WEBVTT - Daddy for Mayor 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:16.880 I got. Hello, Welcome to We Knows Parenting. I'm bet 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:20.960 Newell and with me is my little husband Rick Nney. 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:29.880 That was not cute. I'm Peter McNerney. God forbid you'd 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:34.560 be cute. I'm never cute. I'm a man spectacled voice. 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:41.800 Back on. We are your host to talk about kids 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:50.560 and a pretty busy week here, I'd say, so number 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:54.360 one numerous. You know Halloween. Oh, you think that's the 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:57.160 biggest thing that happened this week. I don't know. There's 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:03.560 so much. Um, I think of thing that's bigger than Halloween. What. Oh, 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:11.360 we have a new nephewinginging guests of the pod, my 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:17.959 little brother Sam sister from Law Race to the Life 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:25.600 Creator herself burned a baby early, beautiful boy. Let's not 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.720 give all of his details. Social Security a way. I 0:01:28.720 --> 0:01:32.720 know you are so tempted to Social Security may or 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:36.240 may not be number number number. I know you are 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:40.640 on your way to listening his full name and street address, 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:46.920 and um, we face time with him tonight. You did 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:54.680 are you jealous? What did he say? He said? He said, 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.080 I'm a baby that was born early and I'm so 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:00.440 tiny and I'm swimming in my one You know, I'm 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:03.160 in my car seat and I'm dead asleep, but I 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:07.520 still look exactly like your little brother, Sam. Man. That 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:10.200 baby has no idea how hard I'm going to sniff 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:20.160 his head. God, they're so tiny. It's such a little baby. 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:24.440 Oh my god. Um, I don't yeah, I can't even 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:29.000 process that right now. The baby is home. Everyone's healthy, 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:33.680 racist family, a lot of family. Her mom's got in 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:38.160 town from Bosnia. Um, we're staying away because there's a 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.240 lot of people around the recovery. We're not We're not 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.960 into girl to the recovery. We would definitely just be 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:48.000 a distraction from taking care of the baby. There's plenty. 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:51.880 But boy, I want to go. I know I want 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:54.520 to see the baby, but I also just want I 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:59.840 want race to sleep, to sleep, a real sleep, the 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:05.240 sleep of human beings where multiple hours passed um like 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:10.440 I just accidentally did before this recording. I fell asleep, 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:16.919 you did, and you woke up like it was as 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:20.680 you had a real moment, like a spiritual experience when 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:23.360 you fell asleep in the bed, and then I left 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:26.000 you to relax for a second, and then I walked 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:31.520 back in and you you woke up like a toddler 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:35.680 wakes up from a nap. You were like, you were 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.680 like arching your bag and like getting into You're like 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:43.240 standing on your feet practically. You're like, what is sleep? Like? 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:50.280 You're so you're drooling. I was drooling a lot. You 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:54.200 had a really abrupt I was panic because I didn't 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:59.000 plan to fall asleep. Yeah, it was scary. You never 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.000 ceased to milk one of those moments for its full 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:08.760 dramatic potential. See, you've always accused me of being overly dramatic. 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:13.400 And when I like, but You're like, it's just you've 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:18.239 you've been around Brent our kids, right, Yeah, who learned 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:23.000 it from you? That's just how his face works, how 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:30.680 what he thinks and fields. Just he's mimicking his examples, 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:35.039 which includes on a genetic level, he is. This is 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:40.040 how we are, baby. We're expressive. It's nurture. Baby. Hey, 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:46.960 this expressiveness is pays pays our bills. We we I'm 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:50.800 making faces. Can you see it? They go showing up 0:04:51.880 --> 0:05:00.080 money making sounds like this mug um. But in the 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:07.760 the spirit of mimicry, Our kids have rewatched the Charlie 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:13.320 Brown Halloween movie called Something About the Great Pumpkin, Great 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:16.560 Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Yeah, they've rewatched it a couple of 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:22.119 times now, and they've picked up some bizarre slang from 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:28.480 the nineteen fifties or sixties, and so last night there's 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.480 there's been a lot of like fighting and bickering between 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:35.400 them lately for any and all reasons. Yeah, And so 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.960 they kept I would overhear them talking and they'd be like, 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:43.039 if you don't do this, I'm going to pound you. 