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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: You can't be vulnerable and be perfect at the same time.

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Speaker 2: They don't go together. They not a match. It's not happening.

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Speaker 2: Swipe left, swipe right, whichever one you got to do

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Speaker 2: to get rid of it like it's not happening. Hey, lady,

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Speaker 2: have you ever felt like the world just doesn't get you? Well,

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Speaker 2: we do.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: and empowering women like you.

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Speaker 2: We're your hosts, Doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

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Speaker 2: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black

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Speaker 2: women to just be.

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Speaker 1: Before we dive in, make sure you hit that file

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Speaker 1: up and leave us a quick five star review. Lady,

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Speaker 1: We are black founded and black owned, and your support

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Speaker 1: will help us reach even more women like you.

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Speaker 2: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 3: It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

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Speaker 3: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

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Speaker 3: and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please

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Speaker 3: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 3: U E b R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you, all right.

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Speaker 2: Our quote of the day, it's a long one, So

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Speaker 2: buckle up. Being a strong black woman doesn't mean that

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Speaker 2: you can't be vulnerable. It's okay to cry. It's okay

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Speaker 2: if you're having a bad day. It's okay if some

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Speaker 2: days you feel like giving up. It's okay if you

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Speaker 2: need to ask for help. And that quote comes to

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Speaker 2: us from Stephanie Lahart and lady, if you listen to

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Speaker 2: our episodes chronologically, or have listened to any of our

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Speaker 2: more recent episodes, that quote of the day is familiar

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Speaker 2: to you. Te you tell them.

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Speaker 1: Why, all right, So it's familiar because a few episodes,

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Speaker 1: a few episodes ago, we started a conversation about vulnerability,

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Speaker 1: and the dialogue was so rich, Domini, we just kind

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Speaker 1: of went off not even I don't even want to

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Speaker 1: say on the tangent. We just went off different in

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Speaker 1: different pathways we didn't expect, and we didn't get a

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Speaker 1: chance to finish the entire episode. So today we're picking

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Speaker 1: up right where we left off. And if you missed

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Speaker 1: that episode, you can go back and listen. It's in

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Speaker 1: part it's part one, and it's in the previous season.

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Speaker 1: It is season twenty seven, episode twelve, with the same

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Speaker 1: title as today's episode. Just makes you look for the

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Speaker 1: part one at the end of the title, and you

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Speaker 1: know you've reached the right episode.

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Speaker 2: And we can't stress enough. If you haven't listened to

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Speaker 2: part one yet, go and check that part out first,

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Speaker 2: then come back. We'll be here waiting for you. And

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Speaker 2: we say that because in part one we laid out

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Speaker 2: the foundation for the content that we're talking about. Right

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Speaker 2: in part one, we break down what vulnerability really means,

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Speaker 2: and y'all know I like to operationalize a definition, so

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Speaker 2: we're all on the same page when using a word,

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Speaker 2: So that's not reason enough to go back to Part one.

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Speaker 2: We also discuss why so many of us, particularly black women,

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Speaker 2: resists vulnerability and some of the hurdles that keep us

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Speaker 2: from showing up authentically. And so once you have that

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Speaker 2: foundation in that context, you'll be ready to come back

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Speaker 2: to what we're diving into today.

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Speaker 1: That's right. So in part two today we're going to

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Speaker 1: dive deeper into the why and the how so why

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Speaker 1: vulnerability matters for our relationships are healing in our growth

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Speaker 1: and how to practice it safely. That is very important.

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Speaker 1: I think people often talk about vulnerability, be vulnerable, be vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: but it's like, we want to be strategic, and so

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Speaker 1: we talked about strategic strategic safety today and ways that

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Speaker 1: will honor your boundaries you're pacing in your troops. So

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Speaker 1: let's get into it. No, dom, I know we're going

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Speaker 1: to dive into the different ways or the whyse behind

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Speaker 1: why vulnerability matters. I was thinking about this in my

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Speaker 1: personal life of like why why is this important for me?

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Speaker 1: For us, but also for us as a collective. And

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Speaker 1: I know you as a therapist. You've probably heard about

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Speaker 1: reports about the loneliness epidemic, right, and I think twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty is really a time where people were feeling that, right,

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Speaker 1: especially people who may not have had community or people

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Speaker 1: that they were I want to say on lockdown with

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Speaker 1: Because in California we were like now couldn't leave the

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Speaker 1: house some days. And so I've noticed people online and

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Speaker 1: just people in conversations talking about feeling disconnected, feeling isolated,

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Speaker 1: or lacking community. I felt that even with myself, like

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Speaker 1: you can have community, you can be a part of something,

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Speaker 1: but also feel lonely. And so I think about that

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Speaker 1: social skills. I'm sure it's you know, working on college

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Speaker 1: campuses and how we have social media, we see social

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Speaker 1: skills regressing. And then the other thing that I literally

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Speaker 1: just saw was the I want to say, the creation

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Speaker 1: of like AI artists and influencers. And so when I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking about the conversation that we're having today, I think

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Speaker 1: at some point we should touch on those things because

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Speaker 1: it feels really important because of the state of the world.

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Speaker 1: You know, what are your thoughts on that?

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Speaker 2: So so as I was sitting, as I'm processing all

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Speaker 2: of what you are sharing, I think about how hard

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Speaker 2: vulnerability really is and what I appreciate about this second

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Speaker 2: part of this conversation that we're having today is about

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Speaker 2: the safety that is necessary for vulnerability to exist. And

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Speaker 2: so I think about social media and how that there

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Speaker 2: is not really emotional safety there. And the flip side

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Speaker 2: of that is that for some people that does feel safe,

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Speaker 2: right because it may fit for some For some people

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Speaker 2: it may feel easier to be honest with a camera

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Speaker 2: because you don't have the people in person to show

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Speaker 2: you body language to give you immediate feedback. And as

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Speaker 2: vicious as social media can be, it's also a space

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Speaker 2: where you can find people who resonate with your story.

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Speaker 2: And so I think about how for some people social

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Speaker 2: media may feel like a safer space to truly be

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Speaker 2: their vulnerable, authentic selves, and then for others, it's they

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Speaker 2: meet that in person, direct human to human connection in

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Speaker 2: order for vulnerability to exist, which then helps decrease that

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Speaker 2: loneliness that they're feeling, because the reality is that and

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Speaker 2: I may have said it in that in our part one,

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Speaker 2: but I know I say it often that we all

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Speaker 2: want to be seen, heard and loved and valued.

