WEBVTT - I Wet My Hair Back and Forth (with Jay Jurden) 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.440 Hey, do you want to see me in Langston live 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.840 in the Flesh looking cute. We'll come on out to 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:08.960 the Allegian Theater where we are doing a live version 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.360 of My mama told me the first live version featuring 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:17.040 Langston and myself. Hell yeah, my mama told me live 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:21.320 David and myself together. We're gonna be doing the damn 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:25.000 thing at the Allegian Theater February seven, thirty pm. We 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:26.599 would love for you to see it. We're gonna have 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:29.280 special guests. We're gonna have Q and A. We're gonna 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:32.879 throw stuff at the audience. Probably it's gonna be Mayhem. 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:37.200 Lanston is gonna numb chuck. I'm bringing my gosh darn 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:42.120 numb chucks. So get those tickets www dot Allegian Theater 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:50.120 dot com. Backslash Shows Backslash My baba told me, Bam, 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:53.720 do know, Justin Guarini, does that make sense? Now? Fuck you? Now, 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:56.920 fuck you. You're not gonna You're not gonna do that. 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:03.640 That's crazy. What that's crazy, that's wild. We didn't even 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:07.039 know we Justin Guarini had to come out as black 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:10.399 halfway through the American Idol season so that we would 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:14.000 even take about but Justin Guarini came out as black, 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:20.680 and black women still said, but my baby Kelly. Black 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:23.480 women still went, you know, I like Kelly. She's built 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:27.319 like a real one. Black women were like, good for you, 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:30.120 young man, move out of Kelly's way. She's got a 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:34.880 big final number. That's nice for you. A little like 0:01:35.120 --> 0:02:00.320 right now, I gotta see ms. Kelly clarkson racist money Field. 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:07.760 I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, bang bang bang 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:11.320 skeep skeep skeet. There it is there, it is. Ladies 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:15.280 and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.560 Told Me. The podcast will be died deep into the 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:22.920 pockets of black conspiracy reads, and we finally work to 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:26.920 prove that Mike Bibby is in fact going to be 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:30.680 the subject of season three of the Vound. He made 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:33.880 a bunch of light skinned man tattooed that dime on 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:40.480 their inner thighs and team dime, team dying, and then 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:45.519 take slave little like captive pictures, not like field slaves, 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:51.560 but like Russian girls slaves they all look like and 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:56.480 they're taking pictures showing their lower back tattoos, saying team dying. 0:02:56.919 --> 0:03:01.240 This is a criminality that needs to be brought to justice. 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.640 What's your personality of Mike Bibby. It's your cult leader 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:08.640 where you're like, that's the guy. Come on, I thought 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:10.960 he was sick the whole time I thought this was 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.200 I thought this was just some man to make a 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.680 wish to get to play NBA basketball. He looks like 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:23.840 he's slowly being a race, like he's barely he's barely there. 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:28.760 The boy you don't worship that, you certainly don't tattoo it. 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:31.440 He's really more of a shade than a man. Yeah, 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.320 these boys getting tattoos on their gooch for Mike Bibby. Man, 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:41.000 Fuck no. Jason Williams was the coolest guy on that team, 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.760 and Chris Webber was who you would you would admire 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.720 the most. You don't go for fucking Mike Bibby. He's 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:51.640 a third tier culte leader. I'll say that. I'm lank 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:55.680 Stint Kerman, I'm David Boy and we're talking. We're hot 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.960 into it and our guests today, I'm so excited for 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:01.840 our guests today. He he did a live show, our 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:05.040 only official live show of my Mama told Me, and 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:08.520 he was fucking phenomenal as he always is. He's so funny. 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.840 You know him from the problem with John Stewart on 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:13.880 Apple Plus TV? Is it plus? I? I can't remember 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:18.080 Apple Plus? Uh? Is that the network? It's Apple related. 