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:48.839 And they kept they kept threatening to pound each other, 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:51.960 like maybe they both do it seriously, and Brenn will 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:53.640 be like, well, if you do that, I'm gonna pound you. 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:58.320 And then and they clearly don't know what pound me. 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:01.560 They were like sucking it out and they were like 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:04.880 they clearly are, like they know it's like a threat. 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:09.440 But then and you were like, it's hashtag idiots. They like, 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:12.480 they really a lot of the slang from this movie 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:15.520 has resonated with them. They've been saying rats a lot. 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:20.359 They're like rats and then encourage rats. Yeah, rats is fine. 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:24.719 And then they're saying, um, sorry, I'm just leaking at 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:28.440 my notes which are not opening there. Okay, they're saying, oh, 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:33.000 so Brin was Keet saying he's like, you've got to 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:37.280 stop that, you blockhead, and like every sentence he said 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.160 would be punctuated by blockhead. But he clearly thought it 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.080 was like a funny thing to say, so you kind 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.360 of laugh, and honestly, it would kind of lighten the 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:47.640 mood of all of his confrontations, because he's been very 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:53.839 dramatically confrontational lately. And he'll be like, you're a bad mommy. 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:55.800 If you don't do this, you're not going to be 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.880 watched TV this weekend. And he's like he's turning, he's 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:04.120 using our language on us. Um, I can't tell you 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:08.680 the argument that we had in the car today. He 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:14.440 was something about butts and farts. He's like, daddy teachers. 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.840 Some of the teachers said, I thought it was really 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:20.640 funny my thought about farts, and I wasn't fully listening, 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:23.600 and then I tuned in and I was like, wait, 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:27.080 you're dear. So you think your your teachers like it 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:30.200 when you talk about butts and farts And he's like, yeah, 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:33.760 most of them. I'm like, I find that hard to believe. 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:37.720 He's probably right, and then he and then he goes, yeah, 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:43.960 my teacher said to not ask her about it. I go, well, 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:47.320 you know a parent teacher conferences are coming up. I'm 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:51.920 gonna ask her about it. And he goes, no, they 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:55.240 said the rules are you're not allowed to ask. If 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.320 you ask, the police will come get you and put 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:01.520 you in jail. And so then I just was go 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:04.280 to him on and I was like, it's not against 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:07.800 the law, it's against the rules. There's a difference because 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:12.400 he goes school has laws. Daddy's school has laws. You 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:14.480 can't ask. I'm like, well, I'm gonna ask. You go 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.760 to jail. Like, well, then I'll go to jail, but 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:20.280 I'm gonna ask. He started getting so upset, and then 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:26.040 finally he goes, um, I don't ask. Um, Okay, they 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:32.680 don't like farts and butts. I lied, I said, I know, 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:38.120 they don't like tell the truth. He goes, okay, oh, 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:39.920 there's a whole there's another shure. It's going to tell you, 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.400 but first I'll tell you that he threatened to call 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.800 the police on me this weekend. And I said, well, 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.280 what if I call the police on you? And he 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:52.120 said kids can't go to jail. And I did tell 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:54.600 him that, and then he repeated this outside because our 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:57.600 neighbor who is almost exactly Brind's age, was walking up 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.320 the stairs with him coming in from outside, and he 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.720 was like, they were like just talking about some fantasy, 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.480 nonsense five year old stuff and they're like, and then 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:10.000 he'll go to jail and die. And then and they're 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.160 like just like trying to say like the craziest things 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:14.400 they can think of, and then they'll put his butt 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.560 in jail. And brand was like, kids can't go to jail. 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:21.920 Like this is this his new this is his theme song. 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:24.520 Kids can't go to down, Kids can't go to jail. 