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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: I demanded my wife to work again so I can

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Speaker 2: help my family financially.

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Speaker 3: Work woman, so my.

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Speaker 2: Brother became our brother's primary caregiver after our dad passed.

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Speaker 2: He has given six years of his life caring for

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Speaker 2: our mom.

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Speaker 4: My hands were tied.

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Speaker 2: I offer support in terms of money when I could,

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Speaker 2: but our dad passed shortly after we had our second child,

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Speaker 2: so our hands were full. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from Super Resolution thirty two fourteen, and if you want

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Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and I'm

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Speaker 2: key On and Op says, now that our kids are

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Speaker 2: in school, I want to pay for additional support so

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Speaker 2: my brother can go back to school. He always had

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Speaker 2: great potential, but he also hates to see people suffer.

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Speaker 2: He deeply care about them. He also greatly appreciated that

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Speaker 2: they did not give up on him. When things got tough.

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Speaker 2: My brother is on the spectrum and he was a

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Speaker 2: handful grown up. I think to a degree, he blames

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Speaker 2: himself for our parents' financial situation. He always said Mom

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Speaker 2: and Dad would have been better off putting him in

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Speaker 2: a group home or shipping him off somewhere.

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Speaker 5: Oh oh, man, Dad.

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Speaker 2: I have told him a thousand times not to think

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Speaker 2: that way, but he cannot help it. We were playing

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Speaker 2: a World of Warcraft and I asked him what his

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Speaker 2: plans for the future are. He wants to go back

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Speaker 2: to school and get his degree. He was nearly done,

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Speaker 2: but dropped out to take care of our mom. So

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Speaker 2: I asked him if we paid for someone to watch mom,

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Speaker 2: could he go.

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Speaker 4: Back to school.

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Speaker 2: He said yeah, but it has to be someone in

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Speaker 2: the home. He refuses to place her in a nursing

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Speaker 2: home until it is deemed medically necessary by her doctors,

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Speaker 2: so that is a non starter. I mentioned this to

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Speaker 2: my wife, and while she's sympathetic, she feels our focus

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Speaker 2: needs to be on our family first and foremost. We

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Speaker 2: kind of had a little spat over this because I

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Speaker 2: don't think my wife understands that my little brother took

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Speaker 2: on a huge responsibility he did not need to and

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Speaker 2: took a huge responsibility off our hands. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: to say, oh, we should focus on our family, Like, yes,

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Speaker 2: your immediate family unit is a priority.

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Speaker 4: But also this is his mom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah to say, like, oh, we can't focus a little

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Speaker 2: bit on finding my mom someone to care for her

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Speaker 2: and unfortunately cannot afford to pay for the additional support

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Speaker 2: required for him properly.

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Speaker 4: To go back to school.

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Speaker 2: Yes, our mother has some services, but they are far

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Speaker 2: from enough, and with the projected cuts in the future,

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Speaker 2: those services are likely to be reduced. I want my

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Speaker 2: brother to have something when the time does come for

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Speaker 2: our mom to be placed or passed away. My wife

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Speaker 2: is accusing me of putting her in the kids second,

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Speaker 2: and it is insulting that I ask her to work

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Speaker 2: so I can provide less for our family.

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Speaker 5: Oh.

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Speaker 3: Man, if my.

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Speaker 2: Partner refuse to get a job to help me care

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Speaker 2: for my mother, I would think very differently of them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, this doesn't seem like he's going to be doing

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Speaker 5: this forever.

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Speaker 2: No, No, it seems like, oh, he already said that,

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Speaker 2: Like until the time comes where we need to put

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Speaker 2: her in a home or she passes away.

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Speaker 4: But this is a temporary thing.

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Speaker 5: Mm hm.

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Speaker 4: He's asking for a little bit of help from his

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Speaker 4: partner and she refuses to give that to him.

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Speaker 5: This is a season where this wife does need to work,

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Speaker 5: and I don't know if if your partner cannot stand

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Speaker 5: the difference in weather, I don't think they should be

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Speaker 5: around for all the seasons.

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Speaker 4: Greed.

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Speaker 2: My brother is my family. Also, I cannot move our

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Speaker 2: mother in with us since all our services are tied

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Speaker 2: to the state she lives in, and my wife refuses

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Speaker 2: to share a home with someone that has dementia. So

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Speaker 2: am I the a hole here? I will say, having

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Speaker 2: a family member who has dementia, it's really really hard

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Speaker 2: to live, like, especially when they are taken out of

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Speaker 2: like a familiar space.

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Speaker 6: It's so like this was like recently.

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Speaker 4: A thing, but it's so hard.

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Speaker 2: So I don't want to like say she's an ale

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Speaker 2: for not wanting to take the mother in, but the

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Speaker 2: fact that she won't get a job to help is why. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I know my brother is not directly asked for help

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Speaker 2: because he knows how my wife is and does acknowledge

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Speaker 2: this was his choice and he has to live with

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Speaker 2: the consequences. And there is a comment or there are

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Speaker 2: multiple comments. Actually, Comment one says, is the issue that

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Speaker 2: your wife doesn't want to work? Or is that she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to work for the sole purposes supporting your

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Speaker 2: mother and brother? There is a key difference. Comment two

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Speaker 2: says professional caregiver here, I've always worked in private homes

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Speaker 2: and have had several clients with dementia. Your brother is

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Speaker 2: such a good guy. Most families don't want to deal

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Speaker 2: with their parents when they have dementia. The thing is,

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Speaker 2: your mom could live a long time with this disease.

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Speaker 2: How long can he put his life on hold? Caregivers

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Speaker 2: are not cheap. Your wife would basically be working to

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Speaker 2: provide a caregiver for your mom, and if she won't

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Speaker 2: have your mom in the home or move to help,

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Speaker 2: then you're stuck. And there is an update.

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Speaker 4: But just like, why doesn't she want to get a job?

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Speaker 4: Why is she so against it?

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Speaker 5: I don't understand why someone would not want to give

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Speaker 5: up their comfortability for a little bit so they can

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Speaker 5: ease the hardships of others.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, he's not saying I want you to get a

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Speaker 2: job forever because we need more of this, or like

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Speaker 2: it's not just for no reason. He's not just forcing

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Speaker 2: you to get a job because he's trying to control you.

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Speaker 2: He's saying, hey, I'm coming to you as your partner. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: my mother is not doing well. I need a little

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Speaker 2: bit of help.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's refusing.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really really rough updates.

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Speaker 2: Appreciate the feedback. I got many helpful messages and dms

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Speaker 2: that have helped me come up with a game plan.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how it will go, but this is

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Speaker 2: my game plan and I will tell my wife about

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Speaker 2: it on the weekend when the kids are with their grandparents.

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Speaker 2: I will make it clear that I'm going to take

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Speaker 2: care of my mother. That is going to happen. I

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Speaker 2: will take probably about a year, but thanks to the

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Speaker 2: resources many sent, I'm going to look to move my

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Speaker 2: mother here to Pennsylvania and get her medicaid and services here.

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Speaker 5: Or personal assistance.

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Speaker 6: I don't know what that one.

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Speaker 2: Someone provided me with a means to get services transferred

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Speaker 2: from state to state to prevent lapses in coverage.

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Speaker 4: I have my Plan A and Plan B.

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Speaker 5: Oh no, I know what B is.

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Speaker 3: Oh, get rid of the wife and kids?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, divorce. Plan A.

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Speaker 2: My mother is moved here without a hitch. She gets

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Speaker 2: the same thirty five hours a week and my boss

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Speaker 2: allows me to shift my schedule where I can work

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Speaker 2: from home outside major events. In case of those major events,

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Speaker 2: I will ask my in laws if they would be

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Speaker 2: willing to watch our kids if need be. If not,

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Speaker 2: As stated, aftercare closes at seven pm and is free

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Speaker 2: for young children, so one of us would have to

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Speaker 2: pick them up if my boss allows me to shift

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Speaker 2: to that schedule.

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Speaker 4: This frees up income that my.

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Speaker 2: Brother did not have access to because rent would not

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Speaker 2: be expensive. Not sure why people thought she had a house.

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Speaker 4: She does not.

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Speaker 2: She rents, with everything else like food and stuff being

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Speaker 2: covered by the family budget. I could use a small

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Speaker 2: portion of her income to pay for a social day program.

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Speaker 2: Average price per day is eighty dollars. That, in theory,

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Speaker 2: with the thirty five hours, gives her a total of

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Speaker 2: twelve hours of coverage. I will handle the rest myself,

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Speaker 2: just like my brother as he has been doing.

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Speaker 4: More.

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Speaker 2: I will start to look for prices to add a

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Speaker 2: separate entrance for our since we have a finished basement

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Speaker 2: which has served as a temporary guest area but can

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Speaker 2: easily be converted to a private apartment area. I think

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Speaker 2: she has dementia, not like she needs a kitchen. She

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Speaker 2: will eat with us, but has plenty of space for

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Speaker 2: things like a refrigerator and stuff. This will also allow

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Speaker 2: our kids to have supervised interaction with our mom while

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Speaker 2: not allowing her free reign of the house. To ease

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Speaker 2: my wife's fears, it also gives me the benefit to

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Speaker 2: spend time with my mom. So that's the first plan okay,

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Speaker 2: but involves the mom moving in with them, it seems,

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Speaker 2: which the wife was super against.

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Speaker 3: I also also have a plan B.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I also would say that would be really tough

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Speaker 2: to move her to a different location. Like again, moving

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Speaker 2: dementia patients is really really hard because they don't recognize

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Speaker 2: their surroundings and they don't have that kind of comfortability.

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Speaker 5: It's that plus the brother has been doing a lot

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Speaker 5: of work right now. Yes, yeah, uh, it's not a

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Speaker 5: fun situation.

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Speaker 4: Plan B. This is more involved and more pricey.

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Speaker 2: So say my boss does not let me switch, then

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Speaker 2: I tell my wife next year I'm quitting my job,

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Speaker 2: but she is a year before I max out my

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Speaker 2: vacation days and use FMLA. Not sure if this event qualifies,

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Speaker 2: I will touch base with HR on that so best

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Speaker 2: case she has a year and change to find a job,

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Speaker 2: and we do what is necessary to have our needs

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Speaker 2: met through her earned income. In this plan, my mom

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Speaker 2: would not be living with us. I would use her

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Speaker 2: income to find her an apartment nearby, which unfortunately does

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Speaker 2: not allow for additional services like adult daycare. But since

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Speaker 2: I'm not working and the kids are in school, and

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Speaker 2: if she gets the same thirty five hours, I could

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Speaker 2: spend the time the kids are in school, and then

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Speaker 2: thirty five hours could be used to handle the evenings. Now,

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Speaker 2: after she's settled here, I will explore care home options,

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Speaker 2: but I'm hoping when that time does come, my brother

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Speaker 2: is done with school and I still have a job

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Speaker 2: if we go with Plan A, or can get another

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Speaker 2: job if we end up with Plan B.

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Speaker 5: So you may need to think of plans. See where

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Speaker 5: your wife is not with either of those, and you

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Speaker 5: have to pivot on that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just get rid of our fancy wife moves out,

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Speaker 2: so brother takes care of kids, I take care of mom,

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Speaker 2: and brother goes to school with the kids. They all

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Speaker 2: go to Yeah, we get the kids into like college. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we fast track them, skip a couple of grades.

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Speaker 4: Everyone goes to college.

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Speaker 5: Three day elementary two day college. Yeah, so it's a

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Speaker 5: little bit of a split.

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Speaker 4: Mmmmmmmmmm refresh I think.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, dude, I need a refresher on how to

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Speaker 5: read sentences.

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Speaker 4: I need to refresh on like math, Yeah, how.

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Speaker 5: To do math quick?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed, we can split the cost to put her

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Speaker 2: in a good place. I have been reading caregiver forums

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Speaker 2: and it seems good is highly subjective. It appears to

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Speaker 2: be a very lengthy process. Also, plan z. I hope

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Speaker 2: it does not come to this and we divorce over this.

