they send me a dude, do you think 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.280 he gave, I'm gonna let them know, Like you baby 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:17.080 daddy doing some questionable stuff, I'm gonna let you know 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.280 like I've always That's why I say, like, essentially now 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:23.240 I'm just giving women on the internet the same advice 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:25.520 that I give women in my everyday life, like my 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:29.440 best friends, than my acquaintances and just women because I mean, 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:31.480 like I always say, I've never been the type of 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.560 gay guy that felt like in competition with women, hated 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:39.360 women because for me, you know, I was about to say, 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:41.320 because it's a lot of women that feel like they 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:43.120 go through that, but I'm like, I know that only 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.080 man and I know that you're a woman. If a 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:47.800 man he doesn't want me for the reasons that he 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:52.280 wants you, so there's no competition. Ever, you're complete different things. 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:54.520 So I feel like with knowing that it was never 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.520 because a lot of gay men have women mentalities where 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:01.680 everybody is all competition, Like he didn't weigh everybody in 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.720 this fight. It's just the one started because I mean, 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:07.200 they could never compete with women. But you can't feel 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:07.840 with some of them that. 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.160 What's up, y'all? It's Chagara Embna here and be sure 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.960 to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty private 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.640 podcasts and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.840 at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to the show. 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:31.000 Listen quick story time. So I was in Paris, right, 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:35.000 I want to go see Beyonce perform, and I met 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.320 this guy through a friend that was with me, and 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:40.040 come to find out he was gay. I feel like 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:42.640 this was the Nigga version of me, like for real, 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:44.960 like we had such a good time. So it was 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.200 another guy that we noticed this in the same rooms 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.240 with us whatever, and I feel like he was like 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:54.600 maybe not on the DL but probably just not fully out. 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:57.440 And the only reason why I said this is because 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.680 when he saw me. When I tell you he was 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.000 staring at me, and I ain't gonna lie. The nigga 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:05.920 was fine, So I'm like, is he gay or does 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.040 he like me? Or you know what I'm saying. So 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.840 eventually we went to some other spots or whatever, and 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.600 it was predominantly where you know the girls was at. 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.520 And I see him with a nigga, so I'm like, 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:18.040 and he saw me, so I can tell he got 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:20.240 a little uncomfortable. But I was like, no, I'd be 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:22.360 cool to snap because I'm like, shit, everybody want this 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.040 nigga because he was fine. And so I was telling 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:28.520 my homeboy and he was like, because the guy ended 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.920 up following me on Instagram, so I follow him back whatever, 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:32.880 and I was telling my homeboy. He was like, well 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.200 send me his page, and he's like I made the 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:38.400 best bitch win. And I was like, child, But it's 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:40.840 so true what you're saying that, like a lot of 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.640 these men, like I could just tell how tense he got, 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:47.080 like every time he would see me with our mutual friends, 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.560 like he would not be comfortable. But when I walk 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.600 away and I watch him from like, you know, him 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.880 not knowing, I'm like, look at this nigga. I'm like boy, 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:55.680 just be cray. It's twenty twenty. 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:58.960 Five and it's all in there here for the most part. 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.640 That's what they don't get. They think everybody is just 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:03.960 judging them, which a lot of them know that. Now 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:06.280 a lot of them also know a woman isn't going 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.680 to want them if she knows that he's in man, 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.920 So a lot of them have an attraction for women. 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:14.600 Like I mean, listen, I like, I always tell people 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:16.400 I wouldn't be with a woman, but I can look 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.800 at a woman and find a woman attractor. So they 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:20.720 are going to be men that are going to go 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.119 further than that, and they still might not want to 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.720 be with a woman. And some dl men actually wants 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.160 to be with women, but they just have these secret 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:31.160 little kinks for men. So that's always kind of got 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.960 to know where you're at with a man, because I mean, 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.600 is any man in straights? I think that's kind of 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:39.040 like a defect at this point. If a man is straight, 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:42.280 it's defective because we're are the straight men well maybe 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.480 not online. Let me be clear, there are straight men 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:48.520 very small it's the very small percentage. 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:50.840 Because I can find no man child or no man 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:52.920 ain't found me. Would you make a good point because 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:54.879 I had a conversation with this with one of my 0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:58.000 other guests and her stories with finding out that her 0:17:58.119 --> 0:17:59.760 husband was on the d L and I think he 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:03.439 had as and she lived in Atlanta, right, and she 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:05.680 was saying how she don't believe that no man is straight. 