WEBVTT - Ep. 365: Full-Time Lesbian (Ft. Mal Glowenke) 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:08.560 Guess what decision We're about to make? Horrible decision? How 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:11.280 do everybody? We have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:13.560 are going to be in Dallas, Texas Memorial Day weekend, 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:15.880 which is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:18.160 together Land Festival, and you bitch is better than how 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:20.279 No motherfucker work on Sunday? Call out ho? 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:23.400 I mean you could do that, but also it's a 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:25.959 three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:29.000 you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival. 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:31.240 Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:35.280 live on the podcast stage. That's May twenty six. 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:40.200 Get your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Hey guys, 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:45.360 welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I'm your girl, 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:51.040 Mandy b I'm weezy ooh like you put, I don't anyway, 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.720 I'm weasy. And it's women's history months, so to be fair, 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:59.320 we had women of all different colors and creeds. But 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.040 the reason we have our guests on is because honestly, 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:04.560 I just love the content you're making in your clips. 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:07.479 And I saw that Mandy liked one, and Mandy normally 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:08.760 don't like have a white guest when I'm like, oh, 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:10.279 Mandy liked some so I. 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:12.399 Like the one where I only saw a black girl 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:15.520 on So when she said you know this girl, I said, no, don't. 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:18.960 We have now on the pod. Jesus right by the way, 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.959 before we just started this goddamn episode, we just had 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:26.360 a full dissection of Mouth's shoes because I am convinced 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:28.240 they were regifted to her. She said they got she 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.680 got them from a black person. They are like, they 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:32.640 are boots. 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:37.160 They are boots the Air Force one, Air Force one 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:41.839 combat boots. But they're black. That's lesbian. It is. Yeah, 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:44.759 She's kind of right, it is, and maybe that's why 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:49.240 they were gifted to you. Okay, I don't know she gay? Yeah, okay, 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:52.440 did you guys? Fuck? No, Oh, we've been friends since 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.000 like middle school. I don't think she was a shooter 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:58.840 because who else is buying black Air Force one? Like 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:00.720 I need to know. You might need to ask her 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:02.800 if she got weapons in her house. Oh my god, 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.600 I I'm shocked. I'm not about to ask my black 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:10.320 friend and favorite guy. No, seriously, y'all, I'm looking at 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:12.080 me like I'm a little scared of you. I ain't 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:13.760 even gonna hold you mount. But you know, I don't 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:15.600 know how you get down, but them shoes say you 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:17.360 get down a certain way. That's all I'm gonna say. 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:20.160 That's why we like it so far. So now your 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.640 podcast called Made It Out, tell me a little bit 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:24.919 about your show cause it's new, right, Yeah, it's very new. 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.000 It's like two months old. How you got your ship 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.880 offer like that, I honestly don't know. We do it 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.520 out of our bedroom. It's me and my girlfriend. I'm 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.880 from Texas, so I have a lot of gay closet 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.239 trauma and I just sit on my couch and get 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:39.880 drunk and. 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:41.880 Talk about you really got out of there right before 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.360 they really started fucking over all the laws. Let me 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:47.520 get my gut out of here. I'm deeply connected to 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.560 my guts. My goodness. Yeah, Texas is one of those 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:51.239 where I love. 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:54.360 So I go to Dallas Everythanksgiving and as much as 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.200 I'm like, dang, I like the house to see I'm like, 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.200 but Texas is one of those states now, especially that 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:01.280 they just want to keep paying away all women's rights. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:05.000 But I just don't feel like makes sense. It doesn't. 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:09.000 Everybody's out. Yeah you you they say that but then 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:10.200 you get there and you're like and. 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:15.079 You're like, still it's still racist. It's giving Florida two 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:15.519 point out. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.720 Yeah, we're in Texas room Dallas, Dallas. Oh yeah, I 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:21.360 lived in Dallas and it's I lived in the city. 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:22.880 But it's so pretentious. 0:03:22.919 --> 0:03:25.120 It's old money. Yeah, oh it is old Yeah. 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:28.640 So it's definitely still giving that that feeling. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:30.799 And so made it out is about you coming out 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:35.000 of the closet as of your full blown lesbians. 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:40.360 Are you gold star? No, you've had dick before, not 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:45.440 even at all. That's how I know I'm gay. See. 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:46.920 I had a girlfriend for a few years and I 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.280 was like, right off, probably the eighth month of eating pussy, 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.040 I was like, we should have a Facebook. 