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Speaker 1: Should it be an episode on relationships or is that

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Speaker 1: too close to the sex episode? No, I think it's

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Speaker 1: totally different. But the thing is, will you have anything

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Speaker 1: to talk about? I'm just kidding. Oh my god, I'm

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Speaker 1: just kidding. Wow. Uh. It's August, which, um you may

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Speaker 1: not know. It is kind of just like a dead

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Speaker 1: time all around for a lot of people who work

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Speaker 1: in media and especially freelancers. In its summer, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we want to like have a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: summer break. Although I mean in August, I'm actually going

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Speaker 1: to be working just on different things. So so we're

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Speaker 1: like a virgin LLC. That's actually that's not actually what

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Speaker 1: our l is. Loretta after Struck. Loretta LLC is taking

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Speaker 1: some time off this August, and we so enjoyed recording

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Speaker 1: our Girls Girling episodes in June and are still you know,

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Speaker 1: apart and want to spend a little extra time together.

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Speaker 1: So you're hearing this now in August, but we're recording

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Speaker 1: it in July, and like those episodes in June, we're

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Speaker 1: going to focus on one topic or theme that is

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Speaker 1: not media or entertainment related and just kind of shoot

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Speaker 1: the ship about that. Yes, so no cultural topic for today,

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Speaker 1: but we were tasked by producer Phoebe to talk about relationships,

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Speaker 1: and I believe the inciting question she's provided us is

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Speaker 1: why have all your romantic relationships failed? Which just goes

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Speaker 1: to show that Phoebe um knows us very well and

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Speaker 1: also is a bitch. I will, okay, so let me

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Speaker 1: just caveat this because it's not necessarily inaccurate to say

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Speaker 1: to ask why have all your romantic relationships failed? Because

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Speaker 1: as far as relationships go, you and I have maybe

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Speaker 1: not been in as many as the average girl, or

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Speaker 1: maybe um just like don't prioritize or like market our

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Speaker 1: lives through relationships the way some people do. But I

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Speaker 1: will say, and also, neither of us are currently in

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Speaker 1: a relationship, so you know, just by by you know, logic,

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Speaker 1: that means all of our previous relationships have failed because

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Speaker 1: none of them continue to endure. But I will say,

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Speaker 1: just to be that girl, that I actually just don't

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Speaker 1: feel like any of my relationships have been quote unquote failures.

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Speaker 1: I I really believe in like love cycles. I believe

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Speaker 1: that like all relationships kind of teach me things and

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Speaker 1: like give me something new, um and cult and I

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Speaker 1: do feel like I and the product. I think, like

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Speaker 1: who I am today is the product of a lot

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Speaker 1: of ex lovers and like it they have you know,

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Speaker 1: given me or taught me in the time that I

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Speaker 1: spent with them. So like when a relationship ends, I

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily think of it as a failure. I think

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Speaker 1: of it as the end of a love cycle. Um.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know, I I yeah, I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to copy at that. Okay, well, thank you for providing

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Speaker 1: that context. Um. You know a lot of my relationships

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Speaker 1: have failed because I wasn't exactly interested in them. Um.

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Speaker 1: I as I've I've kind of like jokingly said on

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Speaker 1: this podcast before, like that I think I might fall

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Speaker 1: somewhere on the A romantic or demi romantic spectrum. And like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how true that is. I think, like

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Speaker 1: for me defining it in that way, it's not super helpful.

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Speaker 1: It's just like relationships have never been a huge priority

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Speaker 1: for me. And I really love the beginning of a relationship.

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Speaker 1: I love a crush, I love that feeling of obsession,

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Speaker 1: and then as soon as my interest is returned, I

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Speaker 1: lose it. Um. So that's kind of how all of

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Speaker 1: my relationships have mostly failed, and then also a lot

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Speaker 1: of them have been just because what if that didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: I got to the point where I wanted to like

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Speaker 1: define what we were, and the other person and I

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Speaker 1: were not on the same page. Either. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be you know, boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever, and the

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Speaker 1: other person didn't or the other person did, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, that's not what we are. I guess the

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Speaker 1: biggest problem with all my romantic relationships has the through

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Speaker 1: line has been just not being on the same page

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Speaker 1: as the other person. You know, Like the last time

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Speaker 1: I actually dated someone when it ended was when I said, like,

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Speaker 1: so we've been dating for a while, do I call

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Speaker 1: you my boyfriend? And the other person was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I didn't think that was something we were doing, which

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Speaker 1: is like so gas lady, because like it's not just

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Speaker 1: about words, like you show people through actions how you

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Speaker 1: were defining your relationship. And this was someone who very

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Speaker 1: much acted like my boyfriend. Yes, if you're playing house

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Speaker 1: and doing all this ship, if you're if you're like

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Speaker 1: raking in on the emotional intimacy, like because he wanted

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Speaker 1: me to like come over every night just to sleep.