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:10.119 Well in Atlanta, Now that's one of the capitals. If 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:14.480 you're in Houston, Atlanta, New York, Miami, New York. 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:15.520 I'm in New York. 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:24.159 Okay, I hope you're not in like none of the Burroughs. 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:26.200 They're none of the Burrows. 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:27.639 No, you think all of them. 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:31.200 Gay, don't and don't let them be Puerto Rican. 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:33.919 Come on, I know about the poppies now. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:41.880 But listen, who do you think like the poppies? The niggas? 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.400 The niggas? I know, that's all. I'm like. If it's 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:47.480 a bunch of them, and it's a bunch of niggas somewhere, 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.280 you gotta start watching. That's why I told women about 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.479 the app store going because I mean, at this point, 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:55.080 these DM men are so lazy that of course they're 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.199 going to go to an app and just get on 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:02.200 here person two hundred feet away, Bratlorer, It's easy so. 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:03.760 You didn't think that the white man's where is that 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.119 I really want to be with a nigga. 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:10.560 But I think you'll have more transparency with a white man. 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:13.200 But I think I always tell women like I wouldn't 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:16.120 at this point in time, I would not put all 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:20.280 of my eggs and especially one basket. But especially not 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:22.760 just black men, you know, because I think that the 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:25.360 amount of Black men that have not been conquered by 0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:28.640 white supremacy and all of the other bullshit that has 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.439 been thrown at our community, I think that they're already 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.000 taken for starters, and it's such a small number that 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.840 you're gonna be picking for needles in a haystack. So 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.520 it's like open it up because a lot of other 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:42.560 men will appreciate. I mean, I think in general, a 0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:46.560 straight man isn't gonna be so concerned about race. But 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:48.920 they're also not gonna be self hating. So let's make 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.600 that clear. Because it's like always look people about intiracial dating. 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:53.840 You just top to weed out those people, Like if 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:55.880 you meet a black man that doesn't tate black women, 0:19:56.160 --> 0:20:00.320 big red flag. If you meet a white yeah, black 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:03.199 think you you came from somebody. But how can you 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.359 not like self hating people. That's the prerecordit for a 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.400 man to be deals. So as long as you're those men, 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:11.480 a white man that oh I don't date white women, 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:14.639 I only want black women. Okay, so you have a fetish, Okay, cool, 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:16.960 if you're cool with being a fetish. Let's always tell 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:19.359 people just know what you're getting yourself into when you're 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:22.080 dating certain ethnic groups, because you have to know. 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:25.159 How that's a fact. Do you think that some of 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:27.240 these men are addicted to living a double life? 0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:32.359 Are they addicted or can they just get away with 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:37.080 it easily? I'm not even gonna. I do think some 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:39.080 of them are, but I think it's more so I 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:41.400 ain't and I don't give them no excuses. But it's 0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:43.960 like a society thing because even though, like I tell people, 0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:49.160 I know plenty of people like sports players, let's let's 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:51.680 do sports specifically that if the world was to find 0:20:51.680 --> 0:20:53.520 out there dyl they're off of the team, like they 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:56.880 will never play again if it's confirmed. Now, if it's 0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:59.440 just a rumor and it's no proof or nothing there, 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:02.800 but I feel like society just do it does demonize 0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:05.640 people that are not straight in certain positions. So let's 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:07.320 always stay like, you have to know what type of 0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:09.639 man you're dating. If you're dating a man that like, 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.440 if you're dating a coach, I coaches need a wife 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:16.240 and kids to make that whole esthetic work, like you know, 0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:18.320 the image work. So you have to know which type 0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:21.600 of man. Like when you're in these music industries, podcast, 0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:25.199 anything with fine arts or the media, you need a 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:29.040 lot of men that are gonna need beards. They're gonna know. 0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:30.800 That's so crazy that you said that. Because one of 0:21:30.800 --> 0:21:34.800 my homeboys, he works in the industry, and he was like, girl, 0:21:35.080 --> 0:21:37.000 he said, you ain't gonna get no man in this industry. 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:38.920 He was like, in you and media, he said, either 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:42.160 they gay or horse. He was like, you're not gonna 0:21:42.160 --> 0:21:43.720 find anybody. And I was like, for real, he was like, 0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:45.159 and that's who was telling me, Like, you might as 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:47.359 well just get your white man I see you, or 0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:49.800 get a other Indian man. He was like, because you 0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:51.800 ain't gonna get no nigga. All these niggas are either 0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:52.879 gay or they nasty. 