Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven p m
Speaker 1: Pacific Booms. If you thought more hours a day, minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse to clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: starts right now in the air everywhere. Good to have
Speaker 1: you along. It's a Saturday podcast. Four hours not enough.
Speaker 1: We do this now eight days a week. We thank
Speaker 1: you for finding the podcast. We thank you for supporting
Speaker 1: the podcast. It does help us out. In five stars
Speaker 1: five stars, remember that it seems ridiculous. I don't understand
Speaker 1: the politics of the business. But the people that are
Speaker 1: in the podcast ask Game, the big cohunas in the podcast,
Speaker 1: Game that are in charge of this stuff, they do
Speaker 1: look at those numbers. The five stars. The reviews of
Speaker 1: the podcast are also important as well, so all of
Speaker 1: those things. All of those things. But this is a
Speaker 1: mom and pop shop in many respects. We don't have
Speaker 1: a big advertising budget. The only advertising we have guerrilla marketing,
Speaker 1: word of mouth, which is the most effective, most effective advertising.
Speaker 1: I told the story a few months ago. I someone
Speaker 1: I used to date contacted me because she was going
Speaker 1: out with someone and they talked about During the date,
Speaker 1: they were having small talk and they were talking about what,
Speaker 1: you know, they listened to. It came up in conversation
Speaker 1: and this guy's like, you know, I like this one
Speaker 1: sports cast, sports podcast, the Ben Maller Show, and uh,
Speaker 1: that's that's the kind of stuff that helps grow the show.
Speaker 1: So thank you if you're doing that. We welcome in
Speaker 1: West of the four or five. I hear him breathing,
Speaker 1: David gas Scot was a pretty well run a day
Speaker 1: for you. Yesterday we had Benny Versus the Penny, got
Speaker 1: to uh hang out with the chief a little bit,
Speaker 1: and you got to dress up and place Santa. So, yes,
Speaker 1: it's fun Friday for you. I'm a little jealous. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I would like to thank you. I
Speaker 1: know it was very difficult to book your father on
Speaker 1: the show. I know it took a lot of work
Speaker 1: to get him on. I'm sure we had to pay
Speaker 1: him a lot of money. But but now, I love
Speaker 1: your dad, and your dad's great and uh, even though
Speaker 1: he lives west of the four or five two, I'll
Speaker 1: put up with him. But uh, yeah, it was great
Speaker 1: to talk to him, and I love We got into
Speaker 1: a lot of different things about the police and defunding
Speaker 1: the police and and what that really means in the
Speaker 1: real world, and we wrapped it up with what really
Speaker 1: people wanted from what I understand here, just hearing stories
Speaker 1: about o J. Just hearing stories about your father's experience
Speaker 1: living that this amazing story, and all of our lives
Speaker 1: that were around those days. And he was right in
Speaker 1: the middle of the frying pan when all that was
Speaker 1: going on. So it was great to talk to him.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure we'll have him on again at some
Speaker 1: point here, and so we'll have him on back down
Speaker 1: the line. Yeah, it was it was good getting away
Speaker 1: from the sports activity for a little bit. But uh,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's it's kind of a wild, wild year,
Speaker 1: and I think that kind of he summarized most of
Speaker 1: it when we when you first opened the bag, asked
Speaker 1: him about some of these questions. What I mentioned the
Speaker 1: thing that and I still I mentioned this to him,
Speaker 1: but that video of somewhere in l A walking down
Speaker 1: the street and it's like a war zone. It's like
Speaker 1: a demilitarized zone with all these police cars just lit
Speaker 1: up and tagged by these loser thugs. Uh. It was ridiculous,
Speaker 1: It was so stupid and uh but an were just
Speaker 1: that yesterday and go back and you didn't hear that
Speaker 1: podcast for some reason. It is available forever and ever
Speaker 1: and ever at the end until someone pulls it off
Speaker 1: the podcast world, and then it will be gone forever.
Speaker 1: At some point, I'm sure all this will be gone,
Speaker 1: but not for a long time, we hope. So on
Speaker 1: this podcast we have a wellness check, Humdinger of a
Speaker 1: Day and pop quiz. Very exciting. I know you're excited, guest,
Speaker 1: So what are you starting with? Alright, let's start with
Speaker 1: the wellness check. Now, as much as you like to
Speaker 1: take pot shots at the ability of the Mallew Militia
Speaker 1: whether to read or to right put their pants on,
Speaker 1: not drool any of those over the toilet seat. Wow. Well,
Speaker 1: one thing that we do when you're in the Mallew Militia,
Speaker 1: when you take the oath as a brigade deer, you
Speaker 1: become a brigadier general. In the Mallew Militia. Okay, when
Speaker 1: you do these that that thing when you cross the
Speaker 1: line there and you solemnly swear to support and defender
Speaker 1: ben Mallers show against all enemies foreign in domesty, we
Speaker 1: look out for each other in the Mallew Militia. We
Speaker 1: have a motto on the Mallew Militia it that every man,
Speaker 1: woman and child is welcome to take the oath and joint.
Speaker 1: Don't care if you're conservative, live or whatever, gay, straight,
Speaker 1: any raised, colored, creator religion. You gotta have thick skin.
Speaker 1: You gotta learn to take yourself lightly and above all else,
Speaker 1: you gotta be willing to bust balls with each other.