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Speaker 2: I love my wife, but if she really pushes back

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Speaker 2: on me helping my mom in either of these cases,

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Speaker 2: then clearly we are no longer compatible.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: That being said, if we do end up divorced over this,

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Speaker 2: I hope he can be compatible co parents. That is

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Speaker 2: my game play. It's a throwaway account, so I doubt

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Speaker 2: I'll update further. What but I wanted to give a

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Speaker 2: brief update as to what my plans are going. I

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Speaker 2: hope she agrees, because not helping is not an option

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Speaker 2: for me. Very fair, it's your mom. I hope she

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Speaker 2: understands that.

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Speaker 5: I like these plans. Yeah, me too, very thought out,

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Speaker 5: no critiques that much.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, talk to your wife, see if you can get

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Speaker 2: her on the same page. Ask why she's so against working.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and she can find fun jobs. Yeah, they're here to.

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Speaker 4: Find a job, dude.

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Speaker 2: In the case of Plan B, for those wondering, she

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Speaker 2: is still fairly capable, as her doctor likes to put it, physically,

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Speaker 2: she's in perfect health fer age. She's on an IVY

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Speaker 2: treatment for dementia. We don't know if it does anything,

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Speaker 2: but she does tolerate it well. She can dress and

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Speaker 2: feed herself, saying with toileting, she is capable of going

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Speaker 2: on her own. Sometimes she needs reminding to wipe, or

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Speaker 2: at night may have an accident because she forgets and

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Speaker 2: does not make it in time. Yeah, that's why it's

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Speaker 2: so hard, like caring for and living with the dimentibation,

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Speaker 2: because there's so many things that just they for Eating

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Speaker 2: can be a battle because all she wants to eat

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Speaker 2: is Chinese food and fried chicken.

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Speaker 4: But my brother gets her to eat.

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Speaker 2: It just takes a long time. She's a lot like

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Speaker 2: how kids are. But otherwise she's one of the most

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Speaker 2: loving people you will meet. As her doctors like to

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Speaker 2: put it, she's presently demented. I hope since she still

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Speaker 2: remembers my kids and sees them often via FaceTime. That

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Speaker 2: once in person it helps with the transition. That is

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Speaker 2: really good that she remembers them. Yeah, overall, it is

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Speaker 2: time for my brother to have a life and identity

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Speaker 2: besides being a young adult caregiver. I hope my wife

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Speaker 2: does understand this. And that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 5: My wife got off birth control and this side effects

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Speaker 5: are ruining our marriage.

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Speaker 6: Road Maybe birth controls not the best.

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Speaker 5: My male thirty five wife female thirty two got off

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Speaker 5: hormonal birth control a year ago and her personality underwent

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Speaker 5: significant changes. At first, it was awesome and our relationship

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Speaker 5: was better than ever. Then things got complicated. She said

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Speaker 5: that she is now I'm sure of our relationship. That

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Speaker 5: she finds herself attracted to many other men and finds

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Speaker 5: herself annoyed with me. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 5: throwaway BC questions and if you want us to my

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Speaker 5: own stories, go to the your slide show okay stories, I'm

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Speaker 5: sub Reddit, I'm Riley, and I'm Angie, and I'm Keon Hope,

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Speaker 5: he says. About nine months later, she said she was

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Speaker 5: second guessing children and we agreed to take some time

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Speaker 5: to re evaluate that decision. In the last month or so,

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Speaker 5: things got worse. She started being annoyed with me more

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Speaker 5: frequently and generally not wanting to spend time with me.

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Speaker 5: We are both scared about the new, uncertain future. I'm

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Speaker 5: hoping to see if anyone else here has experienced similar

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Speaker 5: changes in feeling after stopping birth control and what we

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Speaker 5: might expect moving forward. My wife and I are in

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Speaker 5: a mid thirties. We have been together for eight years

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Speaker 5: and married for five. A year ago, my wife stopped

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Speaker 5: taking her hormonal birth control after being on it for

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Speaker 5: fifteen years in order to start for having kids. Almost immediately,

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Speaker 5: her personality started changing. She was more vibrant, more excited,

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Speaker 5: was having more fun. We had a big discussion where

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Speaker 5: she told me there was a part of her that

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Speaker 5: wants to end our marriage, that she is inexplainably annoyed

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Speaker 5: with me frequently, is finding herself strongly attracted to other men,

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Speaker 5: and feels like a different person. We are both obviously scared.

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Speaker 5: She's been seeing a therapist and I've signed up to

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Speaker 5: see a therapist as soon as possible, as well as

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Speaker 5: trying to get on the schedule for a couple's therapy

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Speaker 5: She's also trying to figure out what kind of doctor

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Speaker 5: she would speak to about the changes in her brain

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Speaker 5: chemistry and what to expect moving forward. The reason I'm

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Speaker 5: posting this is to ask if anyone else has experienced

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Speaker 5: this similar thing before, and if you have any insight

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Speaker 5: as to what we can expect moving forward. We got

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Speaker 5: some comments through. This is a juicy one. I love

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Speaker 5: talking about women's hormones and how over dramatic they are.

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Speaker 5: They're the best.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, how over dramatic they are.

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Speaker 5: M hm, we got comment at one here. Yeah, this

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Speaker 5: is something I keep hearing about. So she was on

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Speaker 5: birth control when you met her, dated her, and got married. Right,

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Speaker 5: So the hormones she was on when she became attracted

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Speaker 5: to you, she is no longer her on. Now her

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Speaker 5: own hormones are, in a sense logging on, and this

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Speaker 5: is where the problem begins. The best analogy I can

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Speaker 5: say is, for fifteen years, the hormones let her feel

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Speaker 5: like she loved mint ice cream, and now the hormones

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Speaker 5: are gone. She doesn't know how she feels about mint

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Speaker 5: ice cream. She might like chocolate now or caramel.

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Speaker 6: M just talking about ice cream flavors, right, yeah.

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Speaker 5: Or vanilla bean. There are a lot of women reporting

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Speaker 5: no longer being attracted through those significant others once they

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Speaker 5: are off birth control. I know someone who was on

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Speaker 5: birth controlled married a man, and when they got off

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Speaker 5: of it for a baby, she then realized her type

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Speaker 5: of men was one hundred percent different than the man

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Speaker 5: she married. They worked through it, and once her own

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Speaker 5: hormones leveled out a bit, she fell back in love

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Speaker 5: with her husband. But this is a side effect of

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Speaker 5: this medication that no one knew about, And I wonder

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Speaker 5: how many more women go through this and don't realize

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Speaker 5: it is due to the hormone change. As a doctor,

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Speaker 5: I agree with this message.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, birth control really messes with you and

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Speaker 7: obviously has different effects on other pe on different strengths,

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Speaker 7: I guess.

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Speaker 6: And with these changes.

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Speaker 7: But yeah, I mean that makes sense if, like, you know,

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Speaker 7: if things might get messed up just for a little bit,

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Speaker 7: because the change in hormones is pretty crazy.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, hopefully if she's.

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Speaker 7: Off of it right now, they kind of, I don't know,

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Speaker 7: let the hormone settle. Hopefully she does, like fall back

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Speaker 7: in love with him the way that she used to.

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Speaker 7: She didn't say that she's like not in love with him,

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Speaker 7: but you know what I mean, like the same attraction update.

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Speaker 5: During this time, I'd noticed my wife being on her

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Speaker 5: phone nearly constantly, like ten hours a day. This is

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Speaker 5: not a good update. We need to know what app

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Speaker 5: she's on.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess that would be important.

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Speaker 5: I know this is normally a red flag for cheating,

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Speaker 5: but she has a low level of phone regular use.

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Speaker 5: Our entire relationship to it wasn't entirely new, just a

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Speaker 5: new level. I could always see what she was doing,

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Speaker 5: and ninety percent of the time it was watching Instagram reels.

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Speaker 5: She started neglecting basically everything, her hobbies, her job, cleaning

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Speaker 5: up after herself. Oh no, Given that it was winter

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Speaker 5: and she has a history of mild seasonal depression, I

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Speaker 5: thought it was just depression up a notch. She started

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Speaker 5: taking Lexipro, which helped for a bit, but quickly stopped working. Eventually,

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Speaker 5: she called me and said she thought her Google account

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Speaker 5: was hacked and asked me to come home from work

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Speaker 5: and help her change all her account passwords. When I

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Speaker 5: came home, she asked me not to talk in case

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Speaker 5: they had access to her microphone, and asked that we

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Speaker 5: write out all communication until we got the passwords changed.

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Speaker 5: Thought this was weird, but I'm a bit paranoid about

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Speaker 5: digital security, so I went along with it. Though I

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Speaker 5: did text her sister to let her know that what

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Speaker 5: was happening and it might be a red flag. What

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Speaker 5: was really happening, from her perspective, was far more concerning.

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Speaker 5: She believed the guy she knew had been sending her

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Speaker 5: subliminal messages via various social media sources for months. As

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Speaker 5: an example, she believed certain Instagram rules that came from

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Speaker 5: her feed were messages from him. When I asked how

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Speaker 5: she thought he was influencing her feed, she said that

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Speaker 5: if he liked something on it, it would be more

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Speaker 5: likely to show up on her feed, which I do

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Speaker 5: agree with.

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Speaker 7: Well, sure, but I mean with all the people that

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Speaker 7: you follow, I feel like it's the percentage is kind

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Speaker 7: of rare unless you're sending him a lot of messages.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, agreat agreement, because I send interacting with him

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Speaker 5: a lot. I send you a lot of messages and

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Speaker 5: we go back and forth, and I get a lot

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Speaker 5: of fashion stuff on my stuff sometimes.

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00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, same, like when I'm scrolling, I'll see your

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Speaker 7: little picture at the bottom.

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Speaker 6: Saying that like you liked it. You know that happens

403
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Speaker 6: sometimes too.

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Speaker 5: Have you begainned a lot of recipes for food? Recently?

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Speaker 6: I've gotten some, but I usually just scroll past them.

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Speaker 5: That's me. So there were many other examples like this,

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00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:32,119
Speaker 5: some more absurd. Eventually, she started to believe that more

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Speaker 5: people were involved, including big meme Instagram accounts with hundreds

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Speaker 5: of thousands of followers. She eventually believed that her phone

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Speaker 5: had been hacked and they were monitoring everything she was doing.

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Speaker 5: This is called red bull Rana riythy'es. Chrizophrenia can be

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00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 5: door meant for years until you're in your thirties when

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Speaker 5: it's present itself, but that could be a possibility.

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Speaker 3: Also.

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Speaker 5: The way the algorithm works is if you like something,

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Speaker 5: it's like sending it to a bottomless cave that you

417
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Speaker 5: like something, and it's going to echo back things similar

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Speaker 5: to it.

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Speaker 3: Oh really mm hmm.

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Speaker 5: If you like one basketball meme, you're probably gonna get

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Speaker 5: three more cent to you scrolling.

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Speaker 6: I thought it was just reading my mind.

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Speaker 7: Wow.

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Speaker 5: Things came to a head when she believed she was

425
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Speaker 5: being actively threatened and hallucinated a threatening message in her

426
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 5: notes app. When that happened, she came to me and

427
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 5: told everything that she thought was going on. When my

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Speaker 5: wife came to me with what she thought was happening,

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Speaker 5: it was pretty obvious to me that something was seriously wrong.

430
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Speaker 5: I called a psychiatrist who confirmed what was happening was

431
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 5: textbook psychosis. Fortunately, my wife had kept an extremely detailed

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Speaker 5: journal of all the events that had happened, real or imagined,

433
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Speaker 5: and asked me to read through the entire thing. The

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Speaker 5: journal made very little sense, with almost streamlike logic in

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Speaker 5: many places. For example, page thirty two, my end saying

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Speaker 5: I wonder if Bob is involved. Then on page thirty

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Speaker 5: three it continues as it it's proven that Bob is involved,

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Speaker 5: as if things came true as soon as she thought.

