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Speaker 1: Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebine, a space where no

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Speaker 1: question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views

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Speaker 1: shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.

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Speaker 1: From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times

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Speaker 1: don't last, but professional home girls do enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: What's up, y'all? I hope all is cute? Ishagara Ebinez

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Speaker 2: here and welcome back to Pretty Private Now. This week

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Speaker 2: on the show, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting

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Speaker 2: down with DL Whisper, someone who's shed in light on

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Speaker 2: conversations most people are too afraid to have. Now, in

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Speaker 2: part one of our conversations, we dive into his personal

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Speaker 2: journey with DL men and how those experiences led him

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Speaker 2: to create a platform that not only informs, but also

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Speaker 2: challenges the way we think about DL culture, black relationships,

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Speaker 2: and taboo topics within our community. So get ready, because

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Speaker 2: my conversation with d L Whisper starts now. All right,

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Speaker 2: to my guests, thank you so much for being a guest.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty Private. How are you doing. How you feeling?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm feeling great. It's Sunday, it's early, this is

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Speaker 3: my rome time, early in the morning. So I feel great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, shah, he got me recording on a Sunday on

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Speaker 2: the Lord's Day. I said, I know that's right. Well,

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Speaker 2: for those who may not know, I love your work.

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Speaker 2: I discover you on one of my favorite YouTubers, Storm

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Speaker 2: and Row shout out to him, and I was just

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Speaker 2: so intrigued with what you're doing because I feel like

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Speaker 2: you're literally doing God's work and being very informative, very helpful,

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Speaker 2: very insightful, and I can only imagine the flag that

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Speaker 2: you do receive from certain people. But before we start,

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Speaker 2: can you please let people know what is a download men?

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Speaker 3: So a download man is the man that either has

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Speaker 3: been with men, has desires to be women or I

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Speaker 3: mean essentially, either he wants to be with men or

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Speaker 3: he has been with men and he's secretly doing it,

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Speaker 3: but he's keeping this heterosexual identity. So essentially dating women,

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Speaker 3: marrying women, but sleeping with men secretly. That's the cutting

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Speaker 3: draw difference.

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Speaker 2: Right, So would you say there's a difference between a

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Speaker 2: download man and a closet man because I feel like

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Speaker 2: it's a very thin line.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: I just made a video about that because I feel

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Speaker 3: like it's semantics technically, and I hate semantics. So I

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Speaker 3: know people are like, oh, I respect the closeted man,

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Speaker 3: but I'm like, it's technically the same thing. Like the

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Speaker 3: only difference is we assume a closetive man isn't pursuing

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Speaker 3: women and that they're just only pursuing men. But people

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Speaker 3: just don't know about their sexuality. But I don't know

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Speaker 3: many closetive men, because that's the street is gay people

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Speaker 3: with paul it.

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Speaker 2: But exactly That's how I was like, let me ask

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Speaker 2: this question because I feel like the line is very

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Speaker 2: thin between the two.

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Speaker 3: To me, it's the same, but people are Samani, so

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Speaker 3: I just let them they want to use it. Because

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Speaker 3: even the whole gay and by like men are either

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Speaker 3: gay or they're straight. I don't do by like. It's

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Speaker 3: just keep it cut and dry, like I don't like

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Speaker 3: the semantics of it all.

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Speaker 2: We both on all fours.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So, because a lot of people have been asking, like,

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Speaker 3: what's the difference, So I'm just like, I don't really

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Speaker 3: talk about it because there's really no difference because regardless,

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Speaker 3: you're not going to know if a man is if

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Speaker 3: he's sleeping with women, or if you think that he's straight,

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Speaker 3: you're not going to know he's secretly with men, regardless

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Speaker 3: of if he's closeted ordel. So they both do the

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Speaker 3: same thing. It's just one where so mean is not

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Speaker 3: is not affecting women.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so what inspire you to start helping women detect

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Speaker 2: men who identify as or who are downlaw Because I

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Speaker 2: was reading listen to your videos and stuff, and I'm like, wow,

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Speaker 2: like you've been doing this for a very long time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So what originally inspired me, I guess you could

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Speaker 3: say is because Okay, when I like, I always tell

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Speaker 3: people I was never with download men as like you

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Speaker 3: see some people do it for like competition. I guess

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Speaker 3: you could say, I don't approach men, So if a

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Speaker 3: man approached me, I was never going to assume he

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Speaker 3: was download This is where that closeted comes into waiting.

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Speaker 3: I'm assume you're closeted, but then I find out you're

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Speaker 3: into women, and all it is. Now I know that

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Speaker 3: you're download so it makes it a lot different. And

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Speaker 3: I wasn't too privy about the dating, so I didn't

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Speaker 3: look at it as a bad thing. When men told

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Speaker 3: me that they were down load, It's like, okay, that's

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Speaker 3: your sexuality that has nothing to do with me. So

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Speaker 3: by me not really knowing what download was, throughout dating,

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Speaker 3: I you know, I learned what it was, and I

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Speaker 3: learned the way that they moved and like I always

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Speaker 3: tell people, like, there was instances where my life was

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Speaker 3: almost taken, so where my life was almost.

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Speaker 2: Pack yeah, oh wow, So I was listening to that video.

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Speaker 2: We don't have to say the name. But did you

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Speaker 2: try to like confront him or.

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Speaker 3: I tried to leave him actually because I had essentially,

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Speaker 3: you know, after a couple of years, I'm okay, are

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Speaker 3: we getting married? At this point, It's like it's been

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Speaker 3: five years, Like what are we doing yet? What we're doing?

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Speaker 3: So he was like, we're never gonna get married, like

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Speaker 3: his parents were going through a divorce. It was a

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Speaker 3: lot of stuff. So for me, I'm done. But then,

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Speaker 3: you know how it was a month later, it was

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Speaker 3: late at night, we was texting. I let him come over.

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Speaker 3: Shit didn't go how I needed to go, and he

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Speaker 3: couldn't get hard. Like so when he couldn't get hard,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, well, this is a sign from God that

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Speaker 3: we're not even supposed to be right here, right now,

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Speaker 3: right not get hard?

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Speaker 2: Aside from god cha.

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Speaker 3: So I was trying to. I was just telling him like, well,

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Speaker 3: this is a sign, and he just couldn't you know.

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Speaker 3: And then I was growing on social media. So he

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Speaker 3: had built this paranoia in his head that somehow when

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Speaker 3: we are completely done, since I was leaving him, that

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Speaker 3: I was going to go do story times and you know,

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Speaker 3: exposed him, right, I told him after five years, don't

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Speaker 3: you think after so many things that had happened, if

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Speaker 3: I was going to expose you, I would have done that.

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Speaker 3: But see that's when I realized like their paranoia had

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Speaker 3: it had nothing to do what they had with him

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Speaker 3: thinking that his secret could even be exposed because I

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Speaker 3: knew his secret, and not with you because usually you

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Speaker 3: don't see gay me and leaving the DL man. So

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Speaker 3: even me doing that was like a big like oh wow,

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Speaker 3: like you're leaving me, Like yo, like I'm done I started.

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Speaker 2: So how did it end.

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Speaker 3: With all of that? Like he tried to you know,

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Speaker 3: kill me. He ended up going to jail. I ended

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Speaker 3: up exposing him against the police wishes, and then I

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Speaker 3: got dogs. Then that that was the end. I never

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Speaker 3: saw him again. We had one conversation since besides him

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Speaker 3: boxing me. But that was it because once we get

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Speaker 3: physical and then, like I know people when they hear like, oh,

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Speaker 3: he tried to save my life, like I'm not playing

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Speaker 3: like when I take knives, candles biting, like just none

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Speaker 3: stopped fighting for like thirty minutes. And if you're from

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Speaker 3: Atlanta or you living, it's taking Atlanta police forever to

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Speaker 3: get somewhere, like if I want to if I like

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Speaker 3: I always tell people, if I couldn't have defended myself,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't even be And when the police got there,

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Speaker 3: they're like, don't expose him, like you don't know what

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Speaker 3: that's gonna do to his mental life.

