Speaker 1: Guess what decision We're about to make? Horrible decision? How
Speaker 1: do everybody? We have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we
Speaker 1: are going to be in Dallas, Texas Memorial Day weekend,
Speaker 1: which is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two
Speaker 1: together Land Festival, and you bitch is better than how
Speaker 1: No motherfucker work on Sunday? Call out ho?
Speaker 2: I mean you could do that, but also it's a
Speaker 2: three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see
Speaker 2: you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival.
Speaker 2: Make sure you get your tickets now. We will be
Speaker 2: live on the podcast stage. That's May twenty six.
Speaker 1: Get your tickets now at togetherland dot com. Hey guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I'm your girl,
Speaker 1: Mandy b I'm weezy ooh like you put, I don't anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm weasy. And it's women's history months, so to be fair,
Speaker 1: we had women of all different colors and creeds. But
Speaker 1: the reason we have our guests on is because honestly,
Speaker 1: I just love the content you're making in your clips.
Speaker 1: And I saw that Mandy liked one, and Mandy normally
Speaker 1: don't like have a white guest when I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: Mandy liked some so I.
Speaker 2: Like the one where I only saw a black girl
Speaker 2: on So when she said you know this girl, I said, no, don't.
Speaker 2: We have now on the pod. Jesus right by the way,
Speaker 2: before we just started this goddamn episode, we just had
Speaker 2: a full dissection of Mouth's shoes because I am convinced
Speaker 2: they were regifted to her. She said they got she
Speaker 2: got them from a black person. They are like, they
Speaker 2: are boots.
Speaker 1: They are boots the Air Force one, Air Force one
Speaker 1: combat boots. But they're black. That's lesbian. It is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: She's kind of right, it is, and maybe that's why
Speaker 1: they were gifted to you. Okay, I don't know she gay? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: did you guys? Fuck? No, Oh, we've been friends since
Speaker 1: like middle school. I don't think she was a shooter
Speaker 1: because who else is buying black Air Force one? Like
Speaker 1: I need to know. You might need to ask her
Speaker 1: if she got weapons in her house. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I I'm shocked. I'm not about to ask my black
Speaker 1: friend and favorite guy. No, seriously, y'all, I'm looking at
Speaker 1: me like I'm a little scared of you. I ain't
Speaker 1: even gonna hold you mount. But you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know how you get down, but them shoes say you
Speaker 1: get down a certain way. That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: That's why we like it so far. So now your
Speaker 1: podcast called Made It Out, tell me a little bit
Speaker 1: about your show cause it's new, right, Yeah, it's very new.
Speaker 3: It's like two months old. How you got your ship
Speaker 3: offer like that, I honestly don't know. We do it
Speaker 3: out of our bedroom. It's me and my girlfriend. I'm
Speaker 3: from Texas, so I have a lot of gay closet
Speaker 3: trauma and I just sit on my couch and get
Speaker 3: drunk and.
Speaker 1: Talk about you really got out of there right before
Speaker 1: they really started fucking over all the laws. Let me
Speaker 1: get my gut out of here. I'm deeply connected to
Speaker 1: my guts. My goodness. Yeah, Texas is one of those
Speaker 1: where I love.
Speaker 2: So I go to Dallas Everythanksgiving and as much as
Speaker 2: I'm like, dang, I like the house to see I'm like,
Speaker 2: but Texas is one of those states now, especially that
Speaker 2: they just want to keep paying away all women's rights.
Speaker 1: But I just don't feel like makes sense. It doesn't.
Speaker 3: Everybody's out. Yeah you you they say that but then
Speaker 3: you get there and you're like and.
Speaker 2: You're like, still it's still racist. It's giving Florida two
Speaker 2: point out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're in Texas room Dallas, Dallas. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 3: lived in Dallas and it's I lived in the city.
Speaker 3: But it's so pretentious.
Speaker 1: It's old money. Yeah, oh it is old Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's definitely still giving that that feeling.
Speaker 2: And so made it out is about you coming out
Speaker 2: of the closet as of your full blown lesbians.
Speaker 1: Are you gold star? No, you've had dick before, not
Speaker 1: even at all. That's how I know I'm gay. See.
Speaker 1: I had a girlfriend for a few years and I
Speaker 1: was like, right off, probably the eighth month of eating pussy,
Speaker 1: I was like, we should have a Facebook.
Speaker 3: Do you know how gay I am? I literally don't
Speaker 3: even like the strap. Oh that's gay gay that was me.
Speaker 1: You're real good.
Speaker 3: Oh you don't like penetration because it feels too much
Speaker 3: like sex of men.
Speaker 1: Oh you Oh, they hurt you. No, I'm gonna tell
Speaker 1: you something though. Most women I know that are gay
Speaker 1: gay don't like strapping either. Most women I know that
Speaker 1: deuce strap are fucking someone that used to fuck men,
Speaker 1: and they feel that it's something they're looking for.
Speaker 2: But that's how I know I'm really gay. I've only
Speaker 2: been strapped by a woman, and I strapped men.
Speaker 1: But I have a woman.
Speaker 2: That's crazy. I've only been strapped by a woman. But
Speaker 2: because I'm like, no, bitch, I need some penetration, right,
Speaker 2: But I've said that too. I don't come with head,
Speaker 2: I come with penetration, so I need the dick. So
Speaker 2: for you, you came out with age fully twenty eight.
Speaker 1: Oh you came out late. How do you know? I'm thirty.
Speaker 1: I came out two years ago. How long had you
Speaker 1: been gay? Because you came out at twenty eight? This
Speaker 1: is funny? How long you being? How long have I've
Speaker 1: been gay?
Speaker 3: I've known I was gay since like little really, likely
Speaker 3: four or five years old. When you're playing house and
Speaker 3: you're like, oh my god, that's when I like, I
Speaker 3: mean hunt. We all hunt our friends.
Speaker 1: Tell no, I don't. I don't think we do. You don't.
Speaker 1: I think everyone has hunched their friends. You're gay. I
Speaker 1: really can't ask Danny, but I think all women at
Speaker 1: one point have hunched. They went from teddy bears to
Speaker 1: their homegirls, and they didn't know what they were doing.
Speaker 1: But everybody's like done dry hunk. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: common for people that are straight, though, I think so.
Speaker 1: I think we all do. We know anyone who we called?
Speaker 1: But does it? That's not don't die bitch?
Speaker 2: Everybody hunt each other because my homegirl that's not gay
Speaker 2: now got three kids, and I hunched her.
Speaker 1: But she's straight. Well maybe that's the four. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: like either. That's when you figure it out.
Speaker 2: When you a little girl, you figure out if you
Speaker 2: like bitch. We almost got caught by our dad.
Speaker 1: She came in bitch. She was playing school and we
Speaker 1: done rolled off the bed. Ah, we just playing in school?
Speaker 1: What school? No?
Speaker 2: School is like when you got the teacher, the kid,
Speaker 2: want somebody teaching the other lesson?
Speaker 1: But what oh yeah, why does advanced? We were like,
Speaker 1: oh was it role playing too early? Yeah? I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying you look like a teacher now. And
Speaker 1: I don't say we've done. We've done.
Speaker 2: Like I used to draw home like boys too. We
Speaker 2: did mother daughter and then someone.
Speaker 1: Was the kid and the kid was the one we
Speaker 1: ate want we would be in the closet because we're
Speaker 1: the adults. We have our own room. Okay, I definitely
Speaker 1: played House. We say not school House said. So, you
Speaker 1: describe your podcast as wanting to push the gay agenda,
Speaker 1: but what is it? What's the gay agenda? Do you
Speaker 1: feel like there's too many maybe, uh, male driven gay
Speaker 1: podcasts because I always feel like I'm seeing a lot
Speaker 1: of gay podcasts for men, but maybe lesbians. I don't. Actually,
Speaker 1: there's not We've had something, but not as much, not
Speaker 1: as much.
Speaker 3: There is not enough lesbian content period, There's nothing. There's
Speaker 3: the L word. There's a couple of lesbian podcasts, but yeah,
Speaker 3: but like, what can you actually say?
Speaker 1: Because we love the gay they gave us makeup, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like we can't stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1: But for lesbians, I feel like you're right, we're not
Speaker 1: seeing enough because.
Speaker 2: Lesbians, we don't want any more lesli content. It is
Speaker 2: the shoes, I guess that's I mean, Okay.
Speaker 1: They gave about it. We do.
Speaker 3: Gay men, yes, and not necessarily the lesbians, and oh
Speaker 3: my god, is that the patriarchy?
Speaker 1: But keep going?
Speaker 3: Yes, I actually think so. I think that being a
Speaker 3: lesbian is the ultimate rebellion. It's like, fuck men, I
Speaker 3: don't want anything to do with you. I don't need you,
Speaker 3: So why would the patriarchy want to put all women
Speaker 3: content out there?
Speaker 1: You're right, Oh hmm.
Speaker 3: So it's like, let's make stuff that's only for women,
Speaker 3: you know, women.
Speaker 1: Who have women want I did want to ask you something.
