1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 2: I can't stress how important it is to have community, 3 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 2: to have a group of folks that you feel connected 4 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 2: to where you live, outside of the people in your household, 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 2: but particularly if you live alone. 6 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:26,600 Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration, 7 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments 8 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a 9 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also, 10 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe 11 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:46,919 Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our 12 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab. 13 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,639 Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting 14 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 2: women like you where you're bank doctor Dominique Bussard, a 15 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 2: college professor and psychologist. 16 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a 17 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 3: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please 18 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 3: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from 19 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space where 20 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 3: black women can just be. 21 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 4: Hey, lady, it's Terry here. From the Cultivating her space podcast. 22 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 4: I'm hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm going to 23 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 4: teach you how to create your impactful podcast and how 24 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 4: you can generate multiple streams of income. You can visit 25 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 4: podcast with Terry dot com to register for free. I 26 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 4: hope to see you there. 27 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 2: Our quote of the day it is so liberating to 28 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 2: really know what I want, what truly makes me happy, 29 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 2: what I will not tolerate. I have learned that it 30 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: is no one else's job to take care of me 31 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 2: but me. From our homegirl Beyonce. 32 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 3: Seen Yonce, m h, I. 33 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 2: Mean that's real, right, Like I think when I hear 34 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 2: that quote, Like, what comes up for me immediately is 35 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 2: the wisdom of getting older and recognizing that it truly 36 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 2: is no one else's job to take care of me 37 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 2: but me, right, And that to me, that means I 38 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: have to know what I want. I have to know 39 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 2: what makes me happy. I have to know what my 40 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: boundaries are, and then I have to communicate that to 41 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 2: those around me. I can't expect people to be a 42 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 2: mind reader. I can't expect people to show up for me. 43 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 2: It would be nice, but I can't expect that from folks, 44 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 2: right mm hm, It really is up to me to 45 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 2: take care, to really do the things necessary, ask for 46 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: what needs to be done for me to be taken 47 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 2: care of. 48 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 3: And I'm going to say everything you just said, and 49 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 3: I would also what came up from me as you 50 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 3: were reading that is even if, like it's still my 51 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 3: responsibility to take care of me, even if fill in 52 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 3: the blink wasn't there, even if fill in the blink 53 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 3: didn't do what I thought they should have done, right, 54 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 3: like I'm thinking about just okay, like even if I 55 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 3: didn't get an apology, even if I didn't get what 56 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 3: I needed for or what I thought I needed for closure, 57 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 3: Like I am my own hero, I am my own 58 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 3: captain right of this ship. So, oh my goodness, this 59 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: is going to be I feel like this is going 60 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 3: to be a juicy topic. I'm excited for this topic. 61 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 2: Dom. 62 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 3: And one of the things that I just want to 63 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 3: share with you lady as you're listening, is that Dom 64 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 3: and I are going to share some stuff today. And 65 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 3: this is not law. It is our opinion strictly, and 66 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 3: and what we would encourage you to do is take 67 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 3: whatever resonates and pass along the rest, give away the rest. 68 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 3: Anything that doesn't resonate, you just give to somebody else. 69 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 3: And I think one of the things that would be 70 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 3: really cool for us, Tom is if we were to 71 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 3: ground the conversation with some wisdom from the old heads, 72 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 3: because I feel like there is no wisdom like wisdom 73 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 3: from the elders. And one of the first things that 74 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 3: I would love to just touch on to ground the 75 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 3: conversation before we jump into our tips here is the 76 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:37,280 Speaker 3: importance of living alone or living on your own and 77 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 3: doing you before moving in with the partner. Now, I 78 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 3: do realize the lady that everyone has a different life 79 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 3: path and everyone may not have had a chance to 80 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 3: have that experience before having children, before you know, becoming partner, 81 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 3: before being the caretaker. Right, However, if you are in 82 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 3: a position where you are able to have that experience 83 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 3: and prioritize that ex experience, if it's out of ten, 84 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 3: I'm right, Why do you think it's important? 85 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 2: Don So, it's important, I think from a developmental perspective 86 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:20,239 Speaker 2: in terms of it helps you figure out what you 87 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 2: like and who you are, and it helps you have 88 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 2: time on your own to fall in love with yourself. Right. 89 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 2: When I think about I mean I currently live alone 90 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 2: and have lived alone for a while. Now, I think 91 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 2: about that first time that I lived and we'll talk 92 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 2: about this later, But that first time that I lived 93 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 2: alone where I didn't have to think about what anyone 94 00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 2: else wanted on the grocery list, I didn't have to 95 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 2: think about checking in with anyone about what time I'm 96 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 2: coming home or what I wanted to watch on TV. 97 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: And beyond just the checking in, I got to decide 98 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 2: those things for myself. Right, So if I wanted to 99 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 2: have cereal for dinner, I could have cereal for dinner. 