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Speaker 2: Well, the police was encouraging not to expose him.

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Speaker 3: Yo, They was encouraging me to essentially allow him to

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Speaker 3: do all of which he did to me because they

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Speaker 3: only took him to jail because I pressed the issue,

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Speaker 3: Like they weren't even gonna take him to jail. He

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Speaker 3: was driving with no license, DUIs all of this. Then

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Speaker 3: they didn't give a vote. He had stole my wallet,

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Speaker 3: my iPad, all of this, Like they're arresting him and

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Speaker 3: they're taking out all of my shit and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: because they thought I was lying, they didn't believe. From

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Speaker 3: that point, I was like, okay, because I had never

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Speaker 3: been in a situation with the police and a deal man.

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Speaker 3: And then I realized like this wasn't what I thought. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then that's when I'm like, okay. Even as far

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Speaker 3: as the women, like, you know, I had a dal

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Speaker 3: gut that I was talking to me and his baby

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Speaker 3: mamas kept getting in to it and stuff. So I

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Speaker 3: was like, you know, for me, I wanted to help

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Speaker 3: women because I was, like I said, I was a

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Speaker 3: little bit younger, so I was more so deefing with them,

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Speaker 3: like we're going back and forth. Whereas like I always

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Speaker 3: tell the DL dudes now because I still talk to

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Speaker 3: some of them just you know, because meh, but I'll

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Speaker 3: be letting them know I should have went against you,

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Speaker 3: not have been beefing with women. Even though women were

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Speaker 3: beefing with me, like they were approaching me, but I

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Speaker 3: still should have thought, like, maybe I should team up

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Speaker 3: with them because the man.

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Speaker 2: Is been their own because essentially he's playing us.

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Speaker 3: Both, thank you, And it wasn't that's always I didn't

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Speaker 3: be with so many women about men that well they

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Speaker 3: beef with me. But it's the fact that people be

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Speaker 3: surprised because they'll think that when women hear that their

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Speaker 3: man is ll that that's it. And it's like, you know,

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Speaker 3: a lot of them don't leave. They'll just just like

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Speaker 3: they'll be for the women they're gonna be with that

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Speaker 3: gay boy.

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Speaker 2: Which I am so surprised that in twenty twenty five

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Speaker 2: we are still going through this. I know, like, it's

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Speaker 2: very shocking to me.

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Speaker 3: I'll see why though, why they want somebody people don't

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Speaker 3: know how to go. And I was like that too,

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Speaker 3: So I was willing to accept literally anything, because like

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Speaker 3: I always tell my family, like it played into how

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Speaker 3: I was raised. Let's always tell people how people are

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Speaker 3: raised playing such a big part in who they become.

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Speaker 3: So once I started going to therapy and realizing a

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Speaker 3: lot of my toxic traits, that that made me not

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Speaker 3: even going to be with del man because it made

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Speaker 3: me realize, like their whole existence is a lot, it's

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Speaker 3: a lot like there there, everything is victimalized. And then

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Speaker 3: once I saw when I came to everybody with what

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Speaker 3: happened to me, and I saw everybody's reaction, I was

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Speaker 3: just like a little shocked because people didn't have sympathy,

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Speaker 3: not that I wanted it, but it was like he

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Speaker 3: became the victim. Mm. They become the victims. And I'm

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Speaker 3: just like, are people like I understand it's not okay

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Speaker 3: to expose somebody's sexuality, but the things that.

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Speaker 2: They do but also don't force my hand.

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Speaker 3: That's why I say, like, if you would have never

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Speaker 3: attacked me, you would have never got exposed. And then

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Speaker 3: from there when somebody tried to save your life, and

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Speaker 3: that's the serious matter. So like I always tell people,

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Speaker 3: I should have got off social media, but I had

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Speaker 3: my mental breakdown that I was gonna have regardless, I

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Speaker 3: had it on social media, which is how all of

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Speaker 3: these other men got exposed because I was pierced, like

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Speaker 3: you know, because some of them were reaching out blaming

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Speaker 3: me too. So I'm just like everybody blaming me for

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Speaker 3: actions that somebody else done. Like at the end of

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Speaker 3: the day, I can't make somebody attack me and try

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Speaker 3: to kill me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And how were you raised? Cause I think you

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Speaker 2: make that's a really good point. I always say that

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Speaker 2: childhood makes a break your adulthood.

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Speaker 3: So I was raised like split like when I was

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Speaker 3: with my mother, very toxic, but when I was with

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Speaker 3: my great grandmother, very Christian, very like I feel like

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Speaker 3: I contribute most of my personality and the good part

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Speaker 3: sent me to my great grandmother.

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Speaker 2: But my mom always have an old soul.

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Speaker 3: They're like, I'm always toxic. So that's always tell people

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Speaker 3: like that toxicness is in there because me, my mom

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Speaker 3: was very, very toxic. And like I always tell people,

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Speaker 3: it was this one do dude, and he the one

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Speaker 3: who made me even realize to start self reflecting it

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Speaker 3: because he wasn't a bad person, and I guess you

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Speaker 3: don't say he was posted, but you know, I kind

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Speaker 3: of treated him terribly and that was the first time

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Speaker 3: I ever got cut off by anybody. So it made

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Speaker 3: me start reflecting that. I realized, like, the way that

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Speaker 3: you're treating people, this is not love. But I thought

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Speaker 3: it was love because like like I said, oh, people

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Speaker 3: on from you'll get cussed out, be everything, and then

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Speaker 3: you're okay. Yeah, you'll fight because scream, say some of

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Speaker 3: the most hateful ship and then you're okay.

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Speaker 2: But that's how that's how I grew up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's toxic, right some people. I was with

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Speaker 3: a man that had never got cussed out, his mama,

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Speaker 3: had never coasted to him, so when I'm cussing him out,

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Speaker 3: calling him all types of bitches and he couldn't take it, and.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, who are you talking to to me?

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Speaker 3: This just to love? Like I mean, when you get mad,

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Speaker 3: you say ship sometimes that I had to realize that's

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Speaker 3: that's not love, you know, so that's always say like

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Speaker 3: it was a combination. That's why I never I'm not

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Speaker 3: mad at THEO man because they helped me likelearn a

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Speaker 3: lot about myself in the world in general. Because I

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Speaker 3: know we can't say no names, but maybe when we're

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Speaker 3: not recording, I'll tell you some stories. But the amount

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Speaker 3: of men that are DL is crazy celebrity wise. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, And people always think I'm like, I like Atlanta.

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Speaker 3: Now that's how I said, I'll tell you so we'll

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Speaker 3: talk about that after. But yo, that's why I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I had TV shows in college all of this, so

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Speaker 3: the DM thing has always been something that you know,

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Speaker 3: I've been you know, kind of trying to help people

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Speaker 3: with because with the TV shows that was going to

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Speaker 3: help people, but a DL man stopped. So, you know,

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Speaker 3: so when I realized, like, Okay, I don't really need

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Speaker 3: a TV show or I don't need other platforms or

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Speaker 3: other people to help me spread this information. I can

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Speaker 3: just literally record a video. So once I really got

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Speaker 3: into that and I finally decided like I didn't care

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Speaker 3: what my job thought because I've always worked in public education,

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Speaker 3: so you know, working at it.

