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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend's sister is obsessed with him, and I think

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Speaker 2: it's crossing the line.

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Speaker 3: The lanisers send the agud oh God.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend nineteen male and I twenty female, have been

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Speaker 2: dating for a little over three years now. He has

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Speaker 2: one sister, twenty five female, who I feel is obsessed

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Speaker 2: with him. I was blind to it at the beginning

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Speaker 2: of our relationship, but over the last year it's been

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Speaker 2: showing more and more. And by the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from user throwaway uh zero eight zero three two one,

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Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay story Time subredit. So she

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Speaker 2: calls him repeatedly, five or six times in a row,

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Speaker 2: along with multiple texts. If he doesn't answer immediately, we'll

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Speaker 2: be hanging out with friends or on a date and

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Speaker 2: she'll just do this to see what he's doing. Annoying

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Speaker 2: in any context, doing that to someone, no matter who

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Speaker 2: you are.

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Speaker 4: That's annoying.

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Speaker 3: So you're saying I shouldn't do that to you, Dakota.

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Speaker 4: Don't do that to a single person. Don't do that

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Speaker 4: to anyone.

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Speaker 2: Anytime we go somewhere, she has to know where he's going,

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Speaker 2: what he's doing, who will be with, and what time

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Speaker 2: he'll be home. A couple of weeks ago, she came

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Speaker 2: into his room while we were laying in bed watching

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Speaker 2: a show and called him my love, just to tell

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Speaker 2: him his phone was low on pattery. On another occasion,

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Speaker 2: she sat down and petted his bare chest while.

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Speaker 4: Talking to him, completely unnecessary.

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Speaker 2: She has his location and watched it like a hawk

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Speaker 2: twenty four to seven, sometimes just showing up wherever.

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Speaker 4: We were without warning.

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Speaker 2: The all of the red flags, please, all of them.

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Speaker 2: I need them in this story right now. I have

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Speaker 2: a sister that we occasionally hang out with. When we do,

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend gets texts from his sister or her boyfriend

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Speaker 2: saying things like thanks for cheating on us, or thanks

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Speaker 2: for the invite. She has a boyfriend and she's still

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Speaker 2: treating her.

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Speaker 5: Brother this night. This, this is crazy.

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Speaker 4: Okay, we're gonna keep going really immature stuff.

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Speaker 2: Last Thursday, we were driving home from the store when

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Speaker 2: she and her boyfriend conveniently showed up on the same road.

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Speaker 2: When we ignored them driving next to us, they sped

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Speaker 2: past and she flipped us off out the window. My

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Speaker 2: boyfriend started a new job in April that made him

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Speaker 2: extremely tired, so he doesn't really talk to her or

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Speaker 2: anyone else right now. This made her freak out, thinking

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Speaker 2: he was mad at her. She complained to their mom,

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Speaker 2: who then asked me about it, like I had something

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Speaker 2: to do with it, which I didn't. I've expressed my

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Speaker 2: concerns to my boyfriend and he sees the problem, but

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Speaker 2: has trouble saying anything because she gets over dramatic and

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Speaker 2: freaks out. He recently stopped sharing his location with her,

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Speaker 2: and she pissed about it, constantly requesting access Again.

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Speaker 4: Buddy, the block button exists.

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Speaker 3: There's such thing as codependent. This is beyond that by

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Speaker 3: like one thousand miles.

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Speaker 4: I wonder.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if there's some kind of something that happened

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Speaker 2: like this. Almost sounds like it feels like like a

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Speaker 2: trauma response or like a trauma bond like someone has.

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Speaker 4: It's crazy. That's crazy to me.

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Speaker 3: I think it could also there could be some level

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Speaker 3: of like neurospiciness with the sister, maybe where she is

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Speaker 3: just so like she's grown up with him. She's so

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Speaker 3: dependent on him, she's used to him being like a

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Speaker 3: constant president in her life and just her just the

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Speaker 3: way she's wired, she just can't take that change. It's

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Speaker 3: it's so foreign to her and she's feel like she's

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Speaker 3: losing it in because of the way she's wired. It

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Speaker 3: illicit this response. I'm it's not at all excusing. It help,

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Speaker 3: but that could be something that is prompting this kind

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Speaker 3: of behavior that could.

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Speaker 2: Be on the worth of July, my boyfriend got a

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Speaker 2: little too wasted, so I drove him home. The second

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Speaker 2: we walked in, she ran out of the bathroom to

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Speaker 2: take over caring for him, even though I had it

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Speaker 2: handled and I'm perfectly capable. I feel like she's threatened

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Speaker 2: by me and is low key obsessed with her younger brother.

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Speaker 2: There are many other incidents I could never fit into

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Speaker 2: this post. Any advice please, and we have some additional comments.

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Speaker 2: But honestly, wait a minute. This is the younger brother. Yes,

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Speaker 2: he's nineteen nineteen and the older sister is twenty five.

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Speaker 3: I lost that in the insanity of this all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's what needs to be done is

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Speaker 2: your brother needs to make it very clear how he's

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Speaker 2: feeling and that he thinks this is kind of crazy

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Speaker 2: and that it needs to be like we.

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Speaker 4: Need to calm down.

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Speaker 2: And then if he says that and sisters still can't

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Speaker 2: respect his wishes, then we need to start putting up

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Speaker 2: boundaries and limiting contact.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to update my potential motivation behind it. I

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Speaker 3: think a lot of this depends on the relationship with parents.

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Speaker 3: If the parents aren't very present, and potentially it's sister

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Speaker 3: who raised the brother. Mm, yeah, yeah, that could be

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Speaker 3: a very ultra paternal instinct that the sister has developed

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Speaker 3: because of that. Yeah, gone, and she feels like she's

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Speaker 3: losing him because of the girlfriend now yeah.

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Speaker 4: He even said like she feels more like a mom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's I'm guessing that the parents probably didn't

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Speaker 3: raise either of them, so it was left to the

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Speaker 3: two defend for themselves.

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Speaker 2: See, let's see if we can gather some more information here.

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Speaker 2: In the additional comments, are they blood relatives? Oh P

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Speaker 2: says yes, one hundred percent, they are blood relatives. A

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Speaker 2: commenter says, how does your boyfriend feel about her behavior

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Speaker 2: in general. Does his sister have her own life? I mean,

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Speaker 2: does she have like a job or own apartment. She

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Speaker 2: should be focusing on her own life and not her

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Speaker 2: brothers Ohpi says, he just says that she has always

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Speaker 2: been like this. He just tells me he will create boundaries,

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Speaker 2: but I think he's scared to make her mad. She's

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Speaker 2: a nurse and engaged to a boyfriend of eight years.

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Speaker 2: He still lives at home with him and their parents.

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Speaker 2: A commentary replies, I don't think there will be any

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Speaker 2: boundaries until one of the moves out. Why is he

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Speaker 2: afraid of his sister? Are the parents aware or are

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Speaker 2: they totally oblivious? Opie says, I think he's just scared

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Speaker 2: to make her mad or something. I'm not exactly sure.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't like talking about this subject since it usually

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Speaker 2: leads to an argument. Their mom told my boyfriend we

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Speaker 2: need to get along, but I'm not ever rude, and

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Speaker 2: I just don't talk to her anymore. Commenter says, Wow,

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Speaker 2: that's a lot, very odd of her to be so obsessed.

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Speaker 2: At least he turned off his location. I wonder what

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Speaker 2: her boyfriend really thinks about all this, Opie says. I

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Speaker 2: don't think her boyfriend sees the problem since he will

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Speaker 2: take part in some of the things that she does.

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Speaker 2: He also had my boyfriend's location, but it was just

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Speaker 2: recently stopped being shared a couple of days ago.

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Speaker 4: Are they just like fake surrogant parents?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 4: This is insane? This is insane.

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Speaker 3: It's not normal behavior in the least.

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Speaker 2: Another commenter says, what does your boyfriend have to say

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Speaker 2: about all of this?

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Speaker 4: This is a suggestion what she should say.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I think we need to sit down and talk

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Speaker 2: about setting some boundaries with your sister. It's obvious she

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Speaker 2: doesn't respect me or our relationship.

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Speaker 4: How would to talk like that? Go with him? If

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Speaker 4: you said that?

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Speaker 2: Op he says, he says boundaries will be set, but

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Speaker 2: then an opportunity arises to get a said boundary and

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Speaker 2: he does not do it, and there is an update.

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Speaker 4: However, what are we suggesting it's.

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Speaker 3: Not going to stop if he's if he's already passed

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Speaker 3: on several opportunities to have boundaries, and he's just excusing

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Speaker 3: it over and over again. As she's always been like this,

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Speaker 3: She's always been like this. It's never going to stop.

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Speaker 3: She's going to have her own kids and maybe she'll

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Speaker 3: even like neglect her own actual kids to deal with him.

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Speaker 3: I think they need to have boundaries in distance, and

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Speaker 3: until there is something that forces them apart, it's going

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Speaker 3: to be bad. And even if they're forced apart, I

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Speaker 3: don't know if she will. I'm just continue to blow

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Speaker 3: his phone up and keep checking on him relentlessly.

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Speaker 4: Let's see what we gotten this next up.

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Speaker 2: Dad. First off, the good news is we're still together

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Speaker 2: and now we're engaged.

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Speaker 5: Okay, congratulations.

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Speaker 2: It means Back in October, shortly after my original post,

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Speaker 2: his sister finally moved out.

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Speaker 4: That was amazing, and things calmed down for a while.

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Speaker 2: I've honestly blocked out some of what happened, but there

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Speaker 2: are a few major events I remember clearly. At the

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Speaker 2: beginning of this year, my fiance and I were looking

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Speaker 2: to buy a house about thirty five to forty five

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Speaker 2: minutes from our hometown. When we told his parents, his

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Speaker 2: mom completely shut down and was obviously upset. She tried

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Speaker 2: listing every reason we shouldn't do it, but I had

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Speaker 2: answers for everything. She acted like a child for days,

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Speaker 2: barely talking, and when she did speak it was to

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Speaker 2: criticize our plan. We ended up not buying the house,

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Speaker 2: partly due to her lack of support and partly for

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Speaker 2: work related reasons. Things stayed relatively calm for a couple

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Speaker 2: more months. Aside from the usual location requests. My fiance

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Speaker 2: and I have had many long, serious talks about his family,

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Speaker 2: and we've chosen each other every time. He sees the

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Speaker 2: issues now and has cut his sister off let's go

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Speaker 2: since we still live with his parents until our wedding

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Speaker 2: next year. He'll say hello if she's around, but that's

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Speaker 2: about it. The final straw happened in April. Around one

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Speaker 2: am on a Friday night. I started getting multiple calls

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Speaker 2: from blocked numbers. I didn't answer it first, but then

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Speaker 2: my fiance started getting them too, so we picked up

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Speaker 2: on the line where a couple of girls claiming they

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Speaker 2: had been with my fiance the night before and the

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Speaker 2: week before, saying they had done the horizontal mambo with him.

