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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is to avoid starting conversations with that seemingly

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Speaker 1: innocuous phrase, what do you do? There are plenty of

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Speaker 1: reasons this phrase is problematic for starters. Not everyone works

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Speaker 1: in a traditional job. Even people who normally do might

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Speaker 1: not be doing so now. Someone might be newly unemployed,

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Speaker 1: or might be disillusioned with their current job and just

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Speaker 1: not want to talk about it. People who are full

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Speaker 1: time caregivers report the glaze that comes over some people's

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Speaker 1: eyes when they mentioned staying home with kids or looking

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Speaker 1: after an elderly relative. Of course, plenty of people know.

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Speaker 1: What do you do? Might be perceived as a rude

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Speaker 1: question outside of professional networking events, but a lot of

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Speaker 1: the substitute questions aren't better. Where do you live? Won't

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Speaker 1: lead to a fruitful con versation unless the event you're

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Speaker 1: attending draws people from very far afield. And then there's

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Speaker 1: this gem, what's keeping you busy these days? I understand

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Speaker 1: and appreciate the implication that passions extend beyond paid work,

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Speaker 1: but oh, that word busy. It leads us to talk

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Speaker 1: about how much we have going on, and if we

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Speaker 1: have so much going on, we don't have space for

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Speaker 1: the new relationship that could result from this conversation, do we. Fortunately,

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Speaker 1: there are lots of better ways to start conversations. You

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Speaker 1: and the person you're speaking with are both at the

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Speaker 1: event for a reason, so setting out that connection will

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Speaker 1: create automatic common ground. If you're at Dave's birthday party,

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Speaker 1: how do you know Dave? Clearly the person does, or

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Speaker 1: at least know someone who knows Dave, so this can

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Speaker 1: lead the conversation to Dave related places. At a regular

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Speaker 1: social or community gathering, have you been to one of

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Speaker 1: these before? If not, you can welcome the person and

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Speaker 1: make sure they feel at home by explaining any nuances.

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Speaker 1: If yes, you can talk about past events you both attended.

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Speaker 1: If you're new, you can ask questions about anything your

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Speaker 1: conversation partner thinks you should know. The weather is not

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Speaker 1: so exciting unless it really is. If you all just

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Speaker 1: live through a hurricane, feel free to discuss. But one

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Speaker 1: fruitful avenue is to ask the other person for advice

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Speaker 1: and recommendations, as long as you're pretty sure there will

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Speaker 1: be forthcoming advice in that category. I don't watch much

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Speaker 1: TV or mini movies, so I'm pretty much useless there,

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Speaker 1: though at least I know what movies are in theaters

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Speaker 1: thanks to my twelve year old box office prediction obsession.

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Speaker 1: I love to ask about books I should read, but

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Speaker 1: this requires an assumption that everyone at the party makes

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Speaker 1: a habit of reading books, which may not be all

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Speaker 1: the case. But most people eat out on occasion or

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Speaker 1: have in the past, so if you're all from the

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Speaker 1: same area, you could say you're looking to celebrate a

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Speaker 1: special occasion and would love a restaurant recommendation, or here's

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Speaker 1: another good one. You're hoping to do a short weekend getaway.

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Speaker 1: What would your conversation partner recommend within a three hour radius.

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Speaker 1: That last question allows your conversation partner to tell stories

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Speaker 1: about his or her weekend adventures. From this, you'll pick

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Speaker 1: up on all sorts of potential commonalities, an interest in

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Speaker 1: adventure or food or outdoor activities, or that you both

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Speaker 1: have kids, or often traveling groups with extended family. Most likely,

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Speaker 1: the person will mention what he or she does professionally

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Speaker 1: at some point in there, but it's part of a

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Speaker 1: richer conversation, which means it feels less like a job interview,

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Speaker 1: and job interviews are never fun when you're supposed to

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Speaker 1: be at a party, How do you start conversations? Please

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Speaker 1: let me know at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media

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Speaker 1: dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: listening and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

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Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast

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Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.