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Speaker 2: You definitely give me educated like you pull out them

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Speaker 2: notes and you get to teach it. I just know

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Speaker 2: that's right.

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Speaker 3: But you know this one because this is part of

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Speaker 3: why I off my job because this is too controversial.

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Speaker 3: Yeah I knew that's why I wasn't associating my name

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Speaker 3: with it, but once I got thoughts again and people

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Speaker 3: associated it to my name, I didn't really have a choice,

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Speaker 3: so yeah, I go with it. And that's why I

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Speaker 3: was like, for me, it just made me realize, like,

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Speaker 3: this is what I'm supposed to be doing because this

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Speaker 3: had nothing. I was the best at my job. Nobody

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Speaker 3: else could do financial head and still can't do it

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Speaker 3: how I do it. But it's the fact that this

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Speaker 3: right here me helping women. And think about it, I

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Speaker 3: worked with all black women managed by black women, and

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Speaker 3: they were the ones who got rid of me because

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Speaker 3: of this type of content. And I'm just like you

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Speaker 3: would have thought they would have been more appreciative because

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Speaker 3: I'm literally just trying to help women in.

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Speaker 2: General, and what does this have to do with mine?

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Speaker 2: Nine to five?

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Speaker 3: Right? Well, they said they didn't want this to reflect

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Speaker 3: on them, because again it makes sense like people coming

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Speaker 3: up at the school, like, you know, they I got it.

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Speaker 3: That's why I was like for a long time, I

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Speaker 3: didn't really help women publicly, like I've always helped my friends.

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Speaker 3: Like if they send me a dude, do you think

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Speaker 3: he gave, I'm gonna let them know, Like you baby

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Speaker 3: daddy doing some questionable stuff, I'm gonna let you know

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Speaker 3: like I've always That's why I say, like, essentially now

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Speaker 3: I'm just giving women on the internet the same advice

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Speaker 3: that I give women in my everyday life, like my

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Speaker 3: best friends, than my acquaintances and just women because I mean,

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Speaker 3: like I always say, I've never been the type of

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Speaker 3: gay guy that felt like in competition with women, hated

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Speaker 3: women because for me, you know, I was about to say,

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Speaker 3: because it's a lot of women that feel like they

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Speaker 3: go through that, but I'm like, I know that only

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Speaker 3: man and I know that you're a woman. If a

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Speaker 3: man he doesn't want me for the reasons that he

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Speaker 3: wants you, so there's no competition. Ever, you're complete different things.

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Speaker 3: So I feel like with knowing that it was never

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Speaker 3: because a lot of gay men have women mentalities where

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Speaker 3: everybody is all competition, Like he didn't weigh everybody in

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Speaker 3: this fight. It's just the one started because I mean,

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Speaker 3: they could never compete with women. But you can't feel

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Speaker 3: with some of them that.

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Speaker 2: What's up, y'all? It's Chagara Embna here and be sure

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Speaker 2: to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty private

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Speaker 2: podcasts and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel

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Speaker 2: at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to the show.

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Speaker 2: Listen quick story time. So I was in Paris, right,

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Speaker 2: I want to go see Beyonce perform, and I met

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Speaker 2: this guy through a friend that was with me, and

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Speaker 2: come to find out he was gay. I feel like

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Speaker 2: this was the Nigga version of me, like for real,

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Speaker 2: like we had such a good time. So it was

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Speaker 2: another guy that we noticed this in the same rooms

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Speaker 2: with us whatever, and I feel like he was like

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Speaker 2: maybe not on the DL but probably just not fully out.

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Speaker 2: And the only reason why I said this is because

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Speaker 2: when he saw me. When I tell you he was

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Speaker 2: staring at me, and I ain't gonna lie. The nigga

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Speaker 2: was fine, So I'm like, is he gay or does

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Speaker 2: he like me? Or you know what I'm saying. So

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Speaker 2: eventually we went to some other spots or whatever, and

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Speaker 2: it was predominantly where you know the girls was at.

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Speaker 2: And I see him with a nigga, so I'm like,

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Speaker 2: and he saw me, so I can tell he got

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Speaker 2: a little uncomfortable. But I was like, no, I'd be

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Speaker 2: cool to snap because I'm like, shit, everybody want this

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Speaker 2: nigga because he was fine. And so I was telling

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Speaker 2: my homeboy and he was like, because the guy ended

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Speaker 2: up following me on Instagram, so I follow him back whatever,

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Speaker 2: and I was telling my homeboy. He was like, well

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Speaker 2: send me his page, and he's like I made the

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Speaker 2: best bitch win. And I was like, child, But it's

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Speaker 2: so true what you're saying that, like a lot of

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Speaker 2: these men, like I could just tell how tense he got,

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Speaker 2: like every time he would see me with our mutual friends,

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Speaker 2: like he would not be comfortable. But when I walk

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Speaker 2: away and I watch him from like, you know, him

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Speaker 2: not knowing, I'm like, look at this nigga. I'm like boy,

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Speaker 2: just be cray. It's twenty twenty.

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Speaker 3: Five and it's all in there here for the most part.

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Speaker 3: That's what they don't get. They think everybody is just

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Speaker 3: judging them, which a lot of them know that. Now

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Speaker 3: a lot of them also know a woman isn't going

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Speaker 3: to want them if she knows that he's in man,

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Speaker 3: So a lot of them have an attraction for women.

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Speaker 3: Like I mean, listen, I like, I always tell people

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be with a woman, but I can look

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Speaker 3: at a woman and find a woman attractor. So they

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Speaker 3: are going to be men that are going to go

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Speaker 3: further than that, and they still might not want to

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Speaker 3: be with a woman. And some dl men actually wants

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Speaker 3: to be with women, but they just have these secret

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Speaker 3: little kinks for men. So that's always kind of got

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Speaker 3: to know where you're at with a man, because I mean,

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Speaker 3: is any man in straights? I think that's kind of

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Speaker 3: like a defect at this point. If a man is straight,

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Speaker 3: it's defective because we're are the straight men well maybe

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Speaker 3: not online. Let me be clear, there are straight men

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Speaker 3: very small it's the very small percentage.

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Speaker 2: Because I can find no man child or no man

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Speaker 2: ain't found me. Would you make a good point because

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Speaker 2: I had a conversation with this with one of my

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Speaker 2: other guests and her stories with finding out that her

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Speaker 2: husband was on the d L and I think he

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Speaker 2: had as and she lived in Atlanta, right, and she

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Speaker 2: was saying how she don't believe that no man is straight.

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Speaker 3: Well in Atlanta, Now that's one of the capitals. If

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Speaker 3: you're in Houston, Atlanta, New York, Miami, New York.

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Speaker 2: I'm in New York.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I hope you're not in like none of the Burroughs.

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Speaker 3: They're none of the Burrows.

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Speaker 2: No, you think all of them.

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Speaker 3: Gay, don't and don't let them be Puerto Rican.

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Speaker 2: Come on, I know about the poppies now.

390
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Speaker 3: But listen, who do you think like the poppies? The niggas?

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Speaker 3: The niggas? I know, that's all. I'm like. If it's

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Speaker 3: a bunch of them, and it's a bunch of niggas somewhere,

393
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Speaker 3: you gotta start watching. That's why I told women about

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Speaker 3: the app store going because I mean, at this point,

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Speaker 3: these DM men are so lazy that of course they're

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Speaker 3: going to go to an app and just get on

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Speaker 3: here person two hundred feet away, Bratlorer, It's easy so.

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Speaker 2: You didn't think that the white man's where is that

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Speaker 2: I really want to be with a nigga.

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Speaker 3: But I think you'll have more transparency with a white man.

