WEBVTT - Invite a yes, not a no

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to invite a yes, not a no. While

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<v Speaker 1>this might seem like a small thing, phrasing your questions

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<v Speaker 1>so that people who agree with you can answer yes

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<v Speaker 1>makes for clearer conversations. It creates a tone of positivity too.

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<v Speaker 1>People often ask each other do you mind if would

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<v Speaker 1>it be too much trouble if I We generally assume

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<v Speaker 1>that phrasing questions this way is more polite than asking

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<v Speaker 1>in different ways. But the problem is that if you

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<v Speaker 1>ask questions this way, if someone agrees with you, the

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<v Speaker 1>correct response as actually no, as in no, I do

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<v Speaker 1>not mind if you turn down the heat, or no

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<v Speaker 1>it would not be too much trouble for me to

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<v Speaker 1>keep your kid at my house for an extra fifteen

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<v Speaker 1>minutes since you got stuck in traffic. As you can imagine,

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<v Speaker 1>when a no answer is affirmative, this is confusing. People

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<v Speaker 1>might say yes naturally to indicate they agree, and then

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<v Speaker 1>you have to figure out what they meant, as in

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<v Speaker 1>yes they mind or yes it's okay. When people are

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about this problem, they often answer sure, that's fine

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<v Speaker 1>to indicate their affirmation, but all of that is extra

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<v Speaker 1>mental work. It is clearer to phrase your question so

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<v Speaker 1>that an answer of yes affirms that your plan is

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<v Speaker 1>indeed okay, all right with you? If I turned down

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<v Speaker 1>the heat, an answer of yes or sure means that

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<v Speaker 1>your companion is fine with your chaining the thermostat. Inviting

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<v Speaker 1>a guess is mentally easier, but it also avoids needlessly

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<v Speaker 1>introducing the negative. It feels better to say and hear yes.

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<v Speaker 1>That is true and general in life. So why not

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<v Speaker 1>rephrase your questions so that the answer indicating agreement with

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<v Speaker 1>your plan is positively phrased? All right? If I open

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<v Speaker 1>the sun roof, could I look over your shoulder to

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<v Speaker 1>see the agenda? Does it work for you? If I

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<v Speaker 1>hop in the shower, now okay with you? If we

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<v Speaker 1>eat dinner outside, If what you have proposed is all right,

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<v Speaker 1>your companion can say yes or sure or some other

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<v Speaker 1>positive response, and all is good. You just need to

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<v Speaker 1>be attuned to the answer you are eliciting. It's a

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<v Speaker 1>little thing, sure, but it does make life a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit better in the meantime. This is Laura, Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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