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Speaker 4: And when those things exist, it makes vulnerability easier.

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Speaker 2: So that's what I happened to it. Yes, no, I

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Speaker 2: love it.

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Speaker 1: I think that's perfect. That makes perfect since and I

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Speaker 1: think it's a great segue into some of the key

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Speaker 1: points that we want to touch on when it comes

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Speaker 1: to why vulnerability matters. And so the first I guess,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know. I want to call it a

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Speaker 1: tip really, But the first reason I guess would be

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Speaker 1: that it builds into intimacy, trust and belonging. And so

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Speaker 1: many of us may know this, but when we let

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Speaker 1: people see the real us, it can a deeper connection

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Speaker 1: because we're not bonding with a mask, right, they get

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Speaker 1: to bond with the real us. And we can think

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Speaker 1: about the podcast. Right, We've talked about very personal subjects

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, and we've had listeners. I mean, oh, man,

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Speaker 1: I wish I remember everyone's name, but I'm literally just

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Speaker 1: on the spot right now. I'm thinking about listeners that

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Speaker 1: we saw at the live event who talked about how

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Speaker 1: the podcast you know, helped them through a divorce, or

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Speaker 1: someone talked about how, you know, us touching on death

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Speaker 1: or certain just certain things in life have really inspired

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Speaker 1: them along their journey because they were experiencing something similar.

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Speaker 1: And so I think about with our platform, even although

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Speaker 1: we don't always get to see you, lady, because we're

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Speaker 1: on the mic and we're just kind of putting this

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Speaker 1: content out there for you, but we don't get to

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Speaker 1: see your face and be in communion with you, it

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Speaker 1: still does build that trust and intimacy right in that

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Speaker 1: connection and hopefully belonging for you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I think also when it comes to in

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Speaker 2: person interactions, whether it is your relationship with a partner

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Speaker 2: or or a relationship with a friend or family member,

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Speaker 2: having that intimacy, like being able to be vulnerable, really

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Speaker 2: enhances that intimacy, right, really enhances that trust. Now, the

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Speaker 2: thing is is that in a lot.

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Speaker 4: Of these situations, it's what came first, the chicken or

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Speaker 4: the egg.

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: Do I have this intimacy, trust, and sense of belonging

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Speaker 2: because one or both or all of us were vulnerable?

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Speaker 2: Or did I have to establish intimacy, trust, and sense

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Speaker 2: of belonging in order for me to feel comfortable being vulnerable?

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Speaker 2: And honestly, it'll depend on the situation. And so that

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Speaker 2: takes us to the second reason, and it's when we

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Speaker 2: are in a space where we are able to be vulnerable,

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Speaker 2: it strengthens not only our self acceptance, but that muscle

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Speaker 2: to be authentic, right, that you become when you get

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Speaker 2: more comfortable in vulnerability, you become more comfortable accepting wholeheartedly

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Speaker 2: who you are and putting your full, authentic self out

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Speaker 2: there on a regular basis. Now, I will also say

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Speaker 2: the caveat is that I understand that there are some

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Speaker 2: spaces where being vulnerable, is not strategic, is not to

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Speaker 2: your advantage. So for most of us, as black women,

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Speaker 2: the workplace is not a space where you can truly

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Speaker 2: be vulnerable. And so I want to acknowledge that, and

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Speaker 2: I want people to hear that I'm not asking you

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Speaker 2: to be vulnerable with that boss who is evaluating you

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Speaker 2: and will turn right around and use that against you

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Speaker 2: in some way, even if in your face they were saying, oh,

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Speaker 2: thank you so much for that vulnerability and honesty and transparency.

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Speaker 2: So I want to be clear that that's not what

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Speaker 2: we're talking about, right that, like we understand that there

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Speaker 2: are that the work space is not you usually the

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Speaker 2: space where you can be vulnerable. Some of us are

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Speaker 2: fortunate where we have where we do have workspaces where

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Speaker 2: we can be vulnerable, but the majority of us do not,

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Speaker 2: and so we do want to I did want to

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Speaker 2: take a moment to pause and acknowledge.

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Speaker 1: That I appreciate you sharing that down because as you

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Speaker 1: were sharing this and made me think of two things. One,

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Speaker 1: how I show up in the therapy space now because

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Speaker 1: I'm just a bit I just think about where I

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Speaker 1: was in the beginning of my therapy journey. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: sharing as much. It took me, like forever, really dive

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Speaker 1: into some of the deep stuff with one of my

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Speaker 1: particular therapists. And so now just because of experience, maybe age,

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Speaker 1: wisdom and just where I am in life, I share more.

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Speaker 1: And I find that it does kind of force. It

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Speaker 1: can force us to acknowledge our truth instead of hiding it.

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Speaker 1: And also I think that when we practice being seen,

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Speaker 1: the more we can start to believe like I am

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Speaker 1: enough even though this is a part of my story

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Speaker 1: whatever that might be, or because this happened or whatever.

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Speaker 1: So that's one thing I thought about. And the other

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Speaker 1: thing I love that you said is that most of us,

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Speaker 1: yeah something, go ahead, go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, it's about therapy.

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Speaker 1: But remember I remember mine, go ahead cause you look excited.

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Speaker 2: So I, as a therapist, I do want to say,

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Speaker 2: I want to I did. I didn't want us to

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Speaker 2: skip over this piece of what you shared. Right of

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Speaker 2: how in the therapy space there were times when in

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Speaker 2: particular therapists, where you didn't feel comfortable enough being fully vulnerable. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And what I tell my clients all the time is

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Speaker 2: that I can't help you if I don't know the

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Speaker 2: full picture, right like I can only help you with

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Speaker 2: what you give me. I also recognize within that that

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Speaker 2: it is my job as the therapist to make you

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Speaker 2: feel create a space where you feel.

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Speaker 4: Seeing heard valued, right and.