100 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 2: If I wanted to watch some reality television, I could 101 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 2: watch that and I could decide, like, is that something 102 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 2: that I enjoy watching? Or would I rather watch a documentary? 103 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 2: Like I get to figure that out on my own. 104 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 2: How do I like to keep my house? Like? Am 105 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 2: I the person who everything needs to be speaking spam 106 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,559 Speaker 2: before I go to bed? Am I the person who 107 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 2: lets chaos in two? And eventually I get to it 108 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 2: or maybe I don't. Those are the things that you 109 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 2: start to figure out as you live on your own. 110 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 3: What about preaching, You are preaching, girl, I'm just taking it. 111 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, I love that. We're also we can 112 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 3: speak from different perspectives to don because although I have 113 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 3: had that experience, which we'll dive into in a bit, 114 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 3: now being married having a little one, I do not. 115 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 3: One of the things I've reflected on recently is that 116 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 3: I do not have the same time to myself that 117 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 3: I had before when I was single or even when 118 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 3: I was childless, right and still married. I just don't 119 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: have that time. But I think the beautiful thing about 120 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 3: it is because I would say relative, I got married 121 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 3: relatively later, you know, compared to some people that I 122 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 3: know and had a child leader for sure, because of, 123 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 3: you know, the struggles that I went through with that, 124 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 3: I don't necessarily I don't resent the fact that I 125 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 3: don't have that time. It's just a matter of asking myself, 126 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 3: how do I create more time for myself with my 127 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 3: current life, because I wouldn't take anything away from what 128 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 3: I have now. But I think that one of the 129 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 3: things you said about living on your own and taking 130 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 3: that time for yourself, you do get a chance to 131 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 3: date yourself really like and get to know yourself. And 132 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 3: that's what I did when I was single and living 133 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 3: on my own for the first time. But I will 134 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 3: say it was scary. I was nervous. I was bored 135 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 3: sometimes because I was so uncomfortable being by myself. I 136 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 3: didn't have a lot of experience like that, and so 137 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 3: sometimes it's important for us to embrace the uncomfortable and 138 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 3: move through those feelings to kind of figure out what 139 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 3: do I need to learn here? And I had a 140 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 3: chance to learn so much about myself. And the other 141 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 3: thing dom that I would love to see, if you've witnessed, 142 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 3: is I love to observe other people's lives and get 143 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 3: lessons and glean wisdom from their experience instead of me 144 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 3: having to experience it. And what I've noticed is a 145 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 3: lot of women that I've had conversations with, they got 146 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 3: partnered very young, and they, you know, the next they 147 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 3: did the thing that they thought they had to do next, 148 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 3: which is get married and have kids. And now they're 149 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 3: in the stage where they're looking back and they're like, damn, 150 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 3: I didn't have it. I never lived on my own, 151 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 3: I never paid rent by myself. I never had a 152 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 3: chance to travel and relocate by myself, and they're craving 153 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 3: and desiring that now, or they find that their partner 154 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 3: probably isn't the one that they should have been with 155 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 3: right they're kind of in this space of oh, I 156 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 3: got with you when I was like seventeen, and I'm 157 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 3: not that same person. I've outgrown you, or they've just 158 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 3: outgrown a relationship because they grew up together and because 159 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,439 Speaker 3: that they had that experience so soon. Again, we all 160 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 3: have our own journeys, but they're now regretting not having 161 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 3: a chance to do them before they had children, or 162 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 3: to do them before they got partnered. So that's something 163 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 3: I've witnessed with many women, and so I think the lady, 164 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 3: if you're in a space in life where you're able 165 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 3: to do that, definitely prioritize that me time now, because 166 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 3: at least you can always look back and say, oh, 167 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 3: I did it, I've tried it, I know what that 168 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 3: was all about. You know, hey, lady, it's Terry here, 169 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 3: Dom and I want to take a moment to thank 170 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 3: you for choosing to listen to our We love you 171 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 3: for real, and we want to give you a chance 172 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,319 Speaker 3: to learn more about what's important to us. So tell 173 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 3: us what you think about this. 174 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 2: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get 175 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 2: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your 176 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 2: business brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine 177 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 2: joining our monthly virtual video check ins where you can 178 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,559 Speaker 2: connect with like minded black women like you and share 179 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 2: your ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, 180 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 2: I want you to imagine a world where you're in 181 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 2: the exclusive Cultivating her Space Sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout 182 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 2: your day and week, you are conversing with us about 183 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and 184 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 2: or personal wins. How does that sound? 185 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 3: Hopefully this is of your alley, lady, because we are 186 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 3: taking things to the next level of this year, and 187 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 3: we're doubling down on investing in our community. 188 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 2: That means you. 189 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 3: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create 190 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,560 Speaker 3: communities of genuine women who love on black women and 191 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 3: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast 192 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 3: in twenty nineteen, and to date we have not missed 193 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 3: a week. 