Speaker 1: But we also look out for our own right. We
Speaker 1: bust chops. For example, a few weeks ago, a friend
Speaker 1: of the show, guy's been calling me for so many years,
Speaker 1: Dick in Dayton. Dick dropped the bombshell, Dick from Dayton,
Speaker 1: who has been a state. But this guy has been
Speaker 1: calling me for pretty much the entire time I've been
Speaker 1: at Fox Sports Rights twenty years. We've had a relationship.
Speaker 1: How ridiculous is that I've ever met Dick from Dayton.
Speaker 1: I've just talked to him once a week or so
Speaker 1: for twenty years. It's crazy. So anyway, Dick from Dayton
Speaker 1: announced on the show a couple weeks ago he had
Speaker 1: the COVID. Right now, I look at the numbers, I
Speaker 1: look at the science and for you know, you have
Speaker 1: a ninety nine point nine percent survival rate or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. It's a very large survivor. But when you
Speaker 1: get to a certain age, it becomes more of a problem.
Speaker 1: So unfortunately, you know, Dick has been calling me for
Speaker 1: a long time. He's in the age range where this
Speaker 1: becomes problematic. Right, it becomes more of a more of
Speaker 1: an issue. You gotta pay closer attention to it than
Speaker 1: someone who's, you know, a thirty year old professional athlete
Speaker 1: for example. Uh, he's not a spring chicken anymore. And
Speaker 1: so after he rang the alarm bells, Dick from Daton
Speaker 1: on the show and then he vanished. And he normally
Speaker 1: calls in on Monday or Tuesday to recap the Browns.
Speaker 1: Hey bet, how about the Browns you know? Or the
Speaker 1: Bangals you know? And he he wants to of course,
Speaker 1: he never watches the game, but he wants to talk
Speaker 1: about them because he loves calling into sports radio. So
Speaker 1: he calls in, he announced he has the COVID. We
Speaker 1: had not heard from him for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: I started to get a little worried. I I had
Speaker 1: friends of mine who are fans of the show, that said, Hey,
Speaker 1: what happened to Dick from Dayton. He said he had
Speaker 1: to COVID. What happened to him? He hasn't called the
Speaker 1: show and I didn't. Initially I didn't think about it,
Speaker 1: but then when people were bringing it up to me
Speaker 1: as I got crap, what happened to Dick and Dayton?
Speaker 1: So um, First of all, I would like to thank
Speaker 1: the crack support staff of the Malleard Militia. I will
Speaker 1: not reveal the guilty, but someone in the mallem Militia
Speaker 1: had tracked down Dick in Dayton's phone number. Now I
Speaker 1: didn't do this. Somebody reached out to me and said, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, somewhat recently we had Dick from Dayton's phone number.
Speaker 1: So I believe it's or not David, I believe it
Speaker 1: or not. I earlier this week dialed Dick. I did.
Speaker 1: I called in Dick from Dayton. I called in after
Speaker 1: the show. It was early in the morning. Uh, and
Speaker 1: it was. Secondly, it was a surreal conversation. Okay, because
Speaker 1: first of all, I called the number that I was given,
Speaker 1: not knowing if this, mind you, was actually Dick and
Speaker 1: Dayton's number. This could have been any any Ohio Dayton,
Speaker 1: Ohio number. It was a landline, so that led me
Speaker 1: to believe it probably was Dick from Dayton. He was
Speaker 1: an old guy with the landline. That's the cliche. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I may I make the phone call. And it was
Speaker 1: the reason it was surreal. Someone else answered the photo
Speaker 1: woman and you know, Dick from Dayton, single guy, as
Speaker 1: far as I knew and all that, but you know,
Speaker 1: the woman was there, and so I asked, is that
Speaker 1: is Dick from Dayton there? And she seemed gob smack
Speaker 1: like you know, what is this about? You know that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. And I'm like, oh, this is a
Speaker 1: bad sign. And I said, well, no, it's it's um
Speaker 1: you know, it's been in l a. I'm I just
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to I heard this was his number,
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to talk to Dick from Dayton
Speaker 1: and and she's like paused again, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this must not be the right number. I'm like, how embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Is this you know? I mean this embarrassing. I called
Speaker 1: up someone that you know, It's like six thirty in
Speaker 1: the morning, and Dayton, I'm calling him up. And right
Speaker 1: after this, half an hour after the show. Um, and
Speaker 1: then then I guess a light bulb went off on
Speaker 1: her head and she said, oh, Richard. I guess she
Speaker 1: calls him rich you know, Dick Richard at the same
Speaker 1: and so anyway, she passed. Eventually got she starts screaming,
Speaker 1: this is the funny thing. So it's okay, I'll get him.
Speaker 1: And she starts screaming, hey, Richard, you got a call, right,
Speaker 1: And then I hear in the background, who is it?
Speaker 1: Is it work? Is it Lows? You know? Because he
Speaker 1: works at Lows? And so eventually he got to the phone,
Speaker 1: and this is the this is the most surreal situation.