Speaker 1: How will you then open up? Will it forever will
Speaker 1: only be lesbians? Will you let get a little queer?
Speaker 1: We have some trans people on there, some non binary.
Speaker 1: How do you envision it? Because when we first started, well,
Speaker 1: trans women can be lesbian. No, I know, I'm just
Speaker 1: saying trans people, like, do you think you'll just grow
Speaker 1: into the umbrella of LGBTQ because our show has evolved
Speaker 1: a lot over eight years. So I'm curious that you're
Speaker 1: here and it is a black pot, But can I
Speaker 1: learn about your shit? Man? He said? Yesterday we were
Speaker 1: in a goddamn rob Someone sent us a whole mail
Speaker 1: and the guy said, oh, my girl wants to take
Speaker 1: me to Africa, but she's white, man, he said, be
Speaker 1: out there building the village. Oh no, and am better?
Speaker 1: So no, you're you're not the woman you were to yesterday. No,
Speaker 1: but no, you really, like, what do you think this
Speaker 1: spot is going to happen? Because can it really be
Speaker 1: entirely lesbians. Are you going to try to honor that
Speaker 1: or what have you envisioned for it?
Speaker 3: I think when we started it was it was a
Speaker 3: ten episode series on coming out.
Speaker 1: That's all it was.
Speaker 3: Oh, it was going to be we had identified like
Speaker 3: ten or twelve. Actually kind of very distinct steps in
Speaker 3: the coming out process that a lot of us had experienced.
Speaker 1: What oh, God put me on the spot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe, just like religion, like dealing with religious struggles,
Speaker 3: dealing with culture, the kind of am I by?
Speaker 1: Am I gay? Moment? Just these very.
Speaker 3: Distinct steps of like you have never the process that
Speaker 3: you go through.
Speaker 1: Oh, I knew I was by How do you question that?
Speaker 1: Like if you like Dick amplicy, you buy and not gay?
Speaker 1: Oh you must have had it because you were with him.
Speaker 3: I yeah, I think I went through like a very
Speaker 3: because I lived in Texas, it was very normal to
Speaker 3: be married and have kids by twenty five, and so
Speaker 3: I was very much on that track.
Speaker 1: I was like, I.
Speaker 3: Had a house, cars, a bank account with a guy
Speaker 3: like I was in it deep and then I found
Speaker 3: out he had a kid. I didn't know about three
Speaker 3: and a half years into the relationship.
Speaker 1: Love a double life. We'll do even though see what,
Speaker 1: he was a pilot, so it makes sense.
Speaker 2: Okay, it makes sense, but just like it makes sense
Speaker 2: when you deal with the athlete or man with money,
Speaker 2: of of course he's gonna cheat.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yes, So I find out about this now I
Speaker 3: have this like mental break and I'm like, wait, some
Speaker 3: this is not working. I need to kind of reassess. Actually,
Speaker 3: I had a breakdown in the Planet Hollywood in Vegas,
Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, I'm leaving. I'm leaving Texas.
Speaker 3: I quit my job, I got my packed up my
Speaker 3: two dogs, and I moved to LA And you made
Speaker 3: a podcast on a jump.
Speaker 1: Yeah, men'll make you do talk a lot.
Speaker 2: So I do want to go back to that relationship
Speaker 2: because I understand the trauma of feeling like you've been
Speaker 2: lied to, betrayed, especially with someone that you're making plans with.
Speaker 2: But were you actually enjoying the sex, like when you
Speaker 2: were with this man? Was there more that you were like,
Speaker 2: I'm not this doesn't like.
Speaker 1: Did he really drive you to be gay? Because someone's
Speaker 1: gonna watch this and be like, she's gonna change your mind? Right?
Speaker 3: No, I think god, I was just so shut off
Speaker 3: to so many parts of me Back then, I was
Speaker 3: working a corporate career, which I hated.
Speaker 1: I was dating a man exactly, which we hate.
Speaker 3: So it's just like, I think, once you shut yourself
Speaker 3: off to one part of you, you just kind of
Speaker 3: are a zombie and you're shutting yourself off to a
Speaker 3: lot of different parts of you.
Speaker 1: I could see that.
Speaker 3: So yeah, So then when I kind of had like
Speaker 3: a break moved to LA started, I switched my apps.
Speaker 3: Clearly that was something that I was like heavily. I
Speaker 3: hadn't consciously thought about. But if I'm switching my apps,
Speaker 3: clearly I'm really being pulled to something. I switch my app,
Speaker 3: I go on a date and now I'm like in
Speaker 3: a full blown relationship during COVID with a woman, and
Speaker 3: it's like this just complete switch. This was your first
Speaker 3: time going on a date with the first date I
Speaker 3: ever went on.
Speaker 1: I ended up being in a nine mon.
Speaker 2: Were you were you exactly? What were you like? Who
Speaker 2: pays for this? Were you confused? As someone who's never
Speaker 2: dated a woman? How do you just go on an
Speaker 2: app say I'm gonna try women?
Speaker 1: Now? How are you? If it was like riding a bike,
Speaker 1: That's how she probably knew she's gonna keep going. I
Speaker 1: was so confused.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm like, I'm more of a stoner, mushroom type person.
Speaker 3: But that night before that day, I went down the
Speaker 3: street from my house, took four shots of vodka and
Speaker 3: was like, okay, pick me up. But she was a
Speaker 3: kind of masculine leaning girl, so I think it's like
Speaker 3: she's gonna lead you kind of are attracted to that
Speaker 3: patriarchy you no, no, no, but don't really easy switched
Speaker 3: an interest point. Yeah, You're like, Okay, at least there's
Speaker 3: probably gonna be some gender role like normativity there.
Speaker 1: And there was. And she really took.
Speaker 3: Control in my first relationship in a lot of different
Speaker 3: ways and kind of taught me the ropes a little bit.
Speaker 1: Did she ever make you feel kind of shitty about
Speaker 1: the fact that she was your first? Really? They say
Speaker 1: that lesbians do that more than any person in the
Speaker 1: queer community, and it's because I guess maybe as women,
Speaker 1: we feel so like left out of it, and so
Speaker 1: they're just kind of like, damn you. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I.
Speaker 2: Actually wonder if from experience it was because she was
Speaker 2: more masculine presenting and your last relationship was just with
Speaker 2: a man. Because I remember when I got to New York,
Speaker 2: there was like this girl used like but she used
Speaker 2: to bring me to all the lesbian parties, and not
Speaker 2: only did they all fight, but I was interested in
Speaker 2: quite a few of the SuDS, And as soon as
Speaker 2: they found out that I was by, they wanted nothing
Speaker 2: to do with me, because it's like they feel like, well, innately,
Speaker 2: they don't want to feel like they're competing with men
Speaker 2: because they're masculine.
Speaker 1: They don't want that. They just want lesbians.
Speaker 2: So I've only been with really fem girls because I'm
Speaker 2: by and will need dick and won't it and do
Speaker 2: and they're like, they literally not wanted anything to do
Speaker 2: with me because of my bisexuality. So I wonder if
Speaker 2: that was that insecurity her thinking that maybe she was
Speaker 2: just a phase.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, I think that is definitely a thing.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately in the lesbian community. I think people are hurt
Speaker 3: because there is by women who are maybe like in
Speaker 3: that struggle yep. And so a lot of the times
Speaker 3: when you're newer, you're kind of discounted and it's kind
Speaker 3: of like, no, I didn't really want it.
Speaker 1: They really don't like vibes.
Speaker 3: Not all of us but yeah, it is a thing, unfortunately,
Speaker 3: and I don't really know why.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about it now? When you what
Speaker 1: you said you have a girlfriend? Or did you meet
Speaker 1: me and my girlfriend? I'm in a relationship now, yes,
Speaker 1: of course you are. The next day you're on but no,
Speaker 1: like so you probably had met it by a girl
Speaker 1: after that, and like, did you then feel the insecurity
Speaker 1: that your ex girlfriend had m or you got a type?
Speaker 1: I did see your girlfriend. I definitely have the type
Speaker 1: I dated.
Speaker 3: I did try to date a few different types though,
Speaker 3: and I was because when you're new to dating women,
Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure I wasn't just like going
Speaker 3: to what felt normal.
Speaker 2: Can we get into the type? We are saying names.
Speaker 2: She has said a few, and I'm like, I think
Speaker 2: we got to bleep it out. I think it's a slur.
Speaker 2: I don't think dyke is a slur. I think we're
Speaker 2: just I don't think we're supposed to say it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think likedke is okay if I say it, because.
Speaker 1: I'm you're not lesbian. That's why I said, even though
Speaker 1: you eatuci, you can't say it unless you That's why
Speaker 1: I said, we can't say, oh, I'm saying, but because
Speaker 1: the busch bitch that this is another one.
Speaker 3: I don't know if that one's okay, not because I've
Speaker 3: said that, But then I'll get like my emails will
Speaker 3: blow up saying I'm not supposed to say certainly I know.
Speaker 1: You're not, but well, I don't know, but your fem
Speaker 1: and then there's lipstick f what are all these wait?