401
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,200
Speaker 3: But I think I always tell women like I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: at this point in time, I would not put all

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Speaker 3: of my eggs and especially one basket. But especially not

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Speaker 3: just black men, you know, because I think that the

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00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 3: amount of Black men that have not been conquered by

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Speaker 3: white supremacy and all of the other bullshit that has

407
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Speaker 3: been thrown at our community, I think that they're already

408
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Speaker 3: taken for starters, and it's such a small number that

409
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Speaker 3: you're gonna be picking for needles in a haystack. So

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Speaker 3: it's like open it up because a lot of other

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Speaker 3: men will appreciate. I mean, I think in general, a

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Speaker 3: straight man isn't gonna be so concerned about race. But

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Speaker 3: they're also not gonna be self hating. So let's make

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Speaker 3: that clear. Because it's like always look people about intiracial dating.

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Speaker 3: You just top to weed out those people, Like if

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Speaker 3: you meet a black man that doesn't tate black women,

417
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Speaker 3: big red flag. If you meet a white yeah, black

418
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Speaker 3: think you you came from somebody. But how can you

419
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 3: not like self hating people. That's the prerecordit for a

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Speaker 3: man to be deals. So as long as you're those men,

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Speaker 3: a white man that oh I don't date white women,

422
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Speaker 3: I only want black women. Okay, so you have a fetish, Okay, cool,

423
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 3: if you're cool with being a fetish. Let's always tell

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00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 3: people just know what you're getting yourself into when you're

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Speaker 3: dating certain ethnic groups, because you have to know.

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Speaker 2: How that's a fact. Do you think that some of

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Speaker 2: these men are addicted to living a double life?

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Speaker 3: Are they addicted or can they just get away with

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Speaker 3: it easily? I'm not even gonna. I do think some

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Speaker 3: of them are, but I think it's more so I

431
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 3: ain't and I don't give them no excuses. But it's

432
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 3: like a society thing because even though, like I tell people,

433
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:49,160
Speaker 3: I know plenty of people like sports players, let's let's

434
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 3: do sports specifically that if the world was to find

435
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 3: out there dyl they're off of the team, like they

436
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,880
Speaker 3: will never play again if it's confirmed. Now, if it's

437
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 3: just a rumor and it's no proof or nothing there,

438
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 3: but I feel like society just do it does demonize

439
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 3: people that are not straight in certain positions. So let's

440
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 3: always stay like, you have to know what type of

441
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 3: man you're dating. If you're dating a man that like,

442
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 3: if you're dating a coach, I coaches need a wife

443
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 3: and kids to make that whole esthetic work, like you know,

444
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 3: the image work. So you have to know which type

445
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 3: of man. Like when you're in these music industries, podcast,

446
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,199
Speaker 3: anything with fine arts or the media, you need a

447
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 3: lot of men that are gonna need beards. They're gonna know.

448
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 2: That's so crazy that you said that. Because one of

449
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 2: my homeboys, he works in the industry, and he was like, girl,

450
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 2: he said, you ain't gonna get no man in this industry.

451
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 2: He was like, in you and media, he said, either

452
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 2: they gay or horse. He was like, you're not gonna

453
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 2: find anybody. And I was like, for real, he was like,

454
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,159
Speaker 2: and that's who was telling me, Like, you might as

455
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 2: well just get your white man I see you, or

456
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 2: get a other Indian man. He was like, because you

457
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: ain't gonna get no nigga. All these niggas are either

458
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: gay or they nasty.

459
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: Because, especially for black men, because we are the apendey

460
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 3: of masculinity, a lot of them when they're getting to

461
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 3: these heights they have they're having and I hate to

462
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 3: bring race into it, but I have to. They're having

463
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 3: to go through these white men that are going to

464
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 3: make them do things that are humiliating, the meaning that

465
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 3: makes them hate themselves because the whole, the whole objective

466
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 3: is for black men, especially to not feel good about themselves,

467
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:21,239
Speaker 3: like all of this. Look what that repression is like.

468
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 3: Look how you always see where the athlete gets with

469
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 3: that white woman and then look what always end up happening.

470
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, but back to slavery. That's how they used to

471
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 2: break the household down. They break the man down. Right,

472
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 2: Come on, now, one thing about professional homegirls. We know something.

473
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 2: Now you break the man down, and once he break

474
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 2: the man down, then everybody else in the household follows

475
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 2: because the man is ahead of the household. And once

476
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 2: you take that from a man, his dignity, that's it.

477
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 3: And see this is and this is the good part

478
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: black women. It didn't work on black women because I

479
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 3: feel like they what happened. It worked on black men,

480
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 3: But it made black women stronger. Let's always tell black women, like,

481
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 3: when you're here some why they call it you stronger,

482
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 3: that those are used to make you think that you

483
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 3: being stronger, independent is bad, but you had to be

484
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 3: because you couldn't depend on your men facts. They didn't

485
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 3: want you to. They didn't want you all to be

486
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 3: stronger independent. But I'm like, that's what's holding the black community. Oh,

487
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,479
Speaker 3: it's black women. Like if black women had been conquered

488
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 3: by men, or they let black men conquer them, the

489
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 3: whole Black community is going to be done. It's not

490
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 3: standing on black men. Like, think about any time there's

491
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 3: a political movement, who's at the forefront black men or

492
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 3: black women. Anytime there's any anything, anything is women because

493
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,360
Speaker 3: black men are cowards. Yeah, child, when you go back

494
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: to the racism and all of that, that's always tell

495
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 3: people like the dh thing is so much deeper than

496
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: just that, because I was like, even like when we

497
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 3: get into the STDs that they put in this community,

498
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,919
Speaker 3: I was like, everything that they've done to break the

499
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,719
Speaker 3: black community, it's somewhat work, But what they didn't account

500
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 3: for is that it affected their communities too.

501
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 2: It is exactly, and that's when it becomes a problem.

502
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 3: That's when it becomes a problem. And that's why now

503
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 3: it's more so about just elitists, like they don't care

504
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 3: now they always knew that all white people would not

505
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: have the same white supremacy like the elite people of

506
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 3: the society.

507
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: End of time. But then when those white kids start

508
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: doing drugs and getting high and over those opios. Oh,

509
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 2: it was an epidemic. It was a problem.

510
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 3: And that's why I say, I hate to make it

511
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 3: so black and white, but don't get integrated for seventy

512
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 3: five years, so we have to go back to Like

513
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 3: if you go back, so now you're like, I mean,

514
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 3: it started black and white. You were either white or

515
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 3: you were colored or move lot of them. So that's

516
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 3: always so I'm not making it black and white, but

517
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 3: that's where it started because like even with the LGBT,

518
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 3: I don't ever consider myself a part of LGBC because

519
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 3: if you look at how the LGBT community was formed,

520
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 3: it was stormed for white people, so they didn't hate themselves.

521
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 3: Because if you go back, so before we were colonized

522
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 3: African people. Because the men love to bring up Africans

523
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 3: when they want to talk about piercings and other girly

524
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: things that they're doing to beautify they stuff. But if

525
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 3: you go back and really study, all African cultures had

526
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 3: to or they felt like their people were too spirited

527
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 3: where they had a male spirit, woman's spirit, Like sexuality

528
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: wasn't a thing. I was like white people started putting

529
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 3: everything into categories and everything, like think about it, like

530
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 3: if we would have never been colonized, it would be

531
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 3: no straight, gay or whatever. People just were people. Yeah.

532
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you also mentioned in one of your

533
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 2: videos that you felt like the community wasn't really fucking

534
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 2: with you.

535
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 3: They don't.

536
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 2: Oh they still don't.

537
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 3: Why is that using about the gay community, right?