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Speaker 1: He like texted me every day. He wanted to like

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Speaker 1: go out to dinner all the time. I guess maybe

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Speaker 1: what pushed him over the edge was one time after

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Speaker 1: we had sex, I set his call to Garson wallet

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Speaker 1: on fire by accident. On accident. It was an accident.

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Speaker 1: He had a hit a lit candle and I you know,

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Speaker 1: knocked his wallet into it and it lit on fire.

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Speaker 1: But he definitely was my boyfriend. And then when I

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Speaker 1: was like, so, you're my boyfriend, right, he was like whoa.

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Speaker 1: Whoa was such a huge red flag, an immediate chop um.

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Speaker 1: So I similarly, I have similar problems. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm always not on the same page with like the

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Speaker 1: romantic partners that I find, and um, I'm usually trying

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Speaker 1: to keep things casual and they want something more. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to feel it out or take my time and

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Speaker 1: and that's just not where they are. And that's usually

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Speaker 1: a consequence of dating people that are younger than me,

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Speaker 1: which happens all the time. But I will say my

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Speaker 1: relationships usually start in kind of the inverse way. I

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Speaker 1: cannot in any way develop a real crush on someone

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Speaker 1: unless I have green light confirmation that they like me

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Speaker 1: or that they're into me, Like my crush, and I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't know if this is like a really great,

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Speaker 1: very healthy approach relationships or if it's just narcissism. But like,

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Speaker 1: I truly cannot find that you know, crushy feeling until

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Speaker 1: it feels like a possibility for me, And I think

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Speaker 1: that kind of cuts me off from a lot of opportunities. Like,

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Speaker 1: but it's probably healthy. It is healthy. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful for it because I'm not like stuck, not since

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Speaker 1: high school, at least not stuck like pining over people

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Speaker 1: that aren't going to love me back um or aren't

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Speaker 1: even gonna like, you know, think about think about me.

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Speaker 1: But it also like cuts me off from opportunity because

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Speaker 1: if I don't have a green light, if I don't

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Speaker 1: have like initial flirting or anything, which is really difficult

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Speaker 1: for me to pick up on in the first place,

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Speaker 1: like I just won't even consider you as a prospect um,

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Speaker 1: And so I tend to play defense. And anybody that

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Speaker 1: ever wants to get me, which has always always been

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Speaker 1: true and probably will stay true, usually has to approach

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Speaker 1: me first in sub capacity, you know. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's when I start to engage. But yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know it's so hard especially when like, especially in like

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Speaker 1: queer relationships, like the situation ship just is rain supreme.

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Speaker 1: It rains supreme, and I am in a lot of them,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like, you know, the only ethical way

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Speaker 1: to do situation ships is that is if you're both

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Speaker 1: on the same page about being in situation ships. And

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Speaker 1: that has been like my last few relationships have been

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Speaker 1: that they've been things that we have not labeled, but

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Speaker 1: we have like in subcapacity committed to each other. Um.

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Speaker 1: But it creates tension if one of the partners is

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Speaker 1: not forthcoming about what their wants and needs are and um,

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Speaker 1: the the the issue really at the end of the

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Speaker 1: day usually is like they want something that I do

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Speaker 1: not want, or they're not willing to take it at

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Speaker 1: the pace that I want to take it, or we're

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Speaker 1: not finding a way to compromise, or I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I I think that To answer Phoebe's inciting question, I

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Speaker 1: do feel like a lot of my relationships become about power,

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Speaker 1: dynamic and control. And you always have the power, you know,

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Speaker 1: you always want the power? Yeah, I do. Well, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't say I always want the power. I would say

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Speaker 1: in recent and like the last two ish years, I've

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Speaker 1: really conceded myself to my lovers and tried my hardest

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Speaker 1: to be less like the person that I used to be,

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Speaker 1: but but trying to reclaim how our relationships does come

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Speaker 1: naturally to me. So it is a vice I I

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Speaker 1: end up falling into. Like I I like things to

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Speaker 1: be on my terms. I like and you ask what