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Speaker 2: They were trying to convince me he was cheating. I

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Speaker 2: knew immediately it was a lie. We recognized the voice

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Speaker 2: as his sister and one of her friends, and they

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Speaker 2: called fifteen to twenty more times, kept changing their story

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Speaker 2: and couldn't keep their details straight. He finally confronted them

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Speaker 2: by name and told them to stop. I was furious

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Speaker 2: and got on the phone, telling her, this is why

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Speaker 2: we don't talk.

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Speaker 4: To you anymore. You need to grow up. You're almost thirty.

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Speaker 2: My fiance told his parents about the prank calls that

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Speaker 2: they denied she would ever do something like that, so

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Speaker 2: the parents don't know how crazy.

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Speaker 4: She is about the brother.

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Speaker 2: A few days later, she admitted it to him and

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Speaker 2: laughed it off, calling it a joke. She didn't care

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Speaker 2: and never really apologized. That was the moment he completely

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Speaker 2: cut her off. His mom didn't help matters. She ended

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Speaker 2: up yelling at my fiance, saying I was the new

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Speaker 2: variable ruining the family.

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Speaker 4: Then, at the end of April, it was his sister's birthday.

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Speaker 2: We had already decided not to attend the family dinner

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Speaker 2: because it was also my mom's birthday. We were going

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Speaker 2: to her celebration instead. During my mom's dinner, his mom

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Speaker 2: sent him multiple texts saying she was disappointed and that

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Speaker 2: he broke her heart by not choosing her. When he

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Speaker 2: didn't respond, his dad texted, when you come home, don't

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Speaker 2: bring your woman with you. You mean my fiance, You

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Speaker 2: mean my soon to be wife.

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Speaker 3: This is there's all sorts of ridiculously disrespectful and unhinged.

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Speaker 3: Also like, so the sister, do you not realize that

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Speaker 3: your brother knows what your voice sounds like?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Just what an absolute no brain move on sister's part,

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Speaker 2: Like just unbelievable. My fiance went home to talk to

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Speaker 2: his parents while I stayed at my parents' house in

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Speaker 2: the front yard. His dad lectured him about how blood

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Speaker 2: is sticker than water and that no one should come

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Speaker 2: before your blood family. My fiance asked if his mom

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Speaker 2: came first in his dad's life, and his dad.

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Speaker 4: Said no, which honestly blew my mind.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward to June, when his mom insisted we have

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Speaker 2: a face to face family meeting.

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Speaker 4: It was awful.

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Speaker 2: I confronted his sister directly, but she had nothing to say,

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Speaker 2: so most of the conversation ended up being between me

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Speaker 2: and her fiance. My fiance did defend me, so I

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Speaker 2: wasn't entirely on my own. Since that day, there's been

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Speaker 2: no further drama. His sister remains cut off from our lives.

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Speaker 2: We're happy, planning to move out as soon as possible,

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Speaker 2: and we're looking forward to our wedding.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm competing for my husband's attention because

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Speaker 3: of his sisters.

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Speaker 5: Oh not the sisters.

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Speaker 3: When I started developing relationships with my new sisters in law,

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Speaker 3: I noticed some quirks from the both of them. At first,

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Speaker 3: I chalked it up to the language barrier, despite their

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Speaker 3: near perfect English, then wondering if I was overreacting or

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Speaker 3: misunderstanding what they meant. After letting minor comments and actions slide,

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Speaker 3: it seems like they amped things up to see how

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Speaker 3: much they could get away with. I only brought this

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Speaker 3: to my husband's attention when they started doing more blatant things,

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Speaker 3: but he still defends one of them. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from consistent Total seven sixty four and if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, just go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So my husband's older

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Speaker 3: sister practically worships the ground he walks on. She's obsessed

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Speaker 3: with him. She even uses a POV photo I took

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Speaker 3: of my husband as her phone wallpaper.

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Speaker 4: Creepy Okay, I don't like I. I Do you have

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Speaker 4: anyone else? You could maybe make it your background.

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Speaker 3: Red flag number one that wouldn't be such a big

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Speaker 3: deal if it weren't for the fact that the photo

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Speaker 3: is shot as if the photographer is about to lean

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Speaker 3: in and kiss him, something you'd expect to see as

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Speaker 3: a significant other's wallpaper red flag too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the red flag, right.

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Speaker 3: That's a whole separate red flag, same photo, two red flags.

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Speaker 3: I excuse the smaller things, but when the wallpaper incident happened,

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Speaker 3: I was grossed out and upset because it's completely inappropriate.

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Speaker 3: After this, I tremendously cut down communication with her, as

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Speaker 3: my husband advised, only speaking to her when necessary. She

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Speaker 3: messaged me a week later, asking what I'd been up

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Speaker 3: to and saying she missed me.

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Speaker 2: Sweet.

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Speaker 3: I thought maybe I was overreacting, after all. I briefly

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Speaker 3: told her I'd been busy and mentioned that in my

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Speaker 3: free time I played some video games. Two or three

285
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Speaker 3: days after this conversation, she proceeded to make her entire

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Speaker 3: personality about playing video games red flag three. She posted

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00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,320
Speaker 3: Snapchat stories about video games NonStop that were so long

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00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,880
Speaker 3: you couldn't even see which snap you were on when

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00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,280
Speaker 3: viewing her story. They were thirty minutes or longer, no exaggeration.

290
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Speaker 3: I became very upset because I can't stand people like this.

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Speaker 3: It reminds me of not just pick me girls in

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Speaker 3: high school. She effectively made herself into a total gamer

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Speaker 3: girl overnight. Again, I'm disgusted by this behavior because why

294
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Speaker 3: is she trying so hard to intimidate and compete with me?

295
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 3: I didn't replace the sister role. I'm literally his wife.

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Speaker 3: This behavior is absolutely disgusting to me. Okay, so, Dakota,

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Speaker 3: what do you think is going on here with older sister?

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Speaker 4: I just I think there's people brain. People's brains just

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Speaker 4: short circuit when they.

300
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Speaker 2: Feel like territorial about like relatives or people, and it's

301
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Speaker 2: like the only person who can set this straight is

302
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 2: like the relative in question. Your partner needs to go

303
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,280
Speaker 2: to his sister and say an office en off.

304
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Speaker 3: His younger sister, on the other hand, is an outright witch,

305
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,840
Speaker 3: and she even admits she can be annoying and rude. Sometimes.

306
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,120
Speaker 3: She's made straight up discriminatory comments towards me, suggested my

307
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Speaker 3: husband doesn't treat me as well as he would a

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Speaker 3: girl from back home, and even tried to plan my

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Speaker 3: wedding as if it were her own red flag. Again,

310
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 3: my husband and I are already married, but we plan

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Speaker 3: to have a ceremony later in his home country to

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Speaker 3: celebrate with his family. His younger sister has sent me

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Speaker 3: several photos of near white or full white extravagant dresses.

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Speaker 3: She says she'll wear it to my wedding, as well

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Speaker 3: as several over the top hairstyles like those from Bridgerton

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Speaker 3: that she says she'll have done especially for my wedding.

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Speaker 3: My husband comes from a culture with very tight family bonds,

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Speaker 3: which has made this even more difficult. I've talked to

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Speaker 3: him about this, and he insists the older sister is

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Speaker 3: just socially awkward and so innocent. She doesn't understand what

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Speaker 3: she's doing. It was wrong, He says, he can't mention

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Speaker 3: it to her. I made to feel like I'm wrong

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Speaker 3: for believing this is strange behavior.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy because if she really is completely innocent,

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Speaker 2: why would you not mention it to her. It's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: innocent sister who doesn't know what she's doing, let me

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Speaker 2: inform you r on what it is you're doing. You

328
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Speaker 2: can't wear white to the wedding, and you can't have

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Speaker 2: a hairstyle so outrageous it makes you look like the bride.

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Speaker 3: Right, and also if you are aware that her behavior

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Speaker 3: is inappropriate, as the ones who know it is. If

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00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:37,520
Speaker 3: you care for this sister, your responsibility to correct her

333
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 3: behavior so she doesn't get in trouble. Like imagine if

334
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 3: she imagine, if like all the family is like gone,

335
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 3: are doing something else right, and she does this with

336
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 3: someone who does not take any of that nonsense, she's

337
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:53,200
Speaker 3: in trouble. And because she doesn't know, because you didn't

338
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,560
Speaker 3: teach her, there is a little bit of culpability knowing

339
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Speaker 3: that she behaves like this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if that is what's really going on, right, I

341
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,520
Speaker 2: don't think that's actually what's going on. I think she

342
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,800
Speaker 2: knows what she's doing. But if that's their excuse, hold

343
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 2: poking holes exactly. He said he would address this with them,

344
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,879
Speaker 2: but never has and keeps putting it off. With the

345
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,960
Speaker 2: rude sister. At least he can agree she's wrong, but

346
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,280
Speaker 2: he still won't bring this up to either of them.

347
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,679
Speaker 2: I can't stand either of them, and it's to the

348
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,720
Speaker 2: point where I don't even want to meet them in

349
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Speaker 2: person or move anywhere near them, because I can see

350
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 2: how they are as people and know it will just

351
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Speaker 2: get worse. I want to stay in another country altogether.

