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Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight. We got it for you

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Speaker 1: here at ease, all right. Subject my husband's play daughter.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for ten years. We

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Speaker 1: don't have any children together, but my husband has two

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Speaker 1: grown kids and another plate daughter, yes, a plate daughter.

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Speaker 1: Before we got married, he had an ex girlfriend and

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Speaker 1: started dating her when her daughter was only two years old,

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Speaker 1: so he became really close to the little girl. The

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Speaker 1: girl even calls him daddy. When she was younger, he

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Speaker 1: taught her how to ride a bike, They went bowling

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Speaker 1: off in school, shopping, and he would help her mom

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Speaker 1: up financially with things the child needed. The play daughter

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Speaker 1: started coming over to our house for visits about four

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Speaker 1: years ago, and the first few visits were fine, but

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Speaker 1: as she got older, she would go back to her

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Speaker 1: mom and report what was going on in my house.

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Speaker 1: I would get calls from the mom telling me that

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Speaker 1: I was mean to her child and made her feel

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Speaker 1: like I did not want her around. I have never

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Speaker 1: been mean to this child, but I knew the moment

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Speaker 1: I started telling her no, it was going to be

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Speaker 1: a problem. I told my husband that it had become

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Speaker 1: too much of a mess with the child's mom. Therefore,

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Speaker 1: his play daughter was no longer welcome at our house.

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Speaker 1: Now there's an ongoing battle with my husband and the

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Speaker 1: play daughter's mother because she can't come over. My husband

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Speaker 1: seems to think I'm wrong. I didn't ask him to

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Speaker 1: cut all ties with the girl. I just don't want

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Speaker 1: her staying overnight at my house. Deep down, I do

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Speaker 1: want my husband to stop taking care of this child

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Speaker 1: and cut off the mom completely. But I don't want

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Speaker 1: to seem selfish. How can I get my husband to

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Speaker 1: back away so we can stop all the drama in

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Speaker 1: our marriage? Am I wrong in any way? I say, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not wrong. I mean kids need to be told no.

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Speaker 1: I will say that you know, what your husband has

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Speaker 1: done in this little girl's life is definitely commendable and respectable.

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Speaker 1: He's not the girl's biological father, but he's known as

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Speaker 1: two years old, he's taught her how to ride a bike.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he did all the things that a father

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Speaker 1: would do. But now the situation is different. That is

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Speaker 1: no longer her mom, is no longer his girlfriend. They're

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Speaker 1: no longer together. I say, it's your house that your husband.

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Speaker 1: The mom should be grateful. This mom should be grateful.

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Speaker 1: That you welcome and you still welcome the daughter into

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Speaker 1: your home at all, because you certainly didn't have to

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Speaker 1: do that. You didn't. I mean, you're being kind because

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Speaker 1: you know of the relationship your husband has with the girl.

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Speaker 1: But I just have to say, where is he in

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Speaker 1: all of this? I mean, his support and loyalty to

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Speaker 1: be should be to you first and no one else.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't understand how you're wrong in this

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Speaker 1: to him. His so called play daughter is out of line.

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Speaker 1: If she's going back, running back, telling her mom what's

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Speaker 1: going on, especially if all you're doing is telling her no.

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Speaker 1: You said in the letter you've never been mean to

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Speaker 1: this child, So that's what I'm going with. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like the daughter, this behavior sounds like she got it

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Speaker 1: from her mom. I mean, I think your husband needs

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Speaker 1: to check the mom. I think he needs to check

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Speaker 1: his play daughter. When she called you the mom, he

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Speaker 1: should have just gotten on the phone and told her

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Speaker 1: to you know, stop talking to you like this. Don't

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Speaker 1: be talking to his wife, you know, crazy in all

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Speaker 1: of this, And to teach her daughter some respect in

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Speaker 1: this situation. I mean, it's a different situation now you're married. Never,

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Speaker 1: never should she be allowed to behave you know, to

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Speaker 1: you disrespectfully and you know you guys should be able

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Speaker 1: to work on a good relationship. It sounds like you

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Speaker 1: had that until she got older. And you know what,

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Speaker 1: I just think that's what a father would do if

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Speaker 1: no matter what, if it's a real father, if it's

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Speaker 1: a play father, I think you need to step up

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Speaker 1: and handle this situation and don't let anyone disrespect your wife. Steve, Oh, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: You're correct to an extent. But the question at the

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Speaker 1: lay he poses at the end of the letter, am

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Speaker 1: I wrong in any way? Of course she is. Of

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Speaker 1: course she's wrong, because really the whole purpose of this

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Speaker 1: letter is is because she hates the tie that this

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Speaker 1: man has to the X and the fact that they've

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Speaker 1: been married ten years, don't have any children together. Now,

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Speaker 1: the one child that keeps coming over here is a

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Speaker 1: baby from the ex girlfriend that he had when he

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Speaker 1: was dating her and the daughter was two years old.

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Speaker 1: That's what this letter is really about. So now before

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Speaker 1: we start dogging the man out saying what he ain't,

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Speaker 1: let's just talk about what the man is for a moment.