439
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 5: Going through the journal together, page by page and on

440
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 5: twisting the laundic I was able to get her to

441
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 5: see that she was at least partially experiencing psychosis, but

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Speaker 5: she still believes some of the monitoring was real. Just

443
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Speaker 5: to note, we found out later that this was not

444
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Speaker 5: a good idea while the work in our case. Apparently,

445
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 5: it's just as likely for the person in psychosis to

446
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 5: experience more delusions that just accommodate the inconsistencies you point out. Dude,

447
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,679
Speaker 5: who knew we were going to get into the cheeks

448
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 5: of some psychosis here?

449
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I thought.

450
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 7: I mean it started off just being like, you know,

451
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 7: hormonal issues and stuff, and now it's just.

452
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 6: Like completely taking a left turn.

453
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 7: And I mean, I wonder if they mentioned to this

454
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,680
Speaker 7: doctor about her coming off birth control. I feel like

455
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,919
Speaker 7: that would be important to at least keep in mind.

456
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 7: It probably is still psychosist, but I.

457
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 6: Would you don't get that in mind here? Yeah, see

458
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 6: how that might be affecting it.

459
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 5: Yeah. I don't know if this is true or not,

460
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 5: but I recently also it's crazy that we gave women,

461
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,160
Speaker 5: you know, birth control and nerve for them. I also

462
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:05,120
Speaker 5: realized that the Quirity keyboard some dude nerved women because

463
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:06,879
Speaker 5: they were typing too fast, and then made the Quirity

464
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 5: so they wouldn't type as fast.

465
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 6: What do you mean Like some.

466
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 5: Dude of Trader Joe's was telling me this. I was like,

467
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 5: what did each like?

468
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 6: Because women were.

469
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 5: Type so like whenever the type arty was around, they

470
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 5: had a different combination of the keys. It wasn't alphabetical.

471
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 5: It was like, I don't know what it was. Yeah,

472
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 5: but the women were tapping so fast and breaking world records.

473
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,159
Speaker 5: They were like, we got to change this the quirity

474
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 5: so they can slow down. Oh my god, and we

475
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 5: do not use optimized keyboards and it is pissing me off.

476
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 5: We were able to get a psychiatric appointment almost the

477
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 5: next day with the friends out, but it took about

478
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 5: a month to rule out any physical or medical causes

479
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 5: of psychosis, to get diagnosed with delusional disorder and start

480
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 5: an anti psychotic medication. The psychiatrist slowly worked her up

481
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 5: on a therapeutic dose, and my wife has not experienced

482
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 5: any delusion episodes for several months now. My wife tried

483
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 5: to confront the other person several times. He obviously had

484
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 5: no idea what she was talking about, told her such

485
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 5: and asked her to leave him alone if you're familiar

486
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 5: with psychotic disorders. Though this had no effect on her.

487
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 5: He would tell her to leave him alone. Then she

488
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,640
Speaker 5: would see an Instagram rull she thought was a message

489
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 5: from him, and think, why is he sending me messages

490
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,239
Speaker 5: after telling me to leave him alone. My wife had

491
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 5: actually been in therapy the entire time and had told

492
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 5: her therapist most of what she had thought was going on.

493
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 5: She was incredibly frustrated that the therapist didn't pick up on

494
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 5: the psychosis symptoms. She had switched therapists. Things were extremely

495
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 5: rough the first month or so after everything came to light.

496
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 5: Neither of us slept well and she needed constant monitoring

497
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 5: as she had passive passing away wish. I used most

498
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 5: of my paid time off and she went on family

499
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 5: medical leave for a few months. Where things stand now,

500
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 5: our relationship has continues to recover. She's once again excited

501
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 5: to be with me, and all of the new annoyances

502
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 5: she felt are completely gone. She still has struggles with

503
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 5: her mental health, but obviously that has to be expected.

504
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 5: As she recovers. She mainly seen to be shaken by

505
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 5: the fact that all of that stuff that seemed so

506
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 5: real was fake and that she lost so much time

507
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 5: to it. She also struggles with feeling isolated because people

508
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 5: don't understand what it was like to go through psychosis

509
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 5: and recovery. M m oh my god.

510
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 6: It makes sense.

511
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's probably gonna be so incredibly confusing to you

512
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 7: and such like a unique experience. I mean, it seems

513
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,199
Speaker 7: like it might be embarrassing to talk about too, Like

514
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 7: I just thought this was happening.

515
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 6: And it completely was not.

516
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, but it's like it's a it's a disorder,

517
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 7: it's a mental health problem.

518
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 6: So yeah, that's hard.

519
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 5: In terms of one of the main problems from my

520
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 5: original post where she said she didn't think she wants

521
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 5: kids anymore, after a few months she came to me

522
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 5: and said that she does want to try for kids again.

523
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 5: We have a little bit more to go here. Any

524
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 5: other thoughts, Keon, have you ever seen anything like this before?

525
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 8: No, nothing like this. I kind of had an experience

526
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,199
Speaker 8: with my mom when she had like fibermiologia and like

527
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 8: going through like a big turn of events in her life.

528
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 8: Mm hmm, and she did, you know, get a little

529
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 8: bit more bipolar, but nothing like this.

530
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 5: Yeah.

531
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I was like, whoa.

532
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 8: One moment she's like, oh, what do you guys went

533
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 8: for dinner? And then the next moment be like it

534
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 8: would be really really intense of like no, I'm not

535
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 8: cooking dinner for any more for you guys, like all this,

536
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 8: and like it was very intense and the best thing

537
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 8: you can do is like you gotta understand, and like, yeah,

538
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 8: it's frustrating, but you can't get angry at them kind

539
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 8: of thing, right, you gotta be like try and be

540
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 8: in their shoes kind of it's really hard to and

541
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 8: even in the moment, like emotions are all high and

542
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 8: you're like, Jesus, this is ridiculous.

543
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 3: You'd be like, okay, yeah.

544
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's it's rough. So opions is with for

545
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 5: those curious about these specific conditions, this involved aerotomania and

546
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 5: percusatory delusion.

547
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 6: For Secretary, I guess yeah, thank you.

548
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 5: Having now looked into these conditions, it's eerie seeing how

549
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 5: similar other people's stories are, including the mains of communication

550
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 5: and the progress from hero to mania to presecutory delusion.

551
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 5: The patterns are remarkably consistent across different cases. What started

552
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 5: as concerns about hormonal birth control changes turned into something

553
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 5: none of us could have predicted. The lesson here is

554
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 5: that sudden personality changes, especially when combined with unusual beliefs

555
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 5: or behaviors, should be taken seriously and evaluated by mental

556
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 5: health professionals. Early intervention can make a significant difference in

557
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 5: both to severity and duration of these episodes. I like

558
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 5: the way that one ended.

559
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 7: I refuse to cancel my plans to aid my husband.

560
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 6: Now he's furious.

561
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 3: Well, I already made these plans. I'm sorry.

562
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 7: My husband, thirty four male, and I thirty four female,

563
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 7: have been together for twelve years, married for almost five

564
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 7: We have a four month old baby. I'm on my

565
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 7: last week of maternity leave before going back to work

566
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 7: next week.

567
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from a throw.

568
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 7: Away osis boom bah and if you want to make

569
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 7: your own stories, go to the our slash Okay story Time.

570
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 7: Supread it and I'm Angie, I'm Dakota, I'm Riley.

571
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 6: And Opie says.

572
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 7: My husband works as a certified athletic trainer for a

573
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 7: high school where he provides assessment and rehab for athletes

574
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 7: and treats athletic injuries. The school he works at is

575
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 7: around forty five minutes to an hour drive away from

576
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 7: where we live. My birthday was last week Happy Birthday,

577
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 7: and my siblings weren't able to celebrate with me due

578
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 7: to conflicts with their family. Since I have a young baby,

579
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 7: they offered to meet with me at a local restaurant

580
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 7: for a belated birthday brunch today. Today was the only

581
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 7: day in time to do it because my sister is

582
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 7: flying out to Florida tomorrow and starts work next week.

583
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 7: She also works in a school. Thirty minutes before I'm

584
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 7: to meet with my siblings, my husband calls and says

585
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 7: that he accidentally brought two left sneakers instead of a

586
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 7: full pair. He drives to work in his flip flops

587
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 7: and keeps a pair of sneakers in the car to

588
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 7: change in two. He asks me to bring him the

589
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 7: right sneaker of either pair because he cannot do his

590
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 7: job in flip flops. I tell him that I can

591
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 7: because I'm running out of the door on the way

592
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 7: to meet with my siblings for brunch. I also didn't

593
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 7: feel comfortable driving an hour there and back with our

594
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 7: baby in the car, but I would have done it

595
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 7: if I didn't have another commit My husband then gets

596
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 7: mad at me and says that he'll ask his mom

597
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 7: and hangs up. That's gotta be such a silly baby thing.

598
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 7: He then calls back and says his mom said okay

599
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 7: when he asked for help, and tells me that he's

600
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 7: disappointed with me that he can depend on his mom

601
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 7: but not his wife for help when he needs it.

602
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 7: His parents lived ten minutes away from us, so I

603
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 7: was instructed to leave his sneakers on the porch for

604
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 7: them to pick up and bring to him.

605
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,360
Speaker 6: I tell him I'm sorry.

606
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 7: He proceeds to tell me through texts that he feels

607
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 7: betrayed and that he shouldn't need to convince.

608
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 6: Me to help him.

609
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 7: I apologize again and tell him that I didn't think

610
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 7: it was that much of an emergency to cancel my

611
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 7: plans for He texts that it was an emergency and

612
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 7: I'm your a thing husband. It's good to know that

613
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 7: I got to call my mommy and dad for help

614
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 7: instead of relying on my wife.

615
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 3: Hey, buddy, rely on yourself to not grab two left shoes.

616
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, or just deal with the squish toes. It's not

617
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 6: that big of a Yeah.

618
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: Why are we wearing flip flops to work and we

619
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 3: change into our actual shoes?

620
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 4: Yeah?

621
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 3: Where are you working? I would only accept that as

622
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 3: reasonable if you worked in like the coal mine.

623
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 6: He don't want like col boots on.

624
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,880
Speaker 3: I want the last, the very last second I put

625
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 3: on my coal mining boots. I don't want to put

626
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 3: him on until I absolutely have to.

627
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is so uncalled for.

628
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 7: You don't have to call for your mommy and daddy

629
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 7: because you don't need help for this. I tell him, what,

630
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,959
Speaker 7: if I was working today, would you expect me to

631
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 7: just leave? But since I'm not working, my plans are

632
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 7: not important. I'm supposed to cancel my plans because you

633
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 7: forgot your sneakers.

634
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,920
Speaker 6: He tells me that my.

635
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 7: Point is stupid because if I was at work then

636
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 7: he would not have asked me. But since I wasn't

637
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 7: working and he needed help, he asked me. He says,

638
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 7: O f me right, So your point is stupid because

639
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 7: that's exactly right, that's what he's saying. She's like, oh,

640
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 7: so now that I'm not working, my plans aren't important.

641
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 7: He's like, that's a stupid point. Because you're not working,

642
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 7: your plans are not important.

643
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 6: That's literally what he just said.

644
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 3: That's crazy, crazy.

645
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 7: I tell him that that's not the attitude I had,

646
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 7: and I guess I didn't think it was that much

647
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 7: of an emergency because he had footwear. I told him

648
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 7: that I felt like I was in a bind. That

649
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 7: was the last thing I said. And now he's been

650
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 7: avoiding me since he got home. Am I the a hole?

651
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 7: Did I make the wrong call? Should I have canceled

652
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 7: my plans with my siblings? To bring my husband his

653
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 7: sneakers instead of his parents. And there are some comments,

654
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 7: but what do you think, Dakota?

655
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 3: Of course not. No, he solved the problem, and he

656
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 3: now he's somehow making the fact that he forgot how

657
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 3: shoes work. Yeah, your fault. Yeah, I mean it's like

658
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,479
Speaker 3: your barents had your back. Bro, Why are you You're oh,

659
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 3: I'm betrayed f me right, It's like, yeahy, you're getting

660
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 3: to that point.