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All right, lady, 208 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,119 Speaker 3: will hop right back into the conversation. 209 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 2: I think it is important to recognize, yeah, that everyone 210 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 2: is going to have a different life journey, and that 211 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 2: there are still ways in which you can carve out 212 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 2: time on your own based on your current circumstances. And 213 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,679 Speaker 2: that'll be another episode when we talk about how you 214 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 2: can carve out time when you have so when you're 215 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: being pulled in so many directions. Right, But I think 216 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 2: about this living on our own, and I'm curious, so 217 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 2: I know when I remember my experience of living on 218 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 2: my own, and I guess I also want to clarify 219 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 2: living on your own is how we're speaking about it 220 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 2: is twofold one the initial first act of moving out 221 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 2: of your family home, right, and or because those don't 222 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 2: always occur together living by yourself. And so because I 223 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 2: think about a lot of the college students that I 224 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 2: work with and that experience of moving on campus for 225 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 2: the first time, and like fresh out of high school 226 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:34,079 Speaker 2: and you've spent your life living in your family home 227 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,679 Speaker 2: and now you go to living in a dorm room 228 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 2: where you're sharing space. In these days, at least in California, 229 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 2: the way the housing situation is on these university campuses, 230 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 2: you have people living three people in a dorm room. 231 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 2: And so what is that like for someone who is 232 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 2: now going from living with their parents in their family 233 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 2: home to living on campus with other people? Or maybe 234 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 2: you move out and move out of your family home 235 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 2: and you're living with roommates in an apartment, and what 236 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 2: are all the things that go into making that decision 237 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 2: and then setting yourself up for success in that realm? So, te, 238 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 2: what was your experience like when you first moved out? 239 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 3: I would say, I'm trying to think of I'm not 240 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 3: I feel like the college experience. I think moving out 241 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 3: for college is like a whole other episode, we could 242 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 3: definitely go into the intricacies and the nuances that are 243 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 3: associated with that, because that's a whole different beast. I 244 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 3: would say when I think about moving out on my own, 245 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: like my first I moved out for college when I 246 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 3: was seventeen, But I think the first real move, like 247 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 3: on my own after graduation was when I moved to Maryland, 248 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 3: and that was definitely scary. It was exciting at the 249 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 3: same time, but it was also like, oh, damn. I 250 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 3: think the biggest thing for me too dumb when I 251 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 3: moved was Damn. I was so I've always had like 252 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 3: noise or people and stuff around me that now I 253 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 3: kind of have to meet myself and face myself and 254 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 3: figure out like who am I? Because I feel like 255 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 3: other people made so many decisions around me because I was, 256 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 3: you know, living with roommates or living with family, that 257 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 3: it was really up to me. And so I, yeah, 258 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 3: that's kind of what comes up from me when I 259 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 3: think about that particular experience. 260 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that that is something to think about 261 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 2: as like when everything is quiet, what happens in those 262 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 2: quiet moments? What comes up right? And what is that 263 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 2: like that first time that you're like, oh, wait, I'm 264 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 2: in this place by myself. I don't have any in 265 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 2: my family in here bothering me asking me fifth the questions. 266 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 2: And on one hand, as I'm saying it like that, 267 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 2: it sounds like I'm annoyed by it, right and so 268 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 2: and and when you're in it, yes, you might be right, right, 269 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 2: But the reality is that like in those first at 270 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 2: least my experience, is that in those first few weeks 271 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 2: maybe of being on your own, you miss that. 272 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: Yeah because it's comfortable. 273 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 2: It's so yeah, you get it's what you're used to. 274 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 2: So even if even if you don't like it, it's 275 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 2: what you're used to, right. And I think about like 276 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 2: my first experience, I mean, I moved out for college, 277 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 2: even though college was in the same city. Like after 278 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 2: that first semester, I was like, I need to be 279 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 2: I'm loving college like I need to be in the norm. 280 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 2: And my junior year, some friends and I got an 281 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 2: apartment together and so so for me, I had like 282 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 2: multiple different components of that journey. So it was the 283 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 2: first move out on campus, which you know that's still 284 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 2: kind of like a controlled environment, right, But then getting 285 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,640 Speaker 2: an apartment with friends and that process of searching for 286 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 2: like having to find places and agree on a place together, right, 287 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 2: Like we're having to go and look at places and say, okay, 288 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 2: well this is what I want. This is how much 289 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 2: rent I'm willing that I can afford to pay, Like 290 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,160 Speaker 2: negotiating all of those things, right, Who's going to have 291 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:41,119 Speaker 2: the larger bedroom? Like all of those conversations. Right. But 292 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 2: then when I graduated undergrad and was moving to Georgia 293 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 2: for graduate school, that first year I lived on my own. 294 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: Every year after that I had roommates but or housemates, 295 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 2: But that first year it was me on my own, 296 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 