538
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah?

539
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 3: Or the LB because they don't like to hear the truth.

540
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 3: Like as you can see, like I'm not I'm not

541
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 3: gonna say get things about people. I'm gonna just speak

542
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 3: the truth. And they try to disconnect the DL men

543
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 3: from the community, and like I always tell them, like

544
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 3: DL men are literally just gay men. So I know

545
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 3: people love to say, well they're making gay men look bad.

546
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 3: Well this is where gay men need to say accountablit. See.

547
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 3: That's why I honestly thought when I started this whole process,

548
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, there's gonna be so many other people

549
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 3: that are gonna come in and add their information.

550
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: This was not that.

551
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so much negative from and from like

552
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 3: the trans community, the gay community, the bay community, or

553
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 3: the buy community really don't count because they're so small.

554
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 3: I don't even think it's no openly by men. Yeah yeah,

555
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 3: but yeah. So they were just upset because they felt

556
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 3: like a lot of them did tell me like they

557
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 3: felt like I was holding up a mirror and they

558
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 3: didn't like seeing essentially themselves and some people it was

559
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 3: just traumatic, and I get it. It's a traumatic experience,

560
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 3: like for women, it's a traumatic experience for some gay men.

561
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 3: Like it's tru that's always say like DM, men don't

562
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 3: help anybody but themselves. So that's why I was confused

563
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 3: on like everybody teamed up against me because they don't

564
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 3: help nobody. Like I've never heard somebody say a do

565
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 3: man came into their life and brought them so much joy?

566
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 3: Have you? I like that?

567
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 2: That's so funny.

568
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: Yo.

569
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 2: One thing about this podcast, I didn't have so many

570
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: different conversations because another woman who I was talking to,

571
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 2: we were talking about her journey with her being promiscuous,

572
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: and she were talking about the down low men and

573
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 2: she was saying how she was at a party with

574
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 2: her homeboy and her homeboy saw her friend with a

575
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,479
Speaker 2: nigga at Homebo was like, I know that nigga from somewhere,

576
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 2: I don't know where. You already smil him. So she

577
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 2: was like, well, how you know him? Because he had

578
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 2: just got out of jail. Come to find out, the

579
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 2: nigga was fucking with his jail bunkie and he was like.

580
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 2: She was like, well, we need to go tell my homegirl.

581
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 2: So he went to go tell her. Homegirl was like, hey, like,

582
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not trying to be mess or anything.

583
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 2: I'm just looking out for you. I just want you

584
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: to know what your man been doing when he was

585
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: in jail. And the nigga denied it, and she believed

586
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: her man obviously, but then until the jail monkey had

587
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: called him and stepped to her like a woman, and

588
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 2: she still didn't believe it. And I'm like, girl, you

589
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 2: cannot want a man some people.

590
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 3: I'm telling you some people like literally, because you know,

591
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 3: I helped women too, so I talked to so many women.

592
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, some women want a man that bad,

593
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 3: like to the point that I mean it ain't even

594
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 3: have to getting to know too much. But like I

595
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 3: always say, these dal men are perverted, they're dding. So

596
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 3: some women will let's just say put others at risk

597
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 3: to keep these men, like maybe their kids. And so

598
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 3: because you know, like I said, I don't want to

599
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: trigger nobody, but so let's always say like some women

600
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 3: will do a lot to keep a man.

601
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 2: Is that particular story you're thinking about.

602
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, But because this this one girl I was talking

603
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 3: to essentially her man, who already she was calling me

604
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 3: to ask, you know, is he deal, et cetera. But

605
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 3: when we started getting into it, and she was just

606
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 3: telling me some instances where you know, he's naked and

607
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 3: hard in front of her daughters and he's picking the

608
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 3: kids up hard and they're naked and just a whole

609
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 3: whole lot of nickedness and weird, you know. But she

610
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 3: was saying that he was telling her, well, me and

611
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 3: my dad done this pretty much my whole life. And

612
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 3: I was just I was just like, you see him

613
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 3: and his dad done it their whole life. He doesn't,

614
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 3: he doesn't see it's something wrong here. And that's all

615
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 3: I was Like a lot of men that urdl have

616
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 3: been touched and they haven't talked about it. I mean

617
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 3: not to say that that's gonna make somebody be d ill,

618
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 3: but I think a lot of men have went through

619
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 3: some type of assault that they just don't talk about

620
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 3: because they don't think that even if it's a woman

621
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 3: that has done it, they don't want to talk about it.

622
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 3: Let's always say like when she was telling me that,

623
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 3: and I hear a lot of perverted stories that involve

624
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 3: kids or animals, and like that for me be red

625
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 3: flags like animal. Yeah, like this girl, her Man she

626
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: was doing something with horses, like she was a horse

627
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 3: rider or you know whatever they do, whatever you call it.

628
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 3: Dis her Man made her stop working with the horses

629
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 3: because he thought she would fuck a horse. And I

630
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 3: was just like, girl the beast reality, the fact that

631
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 3: he even got that thought in his mind, the fact

632
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 3: that he really pushed the issue, that's serious to make

633
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 3: you start working horses. I was like, something's off there

634
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 3: with him. She still wants him, he doesn't really.

635
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 2: Want her horse.

636
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 3: The thing is, she flew all the way from Norway

637
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 3: to America. He showed me some pictures. I was like,

638
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 3: you could do so much better than him. I was like, listen,

639
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 3: you don't know how white supremacy and how white man.

640
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: I was like, you over here worried about this white man.

641
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 3: That's the red neck and a trailer park that's doing

642
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 3: melting fettermines with his dad, thinking you're gonna fuck a

643
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 3: horse like I was just like, girl, you should have

644
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 3: stayed in Norway. I'm like, you could have had any

645
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 3: white man. And this is what you think is like

646
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 3: you know, I'm like, yo, you don't know the culture.

647
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 3: And that's always telling people know the culture. She was like,

648
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 3: I don't like Norwegian guys. Like okay, I'm like, I still.

649
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 2: You stillhead, thank you?

650
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 3: She was like, well his body like who can but.

651
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 2: See, this is why we gotta hold our sisters accountable,

652
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 2: because it's like, come on, girl, you you can't be

653
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 2: this fucking slow. Like I'm not I don't never judge anybody,

654
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: but sometimes i'd be like, girl, yeah.

655
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 3: It's right now. I hear a lot of women that

656
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 3: be thinking just because the man got a big dick

657
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 3: that somehow that's supposed to mean something. It's like, it's

658
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: dick paying your bills. Is dick making you feel good? Right?

659
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 3: That come with all of these other problems, and you

660
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 3: might endow with some fevers, some apes, and some chills,

661
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 3: so it's likely worth it. And I'm not saying that

662
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 3: no it's true because I ain't he making me so

663
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 3: mad or he's so cute, Like okay, you're gonna he's

664
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,719
Speaker 3: so cute into an incurable STD Like numbers, women are

665
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 3: five times more likely to catch HIV if they're dealing

666
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 3: with men that are sleeping with men. There's seventy eight

667
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 3: percent more likely to have catch sti's if they do

668
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 3: with a man that'll sleep on men. So it's like

669
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 3: it's your number, your chances are gonna increase significantly hot.