Speaker 1: So I'm on the phone with this guy's been calling
Speaker 1: me for twenty years. I'm like, hey, daken s Ben
Speaker 1: Maller from Fox, I just wanted to see if you
Speaker 1: were doing okay. And about fifty percent of the conversation,
Speaker 1: hand to god, he was trying to I had to
Speaker 1: explain to him. He didn't understand who I was I
Speaker 1: was trying to explain to him that it was really
Speaker 1: me and it was not somebody pretending to be me,
Speaker 1: like he he thought I might be an impostor you know,
Speaker 1: who is this what? You know? I know, I I
Speaker 1: You've talked to me on the radio and I was,
Speaker 1: And finally I was able to convey it's him. But
Speaker 1: literally half the phone call was me saying, no, it's
Speaker 1: really me, and I'm you know, I'm the guy on
Speaker 1: the radio. And and so anyway, I finally convinced him
Speaker 1: and we we talked a little bit. We talked it out,
Speaker 1: and he was a little out of it as always
Speaker 1: um and just the final point, he did tell me
Speaker 1: he lost the sense of taste and smell, which which
Speaker 1: so many people you have have said they report that
Speaker 1: that issue when they have the COVID. He said it
Speaker 1: was kind of like a cold and it wasn't all
Speaker 1: that bad, and he was actually said he told me
Speaker 1: he was starting to feel better. But he did complain Dick,
Speaker 1: and Daton never complains about anything Dick from Daton, but
Speaker 1: he did it seem a little perturb which is completely
Speaker 1: understandable that some co worker apparently had come to his
Speaker 1: work and showed up with the COVID and that's how
Speaker 1: he got it wasn't even from a customer, it was
Speaker 1: from somebody who was a coworker that showed up with
Speaker 1: this thing. Um. And then just to make sure it
Speaker 1: was not a fake Dick from Dayton. He then at
Speaker 1: the end, I'm asking him how he's doing. After spending
Speaker 1: half the time trying to tell him who I was.
Speaker 1: I then asked him for a wellness check. He tells
Speaker 1: me how he's doing. He then starts lamenting the fact
Speaker 1: that there's no Ohio State Michigan game this weekend, which
Speaker 1: would have been played today. And then also he was
Speaker 1: coming how about the Browns. You know, It's like it
Speaker 1: was just like we like a flip of a switch
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, and he had become the sports
Speaker 1: radio caller guy Dick from Dayton. And but the good
Speaker 1: news is he did tell me. At the very end,
Speaker 1: he says he's feeling better and he thinks he can
Speaker 1: go back to Lows. He was hoping to go back
Speaker 1: this weekend if he's cleared. And and then he dropped
Speaker 1: the name of like several different radio people from Ohio
Speaker 1: that he calls into. Yeah, well, I'm glad you're called.
Speaker 1: You know, Steve and Bill they're they're worried about me too.
Speaker 1: You know. It was just it was just great. I
Speaker 1: love the guy. He's such a character, and he's like
Speaker 1: that's just how he is man, just how he is.
Speaker 1: And uh, but he's doing all right, So hopefully he
Speaker 1: will be back on the show. And I just want
Speaker 1: to know, guess gun, do you think Colin Cowhard would
Speaker 1: call and check in on a listener? Depends how old
Speaker 1: she is. I have plot whoever tracked down his number
Speaker 1: that is that has some great recon get his number
Speaker 1: to find that and then get it over to his
Speaker 1: A plus, we have tremendous the investigative arm of the
Speaker 1: Mallard militia. Uh, wonderful. We have advisors and experts and
Speaker 1: people that are specialists in different areas of tracking things down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would have. I have no way. So now I
Speaker 1: didn't give Dicken date my number and I didn't call
Speaker 1: What did I call from a block number? Oh well,
Speaker 1: I don't think Dick's text savvy enough. So even if
Speaker 1: I didn't call from a block number, I don't think
Speaker 1: they'll be able to figure out that it's my number. Um,
Speaker 1: but but yeah, it was. It was great. So I'm
Speaker 1: very happy about that. He adds to the list now
Speaker 1: of callers I've actually talked to off the air. That
Speaker 1: list includes Cowboy, I believe Cowboy and Winsor We've got
Speaker 1: of course, Doc Mike calls me every week. He's on
Speaker 1: that list, Pete and Pittsburgh. I've had some off of
Speaker 1: your conversations. He's a retired caller. He's caller back in
Speaker 1: the day, the great J. Scoop Lance the bus driver
Speaker 1: is on that list, Genie and Medford, the late great
Speaker 1: Genie and Medford, and a handful of others that we
Speaker 1: have interacted with. Blind Scott. I've talked to him, so
Speaker 1: we hung out a few times in Boston back back
Speaker 1: in the day over the years. So you can add
Speaker 1: Dick and Dayton to us. But he is doing okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: as long as he's alive and well, that's that's good.
Speaker 1: Have you talked to Blind Scott in a while, You know,
Speaker 1: he he doesn't call the show that often anymore. He
Speaker 1: he does harass me on email. He sends me a
Speaker 1: lot of emails. Um, and so lately his Michigas is
Speaker 1: that he's getting a new dog. He's getting a new
Speaker 1: dog because Kramer's being taken out the pastor and he said, January,
Speaker 1: you send me this email. He says, I'm getting my
Speaker 1: new dog. They let me know today. So he's got
Speaker 1: to go to New Jersey and quarantine, I believe, and
Speaker 1: then he gets the dog. I believe. That's how that goes.
Speaker 1: Let a mess. Yeah, So good times, good times. So
Speaker 1: now I have this this tale I would like to tell.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call this one a humdinger of a day,
Speaker 1: all right. It started as a lazy Monday afternoon and
Speaker 1: became topsy turvy, was turned up side down, upside down.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna flash back in the hot tup times.
Speaker 1: This goes back to as I said, Monday, and I'm
Speaker 1: doing the normal routine. I'm fasting, and I saying to
Speaker 1: go to the store and buy some some bread and
Speaker 1: the few other things random things. Have to buy a
Speaker 1: few things at the store, bread, salsa, some some other stuff.