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Speaker 2: Not every therapist is good at that, and we might

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Speaker 2: not be able to do that for every client. So

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Speaker 2: for me, particularly working on a college campus, some of

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Speaker 2: what that creating that space looks like is letting clients,

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Speaker 2: letting students know about certain aspects of my personal life

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Speaker 2: that we were taught in school that you don't share

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Speaker 2: that with clients, right Like, I had one student, I've

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Speaker 2: had more than one student ask me me if I

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Speaker 2: was currently in a relationship, right, Okay, And not because

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Speaker 2: they were trying to get with me or anything like that,

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Speaker 2: right Like, It was more so them trying to understand

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Speaker 2: how I can relate to what they were dealing within

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Speaker 2: that moment. And so and so I think about to

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Speaker 2: that point of the vulnerability that is expected in a

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Speaker 2: therapy relationship is not only the work of you as

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Speaker 2: the client, is it is up to your therapist to

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Speaker 2: create that space. Because I when I first started my

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Speaker 2: therapy journey, there were a couple of therapists that I

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Speaker 2: saw that I was like, I mean, I'm gonna give

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Speaker 2: you the high level content. I'm going to intellectualize all

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Speaker 2: the way with you, and that's it. And I knew

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Speaker 2: that that was not going to be the therapy relationship

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Speaker 2: that was gonna get me the healing that I needed. Yes,

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Speaker 2: because their presence and not to say that they were

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Speaker 2: an awful therapist, but who they were and how they

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Speaker 2: engaged with me did not create a space where I

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Speaker 2: felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: I love that you share that. Don You made me

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Speaker 1: think of something I was going to say way back

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Speaker 1: to what I was going to say that ties into this,

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Speaker 1: and so I love that you covered that because one

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Speaker 1: of the things I wanted to share is that my

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Speaker 1: most positive experiences to date have been with black women

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Speaker 1: when it comes to my therapy experiences. And recently I

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Speaker 1: was digging into some more stuff that I've been experiencing

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Speaker 1: and I met with a black woman coach and girl

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Speaker 1: was so interesting because we were meeting and I was

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Speaker 1: like pretty emotional that week, and I told you behind

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Speaker 1: the scenes what I was dealing with. I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: say it's around addiction. We'll do another episode about it, Lady.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna keep no secrets from you,

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Speaker 1: lady out. We'll share it later, but once we flesh

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Speaker 1: out the episode. I shared this with this black woman

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Speaker 1: coach and I like broke down on the virtual call,

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Speaker 1: and I did not like it. Just I felt like

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Speaker 1: it was so new. You know how I felt about

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Speaker 1: this initially when it was happening. She's like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: and I was really struggled. It was that first couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks of you know, me dealing with it, and

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Speaker 1: I was like it was overwhelming. I was feeling a

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Speaker 1: certain way, and so I shared it and I broke

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Speaker 1: down and it did not feel safe. And after that,

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Speaker 1: I was like, she didn't say anything wrong, she didn't

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Speaker 1: do anything wrong. It was just a certain level of

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe being held or being the presence

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Speaker 1: is what you said, and I think it was that

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Speaker 1: in my gut something was just like I don't something

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Speaker 1: about this just didn't feel right. And so I had

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Speaker 1: the moment after I was just like, that was kind

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Speaker 1: of weird the way that kind of happened after And

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Speaker 1: so for some reason, I love to get your feedback

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Speaker 1: on this too. For some reason, in my body, because

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Speaker 1: of my trauma and things I'm used to. There was

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Speaker 1: this thing in me saying like, but like, let's call,

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Speaker 1: let's give it another try, let's do this. But I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to do that. I don't have to

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Speaker 1: try to make something work that doesn't fit. If my

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Speaker 1: gut was like pause, then we could just pause. And

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Speaker 1: I didn't reach out again. I didn't schedule anything because

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Speaker 1: I just had to pause. And so I wanted to

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Speaker 1: say that any thoughts on that before we talk to

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Speaker 1: the next one.

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Speaker 2: Listening to your gut, listening to what your body is

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Speaker 2: telling you is so important because that also is a

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Speaker 2: cue for is this a space where I can be vulnerable? Right?

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Speaker 2: It does require us knowing our body, because for some

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Speaker 2: of us, the signal that our body is giving us

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Speaker 2: is not that this is not a safe space, but

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Speaker 2: that it's a signal. It's an anxious signal. Yeah of oh,

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Speaker 2: I haven't done this thing before, it's new, I'm nervous

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Speaker 2: about trying this new thing. Yes, And sometimes we listen

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Speaker 2: to that and think, oh, we confuse that with a

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Speaker 2: sign of this is a no go, don't do this right.

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Speaker 2: And so you have to learn your body, learn yourself

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Speaker 2: to know the difference between I'm feeling some slight discomfort

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Speaker 2: because I'm anxious about this new thing versus I'm feeling

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Speaker 2: some discomfort because this is my body letting me know

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Speaker 2: that this is not the time or space to do this.

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Speaker 1: I love that you made that distinction down because maybe

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Speaker 1: in the beginning of my journey, I may have been like, wait,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what this is, but I knew what

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Speaker 1: this was. So I'm glad that you made that distinction

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Speaker 1: because it is so important because sometimes it's like, no,

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Speaker 1: you need to face that and we need to feel

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Speaker 1: the discomfort and let's let's move through this. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: move through it in a safe and you know, strategic way.

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Speaker 1: But like, come on. So that takes us to number three,

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Speaker 1: which is it break cycles of perfectionism. So it helps

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Speaker 1: us to break cycles of perfectionism. Vulnerability can interrupt the

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Speaker 1: need to look like you have it all together. I

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Speaker 1: remember years ago, like thirteen or so years ago, when

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Speaker 1: I was first starting my online brand, and I thought

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Speaker 1: everything had to be pilished and perfect and I had

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Speaker 1: to appear a certain way and do all that. And

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Speaker 1: then I realized I'm like, no, like, people don't resonate

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Speaker 1: with perfection, and so I began to share the mishaps,

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Speaker 1: the accidents, the mistakes, and just letting people know, not

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Speaker 1: taking myself too seriously, like I made a mistake. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I made a mistake. I mean even when you listen

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Speaker 1: to the podcast, lady, we making mistakes in the podcast.

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Speaker 1: We actually don't edit them out as much now. We

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Speaker 1: used to edit them out heavy in the beginning, but

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Speaker 1: now we don't unless it's like a major thing where

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know, we have a guest doing or something,

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Speaker 1: but we keep it in there so you know, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're human, should be happening, and we keep on We

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Speaker 1: keep on rolling. That's what we do.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, And I think that that and I think

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Speaker 2: what that does is that allows you to lean into

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Speaker 2: like as you're leaning into that vulnerability, then it becomes easier.

