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Speaker 1: Okay, Hi Catherine, Oh, hello Chelsea, Hello our listeners. I

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Speaker 1: am currently in Maths Vinyad with my family Vaca, and

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Speaker 1: we have cousins coming. We have I just got here,

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Speaker 1: so I'm solo and my family arrives and starts to

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Speaker 1: ruin everything probably in four to six days. And I

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Speaker 1: have my show coming up at the East Hampton club

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Speaker 1: House August twenty six, so that's right around the corner.

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Speaker 1: If you haven't got tickets and you're in East Tampton,

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Speaker 1: get them. It's an intimate show and there are still

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Speaker 1: tickets left, so I'm not really sure what that's about.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, my family is coming and we added some people.

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Speaker 1: I always like to add randoms into the mix on

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Speaker 1: family vacations because my family's always like that's kimming. It's

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Speaker 1: like none of your fucking business. So yeah, so we

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Speaker 1: but my cousins are coming this year. And my aunt Gabby,

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Speaker 1: who's my queen bitch in our family. She's the one

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Speaker 1: who created the bitches in our family.

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Speaker 2: We blame her her. Yeah, she's very antisocial.

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Speaker 3: And yet she wants to be with everybody.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she likes to be there, but she doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to be in the mix. She wants everybody around her,

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Speaker 1: just like my mom did. My mom would go upstairs

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Speaker 1: and bring a liverwort sandwich.

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Speaker 2: It's like so gross.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't even go into her bedroom when she had

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Speaker 1: one of those until it was consumed, and she would

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Speaker 1: just keep her door open, and my mom would just

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Speaker 1: sit there and listen to us. She's like, the best

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Speaker 1: joy in my life is to listen to my family.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, but not be interacting with any of us.

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Speaker 4: My dad is a little bit like your aunt where

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Speaker 4: he at family gatherings, like he loves to be there,

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Speaker 4: but he wants to like sit quietly in the corner

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Speaker 4: by himself and to sort of like watch everybody.

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Speaker 3: Which is you know, just sort of weird dad move.

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Speaker 4: But now my sister's husband, who is friends with my dad,

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Speaker 4: he's kind of the same way, so they just like

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Speaker 4: sit quietly in the corner, and like, sometimes I'm.

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Speaker 1: Not interested in being quiet, like you know, if you're

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Speaker 1: I am, like, I like to be quiet, but in solitude.

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Speaker 1: But like when you're in a family gathering, we have

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Speaker 1: too many people in our family that don't fucking talk

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Speaker 1: and they're not really yeah, yeah, my sister's husband barely talks.

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Speaker 2: Ever.

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Speaker 1: My sister's son is very shy, but he's warming up

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Speaker 1: at the tender age of ten or twelve or thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I'm not really sure how old he is. I have

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Speaker 1: too many nieces and nephews to keep track, but he's

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Speaker 1: not ten. But yeah, we have there's a lot of quiet,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, we need action, you know, we need

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Speaker 1: action within the family, Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: I stumbled upon an architectural Digestive video of one of

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Speaker 4: your home tours, like your old house, and you're like,

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Speaker 4: really into design an architecture.

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Speaker 2: I'm into it. I like what I like?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I like, yes, I'm into it, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not like somebody you know, who's going.

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Speaker 2: To be designing their own furniture.

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Speaker 1: Although I did design my new house in a way, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm into design. I like very specific vibe when I

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Speaker 1: go somewhere and when I live somewhere. So yes, I'm

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Speaker 1: into soft contemporary, like I like modern.

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Speaker 2: I do not like traditional. That's not my vibe.

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Speaker 1: Although my new house is kind of traditional. It is traditional,

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Speaker 1: but we modernized it. So it's like it was white

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Speaker 1: and we painted it all black. My designer kept trying

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Speaker 1: to take me back down traditional fixtures, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's just not the way that I like things I

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Speaker 1: don't like.

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Speaker 2: How do I say, like, how can I describe boring?

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Speaker 1: No, it's not boring because it's really nicely done in

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Speaker 1: certain people's homes.

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Speaker 2: It's just not my style. Like, I don't want it

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Speaker 2: to feel family.

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Speaker 1: I want it to feel a bachelorette pad, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Like, I don't want it to feel like.

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Speaker 1: Okay, everybody gather around the dinner table. It's like, I

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Speaker 1: don't sit at the fucking dinner table, you know. So

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Speaker 1: that's not in the main feature in my house, the

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Speaker 1: dining room. And I like it casual, but you know,

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Speaker 1: nice stuff.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And it seems like you like communal in a

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Speaker 4: way of you like to entertain and I like openness.

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Speaker 2: I like everything to be open. I like lots of glass.

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Speaker 1: I like a lot of black borders, you know, like

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Speaker 1: the stain the chrome, the stainless steel glass borders, glass

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Speaker 1: windows that have the black trim.

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Speaker 2: I love that, yes, but I need it to be sexy. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Do you think it's going to be done by the

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Speaker 4: time you come back when I'm homeless now?

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Speaker 1: So I mean I'm just basically, I'm like on the lamb.

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Speaker 1: I haven't had a home yet. It's supposed to be

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Speaker 1: done in September. I'll be in my Raca for the

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Speaker 1: month of September. After this, I go to Myorca after

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Speaker 1: my show in the Hamptons, and then I come back

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Speaker 1: and I do on my fall dates. So if you

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Speaker 1: haven't gotten tickets to shows in Columbus or Cincinnati or

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Speaker 1: New York or d C or any of these fun

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Speaker 1: places that I'm going get them.

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Speaker 2: And I'm really looking forward to getting back on tour.

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Speaker 1: It's so nice to do my stand up for three

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Speaker 1: months and then take a three month break and go

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Speaker 1: back to it. It's the best way to do stand

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Speaker 1: up so that you never for me, so I don't

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Speaker 1: get sick.

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Speaker 2: Of my own material.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I can imagine you could burn out

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Speaker 4: because you're so busy and it's like so draining to

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Speaker 4: be traveling all the time at least.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but now I'm on vacation. I've been on vacation

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Speaker 1: for so long. My life has been so luscious. I'm

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Speaker 1: so grateful.

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Speaker 3: Awesome.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So our guest today is a personal friend of mine.

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Speaker 2: I love and adore this girl. I shouldn't say girl.

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Speaker 1: She's a woman, but to me, she's a girl because

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Speaker 1: I'm so much older than her. She's a Grammy nominee

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Speaker 1: and as CMA Award winning Pop Country Artist, and an

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Speaker 1: extended version of her new album Rolling Up the Welcome

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Speaker 1: Matt came out this week. Please welcome Kelsey Ballerini. Oh

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Speaker 1: oh oh, there's my chequita banana, chaquita banana. Hi friend,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, welcome home from that vacation.

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Speaker 5: Thank you, it was a nice little break.

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Speaker 2: Tell us about your vacation with Kenny Chesney.

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Speaker 1: If you didn't have your new boyfriend there, I would

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Speaker 1: have thought you and Kenny had become a couple.

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Speaker 3: FYI, that was a hot take.

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Speaker 6: For a minute. That was not true.

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Speaker 5: Kenny's He's become my brother, which sounds insane, but I'm

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Speaker 5: from Knoxville. He's from Knoxville, and I grew up listening

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Speaker 5: to him. So I had a song about my hometown

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Speaker 5: a couple of years ago, called half of My Hometown,

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Speaker 5: and I just like out of the blue Caldon.

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Speaker 6: I was like, will you be on the song?

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Speaker 5: He said yes, And just through that we became really

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Speaker 5: good friends and then I toured with him this last

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Speaker 5: summer and we just became family. And so he took

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Speaker 5: me to his house, which house.

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Speaker 6: Isn't even the right word.

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Speaker 5: It's just like he owns like a full mountain range.

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Speaker 2: Mountain is wild. This is Captain.

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Speaker 1: By the way, my co host, so Kelsey and I

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Speaker 1: became friends because our name's Rhyme, and that was what

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Speaker 1: brought us together. Off the topic, I wanted to ask

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Speaker 1: you something about the country music industry because every time

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Speaker 1: I go to Nashville, I actually performed in your hometown

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Speaker 1: recently Knoxville, and it was the most fun ever.

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Speaker 2: I mean, all the cities in Tennessee, I had the

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Speaker 2: best time. I went to Dollywood, I performed at Graceland.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I was getting the

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Speaker 1: full Tennessee treatment. I was like, oh my god, if

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Speaker 1: I go to Tennessee and come out of this alive,

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Speaker 1: it'll be a miracle.