670
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,479
Speaker 3: So that's always felt them like this is not something

671
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 3: you kind of want to play with because see me

672
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 3: as a gay man, I know that these men don't

673
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 3: get tested because a lot of women will be a

674
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: man and they're never going to get tested together. Their

675
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 3: man is never getting tested. He's relying on her to

676
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 3: get tested to tell him if he got something. I

677
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 3: would a man like that. So that's why I be saying,

678
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 3: like I think a lot of women be oblivious because

679
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 3: they're like, it can never be my man. And it's

680
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 3: like a lot of these men are like that, and

681
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: they think I just be being dramatic. It's like no,

682
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 3: because even people always say I done had so many

683
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 3: male friends that were straight. I show me a straight

684
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 3: man at this point, and I try not to say

685
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 3: that out loud because I still have some male friends

686
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 3: that I am presuming or straight that haven't tried to

687
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 3: house it with me yet. But again, show me a

688
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 3: straight man, because I don't know man that are one

689
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 3: hundred percent straight. That's all. When people ask me like,

690
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 3: what you what is a straight man?

691
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: Like?

692
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 3: Tell us who you think is straight? I have to

693
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 3: think really hard. The only person that almost that has

694
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 3: me somewhere convinced this Terrence Howard. And I mean because

695
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 3: of what, you know, what happened recently when they were

696
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 3: trying to get him to play Marvin Gaye.

697
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 2: And how do you feel about that?

698
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 3: I saw, okay, boom, this goes back into the white people.

699
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 3: Instead of getting a gay man to play Marvin Gaye,

700
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 3: since you know there's gonna be gay scenes, you want

701
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,239
Speaker 3: to see the fantasy of a straight man, and they

702
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: want to break that straight man down because imagine if

703
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 3: he kissing a man at doing all of this on screen,

704
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 3: what is that gonna do to his masculinity or even

705
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 3: though it's already probably fragile, it's gonna break you're And

706
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 3: they were just trying to do that because he they

707
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 3: know that he's straight. Like he said about his empire

708
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 3: Rold that was really hit like how he felt. And

709
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 3: I'm not mad at him be homophobic. I mean, I

710
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 3: don't know, like me, be what you want to be.

711
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 3: I mean, I think those straight men are going to

712
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 3: be a little bit homophobic because I mean, I'm sure

713
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: they can't file them the gay shit. I wouldn't expect

714
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 3: them who they're not gay, So what it is like

715
00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 3: it's ignorance. Ultimately, homophobia is just again some man, like

716
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 3: it's just ignorance, like they just don't understand that they

717
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 3: don't and they shouldn't they're not gay. But I feel like,

718
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,919
Speaker 3: again it's always gonna be that those type of things

719
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 3: that happen, Like think about it every black man, especially

720
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 3: that we hear about getting into the industry. Oh, I

721
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,320
Speaker 3: had to put on the drift or I had to

722
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 3: do this, so I had to do that something that

723
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 3: would compromise their masculinity and that they didn't want to do.

724
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 3: Like even with will Smill Seven Degrees of Power, he

725
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 3: was gay at telling that that movie though, because a

726
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 3: lot of people don't know that movie, so they don't

727
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 3: know when they when they be forced to do this

728
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 3: type of stuff and it really beat them though, because

729
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 3: we don't have to talk on bline because.

730
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: This too is too I'm just saying, but do you

731
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 2: think he's gay?

732
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 3: Yes? Are you you? You are you? Are you?

733
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: Have you?

734
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 3: Okay, it's no ask asked me. I'm saying, like you

735
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 3: don't have you?

736
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: I mean, do you.

737
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 3: I don't keep up with him all the way, but

738
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 3: even from the like the stuff, because when I was

739
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 3: doing research on him, because you know, people asked me

740
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 3: to look into people, all of them videos he got

741
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 3: kissing his son in the mouth done. I was done

742
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 3: with it, Like all is too much, that movie, all

743
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 3: in the videos kissing his son in the mouth, all

744
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 3: of that stuff with August Austina became a little blurry on.

745
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 3: If August I've seen it was.

746
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 2: There, I wouldn't know you could. That's not because I

747
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: wasn't expecting August to be gay. That took me. That

748
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 2: was a wild card. Yeah, I mean I see now

749
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: looking back, but when we first was introduced to him,

750
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 2: like I don't know, it's just I didn't.

751
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 3: See it that he's in the industry. Think of like really.

752
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 2: Everybody in the industry is gay.

753
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 3: Okay, I want you to tell me somebody in the

754
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,959
Speaker 3: industry that you think is straight, and then we're gonna

755
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: see just just throw out a name that you think

756
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 3: of a straight man that you think is in the industry.

757
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 3: Have you I've done a video on him. If you're

758
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 3: going my YouTube that that's the last person I'm going

759
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 3: to think it straight. When you look into all of

760
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 3: this stuff, to all of these other men that that

761
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 3: football player man that he was living with his perversion,

762
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 3: he literally feels all of the boxes out to be

763
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 3: a deal man. And like I said, when you do

764
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 3: all of your research, I don't think he's straight at all.

765
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 3: Like I honestly think these type of men that have

766
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 3: a lot of status of power, he could have never

767
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 3: kept it without having the woman that everybody essentially wants.

768
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 3: Let's always say you're gonna have those women that are

769
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 3: gonna be great beards like and I'm sorry I keep

770
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 3: saying they like you couldn't have those people. But yeah,

771
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 3: I think he essentially became a beard because if you

772
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 3: really pay attention, it was before they were the same

773
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,760
Speaker 3: age almost like underage. Like it's a lot of stuff

774
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 3: that get kind of Murky there he been around too

775
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 3: many people, him and Diddy. It's too many connections for me,

776
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 3: as a person that has too much logic to think

777
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 3: that all of these things alies. Even if you look

778
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 3: at some of the old interviews Wendy Williams and all

779
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 3: of these other people from back in the day, they've

780
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,800
Speaker 3: been saying some of this stuff. It's just nobody was

781
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 3: really listening. So when I started putting new facts and

782
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 3: old facts together, it all made sense.

783
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: So who do you think is straight in the industry?

784
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 3: Who do I think is straight in the industry? I

785
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 3: don't think nobody's straight because even I'm telling you they're

786
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 3: not going to Let's just talk about this every man

787
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 3: that you see in the industry, what is their ultimate

788
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 3: They're all chasing money, right mm hmm, Okay, who has

789
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 3: money and power? Who has the money in power? Though?

790
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: Who are they gonna have to go through? Because even

791
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 3: jay Z, we see that he's over the NFL. He's

792
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 3: pretty powerful. He can get people out of jail and everything.

793
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 3: But what just happened to him, he got a little

794
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,959
Speaker 3: bit humbled for a second. To let him know, like, Okay,

795
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 3: you're not above the program m. That's what I say, like,

796
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 3: it's always gonna still be a white man at the top.

797
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 3: No black man is gonna bang the Vanguard family. If

798
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 3: you look into it's five families that essentially operate all

799
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 3: of the wealth in the America, and if you look

800
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 3: at how the thirteen colonies perform from the Europeans and

801
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 3: all of that, those families then connect back to that,

802
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 3: like it's country is the shit that will be able

803
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 3: to get through. Let's always say like they're gonna have

804
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,919
Speaker 3: to go through, and it's never gonna work because those

805
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 3: white men always they're going to make them do things

806
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 3: that they might not want to do.

807
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy. That's what I believe it though, I

808
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 2: really do believe. I do believe because even when you

809
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 2: think of all these people who just can't pop out

810
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: of nowhere and they just like they it and I'm

811
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: just like wow, Like I'm like, Ebane, you can't be

812
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: so hard on yourself because the game is rigged.

813
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: It's rick, thank you, It's rig because you're unless you're

814
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,280
Speaker 3: willing to essentially at this point in the game, unless

815
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 3: you're willing to be like because I can just tell

816
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,800
Speaker 3: like you're a classy woman, you carry yourself, intelligence and grace.

817
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 3: They don't like that. They want you to be showing

818
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 3: these other black women that you need to be shaking

819
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 3: your eyes and doing that bad so and tell you like,

820
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 3: and I hate to say, but that's what they want

821
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 3: the black community. They want women to feel like this.