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.520 You'll figure it out, you pieces of ship. He also, uh, 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:26.520 he has amazing comedy clips all over Comedy Central. He's 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:28.920 so funny. Please give it up for our guests. Mr 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:34.480 j Jerdys, Hey, what's up? Hi? Yeah, we're good? How 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:38.560 you I'm good? I mean the person I would follow 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:44.920 Chris Weber Vlondy Diva. Yeah, told me to do something 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:51.200 I can do that. I'd easily do that. Now let 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:53.480 me be clear. Are you all saying you would still 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:57.240 follow Vloody even after the disaster of him being GM 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:01.120 in Sacramento? You want to know something, then yes. And 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:06.880 here he's running a quote not a business. Yeah he 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.799 I'd still be able to get some fun stories from. 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:14.520 I mean, we gotta support Listen, we gotta support Eastern 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:21.039 European skill players like it's listen he nugget fan, keep 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:26.599 keep talking, keep yeah, Glanie Diva, Well before I would 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:30.480 ever ever follow Mike Bibby. Also, was it was it 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:33.039 jacked Mike Bibby or was it regular Mike be it 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:36.840 was playing regular Mike Bibby. Let me I'm gonna drop. 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.599 I'm gonna drop the picture of the chat. Also, I 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:44.080 know this is my next question. So are they saying 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:49.920 that their dimes? Are they talking about assist? I think 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:52.760 it was they were like team assists because they were assisting. 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.520 I think I think they were the boys that assisted. 0:05:56.640 --> 0:06:01.839 The King of Assists was the implication of of the thing, Oh, 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.839 that makes sense, like he's in the dimes and because 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:09.920 definitely not, it's definitely not. Like it feels like they 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:12.400 called him dime, do you know what I mean? Like 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.960 like that was their fun little nickname for him because 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.240 he was just so nasty with the dimes that that 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:22.840 he was team died, that they were team Dime. Hold on, Yeah, 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:24.680 you gotta take a look at it. It's weird and 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:26.240 we'll throw it up. We'll throw it up in the 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:30.560 videos to everybody everybody. But also like in a hallway, 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:34.200 it's not properly lit. Yeah. My only my only question 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.039 is that, like when that kind of stuff comes out, 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.560 what do you respond with, Like, you know, like the 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.520 want Dix and stuff is coming out now, like this 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:46.080 is like weird stuff That's what I'm saying. You need 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.560 a documentary. It looks like a back page listing. You 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:52.720 can't just you can't just look at this picture in 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:59.160 three knowing what we know about about histories of of 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:04.279 fucking ax Coults and weird uh control of other people 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:07.839 and not look at this team Dime shouldn't go something. 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:10.120 The funk was up here. That's how I felt when 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:11.640 I read the article and on four I was like, 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:15.760 this is weird. Yeah, this, this is this is like 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.280 a half step away from when B two K or 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.640 or no not B two K. Yeah, they had that 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:25.400 that I MX had to take that that naked picture together. 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:30.640 That that's before all the Chris Stokes stuff. Oh they 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.760 were doing that back when they were just being abused 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:36.600 by a different man. This is I thought that was 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:39.080 Chris Stokes that was behind the camera on that one. 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.120 But I know I thought Chris Stokes was like Marcus 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:47.400 Houston's age, like he was abusing ras B and the 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:51.080 other and little Fitz because they were younger. This can 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:55.760 I say something. Yeah, a lot of people was saying 0:07:55.800 --> 0:08:00.560 that there's not actually enough representation. I would say when 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.840 it comes to black cult leaders and older black men 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:05.960 taking advantage of young black people, and I want to 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:12.480 say good on them, not for touching the boys, not 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:16.800 for not for grooming the boys, but for breaking with 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:20.160 the stereotype. There's not a ton of it. It's like Africa, 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:26.320 Bambada who else mbada. We don't like to talk about it. 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:32.920 I don't. We don't like whoa, I mean who okay, 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:37.320 we already sending the email, then sending the email that okay. 