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:56.280 Do you know how gay I am? I literally don't 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.280 even like the strap. Oh that's gay gay that was me. 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:00.000 You're real good. 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:03.320 Oh you don't like penetration because it feels too much 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:04.920 like sex of men. 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.920 Oh you Oh, they hurt you. No, I'm gonna tell 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.360 you something though. Most women I know that are gay 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:14.520 gay don't like strapping either. Most women I know that 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.360 deuce strap are fucking someone that used to fuck men, 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:20.320 and they feel that it's something they're looking for. 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:23.000 But that's how I know I'm really gay. I've only 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:25.120 been strapped by a woman, and I strapped men. 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:27.520 But I have a woman. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:31.560 That's crazy. I've only been strapped by a woman. But 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.120 because I'm like, no, bitch, I need some penetration, right, 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:36.440 But I've said that too. I don't come with head, 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:39.039 I come with penetration, so I need the dick. So 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.320 for you, you came out with age fully twenty eight. 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:45.240 Oh you came out late. How do you know? I'm thirty. 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.039 I came out two years ago. How long had you 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:50.359 been gay? Because you came out at twenty eight? This 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:51.920 is funny? How long you being? How long have I've 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:52.279 been gay? 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.800 I've known I was gay since like little really, likely 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:57.880 four or five years old. When you're playing house and 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.560 you're like, oh my god, that's when I like, I 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:02.520 mean hunt. We all hunt our friends. 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:04.880 Tell no, I don't. I don't think we do. You don't. 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:10.120 I think everyone has hunched their friends. You're gay. I 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.680 really can't ask Danny, but I think all women at 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.040 one point have hunched. They went from teddy bears to 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.120 their homegirls, and they didn't know what they were doing. 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:19.680 But everybody's like done dry hunk. I don't think that's 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:24.279 common for people that are straight, though, I think so. 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.640 I think we all do. We know anyone who we called? 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:32.159 But does it? That's not don't die bitch? 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:34.960 Everybody hunt each other because my homegirl that's not gay 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:36.800 now got three kids, and I hunched her. 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:40.960 But she's straight. Well maybe that's the four. Maybe it's 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.040 like either. That's when you figure it out. 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.280 When you a little girl, you figure out if you 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:48.560 like bitch. We almost got caught by our dad. 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.080 She came in bitch. She was playing school and we 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:56.320 done rolled off the bed. Ah, we just playing in school? 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.159 What school? No? 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:00.440 School is like when you got the teacher, the kid, 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:02.280 want somebody teaching the other lesson? 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:06.120 But what oh yeah, why does advanced? We were like, 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:11.440 oh was it role playing too early? Yeah? I mean, 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.920 I'm just saying you look like a teacher now. And 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:15.479 I don't say we've done. We've done. 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.359 Like I used to draw home like boys too. We 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:20.760 did mother daughter and then someone. 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:21.919 Was the kid and the kid was the one we 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:23.920 ate want we would be in the closet because we're 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:27.719 the adults. We have our own room. Okay, I definitely 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:36.320 played House. We say not school House said. So, you 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:38.719 describe your podcast as wanting to push the gay agenda, 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.360 but what is it? What's the gay agenda? Do you 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.240 feel like there's too many maybe, uh, male driven gay 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.560 podcasts because I always feel like I'm seeing a lot 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.240 of gay podcasts for men, but maybe lesbians. I don't. Actually, 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:51.440 there's not We've had something, but not as much, not 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:51.800 as much. 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:55.240 There is not enough lesbian content period, There's nothing. There's 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.640 the L word. There's a couple of lesbian podcasts, but yeah, 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:00.880 but like, what can you actually say? 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:03.279 Because we love the gay they gave us makeup, you 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:05.640 know what I mean, Like we can't stop thinking about it. 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.400 But for lesbians, I feel like you're right, we're not 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:09.440 seeing enough because. 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:21.280 Lesbians, we don't want any more lesli content. It is 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:25.440 the shoes, I guess that's I mean, Okay. 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:26.360 They gave about it. We do. 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:31.400 Gay men, yes, and not necessarily the lesbians, and oh 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:32.600 my god, is that the patriarchy? 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:33.400 But keep going? 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:36.000 Yes, I actually think so. I think that being a 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:39.480 lesbian is the ultimate rebellion. It's like, fuck men, I 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.200 don't want anything to do with you. I don't need you, 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:46.280 So why would the patriarchy want to put all women 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:47.160 content out there? 