Speaker 1: What are the sun for black girls? Is?
Speaker 3: Well, butch is for white girls. From from what I understand, yes, yes,
Speaker 3: oh so.
Speaker 1: That's why nobody says nothing to me when I said that,
Speaker 1: butch bitch, oh, because you were talking about a white woman.
Speaker 1: And then most of our fathers were like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: but instead we use that real loosely. But the D
Speaker 1: word again, I know we have. That's the only one
Speaker 1: that's like why is that? Do you know? You know why?
Speaker 1: She's only two years into lesbian Yeah, I very asking
Speaker 1: her the history and lesbianism, and she's like, I just
Speaker 1: got here, bitch, I don't know one who look altte.
Speaker 1: She don't like to play baseball.
Speaker 3: My girlfriend no, so my girlfriend would be like what's considered?
Speaker 1: Actually the word is so terrible. It's fun because it's
Speaker 1: like fem and but you know we say theem yes,
Speaker 1: oh yes.
Speaker 3: Okay, god, she would be concerned. I didn't know she
Speaker 3: was because she's prettier.
Speaker 1: Yes, but is that.
Speaker 3: That's probably not It's like she's like, like she dresses
Speaker 3: a little bit more feminine.
Speaker 1: We're not just androgynous. No, no, So I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: canceled after this. I don't think I'm doing the lesbian
Speaker 1: community just here. You don't get so like. No, I
Speaker 1: saw that your girlfriend had the reason. I could see
Speaker 1: why you would have said, but what else say the stem?
Speaker 1: So I was making the joke about baseball or whatever
Speaker 1: it was, literally because I saw her wear a hat
Speaker 1: and a tea and you were wearing something more girly.
Speaker 1: But when you said that is now I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: she had longer hair and I have to solved her
Speaker 1: face and maybe more conventionally attractive for a woman. That's
Speaker 1: where I was seeing that. However, what I would like
Speaker 1: to know is have you ever told someone that you
Speaker 1: like more masculining women and maybe they got offended or
Speaker 1: maybe we're like, well that's not me. Did you experience
Speaker 1: that with your current girlfriend? Hmmm? Or maybe are there
Speaker 1: areas where you're finding the dynamic, like needing to find
Speaker 1: a top and bottom, Like, yeah.
Speaker 3: Huh, the top and bottom thing is interesting. I don't
Speaker 3: know that that's something anymore. I feel like that's very Yeah,
Speaker 3: I really feel like that. I mean, I definitely think
Speaker 3: there's like a more like dominant presence usually, but I
Speaker 3: feel like that I'm that in my.
Speaker 1: Relationship, which you wouldn't really expect.
Speaker 3: You would expect my girlfriend, who is like a little
Speaker 3: bit more of the masculining one, to be more of
Speaker 3: that like top presence.
Speaker 1: So it's crazy that this can be such a just
Speaker 1: regular conversation and talking about mask presenting them presenting in
Speaker 1: terms of lesbianism, because this is actually how I'd be
Speaker 1: trying to explain why I don't want my man to
Speaker 1: have nail polish. I want my woman to have an
Speaker 1: apolished So there are things that we consider it to
Speaker 1: be masculine and feminine, not gay or strength. By the way,
Speaker 1: the masculine you mentioned dominant, and we're using the red mask.
Speaker 1: When I was on ecstasy, it was once I like
Speaker 1: a story that starts like that, right, So like basically
Speaker 1: we were like talking with these people, didn't know we
Speaker 1: were high and one of the guys said to me, like,
Speaker 1: ain't it funny how all lesbians got to have one
Speaker 1: that's more mainly and one that's more girl girly, And
Speaker 1: literally this thing unlocked in my brain that I was like,
Speaker 1: all of my friendships have a more dominant person. One
Speaker 1: of us is making the calls, the rest of the
Speaker 1: ONEm is one of the one is probably the one
Speaker 1: who's a little more extroverted in the other one is.
Speaker 1: It's there's always kind of this juxtaposition which within people,
Speaker 1: and I actually think all relationships, colleagues, platonic, friendships, romantic
Speaker 1: always kind of have that. I think that we pushed
Speaker 1: that shit on lesbians to make them feel bad, but
Speaker 1: I actually really believe every dynamic kind of has it.
Speaker 1: Even my business partner and I we're verse. There's times
Speaker 1: where he's kind of more dominant in work, and I
Speaker 1: am like, so, I think we've got to really let
Speaker 1: lesbians kind of have that one because there's so many
Speaker 1: times where me and Mandy and I have made jokes
Speaker 1: when we were doing the couple's game where we're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: who's the top and who's the bottom because we don't
Speaker 1: want to say who's the man or woman. But I
Speaker 1: realize now it's like, oh damn, that must maybe someone
Speaker 1: the same thing. Yeah, it really is. It's Yeah.
Speaker 3: I almost hate to even use the gender terms because
Speaker 3: it's just like balance.
Speaker 1: That's what topper bottom was mine. But dominant is a
Speaker 1: better way.
Speaker 2: Dominant submissive, Yeah, like just the opposites. Yes, but there
Speaker 2: are also a lot of lesbians that like them, girls
Speaker 2: date each other.
Speaker 3: Yes, That's why I say I hate to use like
Speaker 3: the mask or same gender thing because it's like.
Speaker 1: That's not the way can be together. I was everybody
Speaker 1: made us feel like shit. People would act like we
Speaker 1: were doing porn. People made me feel so bad. She
Speaker 1: got really upset one night. I remember we were in
Speaker 1: Paris together. This guy was like making us kiss because
Speaker 1: he didn't thought we were lying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's been the thing. Oh, I'm so. I don't
Speaker 2: think that happens as much anymore. But I remember growing
Speaker 2: up when I would be out with my homegirls, the
Speaker 2: way to get a man away is we'd be like,
Speaker 2: well my girlfriend and the man would definitely probably nine
Speaker 2: times out of ten, respond will kiss and prove it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wait, are you do you still get that? I
Speaker 3: get No, you're not, No, you're not. I used to
Speaker 3: work in the club, and so then when I would
Speaker 3: tell people I was lesbian, the guys are like, no,
Speaker 3: they were too pretty to be a lesbian.
Speaker 1: That's the yeah, oh yeah, Danny. Have you ever had
Speaker 1: two girls tell you they were together when you tried
Speaker 1: to hit on a woman? Yeah, it just happened to
Speaker 1: all of us. I feel like you feel ugly when
Speaker 1: it happened. Yeah, you do. No, wait, wait, I believe them.
Speaker 1: I believe them. Sure, I mean yeah. It depends on
Speaker 1: the setting. Like if it's like you feel like she's
Speaker 1: giving someone else motion and you just I'm not getting
Speaker 1: the motion, then I am. I might be ugly, but
Speaker 1: if it's what are shorty than you is, probably doesn't
Speaker 1: happen often though, He's like, let me be nice. He said,
Speaker 1: it don't happen off, but he said, it's happened in
Speaker 1: my lifetime. That's all. We want to do our Vanella
Speaker 1: shit with you, which is our news segment. And I
Speaker 1: was like, let me find a gay one, but this
Speaker 1: one was actually real good. She did. So. This is
Speaker 1: a BuzzFeed article that came out last year December eleventh,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, and it says, I just found out
Speaker 1: that lesbians tend to make more money than straight women,
Speaker 1: and the reasons why makes sense? Have you heard this?
Speaker 3: No, but this does make sense. Bring us up on
Speaker 3: a little gay podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. Did you know the lesbians sid to
Speaker 1: make more money? And the phenomenon is known as lesbian
Speaker 1: wage premium. And so recently a woman did a deep dive.
Speaker 1: Her name is Aria of the less on why and
Speaker 1: so it says for years, social scientists have been observing
Speaker 1: that lesbians are making more money than straightmen. How so,
Speaker 1: there was thirty international studies and gay women are earning
Speaker 1: ten percent more even depends on it doesn't matter the country.
Speaker 1: And so here are some of the reasons why. Here
Speaker 1: are the obvious. I want to know what you think
Speaker 1: the obvious reasons? Oh, I would say they spend less
Speaker 1: money on it. They nails because these acrylics is once said,
Speaker 1: what they got to do with make him work? They
Speaker 1: have more up, They're earning more mandia jobs. Oh oh
Speaker 1: you know, why can we ask the lesbian please thank you?
Speaker 1: I'm so curious to go. I was just saying to nails,
Speaker 1: that's all I got, go go, go shut.
Speaker 3: I think it's because we aren't so focused on the
Speaker 3: heteronormative lifestyle.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that?
Speaker 3: Marrying a man, having kids, settling down, And we're like,
Speaker 3: it's almost like this, we can focus on other things
Speaker 3: because we're not so focused on locking a man down
Speaker 3: to get married. Generalized speaking, every man or every woman
Speaker 3: does will make you.