2: and I remember really enjoying it because it felt well, 297 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 2: one I'll say the move was was interesting because I 298 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 2: have a village, like I always have, had a village 299 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 2: of friends and family who like support me, and so 300 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 2: it felt like a little caravan of folks of folks 301 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:27,119 Speaker 2: helping me make this move. But I also didn't have money, 302 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 2: like I was broke, and so having to figure out 303 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 2: like furniture and like how am I going to furniture 304 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 2: this apartment because I wasn't bringing any furniture with me 305 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 2: from where I lived in my you know, in college, 306 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 2: because also again I was broke, and so the furniture 307 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 2: that I had in that apartment in college. A lot 308 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 2: of the furniture that we had we got second hand, 309 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 2: and so some of that stuff was like, one, I'm 310 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 2: giving it back. Some of the stuff in my personal 311 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 2: beak was like, I'm giving this back to my mom 312 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 2: and my siblings because they could use it, right. Some 313 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 2: of the other stuff we were like, we're going to donate, 314 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 2: Like that was in the common spaces. We were like, 315 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 2: we're going to donate. Like I remember our entertainment center 316 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 2: for our television was made of like wood and cinder 317 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 2: blocks like that. We spray painted and decorated and made 318 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 2: our own. And that's the type of stuff that you do, 319 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 2: like you get creative and resourceful when when you're first 320 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 2: figuring this out, it doesn't. I think that's a good 321 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 2: reminder that it doesn't have to be HGTV worthy, right, 322 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,680 Speaker 2: that it's what works for you. 323 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 3: That's a really really good point down And I feel 324 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 3: like people underestimate how much furniture is because furniture can 325 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,439 Speaker 3: be expensive, especially when you have when you bougie and 326 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 3: you blatch it like us, because we want to have this, 327 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 3: I do want it to be hg you know, worthy, right, 328 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 3: I do, but there is a phase in the journey 329 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,919 Speaker 3: sometimes where it may not be that you may have 330 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 3: to build up to that. So I think that's a 331 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 3: really really good point. And Lady, we're going to jump 332 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 3: into some of the I want to say, like the 333 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 3: pro tips and best practices for moving into location, or 334 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 3: like living on your own for the first time, and 335 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 3: we'll drop some of that some more of that old 336 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 3: head and elder wisdom throughout this conversation. But one of 337 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 3: the first things that we think is really important is 338 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 3: to just get all of your pertinent documents in order. 339 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 3: I know that some of us may have had, you know, 340 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 3: Mama and them that had your birth certificate and your 341 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 3: social and they kept it in that little briefcase under 342 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 3: the bed or wherever they kept it, you know, at 343 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 3: your house. But if you're moving on your own, it's 344 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 3: important to have those items. And I know for me personally, 345 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 3: I love to have some type of secure safe at home. 346 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 3: I definitely have one in college, this big chest, but 347 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:01,879 Speaker 3: there's also this little book that looks like a looks 348 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 3: like a textbook. It's a little smaller, but it looks 349 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,399 Speaker 3: like a textbook. But when you open it it's actually 350 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 3: a safe you can put your stuff in there, so 351 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,760 Speaker 3: I love to I gifted my sisters with that when 352 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 3: they relocated because I just thought it would be a 353 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,199 Speaker 3: great way for you to hide some if you're a 354 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 3: pertinent item. So that goes for your social right. You 355 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 3: got to get your birth certificate, your license for the 356 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 3: new area. It's always nice to have a pass for it. 357 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 3: I'm just saying, like, get your passport, lady, so you 358 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 3: can be just setting voter registration. You need to update 359 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 3: your mailing address, update your car insurance. 360 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 2: You have a. 361 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,160 Speaker 3: Car and your we already set license, right, and then 362 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 3: changing your address with any bill payers, doctor's office, post office, 363 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 3: all that stuff, get your address forwarded or your mail forwarded, 364 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 3: anything else down. When it comes to the pertinent documents. 365 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 2: No, I think those are the major ones, right, is 366 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 2: just making sure, like the key thing with your pertinent 367 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,199 Speaker 2: documents is making sure one that you have copies of 368 00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:00,480 Speaker 2: all of those things, right, yes, and then too making 369 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 2: sure that things are up to date so that people 370 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 2: can find you when they need you, and that you 371 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:11,159 Speaker 2: can get all the things that you need sent to you. 372 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 3: Exactly because when you think about some of the other 373 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 3: things that we're going to share later. You will likely 374 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 3: need to have those documents in order to tackle some 375 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 3: of the other stuff that we want to share with you. 376 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 2: Right, And I think the other thing to note too, 377 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 2: is that you want to also be aware of the 378 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,919 Speaker 2: state that you live what the laws are, and especially 379 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 2: if you're moving to a new state, you want to 380 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 2: be aware of what the laws are regarding registering your 381 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 2: car and updating your car insurance and having your address 382 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 2: up to date on your driver's license. Some states are 383 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 2: stricter than others, so you want to make sure that 384 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 2: that before you make that move, you know what the 385 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 2: laws are. 386 00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 3: The lady, we realize again that everyone is not going 387 