1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: tip is to invite a yes, not a no. While 4 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: this might seem like a small thing, phrasing your questions 5 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: so that people who agree with you can answer yes 6 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: makes for clearer conversations. It creates a tone of positivity too. 7 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: People often ask each other do you mind if would 8 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: it be too much trouble if I We generally assume 9 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: that phrasing questions this way is more polite than asking 10 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: in different ways. But the problem is that if you 11 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: ask questions this way, if someone agrees with you, the 12 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: correct response as actually no, as in no, I do 13 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: not mind if you turn down the heat, or no 14 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: it would not be too much trouble for me to 15 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: keep your kid at my house for an extra fifteen 16 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: minutes since you got stuck in traffic. As you can imagine, 17 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: when a no answer is affirmative, this is confusing. People 18 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: might say yes naturally to indicate they agree, and then 19 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: you have to figure out what they meant, as in 20 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:32,400 Speaker 1: yes they mind or yes it's okay. When people are 21 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: thinking about this problem, they often answer sure, that's fine 22 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 1: to indicate their affirmation, but all of that is extra 23 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: mental work. It is clearer to phrase your question so 24 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: that an answer of yes affirms that your plan is 25 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: indeed okay, all right with you? If I turned down 26 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: the heat, an answer of yes or sure means that 27 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: your companion is fine with your chaining the thermostat. Inviting 28 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: a guess is mentally easier, but it also avoids needlessly 29 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: introducing the negative. It feels better to say and hear yes. 30 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,799 Speaker 1: That is true and general in life. So why not 31 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: rephrase your questions so that the answer indicating agreement with 32 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: your plan is positively phrased? All right? If I open 33 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: the sun roof, could I look over your shoulder to 34 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: see the agenda? Does it work for you? If I 35 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: hop in the shower, now okay with you? If we 36 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 1: eat dinner outside, If what you have proposed is all right, 37 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: your companion can say yes or sure or some other 38 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 1: positive response, and all is good. You just need to 39 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: be attuned to the answer you are eliciting. It's a 40 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: little thing, sure, but it does make life a little 41 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: bit better in the meantime. This is Laura, Thanks for listening, 42 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 43 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 44 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 45 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod 46 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 47 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 48 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled 49 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I 50 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a 51 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 52 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 53 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: favorite shows.