0:21:53.320 --> 0:21:56.520 Because, especially for black men, because we are the apendey 0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:59.119 of masculinity, a lot of them when they're getting to 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:02.040 these heights they have they're having and I hate to 0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:04.600 bring race into it, but I have to. They're having 0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:06.200 to go through these white men that are going to 0:22:06.240 --> 0:22:09.359 make them do things that are humiliating, the meaning that 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:12.720 makes them hate themselves because the whole, the whole objective 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:16.800 is for black men, especially to not feel good about themselves, 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:21.239 like all of this. Look what that repression is like. 0:22:21.280 --> 0:22:24.919 Look how you always see where the athlete gets with 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:27.800 that white woman and then look what always end up happening. 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:31.280 Yeah, but back to slavery. That's how they used to 0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:34.520 break the household down. They break the man down. Right, 0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:37.480 Come on, now, one thing about professional homegirls. We know something. 0:22:37.520 --> 0:22:40.200 Now you break the man down, and once he break 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:42.679 the man down, then everybody else in the household follows 0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:44.840 because the man is ahead of the household. And once 0:22:44.880 --> 0:22:47.600 you take that from a man, his dignity, that's it. 0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:49.920 And see this is and this is the good part 0:22:50.280 --> 0:22:52.760 black women. It didn't work on black women because I 0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:56.520 feel like they what happened. It worked on black men, 0:22:56.640 --> 0:22:59.320 But it made black women stronger. Let's always tell black women, like, 0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:01.119 when you're here some why they call it you stronger, 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:04.439 that those are used to make you think that you 0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:07.120 being stronger, independent is bad, but you had to be 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:10.040 because you couldn't depend on your men facts. They didn't 0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:11.919 want you to. They didn't want you all to be 0:23:11.960 --> 0:23:15.400 stronger independent. But I'm like, that's what's holding the black community. Oh, 0:23:15.440 --> 0:23:18.479 it's black women. Like if black women had been conquered 0:23:18.520 --> 0:23:21.080 by men, or they let black men conquer them, the 0:23:21.119 --> 0:23:24.600 whole Black community is going to be done. It's not 0:23:24.720 --> 0:23:27.160 standing on black men. Like, think about any time there's 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:29.680 a political movement, who's at the forefront black men or 0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:35.160 black women. Anytime there's any anything, anything is women because 0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:39.360 black men are cowards. Yeah, child, when you go back 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:41.520 to the racism and all of that, that's always tell 0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:44.080 people like the dh thing is so much deeper than 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:46.560 just that, because I was like, even like when we 0:23:46.600 --> 0:23:48.560 get into the STDs that they put in this community, 0:23:48.600 --> 0:23:50.919 I was like, everything that they've done to break the 0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:53.719 black community, it's somewhat work, But what they didn't account 0:23:53.760 --> 0:23:56.000 for is that it affected their communities too. 0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:58.840 It is exactly, and that's when it becomes a problem. 0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:00.920 That's when it becomes a problem. And that's why now 0:24:01.560 --> 0:24:05.400 it's more so about just elitists, like they don't care 0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:08.080 now they always knew that all white people would not 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:12.840 have the same white supremacy like the elite people of 0:24:13.160 --> 0:24:14.200 the society. 0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:19.600 End of time. But then when those white kids start 0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:22.520 doing drugs and getting high and over those opios. Oh, 0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:24.520 it was an epidemic. It was a problem. 0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:26.480 And that's why I say, I hate to make it 0:24:26.640 --> 0:24:29.639 so black and white, but don't get integrated for seventy 0:24:29.680 --> 0:24:31.680 five years, so we have to go back to Like 0:24:32.280 --> 0:24:34.879 if you go back, so now you're like, I mean, 0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:36.920 it started black and white. You were either white or 0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:39.520 you were colored or move lot of them. So that's 0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:42.240 always so I'm not making it black and white, but 0:24:42.600 --> 0:24:45.440 that's where it started because like even with the LGBT, 0:24:45.680 --> 0:24:48.840 I don't ever consider myself a part of LGBC because 0:24:48.840 --> 0:24:51.200 if you look at how the LGBT community was formed, 0:24:51.240 --> 0:24:54.280 it was stormed for white people, so they didn't hate themselves. 0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:56.840 Because if you go back, so before we were colonized 0:24:57.280 --> 0:24:59.920 African people. Because the men love to bring up Africans 0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:02.840 when they want to talk about piercings and other girly 0:25:02.960 --> 0:25:05.000 things that they're doing to beautify they stuff. But if 0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:08.480 you go back and really study, all African cultures had 0:25:08.560 --> 0:25:11.440 to or they felt like their people were too spirited 0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:15.120 where they had a male spirit, woman's spirit, Like sexuality 0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:18.000 wasn't a thing. I was like white people started putting 0:25:18.000 --> 0:25:21.879 everything into categories and everything, like think about it, like 0:25:21.960 --> 0:25:24.280 if we would have never been colonized, it would be 0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:27.080 no straight, gay or whatever. People just were people. Yeah. 0:25:27.240 --> 0:25:29.159 Yeah, and then you also mentioned in one of your 0:25:29.240 --> 0:25:32.680 videos that you felt like the community wasn't really fucking 0:25:32.720 --> 0:25:32.920 with you. 0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:34.160 They don't. 0:25:34.600 --> 0:25:35.720 Oh they still don't. 0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:39.439 Why is that using about the gay community, right? 0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:39.760 Yeah? 0:25:39.840 --> 0:25:42.400 Or the LB because they don't like to hear the truth. 0:25:42.520 --> 0:25:44.680 Like as you can see, like I'm not I'm not 0:25:44.760 --> 0:25:47.760 gonna say get things about people. I'm gonna just speak 0:25:47.760 --> 0:25:50.160 the truth. And they try to disconnect the DL men 0:25:50.280 --> 0:25:52.920 from the community, and like I always tell them, like 0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:55.320 DL men are literally just gay men. So I know 0:25:55.520 --> 0:25:58.080 people love to say, well they're making gay men look bad. 0:25:58.119 --> 0:26:00.320 Well this is where gay men need to say accountablit. See. 0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:03.280 That's why I honestly thought when I started this whole process, 0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:05.800 I'm like, Okay, there's gonna be so many other people 0:26:05.880 --> 0:26:08.080 that are gonna come in and add their information. 