822
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 3: I was like the amount of women that be at

823
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 3: baddies auditions and fighting and ship Now, I was like,

824
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 3: they want that they got sixty grade and all of

825
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 3: these other people going to school. They want women to

826
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 3: think that, especially Black women. That's how y'all are. It

827
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 3: used to be a time where we would be arguing

828
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 3: about education. I still argue about stuff like that because

829
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 3: I'm hardly educated. People are not caring about.

830
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 2: That now at all.

831
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 3: You get used to facts the same people for doing

832
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 3: certain shit, for not being women.

833
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 2: Yes. So I had a moment and I share this

834
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 2: with my audience before where I had like experienced extreme

835
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,280
Speaker 2: burned out. And I've been doing this for seven years

836
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, yo, Like, I feel like like

837
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 2: my show was fucking good. Like even you were telling

838
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 2: me like your show comes from a different perspective, You're

839
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 2: not afraid to talk about things like I feel like

840
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 2: like we I talk about a lot of different things

841
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 2: within our community. But you know, obviously I make it fun,

842
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 2: put the medicine and candy. But I'm like, damn, like

843
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 2: I feel like I should be further ahead. But I'm like,

844
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 2: it just feels like I need to be on a

845
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 2: handstand popping my fucking pussy and shaking my ass because

846
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 2: I see other people and I know comparisons a thief

847
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 2: for joy and I'm not comparing myself to anybody, because

848
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 2: you know, I work really hard, but I'm just like, damn,

849
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,800
Speaker 2: like what do I gotta do to get to the

850
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 2: next level? Like I feel like I should be having

851
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 2: all these opportunities, and I just like sometimes I get

852
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: break crumbs and I'm like, yo, it's not fair.

853
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 3: And that's and that's why I always tell people like

854
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 3: I try to fight for women because patriarchy, whit like,

855
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 3: it's so many things that especially Black women are Here's

856
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 3: so many layers that you have to go through, and

857
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 3: like you said, you should be further and you've been

858
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 3: doing this so like I when I was watching your videos,

859
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 3: I was asking myself why you weren't further either, But

860
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 3: I already do the answer, because if you just even

861
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 3: compared to the white woman that came out of nowhere

862
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 3: that I don't have to stay her name, what the

863
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 3: fuck is she doing? But guess what, she's more palasable

864
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 3: for media because, like I always tell people, if you

865
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 3: look at media, media controls culture and society, so they

866
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 3: want certain things. So by you being so classy and

867
00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 3: essentially they only want one Tamern Hall. Mm, they want

868
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 3: one Tameron Hall. Like you see, Jennifer Hudson couldn't be tammering.

869
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 3: She had to be Jenniferson act so Dixie on her

870
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 3: show that I don't like it because I mean, I

871
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 3: always be laughing, but I'm like, this is not Jennifer

872
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 3: huss Like they donned her down so much for that show.

873
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 2: That's why I said, as well, because I'm like Jennifer,

874
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 2: she got to be a little bit more quicker than

875
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:18,800
Speaker 2: this like he is.

876
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 3: We've heard her interviews. That's not Jenniferston, that's all. It's

877
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 3: like literally, but she's working for a company, so you

878
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 3: know she gotta do what she gotta do right, right child.

879
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 2: How you ever met a download man who regret the

880
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 2: way he was living his life?

881
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 3: A lot of them always say they regretted, Like I

882
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 3: think a lot of them feel shame at some point

883
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 3: or another. Why they disassociate from the actions because they

884
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: know that they know that's just wrong. They know. That's

885
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 3: why even all of the men that I've ever exposed, like,

886
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 3: they never be mad at me. They always say like,

887
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 3: I understand because they know, like, did you put me

888
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 3: through a fucking lot? Yeah, not like that's not an

889
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 3: easy life. Just always say like, and for me to

890
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 3: will willingly being it's crazy. That's why I say, like,

891
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 3: women unwillingly being it and it take you to such

892
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: a low place in life. So that's always I thought, like, Okay,

893
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 3: I can help people avoid this because by me being

894
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 3: from a small town and dating after I turned eighteen,

895
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 3: cause it's always tell people they always like, well, I

896
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 3: was messing with dollo men in high school, you were fast,

897
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: you were grown. I didn't start dating until I got

898
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 3: to college. I need to, so it's like I started,

899
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 3: and that's why people be like, you're too grown for this,

900
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 3: and it's like, well, bitch, I've only been dating for

901
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 3: a few years technically, right right, So it's like I'm

902
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 3: still new to dating. So I had to figure shit

903
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 3: out and I saw somebody that was probably telling me

904
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 3: what I'm telling people in a real way and showing

905
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,479
Speaker 3: I probably would have just never even had to figure

906
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 3: out all of those things from DL man or you know,

907
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 3: learn that. But I am glad that I had some

908
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 3: of those experiences because DO men are everywhere. Like when

909
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 3: I was in college, the dean of students, I'm at

910
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 3: the dean of students getting told with a girl about

911
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 3: a DO man, and the deena students is a DL man,

912
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 3: which worked in my favorite because he understood what was

913
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,720
Speaker 3: going on because I was going against some sexual harassment.

914
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 3: I was up against some charges, like criminal charges because

915
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 3: this girl had thought I was sucking her man, but

916
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 3: really she was sucking my man, so then she it

917
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 3: was snowball effect. But luckily and I didn't want to

918
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 3: expose the dude. But of course once police get involved,

919
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,240
Speaker 3: that you're coming out of the ploset.

920
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm not going down for you niggas.

921
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 3: That's what we're gonna draw the line. So that's when

922
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 3: I started telling the truth and I'm like, do I

923
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 3: need to get the receipts? But he was the ill

924
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 3: so he understood why I hadn't, you know, told the

925
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 3: girl the truth and how this situation got where it

926
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 3: got because I would never tell the girl the truths,

927
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 3: like we had had to sit down. I essentially just

928
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 3: told her I didn't know her man. He wasn't her man,

929
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 3: like he was her old man man. So it's like

930
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 3: he technically was your man, but he's not your man

931
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 3: of war. So I didn't think I really owe her that,

932
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 3: even though in reality, I'm like, had I just went

933
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 3: ahead and told her the truth, it probably would have

934
00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: made the situation better. But then even when she found

935
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 3: out the truth, she told all of these other people.

936
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 2: So that's not cool.

937
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I was like, sometimes anytime I've ever been

938
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 3: with a d O man and I found out he

939
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 3: had a woman, I always go to the woman. But

940
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 3: there has yet to be a woman that was resceptive

941
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: and that didn't turn it into drama trying to fight

942
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 3: or you know, trying to beef about a man that,

943
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 3: like I always tell women, if he wants me you,

944
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 3: there's no competition, just like if you want you, I

945
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 3: don't see no competition. Like they can't be a woman

946
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 3: who's like ping us against each other, because they'll do

947
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 3: that with two women too. They don't care. They just

948
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 3: don't want them to be in the wrong. They want

949
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 3: to take all of the attention off them. And how

950
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 3: people arguing and beefing because that makes them feel good.

951
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, how many men would you said that you've been

952
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: with have been a download?

953
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 3: Oh and let me clarify something. When I say date,

954
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 3: that does not mean fuck. People can't And I gotta

955
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 3: say that because a lot of people want to hear

956
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 3: that you dated a lot of men. They think so

957
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 3: because I did used to be a sugar baby, So

958
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 3: I am gonna includ sugar add at least like two

959
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 3: hundred like on dates personal still have phone numbers. Some

960
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 3: some of them are in the industry. That's why I say,

961
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:21,280
Speaker 3: like in Atlanta, I wasn't playing because if some things

962
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 3: people don't catch on my page. But I had this

963
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 3: video a woman got on crip like her ex husband

964
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 3: was like first sugar added when I got there and

965
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 3: I was, you know, getting into college and shit. So

966
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 3: that's always say like there's so many people that you

967
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 3: just would never expect.