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.200 I tried it hard, but they wouldn't let me in. 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.280 Now kids can't go to jail. According according to his 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.160 version of events, he has tried. He pulled the fire 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:35.679 alarm and they threatened to put him in jail at school. 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:39.600 That is when I told him because he said that 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:42.160 he lied to the police. I don't even know if 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:44.280 he talked to the police, but I told him he 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.040 should not lie to the police, and that he goes 0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:48.840 that anyone of the jail and I said, they won't 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:50.240 put you in jail. They're not going to put the 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:52.960 little kid in jail. So now he's bragging about how 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:56.560 kids going to jail. Here's one of the major stories 0:09:56.600 --> 0:10:00.240 over weekend, which I haven't told you, is that they 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:04.640 I got home so Sunday morning, I realized that Brenna 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:08.320 didn't have skating, and I had a very scant couple 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.360 of hours to escape and try to do the mountains 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:15.280 of work I have to do. And I came home 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:20.199 a little frazzled, and my children were very stir crazy 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.680 from being inside all day, and the house was a disaster, 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:27.920 and they both were too edgy to get dressed in 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:32.600 any sort of logical, rational way. They were both the 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:37.080 most difficult people ever um and when I would step 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:39.040 away from them a second to like clear my head 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.640 and like put things away, they would like come immediately 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:45.240 trying to undo what I'm doing, or start fights with 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.640 each other, or just like be horrible. So I kept 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:50.439 having to pull them apart and like try to calm 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.480 one down while the other one was like creating pure chaos. 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.440 And then I was with Maven and Brinda was in 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.640 the kitchen and I was trying to get her dressed, 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:02.800 and she was like continually naked, but like putting on 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.199 mittens because I was trying to put the mittens away, 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.800 you know, like just like annoying and she so then 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.559 I calm her down. I get her to like finally 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:15.760 start picking out real clothes, like I have to get 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:18.200 you guys out of this apartment or you're gonna murder 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:22.880 me in my sleep. And then Brent, I go walk 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:25.760 into the kitchen. Brent's standing on the counter trying to 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.040 do something he's not supposed to do, and he spots 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:35.560 me startles and not fully standing on the counter, falls 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.280 off the counter onto the ground, rolls on his side, 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:43.480 slams his head into the ground, has like a big bruise, 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.560 and then he starts pulling a you, which is like 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.880 wandering around the apartment crying to himself, like recovering, and 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:58.800 then just like doing gentle sobs like circles around there. Wow. 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.439 You know, sometimes people will actually feel what they feel 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.560 and their faces showing what they actually feel. I did 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.000 think that's what he felt, but he was like I 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:10.360 would I would be comforting him, and then he'd wander 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:15.040 away and then he would just like there. It was 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.960 just he told me this story lightly he and he 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.880 told me this bump, it's not better tonight, he goes, 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:25.440 it's not better it won't be better for fifty days. 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:31.400 That's how long the of this bump takes to get better. Well, 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.880 it just it happened on the tail of just like 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:40.400 so many many examples of me telling them to not 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:43.640 do things that we're gonna hurt them or bother them, 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:47.400 and just them both ignoring me. And so I was 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.440 at that point and as a parent where you're kind 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:54.520 of like, you see, go bump your head, idiot, but 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:57.440 like I was kind of like I don't want to 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.480 like rub it in while he's crying. But there's points 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:03.760 where he was recovered as like do you understand why 0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:05.440 you should listen to me when I am telling you 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:09.839 not to do dangerous things? And like it's just really 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:12.720 you trying to find those moments