661
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, there are some comments. Comment number one says, not

662
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 6: the a hole.

663
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 7: He's being ridiculous. He messed up, but you had plans.

664
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 7: You're not obligated to drop everything to fix his mistakes.

665
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 6: Op.

666
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 7: He says, yes, but now my husband thinks that he

667
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 7: can't depend on his wife whenever he's in a pinch.

668
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 7: Someone else responds, because it's easier to be mad at

669
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 7: you than to be angry with himself that he messed up.

670
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 6: Admitting you made a mistake.

671
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 7: And fixing the mistake yourself, not expecting your wife to

672
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 7: drop everything and solve your problems for you. Is it

673
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 7: part of being an adult. Unfortunately many people never learn this.

674
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 7: Blaming someone else just makes the mistake easier. No guilty feelings. Next,

675
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 7: gift giving holiday, I'd gift him an extra pair of

676
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 7: sneakers to leave in his car for Winnie forgets. Not

677
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 7: the a hole Comming Number two says, I would have

678
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 7: run out to a local store and bought another pair

679
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 7: of sneakers or whatever else I might have forgotten for

680
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 7: asking anyone to drive an hour to bring them to me.

681
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 7: Common Number three says, not the ale. He's an adult.

682
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 7: It's his responsibility to make sure he has what he

683
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 7: needs for work. Also, isn't it low key dangerous to

684
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 7: drive in flip flops? There is an update, but yeah,

685
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 7: technically I think it's like illegal orsm right or no,

686
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 7: that's barefoot?

687
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: Gayla said it was illegal in the UK in the chat.

688
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 5: Wow, I hate driving barefoot. It like really bothers my

689
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 5: senses sensory.

690
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know why anything it would want to

691
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:47,719
Speaker 3: do that.

692
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 6: Yeah.

693
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 3: I saw comments saying about bashing this guy for even asking.

694
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 3: I'm not bashing him for asking. I'm bashing him for

695
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 3: he asks. And she's like, oh I can't yeah, And

696
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,959
Speaker 3: then he's like, oh oh, then I guess I'm just

697
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 3: the scum of the earth. Then and my partner, I

698
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 3: can't depend on my partner ever again in my whole life.

699
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, exact.

700
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 3: I guess I'll have to ask my parents who immediately

701
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 3: helped me out and solved this problem that you were

702
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 3: not able to because you had plans and you were

703
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 3: out the door.

704
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 7: Yeah, and it's your fault that my parents had to

705
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,239
Speaker 7: help me with this, because Yeah, I like that. One

706
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 7: commenter said, it's like this is he expecting her to

707
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 7: solve all of his problems for him? Like what if

708
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 7: he's like, oh, shoot, I forgot to like make lunch

709
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 7: and I don't want to spend the money because we're

710
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 7: budgeting right now. Can you drive two hours round trip

711
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 7: to make me food or to bring me food?

712
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 6: It's like no, but we do have an update.

713
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 7: So I tried talking about it to my husband this morning.

714
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 7: I told him how even though it was an emergency

715
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 7: to him, I didn't want to cancel my plans because

716
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 7: my family couldn't reschedule.

717
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 6: He told me, you still don't get it.

718
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 7: He acknowledges that he effed up by not paying attention

719
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 7: to which sneakers he brought, but he and his family

720
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 7: always help each other out when they're in a bind,

721
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 7: and that a husband should be able to rely on

722
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 7: his wife to help and vice versa. If the roles

723
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 7: were reversed and he was at brunch with his close

724
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 7: friends while on paternity leave and I forgot my lunch,

725
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 7: he would bring it to my workplace because we're a team.

726
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 6: He says.

727
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 7: I told my siblings to push it back an hour

728
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 7: or two. He thinks that they'd understand. He also said

729
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 7: in my family has a history of canceling plans last

730
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 7: a minute, which they have, but it's usually due.

731
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 6: To sickness or family conflicts.

732
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 7: He also said that he couldn't just run out and

733
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 7: buy shoes nearby because he was on the clock. He

734
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 7: couldn't do his job in sandals because they're not efficient

735
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 7: for running onto a field to treat an injured student.

736
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 6: He needs to do his.

737
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 7: Job efficiently because he's doing it to support our family.

738
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 6: That's a stupid, stupid line.

739
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 7: He knows that he effed up by accidentally bringing two

740
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 7: left sneakers, but this was really the only instance he

741
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 7: did this and really needed my help.

742
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 6: I told him that I didn't.

743
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 7: Realize how serious the situation was and apologized again for

744
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 7: my lack of judgment, but he just told me to

745
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 7: f off. He thinks I'm not truly sorry one. I

746
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 7: think he should be done apologizing. Also, he told you

747
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 7: to f off. That should never be spoken in a marriage. Yeah,

748
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 7: if it's not this situation anyway.

749
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 3: I'm absurd craziness.

750
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 7: To everyone who has commented if he's jealous of our baby,

751
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 7: that's not it at all. He absolutely loves our baby,

752
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 7: and he's been doing his part as a father. He

753
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 7: helped me a lot after I gave birth, cooking meals,

754
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 7: picking up any prescriptions, et cetera. He also does his

755
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 7: fair share of baby duties, including feeding, bathing, and changing diapers.

756
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 7: When my friends asked if I wanted to get together

757
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 7: with them in NYC a month ago, my husband told

758
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 7: me to go have fun with my friends while he

759
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 7: takes care of our baby. Even despite what's happening now,

760
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 7: he's still attentive to our baby.

761
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 3: With everything that's been said, I think what I would

762
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 3: do is I'd be like, look, you need to tell

763
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 3: me whatever's going on that's making you act this way

764
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 3: at work, or whatever whatever's happening that's making you act

765
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 3: like this. You need tell me what's actually going on.

766
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 3: And if you ever speak to me that way again,

767
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,719
Speaker 3: I will leave with our child. Yeah, and we'll let

768
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 3: the courts decide who gets what. Mister oh, you go

769
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: to work to support our family, maybe you should, I

770
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 3: don't know, bring the right shoes. Maybe you should put

771
00:32:59,400 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 3: your shoes on.

772
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 4: Or just deal with it.

773
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 3: Just deal with it, yeah, Or.

774
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 7: If your parents' help, know that it's not because I'm

775
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 7: just not here to help you in an emergency. If

776
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 7: your life is on the line, I'll probably change my

777
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 7: plans for that. But if you got squish toes and

778
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 7: two left feet, I don't give a crap, all right,

779
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 7: I don't care. Yeah, there is a little bit more

780
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 7: to the story. Thank you to everyone who said I'm

781
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 7: not the a whole. However, I think I made the

782
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 7: wrong call here. I have a history of not asking

783
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 7: for help because I was always worried that I was

784
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 7: burdening others. But his family's philosophy is that we're here

785
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 7: for each other and then it's okay to ask for

786
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 7: help if needed. In this case, he needed my help

787
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 7: and I wasn't there for him. Overall, my husband is

788
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 7: a good husband and father. For my birthday, he did

789
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 7: what I wanted, which was take me to a museum

790
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 7: and then birthday drinks at a restaurant in New York City.

791
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 7: He's usually a very loving, supportive goofy and there to

792
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 7: come for me when I need it. He does have

793
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 7: his flaws, including anger issues, but he's always apologized for it.

794
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 7: Now I need to figure out how I can resolve

795
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 7: this situation. But there are some comments. I do not

796
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 7: like how he talks to you. I don't care if

797
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 7: he's a good dad, he's not a good husband right now,

798
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 7: telling you to f off and that you don't understand,

799
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 7: and being so unkind and cruel to you.

800
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 6: Yikes.

801
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 7: If you're a team he should be kind and treat

802
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 7: you like you're a teammate.

803
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 6: You are not a mind reader. Ugh, I am so sorry.

804
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 7: Someone responds, I was on his side until his reaction

805
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 7: and the f offs, et cetera.

806
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 6: That's absolutely not okay.

807
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,439
Speaker 7: OPI, yes, you should have helped him, but if this

808
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 7: is how he talks to you during this conflict, you

809
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 7: all need to sort that out asap. Comment number two says,

810
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,280
Speaker 7: can you uber a pair of shoes? Someone responds, yep,

811
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 7: there's another reply. But then who would he blame for

812
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 7: his forgetfulness? How would he have been able to tell

813
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 7: his wife to f off if.

814
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 6: He resolved his own issue.

815
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 7: Common number three says he might be a good father,

816
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 7: but he is a crab husband and that's the end

817
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 7: of that story.

818
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 1: Sam here og Hos, We're going to get back to

819
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 1: these stories, but here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

820
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 3: First, my brother called me selfish for meeting with my boyfriend.

821
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 7: You are not to be in the same room with

822
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 7: him alone until you are married.

823
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 3: I twenty nine female, own my townhouse and my twin brother,

824
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 3: twenty nine male, lives with me and pays rent. We

825
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 3: have two elderly dogs, our childhood dogs that live in

826
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 3: the home as well. I've been in a relationship with

827
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 3: my boyfriend twenty five male for ten months and he

828
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 3: lives a little over an hour away. By the way,

829
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 3: this comes from Chef Emotional nine zero eight, and if

830
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

831
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime suburn it. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie,

832
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 3: I'm Riley, and Opie says, We've been going to each

833
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 3: other's places every weekend. My boyfriend lives in an apartment

834
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 3: with roommates. One weekend I go to his place and

835
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 3: the next weekend he comes to mind, so that the

836
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 3: driving is fair. This is one of my longest and

837
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 3: most serious relationships. I really love him and see a

838
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 3: future with him. We've spoken about him moving in closer

839
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 3: to the end of the year. Okay, Up until a

840
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: few months ago, my brother had a girlfriend for about

841
00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 3: two yearst row Broski's biowski is just jelly that you

842
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 3: still have a boyfee. Uh oh. His boyfee has damost

843
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 3: uh oh. So she lived with her dad most of

844
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 3: that time, so he would not go to her house

845
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 3: to spend the night. She got an apartment. He slept

846
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 3: over once and then they broke up a few days later. Yes, oo,

847
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 3: she maybe slept over here at my house two times

848
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 3: in that whole period. He tells me that he believed

849
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 3: I see my boyfriend too much and that not every

850
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 3: weekend is going to work where we're able to see

851
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 3: each other. I understand if events come up or something,

852
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 3: but I think it's unfair that he's causing these things

853
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 3: for me to not see him. They only saw each

854
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 3: other maybe once a week for dinner, and that was it.

855
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,760
Speaker 3: She never slept over, he never went to her house,

856
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 3: and I believe that's the reason he thinks this way.

857
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 3: A few months into my relationship, my brothers were talking

858
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,359
Speaker 3: to me badly and I informed my boyfriend of this.

859
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 3: He came over like we planned, and then my brother

860
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 3: came into the living room where we were and started

861
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 3: talking to me about the conversation in which he and

862
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 3: our other brother were talking badly to me. My boyfriend

863
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: got upset for me because my brother was talking down

864
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 3: to me, and they almost got into a fish fight.

865
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 4: Wow.

866
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 3: A few weeks later, all was fine, they apologized and

867
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 3: it went back to normal. Our dogs are about sixteen

868
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 3: and twelve, so they are old. I pay for all

869
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 3: of their medicines, ve appointments. I scheduled the dog walker

870
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 3: when no one's home and pay the dog walker. I

871
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 3: keep a list of all these things so he can

872
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 3: pay me back his portion, usually half, but I'm the

873
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 3: one doing it all. I typically go to my boyfriend's

874
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 3: Friday night after work around seven thirty and stay until

875
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 3: Monday morning, where I'll go into the office or go

876
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 3: all the way home and work from home and be

877
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 3: home for my dogs. I have a very flexible work

878
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 3: from home slash in office job and make sure to

879
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 3: work from home as much as possible. So I can

880
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 3: spend time with my dogs, and also so we don't

881
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,760
Speaker 3: need a dog walker during the day. Meanwhile, my brother

882
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: is out of the house from seven to forty in

883
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 3: the morning to six pm to go to work. Now

884
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 3: here's the issue. My boyfriend and I have been alternating weekends,

885
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 3: but lately my brother believes I'm using him because I

886
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 3: have the ability to see my boyfriend during the entire

887
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 3: weekend because he will be home with the dogs.