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:48.760 You're right, Oh hmm. 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:52.800 So it's like, let's make stuff that's only for women, 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:54.120 you know, women. 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:56.440 Who have women want I did want to ask you something. 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.240 How will you then open up? Will it forever will 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:02.000 only be lesbians? Will you let get a little queer? 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:03.840 We have some trans people on there, some non binary. 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.400 How do you envision it? Because when we first started, well, 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.240 trans women can be lesbian. No, I know, I'm just 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:11.280 saying trans people, like, do you think you'll just grow 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:14.280 into the umbrella of LGBTQ because our show has evolved 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.320 a lot over eight years. So I'm curious that you're 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:22.200 here and it is a black pot, But can I 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:25.520 learn about your shit? Man? He said? Yesterday we were 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:28.160 in a goddamn rob Someone sent us a whole mail 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.200 and the guy said, oh, my girl wants to take 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:32.480 me to Africa, but she's white, man, he said, be 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:38.559 out there building the village. Oh no, and am better? 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.280 So no, you're you're not the woman you were to yesterday. No, 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.319 but no, you really, like, what do you think this 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.160 spot is going to happen? Because can it really be 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.800 entirely lesbians. Are you going to try to honor that 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:49.240 or what have you envisioned for it? 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.080 I think when we started it was it was a 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:54.000 ten episode series on coming out. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:54.640 That's all it was. 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:57.440 Oh, it was going to be we had identified like 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.920 ten or twelve. Actually kind of very distinct steps in 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.719 the coming out process that a lot of us had experienced. 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:07.559 What oh, God put me on the spot. 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:12.240 Yeah, maybe, just like religion, like dealing with religious struggles, 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:14.680 dealing with culture, the kind of am I by? 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.160 Am I gay? Moment? Just these very. 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:20.840 Distinct steps of like you have never the process that 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:21.559 you go through. 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:23.920 Oh, I knew I was by How do you question that? 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:26.920 Like if you like Dick amplicy, you buy and not gay? 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:28.679 Oh you must have had it because you were with him. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.280 I yeah, I think I went through like a very 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:35.120 because I lived in Texas, it was very normal to 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:37.600 be married and have kids by twenty five, and so 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:39.320 I was very much on that track. 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:40.240 I was like, I. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.280 Had a house, cars, a bank account with a guy 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.520 like I was in it deep and then I found 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:48.200 out he had a kid. I didn't know about three 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:49.960 and a half years into the relationship. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.839 Love a double life. We'll do even though see what, 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:55.600 he was a pilot, so it makes sense. 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.199 Okay, it makes sense, but just like it makes sense 0:09:58.240 --> 0:09:59.840 when you deal with the athlete or man with money, 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:00.840 of of course he's gonna cheat. 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:04.320 Okay, Yes, So I find out about this now I 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:07.360 have this like mental break and I'm like, wait, some 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.240 this is not working. I need to kind of reassess. Actually, 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:12.360 I had a breakdown in the Planet Hollywood in Vegas, 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.880 and I was like, okay, I'm leaving. I'm leaving Texas. 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:18.560 I quit my job, I got my packed up my 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:20.240 two dogs, and I moved to LA And you made 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:21.600 a podcast on a jump. 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:26.480 Yeah, men'll make you do talk a lot. 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.520 So I do want to go back to that relationship 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.400 because I understand the trauma of feeling like you've been 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:34.720 lied to, betrayed, especially with someone that you're making plans with. 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:38.160 But were you actually enjoying the sex, like when you 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.760 were with this man? Was there more that you were like, 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:42.959 I'm not this doesn't like. 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:44.720 Did he really drive you to be gay? Because someone's 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:47.480 gonna watch this and be like, she's gonna change your mind? Right? 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:51.800 No, I think god, I was just so shut off 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:53.880 to so many parts of me Back then, I was 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.120 working a corporate career, which I hated. 0:10:56.559 --> 0:11:00.000 I was dating a man exactly, which we hate. 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:02.880 So it's just like, I think, once you shut yourself 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.240 off to one part of you, you just kind of 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:08.800 are a zombie and you're shutting yourself off to a 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:09.880 lot of different parts of you. 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:10.800 I could see that. 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:13.600 So yeah, So then when I kind of had like 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:17.280 a break moved to LA started, I switched my apps. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.920 Clearly that was something that I was like heavily. I 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:24.160 hadn't consciously thought about. But if I'm switching my apps, 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.480 clearly I'm really being pulled to something. I switch my app, 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.960 I go on a date and now I'm like in 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.720 a full blown relationship during COVID with a woman, and 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:35.480 it's like this just complete switch. This was your first 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.320 time going on a date with the first date I 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:37.840 ever went on. 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:39.680 I ended up being in a nine mon. 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.520 Were you were you exactly? What were you like? Who 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:45.560 pays for this? Were you confused? As someone who's never 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.400 dated a woman? How do you just go on an 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:49.000 app say I'm gonna try women? 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:52.040 Now? How are you? If it was like riding a bike, 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.240 That's how she probably knew she's gonna keep going. I 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:55.400 was so confused. 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.680 Okay, I'm like, I'm more of a stoner, mushroom type person. 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:00.599 But that night before that day, I went down the 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:03.040 street from my house, took four shots of vodka and 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.280 was like, okay, pick me up. But she was a 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:10.160 kind of masculine leaning girl, so I think it's like 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:12.839 she's gonna lead you kind of are attracted to that 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.960 patriarchy you no, no, no, but don't really easy switched 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:20.080 an interest point. Yeah, You're like, Okay, at least there's 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:24.040 probably gonna be some gender role like normativity there. 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.280 And there was. And she really took. 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.679 Control in my first relationship in a lot of different 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:32.280 ways and kind of taught me the ropes a little bit. 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:37.640 Did she ever make you feel kind of shitty about 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.200 the fact that she was your first? Really? They say 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.480 that lesbians do that more than any person in the 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.920 queer community, and it's because I guess maybe as women, 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:49.480 we feel so like left out of it, and so 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:51.360 they're just kind of like, damn you. I don't know, 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:52.000 but I. 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.600 Actually wonder if from experience it was because she was 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:58.560 more masculine presenting and your last relationship was just with 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:00.960 a man. Because I remember when I got to New York, 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:02.880 there was like this girl used like but she used 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:05.320 to bring me to all the lesbian parties, and not 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.720 only did they all fight, but I was interested in 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:10.400 quite a few of the SuDS, And as soon as 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:14.240 they found out that I was by, they wanted nothing 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.800 to do with me, because it's like they feel like, well, innately, 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.120 they don't want to feel like they're competing with men 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:21.320 because they're masculine. 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:24.040 They don't want that. They just want lesbians. 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:28.960 So I've only been with really fem girls because I'm 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.200 by and will need dick and won't it and do 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:34.960 and they're like, they literally not wanted anything to do 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.319 with me because of my bisexuality. So I wonder if 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:40.000 that was that insecurity her thinking that maybe she was 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:40.760 just a phase. 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:44.200 Yes, you know, I think that is definitely a thing. 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:47.400 Unfortunately in the lesbian community. I think people are hurt 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:51.559 because there is by women who are maybe like in 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.600 that struggle yep. And so a lot of the times 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.040 when you're newer, you're kind of discounted and it's kind 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:58.520 of like, no, I didn't really want it. 0:13:58.520 --> 0:13:59.520 They really don't like vibes. 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:04.319 Not all of us but yeah, it is a thing, unfortunately, 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:05.439 and I don't really know why. 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.599 How do you feel about it now? When you what 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:10.160 you said you have a girlfriend? Or did you meet 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.000 me and my girlfriend? I'm in a relationship now, yes, 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:16.280 of course you are. The next day you're on but no, 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:18.280 like so you probably had met it by a girl 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.360 after that, and like, did you then feel the insecurity 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:25.720 that your ex girlfriend had m or you got a type? 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:29.000 I did see your girlfriend. I definitely have the type 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:30.000 I dated. 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.640 I did try to date a few different types though, 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.360 and I was because when you're new to dating women, 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.400 I wanted to make sure I wasn't just like going 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:38.760 to what felt normal. 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:41.640 Can we get into the type? We are saying names. 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:42.960 She has said a few, and I'm like, I think 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:44.480 we got to bleep it out. I think it's a slur. 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:46.280 I don't think dyke is a slur. I think we're 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.240 just I don't think we're supposed to say it. 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.520 Yeah, I think likedke is okay if I say it, because. 