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Speaker 2: It becomes a natural thing to break that cycle of perfectionism,

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Speaker 2: because you can't be vulnerable and be perfect at the

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Speaker 2: same time. They don't go to get other, They not

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Speaker 2: a match. It's not happening. Swipe left, swipe right, whichever

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Speaker 2: one you got to do to get rid of it,

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Speaker 2: Like it's not happening, Okay, it's not happening. And so

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Speaker 2: the final reason before we dive into the tips on

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Speaker 2: how to practice safe vulnerability is that vulnerability is important

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Speaker 2: because it counters that disconnection and isolation in the digital age,

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Speaker 2: which we sort of already touched on, right, that like,

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Speaker 2: when you are in a space of sharing your full

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Speaker 2: authentic self, there are people that are going to resonate

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Speaker 2: with your experience or who want to support you in

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Speaker 2: your experience. And when you have people who resonate with

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Speaker 2: your story and or they're wanting to support you, that

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Speaker 2: helps foster connection. And then it also takes it a

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Speaker 2: step further and models for them what vulnerability looks like, right,

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Speaker 2: and it makes it so that they then feel comfortable

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Speaker 2: being vulnerable. And so now that connection is deepening and

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Speaker 2: you're feeling less isolated because you're like, oh, okay, well,

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Speaker 2: even if their stuff isn't the same as their experience

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Speaker 2: isn't the same as my experience, we're all navigating things together.

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Speaker 2: We can show up and they got flaws. I got flaws.

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Speaker 2: This thing went really well for me, But did you

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Speaker 2: really know what was happening in the background, And the

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Speaker 2: connections and the community that can be built can be

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Speaker 2: life changing.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. You know, we have been a living witness of

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Speaker 1: what that looks like in action. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things I want to add is that with AI right

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Speaker 1: curated feeds and surface level interactions which I'm sure we

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Speaker 1: all see online vulnerability, it can really recenter us in human,

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Speaker 1: authentic experiences right and earlier do I mentioned something about

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Speaker 1: AI and I saw something a couple of weeks ago

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Speaker 1: that I was reminded of when we took a little

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Speaker 1: break before we started, and I am like, it's very

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Speaker 1: mind blowing to me to see I'm thinking about vulnerability

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Speaker 1: within the context of what I'm going to share with

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Speaker 1: you and what I witnessed. So there's an R and

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Speaker 1: B AI artist, and there are AI influencers that are

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Speaker 1: like gaining followers. It's R and B artists, it's an

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Speaker 1: AI artist has a charting song with a three million

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Speaker 1: dollar record deal, which is very mind blowing to me.

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Speaker 1: But the other thing is I saw this AI influencer

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Speaker 1: who was a queer black woman and there's a whole

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Speaker 1: Instagram page. I don't want to call it the name,

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to say the high level, but it's

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Speaker 1: an Instagram page and the images are beautiful. But what

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Speaker 1: really got me and confused me is that when you

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Speaker 1: go down the feed, there are videos and there are

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Speaker 1: pictures and they look real and it's the woman in

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Speaker 1: her I believe it's her wife or girlfriend, and she

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Speaker 1: was talking about her fertility journey and daycare drop offs

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Speaker 1: and like living this luxurious lifestyle. That's not the part though.

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Speaker 1: People are emotionally connecting in the comments, people are congratulating her.

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Speaker 1: Some people know what's AI. They're congratulating her and they're

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Speaker 1: like into this story, and I'm just it makes me

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Speaker 1: question where the world is going. And that's why I

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Speaker 1: think the human connection aspect is just so important in

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Speaker 1: the content of this conversation. And I think it also

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Speaker 1: highlights how easy it is to connect with manufactured stories

404
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Speaker 1: like AI has benefits, but it's important for us to

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Speaker 1: remember that human connection is crucial and important, and so

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Speaker 1: I think it just really depends on like where are

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Speaker 1: we putting our energy, how are we showing up? And

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Speaker 1: there's a deeper conversation that she be had around and

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Speaker 1: maybe we'll have that in the future too, But what

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Speaker 1: are your thoughts on that in the context of vulnerability,

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Speaker 1: Because I my mind is really blown.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, as I'm listening to you to share this story,

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Speaker 2: I just started feeling concerned. Like to me, part of

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Speaker 2: that will make vulnerability harder. My worry is that it

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Speaker 2: will make vulnerability harder in the future because we won't

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00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 2: know who to trust what to trust. Right, If I

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Speaker 2: could see where there's a space where someone who has

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Speaker 2: difficulty with social connection, how they could connect to this

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Speaker 2: AI person and they're that that AI story and experiences

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Speaker 2: and all the things, and it works for them because

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Speaker 2: they have difficulty doing the human interactions.

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Speaker 1: And this is the person behind the AI who's like

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Speaker 1: creating it. Is that what you're referring to the audience

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Speaker 1: a person connecting with it?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: If they are someone?

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Speaker 3: If?

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Speaker 2: If? All right, So let me make this easier because

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Speaker 2: I don't want people to be confused. So Terry, let's

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00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 2: say you're the person who is looking at this AI

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Speaker 2: content and you are a person who has trouble with

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Speaker 2: social connection and you're feeling isolated, and you go and

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00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: you're interacting with this AI creation, and you are interacting

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Speaker 2: as if this is a real person, and you're learning

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00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 2: how to have empathy, what it looks like to show empathy,

436
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 2: what and you're learning social cues from interacting with this

437
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 2: person this AI creation. Okay, I could see where that

438
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 2: could be helpful in that scenario. However, I could also

439
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 2: see the devastation that may be experienced when you learn

440
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 2: that this is not real, yes, and the devastation that

441
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 2: could be experienced from and when you then take that

442
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 2: and translate that to is this what people humans do?

443
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 2: Or Well? If I can't trust that, can I trust

444
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 2: anyone or anything? And so it's it's hard because I

445
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: can see, I can see a world where AI creation

446
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 2: can make it easier for some people who are experiencing

447
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 2: isolation to learn how to connect. But then I also

448
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: worry in overall that then it makes it harder for

449
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 2: us to trust one another in real life because you're

450
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 2: so used to seeing things that are AI created that

451
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: now you don't know even your people in real life. Well,

452
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 2: is what you're giving me real?

453
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: Like?