888
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 6: You're using me to feed the dogs.

889
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 3: Oh, regardless of whatever anything that happens in the story,

890
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 3: this is just about your brother being jealous. You're still

891
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 3: in a relationship, clearly, Yeah, because yeah, guess what, Oh,

892
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 3: I'm actually not going to be here for the weekend.

893
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 3: What do we do when there's no one here to

894
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 3: walk the dogs? Yeah, we call the dog sitter. Yeah,

895
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 3: we call the dog walker.

896
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 6: You figure something out. It's not a big deal. Not

897
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 6: a big deal.

898
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,479
Speaker 3: So he's trying to be like, oh, you're just using

899
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 3: me to walk the dogs that are both of our dogs.

900
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

901
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, he's just trying to come up with any sort

902
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 7: of excuse or something to find some sort of issue

903
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 7: in their relationship.

904
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 6: And it's like, yeah, you're projecting whole bunch.

905
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 7: Dude, get over your own relationship before you start craping.

906
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 3: On my I'm allowed to have a relationship even though

907
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 3: you and your girlfriend broke up.

908
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 6: Yes, sorry, it's true.

909
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 3: Sorry. When I go to my boyfriend's I usually spend

910
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 3: three nights there. He says that it is not fair

911
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,879
Speaker 3: that he's alone with them and has to do all

912
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 3: the meals, med's, walks, et cetera. By himself, and that

913
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 3: the weekends my boyfriend comes to my house, there are

914
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 3: three people in the house and that all take care

915
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 3: of the dogs. My boyfriend has stayed with them, takes

916
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:33,399
Speaker 3: care of them, and he loves them as if they're

917
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 3: his own, and they love him. My brother says that

918
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 3: he's not getting the quote unquote freedom like I have.

919
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 3: When I go to my boyfriend's. He says that he

920
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,800
Speaker 3: always comes home from concerts, events, etc. For the dogs,

921
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 3: but he does not always sleep with them. We alternate

922
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 3: days where the dogs sleep in our rooms with us. Meanwhile,

923
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 3: I've never said he could not stay out anywhere anytime

924
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,839
Speaker 3: I have a concert or event, and I can stay

925
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 3: at my friends or boyfriend's places. I do because I

926
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 3: like to have a drink and do not want to drive.

927
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 3: I'm just very confused and upset on how to handle

928
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 3: this because it's starting to affect my relationship with my

929
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 3: boyfriend because his weekends are always cut short or do

930
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 3: not happen because my brother is like this. My brother says,

931
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 3: part of the reason is because he wants to spend

932
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 3: time with me. But my boyfriend does not usually stay

933
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 3: during weekdays because he works. But the day that it

934
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,399
Speaker 3: is just my brother and me in the home, he's

935
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 3: in the basement gaming or in his room, not actually

936
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 3: spending time with me. My mother is also on his side.

937
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 3: I went on a work trip in April and was

938
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 3: gone for three days. I was supposed to come home

939
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 3: for a day and then go to my boyfriends for

940
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 3: that weekend because I wanted to see him. My mother

941
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 3: called me because my brother called her and basically said

942
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 3: that I should not go to my boyfriend's because I

943
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 3: was just away for three days. Mind you, it was

944
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 3: a work trip and that I had elderly dogs to

945
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 3: think about. We have more story left, but I mean,

946
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 3: what are we making it out of this mountain? Out

947
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 3: of a Mohill situation.

948
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 7: It's just like so the parents are now getting on

949
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 7: her for being a boyfriends all the time.

950
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 6: Is that what's happening.

951
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 3: It's not all the time, it's every other weekend.

952
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah.

953
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 7: It just doesn't seem like that big of a deal. People,

954
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 7: It doesn't seem like that. But give a deal.

955
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,399
Speaker 6: How old does Op again?

956
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 3: It's twenty nine?

957
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh.

958
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,280
Speaker 3: Wait what the brother's acting like. It's like, you're supposed

959
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 3: to be here take care of me, yeah, and the dogs.

960
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 3: But then all throughout the week he's like, I want

961
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 3: to spend more time with you, and then when he

962
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 3: could be spending time with Op, yeah, he's not at

963
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 3: all right, Oh my gosh.

964
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 6: He's just a that's super annoying.

965
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 3: It's just a dude who's upset he doesn't have a

966
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,760
Speaker 3: girlfriend anymore. He's mad that his sister that he lives

967
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 3: with gets to still have her boyfriend.

968
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 7: It's like, no, I'm gonna go to my boyfriend's. My

969
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 7: boyfriend's gonna come here. We're gonna take care of the

970
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 7: dogs when we're here. Three people to take care of

971
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 7: the dogs isn't a problem.

972
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 3: That's great.

973
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 6: Now you get a weekend off, you don't have to

974
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 6: do anything. We'll take care of it.

975
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 3: Not to mention great comment from nh Dark on TikTok.

976
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 3: She owns the freaking house. Oh my god, and he

977
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 3: pays rent. So it's like, you don't really get to

978
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 3: say when I have my boyfriend over at the apartment

979
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 3: or when I go to my boyfriend's and it's like,

980
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 3: you can't take care of the dogs for three days.

981
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, you have literally of no saying this. That's so insane. Dude,

982
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 7: just jelly, He just jelly. Yeah, just Jelly's his peanut butter.

983
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 3: So let's finish this story. My brother also guilts me

984
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 3: with the dogs about you wouldn't know what to do

985
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 3: something happened to them while you were not here, and

986
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 3: that he always comes home because he's worried about something

987
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 3: happening to the dogs when he's not home. Now my

988
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 3: brother is saying that one weekend I go down to

989
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 3: my boyfriend's, one weekend he comes up to my house.

990
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 3: The third weekend, no one goes to either house, and

991
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 3: the fourth week I go down to see my boyfriend.

992
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 3: And the next month, that fourth week, my boyfriend comes

993
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 3: up to me. I'm very upset and confused on hand

994
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 3: to handle this. Any advice you tell him you don't

995
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 3: like the way I live, move out?

996
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:51,959
Speaker 6: Yeah, pull rank.

997
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 7: It's like, all right, well you gotta get out of

998
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 7: here then, Yeah, that's just like complicated.

999
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 6: Way to deal with it.

1000
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 7: It's just like there's no there's no reason to have

1001
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 7: that weekend off.

1002
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's absurd. Come my, number one, I can't believe

1003
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 3: I'm reading this girl. Your twin brother thinks he's your dad,

1004
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 3: or worse, he's jealous of you or jealous for your attention,

1005
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 3: and that you're fifteen years old enough said you should

1006
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 3: be proud of yourself. You work hard, have been responsible

1007
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: enough to own a home at twenty nine years old,

1008
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 3: caring enough to provide a home for your brother and

1009
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 3: your dogs, and pay for all the dogs care while

1010
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 3: all he has to do is watch them. You're also

1011
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 3: lucky enough to find a good man who's he's a

1012
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 3: future with you. Instead of feeling happy for you and

1013
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,399
Speaker 3: being proud of you, your brother is trying to pull

1014
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 3: you down. He has no right to be controlling what

1015
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 3: you do with your time, and he does not seem

1016
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 3: to have your best interest at heart. I'm sorry to

1017
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 3: say this. I'm not saying he's a bad person or

1018
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 3: malintentioned it may be just a temporary phase since he

1019
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 3: just broke up and he's feeling lonely and needs more

1020
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 3: of your attention. My advice if you want to have

1021
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 3: a long term, healthy relationship with your brother, you need

1022
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 3: to have a talk with him about what you want

1023
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 3: for your life, and he needs to help you prioritize them.

1024
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean you love him less. If I were you,

1025
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,959
Speaker 3: I'd try to egg him to buy a home good

1026
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 3: for his ego and financial foundation. Have him move out

1027
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 3: gently and tactfully. Do not discuss your love life with him,

1028
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 3: at least till he gets over his breakup. And please

1029
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 3: start adulting. You make your own schedules, call your own shots.

1030
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 3: It's your home. You have a bright future ahead. Don't

1031
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 3: throw it all away just to satisfy your brother's tantrums.

1032
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 3: Good luck, hope, he replies to that, thank you so

1033
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 3: very much for this. The reason he lives with me

1034
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 3: is because he's not financially responsible enough and also not

1035
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 3: responsible enough in general to buy a home. My mother

1036
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,359
Speaker 3: sold our childhood home a long time ago, and that's

1037
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 3: when I bought my house and basically said, your brother

1038
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 3: and the dogs are going to live with you. I

1039
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,240
Speaker 3: love my old ladies and would never surrender them or anything.

1040
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 3: My mom didn't want to have the dogs live with her.

1041
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 3: He has the money. We were left money when our

1042
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 3: grandfather passed away, and I used mine for the house,

1043
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 3: but he hasn't bought a house himself. Comment to he's

1044
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 3: got to go, and you've got to sh shut your

1045
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 3: mom down. I'm assuming these people are paying none of

1046
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 3: your portion of the bills, and you're grown, then your

1047
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 3: personal life is none of their business. Op He says, no,

1048
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 3: they actually pay no bills. I pay them. All his

1049
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,839
Speaker 3: rent goes towards the bills. I have one account where

1050
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 3: all of the bills come out of Comment three says,

1051
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,399
Speaker 3: I think a chat about the codependency is in order.

1052
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 3: We will have a special kind of attachment with a twin,

1053
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 3: but if that attachment isn't healthy, things can be done

1054
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 3: to fix it. I recommend listening to some podcasts or

1055
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 3: reading some books on attachments based in neurodevelopment. And that

1056
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,959
Speaker 3: is the end of that story. My husband said, I'll

1057
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 3: ruin Christmas because I refused to see his aunt.

1058
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 4: You've ruined Christmas.

1059
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 3: My husband's aunt hates me. When I was eighteen, I

1060
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 3: had schizophrenia and was going through a particularly difficult time mentally.

1061
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 3: I started slipping into a dissociative state that lasted until June.

1062
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 3: I didn't check myself into a mental hospital because my

1063
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 3: ability to communicate was starting to decline, and it became

1064
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 3: husband's decision as I I was not in my body,

1065
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 3: sometimes catatonic, and when I spoke it was full of

1066
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 3: word salad. By the way, this comes from user Gothic Misunderstood,

1067
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1068
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,240
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime sub bred it where

1069
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:14,760
Speaker 3: we got this story.

1070
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia.

1071
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 3: And I'm Keon, and Op says, I was still pushed

1072
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 3: to go see his family on Christmas Eve. I didn't

1073
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 3: want to be anywhere but in my bed, and I

1074
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 3: coped the only way I knew how. I had never

1075
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 3: dealt with something so devastating. I bought a bottle of

1076
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,439
Speaker 3: whiskey and two liter of Coca cola and drank a

1077
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 3: big cup and a half of each. I was wasted.

1078
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 4: Oh.

1079
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 3: I went directly to bed as we were spending the

1080
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 3: night at his aunt's and went to sleep. Dear husband's

1081
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 3: aunt was livid husband explained that in our state, it's

1082
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 3: legal to give your underage spouse booze if you are

1083
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 3: an of age spouse and buy it for them in

1084
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 3: a private setting. After this, I slipped into dissociation. I

1085
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 3: barely remember anything within those six months. I came back

1086
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 3: to me in June and got pregnant. In September. I

1087
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 3: gave birth to a baby girl the day after mother's death.

1088
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 3: Husband's aunt showed up un announced to come see the baby,

1089
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 3: and I was so embarrassed. I hadn't showered in days.