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 3: to be being on their own. Some people are in 388 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 3: stages in life, especially with the pandemic and the way 389 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 3: the economists are that where you're like, you know what, girl, 390 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,119 Speaker 3: that's cute, and I'm going to do that in the future, 391 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 3: but I'm moving into my boot thing and it's just 392 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:11,840 Speaker 3: it is what it is, and it happens, and I 393 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,440 Speaker 3: get it right. I've been in that space in my 394 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 3: journey at one point as well, and I want to 395 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,160 Speaker 3: just drop one of those other, you know, wisdom pieces 396 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 3: from the elders here, and it's to always have your 397 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 3: own or have the ability to get your own. I 398 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 3: think that is so important. That is something my grandfather 399 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,920 Speaker 3: used to always tell me. He was like, I can't 400 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 3: say exactly what he said because we want have to 401 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 3: share their own Patreon, but he basically said, you go out. 402 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 3: Whenever you go out with a ninja, you make sure 403 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 3: you have your own car fair to get home when 404 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 3: you're out there, so you don't get stranded. Because you 405 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 3: know how sometimes or people can do right Like you 406 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 3: know how people get like to switch it up on you. 407 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 3: So you always make sure that you have your own 408 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 3: So whether that's a private bank account where you're stacking 409 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 3: up your own money in case somebody want to act 410 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 3: a little funny, you always have a route and an 411 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 3: escape plan because and to me, Dom, I don't know 412 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,439 Speaker 3: how you feel about this, it's not necessarily about you know, 413 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 3: having trust issues or not being it's worthy. But I 414 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 3: think part of the quote of the day is always 415 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 3: taking care of yourself and knowing that you know someone 416 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 3: may be down to take care of you today, but 417 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 3: just knowing that things can change. People change, right, life, 418 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 3: circumstances change. Life is unpredictable, and so having the ability 419 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 3: and the means to get yourself back up in case 420 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 3: something happens. I believe that's so important as women and 421 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 3: especially as Black women. 422 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that. Yeah, I think that that's a 423 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 2: good point that us saying. Having your own is not 424 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:34,119 Speaker 2: about approaching it from an antagonistic standpoint or not, or 425 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 2: approaching it from an expectation that things are gonna that 426 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:44,160 Speaker 2: the relationship won't work. It's about being smart and recognizing 427 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 2: one that marriage and relationships are business, and so, you know, 428 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 2: even folks with the best of intentions who are fully 429 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 2: in love, things change, Life happens, and so and it 430 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 2: might not even be a divorce. Might be that your 431 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 2: spouse dies, right, or it might be that your spouse 432 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 2: becomes disabled and is no longer able to provide financially. 433 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 2: So you never, like you really truly never know. And 434 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 2: so it's about being smart and planning. 435 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,120 Speaker 3: I'll be right now. Shall we dive into number two? 436 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:29,400 Speaker 2: Number two? 437 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 3: Yes, Oh, this is a good one. Gets your money 438 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 3: in order. 439 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am, get it together. So you want to know, 440 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 2: like you want to ask yourself, like you want to 441 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,359 Speaker 2: pay attention to well, first of all, lady, if you 442 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 2: are moving because you just got that new job, congrats 443 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 2: to you, book congreres. We are excited for you, and 444 00:25:54,640 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 2: we hope that you negotiated a salary that you feel 445 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 2: is going to be able to take care of your needs. 446 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 2: And that'll be a whole other episode about salary negotiation. Right. 447 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,920 Speaker 2: But once you know what your new income, your incoming 448 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:19,200 Speaker 2: income will be, you want to be aware of how 449 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 2: much of it is coming in, where is it coming from. So, yeahger, 450 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 2: you got that new job, but are you like a 451 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 2: lot of us out here, and you have another side 452 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 2: hustle that or another income stream that's coming in. So 453 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 2: you want to know where all of your money is 454 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 2: coming from. And there are apps for that. The good 455 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 2: thing about folks who are moving out on their own 456 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 2: for the first time in this time is that there 457 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 2: are lots of apps to help you. They ain't have 458 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,359 Speaker 2: all that when I was moving out for the first time. 459 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 2: We will still paper and pin in it, so there 460 00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 2: and just really learning how to use like the tool 461 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 2: the online tools. So you want to also think about 462 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 2: like also what are your expenses? So, yeah, you got 463 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 2: this new place, but how much is your rent? Are 464 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 2: you in a place where utilities are included in your rent, 465 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 2: But if not, what are your utilities? Do you have 466 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 2: to pay that water bill? Because I know in some 467 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 2: places where I have previously lived that water bill was 468 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 2: a full Oakland, California, I'm calling you out. That water 469 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 2: bill was ridiculous, and so you want to be aware 470 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 2: of that. Right do you pay electricity? Do you pay gas? 471 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 2: For those of us living in California At the time 472 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 2: that we're recording this episode, we're coming off of folks 473 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 2: having extremely high gas bills that most weren't really for 474 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 2: that most weren't expecting because it was out of the ordinary, 475 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:07,560 Speaker 2: and so knowing what your expenses are, honestly, I would 476 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,919 Speaker 2: say that most of those think most of those bills 477 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 2: you can