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Speaker 1: Here as a man who formed a relationship with a

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Speaker 1: child because of his ex. Now him and the ex

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Speaker 1: ain't together, but he stayed close to the child because

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Speaker 1: the child started calling him daddy. The little girl might

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Speaker 1: not even know who her real father is, but this

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Speaker 1: one right here calls him daddy. When she was younger,

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Speaker 1: he taught her how to ride a bike. They went

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Speaker 1: bowling off to school, shopping. He would help her mom

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Speaker 1: out financially with things that the child needed. The play

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Speaker 1: daughter started coming over to our house to visit about

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Speaker 1: four years ago. Now, I'm just doing the math. If

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Speaker 1: they met the little baby when she was two, and

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Speaker 1: she'd been coming over four years ago, and y'all been

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Speaker 1: married ten years, the little girl is somewhere between six

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Speaker 1: and ten, six and ten, somewhere like that. Now she

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Speaker 1: started coming over, the first few visits were fine, just

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Speaker 1: a few visits. You was able to take this for

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Speaker 1: just a few visits. Then you said the first few

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Speaker 1: visits were fine, But as she got older, she would

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Speaker 1: go back to her mom and report what was going

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Speaker 1: on my house. I get called from mom telling me

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Speaker 1: I was mean to a child, made it feel like

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Speaker 1: she didn't want around. Now, I think the part that's

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Speaker 1: true is that you've made the child feel like you

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Speaker 1: don't want her around, and you know why I can't

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Speaker 1: believe that because you said at the end of your letter,

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Speaker 1: I do want my husband to stop taking care of

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Speaker 1: this child and cut off the mom completely. But I

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Speaker 1: don't want to seem selfish. Now help me understand. You

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Speaker 1: want the man to cut the little girl off. Don't

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Speaker 1: come over here no more. Let me calling me daddy,

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Speaker 1: cut the mom off completely, don't help this little child

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Speaker 1: out no more. But I don't want to see him selfish.

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Speaker 1: How can I get my husband the back away so

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Speaker 1: we can stop all the drama in our marriage? Am

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Speaker 1: I wrong in any way? Well, here's the part where

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Speaker 1: you're wrong. The relationship with the child went on before

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Speaker 1: you all got married and before you all started dating,

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Speaker 1: because this was his girlfriend's two year old at the time.

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Speaker 1: So this has been going on and he's remained close

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Speaker 1: in the girl's life, taught how to ride a bike,

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Speaker 1: take a school, shopping, a little girl called him daddy.

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Speaker 1: It ain't a little girl's fault, So now he just

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Speaker 1: being a good dude. He given a girl, a child

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Speaker 1: who may or may not know her father, but it

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Speaker 1: looks at him as her daddy, and they've had this

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Speaker 1: own going relationship. You knew that when you married him.

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Speaker 1: You thought you could deal with it, and you said

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Speaker 1: it was cool. And then but you said, the first

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Speaker 1: few visits will find just a few. Now that's you.

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Speaker 1: That's about three? What a few? About three? Yea? But

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Speaker 1: then she would tell her mom what's going on in

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Speaker 1: my house because that's what kids do, because mom's gonna

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Speaker 1: ask what's the house? Like kids? She clean? Can't she cook? Yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Then you get called from the mom telling me that

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Speaker 1: you was mean to her child and made her feel

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Speaker 1: like you didn't want her to come around, and quite

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Speaker 1: possibly could have because I'm gonna go back to the

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Speaker 1: end of the letter. I do not want my husband.

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Speaker 1: I do want my husband stop taking care of this

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Speaker 1: child and cut off the mom completely. But I don't

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Speaker 1: want to see him selfish. Then you say, I've never

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Speaker 1: been mean to this child. You ain't really been all

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Speaker 1: that inviting. But I knew the moment I started telling

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Speaker 1: her noise was gonna be a problem. I told my

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Speaker 1: husband that it had become too much of a mess

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Speaker 1: with this child's mom. Thatfore his play daughter was no

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Speaker 1: longer welcome in our house. Wow, that's tough, now, because

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Speaker 1: we remember this man had this relationship with this child

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Speaker 1: before you all got married. He told you about it.

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Speaker 1: He didn't spring it on you. He told you about it.

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Speaker 1: He told you that he taught her how to ride

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Speaker 1: a bike. He told you he should take a school shopping,

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Speaker 1: they go bowling. He told you all this. You said, Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's sweet of you. I love you. Will you marry me? Yes?

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Speaker 1: You have a problem had now first few visits you

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Speaker 1: stomached it. What this letter is about is you hate

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Speaker 1: the tie that he has to his ex and the

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Speaker 1: memory that comes with the child that this is from

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Speaker 1: his previous relationship. And I think it also plays in

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Speaker 1: the fact that y'all don't have any children together. You

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Speaker 1: stayed at that at the top. I've been married for

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Speaker 1: ten years. We don't have any children together. But now

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Speaker 1: I don't think the man is completely wrong. Now I

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Speaker 1: do agree with you where you said he should call

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Speaker 1: his ex girlfriend and say, hey, what you cannot do

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Speaker 1: is call over here talking to my wife now telling

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Speaker 1: her how to be in her own house. That you

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Speaker 1: cannot do because this is this woman's house. She should

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Speaker 1: he cut off ties with that little girl. I don't

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Speaker 1: think that would be right. I just don't think it

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Speaker 1: would be right. Man. How many times do men get

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Speaker 1: beat up and ridicule for not taking care of their child.

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Speaker 1: Then a man come in and take care of some

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Speaker 1: dead beat dude that ain't doing nothing for his baby.

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Speaker 1: He take on the role, and now they even fell

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Speaker 1: in love with each other. I think it's a great thing.

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Speaker 1: You're right that he's taking care of this young girl.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a great thing. But she hates the

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Speaker 1: fact that it's a play daughter, and the mother hates

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Speaker 1: the fact that he married this woman instead of her. Hello, Hello,

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Speaker 1: So the grown ups, it's gonna mess up this child's

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Speaker 1: relationship with this man because the wife doesn't want the drama.

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Speaker 1: She don't want him taking care of this baby for

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Speaker 1: this woman, and they don't have a child together. That's

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Speaker 1: what I think it is. All right, Well, we have

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Speaker 1: to go post your comments to Today's Strawberry Letter on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook at Steve Harvey FM and check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show