1090
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 3: I was leaking through my shirt and I was pretty

1091
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 3: sure I had spit up on my clothes and hair.

1092
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 3: She never spoke to me, never asked me if I

1093
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 3: was doing okay, or even congratulated me. I nearly passed

1094
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 3: away having the baby. I suffered from hyper emesis gravidorum,

1095
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 3: which caused me to need a full month full mouth extraction.

1096
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 2: And get that's really tough, very extreme.

1097
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 3: I had pupps. I was hypotensive and hypoglyposcemic, very anemic, malnourished,

1098
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,320
Speaker 3: and vitamin deficient. I dislocated my leg from my hip

1099
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 3: during labor. My safe food was apples, Apparently eating only

1100
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 3: apples every day can land you In the doctor's office,

1101
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 3: I decided this baby would be the only baby I

1102
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 3: ever had, and had my tubes tied. As my doctor

1103
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 3: told me, I would probably not make it if I

1104
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 3: went through it again.

1105
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 2: Absolutely, If I mean, if anyone went through that experience,

1106
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 2: that would Yeah, you would never.

1107
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 3: Want to go through that again, Yeah, agreed. Over time,

1108
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 3: I have tried to build a connection to his aunt.

1109
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 3: I try speaking to her about my daughter's achievements. Top

1110
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 3: three percent in her grade in the state according to

1111
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 3: state testing, a guaranteed spot in the choir, exempt from auditions.

1112
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:38,240
Speaker 3: Oh that's congratulations, she's gifted and talented. Almost got into mensa.

1113
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 3: She brushed it off and said, that's what she's puffed

1114
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 3: to do. How to deal with someone who's just a

1115
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:48,760
Speaker 3: spoilsport lame o, Yeah, who doesn't say anything positive.

1116
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,839
Speaker 2: Who's always negative, and I always have to say, Oh

1117
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 2: that sucks, Debbie Downer.

1118
00:48:52,480 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 3: Silly baby, your aunt, your husband's aunt. Silly baby. She says, well,

1119
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 3: that's what she's supposed to do. Silly baby. Silly baby

1120
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,319
Speaker 3: doesn't know how to say congratulations. Silly baby hasn't learned

1121
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 3: how to say that yet. Ah okay, and then it's like,

1122
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 3: oh my god, are we gonna let the thoughts and

1123
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 3: opinions and words of a silly baby silly the way

1124
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:21,240
Speaker 3: we feel so silly, that'd be crazy.

1125
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 4: I wouldn't let a baby tell me how to do

1126
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 4: my taxes. It's a baby.

1127
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 3: Aunt will complain about her knee pain. I have peripheral

1128
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 3: neuropathy and trigger menial neurologia on top of hypermobility. I

1129
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 3: often have trouble walking because of my knees and carry

1130
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 3: knee and ankle braces with me everywhere. I sometimes use

1131
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 3: a cane, so I try to join the conversation because hey,

1132
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 3: I can relate. She gives me a disgusted look on

1133
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 3: her face and says hmm okay, or I met with

1134
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,359
Speaker 3: passive aggressive silence. It's kind of spread to the rest

1135
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 3: of the family. I will try to join conversations and

1136
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 3: will get deer in headlight stairs the moment I speak.

1137
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 3: Then comes a dismissive okay, and they changed the conversation.

1138
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 3: I have become very self conscious of my speech pattern

1139
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 3: around them. Since I have schizophrenia, I suffer from disorganized thoughts,

1140
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 3: which is reflected in my speech. I have tried for

1141
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 3: the past nine years. Every year to connect. Every gathering,

1142
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 3: I become more and more focused on the words in

1143
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 3: the sentences I string together and their placement, all in

1144
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 3: an effort to try to successfully wear the disguise of

1145
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:33,760
Speaker 3: a neurotypical woman. The effort is futile. Your husband's aunt

1146
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: still refuses to speak to me. Husband and adoptive mother

1147
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 3: in law have repeatedly told his aunt that she needs

1148
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 3: to speak to me or else we won't be seeing

1149
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 3: her anymore, and convinced me to come to her house

1150
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 3: for Christmas Eve. I started driving my own car in

1151
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 3: case I wanted to leave, so I caved and I went.

1152
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 3: Last year, she spoke about me, not to me, though.

1153
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 3: I recently discovered that I have a talent for sewing.

1154
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 3: The Christmas after I started sewing in March, I designed

1155
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 3: and created a beautiful Christmas dress for my daughter. Light blue,

1156
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 3: sparkly toul triple circle skirt over a double circle skirt

1157
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 3: of white satin, with a top of blue snowflakes on

1158
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 3: a white background printed on a minky fabric and a

1159
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 3: rhinestone trim all around the waist with small rhinestone snowflakes

1160
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 3: hand sewn on the top it was my masterpiece.

1161
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 4: It sounds like it.

1162
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,280
Speaker 3: Sounds like a delightful.

1163
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 4: Sounds like everyone's gonna be happy garb.

1164
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 2: And they're gonna say, oh, that's beautiful and happy and

1165
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:38,240
Speaker 2: everything's perfect.

1166
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, right. Husband's aunt looked at my daughter, and my

1167
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 3: daughter did a spin and said, my mama made this

1168
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 3: all by herself, by hand. And husband's aunt says to

1169
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 3: adoptive mother in law, I didn't know, ohp he could sew,

1170
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 3: And adopted mother in law said, neither did we. While

1171
00:51:56,040 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 3: other family members gathered around me asking questions, husband's aunt

1172
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 3: had walked away and didn't acknowledge my existence. Again, I

1173
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: was upset, but I knew it would take time, you

1174
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 3: know what.

1175
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 2: I actually that she kind of did give you a

1176
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: compliment there, Yeah, she said, I didn't know you could sew.

1177
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 2: She could have been like, oh that that rag, you

1178
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 2: got a little burlop sack on.

1179
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 4: Anyone could make that?

1180
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 3: Right she did.

1181
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 4: She's like, I didn't know op could se.

1182
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 3: Then I had my daughter's birthday at my home. I

1183
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 3: was forced to invite husband's aunt out of courtesy. I

1184
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 3: sent invitations in early April. I made the invites myself

1185
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 3: with photoshop card stock and paint. I used teal envelopes

1186
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: with gold trim on them, so it wasn't easily mistaken

1187
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 3: for a bill or something. I'd asked to RSVP by

1188
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,840
Speaker 3: a specific date in late April. The Friday before her party,

1189
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 3: which was on a Sunday, husband's aunt calls mother in

1190
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:58,320
Speaker 3: law adoptive mother in law to RSVP. It felt disrespectful.

1191
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 3: Husband's aunt said she didn't open it until then, but

1192
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 3: whatever stuff happens. The night before the party, I pushed

1193
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:08,839
Speaker 3: my body to its limits trying to clean and make

1194
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 3: the house presentable. Several people were coming, and since my

1195
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 3: daughter was born after Mother's Day, her birthday sometimes falls

1196
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 3: on or near Mother's Day, so she has never had

1197
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 3: many people come to her party. Due to that, I

1198
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 3: was cleaning from six am to eleven pm. That is

1199
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 3: too long for anyone to be cleaning. Top My body

1200
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 3: was screaming. The next morning, my body felt like it

1201
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 3: was made of cement. I could hardly move, But it

1202
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 3: was five thirty in the morning and me and my

1203
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 3: husband got up and put up the tent outside, decorated,

1204
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 3: got the cake, set up tables and chairs, and picked

1205
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 3: up several pizzas. I sat down at one of the tables,

1206
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 3: my body screaming at me not to move and that

1207
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 3: I was stuck there. Now her husband's ant arrives, She

1208
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 3: acknowledges and briefly speaks with husband. She sits and chats

1209
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 3: with adoptive mother in law. Not a glance to me,

1210
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:01,439
Speaker 3: not a way now the hello, you have a little

1211
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 3: bit more story left here. Honestly, I'm sticking to my

1212
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 3: I'm sticking to my six shooter here. Yeah, you gotta

1213
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 3: just accept that the aunt is not going to change

1214
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 3: her ways.

1215
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:13,320
Speaker 4: She's just nacky.

1216
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:14,799
Speaker 3: It doesn't have anything to do with you.

1217
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, some people are just like annoying, and you have

1218
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 2: to be you have to be like, I don't even

1219
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 2: care about your opinion because I have so many other

1220
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 2: people around me that love me and are nice and supportive.

1221
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, and we just stick with being friends with those people.

1222
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 3: Husband contacted aunt and told her that it wasn't right

1223
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 3: what she did. She said it was her job as

1224
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 3: the host to talk to me if she wanted to

1225
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 3: talk to me. Husband tried to explain, I was in

1226
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 3: a lot of pain. It could barely walk for three days.

1227
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 3: She scoffed and said, well, what happened? Happened, can't change

1228
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:49,240
Speaker 3: it now. Husband tried to tell her, OPI will probably

1229
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 3: start refusing to go to family gatherings, which in turn

1230
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 3: will cause daughter not to want to come because she

1231
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 3: loves her mama, and I will not go out of

1232
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,919
Speaker 3: support for my wife. But now he's saying I will

1233
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 3: be ruining Christmas if I don't come. I don't want

1234
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:03,359
Speaker 3: to spend two to three days in a house where

1235
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 3: no one speaks to me. It is not fun. I

1236
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 3: also want to add I haven't drank a drop of

1237
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 3: booze since that first Christmas. It was the only thing

1238
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 3: eighteen year old and me knew how to cope with

1239
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 3: something like that. I've apologized repeatedly, and husband's aunt says, Oh,

1240
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 3: it's fine, don't worry about it. I really don't want

1241
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 3: to go any advice. Please, I'm gonna.

1242
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 2: Talk to your husband get on the same page, because

1243
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 2: he clearly doesn't understand that you're being iced out by this.

1244
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 4: You know a bunch of people.

1245
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, if it's like the whole family is an atocony,

1246
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 3: maybe approach that as a team.

1247
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, say hey, your entire family is not talking to me.

1248
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you've got you know, you've got difficulties with

1249
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,839
Speaker 3: you know, schizophrenia and stuff, and it's like, you know,

1250
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 3: your husband and young you can you can move as

1251
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 3: a unit and he can be your you know, your

1252
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 3: conversational wingman. Yes, keeping you support it. I would. I

1253
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 3: would attempt that he gets the aunt. You know, I

1254
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 3: feel like it. Forego all of these things because the

1255
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 3: ant is so you know, annoying and rude. But let's

1256
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 3: get into these comments to finish the story. Off comment one,

1257
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 3: ask your husband if he would want to go to

1258
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 3: a place for three days where no one would talk

1259
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:15,319
Speaker 3: to him or acknowledge his presence, if he wanted to

1260
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 3: be an outsider watching everyone around him talking and laughing

1261
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 3: and having a good time, and he was the orphan

1262
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 3: in the corner not allowed to join. This is the

1263
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,360
Speaker 3: consequences of ant's behavior. He told her, the result of

1264
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,959
Speaker 3: her behavior, and now it's time to follow through. How

1265
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 3: old is your daughter? A united front in this will

1266
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 3: drive the point home to your husband. I'm mad at

1267
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 3: him already because he should have never allowed the aunt

1268
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 3: to treat you like this from the beginning when you

1269
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 3: lost the first baby. You should have been at home

1270
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 3: in bed, not taking to Christmas celebrations like everything was okay.

1271
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 3: You're not in the wrong here ope. This ant, however,

1272
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 3: is your husband, and your husband is also he needs

1273
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 3: to stand firm and protect you. Opie says, our daughter

1274
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 3: is seven years old. She's hyper aware of what's going

1275
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 3: on around She sadly knows what's going on, and I

1276
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 3: didn't want to drag her into the issue. My family

1277
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 3: says aunt shouldn't be given access to my daughter if

1278
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 3: she can't respect me enough to say hello. But some

1279
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 3: members of husband's family say it's selfish to deny aunt

1280
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 3: from seeing my daughter. Comment too, says it's time to

1281
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 3: start letting his aunt know that she won't be allowed

1282
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 3: around your daughter if she can't show you decent respect.