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.880 I'm you're not lesbian. That's why I said, even though 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.360 you eatuci, you can't say it unless you That's why 0:14:56.360 --> 0:14:58.120 I said, we can't say, oh, I'm saying, but because 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:00.640 the busch bitch that this is another one. 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:03.240 I don't know if that one's okay, not because I've 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:06.720 said that, But then I'll get like my emails will 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:09.680 blow up saying I'm not supposed to say certainly I know. 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.520 You're not, but well, I don't know, but your fem 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.160 and then there's lipstick f what are all these wait? 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:16.920 What are the sun for black girls? Is? 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.440 Well, butch is for white girls. From from what I understand, yes, yes, 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:20.960 oh so. 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.040 That's why nobody says nothing to me when I said that, 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:25.720 butch bitch, oh, because you were talking about a white woman. 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.000 And then most of our fathers were like, okay, okay, 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:32.520 but instead we use that real loosely. But the D 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:35.600 word again, I know we have. That's the only one 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.520 that's like why is that? Do you know? You know why? 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:42.600 She's only two years into lesbian Yeah, I very asking 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:45.160 her the history and lesbianism, and she's like, I just 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:48.520 got here, bitch, I don't know one who look altte. 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:52.680 She don't like to play baseball. 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:57.400 My girlfriend no, so my girlfriend would be like what's considered? 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.440 Actually the word is so terrible. It's fun because it's 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.760 like fem and but you know we say theem yes, 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:05.480 oh yes. 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:07.400 Okay, god, she would be concerned. I didn't know she 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:09.040 was because she's prettier. 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.640 Yes, but is that. 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:14.920 That's probably not It's like she's like, like she dresses 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:15.960 a little bit more feminine. 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:21.800 We're not just androgynous. No, no, So I'm gonna get 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:24.520 canceled after this. I don't think I'm doing the lesbian 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:29.800 community just here. You don't get so like. No, I 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.960 saw that your girlfriend had the reason. I could see 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.640 why you would have said, but what else say the stem? 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.200 So I was making the joke about baseball or whatever 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:39.520 it was, literally because I saw her wear a hat 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:41.760 and a tea and you were wearing something more girly. 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.880 But when you said that is now I'm like, oh, 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:46.960 she had longer hair and I have to solved her 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:51.160 face and maybe more conventionally attractive for a woman. That's 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.520 where I was seeing that. However, what I would like 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:58.320 to know is have you ever told someone that you 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:00.920 like more masculining women and maybe they got offended or 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:03.280 maybe we're like, well that's not me. Did you experience 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:07.040 that with your current girlfriend? Hmmm? Or maybe are there 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:11.560 areas where you're finding the dynamic, like needing to find 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:13.120 a top and bottom, Like, yeah. 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:16.200 Huh, the top and bottom thing is interesting. I don't 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:21.160 know that that's something anymore. I feel like that's very Yeah, 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:23.240 I really feel like that. I mean, I definitely think 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:27.719 there's like a more like dominant presence usually, but I 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.120 feel like that I'm that in my. 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:31.080 Relationship, which you wouldn't really expect. 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.359 You would expect my girlfriend, who is like a little 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:35.919 bit more of the masculining one, to be more of 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:37.560 that like top presence. 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.800 So it's crazy that this can be such a just 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:45.240 regular conversation and talking about mask presenting them presenting in 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:48.639 terms of lesbianism, because this is actually how I'd be 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.520 trying to explain why I don't want my man to 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:53.720 have nail polish. I want my woman to have an 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.679 apolished So there are things that we consider it to 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:59.760 be masculine and feminine, not gay or strength. By the way, 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.680 the masculine you mentioned dominant, and we're using the red mask. 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:07.720 When I was on ecstasy, it was once I like 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:11.600 a story that starts like that, right, So like basically 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.040 we were like talking with these people, didn't know we 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.720 were high and one of the guys said to me, like, 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.840 ain't it funny how all lesbians got to have one 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.119 that's more mainly and one that's more girl girly, And 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:24.199 literally this thing unlocked in my brain that I was like, 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:27.679 all of my friendships have a more dominant person. One 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:28.879 of us is making the calls, the rest of the 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:30.919 ONEm is one of the one is probably the one 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.080 who's a little more extroverted in the other one is. 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.520 It's there's always kind of this juxtaposition which within people, 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:42.400