0:26:08.720 --> 0:26:09.600 This was not that. 0:26:10.240 --> 0:26:13.920 Yeah, it was so much negative from and from like 0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:16.840 the trans community, the gay community, the bay community, or 0:26:16.920 --> 0:26:18.960 the buy community really don't count because they're so small. 0:26:18.960 --> 0:26:23.200 I don't even think it's no openly by men. Yeah yeah, 0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:27.080 but yeah. So they were just upset because they felt 0:26:27.200 --> 0:26:29.119 like a lot of them did tell me like they 0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:31.159 felt like I was holding up a mirror and they 0:26:31.240 --> 0:26:35.000 didn't like seeing essentially themselves and some people it was 0:26:35.080 --> 0:26:37.680 just traumatic, and I get it. It's a traumatic experience, 0:26:37.760 --> 0:26:41.040 like for women, it's a traumatic experience for some gay men. 0:26:41.320 --> 0:26:43.720 Like it's tru that's always say like DM, men don't 0:26:43.760 --> 0:26:46.080 help anybody but themselves. So that's why I was confused 0:26:46.119 --> 0:26:49.800 on like everybody teamed up against me because they don't 0:26:49.840 --> 0:26:52.640 help nobody. Like I've never heard somebody say a do 0:26:52.760 --> 0:26:55.440 man came into their life and brought them so much joy? 0:26:58.000 --> 0:27:00.240 Have you? I like that? 0:27:00.680 --> 0:27:01.439 That's so funny. 0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:02.040 Yo. 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:04.360 One thing about this podcast, I didn't have so many 0:27:04.400 --> 0:27:07.000 different conversations because another woman who I was talking to, 0:27:07.320 --> 0:27:10.040 we were talking about her journey with her being promiscuous, 0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:12.760 and she were talking about the down low men and 0:27:12.920 --> 0:27:14.800 she was saying how she was at a party with 0:27:14.880 --> 0:27:18.760 her homeboy and her homeboy saw her friend with a 0:27:18.880 --> 0:27:21.479 nigga at Homebo was like, I know that nigga from somewhere, 0:27:21.520 --> 0:27:24.000 I don't know where. You already smil him. So she 0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:25.840 was like, well, how you know him? Because he had 0:27:25.920 --> 0:27:28.760 just got out of jail. Come to find out, the 0:27:28.880 --> 0:27:33.920 nigga was fucking with his jail bunkie and he was like. 0:27:34.040 --> 0:27:35.680 She was like, well, we need to go tell my homegirl. 0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:38.200 So he went to go tell her. Homegirl was like, hey, like, 0:27:38.440 --> 0:27:40.000 you know, I'm not trying to be mess or anything. 0:27:40.040 --> 0:27:41.920 I'm just looking out for you. I just want you 0:27:42.000 --> 0:27:43.840 to know what your man been doing when he was 0:27:43.880 --> 0:27:47.800 in jail. And the nigga denied it, and she believed 0:27:47.840 --> 0:27:51.520 her man obviously, but then until the jail monkey had 0:27:51.560 --> 0:27:54.159 called him and stepped to her like a woman, and 0:27:54.320 --> 0:27:59.040 she still didn't believe it. And I'm like, girl, you 0:27:59.200 --> 0:28:01.600 cannot want a man some people. 0:28:01.840 --> 0:28:04.800 I'm telling you some people like literally, because you know, 0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:07.600 I helped women too, so I talked to so many women. 0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:10.680 I'm telling you, some women want a man that bad, 0:28:13.080 --> 0:28:15.440 like to the point that I mean it ain't even 0:28:15.440 --> 0:28:18.119 have to getting to know too much. But like I 0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:21.040 always say, these dal men are perverted, they're dding. So 0:28:21.760 --> 0:28:26.840 some women will let's just say put others at risk 0:28:27.320 --> 0:28:29.800 to keep these men, like maybe their kids. And so 0:28:30.160 --> 0:28:31.639 because you know, like I said, I don't want to 0:28:31.680 --> 0:28:34.520 trigger nobody, but so let's always say like some women 0:28:34.600 --> 0:28:35.919 will do a lot to keep a man. 0:28:36.320 --> 0:28:37.840 Is that particular story you're thinking about. 0:28:38.880 --> 0:28:43.120 Yeah, But because this this one girl I was talking 0:28:43.200 --> 0:28:47.240 to essentially her man, who already she was calling me 0:28:47.320 --> 0:28:49.560 to ask, you know, is he deal, et cetera. But 0:28:49.680 --> 0:28:51.520 when we started getting into it, and she was just 0:28:51.560 --> 0:28:54.880 telling me some instances where you know, he's naked and 0:28:55.440 --> 0:28:57.480 hard in front of her daughters and he's picking the 0:28:57.560 --> 0:29:00.000 kids up hard and they're naked and just a whole 0:29:00.040 --> 0:29:04.480 whole lot of nickedness and weird, you know. But she 0:29:04.680 --> 0:29:06.320 was saying that he was telling her, well, me and 0:29:06.440 --> 0:29:08.480 my dad done this pretty much my whole life. And 0:29:08.560 --> 0:29:11.680 I was just I was just like, you see him 0:29:11.680 --> 0:29:13.640 and his dad done it their whole life. He doesn't, 0:29:13.840 --> 0:29:16.840 he doesn't see it's something wrong here. And that's all 0:29:16.840 --> 0:29:20.160 I was Like a lot of men that urdl have 0:29:20.280 --> 0:29:22.920 been touched and they haven't talked about it. I mean 0:29:23.280 --> 0:29:25.320 not to say that that's gonna make somebody be d ill, 0:29:25.440 --> 0:29:27.680 but I think a lot of men have went through 0:29:27.760 --> 0:29:29.600 some type of assault that they just don't talk about 0:29:29.640 --> 0:29:31.680 because they don't think that even if it's a woman 0:29:31.760 --> 0:29:33.600 that has done it, they don't want to talk about it. 0:29:33.680 --> 0:29:35.800 Let's always say like when she was telling me that, 0:29:35.880 --> 0:29:38.400 and I hear a lot of perverted stories that involve 0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:43.480 kids or animals, and like that for me be red 0:29:43.600 --> 0:29:47.320 flags like animal. Yeah, like this girl, her Man she 0:29:47.560 --> 0:29:50.160 was doing something with horses, like she was a horse 0:29:50.280 --> 0:29:52.400 rider or you know whatever they do, whatever you call it. 0:29:53.360 --> 0:29:57.520 Dis her Man made her stop working with the horses 0:29:57.560 --> 0:29:59.240 because he thought she would fuck a horse. And I 0:29:59.360 --> 0:30:01.200 was just like, girl the beast reality, the fact that 0:30:01.280 --> 0:30:03.320 he even got that thought in his mind, the fact 0:30:03.320 --> 0:30:06.600 that he really pushed the issue, that's serious to make 0:30:06.640 --> 0:30:09.520 you start working horses. I was like, something's off there 0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:13.560 with him. She still wants him, he doesn't really. 0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:15.440 Want her horse. 0:30:16.680 --> 0:30:18.560 The thing is, she flew all the way from Norway 0:30:18.680 --> 0:30:23.440 to America. He showed me some pictures. I was like, 0:30:23.840 --> 0:30:25.800 you could do so much better than him. I was like, listen, 0:30:25.880 --> 0:30:28.719 you don't know how white supremacy and how white man. 0:30:28.760 --> 0:30:31.600 I was like, you over here worried about this white man. 0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:33.720 That's the red neck and a trailer park that's doing 0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:36.200 melting fettermines with his dad, thinking you're gonna fuck a 0:30:36.280 --> 0:30:40.000 horse like I was just like, girl, you should have 0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:41.960 stayed in Norway. I'm like, you could have had any 0:30:42.080 --> 0:30:44.600 white man. And this is what you think is like 0:30:44.760 --> 0:30:46.680 you know, I'm like, yo, you don't know the culture. 0:30:46.680 --> 0:30:49.520 And that's always telling people know the culture. She was like, 0:30:49.560 --> 0:30:53.200 I don't like Norwegian guys. Like okay, I'm like, I still. 0:30:53.520 --> 0:30:56.720 You stillhead, thank you? 0:30:57.280 --> 0:31:00.480 She was like, well his body like who can but. 0:31:00.520 --> 0:31:02.800 See, this is why we gotta hold our sisters accountable, 0:31:02.800 --> 0:31:05.120 because it's like, come on, girl, you you can't be 0:31:05.200 --> 0:31:08.360 this fucking slow. Like I'm not I don't never judge anybody, 0:31:08.400 --> 0:31:10.560 but sometimes i'd be like, girl, yeah. 0:31:10.640 --> 0:31:12.800 It's right now. I hear a lot of women that 0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:14.840 be thinking just because the man got a big dick 0:31:14.960 --> 0:31:18.479 that somehow that's supposed to mean something. It's like, it's 0:31:18.520 --> 0:31:21.320 dick paying your bills. Is dick making you feel good? Right? 