have one automatic bill paid to make your 478 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:18,159 Speaker 2: life easier. For those who are paying electricity bills, a 479 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 2: lot of places nowadays allow you. A lot of electric 480 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 2: companies nowadays allow you to have budget billing so that 481 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 2: your bill will be the same thing every month. So 482 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 2: those are the things that you want to think of. 483 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,400 Speaker 2: You also want to pay attention to your credit score 484 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 2: because your credit score has an impact on will you 485 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 2: have to pay a deposit to get any of your 486 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 2: utilities started. It'll have an impact depending on where you're moving, 487 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 2: on how much your security deposit will be, or if 488 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 2: you have to pay a security deposit, you may A 489 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 2: higher credit score gives you more access to places that 490 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 2: might fit your bougie tastes. You also want to look 491 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 2: at having renters insurance. I can't stress it enough that 492 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 2: I am so grateful for the people in my life 493 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 2: who from the very beginning told me, no, ma'am you 494 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 2: moving into an apartment, like you need renters insurance, like 495 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 2: you never know, get you some renters insurance and it's 496 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,719 Speaker 2: not that expensive. It would be worth it. Another thing 497 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 2: to consider is life insurance. So talk to your insurance 498 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 2: carrier and see what your options are. But you want 499 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 2: to make sure that you have things to make to 500 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 2: take care of you financially. I love that. Dom. 501 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 3: I want to add when you talked about automatic bill 502 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 3: pay and made me think about having automatic savings as well. 503 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 3: I know sometimes savings for us and be like, oh, 504 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 3: I gotta say, you're gotta take this one out of 505 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 3: my check. Just have it automatically taken out so you 506 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 3: can build up your emergency savings and your savings account 507 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 3: just in general. And then the other thing I would 508 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 3: add is, lady, this is a lot of stuff that 509 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 3: we're covering today. We've said this on the podcast before, 510 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 3: but we are users of a sauna, and no this 511 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 3: is not sponsored. I just used to work there and 512 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 3: I'm obsessed with a sauna, and we use it for 513 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 3: the podcast. 514 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 4: I use it for. 515 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 3: Everything in life, and it's a good place to just 516 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,360 Speaker 3: store all of the information in one space, so you 517 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,520 Speaker 3: can have your rent, you can just see everything across 518 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 3: the board for your life in one spot, versus having 519 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 3: to go to different places to find that information. So 520 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,280 Speaker 3: that was number two. Now we're going to move on 521 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 3: to number three, which is find your personal care and 522 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 3: maintenance needs. Now, I don't know about you, ladies, but 523 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 3: I've definitely moved to various cities solo, and I was 524 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 3: always on Yelp or googling a GIN or PCP primary 525 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 3: care physician that looked like me. That's always the priority. 526 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 3: I'm always trying to fight like what a black doctor 527 00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 3: is at right, So doctors prescriptions, your dentists, your hairstylist, 528 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 3: y'all know how we are about our hair, right. You 529 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 3: got to find the person who's going to hook your 530 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 3: hair up, but not snatch your edges out right, So 531 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,160 Speaker 3: you gotta look at the reviews, look at the pictures, 532 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 3: all that, the nail shop, esthetician, mechanic therapists, just different 533 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 3: things to think about. Ideally even before you move to 534 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 3: the area. I always love to also call the businesses 535 00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 3: that I find, just to see what vibe you get 536 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 3: from the person who answers, maybe ask some questions, just 537 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 3: to see, like, is it going to be a good 538 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 3: fit for me? Look at the reviews. That's just yeah, 539 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 3: those are a couple of things that I like to do. 540 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 3: Maybe even the grocery store, see which grocery store is 541 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 3: closer if you use Instacart like I do. Again, this 542 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 3: is not sponsored. I'm just a fan. Although insta card 543 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 3: send us a check. We're down for that, okay, Just 544 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 3: trying to figure out, right, like where are the stores 545 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 3: that you're going to frequent? 546 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 2: And I think the thing too with all of those 547 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 2: is recognize be patient with yourself and recognize that it 548 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 2: will take time. That you know, I read somewhere that 549 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 2: it takes when you move to a new city that 550 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 2: it takes two years to really find your groove, find 551 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 2: your like, find that sweet spy, find your flow right 552 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 2: where I am currently. I've been here for a year, 553 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,600 Speaker 2: so there are things that I am still figuring out 554 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 2: and some of it and a lot of it can 555 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 2: be trial and error. Right when I first moved here, 556 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 2: there was one nail shop that I went to and 557 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 2: I was like, I mean, y'all fit my bougie aesthetic 558 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 2: with your prices, ain't right? Like y'all, y'all, y'all doing 559 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 2: the most of this area right. And then it took 560 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,040 Speaker 2: and you know, it's your nails, right, So you're like, 561 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to get my nails jacked up. But 562 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,720 Speaker 2: it took trial and error to find a shop that 563 00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 2: worked for me, right, And so let's get giving yourself 564 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,880 Speaker 2: that patience, having that grace and that patience with yourself 565 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 2: and know that you don't have to stick with that 566 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 2: place once you find it. Like like I said, that 567 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 2: first spot, I was like, oh, this is cool. Everybody 568 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 2: in there was treated me well. I just wasn't