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.920 But this is also this is like a sub my 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:42.200 mama told me because a lot of black parents would 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.439 be like, you know, those white those older white men 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:47.280 be touching you, but older niggas be touching folks too 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:50.679 all the time. I mean, it's really equality. It really 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:57.360 speaks to we are five minutes in. Yeah, I do 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:01.160 think it really speaks to a narration of black women 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.440 working really hard to protect their own even in the 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:10.520 face of fucking uh raping children. It truly was like them. Yeah. 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:15.600 I didn't have to say it. No, I put the 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.880 cream cheese on and I didn't spread a bit, you 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.360 know what I mean, It just it just sat where 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:24.080 it's sat. And I apologize to everybody. But but the 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.600 point being, I think it's just women being like, well, 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:30.480 not ours, but men be doing stuff white men watch out, 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:35.280 and it's like tell me everything, ma'am right. I think 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:36.960 I don't know if I'm gonna put this on women. 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:43.000 I think I'm more acknowledging their than I am putting 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:47.079 it on them as blame. But but sure make me 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:53.840 a monster, David makes me. Yeah, it's not to me. 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:57.640 Here's the thing, it's not that it's it's not that 0:09:57.760 --> 0:10:02.280 like it was. It was like the black community's fault 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:06.280 for not saying that like molestation existed. I truly think 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.520 it was like it was moved from priority number one 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.960 to like priority number three for them because it was 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:17.000 like racism, misogyny, ship, who I leave with the kids? 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:20.240 The houses, the houses on fire, There's a lot of 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.360 stuff you gotta save. Somebody has to be left with 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:29.920 the kids. Therefore that I'm not the leader of the 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:34.199 They're just learning to dance. This is motherfucker makes music 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:40.360 that's perfect to poplock, dude, we examine this anymore. I 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:47.240 also I would also argue that like head coaches, basketball coaches, 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.839 sports figures. Since we're talking about Mike Bibby and I 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:55.520 brought up the wand Dixon thing, that's a particular kind 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:59.760 of trust and brotherhood and like kind of paternal order. 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.760 Were like you you are as a as a single mother, 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.439 as a mom, you would also be like, I don't 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.120 need if that's you know, someone's teaching these boys how 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.559 to be men. Yeah, I know. I don't think you 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:12.839 don't remember to think that the blind Side went bad? 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:18.440 Wow wowka Michael or yeah great, But you don't think 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:22.520 there was like five times where they were just that kid. Okay, 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.480 now you say kid, and that's what makes it bad. 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:29.959 But that is the part that makes it back. But 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:34.200 if it's just a white Southern couple who wants to 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.920 to cook, who wants to be cooked by a larger 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:44.680 that's just man with sec dreams. That's just And I said, 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:46.120 as a person spent a lot of time in as Fer, 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:52.120 Mississippi and tell school's Alabama. Baby, you know, oh they 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:55.719 just kind of a nice deal. All I'm saying it 0:11:55.800 --> 0:12:00.280 was just like hey, every now and did and I 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:04.880 got to go upstairs watch we will talk about it downstairs. 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:07.719 The bad part is the fetishism and the dehumanization of 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.120 black bodies. The good part is did he get a 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:15.920 hot meal? Did you have gas? I'm starting Clemson. Listen, 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.800 somebody had to get them through that red shirt year. 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:20.840 That's all I'm saying. As a you end up starting 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:25.560 at liveing a university. If you're out there and uh 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:29.200 and you're being sued, the law offices of Jordan and 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:33.240 Bory are here to represent you with what I would 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:37.840 argue is uh is real sound long? You know, they 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:41.240 seem to be coming at you with real that's legal. 