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Speaker 1: you want, you you ask for what you want in

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Speaker 1: relationships exactly. But the thing is, if I date you

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Speaker 1: long enough, what I eventually have to kind of let

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Speaker 1: you in on is just say, like, hey, my first relationship,

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Speaker 1: which was a year and a half long, was really

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Speaker 1: emotionally traumatizing and like it was with a person who

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Speaker 1: controlled everything that I did and and and so now

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Speaker 1: I've basically shaped all of my future relationships after that

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Speaker 1: to protect myself in a way that is sometimes overcorrective

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Speaker 1: and you know, not fair to the partners that I

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Speaker 1: take on. And sometimes I mean someone that I dated

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Speaker 1: a few years ago, I had to be like, hey, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I reacted this way. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why I did this. I don't know why I

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Speaker 1: did that. I'm so sorry. I think it's coming from

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Speaker 1: this has to do with like my last relations or

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Speaker 1: this has to do with relationships eons ago, and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to do with you. And I'm so sorry

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Speaker 1: that it's that I brought it in. I mean, that's

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Speaker 1: it's really good that you're so self aware about it,

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Speaker 1: because despite the fact that I don't, or maybe because

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Speaker 1: of the fact that I don't have a lot of

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Speaker 1: romantic relationships, when I have been in them, I just

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Speaker 1: act like fucking crazy person and I don't really have

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Speaker 1: any self control. And that feeling of like having a

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Speaker 1: crush and it being something that is controlling you. That

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Speaker 1: is really most of my experience with relationships and probably

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Speaker 1: why I choose not to shape my life around them,

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Speaker 1: because I know that I'm just like prone to that.

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Speaker 1: There's someone who I dated right around right before I

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Speaker 1: started transitioning who just like never kind of gave me

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Speaker 1: what I wanted but always strung me along and he

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Speaker 1: was so hot and I was so obsessed with him,

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Speaker 1: and then would like periodically pop back into my life

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Speaker 1: over the years and say things like, oh, well, I

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Speaker 1: actually think I might be bisexual and I might be

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Speaker 1: into women, and like give me a little bit of hope,

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Speaker 1: and then that feeling of not having control of how

193
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Speaker 1: I acted around this person would come back and we

194
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Speaker 1: even he he was really into uh sticking pokes at

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Speaker 1: one point, and he one time we like hung out

196
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Speaker 1: and he gave me a tattoo and then I tattooed

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Speaker 1: my name on his ass um. Oh my god, that's

198
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Speaker 1: so punk. That's like very you not gonna lie it

199
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Speaker 1: is and it was so it was so hot, and

200
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Speaker 1: I said to him, like after it happened, I said,

201
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Speaker 1: so you know that I own you now, and he's like,

202
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Speaker 1: I know, I've always known that. And it was crazy

203
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Speaker 1: to me how he could say things like that that

204
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Speaker 1: we're so hot, but like then not follow that up

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Speaker 1: with giving me what I actually wanted, which was just

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Speaker 1: like him. And so because of that feeling, I am

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Speaker 1: someone who likes control. And so I guess one of

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Speaker 1: the reasons why I have chosen not to order my

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Speaker 1: life around romantic relationships is because I don't want to,

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Speaker 1: in a larger sense, give up the control over my

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Speaker 1: life that I have. And yeah, I guess I'm too

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Speaker 1: into being the person who says what I what I'm doing,

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Speaker 1: and what I want um to like give up that

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Speaker 1: larger control and I mean you said you kind of

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Speaker 1: read me kind of Recently, we were talking about doing

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Speaker 1: our live show in New York and I was saying

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Speaker 1: that the reason that I I didn't want to do

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Speaker 1: it is because I couldn't be in control of it

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Speaker 1: and the way I wanted, and you said, no, what

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Speaker 1: it's actually about is you don't want to be uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's another big part of it, is,

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Speaker 1: like relationships are really uncomfortable. You're giving so much of yourself,

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Speaker 1: You're putting so much of yourself into someone else's hands

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Speaker 1: and letting them decide, and you're letting someone see you

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Speaker 1: in a really vulnerable way, and that to me is

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Speaker 1: extremely uncomfortable. And because I know I have this propensity

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Speaker 1: to like become so obsessed with someone that I'll like

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Speaker 1: literally them do whatever they want. I'll let them like

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Speaker 1: tattoo something on my body, I just don't let myself

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Speaker 1: get to the point where that could even start to happen.