Speaker 1: Poor because the obvious reason they are less likely to
Speaker 1: have children. Oh, this one's interesting. Lesbians living were predominantly
Speaker 1: more in cities, which probably means that they're moving to
Speaker 1: cities because they're more liberals just like you, which means
Speaker 1: that they're paying more. And it says lesbians tend to
Speaker 1: be more educated than straightmmen, which that I didn't know,
Speaker 1: but probably because they're going to school and they're not
Speaker 1: focusing on these niggers. Okay now, because the fuck you
Speaker 1: up it, especially if you were in college. You remember
Speaker 1: that fucking man, you get pregnant, you can't finish college
Speaker 1: when you got pregnant. A handicapped girl and she said
Speaker 1: she almost had a chance to walk again, but she
Speaker 1: was fucking honest, dude, and she was so worried about dick.
Speaker 1: She missed the appointment. That was like physical therapy. We
Speaker 1: gotta have a friendly back on. She's hilarious. She's on
Speaker 1: a podcast called Watching the Throne. They're hold you, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna hold you.
Speaker 2: We seeing these girls tatam Man's face on their cheek
Speaker 2: and ass, I don't want I might end up being
Speaker 2: a guess on your pos soon.
Speaker 1: The way, I don't want these problems with these men.
Speaker 2: It's that making bitches stupid out here, Like the dick
Speaker 2: is literally fucking with they brain YEP, I don't want it.
Speaker 1: I don't want By the way, Friend, she was a
Speaker 1: teenager when she said that, Like she was a teenager
Speaker 1: when she got shot. So it's like, you know, you're
Speaker 1: a kid, you're looking around, but like, because I know,
Speaker 1: I think like as an adult, maybe you're taking your
Speaker 1: health more serious. But I love how much she laughed
Speaker 1: about it with us. We were like, no, really, dick
Speaker 1: got you any gap. But in lesbian couple's household, labor
Speaker 1: tends to be more equally divided, so neither partner is
Speaker 1: sacrificing work. Ah, that means you're not so worried about
Speaker 1: going home and fucking cooking dinner because you know your
Speaker 1: girl gonna do the other half. That you're gonna get
Speaker 1: that ot.
Speaker 2: You gonna get that time and a half cause you
Speaker 2: like bitch, you gotta run home and cook she got.
Speaker 1: I gotta go do the laundry and clean the house.
Speaker 1: She got. Both lesbian partners contributed more equally, meaning that
Speaker 1: lesbians do not face trade offs on needing to focus
Speaker 1: on family or the pressures. And interestingly, when you look
Speaker 1: at wages with lesbians who have lived with the previous
Speaker 1: male spouse and lesbians who have never lived with a
Speaker 1: male spouts, yes, that's the true many baby bro. The
Speaker 1: lesson is here that lesbians are not better at making money.
Speaker 1: It just reconfirms that domestic labor situations at home contribute
Speaker 1: to how women earn less outside. That was the fun,
Speaker 1: which does make sense. I mean, and you have to
Speaker 1: consider too. I think kids is probably the biggest one. Like,
Speaker 1: there's certain shifts you can't take at jobs. If you
Speaker 1: are the primary provider for your child, you have to
Speaker 1: pick them up from school, you have to drop them off,
Speaker 1: or you then have to consider, dang, it's gonna cost
Speaker 1: me this much in daycare and babysitting. Yeah. So there's
Speaker 1: even certain career paths and jobs that hetero women cannot
Speaker 1: take if they want to be mothers or why you know,
Speaker 1: we were just talking about this.
Speaker 3: It's also that science is going to be involved regardless, Yeah,
Speaker 3: when we have kids, so the process can be delayed.
Speaker 3: It doesn't feel as like, you know, stressed or tight,
Speaker 3: because it's like we can have kids at thirty eight, or.
Speaker 1: You freeze your eggs or you're talking yeah yeah, adoption
Speaker 1: or well yeah, so many different yes, And it's like
Speaker 1: already things that you're getting your brain around, because when
Speaker 1: you are a lesbian, you're already thinking in that way
Speaker 1: versus like, I really do think I have straight girlfriends
Speaker 1: who are so stressed on these apps because they're aging out.
Speaker 1: They're aging out, yeah, and like men won't.
Speaker 3: Now they're competing with like you know, men probably have
Speaker 3: a high age range on their apps twenty five to whatever,
Speaker 3: one to whatever. You so now you're competing with those
Speaker 3: girls and you're older, and then I feel like men
Speaker 3: think like that, Oh no, they a you're timed out
Speaker 3: or you're aging out.
Speaker 1: Oh they think like that.
Speaker 2: They literally, okay, they literally are like your value decreases as.
Speaker 1: You age in being a woman.
Speaker 2: Like and let's be very clear, we've talked about it
Speaker 2: as well, like men don't really care about the successes
Speaker 2: or how much money you make or where you are
Speaker 2: in your career. They're looking at how can you support them?
Speaker 2: How can you show up as a wife, How can
Speaker 2: you nurture our children? How can you take care of
Speaker 2: this house? Listen to it every time I think free time,
Speaker 2: and I think a lot of women right now we
Speaker 2: are because if we don't work, we don't pay our bills.
Speaker 2: Because these these motherfuckers ain't really paying our bills or
Speaker 2: making enough money to really provide like they should. And
Speaker 2: so we're getting into these positions where we're really proud
Speaker 2: of the things that we're doing and not willing to
Speaker 2: stop doing it to be a fucking arm candid housewife.
Speaker 1: What do you think that you've taught your friends since
Speaker 1: being gay that you maybe didn't No, No, sorry, being out,
Speaker 1: it's just being out, that's tie being out. It's being
Speaker 1: out as a lesbian that you hadn't really noticed before.
Speaker 1: Like have you seen some stuff in maybe even yourself
Speaker 1: from before where you were like, damn, I was tripping,
Speaker 1: Like I shouldn't have been so obsessed with I don't
Speaker 1: know whether it be marriage or status or you know,
Speaker 1: having the cars in house, Like have you been able
Speaker 1: to put that a.
Speaker 3: Completely different person? Like one eighty one hundred percent. I
Speaker 3: could not be more different than I was when I
Speaker 3: was straight.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: I mean, like I said, I was fully in a marriage.
Speaker 3: I essentially had a divorce with a man, and like
Speaker 3: my focus was, Yeah, I'm going to have this like
Speaker 3: little nine to five career. I'm going to try to
Speaker 3: make you know, one hundred thousand dollars a year. Like
Speaker 3: I was very okay with whatever my life was going
Speaker 3: to be because it was a man was going to
Speaker 3: come along, we were going to have a baby, We're
Speaker 3: going to have the white picket fence, whatever, and that
Speaker 3: was it. I was so in that mindset. And then
Speaker 3: when I came to La it was like I came out.
Speaker 3: That was the first thing that kind of awoke everything.
Speaker 3: It was switching my app dating a woman, and then
Speaker 3: it was like fuck everything. I got laid off from
Speaker 3: my job or my coverorate job. I was like, I'll
Speaker 3: never do it again. I went back to bottle service
Speaker 3: after I hadn't been in the clubs for a long time,
Speaker 3: and at twenty twenty six, twenty seven, I'm back in
Speaker 3: a club because I'm like, I will I won't do it.
Speaker 3: I will not go back to So it was like
Speaker 3: this shift in, Okay, if I'm going to disappoint society
Speaker 3: in this way, then I might as well do whatever
Speaker 3: the fuck I want to do. Because you felt like
Speaker 3: you were disappointing society by going back into the clubs. No,
Speaker 3: but well kind of, but really by being gay is
Speaker 3: more so what I meant, Like, I'm already not what
Speaker 3: everybody says I should be.
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to work the job.
Speaker 3: I'm just going to go back and do what takes
Speaker 3: the least amount of time and makes and make the
Speaker 3: money and free up my mind to do other things.
Speaker 3: And like I truly can say, that's why I have
Speaker 3: the podcast because my girlfriend found me looking for She
Speaker 3: found me on TikTok casting, a lesbian reality TV show.
Speaker 1: She created, a show, found me.
Speaker 3: Literally, I said, the minute I blocked my ex girlfriend's number,
Speaker 3: my whole life is going to change.
Speaker 1: I blocked my ex girlfriend. Ummer keep talking, people need
Speaker 1: to hear this. Yes, it's an energy thing.
Speaker 3: The minute I close this energetic door on this toxic
Speaker 3: first girlfriend that I had, the one that was you know,
Speaker 3: whatever I am going at my whole life. I'm going
Speaker 3: to get every single thing that I want to get.
Speaker 3: And three days after I blocked her number, my girlfriend
Speaker 3: messaged me, do you have any any interest in being
Speaker 3: on reality TV? And we did this whole thing. It
Speaker 3: was a pilot that got shot, it didn't get green lit.
Speaker 3: But because that didn't get green lit, I started We
Speaker 3: started the podcast together. Wow, let's try to do some
Speaker 3: sort of version of that type of representation.
Speaker 1: Danny put the camera on you. You were Patty. You
Speaker 1: are Patty talking to but today let him go keep going.
Speaker 1: Sorry truly him or her? Honestly that men are worse.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so okay, you block that happens. I'm curious.
Speaker 1: Did you ever have a moment where you were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm jumping from relationship to relationship? Yes, when I was well,
Speaker 1: and is it okay? It is rebounding? Okay, okay.