352
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 2: No closer than flying distance. I'm starting to question if

353
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Speaker 2: I made the right decision getting married because my husband

354
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,720
Speaker 2: gets offended when I even suggest setting boundaries or addressing them,

355
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Speaker 2: as if I'm asking him to cut them out of

356
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Speaker 2: his life. I don't want the rest of my life

357
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,320
Speaker 2: to be me avoiding his family events. Recently, he's come

358
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 2: around and is slightly more understanding, but he still defends

359
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 2: the older sister one hundred percent as if she's done

360
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 2: nothing wrong. I really love him, and I want this

361
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,320
Speaker 2: to work, but I know it may never work if

362
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,920
Speaker 2: he can't even see where I'm coming from. I don't

363
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,199
Speaker 2: know how to address this with him any further. And

364
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,439
Speaker 2: the bigger issue now is him defending his sisters no

365
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 2: matter what, while not being willing to pick up the

366
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,239
Speaker 2: phone and stand up for his wife. Do you have

367
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 2: any advice?

368
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,159
Speaker 3: And there are some comments, but what would your advice

369
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 3: for a stuff be, Dakota.

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Speaker 4: I think you try to flip the script. You're like,

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Speaker 4: what if I had a brother?

372
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Speaker 2: What if I had a brother and he was doing

373
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,679
Speaker 2: exactly what your sister was doing, would you feel like

374
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,359
Speaker 2: it was chill? If I was just like, no, it's okay,

375
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,399
Speaker 2: Like I'm sure that would make him go no, but

376
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,400
Speaker 2: it's different, and it's like, well, no, it's how it's different.

377
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 2: It's exactly what's happening right now.

378
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. I think that the husband needs some outside perspective,

379
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,560
Speaker 3: So either get a neutral third party like a family

380
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,680
Speaker 3: friend who like knows both of you pretty well, or

381
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,359
Speaker 3: someone who's like paid to do this, like a therapist

382
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,160
Speaker 3: or something, or just spend time away with each other,

383
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 3: like no contact from them, like go on vacation, no contact,

384
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 3: something like that, so that you can just be together

385
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 3: and not have to worry about their outside influence. Because

386
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 3: I think it's it sounds like together they're great, but

387
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,200
Speaker 3: whenever the family comes in, that's when the tensions start.

388
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it's all coming from the fam, all right.

389
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 3: Here are the comments. Comment number one. I bet his

390
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 3: parents have coddled the two sisters and treated them like precious,

391
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 3: spoiled brats, so even he believes on some level that

392
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 3: they're perfect angels. I think he's slowly coming around to

393
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 3: understand that what they do is wrong, but it's difficult

394
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 3: for him to go against the family habit of treating

395
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 3: these sisters like perfect little angels, So he's fighting the

396
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 3: realization that these sisters are pretty gross while also dealing

397
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 3: with a family culture that insists they're wonderful. His family

398
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 3: is very tight knit, so he might be afraid of

399
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 3: what standing up to them will mean. I hope he'll

400
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 3: realize that no woman is going to accept the way

401
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 3: his sisters behave, so he has to fight this fight

402
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 3: sooner or later, or else forever be single. The first

403
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 3: sister sounds like she has no personality or very low

404
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,119
Speaker 3: self esteem, and there's something going on with her spicy brain.

405
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 3: I think she's a copycat who copies everyone about her

406
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,399
Speaker 3: to try to get in their shoes. It was pretty

407
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 3: gross that she tried to be you as if she

408
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,880
Speaker 3: could get into her brother's pants. Yes, that's some serious

409
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 3: family dynamic issues that need a heavily paid therapist. Again,

410
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 3: therapy is your friend.

411
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 4: Therapy is always your friend.

412
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 3: The other sister sounds like a bad person and the

413
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 3: only way she's agreeing to be in this wedding is

414
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 3: if you spend a lot of money and lavish attention

415
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 3: on her. That's not a good look. I think the

416
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 3: real problem is that your husband says this is a

417
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 3: tight knit family, but I don't think that's true. I

418
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 3: don't even think he realizes it. I think a lot

419
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,159
Speaker 3: of this family dynamic is fake and cultured, and the

420
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 3: siblings aren't very close at all. I think he's terrified

421
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 3: to lose them because that's what the family has always been.

422
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 3: These aren't healthy relationships. You coming into this family will

423
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 3: mean having a relationship with your husband and probably not

424
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 3: much with the other two women. That's the only way

425
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 3: I see this working. As your husband starts to stand

426
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 3: up for you more, it will alienate him more from

427
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 3: the family culture that treats the sisters like perfect angels.

428
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,719
Speaker 3: If he's this afraid of being cut off from the family,

429
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 3: it makes me wonder if he has a good reason

430
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 3: for that fear. We've already seen unhealthy behaviors here. I

431
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 3: wonder if he's terrified of being outcast and having no

432
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 3: one to talk to him for a decade. If he

433
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 3: doesn't grovel and worship, I don't think you'll have much

434
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 3: traction asking him to do abstract things like talk to someone.

435
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 3: He's too afraid of being cut off. You'll have better

436
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 3: results asking him to do specific, concrete things. Please don't

437
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,679
Speaker 3: send any pictures of us to your sister, because I

438
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 3: don't like. What she's doing with them is more specific

439
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 3: and actionable. Also, who are you throwing this big wedding for.

440
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 3: I understand you're already married and this wedding is for

441
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 3: the family, but keep in mind, this wedding isn't for

442
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 3: his side of the family. You don't like them, and

443
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: they don't like you. Don't feel like you have to

444
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 3: throw away thousands of dollars for a horrible nightmare that

445
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 3: nobody will enjoy. If it's going to be like that,

446
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 3: you might as well keep your money and go on

447
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 3: a nice vacation instead. Opie says, I ten thousand percent agree.

448
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 3: I have no desire to throw any type of party

449
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 3: just so his family can run around and play dress up,

450
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,439
Speaker 3: and I've expressed this. However, it seems to be a

451
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 3: non negotiable for him because it's what the family wants.

452
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 3: I had a small family, mostly just my mom's side.

453
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 3: I think there's some disconnect because I was pushed to

454
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 3: learn that mom and dad aren't always right and it's

455
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 3: okay to live your own path in life, even if

456
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 3: it doesn't please your family. He kind of went against

457
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 3: the grain marrying me since I'm from outside the culture

458
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 3: and it took some convincing with his dad. I think

459
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 3: he doesn't want to rock the boat anymore because people

460
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: already assume I'm the evil Westerner coming to assert my

461
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 3: individualistic ideologies on their codependent, collectivistic culture. Each time we

462
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 3: discuss this, he.

463
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,639
Speaker 2: Gets defensive and always acts as if I asked him

464
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 2: to go no contact with his family. I would never

465
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,640
Speaker 2: ask him to do something like that, but the mere

466
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 2: thought of discussing some dysfunction is scary for him, I guess.

467
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 2: And there is an update, so we'll get to that next.

468
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 4: But yeah, I don't know.

469
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 2: I think I think this might be like a dude,

470
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: if you're unwilling to change this, I'm gonna walk away,

471
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 2: like if you if you can't, If you can't stand

472
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 2: up for me in this situation, what's the next situation

473
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,399
Speaker 2: you won't stand up for me, you know? Like, and

474
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: I don't you know, I don't believe in using ultimatums

475
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: what we want in relationships, but like, you know, that

476
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 2: might be one of the only things that makes him

477
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 2: like like wake up, like oh oh, like this is okay,

478
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,160
Speaker 2: It's all I have to choose.

479
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 3: I think an ultimatum is okay if it's a safety thing, Like,

480
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 3: this is not a safe family for her to be

481
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 3: around because they're always criticizing her and assaulting her mental

482
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 3: health and trying to like take over their wedding of

483
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 3: thousands of dollars. It's not healthy for OP to be

484
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 3: so judged and feeling so marginalized, right, and husband's gonna

485
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: have to pick. There's a line in the sand where

486
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,199
Speaker 3: you can have a relationship with your family, but it

487
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 3: changes once you bring someone else into that. And I

488
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 3: don't think he realizes that, and it's the relationship is

489
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 3: not going to work if he doesn't defend his wife. Yeah,

490
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 3: like he should.

491
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

492
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, So let's get to this up, dan, shall we.

493
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,360
Speaker 3: After reading some comments on my previous post, I'm now

494
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 3: contemplating possibly getting a divorce. Oh well, okay, husband, it's

495
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 3: choice time, buddy boy, It's the time has come. After

496
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 3: thinking about it today, I'm starting to realize that this

497
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 3: small issue will only get worse because I can't make

498
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 3: my husband give a crap about his sister's treating me poorly.

499
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 3: He'll probably always defend them before his wife until he

500
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 3: realizes himself that he needs to change and maybe defend

501
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 3: his wife when she's treated poorly. So there's another update.

502
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 3: But how are you feeling about the potential of divorce.

503
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,239
Speaker 3: Do you think it's going to wake them up?

504
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 2: I think that, you know, maybe, I mean, I'm hoping

505
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: that OPI is expressing this to you know, Beyonce or

506
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 2: her husband, like uh, instead of just into the void

507
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,160
Speaker 2: of the internet. But like it needs to be Yeah,

508
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's unfortunate, and I kind of

509
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 2: flip flop on this, but it's it's all contextually dependent.

510
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, you're marrying into another family, and so

511
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 2: if that other family is going to be a negative

512
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 2: impact on you, like other family members, it's really important

513
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 2: that your partner can acknowledge that and y'all can work

514
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,959
Speaker 2: through it or around it together as a united front

515
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: instead of like you know, being like, oh, I'm constantly

516
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 2: having to fight these battles alone.

517
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 3: Like there's family A, there's family B. But you're also

518
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 3: making family C right, exactly, putting this union together.

519
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if and if you can't prioritize the new

520
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 2: family you're making as equally at least important as the

521
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 2: family you already have, then I think that's fundamentally a

522
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,120
Speaker 2: huge problem.

523
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 3: If he can't choose now ope and stick to it,

524
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 3: then divorce is the only way that either of them

525
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 3: will be happy.

526
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

527
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,439
Speaker 4: I kind of agree with that.

528
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, so to this update, he truly is a great

529
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: guy in my opinion, but he doesn't get the concept

530
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 3: of taking a step back from his immediate family and

531
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 3: starting his own family. See here you go. I don't

532
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 3: want to live a life where my opinions and thoughts

533
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 3: about how we raise our children are constantly overshadowed by

534
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 3: what he and his family think. I'm not going to

535
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 3: make any rash decisions. I'm just contemplating it right now,

536
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 3: and we'll seek out counseling for myself at least, since

537
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,479
Speaker 3: he doesn't believe in going to couple's therapy.

538
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 4: oOoOO, that is.