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Speaker 1: I similarly, like I can, I can try. I'm very protective,

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Speaker 1: and I think I don't know if it's in the

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Speaker 1: same way, but like I can be very codependent, like

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Speaker 1: extremely codependent with like my lovers and like I when

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Speaker 1: I get into a rhythm with them, I want them

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Speaker 1: around all the time. And I get really scared of

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Speaker 1: that version of myself, like my Venus is and Gemini

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Speaker 1: and like a switch flips, and UM, I think it's

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Speaker 1: it's something that can be really terrifying, Um, to make

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Speaker 1: yourself that vulnerable or uncomfortable, as you're saying. And I

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Speaker 1: think a lot about worthiness. And I think that you

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Speaker 1: and I just actually have arrived at a place where

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Speaker 1: we really do know our own worth. Like we really

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Speaker 1: do know how good we are at our jobs. We

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Speaker 1: know like how we ascend, We know like how good

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Speaker 1: we are actually have relationships and communication, how adult we are,

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Speaker 1: like how stable we are in our own lives, and

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Speaker 1: like it's really hard for prospective lovers to even come

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Speaker 1: close to like where we are. You know, I know,

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Speaker 1: I really I can't imagine being with someone who's not

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Speaker 1: on my level. And I don't mean that, and I

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Speaker 1: mean that in many ways, not just in one way. Also,

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Speaker 1: my Venus is also in Gemini. Wait are you kidding me? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my Venus is in Gemini in the second house, jaw direct.

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Speaker 1: We need to talk to Channy about this, Um, we

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Speaker 1: need to conference her and immediately that is whack a doodle. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but so um I think when I over the past

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Speaker 1: couple of years, I have found myself getting a lot

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Speaker 1: more attention from younger people, which is not necessarily like

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Speaker 1: who I normally am the most attracted to. And because

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Speaker 1: of that, I can't imagine dating someone who does not

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Speaker 1: have their shipped together in the same way I do,

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Speaker 1: so like, I don't even like consider this like people

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Speaker 1: as partners and I and I mean that on so

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Speaker 1: many levels, like I mean financially, like someone who who

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Speaker 1: has their ship together with their career at least like

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Speaker 1: knows what they want to do or is like working

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Speaker 1: towards that, And also someone who knows themselves because a

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Speaker 1: lot of people really don't know themselves. And you and

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Speaker 1: I are two people who have done a lot of

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Speaker 1: work to become almost painfully self aware. And you know,

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Speaker 1: if my romantic relationships could be at the level as

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Speaker 1: my you know, friendships are, maybe, but it's it's so

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Speaker 1: much work. I mean, you and I do so much processing,

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Speaker 1: and I an't imagine doing that with someone I have

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Speaker 1: sex with. Okay, two things. First of all, the overprocessing

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Speaker 1: thing is so real. I do feel like I've done

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Speaker 1: so much self work, but now to the point of

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Speaker 1: just like it becoming an issue. You like, one of

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Speaker 1: my last serious relationships. Our relationship had already ended, but

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Speaker 1: we had you know, one of those like months later,

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Speaker 1: like let's talk a little bit about it and how

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Speaker 1: when or whatever. And something that he said has really

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Speaker 1: stuck out to him. He was like, we spent so

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Speaker 1: much time processing and talking about what wasn't going wrong

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Speaker 1: or how you were trying to fix yourself or how

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Speaker 1: I was trying to fix myself. Like we spent so

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Speaker 1: much time saying how we were going to do better

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Speaker 1: that we never like just were we never were in

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Speaker 1: the actual relationship because we're talking too much about the

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Speaker 1: futurity and how to improve it. And I was, but

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Speaker 1: was but was that a direct result of conflict you

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Speaker 1: were having? It was? It was? It was. It was

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Speaker 1: a direct result of conflict and also a direct result

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Speaker 1: of me being and like I think my first year

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Speaker 1: of therapy, so there was a lot going on. It

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Speaker 1: was the pandemic because I think when you have when

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Speaker 1: you have conflict, like you need to work through it.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons why fran I have a

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Speaker 1: good friendship and are able to work together. And it's

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Speaker 1: like I was talking to someone about this recently, like

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Speaker 1: it's not just something that happens. Fran and I have

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Speaker 1: had some very you know, not but very intense moments

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Speaker 1: in our friendship where we have had to call each

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Speaker 1: other out or call each other in and really talk

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Speaker 1: about it because our friendship is really important to both

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Speaker 1: of us. Um And I know that I'm someone with

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Speaker 1: interpersonal relationships that if I don't, if I don't bring

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Speaker 1: something a problem up when it's happening, it will just

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Speaker 1: fester and become something much bigger than what it is.