Speaker 3: To be fair, my girlfriend and I broke up and
Speaker 3: then we were very lesbian on and off for like.
Speaker 1: Well, that's heterod two girl, and did just let the
Speaker 1: girl I had our own community be on and off
Speaker 1: a little bit? Good? Pussy's good? Did goodn makes good? Pussy?
Speaker 3: God it's so different with women. It's so much more
Speaker 3: of an emotional thing. We are so criers, keep going.
Speaker 3: But that's what I love about it. I don't know,
Speaker 3: I'm such a lesbian in that way, me and my shoes.
Speaker 1: That I couldn't do it. That's why I don't like
Speaker 1: I'll be like I just have sex with women. I
Speaker 1: couldn't be with them and they're too it's too emotional
Speaker 1: for me, too needy.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, I don't like, that's not so interesting. That's
Speaker 3: not what I can't that's giving avoid it. No, I
Speaker 3: can't be that for I can't be that for somebody.
Speaker 3: I have a lot that I that I'm personally working on.
Speaker 2: I also like to just sometimes have my my space
Speaker 2: and like women be liking to be up under motherfuckers,
Speaker 2: they just do like I think that even my see.
Speaker 1: I like, I like to have sex with you. Like
Speaker 1: I just met over over the holiday break.
Speaker 2: I met this girl at a homeboy's house and immediately
Speaker 2: we like.
Speaker 1: Connected and it was cool. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like connect No, it was like, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: could probably fuck her, like if we hang out a
Speaker 1: couple more times, and so we exchanged numbers but immediately
Speaker 1: she was like, let me know when you make home,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come over tomorrow and cook you breakfast. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I leave before. Oh oh my god, that
Speaker 1: happened to me too in Paris.
Speaker 2: Offered to like, cook me breakfast the next day I
Speaker 2: leave out of town. But then when I come back,
Speaker 2: I want to take you here. I have this party
Speaker 2: keep and she started sending me all these finds and
Speaker 2: I was like, girl, first off, I'm good, I don't
Speaker 2: need breakfast.
Speaker 1: I'm not hungry. I have busy things going on.
Speaker 2: I said, well, we'll run into each other, but it
Speaker 2: immediately was like I had to push her away because
Speaker 2: it was too much. And I think, like, that's what
Speaker 2: a lot of and do women also be playing. I
Speaker 2: shared another story where me and my homegirl. She came over,
Speaker 2: laid in my bed as naked and literally didn't want
Speaker 2: to fuck because she wanted me to take her to
Speaker 2: the movies first. Bitch, we don't put your clothes on,
Speaker 2: get out, Like I was so upset because I noticed
Speaker 2: how bitches be playing with niggas too, like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: but you have to take me to the movies first.
Speaker 1: When are we gonna go on a date. You are
Speaker 1: in my bed naked, bitch, put some clothes on if
Speaker 1: we ain't gonna fuck right now. I was so annoyed
Speaker 1: that she even played with me like that, Like the
Speaker 1: mental gymnastics of women to me is too draining. No,
Speaker 1: so okay, you hauling is a real thing. What is
Speaker 1: it called you hauling when they move in? Yes? Okay,
Speaker 1: not what Kingwoods did when he sucked that night.
Speaker 3: And the.
Speaker 1: Friend of the show. You hauling is where women will
Speaker 1: try to move in.
Speaker 3: That's like the the stigma it is.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 3: It's a thing I think as women we connect on
Speaker 3: a deeper level.
Speaker 1: I know right away. Is this going to go somewhere?
Speaker 1: Is it's not going to go somewhere. So then you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: well it's expensive.
Speaker 3: We're in La. Let's not pay two rents. Let's just
Speaker 3: you know, it's just okay. But I think that I
Speaker 3: lost where I was going with that thought. But yes,
Speaker 3: do you do two bedrooms when you move in with
Speaker 3: a girl? No, you sleep in the same room. Yes,
Speaker 3: but not okay, that's where I.
Speaker 1: Was Wait, not all friends, no, I mean, but this
Speaker 1: one thing.
Speaker 2: And we had the conversation about the separate bedrooms, if
Speaker 2: I even move in with a man like my ex.
Speaker 1: I was talking about it. We were like, well, we need
Speaker 1: a two bedroom and you can have some of this.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like me, if.
Speaker 2: I think about moving in with a person right now,
Speaker 2: it's not to say we got to get another bedroom
Speaker 2: because there's two of us.
Speaker 1: Talking about if I'm mad at you, we're gonna have
Speaker 1: a little guest bed that you can sleep in. I
Speaker 1: can't imagine living with someone right now with one bedroom. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just stayed in a loft apartment in Mexico for
Speaker 1: a week with the dude dated and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Oh no, that's a real thing. Do
Speaker 1: you think with your partners?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's I mean, yeah, it's pretty enmeshed. I
Speaker 3: will say that, like, I think good relationships have healthy boundaries.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, we very much. Like yeah, yeah we do.
Speaker 1: But I think we're kind of it's a healthier relationship.
Speaker 1: But now you're working together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's a lot. Yeah, Oh what should
Speaker 3: be fighting about? I think we're very No, I don't
Speaker 3: think that's true.
Speaker 1: I really don't. I think it's so.
Speaker 3: Much easier to communicate with a woman. It's like, we
Speaker 3: get it we're both in therapy, we're both healing. It's like, okay,
Speaker 3: I here's why I did what I did. Here's why
Speaker 3: you did what you did. And it's like I hear you.
Speaker 3: I hear you, and then it's you actually see change.
Speaker 3: Like it's different than communicating with a man. I never
Speaker 3: got there with a man. Yeah, it's a it's it's difficult,
Speaker 3: and with a woman, it's like it's a back and forth.
Speaker 1: We get it.
Speaker 3: But my girlfriend and I are so different. I'm like
Speaker 3: the dreamer, let's do more. I want more, don't cap us.
Speaker 3: She's very like, let's focus on today right now and
Speaker 3: the process.
Speaker 1: And you know, she's what you're doing. She's a Taurus.
Speaker 1: We've got to star this thing. Okay. I date a
Speaker 1: lot of tourists. My ex girlfriend is a tourist too.
Speaker 1: I'm dating a tourist man right now. Okay, they're great.
Speaker 1: I love a tourist. I need a tourist. You need
Speaker 1: a person, and they happen to have a birthday where
Speaker 1: on the calendar. Until you find a meme that you like,
Speaker 1: Oh the me, listen, it's a meme.
Speaker 2: I don't live my lie by memes. I'll repost the
Speaker 2: meme real quick and yes I'm a libra and if
Speaker 2: it's says so I'm cute, I would just post that thing.
Speaker 2: But I don't start the moves. Shit, Okay, take what
Speaker 2: we like.
Speaker 1: So in your new relationship, are there any traumas you've
Speaker 1: brought from your past? Because I know when I'm dating men,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of bringing a lot of my old insecurities up.
Speaker 1: Like as you lying is you're doing this at he's scheming.
Speaker 1: What about you, Like, have you done that? Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: I think yeah, a lot of family of origin. I'm
Speaker 3: like the oldest, so there's a lot that comes with that.
Speaker 3: My brother's a professional baseball player and the baby and
Speaker 3: the only boy of the family, so there was like
Speaker 3: a lot of you know, attention there. I think there's
Speaker 3: like some abandonment. You know, we all have some problem.
Speaker 1: I don't know, no, no, I mean from like literally
Speaker 1: the last X that you just said on.
Speaker 3: The last X hmmm, Yeah, I think she really made
Speaker 3: me feel bad about where I fit in within the
Speaker 3: community and like, my nobody's ever gonna want to be
Speaker 3: with you because you came out so late, you don't
Speaker 3: know what you're doing. That type of thing. She also
Speaker 3: was like really shed kind of flight, put me down.
Speaker 1: Like you don't say, like what like fucking huh? She
Speaker 1: would say, like you didn't know what you were doing
Speaker 1: and what realm?
Speaker 3: I think all like sex with sex ist sex is
Speaker 3: scary when you haven't had sex with women, but it's
Speaker 3: something that you've wanted your whole life and you've only
Speaker 3: had sex with men and then you switch. The first
Speaker 3: time I with the girl, I did not move my
Speaker 3: hands literally stayed glued to my side.
Speaker 1: I was terrified that kind of sex.
Speaker 3: Did you have everything? No, Like she went down on me,
Speaker 3: fingered me, gave me head. It was the full thing,
Speaker 3: and I just did you scissor not that time? Not
Speaker 3: first time?
Speaker 1: When it was happening, did you know that you wanted more?
Speaker 1: Or did you feel like, oh, I don't know how
Speaker 1: to reciprocate. I didn't know how to reciprocate. That's exactly
Speaker 1: how I felt. There's even moments where if it's been
Speaker 1: too long, I feel the exact same way. I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: I've been sucking shit.
Speaker 3: Like well, the thing is is yes, but also every
Speaker 3: girl is different.
Speaker 1: Is the hardest thing.