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:47.959 That's legal. You guys, you move somebody who's your wife's Yeah, okay, 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:51.360 So this so the mic baby stuff happening in Arizona 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:53.559 kind of makes it seem a little bit more like 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.480 it was like, you know when people I'll drink off 0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:00.679 kind of around the same area. He know, I heard, 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:05.320 yeah you go in the woods and once again another mama, 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.960 once a yeah, another My mama told me that my 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.880 mama didn't tell me my friends. Mama told me it's 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.120 the whole discrepancy between like, groups of young white boys 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.160 will jerk off together groups of young black boys were 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:19.199 just like, we'll pass the porn around and will you 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:20.840 be like, oh, make sure you go to page blah 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:23.120 blah blah in the book. We also be like, man, 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.680 I already see your dick. I've seen your dick enough. Yeah. 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.480 I think there's a never jerked off with nobody, never 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:33.520 even I never even was asked to be completely honest 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:39.560 saying I was when I said that. When I said that, 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.120 I fully expected y'all to be like, what the fund 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.600 is wrong with you? You didn't you know what I mean? 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:48.760 It's truly. I think it's like sometimes people are very 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:53.200 bored in suburban communities. I think there's also like a 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:58.280 level of exploration of a queerness, but with never having 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:02.120 to state that outright, because like you kind of you 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.319 want to know where people measure up if you've never 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.400 been locking, you've never been a shower situation, it's like 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:10.080 that you know what black you know what black people 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.440 and I won't say all black people, but what black 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:16.720 kids did in my school instead of that, like you 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:22.760 would nut check people like yeah yeah yeah, or even 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.480 like if someone ever bent down to pick something up, 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:29.040 you go and like pretend like you're getting sloppy toppy 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:32.520 from them, like we those were those. But That's what 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.600 I'm saying is that we engaged in a communal group 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:43.240 sexualized activity that wasn't as explicit, right, It was there 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:47.440 is something that was very juvenile about that. Well, I mean, 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.160 but also like getting together and jerking off. This also 0:14:50.240 --> 0:15:00.240 seems damn, I'm blowing up two phones over here. Might 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:06.600 maybe like, hey, they wash your mouth directly. It took 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:09.640 him a long time because those big, clunky muscles making hard, 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:14.520 but he finally found you. Yeah, I feel like we 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.400 used to. We used to walk around the entire school 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.000 like slapping each other on the ass as hard as 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:23.480 we possibly could. I think that was like a bit 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.320 that we would do. If like, you're talking to a 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.640 girl and then I would like come up and like, yeah, 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:31.000 slap you real hard and you scream out in front 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.880 of a lady. Okay, there was one This comes from 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:37.440 my high school. There was one story. I wouldn't there 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:39.840 when it happened, but we were people smacking ass is 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:42.720 a lot a lot of people played smacking. Ask someone 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:47.160 smacked another football's players and his response was, oh, that 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:55.160 was kind of soft. Oh okay, yeah, I didn't expect 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:58.880 that ass to be that solved. You got a smooth 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:02.720 but yeah, that was when that happened. Everyone was like, 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.800 what's going on that? I will say. Also, we had 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:11.160 an extremely an extremely Progressive girls basketball team. We had 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:14.840 like two or three state championships. Tons of out studs 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:19.640 while we were there. Oh, I mean, like I'm talking 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:25.000 about studs going to prim face. But I will say, 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.240 I will say it seems like you can be a 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:29.800 stud if you're a champion, do you know what I mean? Like, 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:34.840 even in the era of major homophobia and violence against 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:38.880 you know, lesbians and gay men alike, if you're a champion, 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:42.800 you're good. Yeah. The only way you can beat homophobias 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:48.960 if you also beat Callaway, that's it. Okay, win state 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:54.280 and then you get to eat couchie. Look, you gotta celebrate. 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:57.880 How you celebrate. That's not for me to decide. Yeah, No, 0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:00.720 whatever you want to do with that trophy, that's business. 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.280 But but you ain't doing it with a second place trophy. 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:08.520 And I'll tell you that much. All right, We we 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.760 can't keep fooling around this is this is too much silly. 