Speaker 1: So I go to the store, and uh, I pay
Speaker 1: my tab at the grocery store. I go to the
Speaker 1: car and that's it, you know. I go to the car.
Speaker 1: That's it. Um. But as Paul Harvey would say, all right,
Speaker 1: for what it's worth. You know what the news is.
Speaker 1: But in a minute you're going to hear the rest
Speaker 1: of the story. So it's not just a normal meat
Speaker 1: going to the store buying salsa and bread would not
Speaker 1: qualify as a mention on the podcast. So I pay
Speaker 1: my I pay my bill David at the store there
Speaker 1: and I go to the car. I drive home, short
Speaker 1: drive live right near the store, back to the Mallard Mansion.
Speaker 1: I pull into the Mallard Mansion parking adjacent to the
Speaker 1: Mallar Mansion. I jump out, I grabbed my food, and
Speaker 1: I head to the door. I reached down to get
Speaker 1: the key to open the door, and I noticed that
Speaker 1: something is not right. There's something missing. And initially I
Speaker 1: wasn't sure what I had the keys, so it wasn't
Speaker 1: the keys. I had the keys, obviously. I got in
Speaker 1: the car, I was able to drive home. I started
Speaker 1: like kind of feeling around my leg. My wallet was
Speaker 1: not in my pocket. Yeah, no keeping. At the time,
Speaker 1: I was like, well, this is no big deal. You know,
Speaker 1: I was wearing sweatpants and they had kind of small pockets,
Speaker 1: so I figured probably it probably fell out, like on
Speaker 1: the side of the you know when you sit down
Speaker 1: the sideboard there of the car. So yeah, yeah. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll go get it. So I go back.
Speaker 1: I'm not even concerned at this point. I reached down
Speaker 1: near the side of the seat there and there's buffs.
Speaker 1: Oh boy. So then I'm thinking, well, it must have
Speaker 1: fallen out. It's on the floorboard underneath the seat, because
Speaker 1: maybe it fell down and bounced it the logical that
Speaker 1: could happen. So I reached down, goose egg nothing. Nothing.
Speaker 1: So now I'm starting to get a little concerned. So
Speaker 1: then then I go to the back where I put
Speaker 1: the groceries to the back of the car, and I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, maybe I just put my wallet down
Speaker 1: when I put the groceries. I didn't even realize it.
Speaker 1: So I go to the back. Nothing and then I
Speaker 1: had this ah ha moment. It hit me like a
Speaker 1: bag of bricks. My goddamn wallet had must have fallen
Speaker 1: out when getting into the car, right, So I immediately
Speaker 1: jump back into malamobile and I am breaking every land
Speaker 1: speed record to get back because I figured it if
Speaker 1: it fell out, I paid for the food, so it
Speaker 1: had to fall out in the parking line like when
Speaker 1: I was getting into the car. I was as soon
Speaker 1: it just fell out when I was getting the car,
Speaker 1: So I zoomed back to the to the grocery store,
Speaker 1: and I had remembered the space that I had parked in,
Speaker 1: so I slowly turned the get into the parking lot.
Speaker 1: I turned the corner into the line where I'm parked
Speaker 1: into the space, and another cars parked there. And I
Speaker 1: just left a few minutes ago in another cars park there.
Speaker 1: So I hop out of the park a hop out
Speaker 1: of the car. I then get on my hands and
Speaker 1: knees in the parking lot, thinking my wallet was under
Speaker 1: the car. Oh, nothing, There's nothing under the car. So
Speaker 1: then I'm like where could it be? So then I
Speaker 1: retraced my steps and I was like, I tried to remember,
Speaker 1: mind you I just done this, but you don't remember
Speaker 1: exactly where you're walking. I tried to remember exact way
Speaker 1: I walked out of the store through the parking lot,
Speaker 1: thinking maybe it's down. I'll to find it on the ground.
Speaker 1: I found ziltra. So now I'm really getting agitated and annoyed. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm like, holy crap, what have I done? I got everything?
Speaker 1: I got my credit card, that a little bit of
Speaker 1: cash in there. I had my driver's license and my
Speaker 1: whole life was in that wallet, and what a pain
Speaker 1: in the acid is to replace all those things. So
Speaker 1: I go into the store with my head down, my
Speaker 1: tail between my legs defeated, and they're kind of busy.
Speaker 1: I walked in through the way you're not supposed to
Speaker 1: go in, and I finally got the hold of one
Speaker 1: of the managers of the store, and I very quietly asked,
Speaker 1: did anyone turn in the wallet? And she paused for
Speaker 1: a second. The woman, very nice woman. She paused for
Speaker 1: a second, and then she she said, yes, yes, someone
Speaker 1: just did turn in a wall a few minutes ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And sure enough, someone had found my wallet in the
Speaker 1: parking lot of Good Samaritan had taken it in and
Speaker 1: I don't even know who. They didn't leave their name.