Speaker 2: I've ever done in my life and is yeah, because
Speaker 2: like I actually like fingers inside me, but again I
Speaker 2: like penetration too. There's a lot of women that you
Speaker 2: have to ask for us, like some women don't want
Speaker 2: fingers in them at all.
Speaker 1: Like I don't like you looking too hard, so I
Speaker 1: don't like fucking you. Just had a guest on a
Speaker 1: few months ago, Christina, who talked about the teeth like
Speaker 1: yo teeth teeth. She said it felt like her laby
Speaker 1: was getting stuck in the teeth. No, I don't like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know like I mean.
Speaker 2: And again there's still we also know that women don't
Speaker 2: often tell their partner when something doesn't feel good.
Speaker 1: We do that with men.
Speaker 2: So I think that it becomes we're trying to teach
Speaker 2: each other what feels good when we have also innately
Speaker 2: not really grew up being able to tell people what
Speaker 2: we like, what we don't like, exploring our bodies really late, and.
Speaker 1: That's what a lot of us are put up Bread Brendon,
Speaker 1: y'all make sure you get your tickets now. May fifth,
Speaker 1: we are at the Earth Theater in London's and we
Speaker 1: made this a specific request to be in London on
Speaker 1: the weekend, so that are all of our euro people
Speaker 1: can come and see this. We want our whole euro people,
Speaker 1: Europe and Europe pull whatever, all the black people that
Speaker 1: live over there. Just take that another fucking year star
Speaker 1: and come and see us. We're gonna be there. May fifth,
Speaker 1: we are having a whole new show, one that you
Speaker 1: didn't see. This is a part of the Climax tour.
Speaker 1: So even if you were on the Climax Tour and
Speaker 1: you need a little trip, it's gonna be warmer, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be fun. Come through and see as That's right,
Speaker 1: make sure you head on over to hohre hive dot
Speaker 1: com and get your tickets. Now, this is a really
Speaker 1: good moment. We have a Horror Durve segment where we
Speaker 1: asked for a sex tip and I don't know if
Speaker 1: I've ever asked for this, and I feel like this
Speaker 1: is a really simple things to say. But I dated
Speaker 1: a girl for a few years on this pod. So
Speaker 1: during that time, and you remember, oh, fans were disrespectful.
Speaker 1: It was crazy, like that was probably the most I'd
Speaker 1: ever felt violated, always touched by women. They were just
Speaker 1: doing a lot. But I think girls were just fantasizing
Speaker 1: more because they got to hear lesbian stories more than
Speaker 1: hetero ones at the time. However, a lot of the
Speaker 1: questions were want to be with a girl? How do
Speaker 1: I do it? How do I do it? Where do
Speaker 1: I start? I really want to talk about that, like
Speaker 1: first time lesbian sex, how could we be decent at it?
Speaker 1: Like let's talk to someone that's never done it.
Speaker 3: I think literally every time I'm asked this, because on
Speaker 3: my podcast, this is probably the number one question that
Speaker 3: we get.
Speaker 1: It's my first time, and how do I do it?
Speaker 3: And the answer is it's gonna be so embarrassing and
Speaker 3: so fucking awkward, and like it.
Speaker 1: That just is what it is.
Speaker 3: Like, I don't think there's any practical advice that you
Speaker 3: can give for with a man.
Speaker 1: There is because your open legs are open. That's it. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's do you like? What about for touching? Like do
Speaker 1: you recommend that someone says it's their first time? Do
Speaker 1: you recommend that they're trying oral? Like where can they practice?
Speaker 1: Like we gotta give these bits a sum it.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I think going back to what you were saying,
Speaker 3: how we weren't we aren't taught to communicate?
Speaker 1: Lesbian sex is so communicative. Oh, that's normal to talk.
Speaker 3: It's normal to say do this, do that, I like this,
Speaker 3: and I know that doesn't feel very normal, but like,
Speaker 3: get feedback in a lesbian relationship is so important because
Speaker 3: if you don't help me get there, I'm never gonna
Speaker 3: get there. Like it's gonna take me six months to
Speaker 3: do what I could do in six minutes if you
Speaker 3: just talk to me, you know. So, I think that's
Speaker 3: like the number one actual practical tip other than that,
Speaker 3: find the fucking clip.
Speaker 1: I just bringing in toys also, like could help. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's a little too much in the beginning. I feel
Speaker 1: the opposite. I think toys take it away from being
Speaker 1: all on you. Yes, it could be easier in that way,
Speaker 1: would be easier, yes, like if it's a lesbian like
Speaker 1: lesbian sex to me. And again, I wouldn't just start
Speaker 1: pulling out toys the first time. I always say, talk
Speaker 1: about toys first. I love talk about toys first. Well,
Speaker 1: we're gonna play with let's go together and buy them.
Speaker 1: But I think that would is what would take.
Speaker 2: The pressure off of the first time with a lesbian
Speaker 2: is actually having toys there. Yeah, And it takes the
Speaker 2: pressure off of you actually having to do all the
Speaker 2: things and now you're just using the toys, so now
Speaker 2: my hands can be free. Sometimes my hands begining tired
Speaker 2: or to motherfucking wand it's like it's just too much.
Speaker 2: So to have somebody like that was one of the
Speaker 2: things I used to love about sex with my ex.
Speaker 2: We brought in so many toys. It felt great sometimes
Speaker 2: for someone to use toys on me. Yes, so to me,
Speaker 2: that would that would be maybe my tip if someone scared, like,
Speaker 2: maybe just play with toys first.
Speaker 3: One of your favorite toys to use in your relationship.
Speaker 3: I love a vibrator. I'm one of the people that
Speaker 3: I can't really come from penetration. It's like not I think,
Speaker 3: like I was saying before, I've got weird trauma around it.
Speaker 3: I don't love it unless there's like a shit ton
Speaker 3: of intimacy. There has to be a lot built up first, right,
Speaker 3: and then it's like, okay, we can introduce a toy.
Speaker 1: It makes sense why men doesn't work for you.
Speaker 3: Yes, So I'm very very like clit stimulation and any vibrator.
Speaker 1: I'm I told someone recently on an interview that I
Speaker 1: did when they were sorry. It wasn't recently, it was old,
Speaker 1: but I remember they were like talking about things to
Speaker 1: do for your first time, and I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: I think thinking of masturbating together and with each other
Speaker 1: is maybe the easiest way to talk about being gay
Speaker 1: for the first time, particularly because like I was, I
Speaker 1: remember rubbing my clip on a lot of her body
Speaker 1: and fingering myself but then heard fingering me showing her
Speaker 1: what to do a lot of kissing, but like touching
Speaker 1: each other. And it was tough because you feel like
Speaker 1: you're going to be so bad, and we know how
Speaker 1: bad our experiences with men have been if they're too rough,
Speaker 1: so you want to be super gentle, but then not
Speaker 1: gentle enough to where you seem like you don't know
Speaker 1: what you're doing. It's a lot of pressure. And I
Speaker 1: wanted to ask the questions about four girls that are
Speaker 1: wanting to have their first experience with a woman. You
Speaker 1: mentioned apps tell us some of those if you'd recommend that,
Speaker 1: or maybe just the lesbian night at a gay club.
Speaker 1: What do you think?
Speaker 3: I so I was on hinge and that's why no, Okay,
Speaker 3: go ahead and show your experience. Well, I was on
Speaker 3: a hinge, I swiped, I went on a date, and
Speaker 3: then I got into a relationship.
Speaker 1: If you went there very long. Congratulations done and then yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean after that Hinge. No, they're a hinge. Oh
Speaker 1: why not her? Because the ones I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't think they're just like not the best. I
Speaker 3: would say.
Speaker 1: She said, you go swipe love a lot? What about mumble?
Speaker 1: Did you use bumble? No? I think I feel like
Speaker 1: Hinge is the one. You know, you know why I belove.
Speaker 1: That's when I was on. So when I when I
Speaker 1: got on there, I actually had to take so I
Speaker 1: went on there it says bisexual, so I'm interested in
Speaker 1: men and women, Babe.
Speaker 2: I had to take the women off. It was too
Speaker 2: much of the way, too many women. They were all
Speaker 2: very good looking. I was like, oh, no, this is
Speaker 2: this is at this point a bit uncomfortable, Like, uh,
Speaker 2: there is too much.
Speaker 1: There were too many women. I felt like it was
Speaker 1: too much to choose from.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I clearly was like, I really don't want
Speaker 2: to have to take y'all on dates.
Speaker 1: I really just want to fuck. So I said, let
Speaker 1: me get the fuck, let me get women off of this.
Speaker 1: I'm beloved. How did you know what your girl type was?
Speaker 1: Because you said you've known you were gay for a
Speaker 1: long time. How did you know and what were those feelings? Like?
Speaker 3: Oh, you actually, So I had this friend when I
Speaker 3: was little that was like we were like three and
Speaker 3: four years old, and we used to play house and
Speaker 3: we used to kiss.
Speaker 1: Exactly, and I think her and then.
Speaker 3: My first nanny her name, She looks exactly like my girlfriend.