539
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: A big thing, because he's not even willing to negotiate. Now, Yeah,

540
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: it's come on regardless. I'll try to ask him again

541
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 3: and convey how important this is to me, to see

542
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 3: if we can save this. I don't want to get

543
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 3: a divorce, but if he isn't willing to compromise whatsoever

544
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 3: and draw boundaries, I don't want to live a miserable

545
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 3: life where I'm always second to his family. I keep

546
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 3: imagining a future with this issue, and it honestly looks

547
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 3: absolutely miserable. This is crappy to say, but at least

548
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 3: I'm still relatively young, and hopefully if this doesn't work out,

549
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 3: I have a chance to find someone who to marry

550
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 3: later on, who actually cares about how I'm treated. And

551
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,479
Speaker 3: unfortunately that is the end of this story. But I

552
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: think hope he kinda got it on the head, like

553
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 3: I think maybe together they're great. It's just he can't

554
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 3: disentangle himself enough from his family and culture to be

555
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 3: the individual that she needs him to be all the time. Yeah,

556
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 3: when it's them alone, he can do it. But when

557
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 3: faced with the outside pressure, the outside pressure's gonna win. Yeah,

558
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 3: she's never gonna be the priority.

559
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm onder in law captain inserting herself into our lives,

560
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 2: and I can't forgive her.

561
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 4: I object your honor.

562
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 2: I'm twenty six female, thirty nine weeks and four days

563
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: pregnant with my third daughter. My husband twenty seven mail

564
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 2: and I had his mom over to help care for

565
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 2: my two older daughters from my previous marriage while we

566
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 2: awaited our third daughter's arrival. She came during the second

567
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 2: to last week of my pregnancy, and initially was helpful

568
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 2: taking the girls to the beach and park while we

569
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 2: prepared for baby and school. By the way, this comes

570
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: from user gold tooth ninety nine on the r slash

571
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 2: Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddit, and if you want to submit

572
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

573
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 2: So for context, I'm not the type who likes being

574
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 2: the center of attention. Being pregnant has cast me into

575
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: that position with my husband's family and coworkers, and I've

576
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 2: struggled with the discomfort of constantly being asked about pregnancy.

577
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 2: I've realized I don't appreciate that most people have made

578
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 2: pregnancy my entire identity, only interested in my growing belly

579
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 2: rather than getting to know me as a person. I

580
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: like to maintain my identity outside of being a parent,

581
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 2: pregnancy and marriage. My husband shares this sense of all autonomy,

582
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: and we have an amazing relationship as a result. I've

583
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: told him that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm

584
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: completely incapacitated. If I need help, I'll ask, but I'd

585
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: like to be treated like a normal person.

586
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 4: He's been great at being.

587
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 2: Equally curious about our baby while helping me feel normal.

588
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: I had a hard time early in pregnancy adjusting to

589
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 2: all the changes and fell into a depressive hit for

590
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 2: a couple months, but with his support, I became excited

591
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 2: for my new life and welcomed the change with confidence.

592
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 4: Back to mother in law.

593
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 2: Almost every day she asked how I felt, and I

594
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 2: began getting annoyed. I had lost part of my mucus

595
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: plug the day she arrived plug, and for the next

596
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 2: four days I had bits of the bloody show, but

597
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 2: no rupturing of membranes. My husband and I are excited

598
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: and impatient, but we know it'll happen when it happens.

599
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 2: I tried to be open and answer her questions, but

600
00:29:56,280 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 2: I began feeling pressured to perform. The little contractions I'd

601
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 2: been having stopped. There were no more signs labor was near,

602
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: and I slowly realized the lack of relaxation may have

603
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 2: stalled my labor. A couple nights into her stay, she

604
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: told us to go into our room and have relations

605
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 2: to speed things along. All right, Mother in law, got you,

606
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: got you go home. You're no longer helping. Just go

607
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: go home, get out of here.

608
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 3: There's like there's an unspoken line that you don't The

609
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: reason it's unspoken is because you shouldn't have to speak it.

610
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 3: She just crossed it very just wilfully, no qualm.

611
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, come on, come on, mother lom, What do we do?

612
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: I felt completely violated by her comment and told my

613
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 2: husband it made me feel unsafe in my body. He

614
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 2: shared the same sentiment, and we went to bed feeling

615
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 2: very awkward. Having someone I didn't know well say something

616
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: like that was wholly inappropriate, especially since she didn't know

617
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 2: me enough to understand that I've been hurt by people

618
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 2: in that way before. My husband felt uncomfortable that his

619
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: own mom wanted him to perform, and felt violated that

620
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: she could make such a request.

621
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 4: That's where the breakdown began.

622
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 2: When I wasn't around, mother in law told my husband

623
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 2: that the baby probably wouldn't be here while she was visiting.

624
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 4: When he told me, I felt it was completely selfish.

625
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 2: Of her to feel entitled to the birth when she

626
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 2: wouldn't be experiencing my labor pain. Later that evening, she asked,

627
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 2: are we having a baby tomorrow? I very bluntly replied no, yeah, no,

628
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 2: we aren't having anything because I'm having the baby, not you.

629
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: I became irate with the pressure to perform for her

630
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: and simply wasn't having it anymore. I've been communicating my

631
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 2: discomfort with my husband since she kept asking if we

632
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: were going to have a baby.

633
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 4: As if all three of us were involved. For the

634
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 4: next couple.

635
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 3: Days, I'm getting just I'm getting the image of the

636
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: meme where it's like Solviet Russia, we are having baby.

637
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 3: These is our baby.

638
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 2: I feel like this is just what happens with like

639
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 2: hyper helicopter moms or like moms.

640
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 4: You were like, I've always wanted to be a grandparent.

641
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 2: And then it's like you just have to respect that

642
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 2: this is a process happening outside of you, and you

643
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 2: get to be involved later grandparent, But in terms of

644
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 2: the pregnancy and the baby being born, not you. That

645
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: is not something that is happening to you. At the

646
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 2: very most, it could be something that's happening to her

647
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: and her husband.

648
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 3: But really, your laborer pains our baby, Yeah.

649
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 4: Come on.

650
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 2: For the next couple of days, I became increasingly avoidant

651
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 2: of her, both vocally and physically, without giving a dang

652
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 2: how it made her feel. In my head, She's a

653
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 2: visitor in our lives, and for her to have said

654
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 2: something like that was meddlesome. I'm also not great at

655
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 2: addressing things like this. I assume people know what not

656
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: to talk about, but I'm also non confrontational. It's time

657
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 2: to get confrontational. We gotta tell mom if this absolutely

658
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 2: needs to stop, you know, and whether it's you or

659
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 2: a husband needs to be like, we need to start

660
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 2: changing the way that we're talking about the pregnancy and

661
00:32:55,560 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: we're talking about the baby, because you're impacting my wife's

662
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: well being and by extension, the baby's well being, the

663
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 2: baby that you care so much about, mother or you know.

664
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 4: Come on.

665
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 2: When I felt like I needed to get out of

666
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 2: the house, my husband and I left together, and on

667
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 2: those small outings, I began feeling contractions again. But when

668
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 2: we got home, I felt like we were walking on

669
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 2: eggshells in our own home and all signs of labor stopped.

670
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 2: She would follow us from room to room without even

671
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: trying to make conversation, just sitting in our space. She

672
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 2: made a point of bossing my husband around about taking

673
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 2: the dogs out and feeding them, making him.

674
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 4: Feel like she viewed him as a child rather than

675
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 4: a grown man.

676
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 2: She also said she woke up early to make sure

677
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 2: we were up for the girl's open house at their

678
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: new school, which annoyed him because he felt she viewed

679
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 2: him as incapable of being responsible for the kids. He

680
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 2: voiced his frustrations to me, the wrong person he should

681
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 2: be doing this to his mom, and I let him

682
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: know I was aware of how she was treating him

683
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: and had his back. She also seemed not to care

684
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 2: that our family didn't sit or her dietary beliefs, but

685
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 2: tried to get us.

686
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 4: To eat what she ate.

687
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 2: My husband and kids don't like mushrooms or sweet potatoes

688
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 2: because of texture, but she made them for the entire family,

689
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: knowing this, and burned food into my dishes without apology

690
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 2: or cleaning them. My husband countered by making mashed potatoes

691
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 2: and steamed veggies for himself and my girls. She would

692
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 2: use my dishes and set them aside for her own

693
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 2: use without regard.

694
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 4: That we might also need them.

695
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: My daughters and I are Native American and fry bread

696
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: is a cultural staple passed down through years.

697
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 4: It's made by hand, like non bread.

698
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: Mother in law made a comment about my daughters having

699
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 2: their hands all over the dough while I was having

700
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 2: a teaching moment with them, making my eldest daughter feel weird.

701
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 4: I assured her that.

702
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 2: Her grandma, great grandma and I have made bread like

703
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: this for years and it would be okay. She had

704
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 2: washed her hands and tied up her hair, so I

705
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 2: didn't see an issue. And that's because there wasn't one. Folks,

706
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 2: you're gonna lose your mind when you realize every restaurant

707
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 2: you've ever eaten at, do you know that he are

708
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: touching your food and they're not always gloved, just clean

709
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: hands that have been washed are handling your meal before

710
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 2: it's prepared. And if you can't handle that, then I

711
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: guess you should be cooking all of your food just

712
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 2: for yourself.

713
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 3: Also, have you never seen like any footage of someone

714
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:20,280
Speaker 3: making bread. They're always using their hands to need the dough.

715
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 3: There might be rolling pans, but they like touch the

716
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 3: dough and move it and then they'll roll up. But

717
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 3: you kneed the dough with your hands.

718
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 4: Crazy, I didn't even think about that. She's like, eh,

719
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 4: she's got her hands all up in the dough. It's like, yeah,

720
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 4: that's where you put your hands when you make bread. Genius,

721
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 4: What are we talking about?

722
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 3: Also, I know from just reading and stuff that like,

723
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 3: frybread is very very protected by Native American communians because

724
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 3: that has so much cultural and historical for them. And like,

725
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 3: I'm sure that mother in law has no idea and

726
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: no care whatsoever, but like for her to try to

727
00:35:56,640 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 3: coach this Native American woman about fry bread is beyond

728
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 3: colonizer audacious.

729
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's insane behavior. Mother in law and my husband

730
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 2: are white. My husband knows how I make bread by

731
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 2: hand and doesn't mind. He's open to cultural differences and

732
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 2: receptive to learning about people through food.