because you you, you 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.880 it's not good to do that, like when he's still 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:19.600 emotional in Europe set and it's the like you see, 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:24.360 he's not gonna absorb anything too, but to calm him 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.079 down and be on his side and then find those 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.960 little moments to go, do you see where this started 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.160 so you can recognize it next time, so he can 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:37.680 brag about it to Daddy later, brag about what bumping 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:43.079 his head he's real proud. It was really such a 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:47.560 dramatic fall. We didn't even talk about Halloween. I was 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:50.320 working that night. Was the first Halloween I ever missed. 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:55.120 I took the kids around the co op buildings. It 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.800 was good because we were not especially now that brand 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:01.080 is in kindergarten. He has like three friends who live 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:05.480 in our co op building community. So you're actually now 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:07.840 friends for the first time for real. Yeah, they're like 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:12.200 really just being kids. That are they've seen before. I 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.200 was actually when I was walking in yesterday and we 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:16.960 happened to run into our neighbor across the hall. Her 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:22.560 son that I was just talking about the Brin was like, hey, um, 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.880 I'm really excited to go back to school tomorrow, like 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.720 he was. He's just talking about like Monday at school 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.280 when he was like, it's gonna be so cool. We're 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:33.800 going to get to see each other. And this other 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.400 mom was like, I'm so glad that they like school. 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.920 They do like school except every day when I picked 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:45.480 them up again, they're so tired and then they just 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:50.040 lie to your face and everything was bad today. I 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:56.000 hate everyone. I'm never doing anything ever again. Did brind 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:58.080 go to nature class this week? Because he supposed I 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:01.360 didn't ask him about it, but theoretic he did not 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:06.880 go to cooking glass um. But he was very weirdly, 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:13.000 so daylight savings has happened, as you may recall, and 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:17.040 the means uh, in the morning, when I take them 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.960 super early to the car, the sun was up, whereas 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:25.240 it was not up the week before. Brendan may Haven noticed, 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.480 that's interesting. When I picked him up it was dark 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:32.480 where it was not last week. And Brenn thought that 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.160 was incredible. It's dark and it was super dark when 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:41.680 you pick him up at five. And he said, goes, Daddy, 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:45.680 do me a favor and tell Maven when we go 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:50.240 pick her up that you love picking me up when 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:55.000 the sun is down. And I go, okay, sounds great. 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:58.640 Then we picked up Maven, and of course I forgot 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:01.800 about it because it was a very weird request request. 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.600 And then then really got upset because you didn't tell her. 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.880 I go, what you didn't tell her about the secret? 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.240 I had no idea what he's talking about. And then 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.240 finally he had to like whisper to me. He goes, 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:18.480 do you love picking me up in the dark? And 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:20.480 he was like on the verge of tears and then 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.200 I told you, hey, Maven, you know I love picking 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:25.440 up breaking bread in the dark, and the Brin just 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:30.880 started laughing hysterically. Mission accomplished. They both keep getting caught 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:35.840 up in some incredibly dumb logic where they'll start arguing 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.680 with each other and then they both lost the thread 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:40.640 that but they just keep responding to each other and 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:44.040 they're like trying to win. They're like, no, octopuses don't 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.040 do that, and like maybe it's like in tears and 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:52.560 then they're just like, I don't dream of octopus. I don't. Yeah, 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:58.480 it's just it's fun. It's fun, fun arguments we're having. 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:03.960 I've I'm learning the to just not engage. Britton goes, 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.840 I'm gonna make up new rules. Okay, whoever, I eni 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:11.520 MENI mini mo, they're gonna be the winner. Well, brand 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.399 is classic you. He's like, oh, yeah, we can do 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.600 this as long as I'm in charge. And I tell 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:24.040 you that I get to have all the best stuff. Yep. Um. 