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.719 Before we've even gotten to the thing. You came to 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:19.359 us Jay with a conspiracy theory. I guess conspiracy theory 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.760 is probably a more technical definition for what this is, 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:27.800 although for I think it had almost it borders on 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:32.000 the like old wives tale energy If that makes sense. 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:35.879 It has like old wives tail moon rising inside of 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:41.920 this ship. But you said, my mama told you love 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:47.359 that one, just old wife tale. He meant tail in 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:51.040 the in the in the colloquial thing. I understand black 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:55.679 tail magazine. Yeah, you were talking about as I got it, alright, 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:04.760 not not the whole, but just I know boy pretty 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:13.760 well you're talking about the whole, the entire catalog. All right. Well, 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:19.280 you said, my mama told me you will catch a 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:27.160 bad cold if your hair is wet. Yes, So I 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:32.640 think that this is they're multiple prongs to this. So 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:37.119 first of all, it deals with black mothers never wanting 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.720 their black children to look like white children in public. 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:46.160 So you don't ever want your child to have wet 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:50.600 hair outside Like that's when a black mom does not 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.720 want you to be outside with your hair wet. It 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:56.399 just don't want it. Even at the pool, they'll like 0:18:56.480 --> 0:19:01.720 dry your hair off, Like I'm going back in. This 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:05.239 is a game? Is this the thought exercise? But let's go. 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.199 So that's the first thing. The second thing is that 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:12.600 I'm from Mississippi, like southern and this kind of cross culture. 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:18.480 Southern people truly think that that cold air is poisonous 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:22.000 and the air at night is poisonous. They were like 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:26.520 wrap up babies to protect them from the night air, 0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:31.760 the same air five hours ago. Sure, but they'll be 0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:33.520 like that night air. I don't want to get on 0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:37.280 this baby. It's just directly blowing. It's also the calmest 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:41.520 night air in the country right in Chicago. Would makes 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.880 sense to me, there was there was an entire show 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:48.520 call in the heat of the night. Yeah, I honestly 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:52.040 think the air turns off in Mississippi after a certain hours. 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:55.920 And the and the third thing is like I think 0:19:56.000 --> 0:20:00.159 people thinking that cold air and cold hair leads to 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:05.760 death is truly connected to William Henry Harrison. Now it's 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:10.359 it's he's a president who apparently didn't wear a coat 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:13.920 or it was kind of wet on his inauguration day 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:17.800 and then he died a few days later. But here's 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:20.560 the thing. He also was an old white man in 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:25.879 the eight hundreds. That is never just taken into account. 0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:31.919 That's what I'm so like, all these things combined so 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.080 that like black mothers would be like make sure you've 0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:35.760 got some in your head, make sure you make sure 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:38.560 you're hair and wet. And there's like kind of like 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:41.560 an additional part of it, where like you also as 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:46.200 a little black boy, we I couldn't grow my hair out. 0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:49.040 I think I didn't. I'm gonta able to grow my 0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:55.000 hair until you guys weren't allowed to grow your hair cut. 0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:57.879 I didn't have the same haircut since I've had haircuts 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:05.359 lengthsting lengthting. Your privilege is showing right. I used to 0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:09.920 have to get the even stephen one even all over 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:13.159 or I can get it. I just got it. I 0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:15.360 just wouldn't got it. I can get it. I could 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:18.080 get like a fade, but even that was like what 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:23.000 you trying to? You know? That's see I think well 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:27.240 if I made I think it was that my mom, 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.920 while while at points was a single mom, she always 0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:34.119 had a like a stepdad like I always there was. 0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:38.159 She was always remarried to someone and at that point 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:42.240 she was excited for us to have bonding time, which 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:45.000 meant that like, I didn't have a mother in a 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:50.840 