Speaker 3: They both have like really simply all like my first friend,
Speaker 3: and my nanny has very tea here characteristics, and they
Speaker 3: both look like my girlfriend. The nanny is my girlfriend.
Speaker 3: I swear, I'll have to show you guys picture now.
Speaker 2: There may have been some subconscious to where you were
Speaker 2: attracted to these people when you were younger, but you
Speaker 2: were fighting it.
Speaker 3: So I kind of think so because I have a
Speaker 3: memory also where I asked my nanny what sex was
Speaker 3: she like, I didn't ask my parents, but I had
Speaker 3: heard about sex and I asked my nanny. So I
Speaker 3: don't know if there's some sort of like weird logical
Speaker 3: correlation or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Nanny, And how did your parents take
Speaker 1: you coming out, especially being from Texas like that.
Speaker 3: Were from Chicago originally, Okay, we moved to Texas when
Speaker 3: I was like eight, So my parents are super progressive.
Speaker 1: I think you're going through a face.
Speaker 3: I think they were shocked, but no, because I'm pretty like,
Speaker 3: you know, I was like, no, I've gotten here, I'm there, like,
Speaker 3: so I think they were.
Speaker 1: I don't think it was that. Do you feel like
Speaker 1: there was something? Did you have a coming out post online?
Speaker 1: I've seen two of them, and one of them I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, you only just came out two years ago.
Speaker 1: And two years ago was when Starbucks had all the
Speaker 1: rainbows was everywhere, baby, it was the time Republicans were
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not having it. It was the wild.
Speaker 2: So like two years ago, we're in the middle of
Speaker 2: a pandemic. It's everyone's online.
Speaker 1: Did you tell the world online at all? You did? You? Guys? This?
Speaker 3: I used to have quadruple deep boobs, so like part
Speaker 3: of my straight life was like massive fucking tips. So
Speaker 3: it's me and this tank top with a roller in
Speaker 3: my hair, smoking a joint, coming through these doors.
Speaker 1: Video youted a whole coming well. It was kind of
Speaker 1: like I was doing.
Speaker 3: A like a gender reveal, but my kind of yeah,
Speaker 3: And I said, I think I said, like in case
Speaker 3: you ever heard, because it was the post is like me.
Speaker 1: Coming out the closet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, at third or at twenty eight or something basically older,
Speaker 3: and yeah, I.
Speaker 1: It's so excessive. It's like, why did I do that?
Speaker 1: You still you archived it? Huh? You got it up still? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh no, we're gonna of course social media. I might
Speaker 1: about to go round like what I mean?
Speaker 2: So, but was that a conversation with any of the
Speaker 2: other lesbian friends that you may have had, or you know,
Speaker 2: even family members. Was there a conversation about coming out,
Speaker 2: like and what that announcement had to look like or
Speaker 2: how you would tell the world.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, I mean I had to come out
Speaker 3: because it was not like you had to. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: for my family kind of yeah, because I had lived
Speaker 3: such a different life and I had dated so many
Speaker 3: men and been in like serious relationships with men. So
Speaker 3: I did feel like, Okay, I have to say something,
Speaker 3: you know. And I think I was so purbl in
Speaker 3: it by the time I came out.
Speaker 1: The only one.
Speaker 3: I called my mom in a panic during the you know, pandemic,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh my god, I'm in a
Speaker 3: full blown relationship with a woman, just bawling. I didn't
Speaker 3: know what was going on, but I waited to tell
Speaker 3: everybody else, like to tell my family. And I think
Speaker 3: by the time I told the rest of my family,
Speaker 3: I was so secure in myself and like this is
Speaker 3: who I am, and I had already gone through the
Speaker 3: am I bye and all of that stuff, the religious stuff,
Speaker 3: that I came to a point where I was like
Speaker 3: I was ready to answer questions.
Speaker 1: Do you have Kinsley scale moments where you're like, you said,
Speaker 1: am I bye? But and then moments where you're seeing
Speaker 1: men and maybe you get a little tangli in that
Speaker 1: blissing or are you just looking at them in a
Speaker 1: different way, like he's handsome, but I don't want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of funny because I live life in extremes,
Speaker 3: like I've been a stripper and I also worked in
Speaker 3: corporate America and I've dated men, and I'm all, so
Speaker 3: I think I work in that way. I'm really quick
Speaker 3: to like make a jump to something.
Speaker 1: I wish I could see the stripper and you I
Speaker 1: don't see it. Maybe it's the pants not with these shoes,
Speaker 1: but I'll see it, shrimp, I go, very beautiful. We
Speaker 1: need to put the shoes in it, because there I'm
Speaker 1: standing by these shoes I'm wearing them every day. Now
Speaker 1: we're gonna come to your first live show and bring
Speaker 1: them and I don't wear these shoes for you guys. Well,
Speaker 1: what advice would you give to any any woman listening
Speaker 1: that bill as though they are lesbian and they want,
Speaker 1: like they're considering coming out, Like what battles and what
Speaker 1: things should they focus on before coming out to the world.
Speaker 1: I think the only not the only.
Speaker 3: There's definitely like worldly in societal and cultural battles, But
Speaker 3: I think the most important part is getting really clear
Speaker 3: within yourself and like accepting it within yourself, because if
Speaker 3: you don't feel that way within you, you're not going
Speaker 3: to be able to fight the rest of the world,
Speaker 3: you know, and to to to stand firm and be
Speaker 3: okay with that.
Speaker 2: Can I ask you, well, outside of your own community,
Speaker 2: it seems like we there's a lot of bickering within
Speaker 2: the own you know, the LGBTQ community, But as a lesbian,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like gay men, I definitely
Speaker 2: see society's pressures. What are the societal pressures on lesbians?
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like, I think we're heavily sexualized. It's there, We're not
Speaker 3: really taken serious. I think it's kind of it's more
Speaker 3: of a.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you're gay. Yeah okay, yeah, you're playing which
Speaker 1: on the up with the opposite end with men, it's
Speaker 1: like shameful, like you know, if you suck a dick,
Speaker 1: you're out. Yes, it's interesting, okay, So they just don't
Speaker 1: believe that. They actually believe that you want to take dick.
Speaker 1: You just don't right now totally.
Speaker 3: I mean I think that or it's like somebody hurt you,
Speaker 3: you just need the right guy, or you just That's
Speaker 3: what I was going to say about your story.
Speaker 1: I know somebody's feeling like that because that is super tramatic.
Speaker 1: But I think that we do need to end a
Speaker 1: certain relationship sometimes to like explore and sometimes we're in
Speaker 1: the right relationship, but the relationship we think that is
Speaker 1: right for us to know that I'm with a guy
Speaker 1: who's you know, doing well and like a pilot is
Speaker 1: such an amazing job, and like it seems like the
Speaker 1: perfect family life. One thing I wanted to talk to
Speaker 1: you actually about before we wrap was what does lesbian
Speaker 1: conversations surrounding family planning look like? And how soon it's
Speaker 1: too soon? And yeah, how have you felt about it,
Speaker 1: and how y'all start saving because that shit is, you
Speaker 1: know it is.
Speaker 3: I think my girlfriend and I are actually like already
Speaker 3: in talks. We're not engaged yet, but it's a long
Speaker 3: there together two years so it's getting there. And then
Speaker 3: but you kind of have to think about these things
Speaker 3: because it's like we're not ready now, we probably won't
Speaker 3: be ready for four or five years. And we got
Speaker 3: to freeze the eggs because we're in our thirties, you know,
Speaker 3: So that's it right there.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say to you, if you don't
Speaker 1: have them early, I feel like I had one on
Speaker 1: a few dates with a girl that was like, no way,
Speaker 1: I'm only adopting Oh really, And I was like, well
Speaker 1: that's no. She was saying, I'm not trying to do
Speaker 1: all this scientific shit, like look at all these kids
Speaker 1: in the world, and I was like, damn, I didn't
Speaker 1: feel like being gay was gonna mean I couldn't have
Speaker 1: my own kids. And we were like on two different
Speaker 1: playing fields.
Speaker 3: So now you know why U haul happens because you
Speaker 3: are having these conversations.
Speaker 1: There's not a lot of like commitment things, I think
Speaker 1: with women because we have relationships so bitch, we go together. See,
Speaker 1: it's too much, there's too much pressure. I listen. I'm
Speaker 1: not always I might not always, but I've felt it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's just different issues.
Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, you know, and you're having these conversations
Speaker 3: really early, so I don't and it's normal. It's like
Speaker 3: I think on the outside, it's probably like whoa, you
Speaker 3: guys are talking about that for a second third date.
Speaker 3: But it's like we ought to know why we're not
Speaker 3: going to get all the way down the road. And
Speaker 3: now I find out that you don't really want kids
Speaker 3: or you don't really this isn't the life you foresee it,
Speaker 3: which is a lot more normal in a community that's
Speaker 3: a lot more open and not so heteronormative. It's like
Speaker 3: these why do you think? Open relationships and you know,
Speaker 3: threesomes and like all of that stuff is so much
Speaker 3: more normal because you're already breaking the norm.