733
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 4: I was offended she.

734
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 2: Didn't clean the burn off of my pants, and she

735
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 2: rarely helped with cleaning aside from loading the dishwasher and

736
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 2: doing laundry, which initially felt helpful until it began feeling

737
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 2: like I'd end up owing her for help when she

738
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 2: was supposedly here to help while I tried to facilitate

739
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,280
Speaker 2: labor naturally and peacefully.

740
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 4: Yesterday, my daughters had.

741
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 2: Their first day of school, so I got up early

742
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: with my husband and got them on the bus. I

743
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 2: went back to sleep and woke up hours later, showered,

744
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: and took myself out to lunch while waiting for the

745
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,399
Speaker 2: girls to get home. Sundays are my day out, while

746
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 2: my husband normally takes Saturdays. I didn't go out Sunday

747
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 2: because I was focused on the girl's first day preparation,

748
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 2: so I decided to go.

749
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 4: Out Monday instead.

750
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 2: While I was out, mother in law texted asking if

751
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 2: i'd be home soon because she was locked out. I

752
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 2: said yeah, but I was running errands. We'd given her

753
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 2: a house key and she knew the garage door code.

754
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 2: She then texted my husband, making it seem like I'd

755
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: locked her out on purpose. He shared the text with me,

756
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 2: and I shared what she'd ask me. I didn't grow

757
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 2: up in the nicest places, so I'm accustomed to locking

758
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 2: up before going anywhere. Lock your doors wherever you are,

759
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 2: don't let anyone ever gas light.

760
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,240
Speaker 4: You were to saying you shouldn't lock your doors. That's crazy.

761
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 3: I've lived in apartments with friends where we didn't lock

762
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 3: our doors, and it's not like when something happens or

763
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,800
Speaker 3: when you think like, oh god did we get broken into,

764
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: like it clicks real quick in your brain. Oh, this

765
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 3: is why you lock your door.

766
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 4: Oh this is why I'm locked my doors. Gotcha?

767
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: He told him I was rude, didn't apologize for locking

768
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 2: her out, and gave no fs about how she felt.

769
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:49,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

770
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,720
Speaker 2: True, she said I made her feel unwelcome and played

771
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 2: the victim. My husband called to let me know he

772
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 2: was heading home to talk to her and didn't know

773
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 2: what to say. I let him know again why I

774
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 2: felt of and that despite what she said, I didn't

775
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: feel she was owed in apology because her actions had

776
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: been adverse to myself, him and my kids. I wouldn't

777
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: tolerate the disrespect, whether she was aware or not. I

778
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 2: told him I'd head home to get my girls off

779
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 2: the bus and be with him for whatever he was

780
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 2: about to walk into. We were on the exact same page.

781
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 2: I got home and she was raising her voice at him,

782
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 2: saying I locked her out intentionally and was owed in apology.

783
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,760
Speaker 2: Let's remember she knows the correct She knows the door

784
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 2: code for the garage, so this is a non issue.

785
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 4: She was given a key that you, I guess, didn't

786
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 4: take care of.

787
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 2: She also stated I was rude and my kids were terrible,

788
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: to which he said he wouldn't allow her to disrespect me.

789
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 2: He let her know we were both uncomfortable with her

790
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: for our own reasons, and felt that if anyone was

791
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: owed in apology, it was us for her lack of

792
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 2: regard for our boundaries. She kept trying to play victim,

793
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 2: and I could see my husband becoming aggravated, so I

794
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 2: stepped in. I tried steering the conversation back to peaceful discussion,

795
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: but she refused to understand where we were coming from and.

796
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 4: Continued victimizing herself.

797
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:05,399
Speaker 2: She felt entitled to thanks for offering help and made

798
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 2: it seem like I was ungrateful, which I never was.

799
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 2: She said I should apologize for purposefully locking her out

800
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 2: when I knew she had a key. At every turn,

801
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 2: I shut down her excuses while she continued grasping at straws.

802
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 2: It ended with her slamming our front door and leaving

803
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 2: back to Ohio while we calmed down enough to get

804
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 2: the girls from the bus stop. We don't know where

805
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 2: to go from here, but my husband and I talked

806
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: about it all, and he realized she had an emotionally

807
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,800
Speaker 2: toxic relationship with him, always meddling in his life because

808
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 2: she had no control of her own. In our private

809
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 2: conversations while she was here, we had talked about her

810
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 2: strange behavior and when the shoe dropped, we worked as

811
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:43,959
Speaker 2: a unit.

812
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 4: Now we have a little bit more.

813
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 2: Story left, But honestly, I feel like the trash just

814
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 2: took itself out. You know, you did not let her

815
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 2: get away with her sort of gaslighting and her lies,

816
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 2: and when she realized she couldn't get away with it anymore,

817
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 2: she just left.

818
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,280
Speaker 4: So I I feel like you're gonna have that baby

819
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 4: any day now.

820
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 3: I'm proud of this husband for standing up for his

821
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: new family. So you don't really see that in a

822
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 3: lot of these stories. Yeah, it's good to see that

823
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:12,280
Speaker 3: it does exist.

824
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 4: It does happen, Folks.

825
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 2: Standing on business for your partner does happen. Now, now

826
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 2: let's see if she gives birth to this kid. Mother

827
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 2: in law has three other kids who don't speak to her.

828
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:26,959
Speaker 4: So I guess we figured out why.

829
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 2: My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage that

830
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 2: he can't legally be around much because of quote anger

831
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 2: issues that I believe stemmed from his mom. His previous

832
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 2: marriage fell apart because she got between him and his

833
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: wife before. She even went so far as to keep

834
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 2: husband's father away from him for most of his life,

835
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 2: and now as adults, husband and his father have been

836
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 2: navigating their relationship successfully. Mother in law has no contact

837
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 2: with any of her family, and I had always wondered

838
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 2: why I was raised in a similar environment. So when

839
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 2: it came to figuring this out, I always heard him

840
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: out and told.

841
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 4: Him what it looked like to me.

842
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: I told him he could come to his own conclusions

843
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: and I would support him regardless of how he felt.

844
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,720
Speaker 2: Now we're just rebuilding after the blow up and staying

845
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,800
Speaker 2: united on all fronts. So Reddit, am I the a hole? No,

846
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: you're not, of course, not like zero percent. You were

847
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 2: very gracious and opened up your home to this woman who,

848
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 2: according to all these indications, delayed your birth by giving

849
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: you stress. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, we don't need

850
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 2: to be catering to anyone here. She was clearly negative.

851
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 2: All of her other children are no contact with her.

852
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 2: She was already directly It sounds responsible for the implosion

853
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 2: of your husband's previous marriage, which I guess is a

854
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 2: good thing because then he got to marry you. But uh,

855
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 2: but anyway, yeah, very complicated, and you don't need any

856
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: of that.

857
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 4: You just let her be and stay away load no

858
00:41:58,360 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 4: contact Sam.

859
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: Here, We're gon get back to the stories but here's

860
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 1: three of it's bads from our sponsors.

861
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 6: I refuse to take my step niece on a trip

862
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 6: because of her parents' behavior. If they don't deserve to go,

863
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 6: neither does she. I thirty five female, live and work abroad.

864
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 6: Bet him from the Midwest. I grew up with my

865
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 6: brother Jason forty three male, and our parents seventies. We

866
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 6: were working class, had what we needed, but weren't well

867
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,839
Speaker 6: off by any means. By the way, this comes from

868
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 6: f you, Jenny, and if you want to submit your

869
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 6: own stories, go to the r slage.

870
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 5: Okay, storytime supert it only if your name is as

871
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 5: cool as that. Yeah. Yeah.

872
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 6: When I was in high school, Jason married Tiffany, forty female,

873
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 6: a hot mess of a person who was a heavy

874
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 6: drinker and a partier. She was gorgeous, though, and my

875
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 6: brother is a dweb to put it nicely. They had

876
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:53,720
Speaker 6: three kids, Jace nineteen male, Jeff seventeen male, and Hannah

877
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 6: twelve female. Their marriage fell apart before Hannah was born.

878
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 6: They tried working it out, but ultimately divorced, with Jason

879
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 6: working constantly while splitting custody fifty to fifty with Tiffany,

880
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,959
Speaker 6: who received child sport and alimony. As a former stay

881
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 6: at home mom, Jason then started dating Jenny. There she Yeah,

882
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 6: we found her, ef you Jenny forty three female. I

883
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 6: liked her initially. She wasn't a complete smoke show like Tiffany,

884
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 6: but she was kind, educated and had a good job.

885
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 6: Much better match, I thought. Jenny got pregnant fairly quickly

886
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 6: with Daisy ten female, and they married. Around this time,

887
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 6: the older kids started refusing to go back to their

888
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 6: moms because Tiffany was always drinking and having a random

889
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 6: guys around. All three moved in full time with Jason

890
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 6: and Jenny, and Tiffany eventually left town entirely years when

891
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 6: things went sideways, Jenny completely changed after becoming a stepmother

892
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:57,280
Speaker 6: to three full time kids us having her own baby.

893
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,959
Speaker 6: She quit working but declared she was only a stay

894
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 6: at home mom to her kid.

895
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 5: No.

896
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:10,240
Speaker 6: No, once she get married to someone who has kids, Yeah,

897
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 6: you gotta be ready for those all to be your kids,

898
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:15,240
Speaker 6: especially if the mom isn't in the picture.

899
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 5: Yeah.

900
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 6: Despite Jason working seventy plus hours to make ends, me

901
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 6: and Jenny's parents helping financially, dang yight, so he's paying

902
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,919
Speaker 6: for all the kids and she's like, well, I'm only

903
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 6: gonna care for one, And she's like, well that's your choice.

904
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 5: You yeah't have to do that.

905
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 6: I didn't force you to do any of this. Yeah.

906
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 6: She controlled the money and created a clear hierarchy. Jason, Jenny,

907
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:41,280
Speaker 6: and Daisy operated as one family unit, going to dinners,

908
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 6: events and vacations while leaving the older three at home.

909
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 6: I thought this was disgusting and said so, but Jason

910
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 6: just said his divorce had broken him and emotionally, and

911
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 6: he'd do anything to keep Jenny happy, so this.

912
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 5: Marriage would work.