feeling 569 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 2: the delivery of the of the service, Like my nails 570 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 2: just weren't what I was, That wasn't what I was 571 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 2: used to. So I had to move around and find 572 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 2: something new and that's okay, and it can be frustrating 573 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 2: because you like when you're moving from something that you're 574 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 2: comfortable with, that you're used to, it can be hard 575 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 2: to figure out the new stuff. But in time you 576 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 2: will and it'll be fine. The other thing that I 577 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,000 Speaker 2: would suggest as you're trying to find your person, the 578 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 2: folks who are going to meet your personal care and 579 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 2: maintenance needs, is to check in with your black coworkers 580 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 2: because obviously, if they've been there for a while, they 581 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,160 Speaker 2: got it. I would hope that they would know the 582 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 2: spots to go to. So check in with check in 583 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 2: with your people and see what they say, see what 584 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 2: they suggest. That is good stuff, dumb Okay, ladies, We 585 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,520 Speaker 2: have just a couple more that we're going to dive into. 586 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,560 Speaker 2: I would say number five is my favorite because it's 587 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 2: all about how we can get connected with people that 588 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 2: are like minded. So before we jump into that and 589 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 2: give you the tea on our best practices there, we're 590 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,799 Speaker 2: going to jump into number four, which is social services. 591 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 2: So learn more about what's offered than any benefits that 592 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 2: you might qualify for in your area. So you can 593 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,839 Speaker 2: search for departs in my area on Google. You can 594 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,920 Speaker 2: look at human services on Google and that will probably 595 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 2: show you everything from housing assistants, right, do you need 596 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,600 Speaker 2: to get some housing assistants? Do you need childcare assistance? 597 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 2: Do you need food stamps? Do you need a transportation subsidy, 598 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 2: health insurance support, career advisement or career coaching. A lot 599 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 2: of local colleges and universities offer that as well, some 600 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 2: even if you're not a student. So just looking into 601 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,160 Speaker 2: the area and kind of figure out what can I 602 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,759 Speaker 2: tap into by way of resources that could be super 603 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,719 Speaker 2: helpful for you. And I know I tap you to 604 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 2: plenty over the course of my life, so it can 605 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,800 Speaker 2: be clutch. And I think the other thing too to 606 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 2: think about is that even if you aren't going to 607 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:21,320 Speaker 2: use those services, knowing that they are there in the 608 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:27,239 Speaker 2: event that you need them is important to It's important 609 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 2: and it also kind of gives you a sense of 610 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 2: an idea of that community that you're moving into. How 611 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:42,279 Speaker 2: well resourced is this area right? And is this an 612 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 2: area that has the support that I would need in 613 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:50,799 Speaker 2: other areas, because if they're lacking and providing like housing assistance, 614 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,640 Speaker 2: childcare assistance, that lets you know that that area might 615 00:35:55,800 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 2: not be resourced enough. If you were in me, So 616 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,959 Speaker 2: tea our favorite one, our favorite one. 617 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:06,239 Speaker 3: Shall we hop on in? 618 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:12,279 Speaker 2: Yes? Yes? Right now? Number five? What is it? What 619 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 2: is it finding a community and getting to know your 620 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:21,280 Speaker 2: new city. I think this is well. I'll speak for myself. 621 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,000 Speaker 2: This is my favorite out of all the tips because 622 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 2: it's challenging. So I know that a lot of us, 623 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 2: I say us because I'm included in this, sometimes are 624 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:42,239 Speaker 2: hesitant to engage socially when we don't know what we're 625 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 2: walking into. And so the cool thing about being in 626 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 2: a new city is that you get to explore. You 627 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,440 Speaker 2: get to figure out what makes this city such a 628 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,360 Speaker 2: dope place. I mean, or maybe you find out that 629 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 2: it's not so dope and you're like, all right, this 630 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 2: is gonna be my temp This is a temporary, temporary thing, right. 631 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:13,400 Speaker 2: But part of that finding your community is important for 632 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:18,400 Speaker 2: your mental health. Yes, I can't stress how important it 633 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,600 Speaker 2: is to have community, to have a group of folks 634 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:28,320 Speaker 2: that you feel connected to where you live, outside of 635 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:33,839 Speaker 2: the people in your household, but particularly if you live alone. Yeah, 636 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 2: it's so important. And lady, you're listening and you're like, 637 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,359 Speaker 2: all right, So Dom and t y'all are telling us 638 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 2: we need to we need to find community, but how 639 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 2: do we do it when we don't know anybody. 640 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 3: We got you, girl, We got you. I'm gonna give 641 00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,880 Speaker 3: you a couple examples. So when I moved to Salisbury, Maryland, 642 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 3: you know, in addition to being in grad school where 643 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,359 Speaker 3: I connected with folks, church was also a great place 644 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,359 Speaker 3: for me to connect with people. 645 00:37:58,920 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: Church. 646 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,120 Speaker 3: When I moved to Queens, New York meetups, it was 647 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,520 Speaker 3: so awkward because I was by myself and I was like, 648 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I don't know how it's going to be. 649 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,000 Speaker 3: But you it's kind of like a relationship. You just 650 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 3: got to go out there, see what works. Don't give 651 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,440 Speaker 3: up after the first time. Right, I had a chance 652 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,959 Speaker 3: to go to meetups, meetup dot com and just search 653 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 3: for different groups of like minded people like me and 654 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 3: go out and I got it. Had a chance to 655 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 3: meet people. Another one is just looking at local events. 