Speaker 1: I don't know who it is. I would really like
Speaker 1: to thank them. And so there's a chance this my
Speaker 1: my business card was in the wall, and I'm assuming
Speaker 1: they opened the wallet to look what is this? They
Speaker 1: might know maybe who I am or something like that,
Speaker 1: maybe tracked down this podcast. So if you are the
Speaker 1: person that found my wallet, I would like you to
Speaker 1: reach out now I've purposely not named the store or
Speaker 1: the time that happened. So the reason I did that
Speaker 1: I left those pieces of information out is because if
Speaker 1: the on the off chance that whoever found my wallet
Speaker 1: reaches out to me, I will and gives me the
Speaker 1: time this happened and the store, I will give you
Speaker 1: a little bit of a reward. So I'm offering a
Speaker 1: reward because that's you saved me so many headaches, and
Speaker 1: he didn't have to do that. I'm shocked that someone did.
Speaker 1: I didn't take a dollar out of it, and all
Speaker 1: the money was there, all the credit cards, everything was
Speaker 1: just like I had left it. Um, So so thank
Speaker 1: you who knew that we still have good people living
Speaker 1: amongst us. You get lucked out, man, you really did.
Speaker 1: At how much money did you have in your wallet
Speaker 1: at the time, I'd rather not disclose letter I shouldn't
Speaker 1: guess good, but there were some some twenty dollar bills.
Speaker 1: There were a few five dollar bills in there, Okay,
Speaker 1: so it's not like you had a couple of bucks.
Speaker 1: I yeah, I had more than like eight bucks. I had.
Speaker 1: It was probably around you know, maybe a hundred bucks
Speaker 1: or something like that. But well, you know what, it is.
Speaker 1: I used to use cash a lot, and I just
Speaker 1: I haven't spent it on anything, so I just kind
Speaker 1: of haven't leaving I was just leaving in my wallet.
Speaker 1: But I I pretty much use credit cards exclusively, and
Speaker 1: I don't even know I should just take it out
Speaker 1: right now. What's the point of having it I don't
Speaker 1: use I know, I don't use cash. Really. I used
Speaker 1: to go to Tito's tacos and they were cash only,
Speaker 1: but now they take credit cards, so I don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about that. By the way, I went to
Speaker 1: Tito's last weekend. I concerned about that. It was great.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? What do you mean? What
Speaker 1: am I talking about? I'm not even bringing it up,
Speaker 1: but I I'm not even bringing it up anymore. Well,
Speaker 1: it's not lost lost cause I see. Well, wait till
Speaker 1: you get your Christmas gift this, you'll be very surprised
Speaker 1: with your gift. Are we doing at Christmas party? Christmas
Speaker 1: gift not Christmas? Are we doing at Christmas party? We're
Speaker 1: not doing one. Well, you have to check with His
Speaker 1: Majesty there in California to find out if we're allowed
Speaker 1: to have a Christmas party. Uh. Now, I think we'll
Speaker 1: take a break on that. We should do a we
Speaker 1: should do a bonfire. We could do a bonfire down
Speaker 1: in the beach. Yea to the four or five though
Speaker 1: I don't know. Steal Beach has some good spots. I
Speaker 1: like Seal Beach. My wife we used to go there
Speaker 1: a lot. Although there's a lot of oil around there,
Speaker 1: like oil on the beach. You know, there's weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's cool though. Seal Beach is a cool town
Speaker 1: in north North oh See. I like Sunset Beach. You
Speaker 1: ever spent time, I've never been pretty cool. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: always parking. There's a lot of the problem with the
Speaker 1: beach is hard to get parking and there's always a
Speaker 1: lot of parking there. And yes, right in a short
Speaker 1: walks pretty cool, interesting as far as the beach life goes.
Speaker 1: But ever since the clock changed and you know, the
Speaker 1: sun goes down for forty or whatever it is, I
Speaker 1: just haven't got I don't go to the beach. I
Speaker 1: love I used to. During the summer, we go to
Speaker 1: the beach all the time. We go to see the
Speaker 1: sunset or whatever. It's kind of chill out and recoup
Speaker 1: from the week. And but it's it goes down so
Speaker 1: early these days, and we just don't I mean I
Speaker 1: don't don't do it, do not do it. So anyway,
Speaker 1: it's just point that out. Somebody was saying we should
Speaker 1: do a zoom Christmas party, but I think that'd be
Speaker 1: just kind of dope. Yeah, I'd be like, because after
Speaker 1: like ten minutes, what are you gonna do? You know,
Speaker 1: it's like a quick ten minute hello, get the hell
Speaker 1: out of here type of situation. I'm not good with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you want the real thing, Yeah, to make it happen.
Speaker 1: Here's the deal. Hopefully by this, you know, maybe the
Speaker 1: summer of one you can have a big summer bash,
Speaker 1: the fourth of July bash. Now, if you if you
Speaker 1: have a Fourth of July bash at your place, will
Speaker 1: you require people to show you a vaccine CERTivity to
Speaker 1: enter your house? No? No, I will tell you though
Speaker 1: my the I have relatives, my in laws here, my
Speaker 1: my I don't know. How does it work if you
Speaker 1: just call them by their their title, their family title,
Speaker 1: like my wife's aunt, so then she's my aunt in law, Yeah,
Speaker 1: one of my aunt in laws or just aunt. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just call my aunt wonderful, my wife's
Speaker 1: aunt how about that my wife's my wife's aunt and
Speaker 1: her son actually just they announced that the COVID so
Speaker 1: they have it right now. So they're going through that
Speaker 1: and uh, yeah, now I don't have it. I'm good. Um,
Speaker 1: hopefully that I continue, but you never know. Now here's
Speaker 1: a question for you, and uh, I get to ask
Speaker 1: it because um, it was brought to my attention a
Speaker 1: couple of days ago. What happens if, let's just say,
Speaker 1: for argument's sake, your wife works in dispatch. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: what happens Let's say, for example, she has like she
Speaker 1: can't work remotely, she has to actually go into the
Speaker 1: dispatch center. What happens if she's if she comes in
Speaker 1: contact with someone that has COVID and she gets tested
Speaker 1: and doesn't have it, but then she comes in contact
Speaker 1: with you. Are you worried? Are you worried? You know?