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Speaker 2: And then I did and they were the best audiences.

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Speaker 1: Like I just every time I go to a community

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Speaker 1: or a part of the country that I think is

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Speaker 1: going to be like, you know, resistant I end up

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Speaker 1: having the best shows.

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Speaker 6: That makes me so happy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Well, so I guess my question is, so every

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Speaker 1: time I go to Nashville, which is you know, usually

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Speaker 1: I warm up my tour there.

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Speaker 2: I always go to Zanies Nashville.

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Speaker 1: And the music community just shows up and droves to

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Speaker 1: my shows. And it's so sweet because I don't know

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Speaker 1: all of these people, but I know some of them,

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Speaker 1: and I want to know, Like, I know you have

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Speaker 1: a lot of friendships within the music community, but if

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Speaker 1: it feels like a much more supportive community, then, say,

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Speaker 1: Hollywood and actors and actresses, what do you think about

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Speaker 1: the support that you get from other country stars? Would

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Speaker 1: you say that that's kind of the attitude across the

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Speaker 1: board or what.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, there's a lot of camaraderie.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like the last few years, just

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Speaker 5: like every other part of pop culture, there's definitely been

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Speaker 5: more division. People kind of pick teams and sides on things,

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Speaker 5: and you've seen that in.

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Speaker 6: Country for sure.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, I mean, like I look back, I've put

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Speaker 5: out my first thing, Old Radio nine years ago, and

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Speaker 5: kind of the biggest turning points of my career have

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Speaker 5: been mostly the women, some men, mostly the women that

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Speaker 5: I grew up on turning around and either reaching out

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Speaker 5: their hand and being like, hey, come share my stage

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Speaker 5: with me, or calling me out of the blue and

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Speaker 5: being like, what do you need, how are you steeling?

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Speaker 5: Let me give you advice, And that to me is

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Speaker 5: the most telling part of the country music that I

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Speaker 5: grew up on. That I was like, I stars in

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Speaker 5: my eyes. I want to be part of that. It

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Speaker 5: was the warmth in the community that I felt when

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Speaker 5: I was listening on the radio, and that has translated

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Speaker 5: to me. I mean there's still like competitive energy.

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Speaker 2: I think there has to be listen to be successful,

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Speaker 2: you have to be competitive.

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Speaker 1: That's just the way it is. And it's really nothing

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Speaker 1: actually to be ashamed about. It's actually part of the motivation.

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Speaker 1: It's when you're jealous or envious and you let that

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Speaker 1: come out more so than being just healthy competition.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had to learn that too, just

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Speaker 5: especially as a woman in entertainment, especially country music. There's

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Speaker 5: such a deficit of space, I guess for us historically,

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Speaker 5: and so yeah, I've really had to retrain my brain

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Speaker 5: to go, am I feeling competitive with myself or in

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Speaker 5: a healthy manner with kind of where I'm matt in

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Speaker 5: my career and in the game, Or am I feeling

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Speaker 5: jealous because you know, historically there's only been three spots,

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Speaker 5: and there's thirty of us and we all deserve it.

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Speaker 5: So like I'm having to like undo a lot of

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Speaker 5: the things that I've sent in the last ten years

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Speaker 5: feeling really.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's also something to remember that it is

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Speaker 1: like a human It's a totally natural human emotion.

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Speaker 2: It's what you do with it.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 1: You can use it as a motivator, or you can

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Speaker 1: use it as a divider. And it's like, oh, the

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Speaker 1: people that learn that quick more quickly, you're better off

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Speaker 1: because you can get consumed by another person's success if

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Speaker 1: you're not where you want to be.

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Speaker 5: For sure, I had seasons of that too, but I

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Speaker 5: don't know, I feel like I've just recalibrated in my

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Speaker 5: life the last three years really, and I feel like

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Speaker 5: I got to kind of shed that skin because I

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Speaker 5: still I've pent a lot of that on my youth,

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Speaker 5: and I feel like the last few years I shed

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Speaker 5: that skin.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The last time we saw each other in person, you

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Speaker 1: and I were both broken up with our significant others,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't tell each other because coming on we

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Speaker 1: were both You're like, how's Joe, And I was like great,

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Speaker 1: Meanwhile we were broken up because I was hosting guests,

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Speaker 1: hosting Jimmy kimble This was almost a year ago, and

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Speaker 1: Kelsey was on and I was like, how's yours and

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Speaker 1: she was like great, and we both were just like

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Speaker 1: we just couldn't even tell each other because it wasn't

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Speaker 1: public on my end and it wasn't public.

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Speaker 2: On her end.

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Speaker 1: And now we're a year out and you're in a

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Speaker 1: new relationship with your adorable boyfriend Chase, and you seem

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Speaker 1: happy as a pig and shit, So I want to

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Speaker 1: say I'm happy for you, and I want to ask you,

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Speaker 1: what is it about this relationship that is making you

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Speaker 1: so abuliant?

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, Well, I was wondering if you were

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Speaker 5: going to bring that up, because we haven't talked about it,

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Speaker 5: but I think about that often because like I would

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Speaker 5: consider as friends, like we've offline, we've hung out, you

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Speaker 5: and I, And it was so funny to me that

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Speaker 5: we both went into our public personas.

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Speaker 2: To give it context. We weren't hanging out alone.

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Speaker 1: I had Kelsey on as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel,

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Speaker 1: and yes, Joe and I literally had broken up like

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Speaker 1: the night before I started guest. So I wasn't telling

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Speaker 1: anyone really except because I was like, I was just

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Speaker 1: still just trying to focus on the job at hand,

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Speaker 1: and you and we were backstage, and it was a moment.

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Speaker 1: If you and I had been to dinner or something,

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Speaker 1: we I'm sure we would have been a little bit

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Speaker 1: more honest, but yeah, we went into pure Hollywood bode.

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Speaker 1: I don't want my thing that week was I didn't

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Speaker 1: want anyone at on staff to know that I had

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Speaker 1: broken up with Joe because I didn't want them to

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Speaker 1: feel like I needed special It's.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want I just I work best when I'm

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Speaker 1: under pressure and I have to hide something.

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Speaker 3: Both.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I you know, to be honest with you, I

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Speaker 5: don't even think I think I was still kind of

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Speaker 5: in my turmoil, like I hadn't even gotten to the

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Speaker 5: place of like hitting the breaking point yet, but I'd say, yeah,

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Speaker 5: my life's a lot different than last.

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Speaker 6: Time we hung and thank god. I just feel.

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Speaker 5: Like making that decision for my life was really daunting

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Speaker 5: and scared for a lot of reasons. My parents got

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Speaker 5: divorced when I was twelve, and I'm an only child,

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Speaker 5: and navigating that was traumatic, and then also like growing

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Speaker 5: up in the South, growing up super religious, all these things,

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Speaker 5: being in a relationship with another public person in my industry,

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Speaker 5: like all these things were telling me like just figure

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Speaker 5: it out, stay.

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Speaker 6: Where you're at.

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Speaker 5: But everything in my heart and soul and body was

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Speaker 5: like this isn't it.

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Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, good for you for following through on

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Speaker 2: what you need.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and you're very young to be able to

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Speaker 1: even make that, especially being in the spotlight, Like it

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Speaker 1: adds a whole dimension of pressure.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you and I have spoken about it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, just you know, I'm always telling her

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Speaker 1: now that I'm older, like be yourself, Like you're only

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Speaker 1: going to get rewarded for being yourself. I was saying

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Speaker 1: this to Drew Barry more recently because I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you saw her New York magazine cover, but like she's,

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Speaker 1: you know, the talk show. She's finally being rewarded after

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Speaker 1: probably so many notes and so many people telling her

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Speaker 1: how to do it, how to behave, how to be

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Speaker 1: less of herself on TV, and guess what, the only

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Speaker 1: thing that works is to be yourself.

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Speaker 2: Drew does want to sit on your lap and touch

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Speaker 2: your eyeballs. That's who she is.

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Speaker 1: And so now the fact that the whole world gets

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Speaker 1: to see her shine because of her effervescence and because

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Speaker 1: of truly like her personality is so much more meaningful

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Speaker 1: than succeeding in somebody else's shoes that you're pretending are

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Speaker 1: your own.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's the I kept going back to the

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Speaker 5: quote the right thing and the hard thing, or usually

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Speaker 5: the same thing. And so when you honor yourself and

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Speaker 5: you do the hard thing, that is the right thing.

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Speaker 6: I mean, my God, I.