913
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 6: Ten years ago, I was younger broker and frankly Dummer,

914
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 6: so my attitude was more my brother sucks as but

915
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 6: I love it another continent. All I can do is

916
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 6: support the kids. Not great, and I'm disappointed in myself

917
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 6: looking back on it.

918
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 5: I really did my best to step up.

919
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 6: When they refuse to pay for Jace to learn driving,

920
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 6: even though Jenny wouldn't drive the kids anywhere, my mom

921
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:17,800
Speaker 6: todt him and I bought him a used car.

922
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 5: Good on you, that's good.

923
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 6: We had to shame Jason into putting jas on his

924
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 6: insurance and he makes Jace pay for it. You suck

925
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 6: as a father. Oh my gosh, same story with Jeff.

926
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 6: They share the car for all the kids' activities. My

927
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 6: wife and I were child free, made the older three

928
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,800
Speaker 6: kids are soul bet of fisharies after learning that Jenny

929
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:43,760
Speaker 6: and Jason plan to leave them only the bare minimum

930
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 6: with everything going to Daisy and he literally, this guy

931
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 6: should not be a father.

932
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 5: No.

933
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 6: Six years ago after we married, we started taking the

934
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 6: older kids on annual trips when we visit the US.

935
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 6: Nothing fancy. Were well off but not billionaires, just week

936
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 6: long trips to Florida, Utah, California.

937
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 5: They're outdoorsy kids and have a blast. Every year.

938
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 6: We tie these trips when Jason takes Jenny and Daisy

939
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 6: on their own vacations, so there's no conflict. This year,

940
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 6: we planned a fall trip to Maine instead of our

941
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 6: usual summer vacation because Jays gotten an internship. When I

942
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:18,879
Speaker 6: told Jason the dates, he said, we need to start

943
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 6: including Daisy, and then I literally would just go, oh,

944
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 6: then you need to start including your own kids on

945
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 6: your trips.

946
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 5: That you go on.

947
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:30,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, what, Jenny's parents made bad investments and can't help

948
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 6: financially anymore.

949
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 5: That sucks.

950
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 6: I'm not surprised Jenny's looking for work, but since her

951
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 6: parents always funded their trips, they can't afford one this year.

952
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 6: Here's the brutal truth. Even if everything were fair, I

953
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 6: wouldn't want to take Daisy. She's a huge brat, spoiled, mean,

954
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 6: and constantly bragging about things she gets that her siblings don't.

955
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 6: She once told me the older kids weren't her stipling,

956
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 6: they were Tiffany's kids, which you know her mom is

957
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 6: telling her.

958
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 5: Oh, of course, which is so.

959
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,280
Speaker 6: Sad because the kid is just being brainwashed into hating

960
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 6: her other siblings.

961
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 5: Right, I mean, like earlier you said that he can't

962
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 5: be that good of a parent to Daisy either, and like, yeah,

963
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,320
Speaker 5: it's clear that he's not right. I mean, with doing

964
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 5: all of this stuff and that separation. It's not just

965
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 5: bad because he's neglecting. It's bad because he's also spoiling this.

966
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 6: H She throws toddler level tantrums on holidays if she

967
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,720
Speaker 6: doesn't get as much and more than the other kids.

968
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 6: Years ago, she told my wife and me we were

969
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 6: going to heck, which Jenny barely disciplined her for.

970
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 5: Because Jenny is telling.

971
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,919
Speaker 6: Her these things, y, it's like of course, her mom

972
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 6: is not going to discipline her for this, of course,

973
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 6: because she's the one encouraging this behavior.

974
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, like what, no kid just says you're

975
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 5: going to heck? Yeah, because like pig got something like

976
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 5: more toys than you are, more like snacks. I don't know,

977
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 5: Like that's not something that kids learn on their own.

978
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 6: Nope, since Jenny waits on her hand and foot, she's

979
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 6: also a complete slop. How old is Daisy by now?

980
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 6: I'm wondering.

981
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 5: I'm wondering too.

982
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 6: I feel terrible saying this about a child, and I

983
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 6: hope she grows out of it, but there's no way

984
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 6: I want to take her on vacation. When I told

985
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 6: Jason we couldn't handle all four kids and would stick

986
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 6: to just the five of us, he suggested Jenny could

987
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 6: come help. Absolutely not, or our mom could join. She's

988
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 6: getting a hip replacement next month and doesn't want to

989
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:19,280
Speaker 6: go last.

990
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 5: We'd need a.

991
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 6: Bigger car, probably two cars for a road trip with

992
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 6: that many people, and honestly, I don't want to. Since

993
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,799
Speaker 6: Jason couldn't convince me, they've started shaming us online. It's

994
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 6: working with their friends and Jenny's family, though even my

995
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 6: dad told me to stick to my PuO pews. But

996
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:37,240
Speaker 6: then my wife came to me with a hard question.

997
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 6: Are we even better than Jenny if we're favoring some

998
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 6: kids over another just because we don't like their mom.

999
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 6: Before we were evening things out, but now we're obviously

1000
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 6: favoring the oldest three. She said it's my family and

1001
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 6: my decision, but asked me to think about the long

1002
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 6: term health of our family relationships.

1003
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 5: My gut says, take just the older three.

1004
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 6: But Daisy's only ten, Okay, so I don't know how

1005
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 6: old the older three are now.

1006
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 5: I don't know either one of them's old enough to drive? Yeah,

1007
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 5: and have an internship. Yeah, so I don't know. She's

1008
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 5: not to blame for her parents' behavior.

1009
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:13,720
Speaker 6: Would it make me an evil aunt?

1010
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 5: Leave her out?

1011
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 6: And there is an update, folks, A quick clarification. Daisy

1012
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 6: isn't constantly some Vruca Salt esque monster child. She can

1013
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 6: be a brat, but she's also funny and caring. She's

1014
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 6: the only grandchild who is stuck with the church choir

1015
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,720
Speaker 6: that my mom runs, even though I don't think.

1016
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 4: She loves it.

1017
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 6: Also, she always calls my wife and me on our birthdays,

1018
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 6: and when their dog was too old to go upstairs,

1019
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 6: she brought her mattress downstairs and slept next door every

1020
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,760
Speaker 6: night before she passed away so she wouldn't be lonely.

1021
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 6: People aren't cartoon villains, and please stop attacking a ten

1022
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 6: year old. I mean, oh, pie, you literally said that

1023
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 6: you kind of hated this tenment. Yeah, this ten year

1024
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 6: old sucks, right, our surprise that everyone is attacking this

1025
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 6: ten year old.

1026
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's like thing that you added those in there,

1027
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 5: because that last part is actually really sat No, I

1028
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 5: think it's important, but yeah, I mean, like, what do

1029
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 5: you expect from the internet.

1030
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1031
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 6: Sorry, I didn't reply to direct messages. I didn't feel

1032
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 6: comfortable doing that. I don't know if that account people

1033
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 6: were messaging me was Jenny's, and I honestly wouldn't change anything.

1034
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 6: I did change some small details for anonymity, and it

1035
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 6: would be a shame if there's more than one person

1036
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 6: out there like her. Just a reminder that I live

1037
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 6: half the world away a fifteen hour minimum plane ride,

1038
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 6: I can't just pop over, and there are time zone issues.

1039
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 6: I also do well for myself, but don't have unlimited money,

1040
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 6: so stop telling me to take Daisy on trial trips

1041
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 6: and buy a four bedroom house for the oldest three

1042
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 6: to live in. Lol Ooh, keep in mind I live

1043
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:48,720
Speaker 6: in remote, mostly rural areas, not bustling metropolises with vibrant

1044
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 6: expat communities and international schools. It's the nature of the job.

1045
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 6: I worked hard for it, and it's not conducive to

1046
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 6: having kids or young adults living with me. I'm not

1047
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 6: a messy person and I don't do social media drama,

1048
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 6: so I've been ignoring Jason and Jenny's little vague booking campaign.

1049
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 6: I wasn't even going to update until I got some

1050
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 6: background information, but basically, I got a call from my

1051
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 6: brother last weekend. It was Daisy Ryan telling me she

1052
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 6: would be good and she's sorry for being bad, that

1053
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 6: she wants to go on the trip, and promising she'll

1054
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 6: be quiet and not say anything rude. It was heartbreaking.

1055
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 6: Oh ah, her parents are so bad.

1056
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 5: I know.

1057
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 6: She was saying she was going to find a way

1058
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 6: to show me, my wife and her parents that she

1059
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 6: was good and not a bad person and everything would

1060
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 6: be okay.

1061
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:38,880
Speaker 3: Ah.

1062
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 6: I tried calming her down and assured her that both

1063
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 6: her aunts love her very much. And don't think she's

1064
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 6: a bad person at all. My brother took the phone

1065
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 6: and said, see what you've done?

1066
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 5: Oh my god?

1067
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 6: Wait no, no, was he just manipulating?

1068
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:52,720
Speaker 4: No?

1069
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 6: Did he go to little freaking Daisy and say, your

1070
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 6: aunt thinks you're a terrible person. She hates you and

1071
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 6: that's why you're not going on the trip. Go tell

1072
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 6: her you're upset about that. Because I bet he freaking did.

1073
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 5: That is so crazy, dude, He's.

1074
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 6: Literally like playing with his daughter, his ten year old

1075
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 6: daughter's emotions.

1076
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 5: Yeah. I tried calling back, but he didn't answer.

1077
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 6: I texted my mom as well as Jason Jeff to

1078
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 6: see what was going on. Of course, I wake up

1079
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 6: to a post about how cruel people can be to

1080
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 6: innocent children. Between my mom and Jeff, I got some

1081
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 6: background info. I don't know where all their money goes

1082
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 6: or what happened to Jenny's parents, but their financial situation

1083
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 6: is bad, as in asking my fixed, low income parents

1084
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 6: for money for Daisy's tuition.

1085
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 5: Bad dang, So they.

1086
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 6: Really, because they were seemingly pretty well off if they

1087
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 6: were paying for all of Daisy and her parents, like,

1088
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 6: if they were paying for all of Daisy in her parents'

1089
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,479
Speaker 6: vacations and now I have to ask for tuition help

1090
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 6: like that.

1091
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, clearly lost kind of.