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Speaker 1: And that's like, I'm so grateful that I'm able to

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Speaker 1: come to you and say, like, hey, this thing happened

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Speaker 1: the other day and it has been kind of bugging me.

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Speaker 1: And I know that if I just don't say something

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Speaker 1: about it, it's going to keep bugging me. So let's

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Speaker 1: just talk about it. Um And I just can't see

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Speaker 1: myself doing that with a romantic partner because all the

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Speaker 1: times I've tried it has so backfired on me. I

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Speaker 1: just don't prioritize romantic relationships. I let romantic relationships happen

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Speaker 1: to me. They fall into my lap. Someone approaches me,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to engage with that because you've taken the time.

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Speaker 1: And if I think you're sexy or fun and I

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Speaker 1: want to date, but like I'm just not hawking for them.

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Speaker 1: I don't go out to the clubs to look for relationships.

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Speaker 1: I'm there with my girlies. When I imagine my life,

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Speaker 1: when I and I'm someone who doesn't want to get married, okay,

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Speaker 1: like I do want to be a wife, okay, but

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Speaker 1: like when I imagine my life, I imagine that wedding

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Speaker 1: or like what my life looks like. I don't imagine

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Speaker 1: myself and a partner. I imagine myself and a partner

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Speaker 1: and a community of people that we have like built

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Speaker 1: our lives around, and with that we are cultivating lives

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Speaker 1: together that I'm helping raise my friends kids that I

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00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 1: am like you know that I'm traveling all the time

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00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: with my friends and with my partner, Like I don't

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00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: want isolated time to no end with like my you know,

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00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 1: betrothed or whoever. It is, like it's just I can't

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Speaker 1: I can't even imagine that. I thought that I think

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00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 1: is the problem. Although I do have moments where I think,

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00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: you know, last week it was my birthday, and I

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00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 1: did think it would be so nice to have a

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Speaker 1: partner who was like making sure that I was, you know,

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00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: having a good day or like whatever. But those are

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Speaker 1: really the only moments where I think about that. And

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Speaker 1: part of all this is I'm so bad at dating

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Speaker 1: and I just don't It's like, I mean, dating is

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00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 1: working hard. I mean, it's it's a it's it's a

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00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 1: combination of being bad at it and also being completely disinterested,

349
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: and a big part of it is being out of

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Speaker 1: practice with it. So much of this is you know,

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00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: a byproduct of over two years of the pandemic and

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00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 1: just like not my social muscles not being what they

353
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: used to be. But I remember, like right after I

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00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,880
Speaker 1: moved to l A, you know, I was trying to

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00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: find connection. I was like not just I wasn't really

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00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: using Grinder because I didn't want to have casual sex

357
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,679
Speaker 1: because of the scary COVID of it all. But I

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00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,680
Speaker 1: started to use like tender more. And there are people

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00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 1: who wanted to like meet up in the park and

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00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: go on a walk, and I mean, first of all,

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Speaker 1: I don't ever want to I don't ever want to

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00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: meet up with someone in a park ever again. But

363
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: I was so out of practice of talking to a

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00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: human being I didn't know in real life, and dating

365
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 1: was already something that I had been really like bad

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00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 1: about and disinterested in, and so I just like fully

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00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 1: opted out of it. I remember even I even made

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00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 1: plans to meet up with someone and then just ghosted

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00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: them because I was like, I can't do this. I

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00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 1: don't have the spoons for it. I mean, yeah, I mean,

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00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: I you know, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself.

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Speaker 1: I think it's it's worth saying. And what probably virgins

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00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 1: at home already know is that, like dating as a

374
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:32,199
Speaker 1: trans person is extremely hard, and dating is hard for

375
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,959
Speaker 1: girls like us, but like especially for girls like you,

376
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 1: like yours and my transness are extremely different, and like

377
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: I benefit from just you know, still dating faggots, you know,

378
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 1: like we date dip completely different pools of people um

379
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 1: to summit to some extent, and you know, I just

380
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 1: like the mental back flips and kind of inner monologues

381
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 1: that you have to have just to get yourself in

382
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 1: the door is just completely different than probably most people

383
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast. You know, yeah, I think I

384
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: you know, I would imagine that a lot of trans

385
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: people can understand that experience, and like a lot of