454
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 2: Is this really you? Like? You and I just had

455
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 2: a conversation. How do I know that that's how you

456
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: really feel? And you weren't on your phone on on

457
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 2: one of I'm not going to name a name of

458
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: an AI platform, but you're on an AI platform learning

459
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 2: how to have a conversation with me instead of being

460
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: your authentic self like it. I worry that it will

461
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 2: it'll slow down our ability to be vulnerable.

462
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: That's a really good point, Dom, And I think that

463
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: we all should definitely just keep our eyes on, you know,

464
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: what's happening, how things are developing, because I think that

465
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: a lot of people who are creating these tools and platforms,

466
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: they may not have our best interest at heart. And

467
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: so I think this is when going within and tapping

468
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 1: into I mean, nothing can be discernments, right, which we're

469
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: going to talk about just a bit. Nothing can be

470
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: discernment and your connection with you know, God, spirit, whatever

471
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: you want to call your higher power. Right, I'm not here.

472
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: This is your that's your business. I'm not here to

473
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: tell you that because we all have our own beliefs.

474
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: But like, nothing can be that connection and the vulnerability

475
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: of human connections in my opinion, and so I think

476
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: that when it comes to practicing vulnerability, it isn't always

477
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: about oversharing or exposing yourself in unsafe ways. We think

478
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: it's about being intentional and learning how to open up

479
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: with wisdom and again being strategic is domstated earlier, because

480
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: many of us are not in spaces where we can

481
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: just share openly, let's say, like in the workplace or

482
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: even in some family settings. Okay, sometimes you've got to

483
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 1: have some clear boundaries with family and can't be super

484
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: vulnerable in that setting because it is not safe for you. Right.

485
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 1: I've definitely experienced that. And so today we want to

486
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: break down or break this section down into two lanes.

487
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: So we're going to talk about vulnerability with yourself, because

488
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: everything starts with the self, Everything starts with the person

489
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: in the mirror. And then vulnerability with others because it

490
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: may look different, but in order for you to be

491
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: vulnerable with others, you gotta be vulnerable with yourself first, right,

492
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 1: So let's jump in.

493
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: So see, you started off by mentioning like discernment, right,

494
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: and so in terms of discernment with yourself, you have

495
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 2: to take a moment and pause and go within and

496
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: be honest with you, Yeah, because you can't be honest

497
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 2: with others if you don't know how to be honest

498
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 2: with you first. Exactly, so you can ask yourself, what

499
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 2: am I feeling? What do I need? And when you're

500
00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: honest with yourself, think about as if no one is

501
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 2: ever gonna know because oftentimes, as we're trying to learn

502
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: how to be vulnerable, we have to start there right

503
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 2: with practicing with ourselves. Okay, someone says someone said something

504
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: to me today, How am I really feeling? Not what

505
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 2: I said, not not what really what did I respond with?

506
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 2: But how am I really feeling? What is the emotion

507
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 2: that's coming up? And what do I mean?

508
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: Now?

509
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: I may have responded politely, but on the inside, I

510
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 2: might be on fire, ready to breathe fire like a

511
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 2: dragon because I am so pissed with what that person said.

512
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 2: If I am honest with myself, then I'm gonna say

513
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 2: I am pissed all the way the fuck off. And

514
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 2: what do I need right now? Do I need to

515
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: feel that rage, let myself experience it for a minute

516
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 2: and and and then do something with that, do something

517
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 2: healthy with that rage? Or do I need to acknowledge that, yes,

518
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 2: I am feeling this rage, but recognize that it is

519
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: not good for me in the long run to do

520
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 2: something with it. So how do I come down? How

521
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: do I what do I need to self southe And

522
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 2: that's discernment, because there are times where internally you may

523
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 2: truly be feeling rage. Yeah, externally. It's not gonna it's

524
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 2: not gonna be productive for you to put it out there.

525
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: But you have to acknowledge that you're feeling it, because

526
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 2: if you don't knowledge that you're feeling it, if you

527
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 2: push it down, you stuff it down. Either one you're

528
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: gonna end up acting out in a situation that didn't

529
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 2: deserve that m or two you're gonna start causing your

530
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 2: body physical harm because you are putting so much energy

531
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 2: into stuffing down that emotion.

532
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: Or you're gonna end up calling somebody up and telling

533
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: them your business and then regretting it later because you

534
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: was just in a moment you're like, I need to

535
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: talk to somebody and tell them that are there before

536
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: listen dumb. Okay, So before we jump in, lady, we're

537
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: talking about, of course, how to practice safe vulnerability, right,

538
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: and when it comes to discernment, there were literally a

539
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 1: couple of situations this week that made me think about

540
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 1: this particular point here about having discernment. And so when

541
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: we think about discernment, like you said, it's like recognizing

542
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 1: those subtle differences the nuance, and like being able to

543
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: make wise judgments and understand what's true, what's valuable, what's

544
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: going to be productive within this this content? And so

545
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 1: there was a situation. There were a couple of situations

546
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: this week where something happened and I could have phoned

547
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: a friend, I could have talked about it with someone,

548
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 1: but it was like midday, I didn't want to. People

549
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: were busy, and I kind of sat with myself and

550
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 1: I was like, do I need to share this or

551
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 1: can I just work through on my own? Because like

552
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: you said, it wasn't going to be productive. And I

553
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: also you know how you tell somebody something and you're

554
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: reliving the situation, It's like do I want to be

555
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 1: in that space?

556
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 3: Right?

557
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: That's super important? The vulnerability was self and then when

558
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: it comes to kind of transitioning into the discernment with others,

559
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: sharing only with those who've earned your trust, right going

560
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: back to that, you're heated in the moment and you're

561
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: just like, I just need to talk to somebody. I've

562
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: been there before. And you call somebody up and you

563
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 1: tell them like do do do this happened? So boom

564
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah, and then after you get it out,

565
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,840
Speaker 1: maybe they don't respond the way that you wanted them to.

566
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 1: Respond you're like, God, damn, I shouldn't share this shit

567
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 1: with them, or they go out and tell your business

568
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: whatever it might be, right, this person was not safe.

569
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 1: They didn't earn your trust, and in the moment you

570
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 1: were just had a lot of energy and you wanted

571
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: to get it out before maybe going over with your

572
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 1: self and self soothing. And so it's important to ask ourselves,

573
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: has this person shown up in a way where I

574
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 1: can share my story and they can hold my story

575
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: with care right, Let's look at patterns and past behaviors.