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.920 Last thing. I'll talk about it tomorrow. Slash Today, when 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.639 this episode comes out, is election day. And I explained 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.679 to Bryan what an election is and he understood it. 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:39.280 I used to for example, our town because I found 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:43.840 there was a flyer for UM candidate running for mayor. 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:49.240 So I kept talking about, you know, as an example, 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:54.080 running for mayor, and he goes, are people going to 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.600 vote for you? Daddy? I'm like, Wow, probably not. He's like, 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:01.920 why you should be? I want you to be mayor. 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:07.480 I will vote for you. And I explain I was like, well, 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:11.280 brand if I if I am the mayor, I can't 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:14.359 be a story part anymore, so I'd have to quit 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:17.119 that job and I have to run the town. And 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.960 he goes, Daddy, I still want you to be mayor, 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:27.840 so please, if you please vote for Peter tomorrow right, 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:35.080 and Peter McNerney in whatever local election. Yeah, he'll take 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:38.880 any city or town. Yeah, I'll run it if I'm 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:43.600 eligible and I have the majority of the votes. Another 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:45.800 weird thing our kids have gleaned from this Charlie Brown 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.160 movie is that they go off in corners and they're 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:52.159 talking to themselves sometimes in and maybe it'll be like 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:57.360 you sign the contract, and then they'll they'll just parrot 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.800 things that they've heard on TV, where you're like, you 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.639 don't know what that means? What do you? Yeah? It 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:08.240 just makes me realize how many things you know but 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:14.080 you you you don't know when you actually actually understood 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:17.040 what it was, but you've known it, you know, when 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:24.400 you oh something one of those things where you've never 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:27.480 stopped and actually thought about what the words themselves mean 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:30.719 because it's just a phrase or something you've known your 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:40.080 whole life. Are you going somewhere with no end of segment? 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:56.600 And now it's time for my headphone cable to get tangled. 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:04.760 And now it's time for a segment called did you notice? 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:09.359 This is where we share something we learned that's parenting related. Beth, 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:14.600 my love? What do you got? Thank you? My love? Um? Okay, 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:17.439 So I just wanted to share this blog post that 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:21.040 um some moms I know we're sharing around this week. 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:24.800 And I'll be honest, I did not research the heavily, 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:26.639 so I don't have a lot of context thing of it. 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.920 But it's from a website called Graham Seabrook dot com 0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:33.520 and it's a blog post from this woman who is 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.080 a mom coach, and it says an open letter to 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:40.080 straight married dad's from a mom coach. And she started 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:42.160 it by asking why are you here? Are you here 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:44.960 to raise your family? And partnership with someone you love. 0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:47.760 And then she goes on and sort of asks these 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:52.560 dads a series of questions like who is your child's pediatrician, dentist, optometrists, 0:20:53.080 --> 0:20:55.040 what are the names of your kids two best friends? 0:20:55.080 --> 0:20:57.320 And sort of like how many times a week does 0:20:57.440 --> 0:20:59.760 laundry need to be done in your house? Etcetera, and 0:20:59.800 --> 0:21:04.040 just sort of she sort of questions the usefulness of 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:11.440 heterosexual male partners in a way that, um, I don't 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:17.080 necessarily think applies to you, but I think very relevant. 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:21.320 I think was resonating very hard with women in different 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:25.360 mom groups. I'm in um um. But let me get 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:28.359 to the end here. She says, Uh, parenting is not 0:21:28.440 --> 0:21:30.639 a spectator sport, and far too many of the mothers 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:32.320 that coach tell me how much easier it is when 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:34.840 their partners aren't home, because at least then there's no 0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:38.160 expectation that this time he'll do something to lift the load. 0:21:38.600 --> 0:21:40.680 If what you bring to your household is a paycheck, 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:42.920 then why are you there. You don't have to live 0:21:42.920 --> 0:21:45.840 there to support them financially. Are you coming home dumping 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:48.160 your feelings about your day on your partner, sitting down 0:21:48.160 --> 0:21:50.119 to a table to eat and then moving on with 