Speaker 1: Like tell me though, when it comes to freezing as
Speaker 1: there's so many ways to have a kid with a woman, right,
Speaker 1: maybe surrogate, maybe you're carrying your own baby. What about
Speaker 1: the sperm? Which have you guys talked about?
Speaker 3: So we actually have a sperm donor, how'd you pick it?
Speaker 3: He is like, he's our best friend.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he want him around? Okay, yeah, we want
Speaker 1: him around.
Speaker 3: I think I think he Yeah, he's a he's a
Speaker 3: really good friend of ours. He's absolutely beautiful. He's a
Speaker 3: gay man. Yes, oh he owns a design interior design,
Speaker 3: successful business. And we're like, it's just the best, you know.
Speaker 3: And so he is like actively like, yes, please let me.
Speaker 3: And so whose.
Speaker 1: Eggs do you like? Do you fight over that?
Speaker 3: I'm going to carry hers and she's going to carry mine? Okay,
Speaker 3: so you all want to hear something crazy. My girlfriend's
Speaker 3: fucking insane and she wants to have kids at the
Speaker 3: same time.
Speaker 1: She wants you got to be predy together. That sounds
Speaker 1: like a TLC show. Maybe I need dat. I actually
Speaker 1: that's my dream scenario.
Speaker 3: And she wants she wants me to carry twins, such
Speaker 3: three babies out.
Speaker 1: I know, I don't feel like I can understand this,
Speaker 1: which I also can get why you totally don't you
Speaker 1: like we gotta lean on each other. But for me,
Speaker 1: I think pregnancy is such a crazy experience. I've never
Speaker 1: been pregnant. Well, sorry, Mitch, you never went through with
Speaker 1: a full pregnancy. You never gay birse, I don't live
Speaker 1: in Texas. Let's just say that. Okay. By point, even
Speaker 1: when you do pregnant, I've been out on the paper pregnant, Okay.
Speaker 1: So I feel like there's a lot that you could
Speaker 1: feel left out on through a lesbian pregnancy experience. So
Speaker 1: I think to have it together must feel so special
Speaker 1: because one person is getting all the attention, one person
Speaker 1: is feeling all these things. You'll know what that feels like,
Speaker 1: Like that might be super jope. He gotta live in
Speaker 1: the house, you know, somebody gotta rub the feet.
Speaker 3: It's like fine until the babies come and then it's
Speaker 3: like this is all one. Yeah, that that sounds You
Speaker 3: got to put a boundary.
Speaker 1: I should know. This is not tell all the lesbians
Speaker 1: and nons where to find you. You can find me
Speaker 1: at Mault Glowing Key, our show at Made It Out Podcast,
Speaker 1: Made It Out Podcasts, and all of that will be
Speaker 1: in the description of this episode. Guys, make sure you
Speaker 1: also head all over to Black Effect dot com and
Speaker 1: get your tickets to see us in.
Speaker 2: Atlanta, Georgia on April the twenty seventh. We are part
Speaker 2: of the Black Effect. That's the bul baby.
Speaker 1: Okay, look at that.
Speaker 2: Hello, and then also, if you have a yet, go
Speaker 2: on over to whore hive dot com if you are
Speaker 2: in London or surrounding areas.
Speaker 1: But if you in Europe, go ahead and get your tickets.
Speaker 1: May fifth, we are at the Earth Theater in London. Again,
Speaker 1: that's at hore hive dot com. See there. Oh, this
Speaker 1: has been yet another episode of Horbores. Decision Back. It's bliss,
Speaker 1: bitch is welcome back, y'all. We're back for a cinema.
Speaker 1: We haven't done one in a while, but we haven't
Speaker 1: got two cinemas. That's why cinema we did. We got
Speaker 1: two last month. Let me look. Let me on the
Speaker 1: pat yeah man, and we and we posted on my
Speaker 1: think back to back too. I don't remember. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just don't think we.
Speaker 2: Spend enough time really talking about the cinema the ways
Speaker 2: we should. So I know this one like, I for
Speaker 2: sure want to get into it. But let me see
Speaker 2: the last cinemas well.
Speaker 1: Let me just say this, if you haven't watched Maya
Speaker 1: Kopa yet, please watch it. Can ye spoiler alert? Can
Speaker 1: you please put the camera on me for a moment.
Speaker 1: I need to say something to me. You didn't one
Speaker 1: moment you did. Who the fuck did I marry cinema?
Speaker 1: That don't count? Why does that not count? That wasn't
Speaker 1: a movie? Bitch, Hold on, let me let me get
Speaker 1: this out. Go ahead, Miss Kelly Rowland. She's not seeing this.
Speaker 1: She only sees this on our life. How she not
Speaker 1: seeing this? She says she she fucked with us, but
Speaker 1: she said she had patron did don't matter because we
Speaker 1: find have made this a clip. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: somethingss Kelly Rodan. Okay, I finished Madkofa and I loved it,
Speaker 1: mainly because we got to see you outside of shirt
Speaker 1: and pants. Now, what I was very upset about was
Speaker 1: the ending that man wanted more of you and you
Speaker 1: said no. I understand you have a great husband and
Speaker 1: a life and children in real life. You should have said, yes,
Speaker 1: we need the sequel. I needed a fantasy. It's agree,
Speaker 1: hun stand on motherfucking business. What's the business? Fuck him again?
Speaker 2: No, there was no business there. Let's be heard that
Speaker 2: he is the reason one of her closest friends got
Speaker 2: stabbed and killed. Huh exactly because she chat.
Speaker 1: And all with the same nigga. I don't know that
Speaker 1: I know. No, of course you don't. I know the
Speaker 1: paint got on that course you don't. We gonna get
Speaker 1: to the best friend got stabbed. No, yes she did not.
Speaker 1: The reason he is not directly related that just because
Speaker 1: he had bomb dick and everybody wanted to fuck him.
Speaker 1: She let he led that nigga to kill. No. And
Speaker 1: by the way, if you it was clearly clearly if
Speaker 1: you have not seen this that we are about to
Speaker 1: give all. I blame the white mother killing. Sure, Mandy,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, it does. Kelly should have you should
Speaker 1: have sucked him for TV. Sorry, continue, I was very upset.
Speaker 1: I watched it again last night and I just took
Speaker 1: just because I can't be the clup.
Speaker 2: We're not making that a clip. Who not bright, We
Speaker 2: can't post a spoiler alert clip like that.
Speaker 1: Yes, we can't. Bet. You just told him to end
Speaker 1: in Everybody watched that ship to see you from Kelly,
Speaker 1: but ship hit Twitter and they didn't make it to
Speaker 1: the end. So guess because I'm gonna be honest with you,
Speaker 1: no disrespect the first one. So you watched it twice, Okay.
Speaker 1: The first time I watched it, I was keeping to
Speaker 1: see the fucking Okay, and then because I have an
Speaker 1: hour and a half to give in the moment, but
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I gotta see this because you
Speaker 1: just have ad I just wanted no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: I wanted to see like this. She show a titt.
Speaker 1: That's what I needed to see. I needed to go no,
Speaker 1: but we said I got enough. I got top of Aerial.
Speaker 1: Look that's all I expected ever see the Miss Kelly
Speaker 1: Roman Top of Ariola really did it for me. It's like,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It felt like I was
Speaker 1: taking a peek into something that was my greatest fantasy.
Speaker 2: And so Mia Kopa y'all is a thriller that was
Speaker 2: directed by the Tyler Perry Child and I will say
Speaker 2: I'm just glad that Kelly brought her own hair team
Speaker 2: because normally the taller Perry whigs don't be given, but
Speaker 2: Kelly was giving her and her office slate.
Speaker 1: I think her estallas is Colin, who also dresses Cardi
Speaker 1: B and Victoria Monet.
Speaker 2: Colin Carter love him down, but no, she's been slaying lately.
Speaker 2: I really really like how she's been dressed in and
Speaker 2: she brought all the fashions to it.
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna hold you. I don't know what the
Speaker 1: hate was for. I loved it.
Speaker 2: I was in the bed like this, and it could
Speaker 2: be because I'm so horny and so withdrawn from.
Speaker 1: Sex and haven't really had that before that. I was
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, this is so great. So
Speaker 1: I guess we'll get right into the sexual tension actually
Speaker 1: because it wasn't too much. It wasn't jam packed with sex,
Speaker 1: but sexual tension can be the sexiest thing sometimes of
Speaker 1: a scene. Like we're so overloaded on sex from Twitter,
Speaker 1: ig all that stuff that I think feeling the vibe about,
Speaker 1: and then they're both so fine like that. Really well,
Speaker 1: I guess I wanted to start there with sex scenes.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the sex scenes not only in Miacopa,
Speaker 1: but I want to talk about overall sex scenes that
Speaker 1: we've seen recently in other films and television series. What
Speaker 1: were your thoughts on So there's three sex scenes that
Speaker 1: I wanted to speak about in this So you had
Speaker 1: there only three? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. In this film,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. So there was the
Speaker 1: sex scene. I guess I want to talk with the
Speaker 1: it is one because this is mormor
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.