576
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: A lot of times it's really important because if you

577
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: know that someone has a theme of showing up in

578
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: a certain way and maybe they're not open the feedback

579
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: when you share it with them, like, hey, I like

580
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: to be supported in this way, that may not be

581
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: the person that you go to for that thing, right,

582
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: And it's important for us to know that. So we're

583
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: not I want to say, contributing to instances of I

584
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 1: don't know if I want to call it self harm,

585
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: but just like feeling like we're I don't know, don

586
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: what is the word I'm looking for? Yeah, situations where

587
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: we're not being supported or careful or having the presence

588
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: that we desire. It's like, once we recognize the pattern,

589
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 1: we may need to find a new outlet or find

590
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: a new person that makes sense.

591
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that does. Yeah, and so I think yes

592
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: with that discernment, once you once you've kind of figured

593
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 2: out how you're able to discern like what you're feeling,

594
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 2: and you know how to share it with yourself, and

595
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 2: you're getting better at identifying who are the people you

596
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 2: can share share it with, the next thing is or

597
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,160
Speaker 2: part of what can help you in that discernment is

598
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 2: to start small. So with yourself, name those feelings right,

599
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 2: say to yourself right now, just do do check ins,

600
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: periodic check ins throughout the day. Huh, I feel anxious

601
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 2: right now. Maybe this is not a situation where I

602
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 2: would have openly acknowledged to myself that I'm feeling anxious,

603
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: but I need that. I need to say that in

604
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 2: this moment to myself.

605
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 3: Hmm.

606
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 2: I'll check in later and figure out why I might

607
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 2: have been feeling anxious, but I need to name in

608
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 2: this moment I'm feeling anxious or I'm feeling lonely. I

609
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm doing. I think for a lot

610
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 2: of us that are in positions where people look to

611
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 2: us to be the expert or to have the answers.

612
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 2: It may be hard to say, I don't know, But

613
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 2: if you start with yourself and you do this on

614
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:44,800
Speaker 2: a regular basis of acknowledging how you're feeling, you start

615
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 2: to build that muscle memory of honesty, of what, of

616
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 2: naming the emotion as it comes up, and then it'll

617
00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: get easier to bring that into your external world.

618
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 1: That's right. And then when it comes to being or

619
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: starting small with others, going back to what dom just shared,

620
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: you can begin with micro acts of openness like I

621
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 1: don't know. Sometimes that can be that is a very

622
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: vulnerable statement, especially depending on the setting.

623
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 2: Right.

624
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: My daughter asks me questions all the time. I'm like, girl,

625
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 1: she asked me the other day, don how was San

626
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 1: Francisco create it?

627
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 3: Like?

628
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 1: How did San Francisco get here? I'm like, that's a

629
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: brilliant question for a four year old question. I don't know,

630
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: but we can research it, right, Like that's a big

631
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: that can be a big act of vulnerability. Or I'm sorry,

632
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: I apologize right another one, or I need help. Let's

633
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: talk about that one for black women, I need help?

634
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 2: Wow, Yeah, that's.

635
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 1: Episode.

636
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 2: I'm still working on that one sometimes. Yeah, it's the thing,

637
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 2: and it is about vulnerability.

638
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: Yes, vulnerability, And like you said, we may need to

639
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 1: write this down as another episode to dive into because

640
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: when you said that, it's like, Okay, yeah, I do

641
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 1: need help, but is someone going to be there to

642
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: be able to help me? Like, because you know how

643
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 1: it is. My grandmother used to always be like, I

644
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: gotta do it myself if I want to get it

645
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: done right. Right, It's like one of those things like

646
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: do I have to Is someone actually going to be

647
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: there to support right? And so that's another episode, lady.

648
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 1: But these acts that we just share when it comes

649
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,879
Speaker 1: to starting small with others, they can really they can

650
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: feel like small risks, but they can also build confidence

651
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 1: and trust over time when you test them out and

652
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 1: kind of see how how do people respond when you

653
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 1: say that? Right? One thing I want to share I

654
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: had an uncle years ago I didn't know something and

655
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 1: his rude ass is going to say some my family

656
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: be playing too much, said don't you have a master's degree?

657
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 1: Like you should know that? And I'm thinking, like, sir,

658
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: I don't know every damn thing just because I have

659
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: a master's degree, Like what, so that's a person who's

660
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: not in my life today, but like, there are instances

661
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: of things like that where you can just test people

662
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: out and see how they respond to those small instances,

663
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 1: and they'll let you know. I'm not going to call

664
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 1: that uncle up and go tell him about all my

665
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,720
Speaker 1: business and what's going on, because I know his patterns

666
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 1: and that is one pattern of many other toxic and

667
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: unhealthy ones. Just fyi because some people do like the joke, right,

668
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah.

669
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 2: And so and so. Then that takes us to the

670
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 2: next one. Right, That was perfect segue into this next

671
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 2: one about boundaries and within this, within practicing vulnerability safely,

672
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: boundaries are super important, and so we often hear and

673
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 2: talk about boundaries with other people, but it's also important

674
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 2: to have boundaries with ourselves, right, And what that looks

675
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 2: like is identifying for yourself, what are the things that

676
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 2: stay sacred for you, what feels safe to put out there?

677
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 2: Right because one of a quote that I remember, I

678
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 2: don't remember the exact quote right now is not coming

679
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 2: to me, but from their eyes were watching God by

680
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 2: Zora Neil Hurston, that there are some things that a

681
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 2: woman has to keep for herself right, And to me,

682
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:18,439
Speaker 2: that's like a perfect line about boundaries for yourself of

683
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 2: knowing that there are some things that don't have to

684
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 2: be shared with the rest of the world, don't have

685
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: to be shared with anybody. It truly stays yours. That

686
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that it didn't happen, that doesn't mean that

687
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 2: it's not valid. But it's yours to keep, yours to

688
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 2: hold sacred, and that's that's important.

689
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: It is dom Ads. You said that I was thinking

690
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 1: about examples. Can you name an example, because the first

691
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: thing that came to mind for me, it depends on

692
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 1: the other thing is this is very personal. It depends

693
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: on where you are in your journey, what's important to you.