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Speaker 5: Could tell you a million stories just in the last

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Speaker 5: eight nine months of just life, God, in the universe,

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Speaker 5: whatever you believe in rewarding me and making it very obvious,

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Speaker 5: and it's just been great and I'm super happy.

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Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. Can you share one

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Speaker 2: of those stories with us? Oh?

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Speaker 5: God, yeah, this is my favorite. So I lived a

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Speaker 5: couple of years ago in Covidhead. I was downtown in

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Speaker 5: this area of Nashville called the Gulch.

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Speaker 6: It's like right between Music Grow and Broadway.

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Speaker 5: And it was nice because I was throwing all the time,

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Speaker 5: My ex was throwing all the time, and.

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Speaker 6: It was easy to just shut the door and leave it.

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Speaker 6: But then COVID happened and it.

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Speaker 5: Was like a ghost town and felt apocalyptic and I

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Speaker 5: have a dog. I was like, it's time for some

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Speaker 5: green a need dr so started looking for a house.

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Speaker 5: And I'm such a gut girl. I will follow my

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Speaker 5: gut into the depths of the universe. I don't care

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Speaker 5: if I'm wrong. I just I believe in trusting it.

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Speaker 5: And I found this house and before I walked from

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Speaker 5: the door, I was like, this is the house. This

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Speaker 5: is the house, and long story very short, didn't get

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Speaker 5: the house, bought a house point nine miles down the road,

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Speaker 5: and another artist who was going through a big life

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Speaker 5: change bought the house.

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Speaker 6: So in fast forward two years.

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Speaker 5: I been having you know, I'm going through divorce and

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Speaker 5: I just could texted this artist and I was like,

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Speaker 5: I don't know if you ever knew it was me

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Speaker 5: bitting against you, but it was. And I've always loved

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Speaker 5: this place. If you ever thought about selling it, would

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Speaker 5: you let me? Now? Two weeks later, I found my

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Speaker 5: dream home. Are you serious about the house? And long

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Speaker 5: story short, it's my house now?

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Speaker 2: Oh oh ah? I love that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it was just like it wasn't meant to be mine.

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Speaker 5: Then it was meant to be mine now in like

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Speaker 5: this new chapter. So just like stuff like that over

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Speaker 5: and over again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's always interesting when you like look at timing

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Speaker 1: of things, right it doesn't work out the way you

359
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Speaker 1: want it to, or what's that saying? Like God doesn't

360
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Speaker 1: come when you want him to, but he comes just

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Speaker 1: in time. I mean, I don't really subscribe to the God,

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Speaker 1: but I understand that. It's like the universes does have

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Speaker 1: your back, Like things are working in your favor the

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Speaker 1: way in ways that are unseen and that will never understand.

365
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Speaker 1: You just have to trust it, like you have to

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Speaker 1: trust in it right, which is a big leap sometimes.

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Speaker 1: And I know that this, your most recent album, is

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Speaker 1: a testament to that because I know you've had like

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Speaker 1: experiences where you've been kind of directed about what kind

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Speaker 1: of music you should be putting out versus exactly authentically

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Speaker 1: what you want to say, and your breakup and everything

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Speaker 1: that's happened in your life led you to want to say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is what I want to put out, And now

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Speaker 1: you're being celebrated for your music for that very reason

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's the same thing you were just talking about

377
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 5: with Drew. You know, I've always tried to be a

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Speaker 5: commercial country artist, but I also like, I grew up

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Speaker 5: on a farm in East Tennessee, but my first concert

380
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,400
Speaker 5: was Britney Spears, and so I'm like, well, how do

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Speaker 5: I do this? Because I want to write music that

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Speaker 5: feels good to me and I think it's country, some

383
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Speaker 5: people don't, whatever, But I always wanted to fit in

384
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Speaker 5: a lane which is a country artist.

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Speaker 2: And I do.

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Speaker 5: I always will ding my heels in here, but I

387
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Speaker 5: would write with people that would kind of keep me

388
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Speaker 5: in the lines, you know, and that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 6: And then this last project rolling up.

390
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Speaker 5: To welcome Matt, it had nothing to do. It doesn't

391
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Speaker 5: even count on my record deal, it doesn't count towards

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Speaker 5: my label. It was truly just a me project for therapy,

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Speaker 5: and it's been the most successful thing I've ever put out,

394
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Speaker 5: and so it's caused me to recalibrate in such a

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Speaker 5: major way of like my artistry, the way I share

396
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Speaker 5: what I want to share with the world, all of it.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, man, I need to care less about

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Speaker 5: what it sounds like, if it rhymes correctly, all the

399
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Speaker 5: things that I've told myself that make the craft good

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Speaker 5: and just write the truth more.

401
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Speaker 2: What do you mean it doesn't count towards your record deal?

402
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:11,680
Speaker 2: Like is it?

403
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,960
Speaker 1: I mean it's under the same label, right, but it

404
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 1: doesn't count about what in terms of what you owe them?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,119
Speaker 2: Yeah?

407
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 1: Like it's an extra that you just did ex Yeah yeah,

408
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 1: cofy of that just in case I want to get

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Speaker 1: into the music industry. Everybody, I know everybody's waiting for

410
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 1: me to come out without a country rap album because

411
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Speaker 1: I can just see it now. So can you tell

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00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,199
Speaker 1: me about some of the things about Chase that make

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00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 1: you so happy to be in this relationship or the

414
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,199
Speaker 1: things that he brings out in you?

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Speaker 5: Mmm, I feel silly again, And that probably sounds stupid,

416
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Speaker 5: but it's like not hard to find the heaviness in life.

417
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 5: It's really hard to find the play. It's really hard

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Speaker 5: to find like the things that bring you back to

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00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 5: like your childlike self, that make you google and like

420
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 5: feels silly and I feel like I get to be silly.

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Speaker 5: And I've had that in my friendships and my female

422
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 5: friendships for years and they've always kind of been my

423
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,639
Speaker 5: refuge when I don't feel that in my whole life.

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00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 5: But I have that very much. So with him, and

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00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 5: that's been really, really beautiful to reconnect to that part

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00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 5: of my relationship. I mean, I could tell you in

427
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Speaker 5: Milia's stories he's the best. We we talked for a

428
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 5: month and then we met and as soon as we met,

429
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Speaker 5: it was like we were in it. And the second

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Speaker 5: time we ever hung out, he asked me to be

431
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Speaker 5: his date to a wedding in Charleston, and I was like,

432
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Speaker 5: fair enough, I guess we'll figure out really quick if

433
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 5: we travel well together, if I like your friends, like

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Speaker 5: all these things.

435
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Speaker 2: I was in.

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Speaker 5: Nashville, he was in LA and I had sent him

437
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,400
Speaker 5: rolling at the walcome out before it came out, because

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Speaker 5: I'm like, you're gonna ask about this, so here you go.

439
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,439
Speaker 5: And he messaged me and he was like, hey, I

440
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,480
Speaker 5: was thinking maybe I could I could fly to Nashville

441
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 5: before Charleston. That way you don't to fly by yourself.

442
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,399
Speaker 5: And I know, like your dog means a lot to you,

443
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 5: and I know you just gott in your new house

444
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 5: that you really love. I'd love to meet your dog

445
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 5: and whoever else you want me to and then we

446
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 5: can find together that way, like you don't have to

447
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 5: plan it, you don't have to think about it from

448
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 5: context clues.

449
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 2: I'm attracted to him now I know.

450
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 5: And he's hot and he's nice and he loves his mom.

451
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's very cute. That's cute, you know, That's

452
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's nice to be pursued in that way.

453
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: Also as a woman, you know, like everyone knows people

454
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: constantly are now like I'm hearing these arguments from my friends,

455
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,120
Speaker 1: but going on dates about like chivalry and men are like, well,

456
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 1: we'll just split the check, you know, now that women

457
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,199
Speaker 1: want equal rights, It's like wait, wait what what Like

458
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 1: there's still dating and courting, and like, come on, you

459
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,880
Speaker 1: would do that in a same sex relationship, somebody would

460
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 1: take the lead, Like it doesn't have anything.

461
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 2: To do with that. Don't take that shit away.

462
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 1: Like how hot is it to be on a date

463
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 1: and somebody say let's split the check? It's like, no,

464
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 1: fuck you asshole, Like I mean, yeah, if I'm on

465
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 1: a date with somebody who actually that's not true because

466
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,360
Speaker 1: I sometimes pick up the check before the man could

467
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:58,679
Speaker 1: get it.

468
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 2: But no, I wouldn't do it all date situation.