1283
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 3: But she's been doing this for like a decade now,

1284
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 3: so I don't see how you or your husband have

1285
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 3: allowed it for this long. And your husband acting like

1286
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 3: he's standing up for you then flipping it around is

1287
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 3: another thing that needs to be discussed. It sounds like

1288
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 3: he hasn't done much defending and when he did do it,

1289
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 3: he flipped it back on you. It's his aunt and

1290
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 3: he should have been the first to shut this down

1291
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 3: and he hasn't. So now it's your turn to take action,

1292
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 3: and that is the end of that story.

1293
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just doesn't seem like your husband's doing a

1294
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 2: lot to defend you.

1295
00:57:58,360 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 3: I agree.

1296
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 2: If he's telling you you have to go, you're ruining

1297
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 2: Christmas because you're not going when.

1298
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 3: It's like no, clearly you've told them the Really why

1299
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 3: if anyone's ruining Christmas?

1300
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 7: Is the end?

1301
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's the grinch. She's a real through any emotional changes.

1302
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: It's true.

1303
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 4: Heart's the same size.

1304
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 3: Hey's John Ogi host. We're gonna get back to the stories,

1305
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,160
Speaker 3: but a quick free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1306
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 3: My husband's ex wife kept their daughter away for years

1307
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 3: and now she's changed her mind.

1308
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 4: Bring it back.

1309
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 3: So let's go back to twenty twenty.

1310
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 8: That was a fun year.

1311
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 3: No, My husband was deployed from November of twenty nineteen

1312
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 3: to October of twenty twenty. He Ethan and Vanessa had

1313
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 3: Lilah in January of twenty nineteen, so Ethan wasn't able

1314
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 3: to get much bonding time with his daughter before deployment.

1315
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 3: Vanessa decided that she couldn't just be somebody's wife forever

1316
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 3: and wanted a divorce. They split in March of twenty twenty.

1317
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 3: What a time to do that.

1318
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1319
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user Reina seven one

1320
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 3: nine And if you want to submit your own stories,

1321
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 3: go to the r slash okay. Storytime suppered it and

1322
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 3: oh Pi says he sent her about four hundred and

1323
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 3: fifty dollars on the first and fifteenth of every month

1324
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 3: to cover food and other needs, and he would even

1325
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:25,919
Speaker 3: send extra if needed. She also blew thousands on his

1326
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 3: military travel card that he had to pay back about

1327
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 3: four to five thousand in a short timeframe, which got

1328
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:35,000
Speaker 3: him in trouble with his chain of command. Ethan and

1329
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 3: I met at the very end of June twenty twenty

1330
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 3: because he was still deployed and couldn't get the divorce finalized.

1331
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 3: Vanessa calls me his mistress to this day. I saw

1332
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 3: him every month during the deployment after we met. Vanessa

1333
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 3: never once brought the baby down to see her father,

1334
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 3: even after he offered to pay. She was a stay

1335
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 3: at home mom, but insisted on working even though she

1336
00:59:57,920 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 3: made less than daycare costs. During the deployment, she stopped

1337
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 3: answering questions about the baby, wouldn't answer calls, and constantly

1338
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:10,760
Speaker 3: gave excuses about why she was busy. When they first separated,

1339
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 3: he asked her about a plan for parenting time and custody.

1340
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 3: Her response was, quote, custody will be with me. Your

1341
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 3: little plaything will never be around my kid, and neither

1342
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 3: will you. And you will pay me for your child

1343
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 3: or I will get you messed up, calling him an

1344
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 3: irresponsible man. Uh okay, not a great situation, he asked,

1345
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 3: and that's not keeping my kid for me, And she said,

1346
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 3: I'm dang sure you're gonna do it now. And if

1347
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 3: you were a real father, you'd know her shoe size

1348
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 3: while he was deployed, her shoes.

1349
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 4: Or fee grow. He's like, how much is how much

1350
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 4: of her freak grown? And she's like, you would now

1351
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 4: you'd be tracking the incremental growth.

1352
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 3: Yes, be tracking the growth, you swine. We later found

1353
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 3: out she was dating a married soldier and had him

1354
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 3: staying in Ethan's house on Base Holy Projection, Great snakes,

1355
01:01:08,480 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 3: as the Goat would say, ooh. When Ethan returned from deployment,

1356
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 3: she picked him up late and dropped him off at

1357
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 3: their trashed house. There were dirty dishes, overflowing litter boxes,

1358
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 3: and rooms so cluttered you couldn't see the floor. Sounds

1359
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 3: like a great environment for a small child. She had

1360
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 3: moved in with that married soldier while his pregnant wife

1361
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:32,920
Speaker 3: lived at Ethan's base house. Ethan messaged her within the

1362
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 3: timeframe she set to let her know he would be

1363
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 3: picking up Lilah at the MP station on base. His

1364
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 3: words were quote, I will be meeting you at the

1365
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 3: MP station to pick up Lila at eighteen hundred Friday.

1366
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 3: She replied, Uh, no, you won't, Ethan. We're not even

1367
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,959
Speaker 3: in the state. Have a good day, and if you'd

1368
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 3: like to see Lila, you don't demand anything of me.

1369
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 3: She then blocked him, and he had no contact with

1370
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 3: his daughter from March twenty twenty one to June twenty

1371
01:01:58,280 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 3: twenty one.

1372
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:03,560
Speaker 4: Has she blocked jail? Why are you.

1373
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 3: You can't just leave the state with his child?

1374
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,720
Speaker 4: Pretty sure that's like kidnapping.

1375
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't just do that.

1376
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,840
Speaker 2: He needs to get the legal systems involved here to

1377
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: get custody or at least, you know, some sort of

1378
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 2: customer y.

1379
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 3: After his mother helped arrange a meeting, Vanessa finally told

1380
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,600
Speaker 3: him she was moving, but not where, only that it

1381
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 3: was out of state. We were in Kentucky and Tennessee

1382
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:32,120
Speaker 3: at the time. He served her emotion to enforce parenting

1383
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,920
Speaker 3: time and requested full custody if she continued to keep

1384
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:37,919
Speaker 3: the child away. He had held off, hoping she would

1385
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 3: stop the nonsense and let him be a father. When

1386
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 3: his mother told him Vanessa was leaving the state, he

1387
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 3: moved forward with the plan, and Vanessa saw the words

1388
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 3: full custody and snapped, and I hope all of this

1389
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 3: is being recorded, by the way.

1390
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 4: Yes.

1391
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 3: She started yelling at him to get away from my

1392
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 3: daughter and that he was dangerous. She even called the

1393
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 3: police to say that he was pestering her. She stuttered

1394
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 3: trying to say I fear for my safety and completely

1395
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 3: dropped the act to say humh when the operator asked

1396
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 3: her something. Ethan ended up leaving to keep the peace,

1397
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 3: especially because he had the sheriff there to serve the paperwork.

1398
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 3: After that day, she kept the child from him. The

1399
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 3: court hearing was scheduled, but Vanessa had recently lost a

1400
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:24,920
Speaker 3: family member and had come into some money. She hired

1401
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:27,920
Speaker 3: one of the best lawyers that filed a bunch of motions,

1402
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,920
Speaker 3: and the court date didn't even address the initial filing.

1403
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 3: Multiple court dates later, we had the time wrong by

1404
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 3: about thirty minutes and arrived late. Everything Vanessa claimed ended

1405
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 3: up in black and white as if it were fact.

1406
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 3: She called Ethan a danger she was, said she fled

1407
01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 3: to northern Illinois eight hours away because of fear, accused

1408
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,600
Speaker 3: him of slashing her tires, and claimed the child is

1409
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:53,800
Speaker 3: autistic and the court doubted his ability to care for her.

1410
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 3: The order said no less than supervised visitation with the

1411
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 3: supervisor and place of the mother's choosing. Ethan became a RBT,

1412
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 3: a Registered behavior technician to combat the autism claim, which

1413
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 3: the mother denied every time it was brought up, saying

1414
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:10,480
Speaker 3: the court made that assumption.

1415
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:12,960
Speaker 2: Okay, So now she's going back and saying I never

1416
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 2: said that our child was autistic, and he's like, well,

1417
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 2: then I'm overqualified for this.

1418
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:23,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. It's crazy that that's how that works.

1419
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:25,840
Speaker 3: And it's like they're thirty minutes late to that meeting,

1420
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 3: so instead of just hearing both sides, they're like, well,

1421
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 3: I guess everything that you say now is the truth.

1422
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 4: It's just the truth.

1423
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:33,600
Speaker 8: Now.

1424
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:39,120
Speaker 3: It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard that even now

1425
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 3: there's no confirmation of a diagnosis or lack thereof. Her

1426
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,080
Speaker 3: lawyer is now also saying the child maybe on the spectrum.

1427
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 3: We couldn't afford a lawyer, and Ethan had just gotten

1428
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 3: out of the military. They wouldn't change his child support

1429
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 3: order from when he was in, even though his income

1430
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 3: is significantly lower. He petitioned the child support office countless

1431
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:03,000
Speaker 3: times and never got a response. We set up a

1432
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 3: supervised visitation in Vanessa's city for every other weekend. After

1433
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:09,160
Speaker 3: we moved north, two and a half hours away from

1434
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:12,800
Speaker 3: Vanessa and Lila. That slowed down as Vanessa started making

1435
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:16,360
Speaker 3: false accusations and Ethan cut contact in fear of what

1436
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 3: she might do. She filed an emergency order of protection

1437
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 3: ex partey, saying he followed her at work and made

1438
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 3: inappropriate comments to his child, even though every conversation with

1439
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 3: a child was supervised. She tried to say he threatened

1440
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 3: her with while he was deployed, and she had the

1441
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 3: win in her possession.

1442
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 4: I mean, you just have to like document all this.

1443
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 4: You have all this information and proof that she's lying.

1444
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 3: So just what she just said, is it he threatened

1445
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:48,120
Speaker 3: me with a while he was deployed.

1446
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:51,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I don't think she said well, I think

1447
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 2: they're saying she's claiming that the time when he threatened

1448
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 2: her was couldn't have happen ause he was deployed.

1449
01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I thought she was being like, yeah, well

1450
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 3: he was like thousands of miles away he threatened me,

1451
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,320
Speaker 3: and I have the thing that he threatened me with.

1452
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, weirdo.

1453
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 3: Ethan has no record of violence or substance issues in

1454
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 3: the military or civilian life. Luckily the judge denied it.

1455
01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 3: The supervisor at the visitation place told Ethan that his

1456
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:20,880
Speaker 3: case was the only one they had without an order

1457
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:24,320
Speaker 3: of protection and that in Illinois they can't enforce supervised

1458
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 3: visits without a risk of danger to the child or

1459
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:30,200
Speaker 3: in order. It was odd, and we assumed they told

1460
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 3: Vanessa the same, so she thought she might lose control

1461
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 3: and made things up to file. Also, we had just

1462
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:38,200
Speaker 3: told Lylah she was going to be a big sister

1463
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:43,440
Speaker 3: because I was pregnant. It's now August twenty twenty five.

1464
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 4: Dang, so it's been five years of this.

1465
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:48,560
Speaker 3: Geez a nightmare.

1466
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:49,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1467
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:52,120
Speaker 3: We got a lawyer at the end of June after

1468
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 3: selling one of our vehicles and filed for a change

1469
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 3: in child support parenting time without restrictions, and a couple

1470
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:01,960
Speaker 3: of other small things. Ethan now gets three calls with

1471
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:05,920
Speaker 3: Lila a week. We just had. Yeah, that's could you

1472
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:09,720
Speaker 3: just so crazy? How hard the ball is being dropped here?

1473
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:12,840
Speaker 2: Like you have so much information that she's keeping his

1474
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 2: child from him illegally and they're doing nothing.