1092
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 6: Everything, rightly. Jenny and my brother had told Daisy she'd

1093
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:59,880
Speaker 6: have to pick between vacation and her school, and she

1094
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 6: picked school. I'm sorry, what, but since it's taken Jenny

1095
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 6: longer than expected to find a job, they can no

1096
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 6: longer swing that either. I know you all think she's

1097
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 6: a little demon, but my heart broke for her with that.

1098
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,240
Speaker 6: And yes, I'm not getting into it because I'll rage

1099
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,359
Speaker 6: for too long. But the older three have always gone

1100
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,399
Speaker 6: to public school. I freaking called it. I do think

1101
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 6: it was Jenny's parents paying the tuition though. According to Jeff,

1102
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 6: Daisy is getting older and having more of her own

1103
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:29,479
Speaker 6: opinions and Jenny doesn't like that. Yeah, when she found

1104
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 6: out she couldn't go back to her school, she asked

1105
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 6: about a trip, and my brother told Jenny I had

1106
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 6: said no. She told Daisy she couldn't go because she

1107
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 6: was bad. Yep, call that too heartbreaking and just a

1108
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 6: plus parenting all around. Just these guys man, Yeah, these parents.

1109
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 5: So yeah, we need we need ope to call the

1110
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,320
Speaker 5: parents and be like, hey, love to talk to Daisy

1111
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:55,800
Speaker 5: and then tell Daisy, hey girl, that's not true.

1112
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,879
Speaker 6: Yes, say like, the only reason you know you haven't

1113
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 6: been going on these trips before is because you're parents

1114
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 6: didn't want to bring your siblings. Yeah, and so I

1115
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 6: want to do something special for them, And then I

1116
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 6: think that you shouldn't. I honestly think that you should

1117
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 6: take her. Sure, I think that if her other siblings

1118
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 6: are like, oh, why are you in fighting, Daisy, blah

1119
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 6: blah blah, it's.

1120
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 5: Like you guys are siblings.

1121
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1122
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 6: I don't think this is the end of all this.

1123
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 6: Jeff needs to be more discreet. But he told me

1124
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 6: Jenny was losing it because of botox and ozenthic withdrawal.

1125
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 5: Oh my wit.

1126
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,479
Speaker 6: He sounds like a nightmare. He did say the house

1127
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 6: wasn't as bad as you think. She mostly ignores them

1128
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 6: and continues that pattern. He works, and Hannah spent most

1129
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 6: of the summer at her best friend's house. One quick thing.

1130
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,320
Speaker 6: I know everyone is worried about my nephews and niece

1131
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 6: and think they live horrible, miserable lives, and this vacation

1132
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 6: is the only bright spot of the year. Yes, their

1133
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 6: lives are completely unfair and I feel awful for them,

1134
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 6: But They are happy kids from what Jason has told me.

1135
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 6: Since Jenny had Daisy, they've always kind of treated her

1136
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,360
Speaker 6: like an eccentric roommate that their weeb of a is

1137
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 6: sleeping whip. They're not all rude and screaming at one another,

1138
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 6: more polite indifference. They also do care a lot about

1139
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 6: Daisy and would never ask me to leave her at home.

1140
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 6: It's me that doesn't want to bring her because she

1141
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 6: needs a parent with her. And as Drill would say,

1142
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,280
Speaker 6: I would face God and walk backwards into heck before

1143
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 6: I ever invited, much less paid for Jenny to come

1144
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 6: with us.

1145
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 5: I don't think she does need a parent with her.

1146
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 5: Why does she need a parent with her?

1147
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:29,839
Speaker 6: If Jenny says I need to come along and say,

1148
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 6: oh sorry, I can't afford it.

1149
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 5: I'll take Daisy, but I can't afford to bring you guys.

1150
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 7: Along, Yeah exactly, there you go. Yeah, sorry, this is

1151
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 7: aunt and aunt in nibblings only. Yeah, yeah exactly. No,

1152
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 7: No mother's allowed.

1153
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 6: Sack.

1154
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 5: Hey y'all, it's John Ogi host here.

1155
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:47,880
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the story, but here's a

1156
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,800
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1157
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,720
Speaker 5: I want to press charges on my kid's aunt because

1158
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 5: she's trying to take advantage of me. You're under arrest.

1159
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,359
Speaker 5: I'm a thirty eight year old male and right after

1160
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 5: I got out of the military, I met my At

1161
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 5: the time, she was a nanny for a set of

1162
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 5: twins whose mother, Lydia, had undergone a double lung and

1163
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 5: kidney transplant right after they were born. Their father is

1164
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,439
Speaker 5: a heavy drinker who always promises to visit but never

1165
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:16,720
Speaker 5: shows up, or if he does, he's blaster. My wife

1166
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 5: started caring for the twins when they were eleven months old,

1167
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 5: before and after school while she attended college. Wow, by

1168
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 5: the way, this comes from Admirable Duty forty one and

1169
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1170
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 5: the r slash Okay storytime and sepredded. So when I

1171
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 5: started dating my wife, she said, hey, we're a package deal.

1172
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:36,640
Speaker 5: I didn't blink an eye and said let's go. The

1173
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 5: twins were amazing and took to me like bees to honey.

1174
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 5: Now A is the boy twin. We'll call him Alan, Sure, Sure?

1175
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 5: And Bee is a girl twin. What should her name be?

1176
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 4: Betty?

1177
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 5: Alan and Betty. As time went on, we'd hang out

1178
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 5: with them and take them on outings. They were our

1179
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:58,359
Speaker 5: flower girl and ring bear. At our wedding. Right after

1180
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 5: we got married, Lydia down and said her body was

1181
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,919
Speaker 5: rejecting her lungs and she didn't know how much time

1182
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 5: she had.

1183
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 6: Oh wow, and again Lydia is the mom.

1184
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 4: Yes.

1185
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 5: Yes, She had originally planned to have her sister Sachelle

1186
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 5: take the twins if something happened to her, but when

1187
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 5: Lydia told Sachelle about her body rejecting the lungs, Michelle responded, Okay, well,

1188
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 5: I'll take care of your money for you, but your

1189
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 5: kids need to go somewhere else.

1190
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 6: I'll take your money, but you're not your kids is

1191
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 6: crazy words.

1192
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 5: Yeah. When Lydia said she didn't have anywhere else for

1193
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 5: them to go, Schelle suggested foster care. That's when Lydia

1194
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 5: crazy work.

1195
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, like, yeah, okay, I understand that some people just

1196
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 6: can't take care of kids or like aren't equipped for

1197
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 6: the task. But to be like, I'll take your money,

1198
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 6: yeah I don't care about your kids.

1199
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 5: Here's the money, but uh yeah, no, that's that's pretty wild.

1200
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 5: That's when Lydia knew what she had to do. Later

1201
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 5: that day, after my wife put the twins to bed,

1202
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 5: Lydia asked if we would take and raise them of

1203
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 5: something happened to her. My wife said she needed to

1204
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 5: talk to me first. That night, when I got home

1205
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 5: from work, my wife said, hey, we need to have

1206
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 5: a talk and told me about Lydia's request. I immediately

1207
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 5: said heck yeah. She asked if I was sure, and

1208
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 5: I said our whole relationship has been with them, and

1209
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 5: I can't imagine one more day without them. Over the

1210
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 5: next month that Lydia arranged for us to take custody.

1211
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 5: We went to court, signed the paperwork, and officially became

1212
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 5: their guardians when the twins were six. Over the following months,

1213
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 5: Lydia started to stabilize, and we hoped she'd pull through

1214
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 5: and watch them grow into adults. My wife and I

1215
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 5: began having biological kids of our own, but included the

1216
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 5: twins in every milestone. Although the twins still lived with Lydia,

1217
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,919
Speaker 5: we made sure we were at every choir concert, wrestling match,

1218
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 5: track meet, scout troop, and volleyball competition. In September of

1219
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 5: last year, Lydia found out that she'd developed that had

1220
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 5: spread everywhere. Oh my goodness, God. Coast doctors said she'd

1221
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 5: be lucky to see Halloween and this is September. She

1222
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 5: found out. Oh, we'd prepared for this. We knew it

1223
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 5: would happen eventually, just not when the Sheelle started coming around.

1224
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 5: Mark In early October, Lydia, Sashell, and us sat down

1225
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 5: to discuss what would happen when she passed. Lydia decided

1226
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 5: that Michelle would handle the financial side and put all

1227
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 5: her money in a trust for the kids. Well, we'd

1228
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 5: take care of the children. We asked about the process

1229
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 5: of the kids needed anything, and Sachelle said, oh, you

1230
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 5: just text me, and if it's a need I think

1231
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 5: is legitimate, I'll pay for it. Dude, I don't trust

1232
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,920
Speaker 5: this at all. I'll trust that at all because I'm sorry,

1233
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 5: if we look at it super objectively, if the rules

1234
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 5: were reversed and Opie Sachelle like, I can understand not

1235
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 5: trusting someone else.

1236
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 6: Sure, I'd be like, yeah, I want to make sure

1237
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 6: that my sister's money is being handled properly and r

1238
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 6: notcket it, like you can't just ask for it for like,

1239
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 6: oh the kids need this when you're spending in on

1240
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:56,479
Speaker 6: like sure your own things.

1241
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:59,520
Speaker 5: You know, however, Yeah.

1242
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 6: When your sis says I don't want to take your kids,

1243
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 6: but I'll take your money. I don't trust her to

1244
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 6: give that money out fairly.

1245
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 2: No.

1246
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,439
Speaker 5: Also, yeah, because then if she doesn't want to take

1247
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 5: care of kids, how is she going to even know

1248
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 5: if it's in need that's legitimate? Yeah, what does she

1249
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 5: know about raising kids? Yeah?

1250
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 6: And also she wanted to take care of the money

1251
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 6: before ope was even the picture. She was saying, Oh,

1252
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 6: send them into foster care. I don't even think she

1253
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 6: was planning on giving that money.

1254
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 4: To the kid.

1255
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, probably not, so, like, what's to say that

1256
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 5: she would do that now?

1257
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1258
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,920
Speaker 5: So that's that's exactly where this is going. And I

1259
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 5: don't like it. This sounded off to us, but it's

1260
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 5: what Lydia wanted, and we'd figured we'd just pay for

1261
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 5: things ourselves if needed. Anyway, after that meeting, Lydia began

1262
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 5: declining aggressively. On or around December third, Sachelle had a

1263
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 5: conversation with Betty about Lydia's jewelry, diamonds, rings, necklaces, asking

1264
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 5: where Lydia kept the valuable items. When Betty said that

1265
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 5: she wasn't sure and asked why, Schelle said that she

1266
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 5: wanted to take them to a safety deposit at a

1267
01:01:00,720 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 5: bank for safekeeping to give to the twins later. Schelle

1268
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 5: then told Betty that the doctor had increased Lydia's medication,

1269
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,919
Speaker 5: so she'd be passing away in the next day or two.