Speaker 1: I'm not. Uh, maybe I should be, but I'm not
Speaker 1: really well. And they changed. I mean, she's pretty isolated there.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't allow the different branches of the
Speaker 1: department to mingle. Back in the day, everyone would mingle
Speaker 1: the police and the officers would come in and they'd
Speaker 1: all hang out, and you know, the commod camaraderie at
Speaker 1: a police station. But it's not quite the same right now.
Speaker 1: Now it's mostly via text, and you know, they have
Speaker 1: the different things they use. But I mean that's always
Speaker 1: a possibility. But as I go to the store all
Speaker 1: the time, and that's the thing from what I've read
Speaker 1: on the science on the COVID, it's like you can
Speaker 1: take every precaution in the world and still get it.
Speaker 1: So it's you know, it's just kind of it's it's
Speaker 1: a hit and miss situation. So I why worry about it,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean I don't want to get it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to give it to anybody, and all
Speaker 1: those things, But I'm not gonna sit here and obsess
Speaker 1: about it. If you get it, you get through it.
Speaker 1: And you know, plenty of people have gotten it, and
Speaker 1: many more people are gonna get it and and all that.
Speaker 1: I know, you'll be first in line to get that vaccine, David,
Speaker 1: You're the first in line to get that vaccine. We
Speaker 1: were talking about this the other day. William Shakespeare got
Speaker 1: it overseas. Oh yeah, what's the politics? What's the politics
Speaker 1: behind who gets to get Like I saw that ninety
Speaker 1: year old woman in Britain was like the first one
Speaker 1: to get it, and they trumped her out and look
Speaker 1: at those like who makes that call? Like it's gotta
Speaker 1: be some blue ribbon panel. It's like, all right, we're
Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna take a ninety year old British woman
Speaker 1: and she will be the first one that gets to
Speaker 1: have and we're gonna have the media there for a
Speaker 1: photo ops so everyone can see it and we here
Speaker 1: it is. It's like breaking new ground right where you
Speaker 1: cut the ribbon in front of the building. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like they have those giant oversized scissors and the
Speaker 1: big ribbon and they cut the ribbon. What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Are you going? You have to go elderly first and
Speaker 1: then autoimmune second, right, yeah, well elderly who are obviously
Speaker 1: still going around and all that. And then you know
Speaker 1: the people that have pre existing conditions that they have
Speaker 1: because they actually now have they have evidence of what
Speaker 1: conditions really lead to major problems. So those are the
Speaker 1: people that need to be at the front of the line.
Speaker 1: And and also the people that work in hospitals and
Speaker 1: you know if they if they are so inclined to
Speaker 1: take it, and the people that are frontline workers that
Speaker 1: are out there putting themselves and people that work at
Speaker 1: grocery stores, for God's sakes, that are out around the
Speaker 1: unwashed public should be the ones that get that before
Speaker 1: the red to us losers. And it's true. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: So let we got we got a little time. Let's
Speaker 1: get the pop quiz here. We gotta go go to
Speaker 1: pop quiz guest scouts. So these are actual fun facts
Speaker 1: that I will phrase as a question to you, and
Speaker 1: you the listener can attempt to answer them as well,
Speaker 1: and we'll have some fun. We'll have some frivality. Is good,
Speaker 1: all right. A new survey of two thousand adults, they
Speaker 1: were asked to name the top things they're looking forward
Speaker 1: to for the holidays this year. This was the number answer.
Speaker 1: This is tricky. Um, I'm gonna say not having to
Speaker 1: buy presents. So not buying presents. No. The number one
Speaker 1: thing people were looking forward to for the holidays was
Speaker 1: quote going nowhere, staying home and not traveling. Hey, I
Speaker 1: was kind of in the same area. Could you said gifts?
Speaker 1: Gifts and travel are not the same thing? Sat job
Speaker 1: by you? All right? Only ten of men know how
Speaker 1: to fix this? What is it? Something you could have
Speaker 1: in your on your body right now. I was let's say,
Speaker 1: fix the tie. Oh yeah, you're not that far away.
Speaker 1: It's a button. Okay, I think I could fix a button.
Speaker 1: Do you think so? Yeah? The only thing about like
Speaker 1: my mom tried to teach me selling when I was little.
Speaker 1: She was very good at selling. But I don't know
Speaker 1: how do you when you I could sew the button in,
Speaker 1: but how do you get rid of the rest of
Speaker 1: the string that you just cut it out? Is that it?
Speaker 1: That's all you do? Wrap it underneath? Okay? That part
Speaker 1: I don't know the part of putting the string through
Speaker 1: the in the pin pin, threading the needle and all.
Speaker 1: I could do that, all right, for the average woman,
Speaker 1: and you know about women, guest, the average woman, this
Speaker 1: will occur about four times in her lifetime? Do boy,
Speaker 1: do do do? Do? Do? Do Do? Do? Do Do? Do the
Speaker 1: kinder gentler? I don't bad, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: want to swing a mess either, kinder gender. Uh no,
Speaker 1: it is a they will receive a terrible haircut. Okay,
Speaker 1: that only four times, that's what they say. How do
Speaker 1: they know that? By the way, you know, on average,
Speaker 1: what do they every woman? There's a million women. You
Speaker 1: know what they do pay a hefty price for haircuts.