469
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 5: Not usually when you just want to get out of there, yes, exactly.

470
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,439
Speaker 1: When they're like, oh, where's the chuck im, I got it,

471
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 1: let's go. Yeah, I made up. I did that in

472
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,199
Speaker 1: New York recently, I was on a date and I

473
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: was like, no, this is no longer a date.

474
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 2: And the check was taking the card down, yeah right away. Yeah.

475
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: I feel like one of the most important milestones was

476
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 1: literally having like my mom and my father tell me seriously,

477
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: like how impressed they were with my drive and my success.

478
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: And I feel like that is one of those seminal

479
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 1: moments when you do make it and you start to

480
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,479
Speaker 1: really feel the success, to hear it from the people

481
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,159
Speaker 1: that raised you.

482
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 2: What do your parents have to say about your success.

483
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 5: It's interesting because my parents are really different. My mom

484
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 5: moved me to Nashville when I was fifteen to pursue music,

485
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 5: which was like her uprooting her life, her friends, all

486
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 5: that to get me here. My dad's still in Knoxville,

487
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 5: so my mom was she's walked much closer with me,

488
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 5: you know, this whole journey. She used to like drop

489
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 5: me off at meetings or co writes or whatever. So

490
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 5: my dad's farther removed from like the intricacies of this

491
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 5: whole thing, but he sees the big moments where my

492
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 5: Mom's kind of seen the whole thing, and I invite

493
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 5: them to different things, mainly for my own mental health.

494
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 5: I can't handle them in the same room. And so

495
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,199
Speaker 5: I think because we're both I would say workhorses. Like

496
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 5: I like to be head down and go all the time.

497
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 5: There are not many moments that made me slow down

498
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,439
Speaker 5: and look up, but a lot of the ones that

499
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 5: have are because my mom or my dad are in

500
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,239
Speaker 5: Rome and I know that they're watching it.

501
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

502
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 5: One was when I got inducted into the Grand Ole Opry.

503
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 5: I was like the newest member, the youngest member, and

504
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 5: my mom was there and I just knew. She bought

505
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 5: me tickets for Christmas one year when we still lived

506
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 5: in Knoxville to go to the Grand Ole Opry one year,

507
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 5: you know, like that full Ceverle moment I was like.

508
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 5: To be able to share that with her made me

509
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 5: look up. Being able to go back to my hometown

510
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 5: where my sweet dad was like, yeah, go you're fifteen,

511
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 5: but I get it. Go and play a hometown show

512
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 5: and like have him be there and like walk around

513
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 5: like the mayor because he was so proud.

514
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 6: Like that was the moment and then.

515
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 5: Me look up. So I definitely feel like the big

516
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 5: pillar moments so far have had him in the room.

517
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's much more meaningful when you have somebody in

518
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: the audience. I know you don't have siblings. I have

519
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 1: so many, So those moments happen a lot. But it's

520
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: nice to know, like when you have someone special at

521
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 1: the show, like that you're performing for them, you know,

522
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: like you're like, look, look I peek.

523
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 5: Mok so big, especially when my friends are there, Like

524
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,640
Speaker 5: I have like just a group of girlfriends that I'm

525
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 5: so right or die for, and when one of them

526
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 5: come out to a show, I mean I strut a

527
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 5: little stronger.

528
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 2: Totally. That's so true.

529
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be

530
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: right back and we're gonna take some callers. Okay, I'm ready,

531
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: So put your.

532
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 2: Therapy hat on. Girl, it's coming and we're back. We're

533
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 2: back so quick.

534
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:01,959
Speaker 5: Lucky us.

535
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 4: Well, our first question comes from Harriet. She's not on

536
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 4: the phone, this is just an email. Harriet says, Dear Chelsea, Basically,

537
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 4: my father's dating a woman who's married and has a

538
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 4: whole other life in another province.

539
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 2: Province that means Canada.

540
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 4: My father is aware and they've been together for about

541
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 4: six years.

542
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: Obviously the father's aware if she has a family.

543
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 4: If you're aware, the father's aware, I don't respect it.

544
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 4: But I am a person who works very hard to

545
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 4: keep the peace. I recently got engaged to my partner

546
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 4: of ten years, and his family is very religious. My

547
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 4: family is the opposite. I do not want my dad

548
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 4: bringing his quote unquote girlfriend to my wedding. My partner's

549
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 4: family is very interested in others' lives and ask a

550
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 4: lot of questions to people they meet, so I know

551
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 4: they'll ask about her life. My mom is remarried and

552
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 4: obviously will be bringing her new husband. My dad is

553
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 4: very sensitive, so I know he won't want to be alone.

554
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 4: But he's also very social and has many friends who

555
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 4: could attend with him. Basically, how can I keep the peace,

556
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 4: get my dad's girlfriend not to attend and not make

557
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 4: anyone feel bad?

558
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 3: Please help Harriet.

559
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 2: First of all, your dad's girlfriend should not attend.

560
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 1: No, Matt, She's married with a family, and that's all

561
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,199
Speaker 1: you have to say to him. That is not acceptable

562
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 1: to be flaunting in front of a whole group of people.

563
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 5: I think if just one person that's acceptable to offend

564
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,119
Speaker 5: it would be your dad on this one. You got

565
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,479
Speaker 5: to throw a boundary down. It's your day. Don't avenge

566
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 5: yourself and don't avend your partner.

567
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 6: It's your moment.

568
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 5: You're going into a new chapter of real life. You

569
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 5: can't you can't bring that in. That's fine.

570
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: And also I know it seems like there's billions of

571
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: people in the world, which they are, but like when

572
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 1: you're dealing with communities like that, him bringing his girlfriend,

573
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: everyone is gonna find out at some point that she's

574
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: married to someone else. There could be a chance that

575
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 1: somebody at the wedding knows her.

576
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 2: And that what the fuck are you gonna do?

577
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 1: You don't even know every single person who's probably coming

578
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: to the wedding, who's bringing a place You don't know

579
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 1: one person, You don't know if every person doesn't know

580
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: this woman or won't connect the dots or won't figure

581
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: it out, like it's too dangerous of a situation and

582
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: all you have to do is position it to your

583
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: father as first of all, this is something that I

584
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: don't want overshadowing my special day.

585
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 2: I don't want your affair that is illicit, she's married

586
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 2: to another person.

587
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: I don't support that Obviously I want to keep the peace,

588
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: but this is my day and I need you to

589
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: respect it.

590
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: And that's it. Like he can't argue with you about

591
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 2: your wedding day.

592
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 5: And if he doesn't really respond to that, this might

593
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 5: be going for the jugular, but also saying you clearly

594
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 5: don't respect the boundaries of a marriage. You clearly don't

595
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 5: respect what that means. So why would I want that

596
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 5: energy in that room when I'm trying to.

597
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: Start that great, great point exactly boom yeah.

598
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 4: And I think even be specific about which one of

599
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 4: your dad's friends you would want to attend with him,

600
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 4: Like I love you know, quote unquote uncle Larry whatever.

601
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 4: Why don't you bring him? That would be you know,

602
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 4: he'd be great to have at the wedding. He's not

603
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 4: already invited whatever, and he'll.

604
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 2: Have plenty to do.

605
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 1: He's the father of the bride, Like, he's gonna have

606
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,400
Speaker 1: plenty of people to interact with. And you know it's

607
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: not your this is your day. Do not forget that

608
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: this is the only day you get. Don't let it

609
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 1: be besmirched by something like Tawdrey like that. You know,

610
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: if he wants to have an affair with a married woman. Fine, great,

611
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 1: but not at your wedding, agreed.

612
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 4: Our next question comes from Jessica. Jessica says, Dear Chelsea,

613
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 4: I'm not sure if I need your advice or if

614
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 4: I just need to be talked off the ledge. I

615
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 4: just ended my six year relationship. It was one of

616
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 4: the healthiest breakups I've ever had. We entered the relationship

617
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 4: knowing that I don't want to have kids, and he

618
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 4: is the fifth generation in his family, so he has

619
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 4: decided that he needs to have a son at some

620
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 4: point in his life. Since ending the relationship, I've found

621
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 4: the perfect place to live, started a new job I love,

622
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 4: and I've grown closer to my friends and family. I

623
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,680
Speaker 4: feel so free, and I know us breaking up was

624
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 4: the right decision. Now here's the problem. We haven't even

625
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 4: been broken up for two months, and he's apparently dating

626
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 4: someone new and someone I know. I found out because

627
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 4: the girl he's dating posted a piece of furniture from

628
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 4: his house on Facebook marketplace for sale. Eventually, one of

629
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 4: our mutual friends admitted that they are in fact dating

630
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 4: and it seems like they'll be moving in together very soon.