968
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 2: Wow, you about to have me Like these cookies are

969
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: for good baby.

970
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 3: I mean, but Atlanta is a hot spot for guess

971
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,320
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, but I do agree like women because

972
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 3: a lot of these men, especially now that there's trans

973
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 3: women too, they're gonna play semantics with that. Now, you

974
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 3: ax man, you ever been with men? No, because he's

975
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 3: he technically is gonna say no because he's only into

976
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 3: transforming or he's only dealing with trans women.

977
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 2: So yeah, are you ever afraid? Like because of the

978
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 2: work that you're doing, I mean, cause you're popping, you

979
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 2: got a large following, you know that people feel comfortable

980
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 2: they don't like Yeah, so like you know, and then

981
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 2: you're you're cute, you're young, you know, you're building a

982
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 2: life for yourself. So are you ever afraid for your safety?

983
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 3: Well, I guess because I mean somebody already tried to

984
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 3: take my life. But and in general, I will say this,

985
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 3: any nigga that's ever tried me that got his ass

986
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 3: to be the only the only way. And niggas notice,

987
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 3: because I'm not no little nigga. I'm six four, very like,

988
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 3: I'll beat the fuck out of you. So the only

989
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 3: way they're gonna if a nigga shoot me. But even

990
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 3: when they come to shooting, and they can't even shoot,

991
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 3: like I didn't have to pull out a gun. So

992
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 3: like that's always feel like people don't realize that if

993
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 3: you think I'm gonna lay down and let you do

994
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 3: something to me, you're crazy. And I typically live in

995
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 3: gated communities like my my home, they can't, so you know,

996
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 3: I like, I always tell people you're gonna do something

997
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 3: at the effort, and you're gonna do something. You won't

998
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 3: catch me in the club. You're not gonna catch me

999
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 3: at too many spaces that you know. I just you know.

1000
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I really don't be worried. And if

1001
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 3: somebody does something to me behind this information, then that

1002
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,840
Speaker 3: might have just been my destiny. That's talking about it.

1003
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like if because I'm spiritual, so

1004
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 3: I feel like if I've been protected all of this time,

1005
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 3: all of this while throughout my whole life, because a

1006
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:35,439
Speaker 3: lot of shit has happened to me in my life,

1007
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,399
Speaker 3: like the d L shit go all the way back

1008
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 3: to childhood. So I feel like if I've been protected

1009
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 3: this long, it's for reason.

1010
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, listen, I told you.

1011
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's why I And that's how I be

1012
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 3: feeling like I'm doing because I'm happy about it too.

1013
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 3: Like I like helping people. I like educating people, and

1014
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, tell, this topic is so important because a

1015
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 3: lot of people either a don't know much and women

1016
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 3: don't be suspecting it.

1017
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1018
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 3: People always like, well, you think every man is del

1019
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 3: or not. I'm sorry to cut you off, but I

1020
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,399
Speaker 3: just want I don't think every man is the ill.

1021
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 3: But when people have to realize a lot of these

1022
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 3: men are terrible people. That's why I was like, my process,

1023
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 3: even if your man is not DL by everything that

1024
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 3: I tell you, if he does all of the shit

1025
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 3: that I say, he's the horrible person. So he's at

1026
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 3: quite easily old man. So you shouldn't be with him

1027
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 3: regardless because if he's acting like them, you probably don't. Yeah.

1028
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: No, that's a fact. That's a fact. So let's talk

1029
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 2: about some behavioral patterns and personality traits. What are some

1030
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 2: personality traits that you observe and download men?

1031
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 3: Okay, so first narcissism, which again let me let me clarify,

1032
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 3: because I mean a lot of men are narcissistic. So,

1033
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 3: like I always tell women, every DL man is a narcissist,

1034
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 3: but not all narcissists men are deal because to me,

1035
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 3: I mean there's a lot of men that are narcissistic.

1036
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 3: But right after that they have to be misogynistic. And

1037
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 3: like I always tell, women gave me misogyny. Even some

1038
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 3: women have internalizes, so you know misogyny. You know when

1039
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 3: you can tell when a man hates women, he's gonna

1040
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 3: always put them down. He's never gonna have anything good

1041
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 3: to say, he's gonna make hate these generalizations women don't

1042
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 3: want nothing but money from men, or all women ain't shit,

1043
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 3: or you know those type of men. And then impulsivity.

1044
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 3: Those are the top three because the impulses, that's what

1045
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 3: getting them in trouble. A lot of d O men

1046
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 3: they'll not act on their impulses for time periods, but

1047
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 3: they always have that time where they slip and I

1048
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:35,239
Speaker 3: got to go either sleep with a man or a

1049
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 3: trans woman, or you're at a bowpouse, or you're doing

1050
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 3: something solatious and it might be eight months before you

1051
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 3: do something else. But those imposts always come back, and

1052
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 3: they can't control, like control his imposts because being impostive,

1053
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 3: that gets literally that the word in itself, like the

1054
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 3: definition of impostive. So you know that's the big problem

1055
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 3: because they're so indecisive. And again when they want something

1056
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 3: and men usually are just sexual preachers. So I always

1057
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 3: say men pick all of their friends everything. Most men

1058
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 3: do everything based off of attraction. So you got to

1059
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,879
Speaker 3: put them in the right circumstances and they'll go yeah.

1060
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 2: And when it comes to the behavioral patterns, I thought

1061
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 2: you you was on point with us, because I agree

1062
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 2: anger is a reflection of self hate. If a nigga's

1063
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 2: always fucking angry something they right, right, or he want.

1064
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,280
Speaker 3: That princess treatment, or he's angry because you're not treating

1065
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 3: him like or you know, because I always say, like,

1066
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 3: no straight man is going to sit around and want

1067
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 3: a woman to take care of him. No, No, he's

1068
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 3: not going to be mad that you won't send him

1069
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 3: money for lunch and surprised. Right, So let's always say

1070
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 3: like some of these personalities like that should be obvious.

1071
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 3: But the narcissists, the impulsivity, and the misogyny, because when

1072
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 3: you put all of those things together again, and that

1073
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 3: helps make a dyl man. Because if you hate women,

1074
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 3: you can't control your imposts and you think that the

1075
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 3: world falls around you and that you're invincible. What is

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00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 3: gonna hold you back from doing whatever you want?

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00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 2: Well? Child, This concludes part one of this week's episode,

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00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 2: and y'all, Part two is really where we get into

1079
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,800
Speaker 2: some things, so please make sure you subscribe to the

1080
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 2: show so you don't miss it. And also, if you

1081
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 2: think this episode will resonate with someone, please send it

1082
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 2: their way. Okay, spread love, it's the Brooklyn way. And

1083
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 2: if you have any comments, questions, or concerns or you

1084
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 2: want to say hey, gir hey, shoot me an email

1085
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 2: at Hello at the psgpodcast dot com. Y'all, I really

1086
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,720
Speaker 2: really hope you enjoyed this week's episode and I cannot

1087
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 2: wait for you all to hear part two. So until

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00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 2: next time, everyone later. Pretty Private is a production of

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00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 2: the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcast from iHeartRadio,

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00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,919
Speaker 2: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen

1091
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 2: to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate

1092
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 2: the show, and you can connect with me on social

1093
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 2: media at Pretty Private Podcasts.