Speaker 1: Oh that's true, man, they what a what a racket
Speaker 1: they have cutting women's hair. Man, guys were like a scam,
Speaker 1: were like bucks. Right, woman goes in there, a little cut,
Speaker 1: little coloring. Oh it's all. It's a day at the salon.
Speaker 1: Let's go to the salon. It's yeah, it's bad. It's
Speaker 1: actually good now that the it's one good thing that
Speaker 1: King Newsom has done. He shut the on the salons,
Speaker 1: saving money on that. I um, I dated a couple
Speaker 1: of stylists back in the day, and man, it made
Speaker 1: me feel not her, but it made me feel like
Speaker 1: high school again because the chatter boxes in a salon
Speaker 1: do you just hear everyone and their mother talking about
Speaker 1: and they just let it all fly. They just let
Speaker 1: everything about their personal life fly because they have that
Speaker 1: kind of intimacy with their stylists. There are no secrets.
Speaker 1: None is sucking unreal. Oh god, the legend, the trope
Speaker 1: for guys is at the barbershop. You know what goes
Speaker 1: on at the barbershop. But I always would try to
Speaker 1: get in there and not talk to the barber. I
Speaker 1: always I I purposely went to this angry old barber
Speaker 1: in l A when I lived in because he never
Speaker 1: wanted to talk. Come here, let me cut your hair.
Speaker 1: You know what kind of haircut you want, and that's it,
Speaker 1: and he wouldn't talk the whole time. I loved it.
Speaker 1: And then you have the other kind of barber that's
Speaker 1: asking you a million questions about your life. What do
Speaker 1: you do, you know who you're dating, what do you
Speaker 1: that whole thing, Like, oh my god, I've got to
Speaker 1: a couple of there's like a Floyd's barbershop down in
Speaker 1: like Torrance, Ferdando Her most of that area, and you
Speaker 1: get men and women in there that are that are barbers,
Speaker 1: and I gotta admit, like they have some amazing artwork
Speaker 1: on their bodies. Yeah, like these women are. I'm not
Speaker 1: a huge tat guy, but the women that have these tats,
Speaker 1: it's almost sleeve to sleeve or some of them on
Speaker 1: their backs or their legs. It's kind of attractive. So
Speaker 1: you you are into the tattooed lady, I'm not really
Speaker 1: a fan of it, but they make them look good. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up, because this actually relates
Speaker 1: to that. Almost twenty of people who have this particular tattoo.
Speaker 1: Wish they've never done it. What tattoo? Is it obviously
Speaker 1: a widespread tattoo or else? This wouldn't matter. My first
Speaker 1: guess was the name. But obviously you said a designed
Speaker 1: so it would be like, it's not a name of
Speaker 1: a person, either a dragon or a butterfly. You have
Speaker 1: gotten it right, guestcot, you got it right. A butterfly.
Speaker 1: Almost people whish they had not gotten. Yeah. I I've
Speaker 1: seen the ladies. When I was dating, I didd a
Speaker 1: few that had tattoos, a little butterfly, usually on the ankle,
Speaker 1: usually on the it was like the back of the
Speaker 1: you know, the wrist area, they'd have a little butterfly there.
Speaker 1: And the one I thought when I was in high school,
Speaker 1: the big tattoo that everyone was getting was that razor
Speaker 1: wire around the arm, little travel band. Yeah, yeah, that
Speaker 1: was like the big thing. And now I see people
Speaker 1: my age with it and I'm like, oh, boys, yeah,
Speaker 1: looking so good anymore. You need an arm, you need
Speaker 1: some muscle hold that thing up. You gotta have some guns, man,
Speaker 1: you gotta have the guns. A recent survey says the
Speaker 1: average person complains three times per day, and this is
Speaker 1: the most common thing that they grumble about someone else's
Speaker 1: parking spots. Please, I will say, I will say weather. No, well,
Speaker 1: a lot of you here they don't complain about the
Speaker 1: weather's California. But it's bad customer service, like bad parking
Speaker 1: would be related to customer service. Or it's it's waiting
Speaker 1: at the store and you're not and you're not taking
Speaker 1: care of you quickly enough for you. You can't find something.
Speaker 1: There's no one to ask that kind of stuff. I've
Speaker 1: I've found it. When you're nice suits of the customer
Speaker 1: service reps, they actually go above and beyond what you
Speaker 1: wanted or needed. Is that right? Yeah? I actually learned
Speaker 1: that when I was a kid from Mary Poppins. Just
Speaker 1: a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. It's
Speaker 1: pretty good. She's thank you you liked Mary pop. She's hot,
Speaker 1: she had everything in that bag she did. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: tell my my wife's like Mary. I tell her she's
Speaker 1: like Mary Poppets because she's always got like this big
Speaker 1: bag with stuff, massive bag with stuff. She always carries around.