0:31:22.040 --> 0:31:24.320 That come with all of these other problems, and you 0:31:24.440 --> 0:31:27.240 might endow with some fevers, some apes, and some chills, 0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:30.320 so it's likely worth it. And I'm not saying that 0:31:33.200 --> 0:31:37.360 no it's true because I ain't he making me so 0:31:37.600 --> 0:31:40.240 mad or he's so cute, Like okay, you're gonna he's 0:31:40.280 --> 0:31:44.719 so cute into an incurable STD Like numbers, women are 0:31:44.840 --> 0:31:48.240 five times more likely to catch HIV if they're dealing 0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:51.440 with men that are sleeping with men. There's seventy eight 0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:54.680 percent more likely to have catch sti's if they do 0:31:54.800 --> 0:31:56.760 with a man that'll sleep on men. So it's like 0:31:56.960 --> 0:32:01.480 it's your number, your chances are gonna increase significantly hot. 0:32:01.560 --> 0:32:03.479 So that's always felt them like this is not something 0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:05.440 you kind of want to play with because see me 0:32:05.520 --> 0:32:07.400 as a gay man, I know that these men don't 0:32:07.400 --> 0:32:11.040 get tested because a lot of women will be a 0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:13.800 man and they're never going to get tested together. Their 0:32:13.880 --> 0:32:16.280 man is never getting tested. He's relying on her to 0:32:16.360 --> 0:32:18.960 get tested to tell him if he got something. I 0:32:19.000 --> 0:32:21.320 would a man like that. So that's why I be saying, 0:32:21.400 --> 0:32:23.560 like I think a lot of women be oblivious because 0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:26.120 they're like, it can never be my man. And it's 0:32:26.240 --> 0:32:28.240 like a lot of these men are like that, and 0:32:28.360 --> 0:32:30.280 they think I just be being dramatic. It's like no, 0:32:30.640 --> 0:32:33.200 because even people always say I done had so many 0:32:33.280 --> 0:32:36.640 male friends that were straight. I show me a straight 0:32:36.720 --> 0:32:38.920 man at this point, and I try not to say 0:32:38.960 --> 0:32:43.080 that out loud because I still have some male friends 0:32:43.120 --> 0:32:45.640 that I am presuming or straight that haven't tried to 0:32:45.680 --> 0:32:47.480 house it with me yet. But again, show me a 0:32:47.520 --> 0:32:49.960 straight man, because I don't know man that are one 0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:52.160 hundred percent straight. That's all. When people ask me like, 0:32:52.360 --> 0:32:54.040 what you what is a straight man? 0:32:54.160 --> 0:32:54.200 Like? 0:32:54.320 --> 0:32:56.480 Tell us who you think is straight? I have to 0:32:56.560 --> 0:32:59.400 think really hard. The only person that almost that has 0:32:59.520 --> 0:33:03.200 me somewhere convinced this Terrence Howard. And I mean because 0:33:03.240 --> 0:33:05.200 of what, you know, what happened recently when they were 0:33:05.200 --> 0:33:06.720 trying to get him to play Marvin Gaye. 0:33:06.920 --> 0:33:08.680 And how do you feel about that? 0:33:10.400 --> 0:33:13.920 I saw, okay, boom, this goes back into the white people. 0:33:14.360 --> 0:33:16.600 Instead of getting a gay man to play Marvin Gaye, 0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:19.200 since you know there's gonna be gay scenes, you want 0:33:19.200 --> 0:33:23.239 to see the fantasy of a straight man, and they 0:33:23.280 --> 0:33:25.640 want to break that straight man down because imagine if 0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:27.560 he kissing a man at doing all of this on screen, 0:33:27.640 --> 0:33:30.000 what is that gonna do to his masculinity or even 0:33:30.080 --> 0:33:33.840 though it's already probably fragile, it's gonna break you're And 0:33:33.920 --> 0:33:36.640 they were just trying to do that because he they 0:33:36.760 --> 0:33:39.240 know that he's straight. Like he said about his empire 0:33:39.360 --> 0:33:41.320 Rold that was really hit like how he felt. And 0:33:41.400 --> 0:33:43.560 I'm not mad at him be homophobic. I mean, I 0:33:43.600 --> 0:33:46.760 don't know, like me, be what you want to be. 0:33:47.080 --> 0:33:49.080 I mean, I think those straight men are going to 0:33:49.120 --> 0:33:51.160 be a little bit homophobic because I mean, I'm sure 0:33:51.160 --> 0:33:53.800 they can't file them the gay shit. I wouldn't expect 0:33:53.840 --> 0:33:56.400 them who they're not gay, So what it is like 0:33:56.520 --> 0:34:00.520 it's ignorance. Ultimately, homophobia is just again some man, like 0:34:00.640 --> 0:34:03.120 it's just ignorance, like they just don't understand that they 0:34:03.160 --> 0:34:05.520 don't and they shouldn't they're not gay. But I feel like, 0:34:06.080 --> 0:34:08.919 again it's always gonna be that those type of things 0:34:08.960 --> 0:34:12.000 that happen, Like think about it every black man, especially 0:34:12.120 --> 0:34:14.040 that we hear about getting into the industry. Oh, I 0:34:14.080 --> 0:34:15.320 had to put on the drift or I had to 0:34:15.360 --> 0:34:16.880 do this, so I had to do that something that 0:34:17.480 --> 0:34:21.120 would compromise their masculinity and that they didn't want to do. 0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:23.239 Like even with will Smill Seven Degrees of Power, he 0:34:23.360 --> 0:34:26.320 was gay at telling that that movie though, because a 0:34:26.400 --> 0:34:29.000 lot of people don't know that movie, so they don't 0:34:29.080 --> 0:34:32.640 know when they when they be forced to do this 0:34:32.719 --> 0:34:35.000 type of stuff and it really beat them though, because 0:34:35.920 --> 0:34:37.400 we don't have to talk on bline because. 0:34:37.200 --> 0:34:41.080 This too is too I'm just saying, but do you 0:34:41.160 --> 0:34:41.759 think he's gay? 0:34:42.680 --> 0:34:47.239 Yes? Are you you? You are you? Are you? 0:34:48.840 --> 0:34:49.080 Have you? 0:34:49.640 --> 0:34:53.120 Okay, it's no ask asked me. I'm saying, like you 0:34:53.320 --> 0:34:54.040 don't have you? 0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:54.920 I mean, do you. 0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:57.800 I don't keep up with him all the way, but 0:34:59.000 --> 0:35:01.160 even from the like the stuff, because when I was 0:35:01.200 --> 0:35:03.160 doing research on him, because you know, people asked me 0:35:03.239 --> 0:35:05.759 to look into people, all of them videos he got 0:35:05.840 --> 0:35:08.960 kissing his son in the mouth done. I was done 0:35:09.000 --> 0:35:12.480 with it, Like all is too much, that movie, all 0:35:12.520 --> 0:35:14.440 in the videos kissing his son in the mouth, all 0:35:14.480 --> 0:35:17.719 of that stuff with August Austina became a little blurry on. 0:35:17.960 --> 0:35:19.160 If August I've seen it was. 0:35:19.160 --> 0:35:22.480 There, I wouldn't know you could. That's not because I 0:35:22.560 --> 0:35:25.920 wasn't expecting August to be gay. That took me. That 0:35:26.040 --> 0:35:29.680 was a wild card. Yeah, I mean I see now 0:35:29.880 --> 0:35:31.960 looking back, but when we first was introduced to him, 0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:34.360 like I don't know, it's just I didn't. 0:35:34.160 --> 0:35:37.719 See it that he's in the industry. Think of like really. 0:35:37.800 --> 0:35:39.040 Everybody in the industry is gay. 0:35:39.320 --> 0:35:40.880 Okay, I want you to tell me somebody in the 0:35:41.000 --> 0:35:42.959 industry that you think is straight, and then we're gonna 0:35:42.960 --> 0:35:45.440 see just just throw out a name that you think 0:35:45.520 --> 0:35:47.360 of a straight man that you think is in the industry. 0:35:49.080 --> 0:35:51.480 Have you I've done a video on him. If you're 0:35:51.480 --> 0:35:53.880 going my YouTube that that's the last person I'm going 0:35:53.960 --> 0:35:55.120 to think it straight. When you look into all of 0:35:55.160 --> 0:35:57.239 this stuff, to all of these other men that that 0:35:57.360 --> 0:36:01.400 football player man that he was living with his perversion, 0:36:02.840 --> 0:36:05.400 he literally feels all of the boxes out to be 0:36:05.440 --> 0:36:07.040 a deal man. And like I said, when you do 0:36:07.080 --> 0:36:09.160 all of your research, I don't think he's straight at all. 0:36:09.360 --> 0:36:12.000 Like I honestly think these type of men that have 0:36:12.040 --> 0:36:13.640 a lot of status of power, he could have never 0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:17.160 kept it without having the woman that everybody essentially wants. 