barbershop dictating my hair. I had. I had a nigga 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:54.320 who who didn't really give a fuck what my hair 0:21:54.440 --> 0:21:57.200 looked like dictating it. So I was like I want 0:21:57.280 --> 0:21:59.560 this and he was like yeah. The boys they want 0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:02.760 that I got to grow up. I think I got 0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:06.520 to grow like some modicum of an afro for a 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:09.080 little bit, and then my grades start to dip and 0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:15.760 my mom instantly connected to all your brain cells. It's 0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:21.040 growing out your damn scout. It was. Do you understand 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:26.280 the punishment? Okay, I don't. I never want to sensationalize 0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:30.880 things as a comedian, but truly, that's like a horror 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:36.040 scene for so many people of other races, is being 0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:43.479 forcibly shaved. Yeah right, that's like what happened. That's like 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:46.919 what happened to Anne Hathaway's character in lay Miss, and 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:50.200 she was the institute dying of tuberculosis, you know what 0:22:50.280 --> 0:22:52.480 I'm saying. And that was the worst thing that was 0:22:52.520 --> 0:22:56.000 happening to her. That's what I was going through. That 0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:58.880 was punishment was to say it happened in that reformer's 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:02.120 character and beefa Vendela that you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, 0:23:03.160 --> 0:23:05.080 but it just happens in a little Black Boys every 0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:09.119 two weeks. Yeah, Well, you should have snitched, is I 0:23:09.200 --> 0:23:12.479 think the argument here. I think you should have told 0:23:12.520 --> 0:23:14.720 on your mother and then you could have gone to 0:23:14.800 --> 0:23:19.080 a nice group home where they'll never shade imposed to 0:23:19.080 --> 0:23:22.680 call the cop with the same hipcut as me. Look 0:23:22.720 --> 0:23:24.879 at me, I look like a fool. I don't know 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:26.800 about you, but I was. I was threatened with the 0:23:26.840 --> 0:23:28.960 cops all the time. I got a lot of call 0:23:29.040 --> 0:23:35.280 the cops in call that was that was my call, CBS. 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:42.600 Black disciplinarian is so aware of response time. Yeah, oh, 0:23:42.680 --> 0:23:46.400 sure of what they can get away with before somebody 0:23:46.440 --> 0:23:50.400 shows like. That's the one part of racism they can leverage. 0:23:50.680 --> 0:23:57.399 They go, they go come here. Okay, you think you 0:23:57.440 --> 0:23:59.480 think they're gonna come here and then be able to 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:05.960 figure it out from your little inarticulate ass English. You're 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:13.760 gonna be able to explain hip what's happening to you? 0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:17.560 Then he's not gonna give up. Just a black mom saying, 0:24:17.600 --> 0:24:21.400 who do you think they'll believe? Yea, I have a job, 0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:25.120 all right. You're in that weird not cute stage where 0:24:25.119 --> 0:24:29.880 your teeth are killed in who are you gonna eleven 0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:33.960 years old? Haven't grown unto your nose yet? A matter 0:24:33.960 --> 0:24:39.880 of fact, take that plaeum food off? Is your mom 0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:45.679 becoming bill? O'Reilly? That Albert and the gang? What kinds 0:24:45.720 --> 0:24:49.200 of gang? Oh man? That was the weirdest era of Foo. 0:24:49.800 --> 0:24:51.520 You know what, I wrote it all the way to 0:24:51.600 --> 0:24:54.119 the end. Were you did you have some did you 0:24:54.200 --> 0:24:56.600 write it all the way to like the Harlem Globe trotters. 0:24:56.600 --> 0:25:03.119 Fooboo was big dog, Yeah, that's whoa. I went to 0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:08.520 Muhammad Ali Fubool got a Mark Echo shirt on right now, 0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:13.639 And you know what's fucked up is that's what I 0:25:13.720 --> 0:25:17.960 switched to after I made it past Platinum Foboo was. 0:25:18.000 --> 0:25:19.879 I was like, no, I'm an Echo man now. And 0:25:21.240 --> 0:25:25.080 white guys they co opted that too quick. Also, that 0:25:25.160 --> 0:25:31.280 man was making shirts we really couldn't wash. R was swayed. 0:25:31.720 --> 0:25:36.119 We Yeah, we didn't have the technology back then. You 0:25:36.400 --> 0:25:41.680 would look bugged out so fast. Fucking Echo man, I 0:25:41.760 --> 0:25:44.120 always I always assumed you were like a Mecca man, 0:25:44.280 --> 0:25:47.000 but maybe I wore Mecca too. I wore Mecca too, 0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:49.880 but but not Mecca was more expensive at the time. 0:25:50.400 --> 0:25:56.400 Was once Platinum Fuboo and and fucking Echo and and 0:25:56.960 --> 0:26:00.280 Sean John. All of those could be founded at like 0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:03.760 a value city or goddamn Marshals And yeah, you remember 0:26:03.760 --> 0:26:05.600 when you would go to Marshall's and you'd find like 0:26:05.680 --> 0:26:09.159 the Sean John and you'd be like, yeah, I got you. 0:26:09.320 --> 0:26:15.639 Look around like this. This can't be that defective. I 0:26:15.680 --> 0:26:19.960 actually don't need the matching bloor pants, but this jacket going. Yeah, 0:26:21.640 --> 0:26:23.560 you're away with a bunch of this ship. If you 0:26:23.600 --> 0:26:26.119 have the jacket, the pants are assumed to be at home. 0:26:27.680 --> 0:26:33.800 I also remember when Denham became so shiny, Yeah, shiny 0:26:33.840 --> 0:26:37.240 Denham like hot boys there? Did you ever overshoot the 0:26:37.280 --> 0:26:39.480 shiny Denham? I got my mom to buy me some. 0:26:42.560 --> 0:26:46.480 I did, I think, And if I couldn't, because I 0:26:46.480 --> 0:26:48.840 identify with this so much, I think, if I could 0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:51.800 articulate what I think the mistake is is that when 0:26:51.840 --> 0:26:54.479 you are a kid who's not allowed to buy shiny 0:26:54.520 --> 0:26:58.800 Denham and you only get one pair of shiny dinnam pants, 0:26:59.200 --> 0:27:02.240 you think you have to get the shiniest Denham possible, 0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:05.719 And the reality is what you want is just that 0:27:05.720 --> 0:27:09.119