386
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 1: since people might not have a way to even conceptualize

387
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: what it is like as a trans person. Two, think

388
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: about dating, to think about meeting someone if you've never

389
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 1: met before, and like all of the things you have

390
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: to sort of like prepare yourself for about how they

391
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 1: might interact with you or see you. And yeah, like

392
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: not even honestly, like microaggressions are like the baseline, but

393
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: like what's worse actually is like what they don't say,

394
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,479
Speaker 1: but what you know they're thinking. Yeah, And I started

395
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: and I started like being especially in the past, I

396
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe six months that you know, I do

397
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,719
Speaker 1: not hook up with people as often as I used to,

398
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: and when I do, I'm much more upfront. I like

399
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 1: really don't want to have sex with men who consider

400
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: themselves straight at all. And like, you know, I'm by,

401
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 1: but I do primarily have sex with men. It's just

402
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 1: easier to casually have sex with with men. I'd really

403
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: do not want to have sex with anyone who doesn't

404
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 1: consider themselves queer. And I have started like the last

405
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: person I had sex with, um who's by, I said

406
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: something along the lines of like just you know, like

407
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 1: I don't consider myself super cis passing. So if that's

408
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: something you're interested in, if you're like on Grinder specifically

409
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: looking for looking for trans women, that's just not my tea.

410
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,719
Speaker 1: And and he, you know, was like, oh yeah, Like

411
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: I would never think that my opinion on how someone

412
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: presented like should have any impact on them. And that's

413
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: not something I really care about at all. And so

414
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: it is like very reassuring to me to have those

415
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: kinds of caveats upfront and out of the way. But

416
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 1: it's still like, is scary. I think it's less scary

417
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,959
Speaker 1: when it's just sex, but if you have a feeling

418
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: that it could be more than that, I think when

419
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 1: you're trans, it's just like you're always waiting for the

420
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 1: shooter drop, I mean, honestly, though, to end on some lightness,

421
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 1: I have to bring up a point that we talked

422
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: about in the Honey Pluton episode, which is that you

423
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 1: and I would be exceptional contestants on a dating show.

424
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 1: I think I would be a great judge or a host.

425
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no, I don't want to be

426
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: a contestant, baby, baby, this this is my plea virgins.

427
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: If you know casting directors, producers, you know people that

428
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: work on reality shows, especially if you know someone that

429
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: works on funk Boy Island who is trying to develop

430
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: a queer funk they Island. We want to be cast.

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Speaker 1: We would be excellent dating contestants. I want to be

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Speaker 1: the host, okay, fine, But beyond that, what I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to do, Rose, is use this public platform to get

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Speaker 1: you laid, okay, like all of us deserve. I'm totally

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Speaker 1: I'm totally open to people sliding into my d M. Hello.

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Speaker 1: I mean, even though you don't read your d m s,

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Speaker 1: what's the best way actually? Rose? Like, So I did

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Speaker 1: I do read? I check my d m s. I

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Speaker 1: don't wait on to them. I G not Twitter, right,

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Speaker 1: I G yeah, I don't check my Twitter Twitter? Okay

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Speaker 1: for me? I also d ms also work, especially for Instagram,

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00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: so that I can see what you look like first, um,

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Speaker 1: And I feel like, don't DM me if you live

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Speaker 1: in like wherever the fuck? Yeah, if you live in

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Speaker 1: l A and you want to slide, go forward, slide,

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Speaker 1: We'll see. And for me, I mean, I'm a bicoastal girl,

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Speaker 1: but like I'm in New York, right, now, so hit

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Speaker 1: me up. Next week we'll be back with another you know,

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00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: chit chatty episode, so you know nothing to prep for that,

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00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: but come prepared for us to get a little deep,

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00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: little vulnerable. Um And as always, you can leave us

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00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: a review on Apple podcast It helps us so much.

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Speaker 1: I'm your co host, Rose Damn You. You can find

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Speaker 1: me anywhere online at Rose Damn You, and I'm Franterato.

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00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: You can find me at friends, Wish, go anywhere you

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00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: want subscribe to Like a Virgin anywhere you listen to podcasts,

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00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 1: leave us a rating on Spotify or a review on

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00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts. We love to see them. Like a Virgin

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00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: is an I Heart Radio production. Our producers Phoebe Unter,

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00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 1: with support from Lindsay Hoffman, Julian Weller, Jess Crane Chitch

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00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: and Nikki Etour. See you next week. Virgins by Chow

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Speaker 1: Audioles