656 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,719 Speaker 2: In your area. So whether it's I think it's event right, right, 657 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:25,680 Speaker 2: you can get an event right. 658 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 3: I've done. When I was in Tampa, I did some 659 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:31,000 Speaker 3: pole dancing classes, met some people there. When I moved 660 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,000 Speaker 3: to the Bay, Oakland, you know, hit up my girls 661 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,759 Speaker 3: at Free to Cheeks did to work class there, right, 662 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 3: Don and I did that together. Before you can go, 663 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,320 Speaker 3: you know, think about different niches in niche communities. So 664 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,720 Speaker 3: if you're an artist, look at artists communities, skating communities. 665 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,640 Speaker 3: I have a couple friends that are into skating and 666 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,680 Speaker 3: they link up around that a chess club or gaming 667 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:54,120 Speaker 3: or knitting, whatever your interests might be. Check those communities 668 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,840 Speaker 3: out in your area to see how you can connect 669 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:56,280 Speaker 3: with folks. 670 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 2: Yes, and I would agree with that. And again give 671 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 2: yourself time, yes, to find that community that. Remember, it takes. 672 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,520 Speaker 2: It will take a couple of years before you feel 673 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 2: fully solid in your new place. And that's okay, and 674 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,920 Speaker 2: that's normal, all right, t So you want to run 675 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:22,399 Speaker 2: through them. 676 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,759 Speaker 3: Yes, you're going to do a quick recap down before 677 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:25,640 Speaker 3: we go to the after show. 678 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:32,919 Speaker 2: Yes, all right. So tips for living on your own, 679 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:38,839 Speaker 2: living your best life. First tip, get all of your 680 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 2: pertinent documents together. You won't be able to do nothing 681 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:48,399 Speaker 2: without most of these documents right here. Second tip, get 682 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:54,400 Speaker 2: your money in order, because again you need money to 683 00:39:54,520 --> 00:40:01,239 Speaker 2: make things happen. Number three, find your personal care and 684 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 2: maintenance support group, so you build that team of folks 685 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 2: who will keep you together. Number four inquire about social 686 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:21,920 Speaker 2: services and number five find a community and get to 687 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,800 Speaker 2: know your city or area. 688 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 3: But I love it and Lady Real Quick Domini are 689 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 3: going to head on out and we're going to record 690 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,000 Speaker 3: the after show, which is a little bit of a 691 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:36,200 Speaker 3: behind the scenes feel of our ideas, our thoughts on 692 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,320 Speaker 3: the topic, and some other stuff. So you got to 693 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 3: sign up to see what that's about. So visit our 694 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:44,360 Speaker 3: website personallyspodcast dot com, click on Wisdom Wenesday Withitaria at 695 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,840 Speaker 3: the top, and visit us on Patreon for exclusive content 696 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,040 Speaker 3: including video content and really Quick Lady. Just as a reminder, 697 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 3: we are a black founded, black funded and black. 698 00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 2: What's the other word? 699 00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:00,800 Speaker 3: Don owned owned There we go and black owned podcasts 700 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,920 Speaker 3: for Black women for us by us. So go to 701 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,200 Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts. Leave us a five star review if you 702 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,080 Speaker 3: enjoyed this content, and I do want to shout out 703 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 3: two of our latest reviews. Y'allo leaving reviews and we 704 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:15,439 Speaker 3: appreciate you, so shout out to Natasha Nicole. Natasha said 705 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 3: here to stay, I am present. I have pulled up 706 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,960 Speaker 3: my chair and I have my opinonopat out honey, lol. 707 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,520 Speaker 3: I just started listening yesterday on my way to work, 708 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,480 Speaker 3: got off and continued listening at the gym. Got to 709 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,360 Speaker 3: go to Apple Podcasts to listen to the rest or 710 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,680 Speaker 3: watch or read the rest of Natasha's review there. But 711 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,960 Speaker 3: I also want to just give another shout out to 712 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,400 Speaker 3: Cole Cod butter Beanball, who says the Big Sisters I 713 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 3: knew I needed. I'm a new listener and only needed 714 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,879 Speaker 3: to hear one episode to be sucked in. The one 715 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 3: I started with was about friendships and learning about who 716 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 3: is here for a reason, season or lifetime. 717 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,840 Speaker 2: Remember that episode. I love that episode. 718 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,560 Speaker 3: We appreciate y'all so much. Thank you for supporting and 719 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,520 Speaker 3: we're going to go record the after show so we'll 720 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:56,279 Speaker 3: see you next week. 721 00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:01,920 Speaker 2: Hey, hey, lady, is doctor dom here from the Cultivating 722 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,880 Speaker 2: her Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the 723 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:11,080 Speaker 2: state of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, 724 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,360 Speaker 2: if so, please reach out to me at doctor Dominique 725 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,399 Speaker 2: Brusard dot com. 726 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:21,960 Speaker 5: That's d R D O M I N I q 727 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:27,760 Speaker 5: U E B R O U S s ar D dot. 728 00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:32,600 Speaker 2: Com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look 729 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 2: forward to hearing from you. Thanks for joining us today. 730 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:43,640 Speaker 2: Please Note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice, 731 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 2: self empowerment, and mental health, but is by no means 732 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:52,399 Speaker 2: meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship 733 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:56,480 Speaker 2: with a trained mental health provider. If you are someone 734 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,880 Speaker 2: you know is in need of mental health care, please 735 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:05,040 Speaker 2: visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology Today or 736 00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:06,880 Speaker 2: contact your insurance provider. 737 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,920 Speaker 3: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 738 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,840 Speaker 3: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and 739 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:17,839 Speaker 3: Twitter at herspace podcast or check out our website at 740 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 3: herspace podcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat 741 00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:26,320 Speaker 3: after me. I attract abundance and prosperity with ease