694
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: Because I know for some people who've had this conversation before,

695
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 1: but like body count as what came to mind for

696
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: me because it's a conversation that a lot of people have,

697
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,360
Speaker 1: and I think that for me personally, I'm just like y'all,

698
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 1: people judge when they hear whatever number you share, people

699
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: judge around it. And so for me, that's like one

700
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: of those things where it's like, anybody, what what is

701
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:13,959
Speaker 1: the body count? We don't we won't do the body

702
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: count that's not I don't subscribe to that, you know,

703
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: with that idea. But then for some people, if they're

704
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: with a partner, that's something that they discussed that's valuable

705
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: to them, they may share and that's you. It's yours

706
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 1: to choose. And I think that's the most important thing here,

707
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: is like it's about what makes you feel safe and

708
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 1: what's setting it's in, right, So, and I.

709
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 2: Think that's the thing about what's sacred, what's sacred to

710
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 2: what's sacred to you might not be sacred to me,

711
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: And so you get to decide for yourself.

712
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is.

713
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 2: That thing that that you're keeping for you?

714
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 4: Right?

715
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: And so if body count is your sacred thing, then

716
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 2: that's going to be your sacred thing. For some people

717
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: it's their spiritual practices. Those are a sacred thing that

718
00:43:55,600 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: they don't share with anybody else. Yeah, for other people,

719
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 2: it could be other rituals that they might have. For

720
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 2: some folks, it's about experiences that they have. So and

721
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 2: even if it's an experience that they may have had

722
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 2: someone with someone else or other like a group, they're

723
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 2: not talking about it, not even with those people they

724
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,839
Speaker 2: experienced it with. Because that's the thing that they are

725
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 2: choosing to keep sacred for.

726
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 1: Them, that's good. Thank you for those. And then when

727
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: it comes to boundaries with others, one thing to keep

728
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: in mind is that vulnerability doesn't equal spilling everything, right,

729
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:42,280
Speaker 1: share what serves connection, not what leaves you feeling exposed

730
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 1: or unsafe. And again that's all very subjective, right. It

731
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 1: depends on what makes you feel that way.

732
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 2: Yes, And so then that takes us to the connection building, right,

733
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 2: Because the other piece is when you you set boundaries

734
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 2: with other people, it is up to you to enforce

735
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 2: those boundaries. And when you have people in your life

736
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 2: who respect your boundaries, that helps that in building that vulnerability,

737
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 2: that helps with the connection. Now, when it comes to

738
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 2: connecting with yourself, it's a good question to gauge yourself

739
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 2: with yourself is why am I sharing this? Am I

740
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 2: sharing this just to be sharing because I want to

741
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 2: hear myself talk? Am I sharing this because I need validation?

742
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 2: Is it that I need attention? Do I need? Am

743
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 2: I doing this to foster a deeper connection? Am I

744
00:45:53,640 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 2: trying to truly build intimacy? So taking a moment in

745
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 2: asking yourself what is the intention behind the connection building?

746
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 2: And I know that may sound like, oh, we're talking

747
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 2: about connection building with others, but it starts within. So

748
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 2: it's these are the questions that you are asking yourself

749
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 2: first of why do I need to open up about this?

750
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 2: Because if you aren't clear with yourself first, you're not

751
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,719
Speaker 2: going to have that connection with other people. Because what's

752
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 2: going to happen if you are sharing being vulnerable because

753
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: you're looking for attention. That attention will come momentarily, but

754
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 2: it is not going to foster deeper intimacy and connection.

755
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 2: If you're looking for validation, that will be temporary. Also,

756
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 2: it could eventually lead to connection. Again, we all want

757
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 2: to be seeing, heard and valued, but that might not

758
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 2: be what you need in that moment because the thing

759
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:24,720
Speaker 2: that you're being vulnerable about might be something that does

760
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 2: not need validating because it could lead to further unhealthy behaviors.

761
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 2: And so again it's going within to ask yourself, what

762
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 2: is my why in being vulnerable in this moment with

763
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 2: this particular situation.

764
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 1: And I think the powerful thing about that diamond is

765
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 1: when you're connecting. When it comes to connection building with others,

766
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: once you have that personal check in, now you're able

767
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 1: to communicate potential needs that you might have with that person.

768
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,280
Speaker 1: So let's say it's a partner thinking about a partner instance,

769
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 1: or maybe your partner, I don't know. Maybe you thought

770
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 1: you saw them looking at somebody or something y'all were

771
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 1: out and you kind of felt a little tender, you

772
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 1: felt a certain way. That might be something that you

773
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:13,280
Speaker 1: bring up right as a concern. Maybe you want some attention,

774
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: Maybe you want validation, like well, damn, I saw you

775
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: looking at that big booty, but like you know what's good,

776
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean. Whatever, it might be

777
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: like you sharing that with them now that you've done

778
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 1: your check and you can let them know, like I

779
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 1: just want some validation because I saw this and it

780
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 1: made me feel a certain way, And now you can

781
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: get that from your partner, and that could be important

782
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 1: to you, right, Or it could be in a situation

783
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 1: like you said down where maybe it's a situation where

784
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 1: you can give yourself some validation versus getting it from others.

785
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 1: So I think here it's important to be mindful of

786
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: the moment, right it's this person able to hear and

787
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 1: hold this right now. So maybe at the mall, when

788
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: you're in front of people, is in the place to

789
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: talk about it, that's where it happened. Maybe you wait

790
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 1: until you get to the car, you wait until you

791
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: get home. So just gauging readiness on both sides. Have

792
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 1: you had your internal check in? Have you self soothed

793
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: enough to understand what do I need in this moment?

794
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,439
Speaker 1: What's coming up for me? And then am I able

795
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 1: to communicate this need to someone else versus you being

796
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 1: communicating something and then them asking well, what do you

797
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: want me to do? And you're like, I don't know

798
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: because I haven't checked in with myself. And sometimes we

799
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: don't know the answer. But it's just important to kind

800
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 1: of go through these things with ourselves.

801
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,759
Speaker 2: And I think even not knowing the answer allows you

802
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 2: to say, I don't know what I need right now,

803
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 2: I do, I will, I can, I will communicate that.