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:53.280 your night. You just missed about a million steps, my dude, 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.040 and honestly, I'm done. I'm over it, and I've had 0:21:56.080 --> 0:21:58.840 it up to hear with meeting brilliant, caring, thoughtful mothers 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:00.879 who are working to heal their traumas to give their 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:04.440 children happy and healthy childhoods, and who keep running into 0:22:04.520 --> 0:22:07.040 a brick wall of husbands or partners who think that's 0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:09.560 simply because they're doing more than their dads did, their 0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:18.359 heroes more than five percent is only. Parenting is complicated, exhausting, labor, intensive, logical, emotional, 0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.600 mental work. Holding onto your personhood as a mother in 0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:24.119 today's world is all of that and more so. Dad's 0:22:24.160 --> 0:22:26.840 my question is why are you here? And she goes 0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:30.520 on anyway, Um, I just started reading this article as 0:22:30.520 --> 0:22:39.240 you were sharing it, and you should. Obviously everyone's situation 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:47.080 is different, but just starting to read these questions, uh um, 0:22:47.280 --> 0:22:50.760 really makes its point quite clearly. Can I read some 0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:56.119 of these questions? Go for it? Um? Okay, So yeah, 0:22:56.520 --> 0:22:58.439 this is a good thing to ask yourself. What are 0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:00.960 the names of the people who care for and or 0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:04.760 teach your children? What are their school policies? How long 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:07.080 does your kid need to be fever free before they 0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:10.040 can go back to school. Who is your child's pediatrician? 0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:12.600 Where they located? What is there, what are their hours? 0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:16.800 What is their phone number? Does your child like them? Dentist? Optometrist? 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:19.440 What are the names of your two kids two best friends? 0:23:19.440 --> 0:23:21.840 What are their parents names? What size of clothes and 0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:25.400 shoes to your kids wear? Where where do you usually 0:23:25.440 --> 0:23:28.159 buy them? Where are your kids were? What are your 0:23:28.240 --> 0:23:30.560 kids worried about right now? What are they excited about, 0:23:30.720 --> 0:23:33.080 what are they scared of? What do they want most? 0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:37.440 Who do they love? Um? How many times a week 0:23:37.480 --> 0:23:43.880 does laundry need to be done? It's you know, the 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:49.240 child care is not always uh shared equally amongst parents, 0:23:49.240 --> 0:23:53.000 and that's part of the deal that different couples make 0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:56.080 in terms of who's working and who's not. But by 0:23:56.200 --> 0:24:00.240 reading this list of questions, I thought was a really 0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:06.760 uh simple, brilliant way of painting a picture of what 0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:11.560 um a person is doing all day to take care 0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:14.840 of children, you know what I mean? And also I 0:24:14.880 --> 0:24:17.760 wanted to take that quiz because I could answer every 0:24:17.760 --> 0:24:20.239 single one of those questions, every single one of them. Well, 0:24:20.400 --> 0:24:25.840 they don't have optometrists, but every single one I don't 0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:29.200 know if you like, I don't know if you would 0:24:29.200 --> 0:24:32.719 get on this quiz, ask me, I don't know if 0:24:32.720 --> 0:24:36.280 you get a percent on this quiz. That's true, but 0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:40.959 I like you. Okay, how many loads of laundry need 0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:43.920 to be done per week? Need to? I mean, if 0:24:43.920 --> 0:24:46.439 we're doing it right, we do. This is the thing 0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:49.240 whenever like a mental load thing comes up that you're 0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:52.600 unaware of, you like hetero specual men trying to paint 0:24:52.600 --> 0:24:56.439 a picture of women as being like obsessive about it 0:24:56.520 --> 0:24:59.960 for knowing what needs to get that like if you're 0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:03.240 accumulating a certain amount of laundry pool needs to get 0:25:03.280 --> 0:25:07.000 done at some point, Like sure, sure, but I mean 0:25:07.080 --> 0:25:10.520 if if if we're doing it as much as like 0:25:10.520 --> 0:25:12.120 a part of a nice red of the routine, it's 0:25:12.119 --> 0:25:16.159 like four times a week, but you could wait a 0:25:16.200 --> 0:25:20.600 little longer and do two overly big loads. Okay, But 0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:24.560 like this is how you are with like baths and 0:25:24.600 --> 0:25:27.439 a lot of things where it's like fine, I'll let 0:25:27.440 --> 0:25:29.800 it slide because you're more on top of other day 0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:32.199 to day things. But like the thing is, it's like 0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:36.160 the weeks where I'm not on top of it. It's 0:25:36.200 --> 0:25:37.680 like I go to me and our kid at his 0:25:37.720 --> 0:25:40.240 school on Halloween, and he's in a costume getting sweaty, 0:25:40.280 --> 0:25:44.720 and I'm like, this kid smells. This is a stinky kid. 0:25:45.440 --> 0:25:48.440 Because you know, I'm the only parent who is paying 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:51.680 attention to how much this kid smells. I'm paying attention. 0:25:51.720 --> 0:25:57.760 I don't. I hate I hate baths and I hate laundry. 0:25:58.119 --> 0:26:00.920 I hate I hate that time. I don't know why 0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:04.320 I gave them a bath tonight, because boy, they were stinky. 0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:07.840 I did it, but you're right I do. But also, 0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:11.240 like you know, I think we we have we have 0:26:11.400 --> 0:26:17.040 those things. For you, it's trash and dishes. I do 0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:19.879 more of those, and your's is laundry and baths, and 0:26:19.920 --> 0:26:21.840