631
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 4: Am I crazy to feel like I'm boiling over with

632
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 4: rage about this. I don't really feel like I'm jealous,

633
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 4: just pissed off. We've known this girl for a long time,

634
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 4: and it feels like she was waiting for the second

635
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 4: we broke up to pounce on him and move into

636
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 4: the house we lived in together. Do I even have

637
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 4: a right to be mad about this? I want to

638
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 4: act like I don't care so badly, but it's hard.

639
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 4: We have a lot of mutual friends, and I know

640
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 4: i'll see him soon, and I do have a temper

641
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 4: and honestly don't really like holding my feelings back. I'm

642
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 4: concerned that when I see him, I might freak out

643
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 4: or at least throw around a snide remark or two.

644
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 4: Even though it didn't work out between us, I really

645
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 4: did love him, and with him moving on so fast,

646
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 4: it makes me feel insecure about how he felt about me.

647
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 4: How should I control myself when I inevitably run into him.

648
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 4: I'm ready for any stage wisdom you're willing to give.

649
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 4: Thanks Jessica.

650
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,359
Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, Well, luckily I've been through this exact same situation.

651
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 2: Hi Jessica, Hi, how's it going?

652
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 5: Hi?

653
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: Keatie.

654
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 1: This is Kelsey Vallerini, our special guest today, amazing him.

655
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 5: Great to be eat both of you all.

656
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 2: Hi, that's so annoying.

657
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: First of all, it's so fucking annoying to spend six

658
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,160
Speaker 1: years with somebody and then find out that two weeks

659
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: later that they're.

660
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 2: Dating somebody else. Was it two weeks or two months?

661
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 7: It was two months, but they basically started dating right after.

662
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 7: I just found out two months later, so like it

663
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 7: pretty much was I media. I just found out a

664
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 7: little bit later. So it's lovely.

665
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, this exact situation happened to me, not exactly,

666
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 1: but very similar. I dated somebody for four years. I

667
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 1: broke up with them, and two weeks later they were

668
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 1: moving in with someone else. So I understand exactly how

669
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: you feel. And good fucking riddance, because that is not

670
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: the person for you. That says everything you need to

671
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: know about that person, everything you need to know. And

672
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: as you said in your letter, you knew you made

673
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: the right decision.

674
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 2: You're in a new place. Don't let his weakness throw

675
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: you off kilter.

676
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,719
Speaker 1: Now you have the full picture of the fact that

677
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: the decision you made was absolutely the right decision. Just

678
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: him being with someone, and of course there are feelings

679
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: and if you want to make a snide remark, fucking

680
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: go ahead.

681
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 2: Who gets a shit about that? You know what I mean?

682
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: It is silly, but he would take a lot of

683
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: pleasure in you being jealous about it.

684
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: So remember that.

685
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,479
Speaker 1: You know, if you let him, if you let him

686
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: see your jealousy, then he'll be like, oh, yeah, I

687
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: got her.

688
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 2: So it's up to you. But I mean, you absolutely

689
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 2: made the.

690
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 1: Right decision in every way, right Kelsey, don't you agree?

691
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

692
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 5: The whole there was so much positive affirmation in the

693
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 5: beginning of that letter. I was like, there's no advice here,

694
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 5: and then I was like, Oh, my question is.

695
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 6: Are you close with the girl still?

696
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 5: So I was never really good friends with her.

697
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 7: They actually I know her through mutual friends, and then

698
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 7: he started hanging out with like another friend group towards

699
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 7: the end of our relationship, and she's in that friend

700
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 7: group right. So honestly, when we first started dating six

701
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 7: years ago, they were kind of hanging out, and I

702
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 7: think he kind of stopped talking to her then was

703
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 7: dating me.

704
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 5: So he's always been a little questionionable.

705
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 7: It just is unfortunate that we spent that much time

706
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 7: together and now he's dating the same girl.

707
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 5: Or like she was hanging out. I just feel really

708
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 5: weird about it all, so I don't know, well.

709
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:33,959
Speaker 6: Her feelings are valid.

710
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 5: I would just say, like find a safe friend and

711
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 5: or scream into a pillow, because that is annoying. That's

712
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 5: super annoying and like low key a little bit shady.

713
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 5: But yeah, what Chel said, like, it's you're exactly where

714
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 5: you need to be, thank God, like to be with

715
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 5: someone for six years and.

716
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 6: Move on in two weeks. There was a disconnect. There

717
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 6: was a bigger disconnect that happened.

718
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 5: And the first page and a half of your letter

719
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 5: said that you are happier where you are now. So

720
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 5: just screaming to a pellow, talk to a friend, and

721
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 5: then stand in the place that you're at right now.

722
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you see them, you know what would

723
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: really even drive him more mad is to be happy

724
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: for them to go. I'm so happy that you guys

725
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: found each other. I'm glad to hear that you're together,

726
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: even though it's a lie and you don't feel that way.

727
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: That takes all of the emotion out of it, and

728
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: you're gonna walk away feeling so fucking good about yourself,

729
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: better than if you make a snide remark. You're gonna

730
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 1: feel empowered. You know, you're going to tell your friends

731
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: the truth, but he wants you to be upset. You

732
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: you know, you left him because you didn't want to

733
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: have a child, so obviously he can't be alone. This

734
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 1: is so many men cannot fucking be alone and they

735
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: can't even be a part, whereas women, we're alone and

736
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 1: we're so happy, we're like, oh, thank god, we have

737
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: this minute to breathe, and men are just kind of

738
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: weak like that, and like, if anything, it's like, I

739
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: know it hurts your feelings, but it won't for very long.

740
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: I promise you're already like past the bad part of

741
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: your breakup and all of that. You're not gonna be

742
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: upset for a while, and it will be empowering for

743
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: you to just when you're able to see.

744
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 2: Them, kind of give them your blessing.

745
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 7: I'm glad you said that, because I've been battling, like

746
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 7: I have a feeling I'm going to see them. Florida

747
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 7: is weird and small, so it's like I know I'm

748
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 7: going to bump into them at some point, and I

749
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 7: go back and forth like I want to have a

750
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 7: confrontational moment just to be like, this is really disrespectful

751
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 7: to me as a person, right, But I do want

752
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 7: to kind of just continue on because I'm not upset,

753
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 7: like you said, I'm not like sad the relationships over.

754
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 7: I know, we ended it because I didn't want a

755
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 7: family and that's apparently the only thing he needs in life.

756
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he doesn't want to be alone, so he

757
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 1: needs a family.

758
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 5: Yeah. So I think you're right, I just need to

759
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 5: kind of like move on.

760
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 7: It's so hard to hold that reaction in and that's

761
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 7: actually why I reached out, because I'm like, I know

762
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 7: you've been dealing with the reactivity, and I'm like, oh,

763
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 7: just take a breath. Don't acknowledge. It's probably the best

764
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 7: way to handle it. But it's hard sometimes it's.

765
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 2: Of course it's hard.

766
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: And thank you for not saying reactionary, because people keep

767
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: saying that, and that's a civil or reenactor. It's reactivity,

768
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: not reactionary like that. People don't understand what that board means.

769
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,239
Speaker 1: First of all, you should get out of Florida as

770
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 1: soon as possible. But in the meantime, like I think, listen,

771
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: I'm looking at your face and I'm looking at your vibe.

772
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: And your energy and your positive and your upbeat, like,

773
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: don't belittle yourself by even saying anything negative to them. Obviously,

774
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: talk to your friends and just deal with it on

775
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: your own. And when you have these feelings, one of

776
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: the most powerful things you can do is to sit

777
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: with negative feelings and let them work through your body

778
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: instead of trying to stuff them away or distract or deflect.

779
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,239
Speaker 1: If you literally sit and think about how ikey this is,

780
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: you will be amazed at how quickly that feeling goes

781
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: away ton and yeah, and then you know, I had

782
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: my friends say to me once like, do you want

783
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: to be on your highest like soul path or do

784
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: you want to be down? Like you can let people

785
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 1: take you down by reacting to their negative behavior, or you.

786
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: Can just be on a higher path and rise above it.

787
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: And actually, when you do interact with them, be you know,

788
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: be as nice and fake or whatever it takes to

789
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: make sure that they know that they didn't get you

790
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: or that he didn't hurt you in that way. And

791
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 1: I promise you when you because that's really the right

792
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 1: thing to do. Anyway, it doesn't matter, it's not your

793
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 1: business anymore. He's not your boyfriend. He doesn't have to

794
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: protect you in the breakup, so you wish you would.