Speaker 1: All right, let's see who do we have. Women will
Speaker 1: wear this during the holidays, scarf slippers, I bet it's
Speaker 1: more than that. I bet it's higher than sales of
Speaker 1: this item spike around the holidays. What is sales of
Speaker 1: this lights? No, it's a high end item. Um diamond rings. Yeah,
Speaker 1: look at you, gascon diamonds. Diamonds. What are the great
Speaker 1: marketing campaigns of all time? You know the slogan diamonds
Speaker 1: are forever. Yes, diamonds are forever. What whoever came up
Speaker 1: with that, whatever ad agency in New York came up
Speaker 1: with that, they earned their money. James Bond movie pretty good,
Speaker 1: all right? According to a survey, this happens to the
Speaker 1: average person at nine forty in the morning. What is it?
Speaker 1: M hmm. They get a they're gonna call on a
Speaker 1: I don't know. They get a call from their boss. No,
Speaker 1: they are fully awake at nine forty the morning. I
Speaker 1: am fully asleep at nine forty in the morning. If
Speaker 1: I'm awake, there's a problem. Something has gone terribly wrong
Speaker 1: in my life. If I'm awake at ninety in the morning.
Speaker 1: So does that mean when if you work nine to five,
Speaker 1: you get up at seven, seven thirty, get in the
Speaker 1: car by eight, work at nine. Would that be right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be right. I'm a little puzzled though, because
Speaker 1: if that is the time that we're fully awake, why
Speaker 1: does school typically start at eight am? Just because it
Speaker 1: always has? No one wants to change. They should make
Speaker 1: they should have. But I think the reason it starts
Speaker 1: at eight a m. And so parents can drop the
Speaker 1: kids off before they go to work at nine, right,
Speaker 1: Isn't that why they did that? So it's all set
Speaker 1: up perfectly, drop the kid off at eight, drive to work,
Speaker 1: you're there at nine, work nine. The problems kids get
Speaker 1: out like three in the afternoon on a normal period
Speaker 1: of school, and so you're still at work. That's why
Speaker 1: they have the car pool situation. Seventy of the ladies
Speaker 1: say they do this more during the holidays than any
Speaker 1: other time of the year. Cook not clean, clean because
Speaker 1: you got the in laws coming over? Yeah, yeah, not
Speaker 1: now I guess you don't have to clean now, good luck?
Speaker 1: You know what? What what's the point of clean? And
Speaker 1: no one can come over? Seven pcent? There's a lot,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of heavy women. Woman edition of this
Speaker 1: edition of pop Quiz, eighty seven percent of women have
Speaker 1: at least one of these in their purse. What is
Speaker 1: it you said? You claim? You have an expert knowledge
Speaker 1: on women, So pepper spray. Yeah, uh no, an eyelash curler, Hell,
Speaker 1: isn't an eyelash curlers? I mean it's usually pretty good size.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I buy that. Seems like bulls
Speaker 1: bull crap to me. I alright, during the last ten
Speaker 1: months of the pandemic, curler is right, No, I don't know.
Speaker 1: They're like tongs like okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: yeah okay, now yeah okay. You can imagine carrying that
Speaker 1: ship around on your person. You can also, you know,
Speaker 1: pick roast a marshmallow. All right. Ten months now into
Speaker 1: the pandemic, six of people said they that this gave
Speaker 1: them an added sense of whole. What is it the
Speaker 1: end of the year? I guess now their pet? Uh fight? Oh.
Speaker 1: A new survey says thirty three of people now have
Speaker 1: at least one more of these than they did in
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. What is it? Significant? Others now it is
Speaker 1: also a pet? Like, yeah, let's get another dog, got
Speaker 1: a cat, Let's get another cat, got a squirrel, Let's
Speaker 1: get another squirrel in here? You know? Why not? Alright?
Speaker 1: Last one? A new report claims the average person will
Speaker 1: walk four miles each year while doing this activity. What
Speaker 1: is it four miles a year? Something that we all
Speaker 1: generally do, shopping? No, making the bed, making the bed
Speaker 1: four miles. Now, when I was in college, I never
Speaker 1: made the bed, And even when I was a bachelor,
Speaker 1: I didn't make I'd make the bed like once maybe
Speaker 1: once a week, I would make the bed. But now
Speaker 1: I'm married, so I actually do like this is there's
Speaker 1: something kind of cool getting into a bed that's perfectly made.
Speaker 1: You know, if you feel feel like you're in a
Speaker 1: hotel or something, especially because the pillows are typically nice
Speaker 1: and cool and comfortable. That's that's my favorite feeling. Whenever
Speaker 1: I I check into a hotel, I'll strip the bed
Speaker 1: down and make sure that the sheets are there. But
Speaker 1: the pillows they have to be nice and and and
Speaker 1: set and ready. And then if they're nice and cool,
Speaker 1: it makes the makes the sleeping experience that much better.
Speaker 1: The cool side of a pillow as cool as the
Speaker 1: old Steward Scott line, and he rested in piece, as
Speaker 1: cool as the other side of the pillow's right there.
Speaker 1: All right, that's it. Guess gon, we're done, We're out here.
Speaker 1: We get the Sunday Mailbag podcast to look forward to.
Speaker 1: Cannot wait for that, some really good questions the Mallard
Speaker 1: militia coming through on the Facebook page age and also
Speaker 1: via the emails who were fired up for that? And
Speaker 1: uh and remember if you have not seen Benny Versus
Speaker 1: the Penny, it was recorded on Friday at five o'clock
Speaker 1: in the East, two o'clock in the west. But we
Speaker 1: have now a rebroadcast available on YouTube. You can check
Speaker 1: that out and we'll be back again tomorrow. Have a
Speaker 1: great day. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Speaker 1: Ben Miller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm
Speaker 1: Pacific