0:36:17.200 --> 0:36:19.759 Let's always say you're gonna have those women that are 0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:23.000 gonna be great beards like and I'm sorry I keep 0:36:23.040 --> 0:36:25.960 saying they like you couldn't have those people. But yeah, 0:36:25.960 --> 0:36:28.239 I think he essentially became a beard because if you 0:36:28.400 --> 0:36:31.279 really pay attention, it was before they were the same 0:36:31.360 --> 0:36:34.760 age almost like underage. Like it's a lot of stuff 0:36:34.800 --> 0:36:37.759 that get kind of Murky there he been around too 0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:40.520 many people, him and Diddy. It's too many connections for me, 0:36:41.040 --> 0:36:43.799 as a person that has too much logic to think 0:36:43.880 --> 0:36:46.160 that all of these things alies. Even if you look 0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:48.560 at some of the old interviews Wendy Williams and all 0:36:48.600 --> 0:36:51.080 of these other people from back in the day, they've 0:36:51.120 --> 0:36:53.800 been saying some of this stuff. It's just nobody was 0:36:53.880 --> 0:36:56.640 really listening. So when I started putting new facts and 0:36:56.719 --> 0:36:58.720 old facts together, it all made sense. 0:37:03.880 --> 0:37:05.600 So who do you think is straight in the industry? 0:37:06.000 --> 0:37:07.360 Who do I think is straight in the industry? I 0:37:07.400 --> 0:37:10.799 don't think nobody's straight because even I'm telling you they're 0:37:10.880 --> 0:37:14.359 not going to Let's just talk about this every man 0:37:14.440 --> 0:37:16.480 that you see in the industry, what is their ultimate 0:37:16.960 --> 0:37:20.839 They're all chasing money, right mm hmm, Okay, who has 0:37:21.600 --> 0:37:23.759 money and power? Who has the money in power? Though? 0:37:24.040 --> 0:37:25.719 Who are they gonna have to go through? Because even 0:37:25.800 --> 0:37:28.319 jay Z, we see that he's over the NFL. He's 0:37:28.400 --> 0:37:31.680 pretty powerful. He can get people out of jail and everything. 0:37:32.200 --> 0:37:34.320 But what just happened to him, he got a little 0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:36.959 bit humbled for a second. To let him know, like, Okay, 0:37:37.000 --> 0:37:40.840 you're not above the program m. That's what I say, like, 0:37:40.960 --> 0:37:43.040 it's always gonna still be a white man at the top. 0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:46.160 No black man is gonna bang the Vanguard family. If 0:37:46.200 --> 0:37:50.279 you look into it's five families that essentially operate all 0:37:50.320 --> 0:37:52.680 of the wealth in the America, and if you look 0:37:52.719 --> 0:37:55.279 at how the thirteen colonies perform from the Europeans and 0:37:55.320 --> 0:37:57.560 all of that, those families then connect back to that, 0:37:57.719 --> 0:38:00.600 like it's country is the shit that will be able 0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:02.640 to get through. Let's always say like they're gonna have 0:38:02.719 --> 0:38:05.919 to go through, and it's never gonna work because those 0:38:06.040 --> 0:38:09.239 white men always they're going to make them do things 0:38:09.320 --> 0:38:10.719 that they might not want to do. 0:38:11.520 --> 0:38:14.840 That's fucking crazy. That's what I believe it though, I 0:38:15.000 --> 0:38:17.279 really do believe. I do believe because even when you 0:38:17.400 --> 0:38:19.480 think of all these people who just can't pop out 0:38:19.520 --> 0:38:22.640 of nowhere and they just like they it and I'm 0:38:22.719 --> 0:38:25.200 just like wow, Like I'm like, Ebane, you can't be 0:38:25.280 --> 0:38:27.080 so hard on yourself because the game is rigged. 0:38:27.719 --> 0:38:30.560 It's rick, thank you, It's rig because you're unless you're 0:38:30.600 --> 0:38:34.280 willing to essentially at this point in the game, unless 0:38:34.440 --> 0:38:36.960 you're willing to be like because I can just tell 0:38:37.040 --> 0:38:40.800 like you're a classy woman, you carry yourself, intelligence and grace. 0:38:41.040 --> 0:38:43.560 They don't like that. They want you to be showing 0:38:43.600 --> 0:38:45.640 these other black women that you need to be shaking 0:38:45.680 --> 0:38:49.200 your eyes and doing that bad so and tell you like, 0:38:49.360 --> 0:38:51.480 and I hate to say, but that's what they want 0:38:51.520 --> 0:38:54.160 the black community. They want women to feel like this. 0:38:54.360 --> 0:38:56.560 I was like the amount of women that be at 0:38:56.600 --> 0:38:59.520 baddies auditions and fighting and ship Now, I was like, 0:38:59.719 --> 0:39:01.719 they want that they got sixty grade and all of 0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:04.040 these other people going to school. They want women to 0:39:04.239 --> 0:39:07.520 think that, especially Black women. That's how y'all are. It 0:39:07.680 --> 0:39:10.360 used to be a time where we would be arguing 0:39:10.480 --> 0:39:12.719 about education. I still argue about stuff like that because 0:39:12.760 --> 0:39:15.040 I'm hardly educated. People are not caring about. 0:39:14.880 --> 0:39:15.680 That now at all. 0:39:16.440 --> 0:39:20.120 You get used to facts the same people for doing 0:39:20.200 --> 0:39:22.840 certain shit, for not being women. 0:39:23.280 --> 0:39:25.480 Yes. So I had a moment and I share this 0:39:25.560 --> 0:39:29.440 with my audience before where I had like experienced extreme 0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:32.280 burned out. And I've been doing this for seven years 0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:34.759 and I'm just like, yo, Like, I feel like like 0:39:34.880 --> 0:39:36.839 my show was fucking good. Like even you were telling 0:39:36.880 --> 0:39:39.279 me like your show comes from a different perspective, You're 0:39:39.280 --> 0:39:41.160 not afraid to talk about things like I feel like 0:39:41.280 --> 0:39:43.040 like we I talk about a lot of different things 0:39:43.080 --> 0:39:45.000 within our community. But you know, obviously I make it fun, 0:39:45.040 --> 0:39:47.239 put the medicine and candy. But I'm like, damn, like 0:39:47.280 --> 0:39:49.200 I feel like I should be further ahead. But I'm like, 0:39:49.560 --> 0:39:51.000 it just feels like I need to be on a 0:39:51.080 --> 0:39:54.600 handstand popping my fucking pussy and shaking my ass because 0:39:54.640 --> 0:39:56.719 I see other people and I know comparisons a thief 0:39:56.760 --> 0:39:58.680 for joy and I'm not comparing myself to anybody, because 0:39:58.880 --> 0:40:01.399 you know, I work really hard, but I'm just like, damn, 0:40:01.440 --> 0:40:02.800 like what do I gotta do to get to the 0:40:02.880 --> 0:40:04.839 next level? Like I feel like I should be having 0:40:04.880 --> 0:40:07.640 all these opportunities, and I just like sometimes I get 0:40:07.719 --> 0:40:10.080 break crumbs and I'm like, yo, it's not fair. 0:40:11.280 --> 0:40:13.800 And that's and that's why I always tell people like 0:40:13.920 --> 0:40:16.800 I try to fight for women because patriarchy, whit like, 0:40:16.880 --> 0:40:21.520 it's so many things that especially Black women are Here's 0:40:21.600 --> 0:40:23.520 so many layers that you have to go through, and 0:40:23.600 --> 0:40:26.120 like you said, you should be further and you've been 0:40:26.160 --> 0:40:28.760 doing this so like I when I was watching your videos, 0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:31.680 I was asking myself why you weren't further either, But 0:40:31.840 --> 0:40:34.279 I already do the answer, because if you just even 0:40:34.320 --> 0:40:37.000 compared to the white woman that came out of nowhere 0:40:37.040 --> 0:40:40.000 that I don't have to stay her name, what the 0:40:40.080 --> 0:40:45.200 fuck is she doing? But guess what, she's more palasable 0:40:45.400 --> 0:40:47.400 for media because, like I always tell people, if you 0:40:47.520 --> 0:40:52.120 look at media, media controls culture and society, so they 0:40:52.239 --> 0:40:54.880 want certain things. So by you being so classy and 0:40:55.200 --> 0:41:00.239 essentially they only want one Tamern Hall. Mm, they want 0:41:00.320 --> 0:41:03.080 one Tameron Hall. Like you see, Jennifer Hudson couldn't be tammering. 0:41:03.120 --> 0:41:05.520 She had to be Jenniferson act so Dixie on her 0:41:05.560 --> 0:41:08.000 show that I don't like it because I mean, I 0:41:08.080 --> 0:41:10.480 always be laughing, but I'm like, this is not Jennifer 0:41:10.520 --> 0:41:13.040 huss Like they donned her down so much for that show. 0:41:13.480 --> 0:41:16.200 That's why I said, as well, because I'm like Jennifer, 0:41:16.680 --> 0:41:17.920 she got to be a little bit more quicker than 0:41:17.960 --> 0:41:18.800 this like he is. 0:41:19.000 --> 0:41:21.960 We've heard her interviews. That's not Jenniferston, that's all. It's 0:41:22.000 --> 0:41:25.239 like literally, but she's working for a company, so you 0:41:25.280 --> 0:41:29.080 know she gotta do what she gotta do right, right child. 