1270
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 5: Is she telling the truth? I don't know, but she's

1271
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 5: literally telling a child this. I don't know if she's

1272
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,439
Speaker 5: telling the truth. I why would not believe her?

1273
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:22,600
Speaker 6: I feel like she's like lying so that Betty tells

1274
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 6: her where the jewelry is.

1275
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 5: Yeah. Upon investigation, there was no medication increase by any doctor.

1276
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,800
Speaker 5: Later that day, I went to check on Lydia and

1277
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,080
Speaker 5: the twins. When I walked into the house, I saw

1278
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 5: Sachelle putting jewelry into her bag. I asked what she

1279
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 5: was doing, and she said that she was taking the

1280
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 5: jewelry to put into a safety deposit box with a

1281
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 5: kid's safety. I asked which bank she was taking it to,

1282
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,080
Speaker 5: but she ignored the question. I then asked if Lydia

1283
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 5: knew that she was taking the jewelry, and Schelle stated, well,

1284
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 5: the mom doesn't know what's going on, so it's not

1285
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 5: her decision. I told her she's not gone or unconscious,

1286
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 5: and she does have a set day. I went to

1287
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 5: ask Lydia about it, but she was asleep from morphine

1288
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 5: that had been given to her earlier by either Sachelle

1289
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:10,000
Speaker 5: or Lydia's father. I asked what else had been taken

1290
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 5: from the house without Lydia's knowledge. Sachelle said that she

1291
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 5: was the executor of the will and in charge of everything. Anyway,

1292
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 5: I explained that nothing should be taken without Lydia's or

1293
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 5: the kid's consent. It was at this point that the

1294
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 5: hospice company noticed an increase in the morphine administered by

1295
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 5: Sachelle or Lydia's father. Adult Protective Services was called to investigate.

1296
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 5: Adult Protective Services instructed them to allow access to anyone

1297
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:38,800
Speaker 5: Lydia wanted to state, including friends, family, nurses, and attorneys.

1298
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 5: Once Lydia evened out from the over medication, she asked,

1299
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,919
Speaker 5: what's going on? Nobody is telling me anything. Betty told

1300
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 5: her everything that had been happening. Lydia called Sachelle, who

1301
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 5: said that she'd do whatever Lydia wanted, that it was

1302
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 5: all Lydia's money, including investments and bank accounts, to be

1303
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 5: put in the trust for the kids. That's when Lydia

1304
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 5: called her attorney back so that she wanted to change

1305
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 5: the will to list to me as sole executor and

1306
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 5: my wife and me as trustees of the trust for

1307
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 5: the twins. It's clear.

1308
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 6: I mean, she's like maybe bodily not able to do

1309
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:13,840
Speaker 6: a lot, but like mentally it seems like she's still fine.

1310
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 5: Yeah. And to find out that.

1311
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 6: Your sister has been giving you way more morphine that

1312
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 6: you're supposed to be getting, yeah, stealing your jewelry. Like

1313
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 6: if I were lady, I'd be like.

1314
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't literally my executor. Yeah, this kid, Betty

1315
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:28,919
Speaker 5: is like, you know, can't help but being honest because

1316
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 5: she's a child. I forget how old, but she seems

1317
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 5: a little older than I thought. But anyway, Betty's like

1318
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:38,440
Speaker 5: spilling all the tea and then she's hearing all the lies,

1319
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 5: seeing straight through it. It's a shell. Can't get away

1320
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 5: with this one. In the early hours of January fifth,

1321
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 5: Lydia called the twins into her room and said happy

1322
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 5: birthday and one last goodbye. She got to see them

1323
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 5: turn fifteen. It was a tough rest of the day.

1324
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 5: As the day is led up to the funeral, we

1325
01:03:56,920 --> 01:04:00,200
Speaker 5: heard rumors from family members that Sachelle was planning something.

1326
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 5: The day of the funeral, Sechelle attempted to block the

1327
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 5: twins in US from attending. I spoke to the funeral director,

1328
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 5: who told her that that wasn't going to happen. She

1329
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 5: sat in the back and sold while the twins and

1330
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:16,120
Speaker 5: us grieved for their mom. After the funeral, I was

1331
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 5: appointed sole executor of Lydia's will and estate. I asked

1332
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 5: the judge what could be done if Sechelle wouldn't return

1333
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 5: the items, and he said that he could help with

1334
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 5: the court order. Since Lydia's passing, we've reached out to

1335
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 5: Schelle to get all items taken from the house without

1336
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 5: consent returned. This includes the jewelry, vehicle titles, keys to

1337
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:39,040
Speaker 5: Lydia's residence, copies of the children's Social Security cards and

1338
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 5: birth certificates, and one hundred and eighty thousand dollars that

1339
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 5: was in Lydia's bank accounts that Sachelle transferred to her

1340
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 5: own account. Yeah, get all that back. Michelle has admitted

1341
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 5: to having the jewelry to Lydia's attorney, but says that

1342
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 5: she just doesn't want to give it back. I filed

1343
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 5: a theft report and it's waiting on the d to

1344
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 5: decide if they'll press charges. There are some comments, but

1345
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 5: before we hear those, I would love to hear yours, dude.

1346
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:09,120
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't even I feel like you guys

1347
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 6: are going ahead as as well as you could be. Yeah,

1348
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:16,439
Speaker 6: because she's actively just trying to steal everything from her

1349
01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 6: like deceased sister.

1350
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1351
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 5: Literally, the attorneys are like, hey, can you like give

1352
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 5: back the money that you took and without consent, She's like, eh, yes,

1353
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 5: I did take it.

1354
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I'm gonna keep it. But I do I

1355
01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:33,720
Speaker 6: want it though. I want to because I want it.

1356
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 6: I don't know if you consider.

1357
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 5: That right, Like I thought that was like that would

1358
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 5: hold up.

1359
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 6: And yeah, man, why did you take the money? I

1360
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:44,760
Speaker 6: wanted it.

1361
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:48,720
Speaker 5: Like your honor, I just like it. Pretty I robbed

1362
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:52,439
Speaker 5: the bank because I wanted to. I don't I don't

1363
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 5: see what the problem is.

1364
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 4: Your honor.

1365
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 5: I plead not guilty. But there are some comments coming.

1366
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 5: Number one says no, a hole, and thank you for

1367
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 5: fighting for these children. I hope everything works out in

1368
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:08,160
Speaker 5: these children's favor. I was wondering, though, is Schelle not

1369
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:11,680
Speaker 5: going to face any charges for increasing the mother's dosage

1370
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 5: to take her possessions without permission? Did APS not consider

1371
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 5: this a criminal act? Will the judge who ordered the

1372
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 5: return of the items and money consider this an arrestable offense?

1373
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:27,280
Speaker 5: How long does she have until there is warrant? I'll

1374
01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 5: be keeping an eye out for an update. Wishing you

1375
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 5: and the children the strength to be able to grieve safely. Sorry,

1376
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:35,760
Speaker 5: if these are too many questions, obviously, please don't answer

1377
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 5: if you don't want to have a wonderful day with

1378
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:41,720
Speaker 5: your family. Common an OPI response. APS dropped the case

1379
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 5: when the mom passed, which blew my mind. T who

1380
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:48,880
Speaker 5: I'm guessing is some sort of attorney in the situation, said, Oh,

1381
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,360
Speaker 5: we only file charges if she was still doing it.

1382
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:53,960
Speaker 5: I'm working on it. But the lawyer that Sachelle has

1383
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:57,040
Speaker 5: was the old district attorney in the DA's office, said

1384
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 5: that they trust him to convince her to give it back.

1385
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 5: Of a truly common two says not the A. Hills

1386
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:05,120
Speaker 5: sounds to me that pursuing a legal remedy is your

1387
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 5: only viable option, so shall it sounds like a piece

1388
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:09,760
Speaker 5: of work that can only be trusted to put her

1389
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:13,800
Speaker 5: own interests before anyone else's. NOP responds, that's if the

1390
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,960
Speaker 5: DA will press charges. Common Number three says not the

1391
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 5: a whole. Unfortunately, Lydia Rest in Peace should have had

1392
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:24,560
Speaker 5: the trust administered by a neutral third party, including access

1393
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:28,920
Speaker 5: to valuables in a safe deposit box, itemized and listed

1394
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 5: in the trust. The important part is you have been

1395
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 5: in our family to these children. Just make sure to

1396
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 5: do things without malice through your attorney. One eighty K

1397
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:39,840
Speaker 5: is no small amount of money. You have to follow

1398
01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:43,400
Speaker 5: through legally, OPI says, yes, I wish the mom would

1399
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:46,480
Speaker 5: have listed items specifically and when she passed, had all

1400
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 5: her accounts be listed as paid on passing to the trust.

1401
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:53,520
Speaker 5: But that's what the aunt was supposed to do, and

1402
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:55,240
Speaker 5: that's it. That's all we got.

1403
01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:57,360
Speaker 4: My gosh, you don't have an update.

1404
01:07:57,560 --> 01:08:01,800
Speaker 5: Oh man, that's all right, Dane, Well, good luck O

1405
01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 5: P would luck o P. I mean props to you

1406
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,640
Speaker 5: for really taking care of these kids.

1407
01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 6: That I mean, like it really feels like op he

1408
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:14,920
Speaker 6: started dating his partner, was told that these the kids

1409
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 6: were like part of the deal, and then it was

1410
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:21,639
Speaker 6: like yeah, totally on board. And then was told like, okay,

1411
01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:25,680
Speaker 6: we're literally going to become guardians to these kids, and I

1412
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:28,679
Speaker 6: was like yeah, let's do it, and then was told

1413
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,720
Speaker 6: that the mother was passing away so they'd have to

1414
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:32,360
Speaker 6: like literally adopt these kids.

1415
01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:36,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, a lot, but you did.

1416
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:36,800
Speaker 4: Doing really well.

1417
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,000
Speaker 5: You're yeah, you're definitely doing the right thing.