795
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,839
Speaker 1: But anybody who gets together with somebody that quickly isn't

796
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: worried about protecting you. They're worried about themselves. So I

797
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: think you're going to be pleased with yourself if you

798
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: just get to your higher soul path, so to speak,

799
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: and just do the right thing, you know, and not

800
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,399
Speaker 1: be a cunt and just be cool.

801
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 3: I have to say, the petty part of me wants

802
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 3: to do both.

803
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 2: I don't.

804
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 1: It's so hard, but you have to understand it's an impulse.

805
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 1: That's an impulse when you want to say something to somebody.

806
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean it's right. It's just an impulse and

807
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: it feels good. But it doesn't feel as good as

808
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: taking the higher road.

809
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 2: And that's true. It doesn't last as long that feeling.

810
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can walk away and then say the petty

811
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 4: part to your friends afterwards.

812
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 7: It's really easy to be petty with him because I

813
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 7: don't know what's going on. But he like turn thirty

814
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 7: and then bought a mullet and dyed the tips of

815
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 7: the mullet blonde, and I just really truly don't know,

816
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 7: like what in the world is happening. So I'm happy

817
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 7: that's not the section of him I got, but it

818
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:12,280
Speaker 7: does make it a little bit easier.

819
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 5: It's bizarre. Onward and awards, baby, not the mullet with

820
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,240
Speaker 5: blonde tips.

821
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: No, no, no, not anymore, no more. No.

822
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 5: I know that's some real Florida shit, But it is happening.

823
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: How long?

824
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: But within what time frames did he'd get that mullet

825
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 1: and frosted tips after you broke up with him?

826
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 7: It was it was transitioning into a mullet towards the end,

827
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 7: and then we frosted the tips, like right when they

828
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 7: started dating.

829
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,720
Speaker 2: I think. Okay, so I really just to be happy

830
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: that this is over, you know what I mean.

831
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you judged so many bullets.

832
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you doudged a lot of bullets.

833
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 1: And just be happy that you're free, Be happy that

834
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: that's not you with him.

835
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,240
Speaker 2: Be happy.

836
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 5: I appreciate it. Yeah, that's great advice.

837
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 7: I definitely think, keep it inside, Let live their lives

838
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 7: and kind of move onward and upward, like you said,

839
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 7: so I appreciate it.

840
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 3: Okay, Thanks Jessica, thanks for calling.

841
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 5: Thanks so much. It's great to meet both of you. Hi,

842
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:11,760
Speaker 5: Da isn't.

843
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 2: It funny to see how happy people are when they

844
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 2: break up? She was just so happy.

845
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: And she's not even she's upset about this, but she's

846
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:19,800
Speaker 1: not really.

847
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: She was all.

848
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 4: She got the post break up glow. Well, our next

849
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 4: caller is Gina. She is calling in from Wisconsin, she

850
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 4: says to you, Chelsea. Two months ago, I quit my

851
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,959
Speaker 4: soul sucking job at a big four public accounting firm.

852
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 4: I felt so empowered by leaving, and I thought it

853
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 4: was a perfect time to do something. I truly love

854
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 4: architecture and design and exterior design. Not sure about you,

855
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 4: but I just about orgasm every time I skim my

856
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 4: architectural digest mags or scroll through the hundreds of design

857
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 4: accounts I follow on Instagram. I didn't pursue it in

858
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 4: college because I was afraid of risk of job and security,

859
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 4: sucking at it and ultimately not making any money. My

860
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 4: question lies between two different life paths. One getting a remote,

861
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 4: lonely accounting job that I may not see much growth

862
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 4: in as I don't plan to pursue the CPA like

863
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 4: my dad wants me to, but gives me flexibility to

864
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 4: travel or potentially buy an old home. I can fix

865
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 4: up myself, or staying in my hometown, getting a lower

866
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 4: paying accounting job and attending community college to get an

867
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 4: associate's degree in interior design. Although I've been looking at

868
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 4: programs to pursue elsewhere, I'm horrible at making decisions and

869
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 4: take everything into account to the point where I stay stagnant.

870
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 4: But I need to get a move on because I'm

871
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 4: twenty six and already started late. Recently, I've been living

872
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 4: by the lines of everything happens for a reason, and

873
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 4: you are where you're supposed to be. Yet here I

874
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 4: remain unemployed, living in the room I grow up in.

875
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 4: Would love your suggestions. Sincerely, Gina, Hi, Gena Dane, How

876
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 4: are you good?

877
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 2: This is Kelsey Ballerini. She's our guest today.

878
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 8: Hi. I know a song or two.

879
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: I think.

880
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 6: I bet you do your country Brett.

881
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 8: I Ah, I'm going line dancing tonight. So if you're

882
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 8: Nana sing what's your bro not?

883
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 5: I love that big Ye.

884
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:19,240
Speaker 2: What's the name of that single? The most recent single Kelsey.

885
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 5: If you go down on going down to Yeah?

886
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 2: Because I was hearing it on the radio and I

887
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: hadn't heard it before.

888
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 1: This was a few months ago and I was like,

889
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, it was so fucking good.

890
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:28,760
Speaker 2: I'm like that sounds like Kelsey.

891
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 6: Oh maybe I don't know.

892
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 2: It's hard to keep track anyway.

893
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 1: Okay, So to your problem excuse on set, I feel

894
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: very passionately about following your passion and whatever it is

895
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 1: that you are most passionate about. Twenty six years old

896
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 1: is nothing you have time to explore. And I don't

897
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: think staying in an accounting job that just gives you

898
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: the freedom to get a house you're gonna like and

899
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 1: fix that up.

900
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,439
Speaker 2: That sounds like like a B plan, not an A plan. Right.

901
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 8: Yeah, I've kind of just gone with when my parents

902
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 8: kind of expected of me.

903
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but don't do that.

904
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 3: That's not important.

905
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 8: I'm gonna make excuses, but I'm I don't want to

906
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 8: say I'm the pride enjoy a family, but it's like

907
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 8: I have to. I'm at this pedestal. It's like I

908
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 8: have to have that stable, steady job that you know,

909
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 8: is the nine to five sort of thing that's gonna

910
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 8: have the four on one k all this bullshit stuff.

911
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 8: It's not bullshit, but it's like it's what's expected. So

912
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 8: I have to be that person. I feel so my

913
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 8: mom said.

914
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 4: Just to clarify, is that more of an expectations thing

915
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,720
Speaker 4: or is it like you're actually providing for your folks

916
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 4: and your other siblings.

917
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 8: I guess it's the expectation. I don't know if it's

918
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 8: my purpose to be like their role model. I have

919
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 8: a twin sister, so like she's kind of doing whatever

920
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 8: she wants. I love how she's living, but.

921
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 1: I think you do love how she's living because you're

922
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: taking on the responsibility that she's not taking on as

923
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: the oldest she's polt it in me bye a minute. Three, Okay,

924
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: well listen, it is not your responsibility to fulfill your parents' dreams.

925
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: That's not why people have children. Even though people get

926
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 1: confused and it becomes very obfuscated, it is not your

927
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 1: reason for living to make your parents happy. They that's

928
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: what their life is for. You know, you have to

929
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: search for your happiness because I have to tell you,

930
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: when you really are true to who you are, the rewards,

931
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 1: it's abundance, like rewards come your way when you follow

932
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: your true dreams. I mean, look, Kelsey and I were

933
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: just talking about this. You know, she's doing everything she

934
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: wants to be doing, and you're probably happier than you've

935
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: ever been Kelsey, Right.

936
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I did have to make the decision to

937
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 5: not do what was expected of me. And I think

938
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 5: two things. I think I really would love to believe

939
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 5: in my heart arts that your parents just actually want

940
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 5: you to be happy.

941
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 6: And I think they've probably.

942
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 5: Projected what they've known to be sustainable to them in

943
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 5: their life onto you. That doesn't have to be what

944
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 5: you choose. And at the end of the day, you.

945
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,839
Speaker 6: Have to tay the fear of failure out back.

946
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 5: Failure sometimes is like the best thing, but you have

947
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,720
Speaker 5: to jump to know you know, and like twenty six,

948
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:13,439
Speaker 5: I'm twenty nine and my life is unrecognizable in three

949
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 5: years from where I was at twenty six because I

950
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,879
Speaker 5: decided to change it. And you just have to open

951
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 5: up to what you know is.