1475
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 3: We just had an in person supervised visit for three

1476
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:25,439
Speaker 3: hours with me, my husband, our son, Lilah, the supervisor,

1477
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:28,840
Speaker 3: and Ethan's family who stopped by to see us. The

1478
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:32,400
Speaker 3: supervisor said, Vanessa claimed Lilah would be scared and wouldn't

1479
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:35,240
Speaker 3: recognize her dad. He asked, Lilah, do you know what

1480
01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 3: your daddy looks like? And she said yes. He said, okay,

1481
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:41,400
Speaker 3: when you see him, point to him. She said, he's

1482
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:44,640
Speaker 3: right there. He said, okay, run to him, and she

1483
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:46,960
Speaker 3: ran straight to Ethan, gave him a big hug and

1484
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,040
Speaker 3: jumped into his arms in the middle of a crowded park.

1485
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:53,960
Speaker 3: So then did the did them? Did the supervisor then

1486
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:57,760
Speaker 3: just like turn to Vanessa and go, you're a dirty,

1487
01:07:57,800 --> 01:07:58,760
Speaker 3: stinky little.

1488
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:02,440
Speaker 2: Nigher like this, It's also just like devastating that this

1489
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 2: little girl clearly has, you know, a good relationship with

1490
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 2: her dad and is being kept from him?

1491
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:09,000
Speaker 4: Just really awful.

1492
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:12,920
Speaker 3: Be careful with the people you have children with, folks. Yes,

1493
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:16,679
Speaker 3: the visit went great. In the last ten minutes, Ethan

1494
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 3: and Elilah were running around and apparently Vanessa pulled up

1495
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,880
Speaker 3: a few minutes early. In part she told the supervisor

1496
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:24,920
Speaker 3: she had watched them play and didn't want to continue

1497
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 3: supervised visits, and that she was so moved seeing them together.

1498
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:33,120
Speaker 3: It was a complete one eighty from every conversation we've

1499
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:35,160
Speaker 3: had with her in the past four to five years.

1500
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:37,880
Speaker 3: So what do y'all think? Did she finally grow up

1501
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:40,320
Speaker 3: and change? No, I don't believe that.

1502
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,800
Speaker 2: I think she just doesn't want the supervisor there so

1503
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:44,720
Speaker 2: that she can get mad at you guys and like,

1504
01:08:45,160 --> 01:08:46,839
Speaker 2: you know, have control back exactly.

1505
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:50,000
Speaker 3: She doesn't want someone there who can go, hey, is

1506
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:52,000
Speaker 3: your daughter really scared of you? Because she looked the

1507
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:57,719
Speaker 3: exact opposite of scared, like she's probably, yeah, she's probably

1508
01:08:57,720 --> 01:08:59,599
Speaker 3: just like maybe I had not a new supervisor because

1509
01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:03,280
Speaker 3: this one knows I'm a liar now, yep? Is it

1510
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:05,639
Speaker 3: just for the child? Since she finally saw them interact

1511
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,240
Speaker 3: for the first time since Lila was barely walking and

1512
01:09:08,280 --> 01:09:11,040
Speaker 3: saw that she was truly happy with her father, or

1513
01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:13,240
Speaker 3: is she trying to set him up for more accusations

1514
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:17,840
Speaker 3: in court? There's an edit. I think we all know

1515
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 3: I feel like she's wants more accusations. There's an edit.

1516
01:09:24,479 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 3: Some background from when they separated during deployment. Vanessa said,

1517
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,960
Speaker 3: I'm moving where I need to go. You do you?

1518
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 3: We have nothing to discuss goodbye. Ethan said, I need

1519
01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:37,360
Speaker 3: to know where my daughter will be.

1520
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:40,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, we need.

1521
01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:43,920
Speaker 3: To discuss custody. Vanessa replied, where she will be. He

1522
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:47,000
Speaker 3: does not concern you. Custody will be to me. Goodbye.

1523
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:53,879
Speaker 2: You cannot just decide that unilaterally unless he has posed

1524
01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 2: some sort of pret Why would you ever keep the

1525
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:58,880
Speaker 2: kid away from him?

1526
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:00,799
Speaker 4: I just this is terrible.

1527
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 3: Around Thanksgiving twenty twenty, we had a three way call

1528
01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:07,360
Speaker 3: and discussed me meeting Vanessa because I would be around

1529
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:11,439
Speaker 3: the child. That lasted until about February or March. When

1530
01:10:11,479 --> 01:10:14,599
Speaker 3: Ethan told her they weren't friends, they were co parents.

1531
01:10:15,040 --> 01:10:17,000
Speaker 3: She got hurt and accused him of using her to

1532
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,679
Speaker 3: get close to his child and stopped letting us see

1533
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:22,360
Speaker 3: Lila even before she was served paperwork.

1534
01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 2: I'm sorry she's upset that Ethan doesn't see her as

1535
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:29,599
Speaker 2: his friend when she's actively tried to steal his child

1536
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:31,479
Speaker 2: away from him at every turn.

1537
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:33,320
Speaker 3: And this was back in like what this was back

1538
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:39,000
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty or twenty twenty one, And yeah, it's

1539
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:42,120
Speaker 3: like you were the one who were like, I can't

1540
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:44,800
Speaker 3: be just somebody's wife. Yeah, and then you divorced him,

1541
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,280
Speaker 3: you left him, you left him, and then, by the way,

1542
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:50,439
Speaker 3: got with a married woman's husband. Yeah.

1543
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:54,320
Speaker 2: Track couldn't be someone's wife, but you could take someone's husband.

1544
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:56,720
Speaker 3: I can't be someone's wife, I could be their mistress. Oh.

1545
01:10:58,120 --> 01:11:01,000
Speaker 3: We saw Lilah once after that, because Vanessa had gone

1546
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:03,960
Speaker 3: back to her hometown to handle family matters and couldn't

1547
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:06,360
Speaker 3: make it back to pick up Lilah from Ethan's mom,

1548
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:09,200
Speaker 3: We picked her up. Vanessa met us at the MP

1549
01:11:09,320 --> 01:11:11,679
Speaker 3: station the next day, and that was the last time

1550
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 3: Lilah was in our home. Through all of this, Ethan

1551
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:18,920
Speaker 3: kept asking about Lilah and how she was doing. Vanessa

1552
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 3: always made it seem like he was calling her a

1553
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:24,759
Speaker 3: bad mom, which she is. She would say she's fine,

1554
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:28,560
Speaker 3: wouldn't send pictures, and sometimes wouldn't respond at all, especially

1555
01:11:28,720 --> 01:11:31,920
Speaker 3: when she had him blocked. She had expectations of what

1556
01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:34,840
Speaker 3: it was supposed to look like with Ethan as a dad,

1557
01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:37,679
Speaker 3: though she didn't have her dad growing up and neither

1558
01:11:37,720 --> 01:11:40,960
Speaker 3: did Ethan. He tried explaining he was a first time dad,

1559
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:44,200
Speaker 3: didn't know all the questions to ask, and they needed

1560
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 3: to work together. Other notes, Ethan is a disabled veteran

1561
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:52,480
Speaker 3: and we tried court ordered mediation, but it was unsuccessful.

1562
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:57,520
Speaker 3: In the first meeting, Vanessa demanded no less than supervised

1563
01:11:57,600 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 3: visits for at least a year and said she needs

1564
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 3: to see consistency.

1565
01:12:01,720 --> 01:12:04,520
Speaker 4: You won't even consistently let him see his kid.

1566
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:08,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you literally absconded the child.

1567
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:11,479
Speaker 2: That's the reason there isn't consistency, because you are stealing him,

1568
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:12,679
Speaker 2: stealing the kid from him.

1569
01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:16,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. Side note, he did over a year of supervised

1570
01:12:16,360 --> 01:12:19,639
Speaker 3: visits at the center every other weekend before the accusation started.

1571
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,040
Speaker 3: At the next meeting, she said at least a couple

1572
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:25,120
Speaker 3: more months since they told her a full year wasn't realistic.

1573
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:28,160
Speaker 3: Then two days after the in person supervised visit, she

1574
01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:31,519
Speaker 3: flipped the script. Her boyfriend is the one present for

1575
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,479
Speaker 3: the three calls a week. She hasn't been present for

1576
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:37,680
Speaker 3: any except one She works as a nurse in a

1577
01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:40,920
Speaker 3: big city hospital and attends evening classes, so she trusts

1578
01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:43,200
Speaker 3: a man she's known five to six years at most,

1579
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:46,640
Speaker 3: more than the man she made the child with. We

1580
01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:49,760
Speaker 3: knew where she lived for months before telling her. She

1581
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:53,320
Speaker 3: had been filing claims to Ethan's health insurance under her address,

1582
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:56,640
Speaker 3: but with his name on the paperwork, which is a felony.

1583
01:12:58,200 --> 01:12:59,200
Speaker 4: Yikes.

1584
01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:03,000
Speaker 3: We married in July twenty twenty one. I found those

1585
01:13:03,040 --> 01:13:05,200
Speaker 3: claims and we kept note of it since we couldn't

1586
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:08,280
Speaker 3: afford a lawyer. Yet, we didn't tell her until around Christmas.

1587
01:13:08,520 --> 01:13:11,639
Speaker 3: She acted scared, But all we've done is send presents

1588
01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:15,719
Speaker 3: for Leila on holidays and birthdays, wowing.

1589
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,960
Speaker 4: I feel like she's doing all of this out of spite.

1590
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:24,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's quite honestly absurd. Yeah, someone with just a nasty, little, nasty,

1591
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:29,519
Speaker 3: rotten heart. So we theorize that she's so scared now

1592
01:13:29,600 --> 01:13:33,280
Speaker 3: because she knows what she's doing is wrong. She's accused

1593
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:36,560
Speaker 3: him of doing the things she's done herself, like deceptive

1594
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:39,760
Speaker 3: behavior and keeping the child away. We only found out

1595
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,599
Speaker 3: about the June court date that started this recent movement

1596
01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:45,519
Speaker 3: because we were on the county website for something else.

1597
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:47,519
Speaker 3: I looked at my husband and saw he had a

1598
01:13:47,560 --> 01:13:50,920
Speaker 3: court date the following Monday. We found it on Saturday.

1599
01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:53,920
Speaker 3: After that court date, she decided to hire the lawyer

1600
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:56,400
Speaker 3: and get things in motion. Now we're hoping the court

1601
01:13:56,439 --> 01:14:00,360
Speaker 3: finally sees the pattern and allows ethan meaningful pair parenting

1602
01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:05,280
Speaker 3: time without restrictions, alongside a fair child support review. We're

1603
01:14:05,320 --> 01:14:08,320
Speaker 3: doing everything we can to make this right for Lila.

1604
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story. May. Yeah,

1605
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:12,920
Speaker 3: I think that's what sickens me so much with those

1606
01:14:12,960 --> 01:14:15,160
Speaker 3: kind of stories, is that it's the parents just like

1607
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:19,800
Speaker 3: fully not actually caring what's No, that's the thing about

1608
01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:20,680
Speaker 3: your kids.

1609
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:22,880
Speaker 2: Doing it out of spite. She doesn't care about her daughter,

1610
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:26,200
Speaker 2: at least, you know, doesn't. I don't know, care about

1611
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:28,960
Speaker 2: what's doing what's best for her. She just wants to win.

1612
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:31,799
Speaker 3: She probably just wants to check yes, the child support.

1613
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:35,320
Speaker 2: She wants the child support. She wants to be right,

1614
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:36,479
Speaker 2: she wants to like.

1615
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:40,000
Speaker 3: She's committed on his facetical insurance. She just wants to

1616
01:14:40,040 --> 01:14:43,599
Speaker 3: take advantage of this guy as hard as possible. Yeah,

1617
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:44,639
Speaker 3: and uh.

1618
01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:48,120
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter who Yeah, it doesn't matter who's hurt.

1619
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:51,320
Speaker 3: In the process to yeah, looting her own kid.

1620
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:54,400
Speaker 4: That's the end of that story.

1621
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 3: It is