0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:31.759 How you ever met a download man who regret the 0:41:31.800 --> 0:41:32.839 way he was living his life? 0:41:34.200 --> 0:41:36.160 A lot of them always say they regretted, Like I 0:41:36.239 --> 0:41:39.879 think a lot of them feel shame at some point 0:41:40.000 --> 0:41:43.440 or another. Why they disassociate from the actions because they 0:41:43.560 --> 0:41:45.960 know that they know that's just wrong. They know. That's 0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:48.680 why even all of the men that I've ever exposed, like, 0:41:49.040 --> 0:41:51.000 they never be mad at me. They always say like, 0:41:51.040 --> 0:41:53.440 I understand because they know, like, did you put me 0:41:53.520 --> 0:41:57.440 through a fucking lot? Yeah, not like that's not an 0:41:57.440 --> 0:41:59.719 easy life. Just always say like, and for me to 0:41:59.760 --> 0:42:02.120 will willingly being it's crazy. That's why I say, like, 0:42:02.239 --> 0:42:05.040 women unwillingly being it and it take you to such 0:42:05.080 --> 0:42:08.520 a low place in life. So that's always I thought, like, Okay, 0:42:08.800 --> 0:42:11.960 I can help people avoid this because by me being 0:42:12.160 --> 0:42:15.200 from a small town and dating after I turned eighteen, 0:42:15.239 --> 0:42:17.400 cause it's always tell people they always like, well, I 0:42:17.560 --> 0:42:19.960 was messing with dollo men in high school, you were fast, 0:42:20.120 --> 0:42:22.200 you were grown. I didn't start dating until I got 0:42:22.239 --> 0:42:25.280 to college. I need to, so it's like I started, 0:42:25.440 --> 0:42:27.279 and that's why people be like, you're too grown for this, 0:42:27.360 --> 0:42:29.400 and it's like, well, bitch, I've only been dating for 0:42:29.480 --> 0:42:32.440 a few years technically, right right, So it's like I'm 0:42:32.480 --> 0:42:34.640 still new to dating. So I had to figure shit 0:42:34.719 --> 0:42:38.000 out and I saw somebody that was probably telling me 0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:40.880 what I'm telling people in a real way and showing 0:42:41.120 --> 0:42:43.479 I probably would have just never even had to figure 0:42:43.520 --> 0:42:45.680 out all of those things from DL man or you know, 0:42:46.160 --> 0:42:48.400 learn that. But I am glad that I had some 0:42:48.520 --> 0:42:51.680 of those experiences because DO men are everywhere. Like when 0:42:51.719 --> 0:42:53.360 I was in college, the dean of students, I'm at 0:42:53.360 --> 0:42:56.080 the dean of students getting told with a girl about 0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.759 a DO man, and the deena students is a DL man, 0:43:00.480 --> 0:43:02.960 which worked in my favorite because he understood what was 0:43:03.040 --> 0:43:05.720 going on because I was going against some sexual harassment. 0:43:05.800 --> 0:43:08.840 I was up against some charges, like criminal charges because 0:43:08.880 --> 0:43:11.640 this girl had thought I was sucking her man, but 0:43:11.760 --> 0:43:13.719 really she was sucking my man, so then she it 0:43:13.880 --> 0:43:17.279 was snowball effect. But luckily and I didn't want to 0:43:17.320 --> 0:43:20.040 expose the dude. But of course once police get involved, 0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:21.240 that you're coming out of the ploset. 0:43:21.480 --> 0:43:23.520 Yeah, because I'm not going down for you niggas. 0:43:25.160 --> 0:43:26.960 That's what we're gonna draw the line. So that's when 0:43:27.000 --> 0:43:29.120 I started telling the truth and I'm like, do I 0:43:29.200 --> 0:43:31.120 need to get the receipts? But he was the ill 0:43:31.239 --> 0:43:34.400 so he understood why I hadn't, you know, told the 0:43:34.440 --> 0:43:36.440 girl the truth and how this situation got where it 0:43:36.520 --> 0:43:38.440 got because I would never tell the girl the truths, 0:43:38.480 --> 0:43:40.560 like we had had to sit down. I essentially just 0:43:40.640 --> 0:43:44.080 told her I didn't know her man. He wasn't her man, 0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:48.360 like he was her old man man. So it's like 0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:51.000 he technically was your man, but he's not your man 0:43:51.080 --> 0:43:53.200 of war. So I didn't think I really owe her that, 0:43:53.320 --> 0:43:55.200 even though in reality, I'm like, had I just went 0:43:55.280 --> 0:43:57.640 ahead and told her the truth, it probably would have 0:43:57.680 --> 0:43:59.799 made the situation better. But then even when she found 0:43:59.840 --> 0:44:02.160 out the truth, she told all of these other people. 0:44:03.360 --> 0:44:04.439 So that's not cool. 0:44:04.960 --> 0:44:07.799 Yeah. So I was like, sometimes anytime I've ever been 0:44:07.840 --> 0:44:08.960 with a d O man and I found out he 0:44:09.000 --> 0:44:10.520 had a woman, I always go to the woman. But 0:44:10.840 --> 0:44:13.440 there has yet to be a woman that was resceptive 0:44:13.600 --> 0:44:15.920 and that didn't turn it into drama trying to fight 0:44:16.200 --> 0:44:18.560 or you know, trying to beef about a man that, 0:44:19.040 --> 0:44:22.960 like I always tell women, if he wants me you, 0:44:23.360 --> 0:44:25.560 there's no competition, just like if you want you, I 0:44:25.600 --> 0:44:29.040 don't see no competition. Like they can't be a woman 0:44:29.160 --> 0:44:33.239 who's like ping us against each other, because they'll do 0:44:33.360 --> 0:44:35.279 that with two women too. They don't care. They just 0:44:35.320 --> 0:44:37.759 don't want them to be in the wrong. They want 0:44:37.800 --> 0:44:40.040 to take all of the attention off them. And how 0:44:40.160 --> 0:44:42.600 people arguing and beefing because that makes them feel good. 0:44:43.000 --> 0:44:44.960 Yeah, how many men would you said that you've been 0:44:45.040 --> 0:44:46.040 with have been a download? 0:44:47.560 --> 0:44:50.759 Oh and let me clarify something. When I say date, 0:44:50.960 --> 0:44:54.840 that does not mean fuck. People can't And I gotta 0:44:54.880 --> 0:44:56.160 say that because a lot of people want to hear 0:44:56.239 --> 0:44:59.800 that you dated a lot of men. They think so 0:45:01.400 --> 0:45:03.400 because I did used to be a sugar baby, So 0:45:03.520 --> 0:45:09.160 I am gonna includ sugar add at least like two 0:45:09.320 --> 0:45:14.759 hundred like on dates personal still have phone numbers. Some 0:45:15.000 --> 0:45:16.799 some of them are in the industry. That's why I say, 0:45:16.880 --> 0:45:21.280 like in Atlanta, I wasn't playing because if some things 0:45:21.320 --> 0:45:24.040 people don't catch on my page. But I had this 0:45:24.200 --> 0:45:27.400 video a woman got on crip like her ex husband 0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:30.360 was like first sugar added when I got there and 0:45:30.440 --> 0:45:33.000 I was, you know, getting into college and shit. So 0:45:33.120 --> 0:45:35.640 that's always say like there's so many people that you 0:45:35.800 --> 0:45:36.920 just would never expect. 0:45:38.120 --> 0:45:42.040 Wow, you about to have me Like these cookies are 0:45:42.120 --> 0:45:42.920 for good baby. 0:45:43.480 --> 0:45:46.040 I mean, but Atlanta is a hot spot for guess 0:45:46.120 --> 0:45:49.320 I mean, yeah, but I do agree like women because 0:45:49.600 --> 0:45:51.600 a lot of these men, especially now that there's trans 0:45:51.680 --> 0:45:55.759 women too, they're gonna play semantics with that. Now, you 0:45:56.000 --> 0:45:58.719 ax man, you ever been with men? No, because he's 0:45:58.920 --> 0:46:02.239 he technically is gonna say no because he's only into 0:46:02.320 --> 0:46:04.880 transforming or he's only dealing with trans women. 0:46:05.000 --> 0:46:10.880 So yeah, are you ever afraid? Like because of the 0:46:10.960 --> 0:46:15.920 work that you're doing, I mean, cause you're popping, you 0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:20.920 got a large following, you know that people feel comfortable 0:46:21.040 --> 0:46:23.600 they don't like Yeah, so like you know, and then 0:46:23.640 --> 0:46:26.440 you're you're cute, you're young, you know, you're building a 0:46:26.560 --> 0:46:29.120 life for yourself. So are you ever afraid for your safety? 