952
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 6: Right for you.

953
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 5: Because I listen to this podcast all the time, I'm

954
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 5: such a giant fan. And one thing both Catherine and

955
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 5: Chelsea talk about all the time is like we know

956
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 5: what's right if we're in tune with ourselves, we know

957
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 5: what we're meant to do, we know like the next step,

958
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 5: we know, Like there's this little gut feeling that I

959
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 5: have that I need to shift here, like and it

960
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 5: sounds like you know, so just trust yourself, trust yourself,

961
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 5: don't be scared to veil, and don't be scared to

962
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 5: disappoint your parents, because at the end of the.

963
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 6: Day, you're not honoring your knowing.

964
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 5: This right now and your happiness is pursuing what's going

965
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 5: to make you feel fulfilled.

966
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 6: And at the end of the day, I really want

967
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 6: to believe your parents.

968
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 8: Want you to be happy. I think now kind of

969
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 8: the goal is to not the goals to disappoint them,

970
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 8: but the goals to like do the opposite, do what

971
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,320
Speaker 8: I want to do, and not fare so much about

972
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 8: what they or their friends think because it doesn't matter

973
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,359
Speaker 8: and it's just going to keep me more unhappy than

974
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 8: where I am. So luckily, like I've really come to

975
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 8: know myself and like become the person that I want

976
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 8: to be. It's just finding where I belong and what's

977
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 8: really going to push sheet out of that box even farther.

978
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: But I think you describe like what your passion is,

979
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: you know, which is design, architecture. You're interested in all

980
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 1: of those things, and it's a good example to set

981
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: for your younger siblings and your family anyway. Sounds like

982
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: you're going to have a conversation with your parents about

983
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 1: it anyway because of your a close relationship with them.

984
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 1: But you know, in speaking with your parents, it's like,

985
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: I have to go after my dreams, like I have to.

986
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 1: I'm gonna support myself while I pursue my dreams. This

987
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 1: isn't a reflection on or this isn't an indicator that

988
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to start supporting me or I need

989
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 1: your financial help. Right, You can do all of this

990
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: on your own, correct, Yes? Yeah, So there's really not

991
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: any input from them that has any merit in my opinion,

992
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 1: because you're not living your life for them, and there's

993
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,479
Speaker 1: so many regrets that come with that, and so many

994
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: people who are older that didn't go pursue their passion

995
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,439
Speaker 1: and now they're forty five and forty six and looking

996
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: at what you're looking at. So you have to take

997
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: your age into consideration. There is no bad decision. You're

998
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: going to succeed, you know what I mean. You just

999
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: have to make a decision.

1000
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: When you say you're bad at.

1001
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 1: Decision making, the key ingredient to making a decision is

1002
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: making one and going for it. You know what, I mean,

1003
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 1: it's not one is going to be the best or

1004
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: the other. It's like, what do you feel is your purpose?

1005
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 1: And it's very clear that you know and I have

1006
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: identified what that is. And by the way, that's a

1007
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 1: huge advantage too. So many people don't even know at

1008
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: your age what they want to do or where they

1009
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: want to be. So I think you should look at

1010
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: it in terms of setting an example for your younger

1011
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,919
Speaker 1: siblings and for your sister or your twin, and even

1012
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: for your parents, like I'm doing this my way. I'm

1013
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: going to do it, go after my dreams and support

1014
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 1: yourself by going to community college and studying design. I

1015
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 1: think that's a great idea and I think you're going

1016
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: to be much more fulfilled.

1017
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,760
Speaker 4: There's often a stepping stone, like Chelsea said, like making

1018
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 4: a decision, taking a step. Maybe it's not interior or

1019
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 4: exterior design that you're going to be and maybe it's

1020
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 4: something beyond that. For me, I was like throwing shit

1021
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 4: at the wall seeing what would stick. I thought voiceover

1022
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 4: was the next thing for me, and then I was like, wait,

1023
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 4: if I can edit my own voiceovers, I can start

1024
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 4: a podcast. Started podcasting, and here I am.

1025
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 3: Here's another thing too.

1026
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 5: Parents.

1027
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 4: Sometimes the things you think that they expect of you

1028
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,879
Speaker 4: are all in your head. One of the best days

1029
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 4: of my life. My dad's a lawyer, my aunt's a lawyer,

1030
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 4: my sister's a lawyer, my sister's graduation from law school.

1031
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 4: I had all these expectations about what my parents wanted

1032
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 4: for me, and my dad said to me, you know,

1033
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 4: I actually don't think that you would like fit really

1034
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 4: well as a traditional lawyer of any kind.

1035
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 3: And I was like, thank god.

1036
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 4: I I thought he had this expectation of me that

1037
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 4: I was gonna, you know, go to law school whatever,

1038
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 4: or that I was a failure if I didn't, and

1039
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 4: he was like, no, no, that's not for you. So

1040
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 4: sometimes it really is like coming from us, even though

1041
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 4: we think it's our parents' expectation.

1042
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 1: And it's also very typical for the oldest sibling, even

1043
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 1: though you're your twin is three minutes older than you,

1044
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 1: like you're considered one of the oldest. It's very typical

1045
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: for you to feel this kind of sense of responsibility

1046
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: to your parents. And that's just the architecture of a family.

1047
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:26,879
Speaker 1: You know, the oldest is supposed to be the most responsible,

1048
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: and then it falls apart as you go down. Like

1049
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 1: for me, I never once thought about what my parents

1050
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 1: wanted for me. I'm like, I have my plan. I

1051
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: knew what was happening from a very young age. I'm like,

1052
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 1: this is what I'm gonna do. And their opinion had

1053
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: no impact on me whatsoever. In fact, when I said,

1054
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 1: I went to community college for like half a semester

1055
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, I think I'm going to move

1056
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles, like I feel like I should just

1057
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: be famous or something. I was nineteen years old, and

1058
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 1: my parents.

1059
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 2: Were like, go, please go.

1060
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: That's exactly where you belong with those lunatics in California,

1061
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: you know, Los Angeles. So you're just letting all this pressure,

1062
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:03,879
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's the pressure of being

1063
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: the oldest, it's the pressure of being like modeling the behavior.

1064
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: But I would say that you have an opportunity to

1065
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: really model true happiness and go after what you want.

1066
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: So the decision has been made and that's what you're

1067
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: gonna do.

1068
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 5: Do it.

1069
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 6: Okay, Okay, thanks, and.

1070
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 2: Your parents have a problem, tell them to call into

1071
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:21,280
Speaker 2: the podcast.

1072
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 5: Oh I will, I'll send them your way have fun

1073
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 5: line dancing.

1074
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:27,879
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you.

1075
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 8: I'm going by myself. But that's fine. Shouldn't have disclosed that.

1076
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: I like that too. Good for you. You're a ballsy

1077
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 2: I like that.

1078
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:36,959
Speaker 8: Thank you.

1079
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, doing new things this year, so I like it

1080
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 5: fun to have fun.

1081
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 6: Thanks for taking my calls. So great to meet you all.

1082
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, Artina fight well.

1083
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:53,760
Speaker 4: Our last question comes from Kate. She says, Dear Chelsea,

1084
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 4: I'm a huge new fan of the show, and something

1085
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 4: I've noticed both of you mentioned during the advice segment

1086
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 4: is how I and it is to trust your gut

1087
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 4: and follow your instincts. Here we are again. This is

1088
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 4: an idea I've heard time and again from people I admire,

1089
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 4: but I've literally never been able to understand it on

1090
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 4: a personal level. As someone who lives with chronic anxiety,

1091
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 4: it seems like those times I think I have a

1092
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 4: gut feeling, it's proven wrong and is actually just my

1093
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 4: anxiety talking. So my question is how do I differentiate

1094
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 4: between my gut instincts and anxious thoughts. My doctor has

1095
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 4: diagnosed me with anxiety and I'm on medication. While this

1096
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,399
Speaker 4: certainly makes my anxiety manageable, I still deal with it

1097
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 4: internally on a daily basis because I know you'll ask.

1098
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 4: I'm not in therapy, and I hope and plan to

1099
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 4: regularly see a therapist someday, but it isn't financially viable

1100
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 4: for me at this point in my life. Thank you

1101
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,279
Speaker 4: so much for all the entertainment and inspiration you've given me.

1102
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 4: Your podcast is such a light in my life, and

1103
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 4: I cherish hearing your insights each week.

1104
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 3: Much love, Kate.

1105
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 2: Okay, Kelsey, what do you think about that?