804
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:32,439
Speaker 2: I appreciate you checking in. And so then our our

805
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 2: final practice that we want to think about with vulnerability

806
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 2: is hacting so you can't you don't have to go

807
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 2: all in right away. Right We're not trying to do

808
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 2: zero to one hundred real quick, that's not that's not

809
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 2: a rat. We might do zero to five and then

810
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:58,799
Speaker 2: might take us a while before we get to one

811
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 2: hundred and that's okay. Give yourself that permission to move slowly,

812
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 2: because what that does is that over time, you're building

813
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 2: that muscle. You don't have to do all of it

814
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 2: at once. If you haven't even been vulnerable with yourself before,

815
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 2: that moves slowly Today I'm feeling And you give yourself

816
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 2: one word right, and you check in that one time,

817
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 2: and maybe you do that for the next week, and

818
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 2: then maybe the next week you check in a couple

819
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:49,240
Speaker 2: of more times throughout the day. It's similar to training,

820
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 2: like physical training, right, like physical building up your physical fitness.

821
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 2: If you have never lifted weights before, you're not about

822
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 2: to go and dead lift one hundred pounds. You'll first

823
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 2: go round. That's not gonna happen that that's not realistic.

824
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 2: If this is your first time doing dead lifts with weights,

825
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: maybe five pounds, and you work your way up to

826
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 2: one hundred, doing one hundred would be a quick way

827
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 2: for you to injure yourself. If this is your very

828
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 2: first time, and it's the same thing with vulnerability, going

829
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 2: all in right away could prove disastrous. It's okay to

830
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 2: move slowly, be patient with yourself. Patience is also a

831
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 2: part of that vulnerability to that.

832
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 1: And when it comes to pacing with others, there are

833
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: a couple of things here. One is when you're sharing

834
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,839
Speaker 1: something with someone homestays for the person listening as well,

835
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 1: like don't try to rush their process. Sometimes we share

836
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: things with people and it might be heavy. They may

837
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 1: be someone that takes a bit more time to process,

838
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,240
Speaker 1: so they maned behind to process what you just shared

839
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: right and may not have the answers or be able

840
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: to support. And then the other side of that is

841
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 1: don't rush people when they open up right, let them

842
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 1: sit in their rawness without trying to rescue or fix.

843
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 1: I think we talked about that in the previous episode too,

844
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 1: where it's like sometimes just letting them have space to cry,

845
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 1: get it out, not trying to rush the crying process,

846
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 1: Give them the tissues and just sit there with them

847
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 1: in silence, and then you can probably ask, you know,

848
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: what can I do to support what you need and

849
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,320
Speaker 1: let that be let that kind of lead the conversation

850
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:31,760
Speaker 1: or the experience there.

851
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 4: Or you don't give them the tissue weight at all

852
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 4: or until later on, because what I've noticed is sometimes

853
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 4: when we rush to give a person the tissue, it

854
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 4: signals to them to stop crying.

855
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:57,839
Speaker 2: And so if you let them, if you hold off,

856
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 2: so I'll just give an event in my therapy office.

857
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 2: The tissue box is right there next to them, so

858
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 2: they get to decide when they want to use the tissue.

859
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 2: And so then that way, because what I observed is

860
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 2: that if someone starts crying and I immediately go in

861
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 2: with the tissue, they stop crying, and then that vulnerable

862
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:24,399
Speaker 2: moment kind of passes if the tissue is just there.

863
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:28,000
Speaker 2: In situations that you that you know may bring up

864
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: some vulnerability, right, if if the tissue is just there,

865
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:38,240
Speaker 2: let the cry happen. I tell students all the time,

866
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 2: we can sit here and you can cry for the

867
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 2: whole hour, and that's okay because that's what you needed,

868
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 2: and we will. This therapy space is this container. And

869
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,879
Speaker 2: in reality, outside of the therapy space, like I get

870
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 2: it that, like we might not be in a space

871
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 2: where we're having this raw conversation, and we might not

872
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 2: be in the space to.

873
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 4: It.

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00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 2: Might the environment might not be one in which we

875
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:15,919
Speaker 2: can sit there for an hour crying our eyes out,

876
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 2: letting all the feelings come. But part of what helps

877
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 2: build that vulnerability and build that trust is if I

878
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 2: see that you are having this moment, I'm not going

879
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 2: to rush you to end it. Even if I might

880
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 2: be feeling uncomfortable with the emotions that you're feeling that

881
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 2: you're displaying as the as you're supporter, I'm going to

882
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 2: manage my own discomfort so that because right now the

883
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 2: focus is on you and asking you what you need

884
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 2: when the moment is right, not rushing you out of it.

885
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 1: That's good stuff, all right, lady. We're going to do

886
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 1: a quick recap on how to practice safe vulnerability. We

887
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 1: have discernment is number one, starting small boundaries, connection building,

888
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: and pacing. So we're going to jump into the after

889
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 1: show where we're going to talk a bit more about

890
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 1: this conversation, dive a bit deeper, share some behind the

891
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,879
Speaker 1: scenes content. So head on over to Herspace podcast dot com,

892
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 1: click anywhere you see Patreon and you can join us

893
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,440
Speaker 1: for the after show and also see the video of

894
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 1: the episode. We want to see you, so come on

895
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Speaker 1: over and join us. We'll see you there, lady. If

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Speaker 1: you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,

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Speaker 1: this is for you. Hey, lady, is Tea here And

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Speaker 1: I just want to invite you to my free goal

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Speaker 1: five proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals.

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Speaker 1: Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop

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Speaker 1: will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to

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Speaker 1: take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting

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Speaker 1: her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map

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Speaker 1: like a pro webinar link. Lady, don't miss this chance

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Speaker 1: you up for success. I hope to see you there.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for tuning into cultivating her Space. Remember that while

910
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 2: this podcast is all about healing, empowerment, and resilience, it's

911
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 2: not a substitute for therapy. If you are someone you

912
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 2: know needs support, check out resources like Therapy for Black

913
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 2: Girls or Psychology Today. If you love today's episode, do

914
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 2: us a favor and share it with a friend who

915
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 2: needs some inspiration, or leave us a quick five star review.

916
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 2: Your support means the world to us and helps keep

917
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Speaker 2: this space th thriving.

918
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 1: And before we again repeat after me, I release the

919
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:07,720
Speaker 1: old with gratitude, and prepare for the new with intention.

920
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 1: Keep thriving, Lady, and tune in next Friday for more

921
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Speaker 1: inspiration from cultivating her Space. In the meantime, be sure

922
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Speaker 1: to connect with us on Instagram at her Space podcast