0:46:30.680 --> 0:46:33.600 Well, I guess because I mean somebody already tried to 0:46:33.640 --> 0:46:36.120 take my life. But and in general, I will say this, 0:46:37.000 --> 0:46:39.839 any nigga that's ever tried me that got his ass 0:46:39.880 --> 0:46:42.400 to be the only the only way. And niggas notice, 0:46:42.520 --> 0:46:45.680 because I'm not no little nigga. I'm six four, very like, 0:46:45.960 --> 0:46:48.080 I'll beat the fuck out of you. So the only 0:46:48.080 --> 0:46:50.160 way they're gonna if a nigga shoot me. But even 0:46:50.200 --> 0:46:52.040 when they come to shooting, and they can't even shoot, 0:46:52.120 --> 0:46:53.840 like I didn't have to pull out a gun. So 0:46:54.080 --> 0:46:57.040 like that's always feel like people don't realize that if 0:46:57.080 --> 0:46:58.640 you think I'm gonna lay down and let you do 0:46:58.760 --> 0:47:02.239 something to me, you're crazy. And I typically live in 0:47:02.280 --> 0:47:07.040 gated communities like my my home, they can't, so you know, 0:47:07.280 --> 0:47:09.640 I like, I always tell people you're gonna do something 0:47:09.680 --> 0:47:12.279 at the effort, and you're gonna do something. You won't 0:47:12.360 --> 0:47:14.080 catch me in the club. You're not gonna catch me 0:47:14.160 --> 0:47:17.880 at too many spaces that you know. I just you know. 0:47:18.120 --> 0:47:20.440 So I'm like, I really don't be worried. And if 0:47:20.480 --> 0:47:23.520 somebody does something to me behind this information, then that 0:47:23.680 --> 0:47:26.840 might have just been my destiny. That's talking about it. 0:47:26.920 --> 0:47:29.080 I mean, I feel like if because I'm spiritual, so 0:47:29.120 --> 0:47:31.640 I feel like if I've been protected all of this time, 0:47:31.800 --> 0:47:33.680 all of this while throughout my whole life, because a 0:47:33.719 --> 0:47:35.439 lot of shit has happened to me in my life, 0:47:35.520 --> 0:47:37.399 like the d L shit go all the way back 0:47:37.440 --> 0:47:40.200 to childhood. So I feel like if I've been protected 0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:42.239 this long, it's for reason. 0:47:42.440 --> 0:47:44.920 Yeah yeah, listen, I told you. 0:47:46.600 --> 0:47:48.080 Yeah, So that's why I And that's how I be 0:47:48.160 --> 0:47:50.759 feeling like I'm doing because I'm happy about it too. 0:47:50.880 --> 0:47:53.400 Like I like helping people. I like educating people, and 0:47:53.400 --> 0:47:56.880 I'm like, tell, this topic is so important because a 0:47:56.920 --> 0:47:59.600 lot of people either a don't know much and women 0:47:59.640 --> 0:48:00.640 don't be suspecting it. 0:48:01.400 --> 0:48:01.600 Yeah. 0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:04.319 People always like, well, you think every man is del 0:48:04.360 --> 0:48:05.520 or not. I'm sorry to cut you off, but I 0:48:05.640 --> 0:48:08.399 just want I don't think every man is the ill. 0:48:08.719 --> 0:48:10.640 But when people have to realize a lot of these 0:48:10.760 --> 0:48:14.400 men are terrible people. That's why I was like, my process, 0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:18.279 even if your man is not DL by everything that 0:48:18.360 --> 0:48:20.120 I tell you, if he does all of the shit 0:48:20.160 --> 0:48:22.520 that I say, he's the horrible person. So he's at 0:48:22.600 --> 0:48:24.759 quite easily old man. So you shouldn't be with him 0:48:24.800 --> 0:48:28.799 regardless because if he's acting like them, you probably don't. Yeah. 0:48:29.080 --> 0:48:31.200 No, that's a fact. That's a fact. So let's talk 0:48:31.200 --> 0:48:34.600 about some behavioral patterns and personality traits. What are some 0:48:34.719 --> 0:48:37.319 personality traits that you observe and download men? 0:48:37.840 --> 0:48:42.840 Okay, so first narcissism, which again let me let me clarify, 0:48:43.239 --> 0:48:45.719 because I mean a lot of men are narcissistic. So, 0:48:45.840 --> 0:48:48.719 like I always tell women, every DL man is a narcissist, 0:48:48.840 --> 0:48:52.120 but not all narcissists men are deal because to me, 0:48:52.440 --> 0:48:54.719 I mean there's a lot of men that are narcissistic. 0:48:54.840 --> 0:48:57.920 But right after that they have to be misogynistic. And 0:48:58.160 --> 0:49:02.320 like I always tell, women gave me misogyny. Even some 0:49:02.520 --> 0:49:05.440 women have internalizes, so you know misogyny. You know when 0:49:05.480 --> 0:49:07.680 you can tell when a man hates women, he's gonna 0:49:07.680 --> 0:49:10.480 always put them down. He's never gonna have anything good 0:49:10.520 --> 0:49:13.120 to say, he's gonna make hate these generalizations women don't 0:49:13.160 --> 0:49:17.000 want nothing but money from men, or all women ain't shit, 0:49:17.280 --> 0:49:21.520 or you know those type of men. And then impulsivity. 0:49:21.600 --> 0:49:24.560 Those are the top three because the impulses, that's what 0:49:24.640 --> 0:49:26.200 getting them in trouble. A lot of d O men 0:49:27.000 --> 0:49:30.279 they'll not act on their impulses for time periods, but 0:49:30.360 --> 0:49:33.279 they always have that time where they slip and I 0:49:33.520 --> 0:49:35.239 got to go either sleep with a man or a 0:49:35.320 --> 0:49:37.399 trans woman, or you're at a bowpouse, or you're doing 0:49:37.480 --> 0:49:41.000 something solatious and it might be eight months before you 0:49:41.080 --> 0:49:44.719 do something else. But those imposts always come back, and 0:49:44.800 --> 0:49:50.799 they can't control, like control his imposts because being impostive, 0:49:51.520 --> 0:49:55.040 that gets literally that the word in itself, like the 0:49:55.120 --> 0:49:58.520 definition of impostive. So you know that's the big problem 0:49:58.560 --> 0:50:02.040 because they're so indecisive. And again when they want something 0:50:02.080 --> 0:50:07.480 and men usually are just sexual preachers. So I always 0:50:07.520 --> 0:50:10.759 say men pick all of their friends everything. Most men 0:50:11.160 --> 0:50:14.279 do everything based off of attraction. So you got to 0:50:14.280 --> 0:50:17.879 put them in the right circumstances and they'll go yeah. 0:50:18.280 --> 0:50:20.799 And when it comes to the behavioral patterns, I thought 0:50:20.920 --> 0:50:23.520 you you was on point with us, because I agree 0:50:24.000 --> 0:50:27.400 anger is a reflection of self hate. If a nigga's 0:50:27.400 --> 0:50:31.640 always fucking angry something they right, right, or he want. 0:50:31.520 --> 0:50:34.280 That princess treatment, or he's angry because you're not treating 0:50:34.360 --> 0:50:37.440 him like or you know, because I always say, like, 0:50:37.560 --> 0:50:39.640 no straight man is going to sit around and want 0:50:39.680 --> 0:50:43.680 a woman to take care of him. No, No, he's 0:50:43.719 --> 0:50:45.480 not going to be mad that you won't send him 0:50:45.520 --> 0:50:49.680 money for lunch and surprised. Right, So let's always say 0:50:49.760 --> 0:50:53.080 like some of these personalities like that should be obvious. 0:50:53.120 --> 0:50:57.359 But the narcissists, the impulsivity, and the misogyny, because when 0:50:57.360 --> 0:51:00.239 you put all of those things together again, and that 0:51:00.440 --> 0:51:02.840 helps make a dyl man. Because if you hate women, 0:51:03.719 --> 0:51:06.320 you can't control your imposts and you think that the 0:51:06.400 --> 0:51:09.400 world falls around you and that you're invincible. What is 0:51:09.440 --> 0:51:11.160 gonna hold you back from doing whatever you want? 0:51:12.440 --> 0:51:16.799 Well? Child, This concludes part one of this week's episode, 0:51:17.480 --> 0:51:21.160 and y'all, Part two is really where we get into 0:51:21.280 --> 0:51:23.800 some things, so please make sure you subscribe to the 0:51:23.880 --> 0:51:26.239 show so you don't miss it. And also, if you 0:51:26.320 --> 0:51:29.200 think this episode will resonate with someone, please send it 0:51:29.280 --> 0:51:32.920 their way. Okay, spread love, it's the Brooklyn way. And 0:51:32.960 --> 0:51:35.279 if you have any comments, questions, or concerns or you 0:51:35.320 --> 0:51:37.720 want to say hey, gir hey, shoot me an email 0:51:37.800 --> 0:51:41.319 at Hello at the psgpodcast dot com. Y'all, I really 0:51:41.440 --> 0:51:43.720 really hope you enjoyed this week's episode and I cannot 0:51:43.760 --> 0:51:46.480 wait for you all to hear part two. So until 0:51:46.680 --> 0:51:57.279 next time, everyone later. Pretty Private is a production of 0:51:57.320 --> 0:52:01.239 the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcast from iHeartRadio, 0:52:01.640 --> 0:52:05.919 visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen 0:52:05.960 --> 0:52:09.200 to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate 0:52:09.280 --> 0:52:12.160 the show, and you can connect with me on social 0:52:12.239 --> 0:52:14.360 media at Pretty Private Podcasts.