1106
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 5: Ooh? I would say having people that know you well

1107
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 5: they can hold you accountable and help you decipher between

1108
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,359
Speaker 5: the two until you kind of get into a rhythm

1109
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,240
Speaker 5: where you learn to trust yourself and decipher for yourself,

1110
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 5: whether it's a dear friend or a family member or

1111
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 5: a therapist, which I think is a great idea to

1112
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 5: bring those gut feelings or thoughts to and say, you know.

1113
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 6: Me, what do you think this is?

1114
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 5: Can you help me kind of relearn to trust myself

1115
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 5: and decipher between the two. I feel really strongly about

1116
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 5: reaching out to the people that know you deeply and

1117
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 5: giving them that responsibility like they've given you in their

1118
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 5: life too.

1119
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:30,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a nice idea too.

1120
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: I think also with anxiety, you know there's impulse and

1121
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 1: there's instinct, and those are two different things, and anxiety

1122
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:40,839
Speaker 1: can make you feel very impulsive.

1123
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 2: So like, if you're deciding.

1124
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: Between two things and you have to figure it out right,

1125
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 1: it's good to say, Okay, I'm going to sit with

1126
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: myself and here are my two options, right, and then

1127
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: do it not once, but you have to repeat this

1128
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: exercise over and over, Like you give yourself ten minutes

1129
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 1: just to think with a thought, like to try and

1130
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 1: understand what your actual gut is telling you. Because anxiety

1131
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: is repetitive and it will keep telling you the same thing.

1132
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: But eventually, if you give it time instead of just

1133
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 1: giving it one opportunity, I feel like the growth that you'll.

1134
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 2: Have in the answer will come.

1135
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 1: So I would say to sit down with this idea,

1136
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: say like five days in a row, and just go, Okay,

1137
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna sit with this and try to recognize

1138
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: where your anxious thoughts are coming. And you might be

1139
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 1: surprised at the way that they abate. Once you give

1140
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,240
Speaker 1: yourself enough time with the subject matter and the decision

1141
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: you're making, your anxiety will quiet. From what I've learned

1142
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: about anxiety, the more time you give it with the

1143
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: same question. So instead of answering something as a one

1144
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: off or like oh I gotta do this, revisit it,

1145
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,760
Speaker 1: keep asking yourself what do I do, and not throughout

1146
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,439
Speaker 1: the day like that's your anxiety. You have to set

1147
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: aside a time and be like, Okay, I'm going to

1148
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: think about this.

1149
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 2: If you like to write it out, that's great.

1150
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:58,799
Speaker 1: If you just want to sit with yourself kind of

1151
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 1: like a meditation, but you're not meditating, You're just thinking

1152
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 1: about what the decision is and trying to hear your

1153
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 1: anxious thoughts versus your gut and I think the anxiety

1154
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 1: will quiet if you just keep revisiting it.

1155
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 6: That's great advice For me.

1156
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 4: Something that helps is asking myself literally to the feeling

1157
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 4: that's coming up.

1158
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 3: You ask yourself, what are you trying to tell me?

1159
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 4: And when you ask it that somehow the anxiety kind

1160
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 4: of falls away or you realize, oh, I'm this is

1161
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 4: a gut feeling I'm having, but I'm anxious about the

1162
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 4: gut feeling of like Okay, I need to go do

1163
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 4: this new, fun, exciting thing that's a little bit scary.

1164
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 4: You might be having anxiety about that, but underneath, you

1165
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 4: know what your gut is telling you. So I think, yeah,

1166
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 4: getting still checking in with a friend like seeing is

1167
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:45,240
Speaker 4: this anxiety or is this the path forward?

1168
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:45,839
Speaker 2: Yes?

1169
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: And I think recognizing Something that really helped me is impulse.

1170
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 1: Understanding what impulse is is an immediate reaction. You kind

1171
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 1: of want to like, oh, there's a situation and you have.

1172
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 2: To act now. No, no, no, you don't. Most of

1173
00:50:59,000 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 2: the time.

1174
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: You don't unless there's a fucking fire, you know, like,

1175
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 1: you actually don't have to act now. And the longer

1176
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 1: the amount of time, the longer duration of time you

1177
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 1: give yourself, the better you get at coming to it, like,

1178
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 1: you know, a sound conclusion. So I think time and yeah,

1179
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 1: I guess that's it. That does make sense.

1180
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, Well, thank you for writing in, k thank

1181
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 4: you for writing in.

1182
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,240
Speaker 3: Do we want to take a quick break and we'll

1183
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 3: wrap up?

1184
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 1: Yes, and we're back. We're wrapping up with Kelsey Ballerini.

1185
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 3: Kelsey, So wait and.

1186
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: Kelsey and Chelsea Ballerini, tell me about some of the

1187
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: places that you're excited to go that you've never been.

1188
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 2: Are there any places that you haven't been yet?

1189
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 5: Well, I'm doing headlining again, which is nice, so I'm

1190
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 5: kind of in like the in between venues. So I'm

1191
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 5: doing like the Santa Barbara Bowl, like all these beautiful

1192
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 5: like that is the best venue.

1193
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 2: The Santa Barbara Bowl is the best venue.

1194
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 6: I can't wait. I can't wait.

1195
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 5: It's all less post the letter is gonna be great,

1196
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 5: So I start there. And then also I'm dropping an

1197
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 5: extended version of the EP that we were talking about earlier,

1198
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 5: the Rolling Up the Welcome Matt with some of the

1199
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,800
Speaker 5: stuff that's just become a fun thing during the shows

1200
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 5: or like my SNL performance, some live versions of stuff.

1201
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 5: I'm really excited about that too.

1202
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 2: Where did you come up with the title rolling Up

1203
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:18,240
Speaker 2: the Welcome at.

1204
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 5: It's in one of the songs called Penthouse and kind

1205
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 5: of the this is an awful word to use, and

1206
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 5: I don't know why I'm picking this word, but the climax,

1207
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 5: what of the Holy key is?

1208
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 6: I hope is that line?

1209
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 5: It says and it stings rolling up the Welcome Matt

1210
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 5: and knowing you got half. So that's kind of like

1211
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 5: the big bomb of the whole thing. So I wanted

1212
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 5: to kind of just make that the centerpiece.

1213
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,280
Speaker 2: And do you write all your music, Elsie?

1214
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, I write everything, and I've I've kind of gotten

1215
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 5: into the game of co writing a lot because Nashville's

1216
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 5: built around that. Yeah, I love that, I did too,

1217
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,320
Speaker 5: but I will I will stay the EP. I wrote

1218
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 5: the whole thing, either by myself or with one other person.

1219
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 5: I've made a whole thing was one other woman, from

1220
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 5: production to instrumentation to songwriting. So it was like the

1221
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 5: most close to the chest thing I've gotten to do.

1222
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 5: And it brought me back to trusting myself as a

1223
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:12,240
Speaker 5: songwriter too, which is nice.

1224
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it.

1225
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for all your success. You can go

1226
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:16,720
Speaker 1: see Kelsey on tour.

1227
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 6: Please do.

1228
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 2: She's delightful. I love you, honey, Thank you so much.

1229
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 5: You're just being my friends.

1230
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 6: Nice to meet Yocath.

1231
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 2: Likewise, bye, thanks so much, by y'all.

1232
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: Bye y'all.

1233
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, we have added more shows to my Little

1234
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 1: Big Bitch tour because I'm coming all over. We add

1235
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 1: a second show at the Pantagius in Los Angeles, so

1236
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 1: that's October twelfth and Friday at thirteenth. We added a

1237
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 1: second show in Boston at the Waging Center. September twenty

1238
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: ninth and thirtieth is two shows in New York. I

1239
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 1: also have a show in Eastthampton, New York, August twenty six.

1240
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 2: We added a.

1241
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 1: Second show in Portland, So Thursday November tewod Friday November third,

1242
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: and Portland November fourth and fifth.

1243
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:00,240
Speaker 2: In San Francisco two shows there. We added a second show.

1244
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: Seattle November tenth and eleventh. Two shows Boston are November

1245
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 1: sixteenth and seventeenth at the Boch Center Wang Theater. And

1246
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:16,759
Speaker 1: I'm also coming to Toronto and Montreal and Ottawa and

1247
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 1: so many other cities Columbus, Cincinnati, Detroit, Louisville.

1248
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 2: So I will see everybody at all of these shows.

1249
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1250
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 1: Get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com.

1251
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,760
Speaker 4: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1252
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1253
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 4: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1254
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 4: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and

1255
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 4: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1256
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 4: com